Recovering journalist. Sometime tech blogger. Lifelong sci-fi geek. Mommy. Bacon queen.
@aryl First, I just wanted to note that Livefyre didn't post your comment and I went to check my dashboard today and saw it unapproved, and just approved it, so that you know that I wasn't so thin-skinned that I wouldn't post your comment.
Second, I do understand they're emoticons. I like FB stickers and use them a lot as emoticons. I especially enjoy the Despicable Me stickers.
I'm not insulted by facts. I like facts. In fact, I agree that the Internet is mostly for porn and cats. When I talk to a class at Baruch about the Internet, I point out that porn is the most popular thing on the Internet. I also bring up cats.
So, there's that.
I'm not going to respond to everything, point by point, because you have your viewpoint, and I have mine. I'm not going to change your opinion, and you're not going to change mine, in a comment exchange on a blog.
I will take you at your word that you signed the comment with love, and appreciate that you actually took the time to read my post and comment on it - the length of your comment shows how much it actually meant to you to respond, so at least I provoked some thought, which is more than most things on the Internet do, no?
1 hour, 51 minutes ago on Gender roles, or a tale of two Facebook stickers
@SearchDecoder Thanks, Matt! I really am torn between loving the technological advances and being concerned about privacy issues. I am not concerned about the privacy for myself, but as a society, it's not unimportant. But I'll take a way to pay for things via thumbprint or retina scan. :)
2 hours, 3 minutes ago on Privacy vs Progress: Can they co-exist in the information age?
@subatomicdoc I think the medical setting is one of the most important areas for privacy to remain. Other areas are not nearly as important (with some exceptions). However, I think, as you note, the most important issue is people being cognizant of who has their data and how it's being used. I will have to check out Brin's book, thanks!
2 hours, 4 minutes ago on Privacy vs Progress: Can they co-exist in the information age?
@kamichat True, Kami. So I can put you down for #TeamOptimism? :)
1 day, 7 hours ago on Privacy vs Progress: Can they co-exist in the information age?
@aryl As I noted in the post, it was an observation, and I recognize it isn't, in and of itself, earth-shattering.
3 days, 10 hours ago on Gender roles, or a tale of two Facebook stickers
@SharonTurcotte I originally wrote the post when Hacker Boy came out. It and Mobile Girl came out at the same time. Hacker Girl wasn't in the sticker store yet. I updated it after Hacker Girl showed up in the store.
@DavidBarton While you do raise some good points, David - including the entire newsjacking of newsjacking of newsjacking question - this is a blog about PR for PR professionals. And Edelman is a PR firm. This is a post targeted at people who practice public relations, and this was an excellent example of what not to do.
That said, I don't really disagree with most of what you're saying. :)
2 weeks ago on Newsjacking Tragedy
@Joe Loomer Thank you for reading, Joe! I appreciate Benn's perspective so much, especially as the mother of two boys.
2 weeks, 2 days ago on Raising the Next Generation of Women in a #YesAllWomen World
@Howie Goldfarb I am honored to have been the person to teach you to facepalm properly, Howie.
Also, that paragraph is worth a DOUBLE facepalm, at least. :)
2 weeks, 4 days ago on PR is More than Media Relations
I saw something today where a venue was trying to bill a bride $500 apiece for bad reviews left by guests at her wedding - deducting it from the safety deposit. How about these businesses spend the time and energy making their businesses worth giving good reviews to?
I can't believe I'm linking to the NY Post, but: http://pagesix.com/2014/08/04/hotel-charges-500-for-every-bad-review-posted-online/
3 weeks, 4 days ago on Are We In Danger of Losing the Right to an Opinion?
@storageDiva Thank you. It was one of the prouder moments of my life, actually. Sadly enough. :)
3 weeks, 4 days ago on Street Harassment, or a Tale of Every Woman
@CecilHelton I think sometimes our emotions get the better of us. I think she recognizes she didn't handle it very well and felt badly. In that regard, she shouldn't be too hard on herself, either. But as @James Rothaar points out - you never know where the right opportunity is going to come from, so thanking is always the best route.
4 weeks ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Helping Friends Find Jobs
@MarkStory Thanks for your input, Mark. You're absolutely right about personal introductions being a better route, if you can provide it.
