Black womban...from da biggest city in the Midwest...workin in da fashion industry...wanting to LEAVE America...living my life like its golden.
@temple @Butterfly123 @lalalee0305 @Mercedes Keyes I've heard Black womben who don't even date white men say, "I'm gonna go get me a white man" when talking about their frustrations with Black men as if a white man is automatically a good man.
I think some Black womben think like this and I date white men. Its not an urban legend for me, but everyone's experiences are different.
1 month, 1 week ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question
@Oaktown Paul Ok, just to let you know, the two Black womben I know who are MARRIED to white men BOTH have subscriptions to Essence. I've chided them about it because I no longer read it.
As a Black womban, I stopped reading Essence a long time ago, but not because they didn't encourage BW to date IR. I'm grown and I don't need everything that is directed towards Black womben to endorse/promote BWIRs (in fact, I wish more womben's magazines would stop talking so much about how womben can get met [of any race] and more about how they can live SELF-fulfilling lives). I stopped reading Essence because I no longer enjoyed a Black WOMBAN'S magazine that had up to three MONTHLY columns by men in it, or encouraged Black womben to spend wisely while having ridiculously expensive clothes in it, and most of all, is NOTHING like the magazine it was meant to be when it was created (my mother has several of the first copies and they were DEEEEEEEEEEEP; wonderful Black womben poetry, in-depth articles about the different -isms facing Black womben, etc).
No need to lump all the womben who read Essence into one category ("It did not take long for me to learn about the audience at Essence.") like we're talking about something named Ganja Monthly.
@Butterfly123 @The Working Home Keeper Yeah, that was a CLEAR dig on not only BWIR, but BW in general. At least Taraji's character had good sense.
@onmywayup @Toni_M @futureshock Her talking about how well he's treated her financially makes me believe she kinda has bought into the notion that she's been purchased.
Its a sad situation. This is obviously about someone who's self-worth is not what it should be. I wish it were as easy as her just deciding to leave, but if she married the man, I'm sure she loves him. She's gonna need a lot of support and some serious counseling.
@lalalee0305 @Mercedes Keyes @MercedesHasLeftTheBuilding I can't speak for her, but it seems that she's saying that many Black womben think any kind of white man will be better than Black men (who many of them have been abused by) and don't vet properly.
I think womben also do this with rich men. Any kind of man that's different from the ones they've traditionally been oppressed/mistreated by is some sort of savior type to them. Not true.
VET THEM ALL. THOROUGHLY.
@Lexi88 You preached.
@Patricia Kayden And not just "cushy" (I hate to sound like its all about retaining money) lifestyles, but any kind of lifestyle.
@Patricia Kayden A lot of abused womben can't figure out if/how they should get out of relationships. I know it seems easy for those of us who just have no tolerance for it, but after working with and for several womben who've been in abusive relationships, I've learned its not that simple for many of them.
Like this womban, a lot of them are scared to put their cushy lifestyles at risk.
I thought it was a real note from jump. I'm sure it really does happen.
Now, if folks wanna use ONE NOTE from someone they don't know to further reiterate their EXISTING disdain for BWIR, that's on them. This is ONE Black womban (who obviously has some issues). If Black womben & men aren't discouraging Black womben from dating Black men based on how they've SEEN them treat many of us, than they can miss me with trying to use a letter as a reason to keep us from dating who we want.
@simply lois I totally agree with your summation. They were his kids in that he was their father; he took care of them and loved them.
I know not all biracial kids look alike, but let's not forget how strong them Jackson genes are. His brother has biracial kids and they still look like Jacksons, even though they're very light-skinned. I just find it highly unlikely for them kids to not have an ounce of his looks.
And yes, I LIVE for MJ. Have all my life. But Lord knows that man could, "stretch the truth."
2 months ago on Why we should be concerned about the attacks on Michael Jackson’s children
@DU2 I'm sorry, but I could swear I was responding to CNS. In fact, if you look at my responses, that's exactly who I was responding to.
I made it pretty clear how I know about her behavior and why I think that makes HER DBR. I know of it because she's treated ME poorly for no reason and I know she's treated the people who work under poorly for no reason (because I've heard it WITH MY OWN EARS several times and heard it from people who work under her several times). I'm NOT dealing with hearsay. I'm talking about what I've heard. I'm not assuming ANYTHING. You obviously aren't reading my whole responses (which is why you thought it was directed to you and how you totally missed the part where I said how I know she's nasty to other people).
In my opinion, someone who treats their own assistant like sh*t simply because they're an assistant is not a good person. I have far less respect for someone like that than someone who's slept with who she wanted to sleep with.
My point is, you all are applying the politics of respectability to this based on who you think is publicly respectable. MH is NOT respectable! She's mean and nasty to people who are trying to support her! Therefore, lets just say all womben deserve respect and that covers everyone. But noooooo, some of you are too busy thinking that if you behave and are seen as respectable, that'll prevent you from being the victim of sexism.
