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@holly Hi Holly! Welcome to Life, for instance. I visited the post you linked to - very interesting and relevant to our times. It IS a good thing you questioned your thoughts about all the bad news.


By the way, you can put your blog and other details in a Livefyre Profile if you set one up to comment here and on other blogs that use Livefyre. Just select that option next time and you can fill in the details. That way people can follow you back to your place. :-)

3 days, 6 hours ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

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@Lea Bullen I meant it is easier for me to see a situation clearly (and offer advice) when it is someone else who is dealing with an issue. When it is me who has the problem it just takes me longer to remember all that wonderful advice I've given to others! LOL

3 days, 6 hours ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Lea Bullen Good for you Lea! I often find it easier to give the advice than take it :o  But with each new experience we learn the truth of it, of how life goes on.

3 days, 6 hours ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Lea Bullen Hi Lea! You focused on impermanence, this too shall pass. :) And on the point fact that there was a purpose to the problem. That's a tough one to swallow when the problem is yours! Do you find it easy to tell yourself the same things you tell a friend?

3 days, 8 hours ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Late_Bloomers You lived in Israel? I didn't know that! 

I like your organized way of using a journal. Writing down an outlook for the new month is like setting intentions for it. I bet that's a powerful practice!

1 week, 4 days ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Late_Bloomers So our parents (or some gift-giver) tried to start us on the healthy habit of self-reflection! :-) I think I may have that first diary. I remember looking into it a while back. Nothing very earth-shattering between its covers LOL


It's it nice to start a brand new journal? For me it has to be just right - the spacing of the lines, the way it stays open, the cover and a bonus to have a ribboned bookmark. I never thought of adding pictures to it.


Funny how you wondered how you would fill the pages of that first journal. I bet it is different for you now.

1 week, 4 days ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Steve_Rice HI Steve! Byron Katie has some wonderful videos out there, doesn't she! It takes a bit of a stretch to accept some of what she says. I'm always surprised at how she helps someone see things in their life in a new way.

It's "work" well worth doing.

1 week, 5 days ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

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@Kara Lane LOL No, they don't :-)

1 week, 5 days ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Kara Lane Hi Kara! Welcome to the LFI porch! My first diary had a little key too! Was yours a five-year diary with very narrow lines and small space to write about each day? I remember how bad I was at the practice when I started. Often I would backtrack and write things like "Paino" on the day of my lesson or "I forget" LOL


When you talk about ocean sounds and sunsets you remind my of my recent vacation. I spent each early morning hour on the shore and with my daughter and husband we caught most sunsets. We are luck at that location for the sun sets over the water. It rises over the mountains behind making the sunrise not as spectacular but peaceful nonetheless. How amazing it would be to live there all year round. Do you think one would tire of sunrises and sunsets on the shore?



2 weeks ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Becca Thomason LOL, it's like receiving a compliment - not so easy is it?  ;-)

2 weeks ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

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@Becca Thomason No, you're not alone in this. Is it because we were taught as children not to be selfish or greedy? Why else should it be so hard to receive and so easy to give.  I know I need to learn to just say Thank You. 

Becca, have you ever accepted someone's generousity because you knew it was making them feel good to give you something even though it was hard for you to receive it?

2 weeks ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

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What a beautiful tribute Barbara! I love the portrait you painted of your mother. And a rainbow on the day you spread her ashes <3

I love that she made jigsaw puzzles and so many more hobbies and pursuits (sounds like someone else I know in Basel!)

A big hug to you Barbara!

Lori

2 weeks ago on 99 Things My Mum Loved

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@HamishMurray Do you think it would be boring after a while Hamish? Don't you ever long for it, even temporarily?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Would You Like to Live in a Perfect World?

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@rshin Hi Rula, In answer to your question, "is this what you actually believe Lori, that anticipation can be used as a power of suggestion that can override deep rooted beliefs? Or is this what you are trying or wanting to believe?" it is what I'm suggesting, proposing for further exploration. I do believe anticipation can override our deepest beliefs, even if we make those beliefs conscious, even if we are aware that we are re-writing the beliefs in our subconscious. Yes, But it's something I've been playing with, something I'm suggesting you play with. And I'm not explaining it very clearly LOL but what I'm saying is "easy does it" play with it, just use your imagination; play with the energy. Anticipation, in my mind, is like a game but a powerful one, even when you know it's a game. It is not saddled with the serious nature of the energy involved in "thinking positive" There is a paradox in this: play and pretend and yet know there is power in this. Both at once. Do you think it's worth a try?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@rshin Wow! Did I contradict myself that much or was I that unclear with the sharing of my thoughts? :o  I stand by what I say, however. Where your faith is, there is your placebo effect.What I mean is that it is our beliefs which are the placebo. Our belief in the power of something i.e. a doctor, a pill, is what creates that effect. 

