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Thought-provoking post here, Danny. That whole asking thing has so many facets to it. If it is asking a boss for a raise, well, that can be a very,very difficult thing to do for some people.  It is compounded when are a self-directed person who is fiercely independent, who works on an intrinsic reward system (creating great work because it pleases you). And if you never learned skills of negotiation, you are even more disadvantaged.

For example, I failed terribly at my first go-round of salary negotiations in a job outside of education because I still had the "salary schedule"mindset. (Teachers and principals were paid on a rigid scale of steps, according to college credits earned and years of experience. You got what the schedule said you got.)

As far as asking for other things, I must admit that I have a significant problem in that area. I've always tried to figure out if it was just my pride, but I have always been uncomfortable asking for help with things. I launched a Kickstarter campaign a couple of weeks ago to see my memoir to publication and I have discovered something about myself: it is very difficult for me reach out and ask for help.

Finally, I think that our education system, at least in the U.S., does not affirm the "askers" in our classrooms. I was big on critical thinking skills in my classroom and encouraged my students to question, to ask why, to think about whether there might be a better way. This may not be the kind of asking you were referring to in this post, but it's just a side note, I guess. 

Thanks for inviting me to weigh in here. 

3 weeks, 1 day ago on Why You Need to Be the Bane of the Status Quo

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Haha! I love it that this activity is catching on. I need to pop back into Kaarina's blog to see if she has published her post yet.

Your #81 (black licorice) prompted me to think: I love RED licorice. Why didn't that make my 'original 99' list? 

The beauty of your list is that now I feel like I know you so much better. 

11 months ago on The 82 Things I Love

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Danny, 

If more people took your advice, think of all the wonderful, innovative, smart products and services this world would see.  You have probably heard the quote from Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari: "Everyone who has taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference." 

In applying it to my new world, many, many people talk about the book they are going to write. Not as many actually write it.  A teaching colleague of mine used to carry a little spiral notebook around so she could jot down titles of the books she might someday write. She did the create-the-title- part because it was fun and easy—a lot easier than slaving through plot points, character development, revisions, multiple sets of edits and all the other work. To my knowledge, she never wrote that book. Your baker friend is another great example. 

My challenge has been cutting out all the noise (including social media) and focusing. It is much harder to do than to think (or talk) about doing! This post is spot on. Thanks.

1 year, 4 months ago on The Difference Between Ideas and Doing

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@Linda Fuller See? This is what I love about the comments section. I think that reading industry publications can give you lots of new ideas. And it's true, 100 bloggers can take the same topic and spin it in a hundred different ways. Great point, Linda.

1 year, 5 months ago on What Should You Blog About?

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Dear Anonymous,

Thanks for sharing here. Your last sentence resonates with me: "Why am I so afraid of being alone?"The painful introspection I engaged in between my first and second marriages helped me to see that, since I had never been alone (parents to sorority house to marriage), I never really felt comfortable in my own skin, to just be me. It took me ten more years  to get to that spot, but finally I could like being around me and no one else (no adult, that is). And when that happened, when I stopped looking for someone else to complete me, I met the love of my life . I needed that alone time to figure out who I was, without someone else, before I could become part of a couple again. I say, give yourself that time. Yes, it will be lonely. But what a reward at the end. 

1 year, 5 months ago on Dear LFI: Why Am I So Afraid of Being Alone?

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Interesting question, Lori. As some of your other readers are alluding to here, if we make a positive impact on someone's life, even in a small way, we are changing the world, because that person will likely pass on his or her "changed self" to someone else, if that makes any sense. And if enough people do that, there will be changes in every corner of the world. I like to think of it that way.

What I loved about teaching can be summed up in the  "I'm a teacher. I touch eternity." slogan you might have heard. Because those little ones grow up and have their own children and if just one thing I taught them about living and love and social justice was passed on, then it can reverberate through generations. Same can be said of parents. I'm not wording this very eloquently, but it's how I feel. So aren't we all changing the world in one way or another?

1 year, 6 months ago on Are You Changing the World?