As Toni said, some of you all are DETERMINED to miss the point of the post. She also said, "Now, no one's asking you to go out in the street and MARCH for this woman. But at least give a damn, if not for her, for yourself. Because one day, someone who is NOT a black woman may be standing between you and justice. And I hope they look at you with the compassion and understanding that you would want for yourself, without asking you to look at your life and your choices and prove to them that you are a human being deserving of someone to stand up for you."
You all have a good day.
2 months, 4 weeks ago on Why You Should Care About the Fact that Lil' Wayne Has Disrespected Chris Bosh's Wife, Adrienne Bosh
@Neecy @Elegance Why did he call out ANY WOMBAN AT ALL? None of them had anything to do with it. He picked the womban he thought was the easiest target, but she shouldn't have been a target at all! That's the point!
@Elegance @Neecy Its clear ou don't understand what I mean when I say the "politics of respectability" so I'm thinking my points will be lost on you. Quick synopsis; its the idea that if you're respectable enough, people will treat you well. It doesn't work. Patriarchy and sexism will attack even the most respectable womben. Trust.
Have a good day.
@zabeth @Neecy Seriously? Seriously? You really think I'm aware these things haven't happened to Black womben? Ok...
Look, good luck with thinking that only fighting sexism when its directed against Black womben will eradicate patriarchy. Good luck with that, indeed.
@Elegance @Neecy Being held accountable for the mistakes she has made involve being prosecuted (if she really used an illegal scheme to get money out of him). Being held accountable is not being the object of an attack involving a situation THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. Making mistakes or bad decisions does not give people a pass to attack you whenever they want at anytime.
Nobody is trying to make womben out to be helpless victims. We can always fight against misogyny, which means we're never helpless. My point is, if you all really think him attacking her was all about her past, you're kidding yourself. It was about the fact that SHE'S A WOMBAN. Had he gotten mad at a man you were dating, he would've said the same thing about YOU.
Jamila, I truly admire you for writing this (especially after seeing a lot of the conversation). This is why sexism will never be eradicated. Too many womben, even those who deem themselves anti-misogyny, want to practice the "politics of respectability" because they honestly think this will keep them from being victims of such attacks. *smh* Sad.
@Neecy Do you do any of these things? I doubt it. Yet, misogyny can still touch you. I hope you don't think that the life you lead is something that prevents you from becoming a target of sexism. All that this takes is what's between your legs, not what's in your past, your heart, or your head.
When this fool calls womben "b*tches" and "hoes," he's not just talking about the womben he's encountered. He's talking about all of us. When the people who listen to him or who think like him use those words, they're talking to all of us too. I've walked down the street and ignored someone trying to "holla" at me and have had some sick & nasty rap line yelled at me as I walked down the street. Just for ignoring this person.
To me, it sounds like you're preaching the politics of respectability and that doesn't work.
@Neecy So, we only speak up for womben who are also against misogyny? Really? If that were the case, we wouldn't be speaking up for most womben who were subjugated by men. We certainly wouldn't be speaking on behalf of the vast majority of domestic assault and rape victims.
The fact of the matter is, men will say, "I f*cked her," as a way to insult ANY WOMBAN, regardless of her past. And these men who treat womben like objects will talk about ANY womban like that. That includes me and you and any womban who stands up against patriarchy. They don't just pick the ones who are complicit in sexism to attack.
Like I said, I don't know these folks and I'm not really concerned about her, per se. I'm concerned about the fact that men still use the fact that they've slept with a womban as a way to insult her. As if a womban sleeping with various men is something that lessens her value or is something she should be ashamed of. I'm concerned about that because it could happen to me and all the other womben I know and love. Who cares if she was ok with it? That's not exactly the point (or at least I don't think it is...Jamila would have to clarify).
Actually, NO, Mellody doesn't hide who she is very well at all. Now, of course, if you only know her from her GMA segments and articles on finance, you'd have no way of knowing how she treats her subordinates. Since she's certainly not the type to have gossip blogs written about her, if you haven't actually had interactions with her, or you don't personally know people who have, you wouldn't know that she treats her subordinates and people she doesn't deem as being on her level like poo.
I'm curious...do you actually know anyone who's had real & regular contact with her or people who work for her? Honestly, it doesn't sound like you do.
My point is, you're willing to come to the defense of a womban who's really not that nice of a person because her public persona says she is. But, you're not willing to come to the defense of a womban who you ALSO DON'T KNOW because of what some rappers have said about her. In my opinion, MH is a DBR too. I don't care that she has success, money, or a rich white fiance. She's a mean & nasty person to the people who actually have contact with her. Certainly, she must be damaged in some way if she feels like she has to put other people down in order to feel better about herself. In my opinion, that makes her far more of a DBR than a womban who's exercised her rights to sleep with whomever she pleases.
@MySmile @Toni_M Girl, don't even GO there! I've had such ugly arguments with other Black womben about EC! They really seem to think the fact that he raped Black womben as practice for raping white womben is perfectly fine. Simply a means to an end (as if the end was honorable). I mean, I actually had to end a friendship because the argument got so ugly.
ITA that a man will only treat you the way you let him, but real men won't mistreat you regardless of what you do! Real men realize that you're worthy of respect because you're a HUMAN, just like them.