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@eddyfy_ We are always right in our own worlds! I remember learning that everyone is doing the best with what they know to get what they want. And so we manifest that, don't we. I'm with you on the idea that each generation helps the next one improve. Our children are the evolution of us just as we are the evolution of our parents. I believe as parents our jobs are not to just toss the young out of the nest but to throw them as long and far as we can so they can far exceed what we have done.


I feel the way you do about education too. We have much work to do.


Finally, I love this Eddy, "To understand that everyone lives in their own world. Then they can find a way to connect all these different worlds." 

I could not agree more. This is what my second book is about.


Going to look for the Tao of Physics, thanks! :-)

1 day, 5 hours ago on If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

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@eddyfy_ Hi Eddy! Okay okay, I agree with you. If there is any consciousness in the forest, the tree does make a sound :-)  (Sorry rocks and grass and plants, to have disregarded you :-)


You say, "We all create our own reality. You don't need to go into quantum physics for that." I wonder if quantum physics is HOW we create our own reality, the underlying mechanism for it. When I saw that movie I felt as if I'd found a missing piece in my theology of life. I had read about quantum physics before and was already taken by it but this movie gave visuals, particularly about the functioning of the brain, which is also fascinating to me.


The story of your father's love for you is an age-old story of parenthood, isn't it. When you are a parent and your child chooses, say,  to go off-world, you will understand your father even more than you do now because in a way you will have become him. I've been both the child and the mother so I speak from my own experience at least. The world continues to evolve away from what the last generation considers prudent and familiar and safe. You are both right, aren't you, each in your own reality.


And on the world stage, what are we to do? It's the personal play grown up and off into the world. Everyone believes they are right, that they have all the answers, not realizing that all they have are their own answers. Sigh! Trees are falling everywhere! What are we to do about that? I think we need to go even deeper for answers. 

1 day, 7 hours ago on If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

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@SocialMediaDDS Mine hurts too! I love "maybe it will spill over onto other people's realities..." Maybe that's HOW we change the world, even if we only change our own in the process.

1 day, 20 hours ago on If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

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@SocialMediaDDS Hi Claudia! So nice to see you here (may I pour you a cup of tea?) :-)

I hear what Tony is saying about the concern that we might not care about others if we knew we were dealing with projections. It makes me think about why nice people do nice things for nice people. I used to think if someone did something nice for me it was because I was nice, but I don't think that's the case. Sure, if I were a miserable person I might not garner such support, but I think if someone does something nice for someone else it is because THEY are a nice person, and not because I am.


The idea is that we are what we are and when you squeeze us, what comes out is what is inside (like lemons, you know ;-)


And we can't escape the fact, hologram or not, it is all very real to us. It's the only reality show in town LOL So to not care about others is to feel badly about ourselves. We don't want that! It's a lot to think about, isn't it.



2 days, 2 hours ago on If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

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@patweber We will have to try it and see :-)

2 days, 6 hours ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@patweber Hi Pat :-) I like how you group things by color!  The "outline" could actually be the ends of the puzzle. (I never use a very good outline :o ) Writing really is like a game, then, for you too! Tell me; do you think our writing would benefit by some time spent doing actual jigsaw puzzled? I use games to sharpen my strategic thinking (like Sudoku or Free Cell). I wonder if doing jigsaw puzzles affects the part of the brain we need for writing!

3 days, 2 hours ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@glynisj Hi Glynnis,

So your puzzle doesn't have straight edges. That does sound challenging. How do you fit the pieces together? Do you start in the middle? :o

5 days, 4 hours ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@blogaks Hi Ashvini! That's interesting! You created small pieces that you knew would fit together! Now you can add to them. Enjoying the process is the whole point, I'm beginning to think! Isn't it fun to craft a book!

5 days, 4 hours ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@Becca Thomason Hi Becca! This is interesting how you relate the analogy to your life process. I wonder if there is a correlation between the activity of doing a puzzle  and the way you make sense of events in your life. I find that when I do a puzzle it actually helps me to put things together! It's as if the action of placing pieces together has an affect on my brain, training it to know how to do this. I feel the same way about strategy games like Free Cell or Sudoku. I use these activities to affect the way I think and to learn to think more efficiently.


What analogy would you use to describe your process in life?

1 week ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@Late_Bloomers Barbara, as it often happens when I read what you say here, I am thinking that you should have written this post rather than I. I like what you added about turning up the pieces so you could see them and about the frustration when it seems no two pieces are coming together. I can relate to the obsession and the need to back away too.


I like the way you look at life.

1 week ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@Julie Barrett How interesting Julie! The faces of the people in your life comprising your puzzle. Your comment about death strikes me as I've just returned from my uncle's funeral and what was there but people, all the people he was important to. The final face of the puzzle?


