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Aw! I saw it coming, but then, I'm a mom!

14 hours, 48 minutes ago on Gin and Topics: Happy Owls, Happy Artists, and Happy Moms

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It’s official! Spin Sucks is now available!

Congratulations Gini! I'm very happy for you! :-)

14 hours, 58 minutes ago on Spin Sucks (the Book) is Here!

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Thanks for this Josh! It looks like it will add a whole new dimension to commenting! Can't wait to start using it!

Lori

14 hours, 58 minutes ago on WIll Livefyre Sidenotes Save Blog Commenting?

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This looks great! I'm excited to begin using it!

14 hours, 59 minutes ago on Say Hello to Sidenotes

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@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes So true Josh! :-)

1 day, 6 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@Susan Ekins Those are great small wins, and not so small in my books! Eye emergencies are scary - good that you could be there for your daughter.

Catalogue cards! I remember those! I wonder if I remember how to use them now :o I bet you have to teach the parishioners how to use them? Especially the younger ones who have never seen them!

1 day, 19 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@JoyChristin Hi Joy! I was thinking just that today - that joy helps to manifest more joy (just wrote a draft about that ;-)


Yes, as I waited for a long drive-around the road washed out with recent flooding not far from here, I was focusing on good things. So we have to tack an extra 15-20 minutes on each drive to town? We can still get there and we can count many more blessings. Too easy to be distracted by the negative things, isn't it? The brain tends to pay more attention to those and we tend to follow the focus of our brains (sort of an autopilot) when we're not consciously thinking about it. So the brain notices what is not finished and we have to say, no, this is finished and it is good! With enough of this insistence, do you think we can change that autopilot? How hard was it for you to learn to celebrate each moment?

2 days, 9 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@eddyfy_ Blogging certainly can teach us a lot about life, can't it! And I don't mean because we teach what we need to learn, but that the efforts of making something of the blog can be very challenging and I suspect what worked for the present-day A-listers doesn't necessarily work today because the blogosphere has changed so much so quickly!


I go through this myself. Not long ago I struggled with this and considered stopping the blog but now I've just completely rebuilt it with a new theme. What made the difference for me was the galvanizing of my goal (one of them) to teach people about community building and this is the forum for that.


I, too, am in a hurry at times. I find it so valuable to slow myself down and remember to be happy. That's the door through which all the wonderful things flow in.

2 days, 13 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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Aw Barbara! You responded to the challenge! Isn't it fun! Please go and post this link in the comments of that post so others can find it.

I love how you talk about the outer shell and the inner person! Does it seem sometimes that we don't have the answer to questions we haven't yet asked. Sounds foolish, doesn't it; how could we? But it makes me wonder about how many more questions we could be asking, how much more we could learn!


My favourite part: "I have hundreds of ideas and dreams, some of them are very unrealistic but I want to publish a book before I turn 100."

 

 XOX Hang in there!

Lori

2 days, 13 hours ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@Art of Breaking Out Hi Craig! It is amazing what you can accomplish one small win at a time :-)


How did you come to know how to do this? Was it an experience you had or something you learned and applied?

2 days, 14 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@Tope Fabusola Hi Tope! It's funny how themes go around! It's like we're all connected :o


How do you celebrate your small wins? Do you ever get impatient for the destination?

2 days, 14 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@Susan Ekins Hi Susan! The small wins add up to the big ones :-)

How are things in your world? Lots of small wins to celebrate?

2 days, 16 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@eddyfy_ Hi Eddy! I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this.To be fair, the final destination is why we take all those steps but it's more fun when we can enjoy those steps.


You're right; doing it myself provided more satisfaction. I wasn't in a hurry, either, so that went in my favour. I think that is one of the keys - patience. I wonder if the "are we there yet" attitude is more connected to a lack of patience than an inability to enjoy the process. What do you think?

2 days, 16 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@Steve_Rice Thanks Steve - it's a whole new theme with more bells and whistles :-) It wasn't a hassle to do, either, but a lot of fun! It just took a while to resize all those photos!


Yes, funny how you can learn a thing by doing it and recognize that in retrospect. It makes me wonder how much we could be learning but are missing. ;-)

3 days, 8 hours ago on Do You Celebrate Small Wins?

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@rshin I don't know either Rula. I think we can only do the best we can do until we learn something better. Maybe by trying to do different things, we can get closer to that. When you find an answer, let us know, ok?

