Moncton, NB Canada
An outdoor enthusiast, rock & ice climber, backpacker & mountaineer...with a creative side :D
@Lori I can totally relate to this - and tell my fiancé often to be careful with negative thoughts - or THEY too will become the reality - - what you THINK you create :)
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Do You Remember What the Question Was?
Such a truer statement has never been said: 'emotional issues are at the
root of the physical ailments'. I believe that this is the ONLY way our body can
'yell' at us -to say WOAH up there buddy - CHILL OUT!
I think the old adage of 'careful what you wish for' is so true. The issue is
that when we 'wish' for something - we are NOT specific....we wish for happiness
.... but the direction of travel may be divorce from the abusive spouse, time
alone to find oneself and then HAPPINESS finds you!? :)
I think what we need to do is continue on the basis of Miquel Ruiz's “The
Four Agreements1. Be impeccable with your word.2. Don’t take anything
personally.3. Don’t make assumptions.4. Always do your best. ”
and simply ADD to this - be impeccable with your THOUGHTS. For me this means
- staying positive in my thoughts - because I DO feel - that our thoughts (which
control our behaviours), manifest themselves into our present!
I always wondered what was the difference between all the time I (as
a teenager) spent on the phone TALKING to my friends, versus all the time MY
teen girls spend texting...but yet people FREAK out. Let's be honest...there
is no difference.
Just as our grandparents thought television would
'ruin' teenagers, as too we (society in general) feel that the cyberworld is
'ruining' our teens.Yes - along with the constant connectivity, there
are negs (as well as many pros)...but this article is pretty bang on with
Hi, My name is Stacey, and I am a smartphone addict :)
5 months, 2 weeks ago on Technology: Are We Too Connected?
THIS IS SOOOOO TRUE! Sandi is correct, there is NO finish line, and we HAVE to learn to enjoy the journey and not just be so focused on END result.
"QUIT until tomorrow" THat is the best advice I've heard in a long time;Sometimes clearing your head, and 'forgetting' (even momentarily) about the problems/details can allow some clarity.
I've wanted to QUIT many times in the last few years, but have had many wonderful people/things who have motivated me to keep going; my students, a loving partner, my children, my close & dear friends.
Sometimes we just need to sit back and realize that the world indeed will continue to exist EVEN if we don't fix those 'details' today or maybe even tomorrow.
I think we can't/don't know how to allow ourselves to sit back and enjoy what IS. We always want to better things to have things in a more acceptable light in the present!We need to learn to enjoy our present for all it's imperfections
10 months, 2 weeks ago on Do You Have Days When You Want to Quit?
apparently I am too verbose as I'm getting an error that my comment is TOO long and to re-edit...off to 'limit' my thoughts :S
@Lori @StaceyMJCouturier off to read! Thanks Lori!
1 year ago on Do You Know the Secret?
@Lori @sdekins I agree with what you are saying Lori. We have the power within to make choices, every day EVERY single 'action' out there is neutral. WE choose to make it positive or negative. Though had to believe with some very painful things, I believe that even our heartaches make us stronger, and perhaps we (as mere humans) simply can't see or comprehend if something may be 'better' than the way it appears at face value?
WOW - I LOVE this! <3Though I'll be honest, I've never successfully concentrated enough to have the desired outcome, as clearly as you indicate.I've often found people i love and care about focus on the negative, and then when it comes, they say 'well see I told you it was going to happen'. When in fact they don't realize that their negative energy and thoughts are helping to manifest everything.Any suggestions on how to try to 'turn' people to see the power of positive thinking...because you see, even with the power of positive thinking, you TRULY have to believe...and that is difficult for some people.
HAPPY? hmmm - what IS happy?
My initial phrase that I wanted to type was 'Happiness is over-rated'
I'm FAR from a negative person, to be honest, I am borderline on annoyingly positive...and yet this phrase still sticks...NOT because I think that Happiness IS over-rated per se...but that simply I think our lives are meant more to have a daily contentment about them, as opposed to pure happiness.