@kamichat Oh noes! I hope he didn't mind. ;)
On the flip side, I've had photos from my teen years posted and I didn't mind at all. It's really a hard question, because what if you can't get in touch with the person? Or what if you want to share, and the person says no, but you're in the photo, too? Lots of elements to the issue.
You just can't ever go wrong by asking, though, even if you don't like the answer.
1 month ago on The #SMEtiquette of Sharing Old Photos
@BalancingJane I've seen your site on Centup, too, Jane! Really like it.
Thanks for your comments; we are making a lot of these rules up as we go. And your point about the scope vs the motivation is very true. I think the other issue at hand, though, is also the *ease* - times when we might have thought twice about sharing something, we just go ahead and do it, because it's easy. Not only are we able to share more publicly and widely, we're able to share so easily that we may not even have our motivations in mind when we do share.
Interestingly, a friend of mine whose children are in college now said his daughters actually have a *greater* sense of privacy than we'd have thought. They are more acutely aware of what is private and what isn't, and are more careful than we think they would be. I think the main difference is that the things that we feel we might be embarrassed by are not things that embarrass them.
@thatdarnhelcat Ah, perms. :)
@LiLo335 inorite? It's like the son and mom never bothered to learn ANYthing about this country. And that the daughter is so blinded by her wealthy white American upbringing that she believes she has the right to say whatever she wants to whomever she wants, without regard to the repercussions it could have on that person. But at least she knows what a cesspool this country is.
1 month, 1 week ago on FX’s ‘Tyrant’ Exceeds Low Expectations
My main problem is that of all of Barry's family, only his daughter has a brain and her shrill complaints are getting annoying, even though she's on point. His wife is an idiot. How could she be so unaware of what his home country was like? Did she never watch the news? Did she decide to not learn anything about his home or his family because he didn't talk about it?? I yell at the TV every single time she opens her mouth, practically.
@Ike Ha! Love that.
1 month, 1 week ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of the Twitter Block
@Tinu @Danny Brown Interesting points, Danny. I do agree that we throw the word "hate" around way too much. I don't hate much, because that takes a tremendous amount of energy - as much as love, as it's as strong an emotion. That said, people do use it to mean stupid things like this.
But Tinu is onto something when she talks about the blowback against Sandberg. There are people who really feel this venomous hatred for her and it's troublesome. Disagree with her, dislike her, sure. Hate? That's strong language, but there are definitely people out there who are really hating on her.
1 month, 1 week ago on Can We All Just Agree to Stop Hating Sheryl Sandberg Already?
@Tinu It actually takes effort not to be judgy - Not enough people make the effort to not be judgmental. Wait. Did that sound judgmental?
1 month, 1 week ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Disagreeing with a Co-worker’s Non-Work Behavior
@amvandenhurk Absolutely. If people would just talk to one another, and realize we're all different, so many things would be better.
@Kelly Whalen Absolutely, Kelly. It's so short-sighted and I don't understand why, purely from a business viewpoint, this keeps going on. SMH.
1 month, 1 week ago on Booth Babes Are Still A Thing, Apparently
@Ike Absolutely, Ike. One of the things I try to deal with in my #SMEtiquette posts, too, is that we all use social in different ways and there may be multiple reasons that something happened. I find that often it comes down to: If you have a problem with someone, TALK TO THAT PERSON. (Side note: Livefyre trapped you in moderation hell and I only found this comment today.)
@Danny Brown Right? Just deal with it. Who cares? (Side note: Livefyre trapped this comment in moderation for some reason. Maybe it was "ASSHATS" - just found it today. Sometimes I have to do multiple searches to find things.)
1 month, 1 week ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of the Mass Unfollow
@Howie Goldfarb Absolutely. Especially because the Twitter unfollow bug does seem to still exist. But the people who follow just for a follow back are so lame.
@SEOcopy Well said, Gabriella! (Side note: Livefyre had buried this comment in moderation and I had to do several searches today to find it.)
