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@Silverroxen The answer as to how is indoctrination. As for why, it's the same with any abusive relationship: the victim is groomed to normalize and internalize the abuse.


It's why these women don't leave. They rationalize the behavior of the abuser and justify staying "out of love".


Only when someone is mentally and emotionally strong enough to walk away can they do so.

1 day, 8 hours ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@Christelyn It's hilarious to me that people act like you have a gun to their head. The only thing you're "forcing" people to do is think.


God forbid people use their brains. <.<  

1 day, 8 hours ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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I fully intended to stay away from this mess after  they completely ruined the history associated with the REAL Annabelle doll:


http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Annabelle


The doll and original story was scary enough on its own. But of course many Hollywood hacks have no sense of subtly or ability to tell a good story.



On top of that, they went ahead and added  this bigoted trope? So disgusting.

1 day, 16 hours ago on Despite “Scandal” and HTGAWM, We’re Still Fighting Against the “Mammy” Trope

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@mzsunshine "People will show you who they are; we just have to be willing to see it."


YES!


That is exactly it. It's not just enough to expect others to be honest; you must be willing to be honest with yourself.


Far too many people are willing to entertain deception because they want to believe the lie. Even if someone tells the truth, often the lie becomes what they tell themselves.


Self-deception can be more dangerous than the deception acted out by others...

2 days, 15 hours ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth!

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Moderator's note:


Black women are not dumb.


It's not cute to act like black women are "crazy" for expecting a man to say something and his actions follow his words. That is something called "honesty", and men who behave this way have something else called "integrity".


Integrity.

Honesty.


These are character traits that black women are encouraged to look for.


Nobody here is trying to be a "booty call" for some lowlife who has no intention of following through on a relationship, and only seeks to use her.


Please do not pretend that we're talking about short-term desires; we're talking about how black women can have LONG-TERM healthy relationships, leading to marriage if that's what the woman desires.


No, none of the women this video is addressed towards will expect a marriage proposal after knowing a man only a few short weeks. 


But as one member demonstrated, some men want exclusive access to a woman's time, body, and money while offering NOTHING in return. Except their penis and a lot of bull crap.


Rather than women stick around to be strung along, we're encouraging black women to cut the string and seek out men who will love and respect them.


If that isn't you, then you need to bounce. o/

2 days, 17 hours ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth!

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@Christelyn  @Brenda55 @thecrazyartist


I know! Such an amazing 180 degree turn from last week. :D

4 days, 16 hours ago on We Broke $5,000 in just THREE Days! Get Your “Troll Tears” Sippy Cup Today!

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@SarahCarson Yes you will.


Chris is leaving the page open indefinitely. :)

5 days, 15 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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Yay! I can tell this is going to be a great series. :D

5 days, 18 hours ago on Challenge! Can You Be the BEST Version of You?

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" I do have a father in my life, although growing up, Its been more than clear that my mother has done most of the work in our lives. Buying clothes, paying bills, and food. We never really had a typical father daughter relationship depicted in tv land."


I find it interesting that you volunteered this information in the middle of a declaration that you are exclusively attracted to older men.


It could be that you were hoping to preemptively shoot down accusations that you do not have a father at all in your life, however the positioning of the quote is telling.


It's between your confession that you desire older white men and your admission that black boys your own age do not seem to be attracted to black girls.



I agree that rather than play down your feelings about your father, you should talk to him. And if not him, consider talking out your feelings with a school counselor or therapist.


Black girls are often made to feel older than they are or told that they are "mature" enough to handle a so-called relationship with an older man.


They also come to expect that a healthy relationship with one's father is asking too much. It really isn't. No relationship is absolutely perfect, but I doubt based on what you've shared that you're as okay with your mother doing the lion share of the work to take care of you as you let on.


In a situation like this, the seeking of an older male to love and take care of you is a desire to not have to repeat what you see your mother go through: Having to work extra hard to make up for a man in her life not pulling his weight.



