Eastern United States
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@MarthaLankford Have no fear! I am here with the handy *. Which will hopefully keep your comment from getting flagged.
Great comment, by the way. :)
17 hours, 59 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@kennaGransberg @_Toni_ You know what's MOST annoying about his comments the more I think about it?
He spent all his time and energy talking about how good he and his associates are. About how successful they all are.
Yet...at no point did he demonstrate the simple act of speaking up on behalf of black women. He did not recall any instances of calling out black men for saying negative things about black women. Or praising black women's beauty to other men.
He had everything good to say about HIMSELF and nothing to say about the actions required of men who deserve a second glance.
And it's really typical.
A little bit of flattery and a lot of self-praise with the promise of "someday", but no concrete action; not even a pretended example of being there for black women when needed.
I know some want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but all you have to do is read between the lines to see the truth....this man and his ilk are FULL OF IT!
18 hours ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@kennaGransberg I had to reread it because my eyes glazed over. I mean I kept waiting and waiting and WAITING for him to make a point. :/
It turned into an annoying advertisement for "good black men" and a limp promise to do something about those dastardly DBRs...so long as BW "don't give up on their dreams"!
18 hours, 6 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@dani-BBW She is also far more gracious than I. I would not have been able to respond to any of that with a straight face. :S
18 hours, 14 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@jazzyfae45 "But my question is why is he talking to black women on an interracial dating site instead of black women on black love sites?"
Because these women are harder to get at than the desperate BW crying crocodile tears and writing open letters about how "even though black men treat me like crap, I'll always be here!"
I take it these BM see BW not interested in them as more of a challenge with the "bonus" of stealing them away from non-BM.
It's rather gross to me. :/
18 hours, 19 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@Christelyn @ChocolateDiva IT IS JUST LIKE THAT OTHER POST! Where we were talking about the words men use to keep women hanging on so they can string them along!
That is immediately what I thought of. I swear some of these dudes think all black women are asleep...
18 hours, 20 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
I also confess my eyes glazed over so I missed some of the more hilarious bits of gaslighting (which this is, make no mistake...). Let's take a closer look at this politely-dressed nonsense:
I’m a young 36 year old business man, single and without any children right now but plan on having a family one day soon. I love all people and don’t have anything against interracial dating, my mother is a very proud black woman with different ethnic backgrounds but her and my dad raised me to know self and be strong as a man.
What may at first seem like an attempt to shed background on himself as a means of explanation is REALLY this person trying to "advertise" to any desperate black women who may be interested.
This is how these IBM's keep the dream alive.
He tells us he's single and plans to get married someday soon. Someday soon? If this were the truth, why isn't this man out looking for black women DESPERATELY seeking black men? Why is he in the comments section of (1) a black woman married to a white man who (2) heads up an interracial dating community for black women who (3) clearly are not interested in limiting their choices to black men?
Things that make you go, "Hmm."
The reason i’m telling you this is because i don’t want you all to give up on us.
Funny, he started off saying, "you are entitled to have your own mind and feelings."
Was he hoping that change up would slip by the reader? I think a woman who is entitled to her own mind and feelings is ALSO entitled to drop men who string her along, use, and abuse her like a bad habit.
we positive black men are getting ready to step up and speak out on behalf of black women and change our community.
Getting ready to? GETTING READY TO? I'm sorry but "positive" black men have had decades to reverse trends. DECADES. And now that we've moved into "too little, too late" territory, we're supposed to look out for these individuals?
Also this person seems to be operating from the assumption that every black woman who is broadening her options has "given up". Insulting. Some black women never had any intention of limiting themselves. Some black women were simply never checking for black men. Not every black woman is part of a monolith.
Also...not all of us black women operate with a "pain porn" mentality.
18 hours, 21 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
I had to do a double-take because I was pretty sure I'd read one of these IBM sob stories on this site AT LEAST once before. Quite similar.
But you are definitely right, Chris: These self-proclaimed "good black men" now know that the jig is up. And that their failure to correct more obviously DBR black men while benefiting from the status quo is getting them left in the dust as well.