5 days, 9 hours ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@SocialMediaDDS No, thank YOU Claudia for sharing who you are! I do love the way you call it your "love circle". :-o and how you love the thought of yoga rather than actually doing it! LOL I, too, love the thought of doing yoga but all I do is think about it!

It occurs to me as I read that you're an introspective person and so you know yourself well. I wonder if people who aren't introspective, or if at times we have non-introspective (is that a thing?) phases do not know themselves as well? In either case, when you're a part of a true community, you do get to know everyone in the group - including yourself :-) I wish you had more time to join the Hangouts - we're doing some community-building over there!

Thanks for popping up on the porch. I hope it's sunny where you are (it's not here) and that you enjoyed your tea. <3

6 days, 12 hours ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@rshin Ah, so much here got me thinking Rula! I love the perspective of sympathy as a "second hand sadness." So true. We care but we don't dare to come to close, or we don't want to. I agree, both states are related to ones's self. We can't NOT relate things to ourselves, can we? 

I wrote on another post, yesterday, that I am happiest when everyone is on the dance floor. I think you, too, are that way. You speak of it in relation to witnessing another's pain. We want to make it end because it is too hard to watch. Nothing wrong with that, though. It's very hard to witness someone's suffering. I don't know if my grief makes me more or less able to bring comfort. When I see someone's pain I remember so well the hopelessness of mine in the earliest days, and how long those early days last.


It takes guts to see that what we do is not for the reasons we'd like to believe but at least then we know. We can do something different. No one is judging us -- but us.

1 week, 1 day ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@rshin Hi Rula!  I guess it doesn't matter whether we fail or succeed, does it, unless we say it does ;-)

It's about the trying. What fun would life be if we had all the answers? I don't know. Do you?


And my "friend" is the largest pine on our property. We call her "the Grandmother" after Pocahontas ;-)

1 week, 1 day ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@eddyfy_ Hi Eddy! Thanks for taking part in this exercise. I know it's a hard question to answer, but that's what makes it fun, right? Imagine if it were simple, how utterly un-complex we would be LOL


The madness does continue, doesn't it, even when we know it's there (which should dispel it, no?) The part that strikes me about this madness is that we judge ourselves by judging others judgements of us when we don't even know what anyone is thinking of us. It is us, only us! I remember reading a cool quote about this, something like, don't worry about what others are thinking about you - they're really not thinking about you all that much.


Knowing is one thing but really knowing, is another. Know what I mean?

1 week, 1 day ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@saramac Thanks for being so quick to write a response! Fun - and challenging - isn't it? I love it Sara! The words, the emotion, the picture <3

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@Steve_Rice Great Steve! I look forward to it! Make sure you post it here! :-)

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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Hi Josh,

I do believe words are important. They are our most-often method of communicating - anything! It's funny that we grew up with the sticks and stones cry - it was so inaccurate. Our worlds are built with the words which define us and so much damage was done to us by children when we were children ourselves.

Lori


1 week, 2 days ago on Choose Your Words With Care

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@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes LOL, seems you chose those words with care Josh! I like the succinctness of your response. :-) Now I am going to see which words you choose on your post.

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@Vidya Sury It's funny you noticed that this is the 250th post. When Alex died I had just published my 150th post and for some reason I always noticed, then, the post number. It was as if the were a line there - the posts published while he was with us and the  ones published after he died. It's hard to believe that this is 100 posts since then.

I look forward to your reply - be sure to put the link to your post here! Man you are an abundant writer Vidya! And blessed, yes :-)

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@amacaluso29 Still, I'm going to look more closely when I look in the mirror from now on ;-) Fingers crossed!

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@amacaluso29 my greatest strength and yet my kryptonite as well! :o

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@amacaluso29 Are you sure there was nothing funny on your Cheereos!? ;-) No, seriously, I want that stuff so I can have that experience!!! How cool is that! And how wonderful that it made you laugh! It reminds me of something I read of Carl Jung when he described returning from a near death/out of body experiences. He said it was all so strange!

Did you have any followups on that experience? Did you try to have it again or question it?


Nevermind the Cheereos sprinkles - just mail me that mirror!


1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@Reba Linker That's a beautiful post Reba! I love the Morning Glory flowers. We had them in our yard for the first time last summer and you're right  - they are like a miracle!