While I won't shame you for your circumstances, I will say that the fact that you're bringing up older WHITE men isn't going to get you a pass, young lady. A predator is a predator and they can be found in any race/ethnic group. You may think you are mature and worldly, but these men have been at this since before you were a twinkle in your father's eye.


As such all you will get at the end of the day is your feelings hurt, and that's if you're lucky. I've known girls your age who got mixed up with stand-in father figures and wound up pregnant and alone. 




Which brings me to a very important point: AGE DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUAL WISDOM OR MATURITY.



Some men mature do with age. Others are still as trifling at fifty as they were at fifteen. And to be blunt, you are way too young to know the difference because often these men are able to dazzle a girl too young to know any better because she lacks the ability to properly vet.


There are things these men can easily get away with a fifteen year old girl that they wouldn't be able to try with even a thirty year old.


Because a thirty year old is a WOMAN. You are NOT a woman, and being with an older man will not make you one or gift you that wisdom.




Finally, fifteen is too dang young to be seriously thinking of anything that is not yourself and your future. As others have said, do not be in a hurry to grow up too fast. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.


Good luck!

6 days, 5 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Not going to lie, I'm excited to see what happens with Daredevil and I'll probably be watching. 

6 days, 22 hours ago on Rosario Dawson to Play Night Nurse in New Daredevil Comic Series from Netflix

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Yay, legal representation! \o/

6 days, 22 hours ago on Video: Update on the BB&W Fund Raising Push!

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@Christelyn What's most amusing about this comment is that these people seem obsessed with YOU as if YOU are the beginning and end of interracial relationships and the progression of black womanhood.


While you are certainly a symbol, the fact that these people cannot wrap their minds around millions of independent black women finding their voice is kind of baffling.


I can't believe these people are so naive as to think this is the only place where black women are talking and thinking about themselves and their best interests. 


Not all of these conversations are happening on the internet. They can't report people's thoughts and experiences or their ability to learn from them.


There is no report button that can be pressed that will stop a black woman from putting two and two together.


The more I look at it the funnier it gets.

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@MarthaLankford The person who pointed that out didn't lie. These people are so deluded they honestly think that if they stop this site that everything will magically revert to what it was ten or twenty years ago.


Chris isn't even anywhere NEAR as blunt as some of the younger girls coming up are. I watched young women laugh these type of emasculated idiots right out of a thread. And they proceeded to tell them about themselves in ways even we don't. 


And this came from a demographic that we have nothing to do with, supposedly closer to the "Guardians of All Things Dark And Lovely".


The cat is already out of the bag, they just happen to be the last ones to realize it. 

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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Wow, I just checked and it's looking like we may actually quadruple the intended goal. I'm so proud of this community. <3

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@Brenda55 I think this is why it's a mistake to focus on reporting what these people are doing to Facebook.


As the whole "drag queen controversy" showed, the only way to get them to budge is to take it to the media.


If anyone has connections in the media, has journalist friends, news bloggers they know, etc. then they want to contact them.


Get this out there: Facebook removes community after caving to pressure of racists.


Posts screen shots of people directly attacking the community for encouraging black women to date interracially.



If this gets out in the media then both the haters and Facebook will have egg on their faces. Definitely a more sensible tactic.

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@The Working Home Keeper I hate (read: love) to be the one to tell them but they can't put the lid back on what's happening.


I've done a bit of traveling around the webs and this is something that is being talked about ALL OVER the place. More and more black women are being vocal about their feelings and no amount of pressure and ignorance can silence them.


They think it's bad now? Wait five years. Ten years. Twenty years.


These clowns think that "their 2,500 strong" can unring a bell that affects MILLIONS? Good luck with that, Lisa.



1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@Christelyn So basically rather than weaken us, the efforts of these people made our community stronger.


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....Ha.

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@Christelyn I don't know whether or not I should be happy about the fact that this fool misspelled ALI.

