Stacey Couturier
Moncton, NB Canada
- 922 comments
- 579 likes given
- 516 likes received
An outdoor enthusiast, rock & ice climber, backpacker & mountaineer...with a creative side :D
Am I stubborn? haha
Is the Pope Catholic? :) hehe
You're right - given a new or more *positive* name - we would more gladly accept this as part of who we are...we're too sensitive to the negative idea of 'stubbornness' :)
It's like starting a group therapy session of:
Hi, my name is Stacey and I'm stubborn...will you join me?
I am stubborn when it comes to my opinion, I love 'stubbornly', in that you're hard pressed to lose my love once you've got it.
I am me, stubborn and loving...:)
Good morning from the East Coast - sometimes I feel like I've fallen off the wagon (or in this case, the porch)...but also always feel welcome'd home :)
I am with you Lori, I can't seem to meditate in the 'traditional' way. If I *close* my mind to the internal chatter, it's only me falling asleep! :)
However, I find peace sometimes as I'm hiking through the woods, or listening to a quiet brooke as it bubbles along. I'm struggling now to find a new inner calm, and am working towards allowing myself to just 'be' in my own quietness.
@Carole
that is PERFECT! The mirror analogy is ideal indeed and I believe you're correct!!
I think that is the key - we 'want' to help
is that a female trait, a human trait? how do others learn to curb it - or is it that they are self-sufficient
well well well.. dear Lori' - you've done it again :)
Are you IN my head? haha
Do "I" Stacey Marie GIVE unsolicited advice. URGh - I hate to admit it - but yes.
I'd like to say I only give it when it's asked but I'd be in la-la land.
I willingly give advice when asked - naturally - but like you - I willingly give what I feel is 'needed' advice.
Sometimes, I fear it's not wanted, not even wanted to be heard.
Why do we feel we 'know' so much - we are merely giving advice from our own lives, our own 'pictures'. our own values, pasts, experiences.
It's hard to give "REAL" advice - because we are NOT in the other person's shoes, we haven't lived their life, we haven't experienced their memories.
Is there a right or wrong? I'm unsure. Sometimes I greatly value others advice.
I think the key for me (to help myself) is to be ok for the person receiving the advice to NOT heed it. That is where I struggle now - I get annoyed when I give unsolicited advice, (great advice IMO) and the person (who never asked for it) has the nerve to ignore my wonderful advice :S
:D
I just joined ; it was to discuss The Sense of an Ending...we chatted/had discussion questions
I like the idea of delving into a self-help/developmental book! I most definitely be joining in if I can :D
Sounds awesome! Look out amazon (I prefer to use amazon.ca - - lots of great used book prices). I'm ordering this one today.
I too am an avid reader and like Lori (more so I believe) have some books new to me but unread. I need/plan on fixing that this summer with a new relaxing lifestyle.
Some recent book purchases (all through recommendations are:)
F**K It Therapy: The Profane Way to Profound Happiness by John C. Parkin
Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't by Michael Losier
Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing by Anita Moorjani
for a new book club I've joined.
The Ten-Year Nap by Mg Wolitzer
The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
Inside by Alix Ohlin (new for this month's book club)
Dear Adrienne...
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad...sick 50/52 years is a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended).
I'm on the fence (quite literally), as I believe in karma/the SECRET/ Law of Attraction, etc. And I do believe it can start at a young age, I'm unsure what Louise Hay would say in regards to pneumonia...however, personally, I had pneumonia 3 times before I was two, yet have led a quite healthy life every since.
Not knowing MORE of the story...perhaps search for silver linings? I know when my daughter Jeneca died at only 9 days old, I started to struggle with; what had my husband and I done wrong, why was that happening; now I focus on the positive, perhaps she'd have had a hard life, we wouldn't have gone on to have two beautiful & healthy daughters.
Hugs & prayers for you my friend
Stacey
Thank YOU Lori for sharing, and allow us to be part of your healing process. I firmly believe that being part of 'family'...online, blood, friendship can help us through anything. HUGS
speakers for piped in music? can you control that from your bed? or must you get up to decide?