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Haha. That is quite a story about your grandparents, Lori. And I can relate to the story of how you met your husband. Mine is similar in some ways. It was a Monday. I was returning from a very stressful meeting at a college in early September. The teachers in the third largest school district in the state (Spokane, WA) had just voted to strike for the first time in history. I was very anxious. I was a single parent and this was the only job I had.

 

I did something I've never done. I stopped in a bar close to my home for a glass of wine. By myself. (I never went into bars by myself. ) Bob was sitting at the bar. He was an employee in the restaurant. He didn't usually work Mondays, but he was there for a birthday celebration for one of his co-workers. There you go. If not for those two things, the strike vote and the birthday party, we would have never met. We were married by the following June and will celebrate our 30th anniversary this June. They say nothing happens by chance but still...

1 year, 6 months ago on Do You Believe in Destiny?

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 @Lori The problem with writing a "posthumous post" (hey, I just made up a new term...maybe it will catch on) is that you would have to be constantly updating it to reflect what you want your VERY LAST thoughts to be? This is getting complicated. Maybe a simple poem would do: 

 

You are here

I am not

Celebrate me

With a shot.

 

I know, it's kind of irreverent.   : )

1 year, 7 months ago on How Do We Deal With Death in an Online World?

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I am so sorry for your loss, Lori. May the memorial fire burn brightly and be a way to honor Kevin's life.

 

You know, I was taken aback at my mom's instructions on what to do upon my parents' death. She wrote an 11-page letter and told us what drawer it was in so we could retrieve it. Overkill, to say the least. Right down to turning off the utitlities and getting that deposit back that they paid the electric company back in 1943! (She was a frugal woman.) I can now laugh about it, but at the time I was speechless.

 

But the other thoughtful things my parents did were very appreciated. They had prepaid for the cemetery plots and funerals, so no financial burden for us kids. Even down to the flowers, thank-you notes and newspaper obituary notices. Pretty amazing.

 

I don't think we do enough planning and thinking on this subject, probably because it isn't exactly something we are looking forward to.  : )

 

My deepest condolences to you, Lori.

 

 

 

 

1 year, 7 months ago on How Do We Deal With Death in an Online World?

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 @belllindsay  @creativeoncall  @ginidietrich  @Danny Brown My thoughts exactly. I look at it like mind mapping. I'm a veteran headline writer but if I can take an existing idea, as crappy as it might be, spin it a few times and make it uniquely mine, I wouldn't mind.  I think it's when everyone takes the "suggestions" at face value and starts using them, that's when we'd get slammed with the crappy. 

1 year, 7 months ago on Content Idea Generator: A Magical Tool to Help You Write

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Hi Gini,

 

Although I haven't checked it out yet, I actually think this has some potential in a sort of mind mapping, jump-start-your-thinking kind of way. I see what Danny is saying, but I am just completing an online Build Your Author Platform class and am realizing that we are all at different skill set levels when it comes to things like headlines. The value here, at least for me, might be reading something that sparks another idea, that becomes the title I will go with. Or maybe I'll try it for those days when I am in  time crunch or feeling particularly lazy.    : )

 

Anyway, I shared your post's link over in the class forum. 

1 year, 7 months ago on Content Idea Generator: A Magical Tool to Help You Write

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 @Lori Haha. I had forgotten all about that movie. Love Steve Martin.  : )

1 year, 8 months ago on Have You Ever Asked for a Sign?

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A sign. That reminds me of Jim Carrey's line in "Bruce Almighty." He's driving along and looks upward. He says< "Please, God. Just give me a sign." And a big old truck comes along with a bunch of road signs piled on it: "STOP," "RIGHT TURN ONLY," "MERGE LEFT."

 

Seriously, don't you love the way the universe comes through if you ask? It kind of gives me the shivers that all of us had a message you needed in the same week. Eager to hear all about your decision when you are ready to share it, Lori.  : )

1 year, 8 months ago on Have You Ever Asked for a Sign?

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Okay. On normal nights or during the cold season? Still getting rid of this monster cough, so throat drops and kleenex. Alarm clock. Lamp. Butter Shea body lotion. Chapstick. Notepad and pen. And four books (yes, always need backups so I don't run out): Shakespeare's Sonnets, The Complete Novels of P.G. Wodehouse, Writing Past Dark and Look Homeward, Angel. That's a lot of stuff! 