Aren't we all like miracles, if we could only see that. Thanks so much for sharing. Another cup of tea?

:-)

Lori


P.S. I haven't mastered the Doumbek -  yet! But my heart still dances to it. Is your friend Lebanese?

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@saramac Hi Sara! I'm so glad you're going to participate (so good to see you on the porch - can I pour you a cup of tea?)


Please come back and reply here with the link once you finish, or if you don't put it on your blog, just paste it all here :-)


XOX

Lori

1 week, 2 days ago on Do You Know Who You Are?

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@uncommonchick Hi Kesha! The trick is to develop the habit of catching yourself when your eyes go downward :-) And I've noticed that upon awakening, our eyes, while closed, are naturally in that position. Wake up - LOOK up LOL How complex are we human beings!


It's nice to see you on the porch Kesha!

1 week, 3 days ago on Alegria

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@Joseph DabonHi Joseph,

Welcome to Life, for instance! Sorry I am so late in responding to you - your comment seems to have gotten lost until just now :o

Yes, to be one with the person you are empathizing with. You believe it is easier to empathize with people we care about? I wonder if that's because we feel, or imagine we do, how they feel? We hate to see anyone in pain, particularly people with whom we have a relationship.


1 week, 4 days ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@Melissa It's hard to be an empathetic person :-) Sometimes you don't know whose feelings you're feeling! It's great that you found a positive way to process that Melissa. It's enough to deal with your own emotions when you know they are theirs LOL


Welcome to Life, for instance!

1 week, 4 days ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@wonderoftech I've never been in NYC but I can imagine how it is different there. That experience must have been scary for you. Yikes! So do you think it's a "When in Rome" thing? And how do we know what the natives do? We have to check it out at each new place? Can't we change it? Can't we "give a little love"? ;-)

2 weeks ago on Do You Give a Little Love?

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@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Did you find it any different in Texas than in LA Josh?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Do You Give a Little Love?

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@glynisj I wonder if it is a "When in Rome" thing, that we catch on to the way people around us act and act the same. I know mu daughter saw this clearly when she was flying in from Ottawa (big city) to Sydney (small town.) When she got on the plane in Ottawa she did what everyone else was doing, tended to her stuff and didn't speak to the people around her. She didn't even realize how much she had adapted to the big city until she got on the final flight to Sydney where people were talking to one another, and to her asking her where she was from and who her family was in Sydney.


The video suggests we can change things. I wonder if we can. What do you think?

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Do You Give a Little Love?

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@glynisj Hi Glynis,

I don't know the right of wrong of it (which is why I love to have discussions on it!) but I know that one of the most comforting, and empathetic, response I received when my son died was when my cousin called from out west and said, "I don't know what to say! I don't know what to say!" In that I could feel support and caring. Strange? In fact, I don't believe anyone ever really knows how we feel - about anything. We're too unique for that. We may have glimpses of it but we see what we need to see. I think one of our deepest needs is to be understood, however, and never is that need so great as when we are facing terrible loss. 


Am I wrong? ;-)

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@JacquelineSmithFahey It's hard to be there for someone who is hurting. It must be hard for you to be around so many who are. Maybe empathy is a learned skill? It sounds cold when you put it that way. I'm remembering a quote I found years ago, "If you do not understand my silence, you will not understand my words." Seems we need to cultivate the skill of understanding the silence, and holding them in it, when someone is in pain.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Empathy or Sympathy; Do You Give What’s Needed?

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@blogaks Oh dear - eyesight loss?! You are alright now, though, right? 

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Do You Run From Your Feelings?

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@blogaks Hi Ashvini! Your sickness changed something for you? Did you make a connection between the illness and feelings you had been ignoring?

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Do You Run From Your Feelings?

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@Late_Bloomers Hi Barbara! What a horrible experience for your mother! And for you! How wonderful that sharing it on Facebook gave you support, comfort and release. (Facebook is like a perpetual friend, no, always there asking "What's on your mind?")

Will you be able to recover the lost money? Is your mom okay?



2 weeks, 3 days ago on Do You Run From Your Feelings?

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@Late_Bloomers LOL! Good morning Barbara! I am enjoying my coffee now as I catch up on my email! 

We eat as many as we can fresh, freeze some in jars to use later with shortcake and make a bit of freezer jam. We try to preserve our garden produce, and we do eat out of those preserves much of the winter, but fresh is always so much better, wouldn't you agree?

