Livefyre Profile

Activity Stream

@holly Hi Holly! That's an interesting distinction - perfection and excellence. It even feels different, doesn't it? You make a strong case for it (and a succinct one ;-)  I'm with you - excellence is a much better thing to strive for! If you miss, you'll at least be in the vicinity of it, right? Thanks for adding to this conversation Holly!

2 days, 9 hours ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

Reply

@Harleena Singh Hi Harleena, It's funny how we nearly "confess" that we are perfectionists, as if it is a bad thing. ;-) Maybe we need to distinguish between perfectionism and obsessive compulsive disorder because I want to believe they are at two far-away points on a very long spectrum. LOL But I guess when things that aren't imperfect bother us, we know we need to let go at least a bit.


I also think it's a good thing to know yourself, and knowing where you are on the perfectionism spectrum (There! Now it IS a thing LOL) is a part of that. I know I am more peaceful inside when physical things in my environment are organized. For a little dose of that I can simply empty a messy drawer, organize the contents and put them all back. I don't do this as a matter of routine, but I know it makes me feel good when I do. Or when my desk is organized my mind is organized. It's as you say,"everything in place, at the right time, right order, and nothing misfires" Isn't everyone like that?


As for my book, I have been at it for months. I don't have a lot of time to write. Usually I find time on a Saturday when I am not harvesting and cooking from the garden or entertaining (of which I'm doing both today). But I find time where I can. Only problem is that I work better when I have a good chunk of time and those times these days are rare so I'm trying to find a way to work in less than perfect circumstances. :o


Glad you came by. Have a perfect--or imperfect--(whichever works best) weekend Harleena!

4 days, 22 hours ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

Reply

@Ngobesing Romanus Hi Ngobesing and welcome to Life, for instance! You raise an important aspect of perfectionism, the reason we seek it. How can we break a habit, if I can call it that, without knowing why we developed the habit in the first place? You're saying that perfectionism is a part of our performance output, something that gives us praise--or not. So we are seeking it to create a reflection in the eyes of others that pleases us. This gives us a hint as to where this habit could have been formed, or should I more accurately say when. If parents instil this desire in children, which may not the only place it originates (surely some children take things more seriously, try harder to get it right? I speak from experience) then how do we, as parents, inspire a different response, or can we? Any ideas?

6 days, 15 hours ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

Reply

@speculationsimpressed @glynisj I love the idea of visualizing the outcome. Some say that is the most important part and I believe it. For instance, it's a good idea to think about how you want something to feel before you set out to do it. I try to remember to do that, but I'm still learning.


Scrutinizing the outcome is part of the learning process. We try, we produce, we scrutinize, we correct. Would that we were aware of this at all times. Sometimes I find I'm just running and not taking enough time to think about things before I begin. :-)

6 days, 19 hours ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

Reply

@glynisj Hi Glynis! So you're saying we should shoot for perfection but not be attached to the outcome. That makes a lot of sense to me. Though I bet it's not easy to do.  Though as a route to happiness, it sure beats the "I've-got-to-get-it-perfect" way. How do you set the bar high in your life? Do you ever put too much pressure on yourself in order to achieve the best?

6 days, 19 hours ago on Do You Strive for Perfection?

Reply

@Sabrina Bolin Ha ha Sabrina - a squirrel with his head in his hands worrying about the future :-) Seems in the natural world they don't overthink things like we do. But you know there is always something to break your fall which is just as valuable as trusting your wings, I think. Funny how long it takes to develop that confidence in life, though you have arrived at it much faster than I. Do you think this is something we can teach to our children, accelerate the process or at least guarantee it? Or do you think that experience is the only teacher? 

1 week ago on Do You Trust Your Wings?

Reply

Cool new theme Josh!  And I like the summary of the past twenty years! It's hard to imagine how much has happened in this time!


My kids were older when I started blogging and they didn't ask me questions like your children did. I think they were a little amazed that I was writing and publishing a blog ( or was that just in my head!). I know they were some of my earliest supporters. I can still find the comments Alex left on my posts a couple of years ago, and treasure them.