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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Donated and donating again in a couple of days. 


Be encouraged, Chris. The fact that we popped back up so fast is probably terrifying to these individuals. We have a message that cannot be shut down by running to Facebook and LYING about us.


And once the new forum goes up, you can simply direct visitors there and here. 


With everything so moderated, these sour-faced individuals will be able to do nothing but stay mad and losing.



And no, you haters will NOT be welcome in the new space. So get it all out of your system now, because I expect when things go live you and your irrelevant opinions will be non-existent.


:)

1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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"Black women are socialized to not expect marriage and a present father for their kids, like…at all."


Not to mention the idea of expecting this as a bare minimum is often shot down by "who do you think you are" and "you think you better than me?" brigade. :/


The fact that this clown can father 34 kids by 17 women, none of whom he married, and sit back like he's some kind of hero would be laughable if it weren't so dang sad...

1 week, 1 day ago on The Iyanla Vanzant Cluster Cuss: We BB&W MUST Keep Discussing the High OOW Rate

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@Brenda55 This is great news!

1 week, 4 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…

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If you have the Tweets, screen cap them and send them to Facebook.



1 week, 4 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…

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I still can't believe this happened. I thought it was a mistake. :(

1 week, 4 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…

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How lovely. :D

2 weeks, 1 day ago on John and Jenese–You Will NOT Want to Skip This!

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@oceanspray @_Toni_ @ChocolateDiva Because the comments were set to "mod approval only" due to the influx of new faces and trolls.


It was a preventative tactic, but the worst is long past over so I'm removing the setting. o/

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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Congrats! :)

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

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@caligirl94117 Sorry about that! your comments have been added.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@ChocolateDiva It's kinda funny in a sad way how transparent some people are...

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@DWB @TI89 @Christelyn  ....So am I the only person who read this comment and thought of:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWHOF_0-6Hg


???

2 weeks, 4 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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@Christelyn  @malaena1 I am still waiting for this to make sense to me. It just....doesn't. 

2 weeks, 4 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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@caligirl94117 @TI89 He won't. He'll act like we all defended a black woman who lied about the circumstances of her arrest and then went radio silent when details emerged.


Except, no we didn't. 


Isn't that funny? Would rather insinuate that we lie and support black women who lie than demonstrate one significant incidence of defending black women.


He could have just mumbled something about Rosa Parks but NOPE...

2 weeks, 4 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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I may be nursing a cold but I know a derailment tactic when I see one.


I present the following article: 


http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/yes-daniele-watts-apologize-crying-wolf/



If you people are going to haunt this community at least use derailment tactics that won't leave you with even MORE egg on your face than usual.


*sips tea*


Laughing because under the weather or no,  this took me less than a minute to find. You haters aren't even making it difficult anymore...

2 weeks, 4 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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Allegedly she may have already moved on. To rocker Gene Simmons's son of all people. Didn't see that coming...

2 weeks, 4 days ago on If It Can Happen to Amber Rose…..Why That Marriage Certificate Makes All the Difference in the World

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@Brenda55 "Taking to the street in an ill advised and ill planned emotional response will do nothing to change the situation and will not ensure that justice be done in the case of the young man killed."


The problem is that the only takeaway for a lot of black people from the Civil Rights era were images of black people marching with signs. Not enough time and attention is focused on the court room battles and passage of important laws.


As such you've got young black people thinking, "If we march, things will change" and not "if we go to court or if we take our grievances to Congress things will change".


Look at other minority groups. Not only do they march and protest, they also sue.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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@onmywayup @NavpreetDhillon Thank you, I am now cry-laughing.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@Swirlgirl28 I agree.


It's a certain segment of white women. The problem is that they use their whiteness to "blend in" with other white people and feign ignorance about their actions and the consequences.


This is why I say it's the responsibility of other white women and men to call them out. FAR MORE than it is the responsibility of black women to do so.