Anticipation, an act of imagination, does (I believe) have the power to override our deepest beliefs because it has the power to engage the emotions which can shift them. 

I don't mean to imply that a tool needed to be independent of an act of will, of using it.  If I know this axe will cut down that tree if I use it correctly then the knowing I am using the tool does not diminish the power of it. Similarly (I think!) if I know that anticipation--just simply dreaming of what I want and imagining it--can override my deeper beliefs about reality, then sure, it's a tool I'm using but I'm using it to change a belief while not even really entertaining that belief. I'm overlaying a different belief. Is this not a gentle shock to the system?


I see your response to my question and I raise you this: what if we could overrideour unconscious beliefs with the pure power of anticipation? I believe we can. Time to play with this idea :-)

Sure is a good conversation! Have some more tea!



2 weeks, 3 days ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@jaypeebalroop Yes, finding the time to reflect is essential Balroop! And I agree that sometime we see clearer after more time has passed. We seem to need a little distance for clarity. 

Have you formed a habit of reflecting on your day? How/when do you do it?

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@rshin Exactly Rula! The idea is that what matters is where you place your faith. If you believe the pill will be effective be powerful, drug or not, then you will heal. By the same token, if you believe that anticipation can manifest the results you want (because your faith is in your brain and your ability to manifest) then you will create the results you want. In the end, it comes down to what we believe, consciously and unconsciously. So many beliefs are locked in the unconscious mind. That's where it gets tricky, no? For instance, let's say I am taking part in a double-blind study and I believe that I have received the drug. And at the same time I have an unconscious belief that things just don't go well for me. Then that subconscious belief trumps the actual "power" of the drug. Same thing if we believe deep down that we are usually lucky or that things usually turn our alright. Unless we've accepted a belief that our luck is running out or that sometimes events surprise us, or that  our time is up, we will heal no matter what we receive in the study.  This, I believe, is where the double-blind studies run into inaccuracies. How deep do they go into the beliefs of the person? If they don't get to the bottom-line, present, unconscious beliefs, then the studies are next to worthless. 


Bottom line, if I believe deep down that I would heal if I walked on fire and then walked on fire, I'd probably spontaneously heal. We have not begun to fathom the depths and breadths of our power. Isn't it fun! :-)

2 weeks, 3 days ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@StaceyMJCouturierTait I agree Stacey! Reflection is a part of life. Looking up at the night sky is a wonderful way to do that. Have you passed on the habit of self-reflection to your daughters? How did you do that?

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@rshin Hi Rula! Sorry to be so slow in getting back to you. Still catching up after our vacation.

I hear what you're saying; anticipation which doesn't result in the outcome you anticipate can be painful. But I seem to have a different feeling about the placebo effect than you do. Placebo effect is belief; faith, knowing, expecting - and anticipating - an outcome. 

You ask,  "...how can one use it on one's self when the placebo only works if you actually believe that it's NOT a placebo?" I think we need to take it one step further and realize the power in it. The beauty of the placebo is that it teaches us we don't need to rely on drugs or sugar pills, but that the outcome of using them is more in our hands - and in our thinking - than in what we swallow. So if I know I have only a sugar pill but I also know the power behind the sugar pill/placebo is the anticipation of having a healing, then my relaxation response kicks in and then the body does what they body does when it is not stressed. It begins to heal.


Applying it to manifesting things in life other than healings seems to make sense to me because it is easier to daydream about an outcome than to "Think Positive", at least in my mind.


Did I swat that fly in the soup? Augh - I mean did I get it out and let it fly away?

2 weeks, 6 days ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@jaypeebalroop Thanks Balroop. 

The warning is Chopra's - it makes sense, though doesn't it. No point in trying to spam the law, giving just a little and hoping for a lot.


You heard this when you were growing up? There really needs to be a new kind of parenting book with the important things, like this, in it.

Do you find it easier to give than to receive? Do you strive to keep that in balance?