When I think happiness, I think of the baby in the picture...no worries, life ahead, everything is 'perfect'.
Which as adults, we know either doesn't exist, OR doesn't exist (perfection that is) for long...as reality sets in and we have to deal and cope with life because you see..even though ONLY we are in control of our own happiness, the actions of those around us (including strangers) does indeed contribute to the actions we have to deal with and choose to be 'happy (rather content) despite or because of.
1 year ago on Are You Happy?
Am I stubborn? hahaIs the Pope Catholic? :) hehe
You're right - given a new or more *positive* name - we would more gladly accept this as part of who we are...we're too sensitive to the negative idea of 'stubbornness' :)
It's like starting a group therapy session of:
Hi, my name is Stacey and I'm stubborn...will you join me?
I am stubborn when it comes to my opinion, I love 'stubbornly', in that you're hard pressed to lose my love once you've got it.
I am me, stubborn and loving...:)
1 year, 1 month ago on Are You Stubborn?
Good morning from the East Coast - sometimes I feel like I've fallen off the wagon (or in this case, the porch)...but also always feel welcome'd home :)I am with you Lori, I can't seem to meditate in the 'traditional' way. If I *close* my mind to the internal chatter, it's only me falling asleep! :)However, I find peace sometimes as I'm hiking through the woods, or listening to a quiet brooke as it bubbles along. I'm struggling now to find a new inner calm, and am working towards allowing myself to just 'be' in my own quietness.
1 year, 1 month ago on Is Meditation the Only Way to Realize Divinity?
@Carolethat is PERFECT! The mirror analogy is ideal indeed and I believe you're correct!!
1 year, 3 months ago on Do You Give Unsolicited Advice?
I think that is the key - we 'want' to help is that a female trait, a human trait? how do others learn to curb it - or is it that they are self-sufficient
well well well.. dear Lori' - you've done it again :)Are you IN my head? hahaDo "I" Stacey Marie GIVE unsolicited advice. URGh - I hate to admit it - but yes. I'd like to say I only give it when it's asked but I'd be in la-la land.I willingly give advice when asked - naturally - but like you - I willingly give what I feel is 'needed' advice. Sometimes, I fear it's not wanted, not even wanted to be heard.Why do we feel we 'know' so much - we are merely giving advice from our own lives, our own 'pictures'. our own values, pasts, experiences.It's hard to give "REAL" advice - because we are NOT in the other person's shoes, we haven't lived their life, we haven't experienced their memories.Is there a right or wrong? I'm unsure. Sometimes I greatly value others advice. I think the key for me (to help myself) is to be ok for the person receiving the advice to NOT heed it. That is where I struggle now - I get annoyed when I give unsolicited advice, (great advice IMO) and the person (who never asked for it) has the nerve to ignore my wonderful advice :S :D
I just joined ; it was to discuss The Sense of an Ending...we chatted/had discussion questionsI like the idea of delving into a self-help/developmental book! I most definitely be joining in if I can :D
1 year, 3 months ago on Have You Read Any Good Books Lately?
Sounds awesome! Look out amazon (I prefer to use amazon.ca - - lots of great used book prices). I'm ordering this one today. I too am an avid reader and like Lori (more so I believe) have some books new to me but unread. I need/plan on fixing that this summer with a new relaxing lifestyle. Some recent book purchases (all through recommendations are:)F**K It Therapy: The Profane Way to Profound Happiness by John C. Parkin
Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't by Michael LosierDying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing by Anita Moorjani
for a new book club I've joined.The Ten-Year Nap by Mg WolitzerThe Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
Inside by Alix Ohlin (new for this month's book club)
Dear Adrienne...I'm sorry to hear about your Dad...sick 50/52 years is a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended). I'm on the fence (quite literally), as I believe in karma/the SECRET/ Law of Attraction, etc. And I do believe it can start at a young age, I'm unsure what Louise Hay would say in regards to pneumonia...however, personally, I had pneumonia 3 times before I was two, yet have led a quite healthy life every since. Not knowing MORE of the story...perhaps search for silver linings? I know when my daughter Jeneca died at only 9 days old, I started to struggle with; what had my husband and I done wrong, why was that happening; now I focus on the positive, perhaps she'd have had a hard life, we wouldn't have gone on to have two beautiful & healthy daughters. Hugs & prayers for you my friendStacey
1 year, 3 months ago on Dear LFI: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
Thank YOU Lori for sharing, and allow us to be part of your healing process. I firmly believe that being part of 'family'...online, blood, friendship can help us through anything. HUGS
1 year, 4 months ago on Thank You
speakers for piped in music? can you control that from your bed? or must you get up to decide?
