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@Still PFP i have a friend in real life with that first initial and first three letters of his last name who follows the dodgers really closely. I'm trying to figure out if this is his twitter or not. 

10 hours, 14 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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@TheConman @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now @Pimparoo (formerly Harry T) Hanley's shot that hit the Western Metal Supply building. mmmmmm. fapped to that shit. 

10 hours, 26 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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@TheConman @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now @Pimparoo (formerly Harry T) I think I might just have my baseball terminology mixed up. I thought "moon shot" referred to Walter Moon's ability to flick cheap homeruns into the shallow left field of the Colosseum 

10 hours, 29 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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@Pimparoo (formerly Harry T) a moon shot in petco? 

10 hours, 31 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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@Still PFP I picture all of them with mustaches. 

10 hours, 32 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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@LA_Woman @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now I'm imagining how I would feel if Kershaw was traded for a package that made good baseball sense. And it's not like that at all. I don't know why that is, and that's why I started it with saying I had to get it off my chest. 

10 hours, 33 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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I have to get something off my chest. I loved Matt Kemp. I defended him when all the flip floppers were booing him. I followed his breakout '09 and his underwhelming '10 and his superman '11 with the same voracity. I've shamelessly flagged him down for autographs, and I've had a couple pleasant chats with him. But despite all this, it absolutely feels like it's the right time for him to go. Maybe I've developed an economist's heart, but I'm not sad at all. I'm sympathetic to the argument that the trade doesn't improve the 2015 team, but I just don't have any sort of emotional attachment to him as a player anymore. I wish him the best in San Diego, and I hope for his own sake that those hips hold up. 

10 hours, 38 minutes ago on Dodgers Finally, Finally Complete Matt Kemp Trade

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and i think his name should be spelled how it sounds. 

14 hours, 12 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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I think Federovicz should have to ride a FedEx truck to San Diego as part of the deal. 

14 hours, 12 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@DBrim @Lobo @Mike Petriello jesus, FedEx, tell us how you really feel. 

14 hours, 13 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@JeniaKatz @JackedNate I know nothing about medicine, but I am giving your speculation the benefit of the doubt because 1) you are correctly labeling it as such and 2) some inside whisperings I've heard makes the idea of Kemp juicing not particularly shocking or new.  

14 hours, 15 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@ThtsaPaddlin is it from Hogwarts? 

14 hours, 33 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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Over the next ten season, the Padres will win 880 games and achieve one wild card berth. 

14 hours, 35 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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A new taco place opened down the street from my house. 1.50 tacos, and they have cabeza. 


#notaboutmattkemp

14 hours, 37 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@JeniaKatz you should take some time to get to know it. 

14 hours, 40 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@internet baseball fan potato friend @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now @- Casey - No, I get it. He has the kind of good guy allure thing to him that works in his favor. I'm somewhere caught up between too nice a guy for my asshole friends and too much of an asshole to be considered a good guy. 

14 hours, 41 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@ThtsaPaddlin it would seem like kind of a raw deal if they did a physical and it showed that the dude's foot is hanging on by a thread, to not let that influence your multi-million dollar decision. 

14 hours, 43 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@- Casey - he seems like a nice, talented kid who deserves to have good things come his way. 

14 hours, 44 minutes ago on Dodgers Continue To Rework Organizational Catching Depth

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@Jeremy_N he's talking shit on the Dodgers 

18 hours, 40 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@TellMyWifeISaidGoodbye @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now I only have his word to go on, but I do not have a hard time believing Steve Lyons would do something like this. 

18 hours, 41 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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My friend has worked for the Dodgers in various entry to mid-level roles for a while. His favorite memory was Steve Lyons hitting on his mom at the Christmas party. 

18 hours, 43 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@Bay_of_Puigs I keep asking myself why the F.O has such a hard-on for Anderson. Must be the groundball rate. 

19 hours, 6 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@omgoozles clearly you were not around for fapmas. 

19 hours, 13 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@poorasian I know, I can't believe it either. 

19 hours, 21 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@Dustin Nosler cat gifs, bill murray, joseph gordon levitt, nudes, look how awesome [not the United States] is, picture that my disabled relative painted. 

19 hours, 56 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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is there a ghost in here? 

20 hours, 1 minute ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@ABSmileBunch @Purple Drank he can throw balls into the left field stands until he gets one. 

20 hours, 5 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@666foldamort he looks like he could squat prince fielder and Evan Gattis on the same barbell. 

21 hours, 35 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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@Math Space Cat @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now maybe I've just dealt with too many HMO doctors in my life. 

21 hours, 38 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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How long do they really have to talk to doctors for. It's a conversation that either goes

"Yep, dude's cooked. run for the hills." or "It's not nothing, but don't trip too hard."

21 hours, 40 minutes ago on Dodgers-Padres trade being held up by Matt Kemp’s arthritic hips

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wish i'd known about the car chase. that shit gets my rocks off. 

1 day, 10 hours ago on Matt Kemp, Right Now, Is Still A Dodger

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@Still PFP a show i wish i got around to watching more often. 

1 day, 13 hours ago on Matt Kemp, Right Now, Is Still A Dodger

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@Mike Petriello Did the Cubs do enough to contend? 

1 day, 14 hours ago on Matt Kemp, Right Now, Is Still A Dodger

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@Iron Man Returns It kind of seems like 40 dollars isn't even a number that Van Slyke should have to have any opinion about. 

1 day, 14 hours ago on Matt Kemp, Right Now, Is Still A Dodger

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@Iron Man Returns @SantaLaSorda yeah, but their patch fix solutions always seem to pan out for some reason. 

1 day, 14 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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@Jeremy_N @Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now "He has an ACL? Those things are ticking time bombs." 

1 day, 15 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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hypothetically, what would stop a team from acquiring a rival's trade bait, intentionally failing the physical, and effectively ruining said player's trade value? 

1 day, 15 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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Today on MSTI

Goat and drank continue their game of cat and mouse... err, goat and drank 

Dave's wife is gonna have a baby carved out of her stomach. Stay tuned for more. 

Jacked Nate, Paul, others relive college statistics class 

The Padres, missing their former top prospect, acquire another former top prospect

Actually, screw it, the whole thing might not even be happening. 

1 day, 15 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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The Kemp trade is not yet in Jeopardy because it doesn't air until 7:00 PM Pacific 


Rate my pun. 

1 day, 15 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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@Pie Fucker @Turner_for_Treasury @SabrDodgers MPAA's priorities in order:

world domination, anti-piracy, profits... free speech. 

1 day, 15 hours ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: LF/CF/RF/Departed Friend Matt Kemp

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