And as black women are often pegged with stereotypes of our "meanness" and "aggressive" nature, it rarely works in our favor to call these behaviors out. Even if we're in the right.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@caligirl94117 @The Working Home Keeper @NavpreetDhillon


Bingo. This non-black woman is up in here trying to flex. Not on my watch...

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@Christelyn  @_Toni_ @NavpreetDhillon Academy Award-winning films, mind you.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@Christelyn  @_Toni_ @NavpreetDhillon Thank you for restoring the comment. After thinking about it, I realized this needs to be immortalized for all eternity. 


I am over here GUFFAWING. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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Yeah, we are not gonna do this.


I suggest visitors hit up the "About Us" section of the site and especially familiarize themselves with our Terms of Service.


Just because you are new here does not mean you get to be ignorant and trample all over our site. Especially for the purposes of trolling and derailment.


I will breath fire and brimstone over your entire existence and send you packing. You've been warned....



EDIT:


Commenting has gone into "moderator approved" for now. This doesn't mean non-regular members can't comment. This just means that we're going to pay closer attention to the comments that are approved. 


Thanks for your participation and contribution to this rather engaging discussion!

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@Christelyn  @NavpreetDhillon That kind of willful ignorance is hilarious.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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I can see people are playing dumb.


Do ALL white women feel threatened by black women? Absolutely not. As I've said before, most people don't go around thinking about black people or caring about anything that doesn't directly concern them.



As with every bigot, there are some women who only have their whiteness to recommend them. It doesn't matter HOW pretty a black woman is, whiteness is expected to trump it. Or at least they can stand it if a man prefers another white woman because at least "she's white like me". 


This attitude is inherent in various microaggressions that are acted out by white women. Not all white women, but enough to suggest that there is the issue of white racism as acted out by white women that is routinely denied and never addressed.


I think that as black women are shown to be more desirable than they have in previous decades we will see an increase in microaggressive behaviors to the point where it will become too obvious to deny.


White women who are NOT racist, and who do not participate in these behaviors, here is where YOU come in: Rather than rush to tell black women that what they wonder about and have experienced is overblown, untrue, or their imagination (or try to derail the discussion to talk about black women's jealousy of WW/BM couples) you should step up and speak out against white women who act out in this racist and problematic matter. Call them out on it everytime you observe it online and in life and let them know that it's unaccepable.



As a black woman, I have neither white privilege nor male privilege, so I cannot afford to pretend that this isn't an issue as BW IRR becomes more common. Just because BW are a small number doesn't mean that there aren't enough of us to make waves.


The fact that this site exists and that this discussion exists and so many new faces are tripping over each other to come in here and give their opinions says otherwise....


2 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@The Working Home Keeper Just popped back in to say I love the new icon. :D

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

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As someone looking to step up her yoga game, this post is right on time. :)


Thanks, Chris!

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Want Creamy (Yet Firm) Thighs? This Yoga Pose is for You!

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If saying you're something is all it takes rather than a demonstrated effort, then I declare myself queen of the universe. I mean I'm as much queen of the universe as these men are good by their logic.


Where are my statues? Where are my intergalactic holidays? Where is my harem of muscular, half-naked male models?



In all seriousness, it's pretty sad that some men have so little regard for black women that they will come to a place where we encourage black women to aim for the moon and try and sell themselves as something other than scum rolling around at the bottom of the ocean. :/


These comments are why I encourage black women read a book or take a course in critical reading and thinking. You won't always have an Ebony around to rip back the curtains and expose so called "supportive" black men like Mr. Snowflake. You need to recognize for yourself what kind of men you are dealing with when these type of people come at you.


Great post!

3 weeks ago on Three men who say they are “good.” Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from.

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@Caribqueen There are plenty of "nice" no drama articles, it's just that anything controversial tends to get attention. If there is a particular topic you'd like to talk about rather than this, feel free to submit it!

3 weeks ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

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