I keep wondering if I'll run out of post ideas and tell myself that when I do, I'll know it's time to stop. It hasn't happened yet. I've got at least 2 half-formed book ideas to work with after I complete my second book. What kind of writer does that make me? I don't know but I'm enjoying it. :-)


One thing I do know; it's fun connecting with other bloggers/writers. That was an unexpected area of writing that I discovered since I joined the Blogosphere nearly four years ago!

Lori

1 week, 5 days ago on What Kind Of Writer Are You?

Reply

@Steve_Rice As you learn to soar :-) Yes, it come with experience, doesn't it? Do you think we can teach people to trust their wings? Do you think it's something we learn by looking back on our lives?  How are you learning to trust your wings Steve?

1 week, 6 days ago on Do You Trust Your Wings?

Reply

@blogaks What a wise response Ashvini! "We have only a choice about looking at them without any prejudices." Would that it were easy! How do you look at pain and grief without prejudice?

2 weeks ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

Reply

@EndGrind Hi Steve! Long time no see - welcome back to blogging! :-)

So you believe life is fair or unfair depending on how you reach to each situation? You say you've been a pessimist for some time. Do you think life made you a pessimist, and if it did, how is that fair LOL I agree that we can choose our attitude and our reactions. I think it's easier at times to do that than it is at other times. That's not fair either LOL

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

Happy Blogaversary Gini! You are our senior member in the Blogosphere and you well deserve all your success :-)

Lori

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Happy Birthday, Spin Sucks!

Reply

@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes It's a kid movie but also an adult movie. Maybe we should talk about it on a Hangout after everyone's seen it.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

Reply

@Steve_Rice Hi Steve! I like this: "the greatest joy sometimes comes after the deepest disappointment."  So true. This is a perspective born of experience. I wonder if children, who might like to have Christmas every day, for instance, can have this perspective when they have yet to scale those mountains.

It's funny too that we say this but when we're in the middle of difficulties, we really don't enjoy them, do we? Maybe that is the next stage of the journey?

2 weeks, 6 days ago on The Giver: a Thought-Provoking Perspective on Life

Reply

@blogaks So true Ashvini and so interestingly put: "We ask this question only because we can afford to ask." And when we do ask, we can come up with so many arguments for both sides of the question.

Do you ever struggle with this question or is it something you don't even bother to ask?

3 weeks ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@eddyfy_ @rshin Imagine that Eddy! LOL :-)

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@rshin Hi Rula, You always get me thinking! I think I agree with you LOL Imagine that! "Comparison is the cause of pain" and that's what this idea of life-should-be-fair is all about. I wonder how children (like yours) come to this idea though. Do you have any idea where this idea is born in us?

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@eddyfy_ wow Eddy! What a perspective on fairness, and after being robbed as you were :o I like this: "I make myself happy or sad, not life." You separate an omnipotent "Life" person from the equation, leaving a completely hands-off system of what is. (Not sure I explained that right). This way of looking at life is more empowering, even when you've been robbed. My sites were hacked last January, and my business site was down for 11 days. It really gave me pause.

So life is neither fair nor unfair, but humans have some work to do when they target one another with short-sightedness and out of "a wrong moral sense". 

So much more in this, but I'm on the tear! Be back later!

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@Vishnu's Virtues I like this Vishnu! It's all up to us. Do you think that the question of the fairness of life of lack of it depends on how we look at life itself? You indicate it is about growing, building our wisdom and strength. That shifts the perspective away from fairness onto attitude.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@Sabrina Bolin Hi Sabrina! Thanks for this perspective on life. It seems to rise above the issue of fairness, rendering it meaningless. So, yes, you did answer the question! We all have the "fair opportunity to connect to our deepest self and grow" We just need to shift our perspective accordingly.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@speculationsimpressed I'll look for the movie, thanks. "It is usually just life happening and we need to deal with it" Yes. Do you find this is easier said than done at times? 