Do you like the fact that you don't know how your picture will turn out (between now and your funeral, I mean ;-) Does it make life more interesting for you?

1 week ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@Vidya Sury That sounds like it's going to be wonderful Vidya! We all need to tell the stories, don't we. And how satisfying it feels when we can express it well, as you do.

1 week, 2 days ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@Vidya Sury Hi VIdya! I love what you added to the analogy! "we must leave that space for them so we may fill it with forgiveness or kindness or simply peace." So beautiful and so thought-provoking! I like the idea of a tapestry of scenes too, and of people. All the people who are important to us in some way, large or small, provides pieces of the puzzle of our lives.


You're doing NaNoWriMo! Brave girl! I don't think I'd handle that pressure well but you enjoy it! Good for you! I think I started this book late in the winter and if I get it out by next fall I'll be doing well. It seems to want to take a lot of time to percolate, even though it is already longer, much longer than The Happy Place. Maybe much of that length will not survive the final edits ;-)


What are you writing about? I always enjoy so much whatever you write. You have a beautiful way with words.

1 week, 2 days ago on Is Your Life like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

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@jaypeebalroop I like that Balroop! You catch the shoe! You turn things around, stop them mid-air! Good thinking! :-)

1 week, 3 days ago on Do You Wait for the Other Shoe to Drop?

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@Larry Lewis at the RU Hi Larry, Wow, you went through a lot and turned it all into something of great value! I like how you say, "Once we free ourselves of guilt, blame and generally feeling sorry for ourselves and instead be driven by our dreams, everything can change." Well said! So trusting your wings comes with experience (which you speak from) as well as the other things. Thanks for sharing these thoughts here!

1 week, 4 days ago on Do You Trust Your Wings?

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@Eddie de Jong I agree, Eddie, finding the balance is the key, that and knowing you can't always do it perfectly, much as you may try! You take immediate action and don't wallow in regrets. Another essential key to dealing with our unavoidable, perpetual state ofimperfection! ;-)

1 week, 5 days ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@holly Hi Holly!  I hear you. What you say sounds familiar and makes me think of just yesterday when the feeling we talk about was much stronger in me.  I believe it shifts with experience which comes in time. Do you think we need to focus more on the positive feelings that come from the success experiences and get them into long term memory and also quickly release the negative ones as temporary and fleeting? 


It relates, too, to what I wrote about here http://lifeforinstance.com/2014/08/28/how-to-deal-with-problems-gracefully/ and what Martin Seligman said. 


Welcome to Life,forinstance Holly! Hang in there :-)

1 week, 5 days ago on Do You Wait for the Other Shoe to Drop?

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@Lea Bullen Hi Lea! You try to catch the other shoe - I love that! :-) That's proactive thinking. You remind me of something I used to teach my children: If you have to make an assumption, make one that makes you feel good. Would that I could remember my own advice :o

1 week, 6 days ago on Do You Wait for the Other Shoe to Drop?

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@AlliPolin Hi Alli! "We tend to turn towards the dark..." Yikes. So true and such an incentive to question this. I remember reading in an article about driving safely that if you come upon the scene of an accident suddenly, to avoid becoming a part of it, look where you want to go because we always go in the direction we are looking. So turning towards the light...a simple solution. Too simple?

Surrounding yourself with others who can support that is a great idea. Thanks for sharing these brilliant thoughts Alli.


So the question have you ever waited for the other shoe to drop? Even though you know better now ;-)

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Do You Wait for the Other Shoe to Drop?

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@Becca Thomason Hi Becca! Thanks for this! The quote indicates that doubts are not a bad sign but perhaps a sign of wisdom? That puts a different spin on waiting for the other shoe to drop! 


Do you ever find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop?

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Do You Wait for the Other Shoe to Drop?

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@holly Hi Holly! That's an interesting distinction - perfection and excellence. It even feels different, doesn't it? You make a strong case for it (and a succinct one ;-)  I'm with you - excellence is a much better thing to strive for! If you miss, you'll at least be in the vicinity of it, right? Thanks for adding to this conversation Holly!

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@Harleena Singh Hi Harleena, It's funny how we nearly "confess" that we are perfectionists, as if it is a bad thing. ;-) Maybe we need to distinguish between perfectionism and obsessive compulsive disorder because I want to believe they are at two far-away points on a very long spectrum. LOL But I guess when things that aren't imperfect bother us, we know we need to let go at least a bit.


