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Awesome post! :D

1 day, 2 hours ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women

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@Marine949 @_Toni_


OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY. XD


Forgive me, I just woke up.

1 day, 8 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@Marine949


Still not over the fact that she was RESCUED from the rape by a white man (from Holland) but the person went right into, "this man's not accountable for his actions. It's the system's fault".


What was most disturbing about the first-hand account of the victim is that the man CLEARLY knew what he was doing was wrong and enjoyed it.


His attitude and behavior was akin to modern rapists, and I'm struggling to understand why this source would completely overlook this in order to try and paint it as "he wouldn't have raped her if not for slavery".




....UGH.

1 day, 8 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@Marine949


There has been discussion about this on other BWE spaces.


I went looking for links and I found an article documenting a black male slave raping a free black woman. And the article pretty much went out of the way to excuse the male rapist because "it was the white man's fault".


As I'm in full on CAN'T mode, I am not doing anymore research.



Anyone else want to help him out?

1 day, 8 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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Also, I actually woke up expecting there to be a huge fight or a bunch of trolls in this post, and I'm glad that's not the case. 



1 day, 17 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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Those typos are driving me nuts and there's nothing I can do because I don't have editing powers on the back end.


*timidly*


Could someone get the typos/errors for me please? There's only a few, but they're glaring to me. :((((

1 day, 17 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@Calypso2


They didn't care, so long as they got her looking as "light and bright" as possible, which they felt made her more desirable to their BM audience.


The idea that they saw nothing wrong with doing that to this dark-skinned black woman makes me want to puke.

2 days, 2 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@MeliaFavors @formeonly That one is definitely mentally unbalanced.

2 days, 2 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@Brenda55 @formeonly


He was telling on himself in that regard. He probably DOES date white women because he hopes it hurts white men's feelings.


Racists are going to feel a certain way...but then, how is he any better when he makes stupid statements like this?


If only people could realize just how dumb they sound.


2 days, 2 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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While I was scrolling back through, crying over typos, I saw that Serena Williams cover and I admit it still fills me with rage.


I just want to slap whoever thought that cover was a good idea. 



HARD.

2 days, 3 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@Allandise Rashire I think BW of a certain age fear the traitor brush.


Many younger BW do not care. They laugh at BM who try to say this, I've seen it.


BM have made their preference for lighter non-BW so obvious to the entire planet that their credibility is non-existent.

2 days, 9 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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I'm glad that people understand what I was trying to do with this article. I'm sorry it's so long and I was tempted to split it...but even though it's a LONG one, I felt that everything needed to be said at once.


This is probably the most blunt I've ever been as I usually self-edit quite a bit if you can believe it. 


Understand that I do not think we are at a place as black women where we can afford to be polite, mince words, coddle, and make exceptions.



It doesn't work.



And I think the black women who are trying to do this are pretty much the same ones that are dying off in one way or another. So it will be interesting to see what happens when they're gone.


2 days, 9 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@jazzyfae45


Oh y'all don't know trolling. I remember how it was when this community was pre-modded and experiencing growing pains.


....It was BAD. :|

2 days, 9 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@marie_christine2


These issues are known to some black women and brand new to others. Black girls are growing up each year and you never know when they'll come across this site, read an article and have that revelation.


So "shutting up" about it is convenient for some black women because they already know. But some others are just finding out and those emotions are FRESH.



If you don't want to discuss it or approach it or support them, you are welcome to avoid these discussions altogether.



Also, from one lighter black woman to another, recognize that owning your privilege means recognizing that dark-skinned women are within their right to be on their guard against persons who have shade/white/male privilege.


Especially if persons inadvertently use that privilege to try and dictate behavior and the flow of discussion. Not saying you're doing that, but you have to be careful as to not come across as doing that to people.

2 days, 9 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@trinigirl1 @Neil Marsden I'm getting them approved as I spot them. XD Gonna check the back end.