1 year, 5 months ago on What’s on Your Nightstand?
Oh Lori - my bedstand is BORING! haha
I do like your idea of that app...I may have to look into it
On my nightstand:
Steve Jobs book that I started reading months ago, and while I was/did enjoy it - I seem to have fallen off reading at night in the last 6 months with a lifestyle change
earplugs - again from a previous life, but haven't moved them - sleeping alone doesn't require them...I should clean up and toss them
alarm clock (no radio)
Climbing magazines - older ones that had some interesting articles in them
Pushing the Limits book - - a new climbing book I ordered awhile back
Viktor Frankl's book: Man's Search for Meaning, which I read more in my chair in my room than my bed.
Absolutely! Snow days are the best (though I'm marking right now)... ever diligent teacher eh? :) hehe... but that is ok - it's beautiful and a good day for it!Snow angels - I've not done that in years, but yesterday walking back from lunch (to the car) my friend Lisa & I had a short impromtu snow ball fight...which I won (naturally) :) hehe
1 year, 5 months ago on Are You Doing the Rarest Thing in the World?
Oh Lori - do I EVER over-analyze....my life, my thoughts & words, OTHER people's words & actions!
It seems to be a never-ending cycle of over-analyzing! and you're right - it prevents me/us from truly just living (how many times do I reference living in the NOW).
Sometimes it's hard to just BE. Sometimes it's hard to just accept and know that whatever is going on is just that - and accept it at face-value!?
I cannot get to a point in my life where I accept that others do what they do because of their OWN issues/circumstances. From the four agreements, we're told 'NOTHING ANYONE ELSE DOES IS BECAUSE OF US!'...and I honestly believe we need to live each and every day, idea, circumstance this way - but it's SOOOO hard.
I do not have anything specific that gets me out of my head...perhaps the closest that comes to it is blaring my music loud, and singing at the top of my voice...NOTHING else can stay in there!
I think it SHOULD Be in us, but I do believe that there may be times when we do lean on others for that solid place. Sometimes we so need the support that even if we find that small rock to stand on, we're so weak, that we can't balance on the rock.
1 year, 5 months ago on Where is Your Solid Ground?
I was worried Lori as I began (mid-way) through reading your post...but then I realized where it was going - and you're right -
WE ARE HERE TOGETHER on the PORCH! for the good, bad, happy & sad. SOLID ground is not just the when things are good. Heck , it's easy to find solid ground then - it's in abundance. It's imperative and key to KNOW and find solid ground when you're standing in quick sand...and it may only be a small rock on which you jump but stand strong, and we will gather around and support you!
That is what family and friends do...
my solid ground is taking a step back, and literally (sometimes with pen & paper) writing down ALL the good LEFT in my life - - of which I am then reminded, there is LOTS!!
survival is a daily joy! life CAN be good...moving is key! :D
1 year, 6 months ago on You Will Survive
Yes - it's like we want to disappear and feel if we 'leave' our body, things will be better...like maybe someone else in our body would've made better choices etc?
Daily onward movement is the only thing that keeps us alive.