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@speculationsimpressed  Hi Glynis! You pose a very good question. Where do we get the idea that things should be fair (or unfair), because when we complain about, well anything I think, we're implying that, aren't we. Where do you think we get this idea, us spoiled brats?

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Is Life Fair?

Reply

@blogaks Hi Ashvini! This book sounds interesting. "...a habit of surviving" I like that! I so agree with you that the first step is to take responsibility for the problems we're experiencing. You seem to handle problems with much Zen. How do you do it?

4 weeks ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

Reply

@holly Hi Holly! Welcome to Life, for instance. I visited the post you linked to - very interesting and relevant to our times. It IS a good thing you questioned your thoughts about all the bad news.


By the way, you can put your blog and other details in a Livefyre Profile if you set one up to comment here and on other blogs that use Livefyre. Just select that option next time and you can fill in the details. That way people can follow you back to your place. :-)

1 month ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

Reply

@Lea Bullen I meant it is easier for me to see a situation clearly (and offer advice) when it is someone else who is dealing with an issue. When it is me who has the problem it just takes me longer to remember all that wonderful advice I've given to others! LOL

1 month ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

Reply

@Lea Bullen Good for you Lea! I often find it easier to give the advice than take it :o  But with each new experience we learn the truth of it, of how life goes on.

1 month ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

Reply

@Lea Bullen Hi Lea! You focused on impermanence, this too shall pass. :) And on the point fact that there was a purpose to the problem. That's a tough one to swallow when the problem is yours! Do you find it easy to tell yourself the same things you tell a friend?

1 month ago on How to Deal With Problems Gracefully

Reply

@Late_Bloomers You lived in Israel? I didn't know that! 

I like your organized way of using a journal. Writing down an outlook for the new month is like setting intentions for it. I bet that's a powerful practice!

1 month, 1 week ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@Late_Bloomers So our parents (or some gift-giver) tried to start us on the healthy habit of self-reflection! :-) I think I may have that first diary. I remember looking into it a while back. Nothing very earth-shattering between its covers LOL


It's it nice to start a brand new journal? For me it has to be just right - the spacing of the lines, the way it stays open, the cover and a bonus to have a ribboned bookmark. I never thought of adding pictures to it.


Funny how you wondered how you would fill the pages of that first journal. I bet it is different for you now.

1 month, 1 week ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@Steve_Rice HI Steve! Byron Katie has some wonderful videos out there, doesn't she! It takes a bit of a stretch to accept some of what she says. I'm always surprised at how she helps someone see things in their life in a new way.

It's "work" well worth doing.

1 month, 1 week ago on Do You Believe Your Thoughts?

Reply

@Kara Lane LOL No, they don't :-)

1 month, 1 week ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@Kara Lane Hi Kara! Welcome to the LFI porch! My first diary had a little key too! Was yours a five-year diary with very narrow lines and small space to write about each day? I remember how bad I was at the practice when I started. Often I would backtrack and write things like "Paino" on the day of my lesson or "I forget" LOL


When you talk about ocean sounds and sunsets you remind my of my recent vacation. I spent each early morning hour on the shore and with my daughter and husband we caught most sunsets. We are luck at that location for the sun sets over the water. It rises over the mountains behind making the sunrise not as spectacular but peaceful nonetheless. How amazing it would be to live there all year round. Do you think one would tire of sunrises and sunsets on the shore?



1 month, 1 week ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@Becca Thomason LOL, it's like receiving a compliment - not so easy is it?  ;-)

1 month, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

Reply

@Becca Thomason No, you're not alone in this. Is it because we were taught as children not to be selfish or greedy? Why else should it be so hard to receive and so easy to give.  I know I need to learn to just say Thank You. 

Becca, have you ever accepted someone's generousity because you knew it was making them feel good to give you something even though it was hard for you to receive it?

1 month, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

Reply

What a beautiful tribute Barbara! I love the portrait you painted of your mother. And a rainbow on the day you spread her ashes <3

I love that she made jigsaw puzzles and so many more hobbies and pursuits (sounds like someone else I know in Basel!)

A big hug to you Barbara!

