Eastern United States
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@Law Wanxi @_Toni_ I've always wanted to try shrimp chips. Any recommendations?
14 hours, 19 minutes ago on Why Are Sisters at the Ivy Leagues Still Caught Up in the Matrix?
Good blog post. I've got to go out but I'll be back later for a more in depth comment.
17 hours, 12 minutes ago on Why Are Sisters at the Ivy Leagues Still Caught Up in the Matrix?
@nuntius @Brenda55 @_Toni_ I still can't believe that "Yoko Broke Up The Beatles" was allowed to be a serious explanation. Especially considering the fact that it was clear they were four grown men with different ideas heading in different directions.
Actually, I've heard the "women ruin everything" meme before, though usually it's in matters of sports. Quarterback choked during the big game? Must have been his girlfriend/wife's fault for distracting him. Footballer misses the free kick? He couldn't concentrate because his WAG was in the stands instead of at home/WAG was at home when she should have been there supporting her man.
Suddenly men aren't capable of making their own decisions. To some people, women are just a "Delilah" waiting with a pair of scissors.
21 hours, 24 minutes ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@Brenda55 @_Toni_ :D
21 hours, 34 minutes ago on Holiday Off Topic Thread
@Brenda55 @Hallyu Love I feel like a jackass because I thought that threads were non-existent because they didn't transfer over when we switched to the new site. ^^' I'll make note of this.
As for missing comments. Well, I used the wayback machine/internet archive for certain articles and was able to see some of the cached comments.
That might work depending on the article!
1 day, 6 hours ago on Holiday Off Topic Thread
Every time I see this thread title in my inbox, I feel a note of panic and realize that yet again, I will probably be doing last minute Christmas shopping. XD
Praying that I make the magic happen sometime before December 15th
@nuntius @_Toni_ " Within the world of "asian fetish", "yellow fever" or "submissive flower", there are straight up ugly hints of conquest, domination, and bigotry."
I'm half sleep so I can't say everything on this that I want to...but I have to say that A LOT of the blowback against feminism had to do with men resenting women for giving up domestic roles in pursuit of higher education, better paying jobs....and not being property.
It did seem as if early waves of "yellow fever" was based on a desire for "replacement property".
However....not all white men see non-white women as property or something to fetishize. Sometimes there are qualities observed in a woman that makes her attractive. If she's unusual, it just makes her more interesting.
I say this because in your response I see echoes of the fear a lot of black women have that white men see them as exotic animals or worse, have some sort of slave master fantasy they want to live out.
Asian women in this regard are at a disadvantage in the media because if a television show EVER played up the "black women as a willing slave girl" trope....yeah, it would not be pretty.
Though I'm trying to decide how recently I saw that trope directed at Asian women and whether or not there was controversy. The fact that I recall multiple television shows where this was a thing involving Asian women makes me wonder why more hadn't been said about it.
Still, I do have faith that women won't fall into the arms of creeps. Even some men have misogynistic tendencies towards women, there's no law saying you have to end up with them. o/
1 day, 6 hours ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@nuntius @_Toni_ I hope this makes more sense regarding what I was trying to say. I get loopy when I get sleepy. -.-
@nuntius @_Toni_ Sorry, I'm half sleep so I'm babbling. Let me try this again.
"I have to beg pardon, but I don't think that Asian American women in the 70s, individually or collectively, ever consciously sought to take back femininity from the feminists."
That's not what I meant. I feel like as far as I can tell, one group started to "rise" in feminine estimations as the other "sank".
I thought of that particular time period, late sixties, early seventies, because that's basically the time period from where I encountered media that had Chinese women as the "submissive feminine woman stereotype". It was a rerun of an old "Laredo" episode.
I don't necessarily think it's a marvelous stereotype (I cringed like whoa and didn't finish the episode), as it was partnered with the "exotic servant/slave girl" stereotype. While eye-rolling on it's own, the combination was...disturbing.
However, that's not the only such image of Asian women I saw. They were beautiful and graceful and feminine more and more. Today nobody knows what a "Dragon Lady" is. But we still see the face of "Mammy" and "Sapphire" and "Feisty Latina". and "Chola". You could argue "Tiger Mom", but for the most part the largely negative images of Asian women as some sort of untrustworthy and low class other has dissipated.
Did it dissipate through the power of Asian women in America? Probably not as Asian women don't have that kind of power and influence. But it does seem that when it came to picking men that wanted a feminine alternative to white women, more Asian women went left than right.
While I do see and know of Asian women who hate the feminine stereotypes, Asian women do not have a vocal group of women out there telling white men to shove it because they only want Asian Men. I don't see Asian women represented in the media as argumentative, crass, and rude. And I don't see Asian women across various cultures demanding that the media adjust their collective image to be represented as such.