It's always interesting reading these notes from such men, because they always read like they're trying to dangle a carrot in front of your face.
You know how some people have those fishing rods with something you want attached to the string and then when you reach for it, they raise it up so you can't get it? That is precisely the tone I read throughout this comment and I wonder if other BBW members caught onto it.
18 hours, 42 minutes ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@Christelyn First thought: The fro is fabulous!
Second thought: PREACH!
2 days, 8 hours ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
@Silverroxen The answer as to how is indoctrination. As for why, it's the same with any abusive relationship: the victim is groomed to normalize and internalize the abuse.
It's why these women don't leave. They rationalize the behavior of the abuser and justify staying "out of love".
Only when someone is mentally and emotionally strong enough to walk away can they do so.
2 days, 9 hours ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
@Christelyn It's hilarious to me that people act like you have a gun to their head. The only thing you're "forcing" people to do is think.
God forbid people use their brains. <.<
@The Working Home Keeper @Tempaccount You're so pretty. *.*
2 days, 17 hours ago on Your Favorite Stars without Make Up…Don’t Be Afraid to Enhance Your Features!
I fully intended to stay away from this mess after they completely ruined the history associated with the REAL Annabelle doll:
The doll and original story was scary enough on its own. But of course many Hollywood hacks have no sense of subtly or ability to tell a good story.
On top of that, they went ahead and added this bigoted trope? So disgusting.
2 days, 17 hours ago on Despite “Scandal” and HTGAWM, We’re Still Fighting Against the “Mammy” Trope
@mzsunshine "People will show you who they are; we just have to be willing to see it."
That is exactly it. It's not just enough to expect others to be honest; you must be willing to be honest with yourself.
Far too many people are willing to entertain deception because they want to believe the lie. Even if someone tells the truth, often the lie becomes what they tell themselves.
Self-deception can be more dangerous than the deception acted out by others...
3 days, 16 hours ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth!
Black women are not dumb.
It's not cute to act like black women are "crazy" for expecting a man to say something and his actions follow his words. That is something called "honesty", and men who behave this way have something else called "integrity".
These are character traits that black women are encouraged to look for.
Nobody here is trying to be a "booty call" for some lowlife who has no intention of following through on a relationship, and only seeks to use her.
Please do not pretend that we're talking about short-term desires; we're talking about how black women can have LONG-TERM healthy relationships, leading to marriage if that's what the woman desires.
No, none of the women this video is addressed towards will expect a marriage proposal after knowing a man only a few short weeks.
But as one member demonstrated, some men want exclusive access to a woman's time, body, and money while offering NOTHING in return. Except their penis and a lot of bull crap.
Rather than women stick around to be strung along, we're encouraging black women to cut the string and seek out men who will love and respect them.
If that isn't you, then you need to bounce. o/
3 days, 18 hours ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth!
@Christelyn @Brenda55 @thecrazyartist
I know! Such an amazing 180 degree turn from last week. :D
5 days, 17 hours ago on We Broke $5,000 in just THREE Days! Get Your “Troll Tears” Sippy Cup Today!
@SarahCarson Yes you will.
Chris is leaving the page open indefinitely. :)
6 days, 16 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.
Yay! I can tell this is going to be a great series. :D
6 days, 18 hours ago on Challenge! Can You Be the BEST Version of You?
" I do have a father in my life, although growing up, Its been more than clear that my mother has done most of the work in our lives. Buying clothes, paying bills, and food. We never really had a typical father daughter relationship depicted in tv land."
I find it interesting that you volunteered this information in the middle of a declaration that you are exclusively attracted to older men.
It could be that you were hoping to preemptively shoot down accusations that you do not have a father at all in your life, however the positioning of the quote is telling.
It's between your confession that you desire older white men and your admission that black boys your own age do not seem to be attracted to black girls.
I agree that rather than play down your feelings about your father, you should talk to him. And if not him, consider talking out your feelings with a school counselor or therapist.
Black girls are often made to feel older than they are or told that they are "mature" enough to handle a so-called relationship with an older man.
