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Dear Mr. Cano, if you can somehow concuss Chris Berman with a well-hit ball, I will throw a Red Sox-Yankees game of your choosing. - @notcaptaintek

JOHN KRUK: "I could go for some pork rinds right now." AMERICA: "CHEW ON YOUR OWN ARM." - @Mobute

Horrified Home Run Derby Crowd Witnesses David Ortiz and Prince Fielder Devour Chris Berman Alive - @cajolejuiceesquire

[3 Tweet Series]

"Woooow!" -Chris Berman watching a John Holmes movie for the first time

"Woooow!" -Chris Berman watching a man throw a frisbee

"Woooow!" -Chris Berman watching an airplane take off - @NotCaptainTek

"MOONSHOT! THAT ONE WAS A SKYSCRAPER! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BAT-OFF. BORIS BATINOFF! AND IT'S CHASE FIELD. LOOK AT PEOPLE CHASE OUT THERE!" - @Mobute

Chris Berman's tie brought to you by a Crayola, a toddler and LSD. - @Mobute

CHRIS BERMAN'S TIE IS THE START OF A VERY BAD TRIP - @TrippingOlney

The only way Berman's commentary could be any worse would be if someone edited "BACK BACK BACK" onto a Ke$ha song - @fauxjohnmadden

By the way, thought you should know, renting the pool suite is at the top of my bucket list. Along with drowning Chris Berman in it. - @NotCaptainTek

3 years, 1 month ago on Real Tweets From Real People - Chris Berman And The Home Run Derby | July

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