Asian women are way underrepresented as it is, and that could be the reason. Why ask for negative stereotypes when you can hardly get a minute of screen time? And that lack of negative publicity (or demand for it) did wonders over time.
@nuntius @_Toni_ "And the women became hyper fetishized because they were unknown and mysterious, a consequence from being likely sheltered by families from raging American libidos."
Boy does that sound familiar...
@nuntius @_Toni_ Also I'm honored that you spoke to me because you never speak. O_O
1 day, 7 hours ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@kia "Asian women weren't always desired by other men either"
This is something that a lot of black women don't seem to grasp. In fact, I think you can coincide the rise in popularity of Asian women with the rise in white feminism, going back to the seventies.
Asian women in America saw a window of opportunity to make over their image and they seized it by not being dumb and listening to other women go "why should I change how people see me?" or "why should I work to improve?" If Asian women as a group behaved like that, they'd be more despised in this country than black women today and certainly not desired by non-Asian men.
"Black women change themselves/modify their looks all the time for black men, but when they're told to slightly modify or improve their behavior or look in any way to attract other races of men, its considered outrageous."
Black women won't swim because God forbid their hair "don't look laid for Zeus", but applying the same amount of energy and concern to being attractive to a wider pool of men? Smelling salts are required.
I'll never understand the logic some women have. :S
1 day, 11 hours ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@jake smith @Christelyn Actually...I don't think she feels pretty. She strikes me as EXTREMELY image conscious. I mean look at all the work she's had done and make-up she wears.
1 day, 18 hours ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@Brenda55 @_Toni_ @astridhallows Ah, okay. I saw the "flagged comment" in my inbox and was like, "O_o"
If there is positive advice to be had towards improving one's image and pool of relationship options, I am all for it regardless of whether the person sharing is black or Asian.
I was misled into thinking by the tone of the comment out of context that it was a matter of dismissing the unique situation that African American women have, and coming for American born black women when we don't make enough disclaimers about how we don't represent all black women.
The situation here is as I said unique, just as it is in various countries where black women find themselves. I'm biased so I'm going to say we're at a greater disadvantage domestically than these women.
Yes, black women in America have a "femininity" problem. Some foreign-born black women do not realize HOW BAD this problem is because the men in their ethnic groups and countries of origin do not view their women the way American men typically view African American women.
But that's as a group. As an individual, you are able to polish yourself however you choose. It's just about getting the right amount of useful and sincere advice and then following it.
2 days, 8 hours ago on Weekend Read: Book Recommends Black Women Take Notes From Asian Women If They REALLY Want to #Win at Swirling
@astridhallows EDIT. My bad. This is what happens when you view comments in the inbox that take you to a single comment and don't show you the whole thread.
This is timely:
3 days, 11 hours ago on On Men Popping the Quesion: Which Race Gets it Right (Or At Least Less Wrong)
@smartacus I remember seeing this on the news. :S Talk about a lack of judgement.
I think before you even THINK of pulling a stunt like that, you need to know that woman wants to marry you and I'd wait to observe whether or not she goes for big and pompous surprises.
I think the biggest test would be doing something like that for her birthday or valentine's day where it's not about asking her to marry you but just giving her a huge present of some kind while singling her out in front of a lot of people. If she freaks out, you know that's not how you want to propose. If she thinks that surprises like that are the most romantic thing ever...well, there you go. Always "test drive" a concept like that.
Just above all else, know that a woman actually wants to marry you before you put yourself waaaaaaay out there. Some guys just assume that because they like a girl she wants to marry him. Right then. Some girls don't want to get married. And some girls don't want to get married to you.
So it's always good to keep these thoughts in mind regarding who you're dating. Know whether or not she's even thinking about marriage before you risk making a huge jackass of yourself on television. The idea of risking so much and then being ribbed about it everyday for the rest of your life just makes me want to puke in sympathy. :S
And trust that the woman who is in love and wanting to be married isn't going to be that difficult to read on the matter.
4 days, 14 hours ago on On Men Popping the Quesion: Which Race Gets it Right (Or At Least Less Wrong)
" In the end, it’s the marriage, not the proposal that counts."
I think this is the majorly missed point a lot of the time.
EDIT: I hate when I typo and go away. :/
4 days, 15 hours ago on On Men Popping the Quesion: Which Race Gets it Right (Or At Least Less Wrong)
6 days, 14 hours ago on Hilarious Video Pokes Fun of Common Questions White Guys Ask When Dating Black Girls
Great list. :D
1 week ago on BB&W Intern Elizabeth’s 25 Life Lessons