Livefyre Profile

Activity Stream

Have to wipe the happy tears from my eyes first. Awesome story!

1 day, 5 hours ago on Get X-Mas Money! Enter Our First BB&W “Happy Couple” Contest to Win a $100 Visa Gift Card!

Reply

Well, crying is an emotional outburst which demands immediate action to comfort the crier, while that intellectual stuff gets put on the back burner of priorities.

It would be interesting to play out the scenario, where the black girl burst into tears BEFORE the white girl. My guess, is that the first person who cries, "wins" the attention of the males conditioned to respond to this. The second person would be more or less, the loser.

1 day, 19 hours ago on My Strong Is <em>Not</em> Your Strong, My Swirl Is <em>Not</em> Your Swirl: On White Women Entitlement Issues And Epic Cockblocking

Reply

There was text?

2 days, 2 hours ago on Late Night Man Candy Monday: Welcome to Bollywood!!

Reply

Gonna have to disagree with that fellow on this point: we all know what it is, and I have no interest in further talk about BM at this point. I also do no not believe it is for nonBM to discuss. (That's BM business. And they can discuss it among themselves, and with BW who are NBAB - just not here - this train has already left the station).

I'm now about BW, what we need to thrive. Become our best selves, be healthy, expand our horizons and live well with nuff love.

BTW, Chris looking good in the flowy dress, gawgeous hair and pretty pink eyeshadow. That there, is Chris serving up the pretty, black girl style!

2 days, 21 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

Since you went on retreat, I find your columns more upbeat, positive and proactive. Go get em, Girl!

2 days, 23 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest:  The ABC’s of Finding Love 

Reply

Toni is right: keeping those comments illustrates all that has been said about WW-BW relations over the last few weeks.

It is basically an attitude of "I don't care what you are saying, Imma have my say, and boost myself up". I wonder if they are being intentionally obtuse or just cannot comprehend that their issues may be legit to them but not to others.

Interesting how many WW seem to be lurking here. Or do they mosey on over from FB and Youtube? Can anyone tell me?

2 days, 23 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

Exactly, that was the rhetoric justifying the enslavement and torture of BW. Surprising how this idea lives on in the form of the trope SBW.

3 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

Because defending the "damsel" trope (or at the very least, the space it occupies), while at the same time claiming the strong/feminist trope is a complicated dance for WW. Y'know that we don't want it, but we don't want you to have it either.

3 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

Why they refuse to is an important question.

3 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

Not irrelevant, Not your girl Friday does also talk about "why wouldn't [BW] want to be feminine?", intersectionality and why feminism just isn't working for BW.

3 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”

Reply

So what is the name of the twin?

5 days, 1 hour ago on IRR Book Review: Tempted by Samara King

Reply

I was ready to move to her town of Gucci, but then I realized it was a typo! LOL!

5 days, 1 hour ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey

Reply

The ability to change your vision... Means you have a solid base which allows you to be flexible.

5 days, 1 hour ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey

Reply

Reminds me of that film "An Education", although it had a happy ending (the girl getting on with her life), far too many girls don't get that once derailed.

1 week, 6 days ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

Reply

Yup.

Sammy, the good news is, you know what you want.

The not so good news is, you're too young to get it.

The great news is: you have time to become the kind of woman the quality men that you desire, also want.

1 week, 6 days ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

Reply

Will she take the advice given here? Will it be possible to follow up at some point?

1 week, 6 days ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

Reply

They say that because girls bear the burden and shame of unplanned pregnancies (let me just leave out STDs for a minute), which can completely derail your life plans, whereas boys can pass on seemingly unaffected.

I'll never forget the story I heard of a girl who had had a baby, sending her cousin to do the physical exam for her, so that she could finish out high school at a 'normal' school and go on to UWI. She told her story years later...

1 week, 6 days ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

Reply

Why don't you ease into it, by trying a lip pencil under your lip balm? That's how I started out...

1 week, 6 days ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

Reply

Every time I see either Danai Gurira or Lupita Nyong'o, I get new ideas of colours I can rock!

1 week, 6 days ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

Reply

Alternately, you could try something lighter and quicker for your on-the-go lifestyle: a drop of foundation in with your daily face cream/moisturizer.

I've found it actually protects my skin in the cooler weather. Plus it's quick and dead easy.

Your mom has a point: even a quick slick of lipstick or gloss will not only protect your lips, but brings a splash of colour to your face especially if you don't use eye makeup, but will give you a boost.

Also, don't knock Chris' post a while back: you may just meet someone at Uni...

1 week, 6 days ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

Reply

Are you a deep or bright winter? I was told I was a winter too, and am just starting to embrace bright colours!

1 week, 6 days ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

Reply

"glorified moments of generosity" BOOM! Glad this young lady survived and has a critical head on her shoulders. She is right though. Her father is delusional and that show just supports that.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on The Iyanla Vanzant Cluster Cuss: We BB&W MUST Keep Discussing the High OOW Rate

Reply

Agree. It's a wave. Chris makes a video and they roll on in, like the tide, then roll on out.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Cop allegedly sexually assaults eight Black women – where are the women’s groups?

Reply

Frankie"s voice! Uhmp!

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Asian Guy Shares His Feelings About AM/BW Relationships

Reply

This. Attraction means nothing unless it leads to actions: pursuing, dating and marriage. We had that discussion over in the QOTW thread about staring.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Asian Guy Shares His Feelings About AM/BW Relationships

Reply

Yeah, a man staring is waaaaay up in his head, either enjoying the view or calculating his odds of having a chance with a BW. And once he's staring, he's not even realizing what the rest of his face is doing.