Lori

1 month, 1 week ago on 99 Things My Mum Loved

Reply

@HamishMurray Do you think it would be boring after a while Hamish? Don't you ever long for it, even temporarily?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Would You Like to Live in a Perfect World?

Reply

@rshin Hi Rula, In answer to your question, "is this what you actually believe Lori, that anticipation can be used as a power of suggestion that can override deep rooted beliefs? Or is this what you are trying or wanting to believe?" it is what I'm suggesting, proposing for further exploration. I do believe anticipation can override our deepest beliefs, even if we make those beliefs conscious, even if we are aware that we are re-writing the beliefs in our subconscious. Yes, But it's something I've been playing with, something I'm suggesting you play with. And I'm not explaining it very clearly LOL but what I'm saying is "easy does it" play with it, just use your imagination; play with the energy. Anticipation, in my mind, is like a game but a powerful one, even when you know it's a game. It is not saddled with the serious nature of the energy involved in "thinking positive" There is a paradox in this: play and pretend and yet know there is power in this. Both at once. Do you think it's worth a try?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@rshin Wow! Did I contradict myself that much or was I that unclear with the sharing of my thoughts? :o  I stand by what I say, however. Where your faith is, there is your placebo effect.What I mean is that it is our beliefs which are the placebo. Our belief in the power of something i.e. a doctor, a pill, is what creates that effect. 

Anticipation, an act of imagination, does (I believe) have the power to override our deepest beliefs because it has the power to engage the emotions which can shift them. 

I don't mean to imply that a tool needed to be independent of an act of will, of using it.  If I know this axe will cut down that tree if I use it correctly then the knowing I am using the tool does not diminish the power of it. Similarly (I think!) if I know that anticipation--just simply dreaming of what I want and imagining it--can override my deeper beliefs about reality, then sure, it's a tool I'm using but I'm using it to change a belief while not even really entertaining that belief. I'm overlaying a different belief. Is this not a gentle shock to the system?


I see your response to my question and I raise you this: what if we could overrideour unconscious beliefs with the pure power of anticipation? I believe we can. Time to play with this idea :-)

Sure is a good conversation! Have some more tea!



1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@jaypeebalroop Yes, finding the time to reflect is essential Balroop! And I agree that sometime we see clearer after more time has passed. We seem to need a little distance for clarity. 

Have you formed a habit of reflecting on your day? How/when do you do it?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@rshin Exactly Rula! The idea is that what matters is where you place your faith. If you believe the pill will be effective be powerful, drug or not, then you will heal. By the same token, if you believe that anticipation can manifest the results you want (because your faith is in your brain and your ability to manifest) then you will create the results you want. In the end, it comes down to what we believe, consciously and unconsciously. So many beliefs are locked in the unconscious mind. That's where it gets tricky, no? For instance, let's say I am taking part in a double-blind study and I believe that I have received the drug. And at the same time I have an unconscious belief that things just don't go well for me. Then that subconscious belief trumps the actual "power" of the drug. Same thing if we believe deep down that we are usually lucky or that things usually turn our alright. Unless we've accepted a belief that our luck is running out or that sometimes events surprise us, or that  our time is up, we will heal no matter what we receive in the study.  This, I believe, is where the double-blind studies run into inaccuracies. How deep do they go into the beliefs of the person? If they don't get to the bottom-line, present, unconscious beliefs, then the studies are next to worthless. 


Bottom line, if I believe deep down that I would heal if I walked on fire and then walked on fire, I'd probably spontaneously heal. We have not begun to fathom the depths and breadths of our power. Isn't it fun! :-)

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@StaceyMJCouturierTait I agree Stacey! Reflection is a part of life. Looking up at the night sky is a wonderful way to do that. Have you passed on the habit of self-reflection to your daughters? How did you do that?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Do You Reflect on Your Day?

Reply

@rshin Hi Rula! Sorry to be so slow in getting back to you. Still catching up after our vacation.

I hear what you're saying; anticipation which doesn't result in the outcome you anticipate can be painful. But I seem to have a different feeling about the placebo effect than you do. Placebo effect is belief; faith, knowing, expecting - and anticipating - an outcome. 

