I am a speaker, writer and entrepreneur. Follow me at @stevenerice
Hmm...this is such a fantastic question. I know it's philosophical but it's also terribly practical. The only thing I really control is my choice to respond...or not...to any given situation. I think that I have very little control over how circumstances flow into and through my experience but I always control how I respond to those circumstances
2 months ago on How Much Control Do We Have?
I actually made an agreement with myself to always adopt another person's perspective of me when it is a higher than my own until mine rises to the level of theirs. I build my self-belief by allowing the positive beliefs of others to influence me.
2 months, 1 week ago on Are You Making Assumptions?
I think like with anything, it's in how you use it. I think technology allows us to move through the more mundane parts of our day more quickly (like checkout at the grocery or the bank), but it also allows us to connect more often with those we love.
My mom and I had this discussion this weekend. Her best friend's first born has gone to university this Sept, and her friend is really struggling with letting go. They are able to chat every day on cell and connect as often as they like.
My mom made the point that when she was in college, she and her mother wrote to each other once a week and she called home collect on the weekend. When I was in college, it was similar.
So technology has made connecting cheaper and easier, but if we don't make the effort to connect, then we miss the opportunity. It still comes down to me. I have to choose to connect to those in my life who I love.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Is Technology Making Us Antisocial?
This is an interesting perspective. My friend, Denise is writing a novel called "Easy" about a woman who suddenly gets the easy life she always wanted. (Spoiler: it doesn't end up as she had planned)
I think more often than not, our problems become overwhelming because we don't have clarity about what we need to solve them...or we have created additional drama by the stories we tell in our heads about the specific situation (ie "I'll never finish that job," we moan).
When we can gain a little objectivity and step back, it makes the project or problem easier to assess and conquer.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Do You Have Days When You Want to Quit?
Love ur perspective as well Julie. Being aware allows us the space to really pay attention-- to what we're thinking/ feeling etc. Thanks for sharing your wisdom
2 months, 3 weeks ago on How Do You Live In the Moment?
That's a great distinction. It is possible to be present but completely unconscious through worry and regret. Thanks for the great perspective.
U mean connecting in nature? I don't think it is for everyone...but for many people it is. There's a reason we talk of Mother Nature. Something in the flow of life energy from the earth is so large and powerful it reminds us...even sub consciously of our true selves and our true power
3 months ago on How Do You Live In the Moment?
Oh...I like that. I go on "gratitude" walks where I do something similar. I repeat the words thankful, gratitude, or grateful in time with my step. It gives me the feeling of gratitude and disrupts the rush of thought
Isn't that picture just wonderful? A friend of mine took it and allowed me to use it on this post. I'm so grateful. I am with you on this one. I feel centered and most connected in nature.
That's definitely been my experience. What have u found helps u to stay in the moment or how do u stay present?
Yes, I've seen it. It's such a great image of some very complex principles. I think that quantum physics are a great method or context to help explain our experiences in this physical world...but I really think that living with awareness is our natural state. It's about experience more than science...at least at the personal level. This has been my experience, at least.
For me, it was a way to heal from a tough breakup I was going through. I used this method to learn to reconnect to my intuition...to feel what it was like to be happy and at peace. Stillness provided the space where I could experience myself. That was relatively new for me. Have you had an experience like this?
Absolutely...but not because it is the "thing to do" or a trendy cliche...living in the moment--or being aware--ar least from my experience allows me to recognize the connection I have to all things. It also reminds me that all this "stuff" going on around me is illusion, as real as it seems. I believe that is the foundation of our true power--the ability to recognize this and to choose our response to life's circumstances.
Thanks Lori for the invitation to hang out (both on Google and here on your front porch!)
I love all of my friends--old, new and in-between! But then, I'm an extrovert and almost everyone is my "friend!"
Because of my personality, I do bond and feel connected to almost anyone. I have had to shift my expectations, though over the years. Just because I feel connected, doesn't mean the other person is connected as deeply...or that they express that connection in the same way I would. This shift has helped me to value and enjoy the friends I have while they're "front and center" in my life.
I treasure even more the deep friendships--the "thick-and-thin" kind--who will be there forever and with whom I can pick up after a year just as if it had been a week and we're right back at it.
3 months ago on Can You Have Too Many Friends?
Great question, @lorigosselin. I think in the "self-help" world the idea of "best life" (thanks, Oprah) has become cliché. We don't even really know what that means...at least I don't.
I think most of us have a fantasy of what that would mean...sub, "easy life" for best life and you've got it. But I don't think this life exists and even if it did, I don't think any of us would want it very long...since the very nature of growth and progress (what we came to earth to do, in my opinion) is to push against the status quo and expand beyond the boundaries of our own creativity.