When I first learned of his betrayal in 2009, it was 7am and I still went to work that day. I HAD to go - I HAD to keep moving...if I'd allowed myself to curl in the ball, I honestly may NOT have had the courage to uncurl.
Some days though, I really wish I could just NOT have to deal with stuff...do you ever wish that some days it'd be nice to NOT have to always be strong...to just be taken care of!? Not sure that would/is a good thing either...but truthfully - - some days I get sick of the 'handle'. I welcome and sooo want boring! haha
WOW - sometimes Lori, I feel that we are such truly kindred spirits. Like you look into my soul and pull out the most appropriate post available to make me realize that I WILL survive TODAY - now - at the end of January, 2013!
Yes - I know exactly what you mean, and I just listened to that song in its entirity and realized that we DO survive.
Looking back, not to the death of a close relative per se...but a variety of other painful moments in my life...I realize that I could have curl up in a ball and given up (I'm sure there were times when that was indeed what I WANTED to do), but somehow, I never allowed myself. Whether it was because good friends pulled me up, or since children, I realized I NEEDEd to be strong for them...who knows (or cares) why exactly, I never gave up.
But I finally feel as though I have a HANDLE on life. I've removed the negative from my life (both literally in leaving an abusive relationship and figurativity, in that I surround myself with people of a positive nature and see the silver lining/the best in the person &/or situation)...that is the way to 'survive' in my opinion...one day at a time without the pressure of 'perfection' :)
hehe - I can imagine you 'wondering' wtf Stacey might say to this... and laughing :) heheh
1 year, 6 months ago on Are You Trying to Change Your Life?
go with what comes
I LOVE that one! and yes - @harleena...how DO You do it!
hehe - thanks Lori..it's a great post - and I'm VERY happy I got off my butt and onto the porch! I need to do it more often (figuratively and literally)! I miss you ! x
I was and do feel overwhelming with not being 'up to date'. I used to be on LFI posts every time....eh @lori? but I've been lax on that for a long time now :( which makes me sad, and make me not post at all - now I realize, I can/want to post when I can...and it's ok if it's not every post!
What a great idea of a mantra (instead of resolutions - right up there with the empowering words of 2013)....and I may just have to 'accept it' (thus *borrowing* yours)...or even 'go with it'. :)
Yeah I think GO with IT will be my 2013 Mantra...thanks Lori!
why go with it? because I truly believe that regardless of what life may or will throw at me - I will GO WITH IT!
that doesn't mean that I will allow it to consume me or that I will be a doormat, or ignore or NOT make changes I need to make. For me, it just means that I will deal with whatever 'IT' is...and move forward...no regret or grudges, etc. Life continues even if we feel time stops.
NOW needs to be good enough...I am actually LOVING my now - and if you'd asked me a few months ago in the midst of leaving an emotionally abusive relationship if I'd be happy being STACEY and happy in whatever my now would be - I'd have laughed, and said 'I just want to survive'. However, when you least expect it, happiness can find it's way into your NOW, IF IF IF you allow it. So enjoy the journey my friend (s)...every day is our NOW...and yes we need to accept that 'it is what it is' :)
@Lori @bdorman264 But I want to win? :D
1 year, 6 months ago on Five Empowering Words for 2013
@Lori You're absolutely right Lori...it's all about being content and happy with what IS....and enjoying the JOURNEY...I've been guilty of being so concentrated on the destination, that I've forgotten to 'stop & smell the roses'...or the journey. and let's realize and admit that the journey is the BEST part of it!! thank you - 2013 is MY year...of life & happiness :D
What a great idea Lori - and I think words are a lot better than specific resolutions. Words can/may take on very significant meanings throughout the year
My words are:
I choose these Five words because
1) Acceptance - I will accept what is going on, who I am, my life as it is. We need (I need) to continue to work and live in the NOW
2) Contentment - I will enjoy contentment throughout my day. Our thoughts become our reality...make the best of your thoughts and enjoy contentment
3) Be - I will enjoy who I am....including my faults, including the good & not so great. Because all of it is who I am. I will enjoy BEing in the moment, BEing me, and BEing NOW :)
4)Smile - I believe in paying it forward and that happiness is contagious. If I have a smile on my face, it will help - even if I have to 'fake it til I make it' :D
5)Reflect - I think we always need time to reflect on our choices, our lives and who we are...having good self-awareness if an incredible virtue to have!