Oh Lori - my bedstand is BORING! haha
I do like your idea of that app...I may have to look into it
On my nightstand:
Steve Jobs book that I started reading months ago, and while I was/did enjoy it - I seem to have fallen off reading at night in the last 6 months with a lifestyle change
earplugs - again from a previous life, but haven't moved them - sleeping alone doesn't require them...I should clean up and toss them
alarm clock (no radio)
Climbing magazines - older ones that had some interesting articles in them
Pushing the Limits book - - a new climbing book I ordered awhile back
Viktor Frankl's book: Man's Search for Meaning, which I read more in my chair in my room than my bed.
Absolutely! Snow days are the best (though I'm marking right now)... ever diligent teacher eh? :) hehe... but that is ok - it's beautiful and a good day for it!Snow angels - I've not done that in years, but yesterday walking back from lunch (to the car) my friend Lisa & I had a short impromtu snow ball fight...which I won (naturally) :) hehe
Oh Lori - do I EVER over-analyze....my life, my thoughts & words, OTHER people's words & actions!
It seems to be a never-ending cycle of over-analyzing! and you're right - it prevents me/us from truly just living (how many times do I reference living in the NOW).
Sometimes it's hard to just BE. Sometimes it's hard to just accept and know that whatever is going on is just that - and accept it at face-value!?
I cannot get to a point in my life where I accept that others do what they do because of their OWN issues/circumstances. From the four agreements, we're told 'NOTHING ANYONE ELSE DOES IS BECAUSE OF US!'...and I honestly believe we need to live each and every day, idea, circumstance this way - but it's SOOOO hard.
I do not have anything specific that gets me out of my head...perhaps the closest that comes to it is blaring my music loud, and singing at the top of my voice...NOTHING else can stay in there!
I think it SHOULD Be in us, but I do believe that there may be times when we do lean on others for that solid place. Sometimes we so need the support that even if we find that small rock to stand on, we're so weak, that we can't balance on the rock.
I was worried Lori as I began (mid-way) through reading your post...but then I realized where it was going - and you're right -
WE ARE HERE TOGETHER on the PORCH! for the good, bad, happy & sad. SOLID ground is not just the when things are good. Heck , it's easy to find solid ground then - it's in abundance. It's imperative and key to KNOW and find solid ground when you're standing in quick sand...and it may only be a small rock on which you jump but stand strong, and we will gather around and support you!
That is what family and friends do...
my solid ground is taking a step back, and literally (sometimes with pen & paper) writing down ALL the good LEFT in my life - - of which I am then reminded, there is LOTS!!
Yes - it's like we want to disappear and feel if we 'leave' our body, things will be better...like maybe someone else in our body would've made better choices etc?
Daily onward movement is the only thing that keeps us alive.
When I first learned of his betrayal in 2009, it was 7am and I still went to work that day. I HAD to go - I HAD to keep moving...if I'd allowed myself to curl in the ball, I honestly may NOT have had the courage to uncurl.
Some days though, I really wish I could just NOT have to deal with stuff...do you ever wish that some days it'd be nice to NOT have to always be strong...to just be taken care of!? Not sure that would/is a good thing either...but truthfully - - some days I get sick of the 'handle'. I welcome and sooo want boring! haha
WOW - sometimes Lori, I feel that we are such truly kindred spirits. Like you look into my soul and pull out the most appropriate post available to make me realize that I WILL survive TODAY - now - at the end of January, 2013!
Yes - I know exactly what you mean, and I just listened to that song in its entirity and realized that we DO survive.
Looking back, not to the death of a close relative per se...but a variety of other painful moments in my life...I realize that I could have curl up in a ball and given up (I'm sure there were times when that was indeed what I WANTED to do), but somehow, I never allowed myself. Whether it was because good friends pulled me up, or since children, I realized I NEEDEd to be strong for them...who knows (or cares) why exactly, I never gave up.
But I finally feel as though I have a HANDLE on life. I've removed the negative from my life (both literally in leaving an abusive relationship and figurativity, in that I surround myself with people of a positive nature and see the silver lining/the best in the person &/or situation)...that is the way to 'survive' in my opinion...one day at a time without the pressure of 'perfection' :)
Happy Monday!