They also come to expect that a healthy relationship with one's father is asking too much. It really isn't. No relationship is absolutely perfect, but I doubt based on what you've shared that you're as okay with your mother doing the lion share of the work to take care of you as you let on.
In a situation like this, the seeking of an older male to love and take care of you is a desire to not have to repeat what you see your mother go through: Having to work extra hard to make up for a man in her life not pulling his weight.
While I won't shame you for your circumstances, I will say that the fact that you're bringing up older WHITE men isn't going to get you a pass, young lady. A predator is a predator and they can be found in any race/ethnic group. You may think you are mature and worldly, but these men have been at this since before you were a twinkle in your father's eye.
As such all you will get at the end of the day is your feelings hurt, and that's if you're lucky. I've known girls your age who got mixed up with stand-in father figures and wound up pregnant and alone.
Which brings me to a very important point: AGE DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUAL WISDOM OR MATURITY.
Some men mature do with age. Others are still as trifling at fifty as they were at fifteen. And to be blunt, you are way too young to know the difference because often these men are able to dazzle a girl too young to know any better because she lacks the ability to properly vet.
There are things these men can easily get away with a fifteen year old girl that they wouldn't be able to try with even a thirty year old.
Because a thirty year old is a WOMAN. You are NOT a woman, and being with an older man will not make you one or gift you that wisdom.
Finally, fifteen is too dang young to be seriously thinking of anything that is not yourself and your future. As others have said, do not be in a hurry to grow up too fast. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.
1 week ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.
Not going to lie, I'm excited to see what happens with Daredevil and I'll probably be watching.
1 week ago on Rosario Dawson to Play Night Nurse in New Daredevil Comic Series from Netflix
Yay, legal representation! \o/
1 week ago on Video: Update on the BB&W Fund Raising Push!
@Oaktown Paul @_Toni_ YAY!
1 week, 1 day ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.
@Christelyn What's most amusing about this comment is that these people seem obsessed with YOU as if YOU are the beginning and end of interracial relationships and the progression of black womanhood.
While you are certainly a symbol, the fact that these people cannot wrap their minds around millions of independent black women finding their voice is kind of baffling.
I can't believe these people are so naive as to think this is the only place where black women are talking and thinking about themselves and their best interests.
Not all of these conversations are happening on the internet. They can't report people's thoughts and experiences or their ability to learn from them.
There is no report button that can be pressed that will stop a black woman from putting two and two together.
The more I look at it the funnier it gets.
@MarthaLankford The person who pointed that out didn't lie. These people are so deluded they honestly think that if they stop this site that everything will magically revert to what it was ten or twenty years ago.
Chris isn't even anywhere NEAR as blunt as some of the younger girls coming up are. I watched young women laugh these type of emasculated idiots right out of a thread. And they proceeded to tell them about themselves in ways even we don't.
And this came from a demographic that we have nothing to do with, supposedly closer to the "Guardians of All Things Dark And Lovely".
The cat is already out of the bag, they just happen to be the last ones to realize it.
Wow, I just checked and it's looking like we may actually quadruple the intended goal. I'm so proud of this community. <3
@Brenda55 I think this is why it's a mistake to focus on reporting what these people are doing to Facebook.
As the whole "drag queen controversy" showed, the only way to get them to budge is to take it to the media.
If anyone has connections in the media, has journalist friends, news bloggers they know, etc. then they want to contact them.
Get this out there: Facebook removes community after caving to pressure of racists.
Posts screen shots of people directly attacking the community for encouraging black women to date interracially.
If this gets out in the media then both the haters and Facebook will have egg on their faces. Definitely a more sensible tactic.
@The Working Home Keeper I hate (read: love) to be the one to tell them but they can't put the lid back on what's happening.
I've done a bit of traveling around the webs and this is something that is being talked about ALL OVER the place. More and more black women are being vocal about their feelings and no amount of pressure and ignorance can silence them.
They think it's bad now? Wait five years. Ten years. Twenty years.
These clowns think that "their 2,500 strong" can unring a bell that affects MILLIONS? Good luck with that, Lisa.
@Christelyn So basically rather than weaken us, the efforts of these people made our community stronger.