2 days, 10 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@keimiasmoon OMG, I got my links mixed up. I'll fix it when I get home!

2 days, 10 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@PoetOfDarkness


It's funny because I was in the middle of writing a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT follow-up post, and then this fell into my lap courtesy of the wave of BM concern trolls.


I'll be getting to that one at some point in the near future.

2 days, 13 hours ago on Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

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@allie1231 @trinigirl1


I think a lot of it is that black men are under the impression that if they own up to their dysfunction, it would validate white racism.


The problem is that the issues remain, whether white racists say anything or not.


Also, there is a LOT of hard work that must be done to repair the damage. A lot of emotional, mental, and physical heavy lifting.


It's always been easy to put it on black women, the "backbone" of the black community. 



But "easy" doesn't change anything or improve anything....

2 days, 14 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@onmywayup


I had to find this because I couldn't believe someone would be so dumb as to post this mess to the internet. He ended up deleting the comment, probably because he realized just how stupid he looked when conveying this to people outside of his "I hate black women" bubble.


I hope he at least took the suggestion to go find a therapist.

2 days, 14 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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Ultimately, I feel this is why we hear from married black men as well as unmarried black men practically demanding we hold up on dating and marrying "out".

The entire agenda serves the exclusive interests of black men.

This is a good part of the reason why these men have no intention of advertising at black women who are interested in them and why they are so invested in who black women date...even though the MAJORITY of BW continue to date intra-racially.

I think the more black women who are sexually fulfilled by white men and open about it, the more threatening it is to the Mandingo Myth that black men hold dear.

What's ESPECIALLY twisted is that the Mandingo Myth was born out of white racism. Black men being hyper-sexualized worked to the advantage of these men and their egos because they enjoy male privilege.

The hyper-sexualization of black women worked against us because of sexism, which is why black men are so comfortable enforcing negative sexual tropes about black women. They have male privilege and are not harmed in the way that black women and girls are harmed.

So when black women declare their desire to be with white men, they view it as a threat to the view that they are the "sexiest" men on Earth and all women want them.

It doesn't matter if white women are chasing after them if BLACK women are telling everyone they are perfectly happy with a non-BM, and especially a non-BM that cannot be claimed by proxy....

2 days, 14 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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So basically I unloaded in the new post, but I just want to re-post a point I made here as I feel it's relevant:


"...You can’t go around telling the world that you are God’s gift to women and “all white men have small peens” and then not end up with egg on your face when BLACK WOMEN date/marry white men.


Hispanic/Italian men are “forgivable” to black men because black men can “claim” these men by proxy.

But much of the concern trolling of white men and black women comes from the need to claim sexual superiority. This is why black women who are with white men are attacked as gold diggers and “white slave master bed wenches”.

These black men want everyone to believe that a black woman wouldn’t choose a white man unless she HAD to. Her credit must be bad and she’s a desperate money loving whore or she’s a self-hating black woman who is soooo emotionally damaged, she wants to live out some “slave fantasy”.The idea that a black woman could be sexually fulfilled by a white guy is terrifying. 
[T]hese men are used to being supported and cared for by WOMEN. And so the idea that they would be responsible for the lion share of protecting, providing for, and valuing their black women is foreign."


They are afraid black women will make them lose face, and they would rather avoid losing face than losing black women. I honestly believe that’s slightly MORE scary than the loss of financial support."

2 days, 15 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@Swirlgirl28


I was thinking it, but I didn't want to say it. Often when these men talk about their "black" wives, it's women who aren't dark-skinned.


Which is another reason I find the concern trolling so damn ridiculous.

2 days, 16 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@DarlingNikki69


I'm not mad either. 


I just don't understand how anything he said about black women is OUR concern as black women not seeking black men. There is not a shortage of black women, and I'm sure that if "good black men" want "good black women", there are plenty of black women exclusively seeking them.


I'm actually QUITE certain.


So...what's the point of jumping over those women to preach at the non-interested black women?