You ask,  "...how can one use it on one's self when the placebo only works if you actually believe that it's NOT a placebo?" I think we need to take it one step further and realize the power in it. The beauty of the placebo is that it teaches us we don't need to rely on drugs or sugar pills, but that the outcome of using them is more in our hands - and in our thinking - than in what we swallow. So if I know I have only a sugar pill but I also know the power behind the sugar pill/placebo is the anticipation of having a healing, then my relaxation response kicks in and then the body does what they body does when it is not stressed. It begins to heal.


Applying it to manifesting things in life other than healings seems to make sense to me because it is easier to daydream about an outcome than to "Think Positive", at least in my mind.


Did I swat that fly in the soup? Augh - I mean did I get it out and let it fly away?

1 month, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@jaypeebalroop Thanks Balroop. 

The warning is Chopra's - it makes sense, though doesn't it. No point in trying to spam the law, giving just a little and hoping for a lot.


You heard this when you were growing up? There really needs to be a new kind of parenting book with the important things, like this, in it.

Do you find it easier to give than to receive? Do you strive to keep that in balance?

2 months ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

Reply

Thanks Kaarina! It's good to notice what you've received and to be grateful for it :-)

2 months, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

Reply

@Rileyhar Thanks RIley! Did you go anywhere interesting this summer?

2 months, 1 week ago on Are You Better at Giving than Receiving?

Reply

@Lynn Lane Welcome to Life, for instance Lynn! I haven't read the book yet either, but maybe I should! :o


Have you ever had occasion to prevail in your life, and if so, how did you do it?

2 months, 1 week ago on Will You Prevail?

Reply

@jaypeebalroop Hi Balroop! 

The imagination joining with anticipation is probably what gives it such power. They say the mind can't tell the difference between something "real" and something imagined. Seems this power - to anticipate what we want even while it does not exist- is a truly untapped incredible resource. Children know how to use their imaginations well, which makes it easy for them to heal themselves, given guidance in mental imagery.

For some reason, while reading what you say here I had a thought: what if in our darkest hour we could say, Wait a minute! What do I want and how would that feel?  and by doing that could turn things around?

2 months, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@Sabrina Bolin Hi Sabrina! I do love it when that happens. I haven't gotten over to your place yet to see what's up over there but I will.

I love your How To for Anticipation harnessing: 1) dream big about the possibility 2) practice presence 3)  release attachment to the outcome. Very cool! And as with most things in life, balance is the key :-) Thanks for this. See you over at your place soon!

2 months, 2 weeks ago on The Power of Anticipation

Reply

@Vishnu's Virtues Hi Vishnu,

Navigating through and embracing difficult changes in life is "the primary lesson we are here to learn in life." Seems if we mastered that one and learned to flow life would be easier--even during times when it is hard. I too resist change, and conversely I get bored if things stay the same for too long. What a confusing message I'm sending out to the Universe ;-) I agree with you "being ok with change seems to be a great life skill."  How did you learn to be okay with change?

2 months, 2 weeks ago on Will You Prevail?

Reply

@jaklinbadr2013 Hi! If you like, put your links in your Livefyre profile. If you put them here in the text, they will be deleted but they are fine in the Livefyre profile. Add yours here:
http://www.livefyre.com/profile/53586470/

2 months, 2 weeks ago on The Happy Place

Reply

@Vidya Sury Hi Vidya! Yes, even though you know death is near it still comes as a shock. It was this way when my mother died. The reality of the loss if difficult to imagine before you experience it. And yet you say you hear her talking to you. I subscribe to the belief that they are not really gone, that they exist on a level we can't quite reach, but that they are alive -- and here. This is why (I believe) you hear her voice. I hear Alex's voice too.


I think any book you write would be wonderful! Sharing in a book how you have prevailed would be a gift for the world.The worst part is believing you won't survive. But we can witness to the fact that you do.


Thank you for stopping by the porch :-) My heart feels good now too.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Will You Prevail?

Reply