1 year, 8 months ago on What’s on Your Nightstand?

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Hey Ralph,

 

I've been mired in Tech Hell here—iMac exploded and am having to start all over, except for the important stuff like my book manuscript, which was backed up. So, the south of France, huh? That is lovely. My warped opinion of "normal" is being somewhere where I am completely out of my element (language, culture, etc.) Somehow I like that feeling.

 

Your Renault brings back fond memories: my very first car was a Renault my dad bought for me when I was 16. It had a town horn and a country horn! You guys sound like you are having a great time.   : )

2 years ago on You will {not} find Normal here. Is Normal where you are?

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I'm a little worried about making the move (though I will be doing it) because 80% of my subscribers are RSS. I heard that RSS folks would have to resubscribe and I know that usually a substantial number are lost when that happens. I guess i will be finding out. 

2 years, 1 month ago on Feedburner to Feedblitz – Why We Migrated Our RSS Feed

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I have thought long and hard about this issue, Margie. I am 5'2." That's probably several inches taller than you, but when I adjust the seat after Bob has been driving, I have to move it so close to the steering wheel. I worry about airbags and I worry about the steering wheel impaling me! If they say not to put airbags near children, they really need to say near short adults, too. I am going over now to sign the petition.

2 years, 1 month ago on Help me petition to deactivate driver-side airbags for Little People

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@Di Mace | Word Swords Yes! It was my favorite part of day—making copies of worksheets. Ours was called the mimeograph machine (pre-copier days and boy does that make me feel old!). You had to prime it by pushing this button. And attach the master, lining it up on that big drum. Then it started and produced a rhyhtmic clickety-clack sound. And the fumes? Man, they were the best part.  (Is that what sniffing glue is like?)  Haha. We sound like crackheads now. Also, the teachers walked around with purple hands all day and students, too, if they did too much touching before they dried. Ah, the memories...

2 years, 2 months ago on Show And Tell: What I Learned About Blogging from First Graders

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@yvette Carol Thanks for reading. We all remember back to school in some way or another, right?

2 years, 2 months ago on Show And Tell: What I Learned About Blogging from First Graders

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@bdorman264 I am having great troubles commenting on your amazing blog post. Absolutely loved what you had to say. 

I am pre-velcro, too, but, unfortunately, by the time I grew up and became a teacher, the danged thing had been invented. I used to curse the person who came up with it.

If you have truly only been blogging for 18 months, you are way ahead of where I was at that stage. I was just getting me sea legs! Thanks for the comment, Mr. Bill. "Oh no! Mr. Bill!"  )Probably before your time?)

2 years, 2 months ago on Show And Tell: What I Learned About Blogging from First Graders

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@lindaw So, you have worked with children, too. Just keep that 6-year-old self front and center. That is all we ever need!

2 years, 2 months ago on Show And Tell: What I Learned About Blogging from First Graders

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i have no words to say, except that we stand with you, Lori. Know that you are loved. What a beautiful young man. I know he will always be in your heart.

 

Time away from this mad social media world is what you need right now. Love, prayers and hugs.We are here if you need us.

2 years, 2 months ago on Life…and Death…Rest in Peace My Son

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What a surprise to wake up to! And don't forget Margie Clayman:  Smart, funny, with a dose of sassitude. I have so enjoyed getting to know you: your humor and your take on social media—and life. 

 

Seriously, how long must this have taken you to compile? I am beyond honored that you would include me on this list. 

 

Now, I'm off to follow the fine folks on this list I'm not already connected to. Thank you for this!

2 years, 2 months ago on 100 People Who Don’t Get Enough Credit Online

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@Juli_K Thanks for the RT! Great conversation here.  : )

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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 @AnneReuss  @ginidietrich Anne, people say that about me, too. "Noooo! You're not an introvert!" We just know how to fake it when we need to.   : )

2 years, 2 months ago on #FollowFriday: Anne Reuss

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 @ginidietrich You made my day saying that, Gini. You are putting yourself out there, which, especially since I am writing this book, I need to do more of. I have to push myself to do it, bit once I'm there, I love it.