2 days, 16 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@Christelyn  @Sameriah 99 @allie1231


It's funny because my mom dated inter-racially before she married my black dad. They've been together for decades, but at no point have I ever sense their marriage hinged on who other black people do/don't marry.


So how happy can your marriage be if you're concern-trolling who unmarried black women end up with?

2 days, 16 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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I noticed this last night but was too tired to form coherent thoughts:


Why did this black man write to us to tell us about his MARRIED friends.


Why didn't he at least show up with names and numbers for UNMARRIED black men? Why is this guy concern trolling us about exercising our options, but isn't concerned enough to point the single women in the direction of unmarried black men?



I always find it interesting when these concern trolls come at us, but still expect black women to go court and chase men. THIS IS BACKWARDS.


Also, why go through all of this (asking again, I don't care) with BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE DATING INTER-RACIALLY?



Contact Essence, Madam Noire, and all the various black women/black men sites!


Why is this OUR problem?

2 days, 16 hours ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@Brenda55 @Quita2 @_Toni_


It is a TOME!


I am going to go over it in the morning because I was busy with work this afternoon.


Let's hope it's so long that no one trolls! \o/

3 days ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@desertdiva 2015 This comment is hilarious because I haven't been on this article for much of the day.


#itaintme

3 days ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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Not to mention that black men are FAMOUS for making black women jump through hoops without even seriously hinting at marriage. 


So many black women are so happy to present their credentials, but many non-black women don't have to do any of that. It's pretty much a running joke in greater society.


I don't know. I'm too sleepy for this. Good night all...

3 days ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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Yeah....there is nothing "positive" coming from the ladies if that's what he was hoping for. This is like the worst possible group of black women to ask or even demand hold off on exercising their dating options to get with men who feel that they are entitled to tell them who they can and can't date and why.


It's just not a good look, not a good idea, and these black men are simply better off trying their luck elsewhere. 


I don't know why this was expected to go well. O_o



3 days ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@simplylois @_Toni_ But this only proves the absolute disingenuous nature of these men.


They love all black women and want good black women, and yet here they are...in the faces of black women who AREN'T checking for them.


We're not interested for a plethora of reasons, but that doesn't negate the fact that we are vastly outnumbered by black women who do.


I find it hard to believe that there aren't quality black women among that number.



So exactly why do these black men think that they are entitled to the undivided attention of black women who aren't specifically interested in them?


You can't treat women in a condescending and manipulative manner and think this will make you endearing. 



3 days ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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I don't get WHY they're telling this to us. WHY us? 


Why aren't they crying at black women on black love sites and black-centric sites? Why are they bothering women who won't date them?


We're being "unfair" but these men are telling it to the last black women on Earth who will date them. Shouldn't they be having this "there are good black men" conversation with the black women who WANT them?

3 days ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”

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@Brenda55 @_Toni_


Awesome. :)


If it doesn't go up LATE tonight, it will definitely go up tomorrow. 



Talk you all later!


3 days, 8 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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Apologies, I've been off working on another post. It's a bit lengthy and I've got some editing to do, but in the meantime I'm back on patrol.


If someone acts up, just flag the comment.



Also, I really wish BW would STOP thinking that because they landed a black man that it entitles them to silence other black women on black women's issues.


We don't know you or your husband and your marriage does not negate the rampant dysfunction caused by black male privilege coupled with aggressive shadism and misogyny acted out against black women.


If anything, your coming here in defense of your husband rather than in defense of yourself is only a validation of the sentiments expressed.




Aaaaaand, we are not interested in your opinions on our IRR preferences. So...bye.

3 days, 8 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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This post is the gift that keeps giving, I swear.


If only the gifts weren't shiny golden packages with horse dung on the inside. :/

3 days, 11 hours ago on Kanye’s Comments About Amber Rose Highlights How White Women Are “Always” Virtuous No Matter How Skeezy Their Past.