1 month, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

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Thanks Kaarina! It's good to notice what you've received and to be grateful for it :-)

1 month, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

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@Rileyhar Thanks RIley! Did you go anywhere interesting this summer?

1 month, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

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@Lynn Lane Welcome to Life, for instance Lynn! I haven't read the book yet either, but maybe I should! :o


Have you ever had occasion to prevail in your life, and if so, how did you do it?

1 month, 1 week ago on Will You Prevail?

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@jaypeebalroop Hi Balroop! 

The imagination joining with anticipation is probably what gives it such power. They say the mind can't tell the difference between something "real" and something imagined. Seems this power - to anticipate what we want even while it does not exist- is a truly untapped incredible resource. Children know how to use their imaginations well, which makes it easy for them to heal themselves, given guidance in mental imagery.

For some reason, while reading what you say here I had a thought: what if in our darkest hour we could say, Wait a minute! What do I want and how would that feel?  and by doing that could turn things around?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@Sabrina Bolin Hi Sabrina! I do love it when that happens. I haven't gotten over to your place yet to see what's up over there but I will.

I love your How To for Anticipation harnessing: 1) dream big about the possibility 2) practice presence 3)  release attachment to the outcome. Very cool! And as with most things in life, balance is the key :-) Thanks for this. See you over at your place soon!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

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@Vishnu's Virtues Hi Vishnu,

Navigating through and embracing difficult changes in life is "the primary lesson we are here to learn in life." Seems if we mastered that one and learned to flow life would be easier--even during times when it is hard. I too resist change, and conversely I get bored if things stay the same for too long. What a confusing message I'm sending out to the Universe ;-) I agree with you "being ok with change seems to be a great life skill."  How did you learn to be okay with change?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Will You Prevail?

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@jaklinbadr2013 Hi! If you like, put your links in your Livefyre profile. If you put them here in the text, they will be deleted but they are fine in the Livefyre profile. Add yours here:
http://www.livefyre.com/profile/53586470/

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Happy Place

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@Vidya Sury Hi Vidya! Yes, even though you know death is near it still comes as a shock. It was this way when my mother died. The reality of the loss if difficult to imagine before you experience it. And yet you say you hear her talking to you. I subscribe to the belief that they are not really gone, that they exist on a level we can't quite reach, but that they are alive -- and here. This is why (I believe) you hear her voice. I hear Alex's voice too.


I think any book you write would be wonderful! Sharing in a book how you have prevailed would be a gift for the world.The worst part is believing you won't survive. But we can witness to the fact that you do.


Thank you for stopping by the porch :-) My heart feels good now too.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Will You Prevail?

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@speculationsimpressed Yay! :-) Do you have any secrets to share on how you do this?


1 month, 3 weeks ago on Will You Prevail?

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@ rachellavern That's beautiful Rachel! :-)

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Could This Be Your Superpower?

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@Sabrina Bolin I've seen her TED Talk Sabrina! Yes, it blew me away too. What an experience she had!

2 months ago on Could This Be Your Superpower?

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@Sabrina Bolin RIght back at you! I emailed your post to my Ipod so I can listen to the meditation at night as I am winding down for sleep :-) Hopefully tonight!


Bruce has a two-part program I started listening to. He really knows his stuff, doesn't he?

2 months ago on Could This Be Your Superpower?

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@Sabrina Bolin Hi Sabrina! You were powerful at a young age! And you've got something interesting going on now. I'm heading over to your place as soon as I have time to read through, but hypnotism fascinates me! See you over there later!

:-)

2 months ago on Could This Be Your Superpower?

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@jaypeebalroop Yes, @eddyfy_ really explains it well. But I am stubborn enough to believe we can at least begin by becoming aware of the judgments. That's as far as I've gotten for the first 2 days of the month. Even that makes a difference because it goes like this....judgment...I judged.... Hmmmmm..... and it goes a bit quiet :-)


Please put the link to your article. I'd like to see it and I'm sure others would too.

2 months ago on Do You Judge?

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Hey Josh,

I'll admit I don't wonder about those things :o I wonder about different things! Want to know? Ok, I'll tell you then! I address my TCP packages in calligraphy and that gives me time to imagine and wonder what it's like to live where they live, on that street, in that city, state etc. I wonder what their lives are like, what the neighbours are like, if they are happy. Strange eh? :-)


I do wonder about famous and rich people though now I think I know how they got to where they are. Determination, failure, failure, failure and more determination.

Lori

2 months ago on Do You Know The Backstory?