1 month, 1 week ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of #FollowFriday
@leslieposton Gasp! :)
Look, everyone uses social media for different things. None of them is wrong. Unless you're using it to be an ass to someone. Then that's wrong. :)
1 month, 1 week ago on The #SMEtiquette of Sharing Old Photos
@leslieposton I have my Facebook settings so that I have to approve tags. Most of the time, I do, but there have been cases where it's been of my son or a bad photo of me, and I just prefer not to have the tag there. :)
1 month, 2 weeks ago on The #SMEtiquette of Sharing Old Photos
@photo chris Excellent point. And as @ginidietrich says, women do talk more about their families, but I think that's in part because they're asked more about their families.
There are these societal expectations that sometimes even when the question isn't asked, it's brought up.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on What Having it All Really Means
My big issue about "having it all" is that men are never expected to. Until we start looking at the family as a whole and stop expecting the mom to do everything, women won't be able to have it all. I'm fortunate in that I have a husband who has chosen to be the primary caregiver. But what works for my family doesn't work for many others. Both employers and parents have to recognize that all parents need to participate in home life.
@Tinu I consider myself a recovering journalist. Kind of like the Marines (though I'm sure most Marines would shudder at the analogy) - you're never a former journalist. You're just no longer an active journalist. :)
1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Long and Winding Road that Leads … Somewhere
@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Completely agree. It's hard not to shake our fists at young'uns when they're completely discounting the fact that Gen X is actually the generation of digital natives. Tech grew up with and evolved with us.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on There’s a Storm Brewing Between Gen X and Gen Y
Honestly, I don't think it's brewing - I think it's been here for a while. Gen Y gets pissed at us. Gen X says, "Get off my lawn, you whippersnappers." Boomers roll their eyes. We stomp our feet and go upstairs to our bedroom and turn the punk music up to 11.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on There’s a Storm Brewing Between Gen X and Gen Y
@iancleary Absolutely! I do love to have my phone with me sometimes, to check directions or take a photo of the boys. But I've been trying a lot harder to just be in the moment.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on You Deserve A (Digital) Break Today
@AmyMccTobin @hessiejones @smoestoe
1 month, 3 weeks ago on The First Millennial Think Tank: What We Learned When We Asked THEM
My condolences. So sad. :(
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Saying Goodbye to a Trusted Friend
@AmyMccTobin @hessiejones @smoestoe Honestly, it doesn't matter if you're in tech or not - we're going to be on this roller coaster until we retire, period. And I read that LinkedIn post, Amy. It was really good.
smoestoe - I don't know enough about Canada or Canadian politics to even begin to respond to most of what you said. But I think you had a very important point early on - that those who have achieved positions of power "are there because they were just born into the right class". I'm afraid that no matter what generation you're in, there are distinctions of class and wealth that are always going to be there. And right now, those who are wealthy appear to be working hard to ensure they remain that way, at the expense of everyone else.
@Tinu Ah, yes. Re-reading, I see that now. :)
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Heathers: As relevant today as it was the day it was released
@Tinu Interesting perspective. But Veronica *does* want to force the status to be a little less quo. She finally embraces that at the end, but knows that without the scrunchie, she can't have the power to actually do that. She embraces the power as a means to flatten the playing field.
But I just saw my high school, pretty much. :)
I do get a little tired of Gen Xers being tarred with the same brush as boomers, as in this quote:"We weren’t the entitlement generation; the entitlement generation is the generation before us, and the one before that, that felt they were entitle to make all of these sweeping, big picture decision without thinking about what would happen afterwards"
Xers never felt entitled to anything, because we never had anything. We have much more in common with Millennials than we're given credit for - we graduated into a recession, were the first generation not to do as well financially as our parents. However, I have a feeling that that quote wasn't even referring to Gen Xers, because we're usually just forgotten about anyway.
We were called the slackers because when we graduated there were no jobs to be had. Almost everything said in here can refer to Gen Xers, too - as @hessiejones notes in her reply comment to @smoestoe - whose comment could almost have been written by me, with some slight changes of the details.
And as soon as we were finally in management and able to start making any changes to how things were, the Great Recession hit, and we were all laid off. The first dot-com rise was due to Xers. The current dot-com economy owes a lot to Xers. I don't ask for credit, nor expect it to be given (I am, after all, an Xer). But just stop pretending like we don't exist.
@ArielaRoss I agree, to an extent.