I also think it's a good thing to know yourself, and knowing where you are on the perfectionism spectrum (There! Now it IS a thing LOL) is a part of that. I know I am more peaceful inside when physical things in my environment are organized. For a little dose of that I can simply empty a messy drawer, organize the contents and put them all back. I don't do this as a matter of routine, but I know it makes me feel good when I do. Or when my desk is organized my mind is organized. It's as you say,"everything in place, at the right time, right order, and nothing misfires" Isn't everyone like that?


As for my book, I have been at it for months. I don't have a lot of time to write. Usually I find time on a Saturday when I am not harvesting and cooking from the garden or entertaining (of which I'm doing both today). But I find time where I can. Only problem is that I work better when I have a good chunk of time and those times these days are rare so I'm trying to find a way to work in less than perfect circumstances. :o


Glad you came by. Have a perfect--or imperfect--(whichever works best) weekend Harleena!

4 weeks ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@Ngobesing Romanus Hi Ngobesing and welcome to Life, for instance! You raise an important aspect of perfectionism, the reason we seek it. How can we break a habit, if I can call it that, without knowing why we developed the habit in the first place? You're saying that perfectionism is a part of our performance output, something that gives us praise--or not. So we are seeking it to create a reflection in the eyes of others that pleases us. This gives us a hint as to where this habit could have been formed, or should I more accurately say when. If parents instil this desire in children, which may not the only place it originates (surely some children take things more seriously, try harder to get it right? I speak from experience) then how do we, as parents, inspire a different response, or can we? Any ideas?

1 month ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@speculationsimpressed @glynisj I love the idea of visualizing the outcome. Some say that is the most important part and I believe it. For instance, it's a good idea to think about how you want something to feel before you set out to do it. I try to remember to do that, but I'm still learning.


Scrutinizing the outcome is part of the learning process. We try, we produce, we scrutinize, we correct. Would that we were aware of this at all times. Sometimes I find I'm just running and not taking enough time to think about things before I begin. :-)

1 month ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@glynisj Hi Glynis! So you're saying we should shoot for perfection but not be attached to the outcome. That makes a lot of sense to me. Though I bet it's not easy to do.  Though as a route to happiness, it sure beats the "I've-got-to-get-it-perfect" way. How do you set the bar high in your life? Do you ever put too much pressure on yourself in order to achieve the best?

1 month ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

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@Sabrina Bolin Ha ha Sabrina - a squirrel with his head in his hands worrying about the future :-) Seems in the natural world they don't overthink things like we do. But you know there is always something to break your fall which is just as valuable as trusting your wings, I think. Funny how long it takes to develop that confidence in life, though you have arrived at it much faster than I. Do you think this is something we can teach to our children, accelerate the process or at least guarantee it? Or do you think that experience is the only teacher? 

1 month ago on Do You Trust Your Wings?

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Cool new theme Josh!  And I like the summary of the past twenty years! It's hard to imagine how much has happened in this time!


My kids were older when I started blogging and they didn't ask me questions like your children did. I think they were a little amazed that I was writing and publishing a blog ( or was that just in my head!). I know they were some of my earliest supporters. I can still find the comments Alex left on my posts a couple of years ago, and treasure them.


I keep wondering if I'll run out of post ideas and tell myself that when I do, I'll know it's time to stop. It hasn't happened yet. I've got at least 2 half-formed book ideas to work with after I complete my second book. What kind of writer does that make me? I don't know but I'm enjoying it. :-)


One thing I do know; it's fun connecting with other bloggers/writers. That was an unexpected area of writing that I discovered since I joined the Blogosphere nearly four years ago!

Lori

1 month ago on What Kind Of Writer Are You?

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@Steve_Rice As you learn to soar :-) Yes, it come with experience, doesn't it? Do you think we can teach people to trust their wings? Do you think it's something we learn by looking back on our lives?  How are you learning to trust your wings Steve?

1 month ago on Do You Trust Your Wings?

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@blogaks What a wise response Ashvini! "We have only a choice about looking at them without any prejudices." Would that it were easy! How do you look at pain and grief without prejudice?

1 month, 1 week ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

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@EndGrind Hi Steve! Long time no see - welcome back to blogging! :-)

So you believe life is fair or unfair depending on how you reach to each situation? You say you've been a pessimist for some time. Do you think life made you a pessimist, and if it did, how is that fair LOL I agree that we can choose our attitude and our reactions. I think it's easier at times to do that than it is at other times. That's not fair either LOL

1 month, 1 week ago on Is Life Fair?

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Happy Blogaversary Gini! You are our senior member in the Blogosphere and you well deserve all your success :-)

Lori

1 month, 1 week ago on Happy Birthday, Spin Sucks!

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@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes It's a kid movie but also an adult movie. Maybe we should talk about it on a Hangout after everyone's seen it.

