Julie Barrett
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It's always summer here in South Florida, Lori. You know what I'd like to do this year? Just get away for a couple of days, even if it's nearby at a hotel, so the "off" switch in my brain can actually enjoy all those things that I could technically do any day but never do because of all the daily work and "shoulds" getting in the way. Just some time to destress. I have at least a million things on the list that I'd like to do, and any single one of them would make my day :)
Hi Barbara! It's always so nice to understand things and get important things right, but as to perfection in the usual sense - forget it! I've never met anyone who is perfect but those who would like to appear so or who generally "have it all together" can often be boring as you said. But I LOVE the definition of "having all the requisite parts. Now that, everyone has :)
Pat, that's an interesting spin, introverts. I'm sure there are a bazillion of us out there blogging. I agree the best thing about it is the connections we make.
The only way to know what's amiss within is sometimes to have that reflected right back to you. All relationships fulfill that mirroring concept.
That said, it sounds like early on you developed a sense that relationships were about need ("If he doesn't need me, why would he want me, because otherwise I have no value") and they simply aren't.
As you said, it's about boundaries, but I think it's only about boundaries AFTER you've done enough healing to recognize your own intrinsic value. If you're very young, this is more common, but the older we get the more serious it becomes for us to feel so unfulfilled and scared from within.
Some people go on spiritual quests and some people try traditional therapy - whatever you're guided to do, you have your work set out for you, and now you know what direction to start traveling in.
My best suggestion in the future after you've done some healing and want to try again with someone else is this: when you get a kind, loving message, save it on your voicemail. When you get a mean, ranting, raving phone call where you are unjustly accused, save it on your voicemail. Compare the two anytime you find yourself caving in. Listen to one, then the other. If you ever get that second reason to save the voicemail, you'll know you are doing it again and are right back in the cycle. Tell yourself NOW that No Matter What you will end it the moment you get that second voicemail...and stay true to yourself. You're all you've got. )ne day you will see that is not scary.
@Lori Nope, not at all. Just not expecting it to actually happen, working on what I can, and fully expecting imperfection :) We can but move forward one moment at a time. P.S. I started The Happy Place on Kindle last night
How about "everyone must recognize and follow their intuition"?
If we had that, it would lead to the eradication of a lot of the "bad" stuff...but sometimes we need bad stuff for contrast. This isn't utopia, it's Earth, right?!
Lori, Oh I so love to read, and I think over the summer when things slow down a lot I will get back into my overloaded Kindle as the boys are swimming or boxing or what have you. I have only been reading nonfiction for the last few years but like Mark, most of my reading is done online. I used to never be without a fiction book in hand - I like the physical books much more than Kindle. Lately I've mainly just been reading to the kids every night so I'm sorry I don't have anything fantastic to recommend. I will take you up on the book club offer though - right up my alley and you know I'll be having an opinion on that topic, one way or the other!
Stan, I love it! That potato looks nothing like you, whatsoever.
Thanks for giving me something to smile about on an otherwise unpleasant world day.
Jayme, I am now addicted to these Friday outings :)
Hi Lori, Like everyone else, it's one little bit at a time, every day, starting with myself. There's no grand objective or ideal behind it, but if I can learn more, be kinder and more thoughtful, and get more out of my own way every day, then perhaps there is the ripple effect. Very few people are in a postion to have monumental, world-changing lives, but imagine what actually would happen to the world if each of us simply did our one little part. That's billions of people just trying to move slightly forward.
Hi Lori and Adrienne, I don't claim to know the answer to this but I'll tell you what I have heard in my intuitive practice and maybe it will help?
It's similar to what Bern said, really.
We come to this Earth born into a particular life, family, part of the world, and circumstances that are for our soul's growth. From a soul perspective, there are certain things we agree ahead of time to learn. We also agree to meet up with certain people and do certain things, as part of our soul contract. All of this is part of the lessons we plan to learn through our lifetime - basically, our reason for being here. Some people come pre-programmed to teach others and some come mainly to learn, and some come for a little of both.
When someone has a major illness, there is a reason for it. There is something they are learning and/or teaching through the experiences they have, or just the fact that they have an illness they need to deal with. Illness itself is not necessarily a "bad thing", it's maybe something the person has to encounter in order to fulfill whatever their mission is.