I'm so sorry to hear that your friend is going through this, and even that you are going through this. It is so difficult when someone close to us is going through something and we can't help as we wished we could.Would she talk to her family doctor or maybe go to a different therapist (unfortunately people who've had a bad experience with a therapist, lump them all together, when in fact most are very helpful indeed).Perhaps she could focus on one issue at a time, as opposed to the entire scenario, as i'm assuming it's VERY overwhelming for her...so maybe small pieces might help her digest and deal with things?
1 year, 7 months ago on Dear LFI: How Do I Help My Friend?
never too late right? :)I have been WAY behind on LFI, and I miss it. Lori was kind enough to take the time out of her own busy life to LET ME KNOW that I was missed, and it meant more than words can say...so here I am - and playing catch up as there've been some amazing topics!
I agree with Melanie, a hero goes BEYOND their job, the society expectation that they do. Doesn't that make sense? I mean really - that firefighter HAD BETTER go rescue that person, that is their job, and yes their job has risk, but they choose that job & there fore choose the risk (IMO)
1 year, 7 months ago on What Makes Someone a Hero?
I agree, no denial required...BUT when it goes beyond the kiss, and the hands are moving and it's ANOTHER kisss...and more.. perhaps it's a bit too much! If it doesn't belong on Prime Time TV, perhaps it doesn't belong on our streets
1 year, 8 months ago on How do You Feel About Public Displays of Affection?
Melanie, that sounds like a fair analogy, and really - shouldn't THOSE displays be sufficent publicly? The showing of love is meant to be between two people....
@galenpearl I love your take on it, especially your final thoughts. It IS better to see love & affection, than fighting and hatred. Yes, I'm sure there is a happy medium, but I think we've shown, just in this thread, that EVERYONE has a different version of what is acceptable publicly or not.Maybe we can look and concentrate on the positive (it's a love/affection/lust) thing, as opposed to the opposite!
now THAT would leave it wide open :D
OMG _ I literally laughed out loud Carmelo! sounds like win-win in your opinion :D
1 year, 9 months ago on How do You Feel About Public Displays of Affection?
I definitely hug more than I handshake, I honestly find handshakes VERY formal... :D I agree that there are appropriate and inappropriate signs of affection, but could also argue that there is always SOMEONE who may be offended (and I am far from being a prude)...WHO determines what is too much?
absolutely! definitely different on our local city bus than if we're away as tourists.
haha - I like that! Do you feel there are any exceptions?
Oh Melody, thanks for making me laugh out loud! You're right, if you can hear the sound of saliva swapping, they are DEFINitELY too close! That's a good point about teens. Ironically we don't see it as much in school...which I wonder if it's because kids have so much free time with both parents working, etc.I too enjoy seeing people in love, and feel that there is a time and place ...a park bench vrs the bus! Great point.Where do you feel that line is for exhibitionism? Do you think most often it's a case of people being caught up in the moment or are they trying to get a rise out of society?
I think that is a great point Lori, Look at how open Europeans are! I think it's important we take a step back sometimes from our judgmental stances
Oh that is a great way to describe it... it's definitely LUST when it's over the top. I think sometimes people forget where they are and who is around
@hajra "I cannot do without a cell phone but I am not addicted to it"
hmm...being devil's advocate ...isn't the definition of 'addicition' not being able to live without something?
1 year, 9 months ago on Do You Suffer from Nomophobia?
first off, our ancestors would roll over in their graves at the thought of us spending hard earned money on food prepared by other people when we could eat at home at a fraction of the price. :DJust saying :)