1 month, 1 week ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

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@Steve_Rice Hi Steve! I like this: "the greatest joy sometimes comes after the deepest disappointment."  So true. This is a perspective born of experience. I wonder if children, who might like to have Christmas every day, for instance, can have this perspective when they have yet to scale those mountains.

It's funny too that we say this but when we're in the middle of difficulties, we really don't enjoy them, do we? Maybe that is the next stage of the journey?

1 month, 1 week ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

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@blogaks So true Ashvini and so interestingly put: "We ask this question only because we can afford to ask." And when we do ask, we can come up with so many arguments for both sides of the question.

Do you ever struggle with this question or is it something you don't even bother to ask?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@eddyfy_ @rshin Imagine that Eddy! LOL :-)

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@rshin Hi Rula, You always get me thinking! I think I agree with you LOL Imagine that! "Comparison is the cause of pain" and that's what this idea of life-should-be-fair is all about. I wonder how children (like yours) come to this idea though. Do you have any idea where this idea is born in us?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@eddyfy_ wow Eddy! What a perspective on fairness, and after being robbed as you were :o I like this: "I make myself happy or sad, not life." You separate an omnipotent "Life" person from the equation, leaving a completely hands-off system of what is. (Not sure I explained that right). This way of looking at life is more empowering, even when you've been robbed. My sites were hacked last January, and my business site was down for 11 days. It really gave me pause.

So life is neither fair nor unfair, but humans have some work to do when they target one another with short-sightedness and out of "a wrong moral sense". 

So much more in this, but I'm on the tear! Be back later!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@Vishnu's Virtues I like this Vishnu! It's all up to us. Do you think that the question of the fairness of life of lack of it depends on how we look at life itself? You indicate it is about growing, building our wisdom and strength. That shifts the perspective away from fairness onto attitude.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@Sabrina Bolin Hi Sabrina! Thanks for this perspective on life. It seems to rise above the issue of fairness, rendering it meaningless. So, yes, you did answer the question! We all have the "fair opportunity to connect to our deepest self and grow" We just need to shift our perspective accordingly.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@speculationsimpressed I'll look for the movie, thanks. "It is usually just life happening and we need to deal with it" Yes. Do you find this is easier said than done at times? 

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@speculationsimpressed  Hi Glynis! You pose a very good question. Where do we get the idea that things should be fair (or unfair), because when we complain about, well anything I think, we're implying that, aren't we. Where do you think we get this idea, us spoiled brats?

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

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@blogaks Hi Ashvini! This book sounds interesting. "...a habit of surviving" I like that! I so agree with you that the first step is to take responsibility for the problems we're experiencing. You seem to handle problems with much Zen. How do you do it?

1 month, 3 weeks ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@holly Hi Holly! Welcome to Life, for instance. I visited the post you linked to - very interesting and relevant to our times. It IS a good thing you questioned your thoughts about all the bad news.


By the way, you can put your blog and other details in a Livefyre Profile if you set one up to comment here and on other blogs that use Livefyre. Just select that option next time and you can fill in the details. That way people can follow you back to your place. :-)

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

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@Lea Bullen I meant it is easier for me to see a situation clearly (and offer advice) when it is someone else who is dealing with an issue. When it is me who has the problem it just takes me longer to remember all that wonderful advice I've given to others! LOL

1 month, 3 weeks ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Lea Bullen Good for you Lea! I often find it easier to give the advice than take it :o  But with each new experience we learn the truth of it, of how life goes on.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Lea Bullen Hi Lea! You focused on impermanence, this too shall pass. :) And on the point fact that there was a purpose to the problem. That's a tough one to swallow when the problem is yours! Do you find it easy to tell yourself the same things you tell a friend?

1 month, 3 weeks ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

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@Late_Bloomers You lived in Israel? I didn't know that! 

I like your organized way of using a journal. Writing down an outlook for the new month is like setting intentions for it. I bet that's a powerful practice!

2 months ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Late_Bloomers So our parents (or some gift-giver) tried to start us on the healthy habit of self-reflection! :-) I think I may have that first diary. I remember looking into it a while back. Nothing very earth-shattering between its covers LOL


It's it nice to start a brand new journal? For me it has to be just right - the spacing of the lines, the way it stays open, the cover and a bonus to have a ribboned bookmark. I never thought of adding pictures to it.


Funny how you wondered how you would fill the pages of that first journal. I bet it is different for you now.

2 months ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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@Steve_Rice HI Steve! Byron Katie has some wonderful videos out there, doesn't she! It takes a bit of a stretch to accept some of what she says. I'm always surprised at how she helps someone see things in their life in a new way.

It's "work" well worth doing.

2 months ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

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@Kara Lane LOL No, they don't :-)

2 months ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

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