Having read about your Dad before on your blog Adrienne, I am guessing that he was a great example because he loved life and he loved you all so much. There was some reason his soul felt the best way for him to learn/teach whatever he came here to do happened to be through the particular illness or circumstances. It didn't stop him from fully embracing life though, right?
If you could talk to him now that he has passed he might say the reasons, but the main thing he would probably tell you is to remember the love and not to feel sorry for him, because he lived a wonderful life and loved so much, and that was enough for him, it was "exactly right."
Lori, I love your dream shift! That is wonderful.
All of my recurring dreams seem to have subsided and now the only theme I can tell you about is apocolyptic, natural disaster type dreams...tsunamis, tornados, earthquakes, etc. They always seem to coincide with either a natural disaster that happened in real life while I was sleeping, or a significant change in my life that is impending, so I already ususally know what they mean. It is fun to interpret dreams, though!
I am a huge supporter of Angela's work. She has a way of explaining, putting her finger RIGHT on the thing that was bugging you, and I really can't recommend her books enough either, especially to people who are new to trying to follow their intuition.
@Lori @Julie | A Clear Sign Yes, I noticed, and it DID cheer me up (which I sorely needed, because I came home to a goatastrophe and I was so upset I even blogged about it NOT on a Thursday!) I have had this set of Tarot cards for a thousand years, they pre-date my becoming an intuitive. I don't ever use them in readings, but I am just fond of them :)
Lori, that is the EXACT part of the song I always sing. Love that.
Right now I wish you had asked,"What are your least favorite things?" since I am fighting with this goat and seriously, he is on my list!
But since you didn't, I'll say...I'm with you all on the fresh sheets and the coffee. I don't really have any "things"...maybe my kids' photos. My wedding rings. A platinum necklace my husband bought me when we were dating. My tarot cards. My laptop. But really...it's the people. I'd like to keep them. Anything else can go if it needs to :)
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @Julie | A Clear Sign I know, they are gorgeous! I used to travel for a living and when I was done I decided I was staying put for a nice long while...it's been 18 years!! What was I thinking? I need to get the little guys a bit more grown and I will get them up in the air...
Hi Amber and Jayme, "Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” That's funny, that's exactly the way I look at it! I'd not seen it before. I love the Alaska photos, Amber. Every time I see them I think I want to travel. Today my husband left on a trip out of the country so it's like a double whammy - hey, maybe I should put "traveling" back on my list of happy. Have a great weekend ladies!
@Lori Maybe! I don't really think we have "just one" as in a "soul mate" but maybe some people do. For the most part it seems like there are a lot of possibilities! Sort of fascinating how we all have this theme running today of "shouldn't have been there", and most or all of us before we even knew what intuition meant!
I do believe in destiny but not in this context. I would call this more like "one in a series of synchronistic opportunities" for which you made a decision to move forward. Like Ali said below, sometimes you get multiple chances to meet someone who could become important in your life. I think "destiny" is reserved for very few life events, but certainly your marriage partner could be one of them!
Funny enough, I met my husband in a similar "wasn't supposed to be there" way. I may have told you this one before? He was online at work checking the hurricane status for a big one about to hit Antigua (back in the days of dial up and AOL being a new thing, about 17, 18 years ago). I was on AOL in a Florida chat room because I had thrown out my back and couldn;t go to the gym like I ordinarily would have. My Dad called and knocked us offline, and right away I hung up with Dad and went back online, something told me this person was "important." We met once, and then he was in Antigua for a month cleaning up from the storm...amazingly, we did get in contact again and the rest, as they say, is history :)
My son woke up and said he found a $10,000 bill under his pillow. Now THAT would be an awesome truth but sadly it was just an April Fool :)
Fantastic! Yes, that's exactly where we all find ourselves, after all. It was nice there for a while, thinking maybe someone else held the answers but (good news/bad news?) it's all within you. Happy 50th. Coming up behind you so make a good example for me!
Sandi, Only people who have a rebel archetype and it really stands out as a major life theme are the ones I'd probably call "rebels." Based on the ideas above for what rebel means, it puts a different spin on it. That's more like being a nonconformist (yourself) because you're totally disinterested in what other people might think and completely engaged in what you feel. Maybe some people would consider me one on that basis because I write the blog I write. I will admit to saying exactly what I think, unless it invades someone else's privacy, and saying."The hell with it," in regular life often. I would definitely not consider myself a rebel, though! I wouldn't even know what to rebel against anymore unless we're talking popular culture, unfairness, inequality... OK yeah I see your point :)