So when we talk about "ideal life" I think most of us mean "fantasy life that doesn't really exist" (but is fun to imagine and dream about). In a way, it's delusion and distraction because we don't really know how to create happiness in the life we have currently.
I've decided recently to focus my creative energy on happiness where I am while at the same time creating things that bring me joy and fulfillment...that way, each moment is fulfilled in the pursuit of the creative endeavor I've applied myself to.
In a practical example, today, I'm creating an e-book based on a blog series I recently did on Toxic People. Tomorrow, I'll be heading to the "real job," but I'm determined to bring happiness there and enjoy the people and environment I'm in. These are all temporal circumstances that will shift--they must--as time passes, so I'm not too invested in any of them, emotionally. It's fun to watch life unfold when I'm not engaged in the drama of it.
3 months, 1 week ago on Are You Living Your Ideal Life?
I love this perspective....especially the part where he talks about how we project onto each other what we think the other should be. It's great reminder to remember that everyone else's opinion of my is their business and not mine.
The ego gets a bad rap, I think. When we are conscious of it, it immediately quiets down. I think Eckhart even teaches this as a way to quiet the ego--become aware of it.
I have found that when I become conscious that I am the one observing, then I have power to respond (or not) to whatever is going on in my life.
The ego becomes the outer watchman on the battlefield. He cries loudly for everyone to know that conflict is coming, but those behind the fortress walls take that information and prepare to meet conflict. I think it can be the same with the ego--we can hear it's cry and take the information in but don't have to respond to the conflict in a reactionary way.
3 months, 1 week ago on How to Become Free of the Ego
Thanks for sharing this powerful and personal post, Lori. Was thinking of you actually this past weekend and throughout this week, sending love and light to you and your family. You're so right! It's hard to actually remember or practice what we know to do...especially when it comes to gratitude and the other "simple" things that can shift us into the present. Much easier to muck around in the drama and distraction and despair...weird how that happens. And I don't really know the "fix" -- or if there really is one. Probably not--at least not a "magic pill" type of fix.
The way I try to "catch" the good old days is to surprise myself with them. It's silly, but the other day, I was talking to a friend and he was lamenting how lonely he was as a single person. I remember those days. But I also remember being extremely fulfilled and happy as a single person. Now, I take "togetherness" for granted...but I know it won't be forever. So I stop and cherish it...Better, yet, I try to speak the simple words: "I'm so grateful for you". Just that simple acknowledgment brings me back to the "good old day" I'm living.
Another even simpler example happened yesterday. I was walking up the back stairs in our apartment building and the thought crossed my mind, "Someday, I won't even have the strength to climb the stairs...or maybe walk."
A friend of mine had just lost his mother to cancer and she was bedridden at the end. It made me acutely aware of my own health and current vitality. So I said a prayer of gratitude and enjoyed my stair climbing with simple gratitude. I also made an agreement with myself that when I find myself in that stage of my life, to greet it with as much curiosity and joy, no matter my limitations. There will always be things that I can do then that I can't (or wouldn't) do now.
That's my thought...a rambling mess, I know. LOL
3 months, 3 weeks ago on Do You Miss the Good Old Days?
Lori, this post is so inspiring. Thank you! Love this: "You are cherished by Life. It is all working out for the best. All is well and all will be well - always" One of my favorite personal affirmations is this: "Life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to. All is well. I am safe."
I've just finished reading Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" again. In it, he presents the idea that you post above...that we are the ones who give life meaning. He says actually that life demands something of us--and that was the purpose he found for surviving the Holocaust and the death camps...Life was expecting something of him. It's a great flip on the concept of "WIIFM?"
Most of us think that life owes us something--happiness, equity, equality. But sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes we are unhappy. Sometimes we are mistreated. The power--at least for me--is that I get to decide what those events actually mean. So even in the darkest moments, I can decide if the sun will peek through the rain.
4 months, 4 weeks ago on How to Let Go
LOVE the "behind the scenes" thoughtfulness of this post. You make so many great points about talking to the audience (instead of talking to each other--as bloggers/biz peeps). They have the power. They drive the engine. We are merely conductors of the orchestra...and when it all comes together, the symphony touches us.
I especially loved your comment about your reason for doing it...so we (the audience) would pay attention...not so you could get attention....BIG, awesome, hairy distinction.
You succeeded. You have made me think of my own business as I build it...what I want and what I don't want. It made me think about ethics and how I want to treat everyone with whom I come into contact.
It has also made me think deeply about how we--all of us--can not only engage in this wonderful paradigm shift in online business, but how we can actually re-frame the fundamentals and re-write the rules...in a real way.
1 year, 1 month ago on How I got more comments on one post than I ever have before, and why it matters [because it totally does]
My word for today is content. It's not what I always experience, but it's what I am when I allow myself to be still in the moment without dreading the future or resenting the past.
1 year, 1 month ago on What is Your Favorite Word?