But I also think that users of these games need to really just be more considerate. It's extremely easy to NOT send game requests to people who don't play. It takes as many clicks to not send as to send.
I block game requests often, because I know how to do that. But it's honestly easier for the game user to not send than to block the request.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Game Invitations
@JoeCardillo @Danny Brown I remember being out with a friend at a club on Miami Beach (a lifetime ago) and this guy kept asking me to dance. My friend danced with a friend of this guy. I kept turning him down, eventually being outright rude. A male friend of mine showed up about that time and I darted over to him and told him to dance with me briefly to see if I could get rid of this other guy. The creep's friend had the audacity to tell me that *I* was really rude to be dancing with this other person when I'd turned down his friend.
Fortunately, they left not long after, but it was astounding how this guy decided I was going to dance with him, and that I therefore had no right to dance with anyone else.
2 months, 1 week ago on Endemic Cultures and Why We Need More Logical Indians
@delwilliams I never cease to be amazed at how many people just don't understand some very simple things like this. :) I have a feeling it falls more under "clueless" than rude. Though I suppose I should never underestimate the power of rude, either.
2 months, 1 week ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Tagging Photos
@Danny Brown Admittedly, sometimes it's just easier to ignore. Takes less energy. But I've decided recently I'm no longer going to ignore. Like the time I was walking past a guy in a suit and tie on a NYC street and he looked at me appraisingly and said as he was right next to me, "Great ass." I just ignored it, because I was on my way somewhere and couldn't be bothered. I should have stopped right then and there and let him have it. Next time that happens (and it will, sadly), I *will* stop and say something.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Endemic Cultures and Why We Need More Logical Indians
Thanks for this post, @DannyBrown , and also for the link to my Lumi story. :) Just the other day, I was waiting for my sons' schoolbus and some teens on another bus yelled out the window to me, "Bitch, gimme some!" A part of me wanted to just ignore it because it's not like it was the first time something like that had happened. It gets tiring and you want to spare your energy for the times you *really* need it.
But if anything has shown we can't afford to do that anymore, it's recent examples, such as many of those you highlight. We all - men and women alike - need to stand up and refuse to allow the cretins among us to shape our society.
@NancyDavis Exactly. Despite our Facebook wall being our place and we don't have to alter things to make others feel more comfortable if we don't want, there comes a point where it's being considerate of others. Sometimes intent doesn't matter - joking around in person is not as permanent as online. And yet people sometimes are MORE open online and more prone to making inappropriate jokes they'd never make in person.
As for your friend and her sex life, I agree. I don't really get it when people do that - but I think it's one of those phases some people go through. I'm guessing she doesn't have children, or else you could use that tack - imagine how she'd feel if she'd seen her parents posting about their sex lives when she was a kid, eh?
Thanks so much for reading!
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Embarrassing Conversations
@Danny Brown Absolutely. I think about this a whole lot. But I'm also extremely open about the fact that I treat my Facebook wall a little differently than I act in person. I swear a lot IRL, but I tend not to on Facebook. It's a deliberate choice - not to make myself seem holier than though, but because of how I feel about the written word. I have dropped Fbombs on Facebook or Twitter, but in those cases people REALLY see how I feel because I use it so sparingly. It actually has the intended shocking effect.
In addition, on Facebook, we are around a whole bunch of other people. Part of it is being considerate of all these other people, who may not have the same feelings we do about language. I don't regard it as censoring myself for the sake of others, but rather being considerate of others. I am exactly the same person in real life as online, just with more swears. And everyone knows it.
There's a fine line here, absolutely. Thanks, Danny!
Sometimes the amount of choice we have drives me batty. I feel like I make one choice only to have to make three more choices based on that choice. It's especially bad in restaurants. It's like, THIS IS WHAT I ORDERED, JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on The Dilution of Choice
@DonnaChaffins I've only done it a handful of times, and I've always warned first. I've had a few friends who've deleted their comments before I've even had the chance to say anything, because they realized they went a bit too far.
I think the main problem is that too many people don't bother thinking before they post. They feel as if they have the right to say whatever they want. To a degree, that's true. But just because you have the "right" doesn't mean that it is right to say it.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Embarrassing Conversations