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What happened to keep your hands to yourself? I've never heard anyone discourage men and women from carrying designer handbags or wearing expensive watches to avoid being robbed. We as a society don't see a grey area in taking something that doesn't belong to you. Why violating a body that isn't yours doesn't fall under the same logic is just plain stupid. The veil of prevention is thin, barely concealing victim blaming/shaming. Consider the fact that most victims know their attackers, to the tune of 70+% meaning they will be raped by someone they don't consider a threat to their person. A house full of fellow classmates a victim sees on regular basis would be the last place a threat would be perceived. As adult women we have to stop thinking we can properly advise teens who are growing up in an era we can barely navigate in our 20s, 30s, and 40s.
5 months, 2 weeks ago on Is Serena Williams a Rape Apologist, or Were Her Comments About the Steubenville Rape Victim Just an Extremely Bad Choice of Words?
7 months, 1 week ago on The Results are In: My 12-Pound Weight Loss!
@Karla I had to laugh because when my girlfriend sent it to me with the same disclaimer I didn't know what to think. The backlash he got was so racist.
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Yet ANOTHER Off Topic Thread!! | Beyond Black & White
The title is misleading.
I just don't care. Seriously I don't even consider myself one of "their women". FOH dude.
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Since We're Discussing It...The Pot Calling the Kettle ONYX...
This was pretty comprehensive. That is what specified spaces are for. Maybe because the site is targeted to sub-demo of Black women it's assumed that the space is inclusive to all Black people despite having a clear mission.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Brenda55: "Why talk about Black men at all?"
I don't have or want kids but I am someone's child and I didn't appreciate my parents spanking me, plus it didn't work. Grounding and taking away things I liked did though. I can understand parents being frustrated and I know they loved me. But they could have been more creative.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on White Man At Odds With Black Wife's Family Over Spanking
@DWB @The_Boss I take it with a gran of salt, they come from a different time. I do love them though.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Time to Own It: My Mea Culpa on No Wedding No Womb 2010
This was a great read!
8 months, 3 weeks ago on 'DeepWater'...From Corporate Life To Homelessness To (White Man/Business Partner in Love and Business)
@The_Boss Good, extend the same courtesy those who don't please.
@The_Boss My Dad is awesome, so are my Uncles and Godfathers. Cousins are okay too. But I'm not dating them and being family means I only get their side of the story.
But here is where it gets interesting. When I got out of the military I asked all these men in my family if they knew any nice men I could meet. They all pretty much said they didn't. My fave Uncle: "These n*****s out here ain't about sh*t!". My Dad is sitting right next to him nodding his head. My cousins had a lot more to say later.
Only 2 men in my family don't work in the skilled trades, education, or professional fields, most are veterans, and none of them were comfortable with idea of any men they knew being with me a/o becoming family. Keep in mind these are the men who "screen" anyone I bring home anyway. They keep their lives as family men and Black men separate and this helps maintain their quality of life. I would recommend that approach to Black women.
You are well within your right to be inclusive to black men romantically for whatever reason, but only black (American and sometimes Caribbean) women say it's because the men in their families are great.
Noticed that he didn't plug NWNW in his post about the sexual irresponsibility of Black women either. As if there wasn't a effort on the part of Black women to address the issue. Like you said he knew about and advocated for NWNW but conveniently left it out. Meanwhile on this IR blog sexual responsibility is promoted more heavily than Black Unisex and Black male run sites targeted to Black Women. Am I the only one in the classroom?
I have to stop deleting my own posts. I swear I know the difference between "Delete" and "Reply"-for typo fixes-I swear I do.
Anyway I didn't say anything that hasn't been said before; Divestment and Lessened Proximity.
@Jamila Read it last night, skipped the comment section though.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Suburban Atlanta Communities Seceding from Troubled Inner City Atlanta
@tracyreneejones Then you have internal exploitation by black government officials, criminals, and law enforcement.
Some interesting stuff as I go along:
"According to Sims (1999), high status Blacks in the five large metropolitan areas studied were least likely to isolate themselves from their lower status counterparts when compared to Whites, Hispanics, and Asians. Using both census data and ethnographic data for Chicago, PatilloMcCoy (2000) presents evidence which contradicts Wilson=s (1987) Black middle class outmigration hypothesis. She finds that while the Black middle class has increased in size since the 1970s, it has remained in close physical proximity to neighborhoods occupied by poor Blacks. However, using a unique measure of economic segregation, the neighborhood sorting index, Jargowsky (1996) finds that economic segregation in the 1980s was particularly large and widespread for Blacks and Hispanics. Results of these studies have shown that counter to the expectations of some, rising socioeconomic status has not resulted in a much higher degree of sharing of neighborhoods between Whites and all minority groups (Sims 1999; Massey and Fischer 1999; Denton and Massey 1988; Darden 1987). Blacks and to a lesser degree, Hispanics, continue to live in different neighborhoods than Whites at high levels across all income levels. Thus, the general consensus is that racial and ethnic rather than class status remains the most salient factor in explaining residential location for Blacks and Hispanics. South and Crowder (1998) find that Blacks of all socioeconomic levels are less likely to achieve spatial mobility by moving out of poor neighborhoods."
I can not wait to read up on this. I'll want to do some research so I can discuss this; "What will we see in 20 years?" and "How will class further dictate politics in the black population?"
Oh my goodness really?!
9 months ago on Yet ANOTHER Off Topic Thread!! | Beyond Black & White
@Toni You already know how I feel about this topic. You have my full support and appreciation.
9 months ago on Recognizing the Necessity and Importance of Dark-Skinned Feminine Beauty Part II
All of this, just all of it!
9 months ago on Why Saying, "You Aaaiight" Can Be So Damaging to Young Black Girls--Peep the Game, Play Smarter.