2 years, 2 months ago on #FollowFriday: Anne Reuss

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 @magriebler  @AnneReuss  @ginidietrich Absolutely! Introverts need time to think and process but once we do, watch out, baby!

2 years, 2 months ago on #FollowFriday: Anne Reuss

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Wow. See? This is what I love about social media. It IS a leveler, in the best kind of way. I am an introvert and not the world's best speaker, but I have found my voice with blogging and social media. I can only imagine what a great tool it is for people with other challenges. 

 

So nice to meet you, Anne. And thanks, Gini, for introducing us to her. 

2 years, 2 months ago on #FollowFriday: Anne Reuss

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@MaryHabres Glad these points got you thinking about new strategies. I like the sequel idea because we can stretch our content and get more mileage out of it. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 5 Hollywood Sequel Tricks to Turn Your Sizzling Blog Post into a Series

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 @joostharmsen Strange? Haha. They are not all run-of-the-mill questions, but I thought they were interesting ones. Especially the questions I got about after I added my middle name to my blog and branding. People were just so used to "Judy Dunn." Many of the others I have gotten in blogging workshops I teach. I thought I would just kill them all in one post.     : )

2 years, 2 months ago on About Page Meets Reader Mailbag: 7 Questions You Asked Me

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@Steven Hourston Ha! We all come across the comment box freeze at one time or another. Actually, sometimes I read and don't end up leaving a comment. 

And, yes, if there aren't 917 comments (exaggerator!) that have already been left, reading the previous ones can be very enlightening. I, too, look for blogs where it seems like everyone is welcome and everyone has an equal voice.   : )

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@rdopping You are one of my treasured readers.  : )

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Sherrey Meyer So very true.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@bdorman264 Oh no! I didn't mean #9 to say that you shouldn't share personal stories/experiences in the comments. Because those are the things that are interesting—to the blogger and to other readers. Just meant to say stay away from the blatantly self-promotional comments.

"Crack to a NY ho"? That's quite the analogy there. Fascinating what you say about commenting vs. posting on your own blog. In some ways, I feel like I'm better at commenting than posting, too. I guess I really like the give-and-take and interactive nature of comments. Thanks for sharing, my friend.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@rdopping As a blogger, I actually like reading long comments—if they are  well-thought out, on-topic and formatted for readability. It shows that the reader has an opinion on a topic and has taken the time to think about the post. 

And, yes. Since, no one has invented a font called Sarcastic yet, you really do have to know the person and their style of humor. I learned this quickly when I taught first grade. The first (and only) time I said, "If you don't read this word correctly, I'm going to hang you by the toes," one little kid burst into tears. Exaggerated example but it has applications. And how much worse it gets when your message is only in print, with no body language.     : )

Always enjoy your comments, Ralph. Thanks for sharing here.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@thejoshuawilner I get what you are saying here. The one thing I personally need to remember about "the crowd," though, is that whatever I allow is there for first-time visitors to see. I think sometimes there is a fine line between cutting my regulars some slack in the comments section and being perceived as a blogger with a favored subset of readers. I want that front porch and glass of iced tea (wine?) to be accessible to all. It may be just a personal issue with me, but I have felt excluded and/or as if I don't belong in the inner circle on some blogs. It is a delicate dance indeed.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Johanne I love the debates, too! Encouraging critical thinking is great. It just helps us all to see different points of view. A great strategy as a blogger is to ask a reader for more information: "That's an interesting idea. Will you tell me more about it?"

It depends on whether you want to just  "broadcast" a post or whether you want to start a lively discussion. Great points, Johanne.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Jan Christiansen Thanks for reading, Jan. And a blogger' group? How cool is that?

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@scoremoresales Lori, the “hijacking” can happen so quickly and I, too, need to be careful when I’m commenting on someone else’s blog. I think it is one problem creative randoms have. One idea reminds of us another idea and on and on. : )And I like what you are saying about “something gained” from the whole discussion. Otherwise, there is no learning, just a bunch of rants. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here.

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Samarowais I'm kind of torn on the reading other comments issue. If I don't read them beforehand, I won't be swayed by someone else's opinion and (depending on the popularity of the blog)., I won't have to spend an additional 15-20 minutes—if there are a lot of comments.