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@Carmelo Hi Carmello! I was thinking of you just the other day! Sorry to be slow in responding - I was out of town and off the grid!

You have a couple of great ways to mitigate the judgment which seems to be so natural to us! I love how you say it's amusing to notice yourself. Laughing at oneself - yeah! And it's so true - we are all the same - there but for the grace of God...for sure! So it is really ourselves we are judging LOL

What have you been up to Carmelo besides traveling? Are you still writing? Blogging? You have been away for some time and have been missed around this porch!

2 months ago on Do You Judge?

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@mshuttle I think no matter how you look at it, judging is not a great thing for anyone. I used to wonder about the quote "Judge not lest ye be judged" and wonder but now I know it's our projection that judges us. When we judge others we assume they are doing the same for us but if we didn't judge, maybe we wouldn't make that assumption.


We all make mistakes. This is a learning game and adding this challenge only makes it more fun for me!

Welcome to Life, for instance! :-)

2 months, 1 week ago on Do You Judge?

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@speculationsimpressed Such a good question Glynis! A judgment can rarely be made with enough information to make it a good judgment. I love the story Rula shared here: http://chronicleofalonesheep.com/eckharts-retreat-is-not-rulas-retreat/ It's such a great example of judging without all the information.


The thing that's motivating me is that when I am able to let go of my judgments, good or bad, I'm feeling more peaceful. I know you said that @eddyfy_ and that it could make me less ego-driven, or less in survival mode, but I could use more of that ;-)

2 months, 1 week ago on Do You Judge?

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@eddyfy_ Hi Eddy! Thanks for this explanation. I know we all resist the idea that judging is wrong or can be conditioned out of us but I see merits of this. Did you watch/listen to Deepak Chopra read how it fits into the first Spiritual Law? That's what convinced me to give it a go.

I am familiar with Jill Bolte Taylor's TED talk. The brain fascinates me too. But I think, as you do, there is a balance that can be achieved in the non-judgment area that's worth working towards.

2 months, 1 week ago on Do You Judge?

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@Late_Bloomers Hi Barbara! I'm after that inner silence too, and a lot of other benefits that come from the exercises (on the video).  I don't know how this is going to work but I'm going to work on it. 

It sounds like you've had success in quieting the judgment. Wow! Do you notice that the people with the inner quiet seem more peaceful? It's worth the effort (to me) to do the exercises even if two or more are combined. There's only so much free time to access for these! LOL

2 months, 1 week ago on Do You Judge?

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@Steve_Rice Hi Steve,

Yes, there are so many great teachers out there, probably because there are so many different ways to learn!  I Love Chopra's work and this one really caught my attention, especially when I tried the non-judgment. The other exercises are powerful too. For me, this law is about clearing the noise in my head. I think that would be well worth the work to get there.


We are conditioned to classify and rank. I wonder if that's the fear-based ego that has evolved this way. What if there's more than that, I wonder; what if there's something better? ;-)

2 months, 1 week ago on Do You Judge?

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@rshin @eddyfy_  Hi Rula! You stopped, or tried to stop texting but people don't answer their phones?!? I still have a land line and no cell phone (I don't need one and still think of a cell phone in the way our Canadian comic referred to it, as an electronic leash!) but I wonder if the day will come when I have to have one. I can remember when I resisted getting an email address !!!

Anyway, I love the "highlight reel" too! Ali, like you, has no problem showing the picture, warts and all (LOVED your post today!) 


You're right, I think, about social media being a tool in our hands and it being up to us to know how to use it and how to guide our children to do so. We have to evolve quickly enough to keep up with this. I wonder if people were always challenged, only we are finding it more difficult (are we whining?). I remember when our kids were small and we  didn't have cable and we didn't have a VCR. In fact, we wouldn't have had a TV if it hadn't been given to us as a gift. These things just weren't important to us. But fast forward to today and we have an online business. Out kids didn't suffer. They also didn't spend a lot of time watching TV ;-)  It's up to us to rise to the challenge and I believe we can do that.

How do you handle this with your children?

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@Lea Bullen Yes! No one would post something that put them in a bad light. So we all look good and poised and smart etc etc etc. It's a natural instinct to put yourself in a good light but we don't see what we don't see so when we see others in only a good light, we assume that's their lives.