@Christelyn I don't know whether or not I should be happy about the fact that this fool misspelled ALI.
Donated and donating again in a couple of days.
Be encouraged, Chris. The fact that we popped back up so fast is probably terrifying to these individuals. We have a message that cannot be shut down by running to Facebook and LYING about us.
And once the new forum goes up, you can simply direct visitors there and here.
With everything so moderated, these sour-faced individuals will be able to do nothing but stay mad and losing.
And no, you haters will NOT be welcome in the new space. So get it all out of your system now, because I expect when things go live you and your irrelevant opinions will be non-existent.
"Black women are socialized to not expect marriage and a present father for their kids, like…at all."
Not to mention the idea of expecting this as a bare minimum is often shot down by "who do you think you are" and "you think you better than me?" brigade. :/
The fact that this clown can father 34 kids by 17 women, none of whom he married, and sit back like he's some kind of hero would be laughable if it weren't so dang sad...
1 week, 2 days ago on The Iyanla Vanzant Cluster Cuss: We BB&W MUST Keep Discussing the High OOW Rate
@Brenda55 This is great news!
1 week, 5 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…
If you have the Tweets, screen cap them and send them to Facebook.
I still can't believe this happened. I thought it was a mistake. :(
@mzsunshine @The Working Home Keeper Yep. People love hair flowers.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”
How lovely. :D
2 weeks, 2 days ago on John and Jenese–You Will NOT Want to Skip This!
@oceanspray @_Toni_ @ChocolateDiva Because the comments were set to "mod approval only" due to the influx of new faces and trolls.
It was a preventative tactic, but the worst is long past over so I'm removing the setting. o/
2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
2 weeks, 3 days ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!
@caligirl94117 Sorry about that! your comments have been added.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
@ChocolateDiva It's kinda funny in a sad way how transparent some people are...
@DWB @TI89 @Christelyn ....So am I the only person who read this comment and thought of:
2 weeks, 5 days ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…
@Christelyn @malaena1 I am still waiting for this to make sense to me. It just....doesn't.
@caligirl94117 @TI89 He won't. He'll act like we all defended a black woman who lied about the circumstances of her arrest and then went radio silent when details emerged.
Except, no we didn't.
Isn't that funny? Would rather insinuate that we lie and support black women who lie than demonstrate one significant incidence of defending black women.
He could have just mumbled something about Rosa Parks but NOPE...
I may be nursing a cold but I know a derailment tactic when I see one.
I present the following article:
If you people are going to haunt this community at least use derailment tactics that won't leave you with even MORE egg on your face than usual.
Laughing because under the weather or no, this took me less than a minute to find. You haters aren't even making it difficult anymore...
Allegedly she may have already moved on. To rocker Gene Simmons's son of all people. Didn't see that coming...
2 weeks, 5 days ago on If It Can Happen to Amber Rose…..Why That Marriage Certificate Makes All the Difference in the World
@Brenda55 "Taking to the street in an ill advised and ill planned emotional response will do nothing to change the situation and will not ensure that justice be done in the case of the young man killed."
The problem is that the only takeaway for a lot of black people from the Civil Rights era were images of black people marching with signs. Not enough time and attention is focused on the court room battles and passage of important laws.
As such you've got young black people thinking, "If we march, things will change" and not "if we go to court or if we take our grievances to Congress things will change".
Look at other minority groups. Not only do they march and protest, they also sue.
@onmywayup @NavpreetDhillon Thank you, I am now cry-laughing.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
@Swirlgirl28 I agree.
It's a certain segment of white women. The problem is that they use their whiteness to "blend in" with other white people and feign ignorance about their actions and the consequences.
This is why I say it's the responsibility of other white women and men to call them out. FAR MORE than it is the responsibility of black women to do so.
And as black women are often pegged with stereotypes of our "meanness" and "aggressive" nature, it rarely works in our favor to call these behaviors out. Even if we're in the right.
@caligirl94117 @The Working Home Keeper @NavpreetDhillon
Bingo. This non-black woman is up in here trying to flex. Not on my watch...
@Christelyn @_Toni_ @NavpreetDhillon Academy Award-winning films, mind you.