On the other hand, it isn't respecting other readers if I duplicate what someone had said just because I didn't read the comments. Complex issues here. I think the sharing on Twitter with a brief comment is an excellent alternative. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@susanwingate Haha. I worried about that. What if someone gets so freaked out over my 10 rules that they freeze up and can't leave a comment? I think that the whole commenting thing is quite a complex issue. I'm feeling a couple of more posts coming on.   : ) 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@scoremoresales Lori, the "hijacking" can happen so quickly and I, too, need to be careful when I'm commenting on someone else's blog. I think it is one problem creative randoms have. One idea reminds of us another idea and on and on.  : )

And I like what you are saying about "something gained" from the whole discussion. Otherwise, there is no learning, just a bunch of rants. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Mandy Cochrane I know. Drives you crazy, right? And all it takes is just one person to turn a discussion into a completely different conversation. I will say that the feeling of cliques and exclusiveness  can also take over if the blogger doesn't make an effort to bring everyone into the conversation. I have left blogs for this reason. I think all of us still remember middle school and the popular table in the cafeteria. All great points, Mandy. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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@Sherrey Meyer Definitely, comment box freeze is a common malady. You make a good point about adding value. But, the thing that gets me with that advice is that sometimes it just freezes people up more. Because what makes a comment valuable? It doesn't need to be earth-shattering. And it isn't rocket science.

 Personally, I think that one excellent way is to just take a point the blogger made and connect it to a personal experience you have had. That makes your comment unique because no one on this planet has had quite the exact same experiences as you have—nor have they taken the same lessons away from it. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

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 @bdorman264 Haha. Your arm weighs 40 POUNDS? Oh, that's right. You are from the South, where they are fond of tall tales. Or, wait. Paul Bunyan? That was Minnesota. Now you got me going. 

 

Seriously (and back to Ralph's topic), if you have gotten social media to a sustainable point, that is impressive. I get sucked into that bog hole because I like conversations and I LOVE to debate. 

2 years, 2 months ago on Social is as Social does; The Saga of Social and its meteoric rise to the top.

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It is precisely because anything worthwhile does take work that 90% of people are looking for the easy way out. They DEFINITELY don't want to put any EFFORT into it. Because that would mean they would have to work!

 

"Build a blog in 15 minutes." "Get 10,000 Twitter followers overnight!" "Lose 40 pounds in 3 days eating pasta and steak!" And on and on and on.

 

And it's just not in social media. In my field, it's "Written a best-selling novel in 100 hours!" (I swear to God, I saw that the other day on Twitter. My editor and I got a good laugh out of that one.) I'm not trying to be Mrs. Grumpy here, but most things of quality take time and effort and resources. And though I don't watch cable anymore, that is why shows like "Dr. Phil" and "Judge Judy" are so unique. Because becoming a good, real person and doing well in life requires some effort. Notwithstanding the Woody Allen quote (90% of success is just showing up"), we need to do more than just show up. Sorry, your rant got me going. This whole issue touches a nerve with me.   : )

2 years, 2 months ago on Social is as Social does; The Saga of Social and its meteoric rise to the top.

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@rdopping Nothing to add? Haha. This has to be a first for you, my friend. Thanks for popping in.  : )

2 years, 2 months ago on 5 Hollywood Sequel Tricks to Turn Your Sizzling Blog Post into a Series

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 @tonygreene113  @Wendy's Adventures in Weight Loss Tony, actually I have never moderated comments, but since I switched to livefyre, the spam has been nonexistent on my end...they do a great job of filtering it out). I've had a few hiccups with the version 3, but the folks at LF have been very responsive. I'm hoping that it was just a one-time thing with last week's post. 

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons I Won’t Leave a Comment on Your Blog

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 @Wendy's Adventures in Weight Loss Wendy, I have a philosophy with the "rules" thing. I call it blog-as-lab. I like to experiment with different strategies to find the right ones for my blog and readers. So, no one rule will fit everyone.

 

That post is here, in case in missed it:

 

http://bestbloggingtipsonline.com/7-ways-to-use-your-blog-as-a-lab-even-if-you-sucked-at-science/

2 years, 2 months ago on 10 Reasons I Won’t Leave a Comment on Your Blog

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