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@jaypeebalroop  Hi Balroop! I see your point. I think bloggers have even more time to edit and make sure their message is positive. I don't think it's done in a deliberately deceiving way but just a part of the online persona which may not/probably doesn't represent reality but only the happiest part of it. We try to be uplifting and helpful. I know that when my son died I spoke of it so much that I was afraid, after a while, that people would avoid coming to this porch because it had become a sad place. But sadness was all I had in me so it's all that came out.


I think bloggers may be more or less excused from this because most of us have some sort of mission. And being positive is part of the means to that end. What do you think? Am I being too easy--on us? ;-)

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@AlliPolin "Gee my life is boring!" is a thought we've all had while looking at photos of someone's trip down south or to Europe, or perhaps hearing about their successes. So true Alli, we don't often share the bad stuff so the movie is all good, no crisis, no problems. Though you raise an interesting point. Is Facebook sharing like having a [public] gratitude journal? If it is, then that's good, right? Gratitude is a powerful emotion. But what of the other side of it - as we said - people who look into our lives and then look back at their own and feel less grateful!?


It's not really as black and white as it first appears. What I am wondering, thanks to the thoughts shared on the porch, is if social media sharing is a way to record our lives, whether or not anyone is watching, like storing photos on Instagram or Flickr, or news updates on Facebook or any of the many other platforms. Is it the modern equivalent of journaling or scrap booking? (And if it is, what happens if these platforms go away?)

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@eddyfy_ Hi Eddy! You share many of the thoughts I've had about social media. Capturing the moment rather than being in it seems like a silly idea. I remember my first trip to Europe where I was doing that. But I'm not sure there's not more to this part. I wonder if in putting these photos onto Facebook or Instagram we are not creating a running photo journal. Recently I was touring in the city where my daughter lives and she would capture images of us here and there and then, as we were driving to the next place, Instagram a photo. I can only imagine what it will be like to look back on these networks in twenty years.


I see what you're saying about the exchange rate between FB Likes and real compliments. We never really know what the Likes mean except that someone is watching. And you know if you're active on Facebook and you comment on many photos your notifications become filled with the replies, both yours and others. It can become cumbersome.


You say, "We care more about likes than about having experiences." That's where we can become addicted to these social networks, when we confuse the two. We need to be aware of what we're doing and why.

Without guidance, we let children roam freely in a virtual world whose reality is in question. I used to wonder how I would raise a child today in the social media realm and now I think I know I would use it as a teaching tool.  When our children were young we taught them that commercials played during cartoons were designed to entice children to want what they advertised. Just letting them know that removed a bit of the allure and made them more aware, more immune to the marketing. Could it be that this is what we need to do to help our children to understand this world? These are our social clue of today: just as we can tell a lot about people from their body language or manner of speech, we can learn about someone by watching what they share online.


And what about us? We're on our own. Like you did, breaking your addiction, getting tired of the constant tweeting, we need to figure this out, think about it, balance it. It's all teaching opportunities, even for us. As Anthony DeMellow said, "Awareness awareness awareness!"



2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@Lea Bullen Hi Lea! Yeah, that's the distorted part. Putting something out there and waiting for Likes...but what do the Likes mean? I think it really can become like an addiction. Once you get caught up in that and get a lot of likes on a post you kind of want them on the next one.

I like how you put it: "people definitely make things seem better online than they are in real life."  It's illusion, or can be. Are you the same online as offline? Do you find it hard to put out something that doesn't put you in your best light? (Does anyone?)

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@Rileyhar That's a good point Riley! Spontaneity must suffer when we can so easily edit what we say before we say it. And certainly we do edit out the warts ;-) Does this make you wonder, then, if we really can get to know someone online when we only see them there? Do we have to move the online interaction to a video context to do that?


I wonder, too, if some people find it easier to be silly and impulsive online than offline. Online the repercussions could be minimized, like is you told a joke online and nobody laughed, you wouldn't even know it!

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@speculationsimpressed It makes sense that we should experience more real life before jumping into a virtual one Glynis. Parents of today have a big challenge in that regard. And a lot of debriefing to do for kids who are online a lot. 

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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@speculationsimpressed  Hi Glynis! How are you!?

You like who you are offline better than who you are online? Isn't it funny how we are different online? I wonder why. Is it like a presentation, a public speech, where we prepare what we present beforehand?

You think young people are being adversely affected by social media. What can we do about that? Do you see any positive outcomes of young people spending so much time online?

2 months, 1 week ago on Is Your Online Life More Perfect than Your Offline One?

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