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Temptation And Strawberry Delight

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Barbara you make everything look so good! I have not tried Chia seeds. 

We have strawberries in our garden (when we have a garden ;-) I know what you mean by waiting until they are in season - and I know what chemicals are in ours (none!)

Keep up the inspiring posts Mmmmm..... :-)

Lori

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Temptation And Strawberry Delight

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" Impatience is fear." I had never thought of it that way before Alice!Something to think about! :-)

Lori

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Steer, Not Control

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Isn't it fun having to write posts like this explaining our absence from the blogosphere!? I think this means we've paid our dues, are no longer rookies (not that you have been for a very long time.) We've faced the storm and survived.

Damn, that was fun. ;-)


2 weeks, 6 days ago on The Long & Winding Road of Web Hosting

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@wonderoftechSo true Carolyn, "
Your gut can often tell you more than your brain can." It's funny how we separate our feelings from our gut response when they are the same thing. Maybe it feels more socially perceptible now to pay attention to our gut feeling but the feelings themselves are still not so honored. We need to put it all together :-)


So how do you handle out-of-sync feelings? How do you get their messages?

3 weeks ago on Do You Run From Your Feelings?

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@martyinmaui Hi Marty! So the feelings you work on are those of being hard on yourself. It's not easy being a perfectionist. That's a feeling to explore, isn't it? Why do I feel I need to get everything right all the time? Escaping into nature is a great approach. There is nothing like the rhythms of nature to calm and sooth emotions which might need that approach.  I have used laughter to bolster my state of mind - I watch a sit com - and it helps. I bet just being around your dog helps too!

3 weeks ago on Do You Run From Your Feelings?

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@rshin Yes, you're right. I don't know if you read my post Alegria, but in it I share how I found a way to take my thoughts and reign them in. Mind you, it was nearly two years after Alex died so the wound was not so raw but it did help me to make a right-angle turn, for which I am grateful.

I'm also grateful you are returning to blogging. :-) Just remember to update your Lifefyre ID with that new URL! And keep me posted!

3 weeks ago on Can You Have Too Many Passions?

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@rshin I believe acting on our passions is what gives life meaning. When we lost our son I knew I had to move in the direction of a passion - something to live for, something to give me something that made me want to stay here. That may sound strange because I have my daughter and my husband still. I read an interview of John Travolta who lost an adult child. He said, "I didn't know if I was going to make it." and I completely resonated with that. I felt the same and having a passion to plug into was huge in helping me to make it.

That said, I know what you mean when you wonder why you don't write. I overcome that intellectual obstacle by just writing knowing I'm a far better editor than writer ;-) I put my thoughts down and tackle it a little at a time, trying not to edit as I go. I leave that for another day. In this way, tiny step by tiny step, I am able to approach a big topic and start writing. I imagine it must be challenging for you to boil down your topic and begin. You have so many eloquent thoughts and questions about life. Are you still blogging? Do you have a topic? I'm love to read anything you'd write  Rula :-) 

(Sidenote: you may want to check the link in your Livefyre Profile and make a change to it! Access it here; http://www.livefyre.com/profile/122105/ )

3 weeks ago on Can You Have Too Many Passions?

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@rshin Hi Rula! It has been a while! So good to see you on the porch! 

I love your questions! I like where you go with this. In fact as I was reading I was moving in the same direction. Could it be that a passion is just who we are?  As J. Krishnamurt said, we do what we are so the things we are most are the things we are most passionate about. 


I don't know if we can cultivate a passion. Maybe we just discover it more and more as we discover who we are. I was surprised to discover I have a few passions. I wanted to boil them down to one thing but it's not that easy nor is it necessary. It's fun to have, as @ShahShikhshasaid, many different things to be passionate about. For instance, my first book is about happiness and emotional healing. My second book will be completely different and yet still about something I feel passionate about and the third (already brewing in my mind) is about yet another topic. That's fun and it keeps life interesting!


Do you believe life should be meaningful Rula? What is one thing you would consider to be your passion?

3 weeks ago on Can You Have Too Many Passions?

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@ShahShikhsha Hi Shah! Just popping in here to welcome you to Life, for instance! I am with you on the getting bored part :-) If you can move from one passion to another it keeps things interesting.  I have many passions too. It's just who I am!

3 weeks ago on Can You Have Too Many Passions?

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