As usual Chris, great advice. All the same, I tell my kids, "I birthed ya, I'm allowed to stare at ya. And if you don't watch out, I'll come tickle you!"

2 weeks, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

Reply

Going to watch video, but not before I say Chris, you look STUNNING! Your eyeshadow is giving me life!

2 weeks, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

Reply

We were talking about this a while back over at Elegance's place: guys really seem to enjoy seeing things On women that are clearly feminine... ie that they wouldn't necessarily wear. So one does get treated more courteously when one is wearing a skirt or a dress, with a pretty bow or flowers in your hair.

There used to be a website about BW femininity about how to dress like in a feminine approachable way, but I can't find it anymore, or it's gone private...

2 weeks, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

Reply

Congrats!

3 weeks, 2 days ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

Reply

@your epiphany @jazzyfae45 Heh. When I see guys like that while out and about, I make a habit of yawning. Even if I am not tired. Why would I stare at em if I'm not looking, or judging, but just getting on with my life. Their insecurities are their problem.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

Reply

@LilaLeslie @oekmama You just said the magic word: visibility. I'm thinking it wasn't soooo rare as we are thinking, it just wasn't sooo visible in the media. 

Our resident historian SwirlQueen has posted lots of lovely posts, where IRR has been going on a while, but not present in media.


So the question is: Is media now better representing real life? Or are celebrities more than ever refusing to feed the fangirl fantasies, at the expense of living their lives how they want?

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

Reply

I don't believe in a 'usually' because taste is a varied thing. I've seen enough pictures of BW/WM couples (esp wedding pics) to know that tastes vary. I'm just glad I found the one whose taste I fit (and who fits mine!)

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

Reply

Jill Scott's commentary is as confusing today as then... She says she was raised to value character over colour, but... Insert my eye-roll here. She can speak for herself, if she calls herself a 'daughter of the dust.' That's a psychology of lack at work. I'm not dust which blows off the land and is a nuisance. Deep dark rich fertile soil is not the same as dirt. Ask any gardener.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

Reply

If it's a threat, then it's all in their heads. Literally. WW-fangirldom is based on fantasy. The fantasy that any Amy-Sue or Mary-Jane can close her eyes, 'erase' a fairly average-looking Kirsten Stewart and become Robert Pattinson's romantic partner. Kirsten became a generic stand-in, who gave WW-fangirldom the feeling that "it coulda been me!"

On the other hand, it's not so easy to erase a Tahliah (FKA Twigs' real name - thanks Wikipedia!) from beside a Robert or a Nicole from beside a Michael Fassbender. That disturbs the fantasy. Choosing to be with a non-WW doesn't support the "coulda been me" fantasy. And that's what the whole commotion seems to be about. The fact that these men are exercising free will to go after who they are attracted to, isn't what fantasy men do. And so they are trying to bully and shame these women into giving these men up.

I don't believe that it has anything to do with real life - because the numbers for IR marriages among WM and the BW/WM screen couples aren't prevalent enough to be a real life threat for WW yet.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

Reply

I agree with you, yes, femininity and approachability are key for BW changing that negative image. Absolutely. I've tried it, and it works.

However, here's what rubbed me wrong: here is a man who places what other's say OVER his own experience. His own experience to the contrary, should at least indicate to a critical thinker, that generalizations cannot be made as such.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

Reply

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. You see, for many people like him, who don't do social media, the Internet isn't real life.

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

Reply

Clever title, but you can't judge him by US standards as they're both British. Is that normal for celebrity Brits in the UK? Maybe theyre having a good laugh about it over a nice cuppa. Who knows?

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

Reply

True. Author info was missing, although I can guess authorship (ie Toni's post earlier today) based on topic and tone...

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Three men who say they are “good.” Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from.

Reply

Spot on. This is why I do not believe in 'discussing' my life choices with anyone. It seems to make em think they have a stake, and can change my mind, when in reality they don't.

1 month ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

Reply

OOW= out of wedlock

BBW= beyond black &white

BW= black woman/women

BM= black man/men

Stik around, you'll get the hang of it soon!:-)

1 month ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

Reply

That's the funniest thing I've read this morning. Only thing I would love is to see a pic of their twitter intern.

1 month ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night

Reply

I've read articles about trolls, and what you sayis true. There are a lot of folks out there too, who think it is fun and entertaining to bully and troll while hidden by anonymity. And when tracked down and confronted, they claim it was just innocent fun.

1 month ago on The Nation of Social Media Hate Comes for Omari Hardwick’s Wife….

Reply

It has something to do with some fear of colonial objectification, fetishization fear of being consumed. I'm not gonna bust a brain cell tryna figure it all out.

1 month ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

Reply

Going to add... And getting enough sleep.

1 month ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

Reply

Um, you ARE beautiful. If you were my best friend, I'd never say that to you, so please don't say that to yourself. Sometimes we have to cut off that inner critic, and stop certain trains of thought from going too far.

1 month ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

Reply

@cns Let us know how it turns out, if possible. My guess is that after the show, Dentist-guy will go back to dating non-black women, but he took one for the GAT-DL  team on the show... and she will go back to being single? But at least she was 'kept away' from the Italian guy...

1 month ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

Reply