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To WHOM it may concern:


Nobody here cares WHO black men date. By all means taste the rainbow.


The point isn't who Kanye or any other black man dates. The POINT is that you color-struck black males are so obsessed with whiteness, you want everyone to know that black womanhood is "dirty".


Black women are exercising options to benefit ourselves and to escape the psychological monopoly of accepting that it's okay to be used and abandoned by black men. Even to the point of allowing NON-BLACK WOMEN to replace them as the representatives of black womanhood.


And then these same black men turn around and call NON-BLACK/PRACTICALLY NON-BLACK WOMEN "dirty" by association with black womanhood?



THAT is where we have a problem.



Even now the VAST majority of black women are protective of black men and their image...even as these same black men fail time and again to reciprocate.


You don't value your mothers, daughters, sisters, and it shows. And we're tired of it.


The fact that even non-black women are considered dirty by association with black womanhood and black men are giving "ho passes" to white women while playing the madonna/whore game with black women, MESSING these women up for life, it's too much.



I am over it. I am tired of it. And if you don't want to be blasted you have two options



(1) put on your big boy pants and get over to black male and black-centric sites and actively call out the black men behaving in this manner. If that includes YOU, then you need to stop.


(2) get away from this site, because you are trying the wrong one, and I will hurt each and every one of your feelings.



Thank you and good bye.




3 days, 11 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@Statuesque @_Toni_


OH MY GOD did you SEE that black guy trying to promote "West African Culture" (I am willing to bet this person never set a single foot anywhere on the African continent...) because of the supposed matriarchal societies?


Less intelligent or naive black women would miss the implication, but basically what this guy was trying to float was the idea of black women running households THEMSELVES because "that's what some tribes in Africa" do.


So AMERICAN black men are suddenly off the hook for abandoning their women and children to fend for themselves.



I cannot even. I just CAN'T...

3 days, 12 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@onmywayup @_Toni_ @BlackWomenGetYours


Of course Messence entertained that garbage.

3 days, 12 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@coco78728 It's coming. That other post was the gift that kept on giving....

3 days, 12 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@PoetOfDarkness


The other part of it I was saving for a second follow-up post (yes there is another one!), but I will say that more so than changing romantic options, a lot of black women just have to change their thinking.


This is VERY difficult because you have an entire community build on teaching black girls to devalue themselves and make everyone else their priority, telling them they only win when OTHERS win. Sadly, these same people harping this message are doing so with the intent of using/exploiting black women and then abandoning them in their time of need.


So much has to shift mentally and emotionally for a number of black women to see positive change; re-considering their dating options and only allowing themselves to be with men who value them is just a slice of that.

3 days, 12 hours ago on Want To Know What Black Men REALLY Think Of Black Womanhood? Ask Kanye!

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@formeonly @_Toni_ @coco78728


And for a comment that had NOTHING to do with the point. 


The levels of obtuseness are astounding. O_o

3 days, 12 hours ago on Kanye’s Comments About Amber Rose Highlights How White Women Are “Always” Virtuous No Matter How Skeezy Their Past.

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@PoetOfDarkness @HitchcockHeroine


I am actually happy when people find love, no matter who it's with...but it seems like black men are more interested in throwing their white women in the faces of black women then considering the possibility that said black women DON'T. CARE.


The fact that Kanye is with lighter/brighter women isn't the point, the race of these women isn't the point.


And I'm beyond entertaining commenters that run up in here determined to IGNORE the point and preach irrelevant garbage at us.



"Love who you want to" has nothing to do with black men putting down black womanhood. We are not going to shut up about this problem.


Black men can show up and post all their white women wives, girlfriends, and hooker buddies. Not the point. Not remotely the point. 


We don't care, and we're not going to be silenced.

3 days, 12 hours ago on Kanye’s Comments About Amber Rose Highlights How White Women Are “Always” Virtuous No Matter How Skeezy Their Past.

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