I am a Swiss, living in Basel, Switzerland, sharing my passion for food, cooking, recipes, wine, travel, family, animals, friends and life on my blog.
Summer is my favourite season, wonder whether we will have any chance seeing it this year!
My "perfect" (could not resist!) summer day: getting up early and enjoying my first cup of coffee outside watching the sun rise and gaining in light and warmth, checking on my plants, herbs and flowers, taking in the smells. Lunch outside in the garden in the shade (I get a lot of it thanks to my neighbours' tall trees). Evening walks along the river Rhine, maybe enjoying a drink in one of the restaurants and later BBQ.
I see no need to go travelling in summer, I enjoy the slow pace of Basel when everybody is away and each and every day is like a holiday to me!
My latest conversation: Come In – We’re Open
22 hours, 31 minutes ago on What are Your Favourite Summer Activities?
@johncharlesowens @Lori Hi John, hi Lori, interesting point and approach - and sometimes we are our own worst enemy!
I do not think we can teach our children, they have to go through this - sometimes painful - process.
3 days, 11 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@DrAliceChan Hi Alice, so with you on "we aren't seeking to screw up deliberately, but simply being ok with humanness", reading it here seems so - what? - logical but if I think how much time it took me to get to this point ...
@Sabrina at MyMiBoSo @Late_Bloomers I wish, I wish ...
Thank you, my two lovely ladies, this is like an extra portion of dark chocolate!
4 days, 11 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
Ok, I get it, but what if they could not upset us because we do not perceive them as threatening?
@Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Sabrina, not at all cliche, thank you! Just when I read your reply a picture of my then young daughter came up: whenever she was upset she forgot to breathe and I would tell her: BREATHE and we would breathe together, sometimes exaggerating, taking in whole loads of fresh air through our mouths and then releasing it through our noses, with a lot of noise. Wonderful experience and memory!
Darn, why do anxiety and fear always find a way of creeping in?
5 days, 12 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Hi, Sabrina, it has taken me a whole life as well - years well spent when we achieve this point! Oh yes, the ego coming forward and claiming its rights, it comes to visit me every day! How do you deal with it when you are stressed?
@sharonoday Hi, Sharon, you are all and more of the above! I do not doubt for a second that your mother did not mean it the way she sounded but what a cruel thoughtless remark to make to or about her daughter. Reminds me to pay attention to what I am saying.
I think that no matter how hard we try to meet someone's expectations or remedy "the mistake", we will never make it. I believe in @KDillabough's favourite quote "to thine own self be true" and I am happy for you that you have forgiven your parents. You are truly fabulous and kudos to your honesty.
@galenpearl Hi, Galen, we all have similar experiences stemming from childhood, do we not? I would have loved to be more like my brother, so sensitive and never offending anyone, whereas I was constantly stepping on people's toes. And I got mad at people for telling me how to do things perfectly when in my eyes I had already done so.
Yes, ages takes care of a lot of things, you are so right. I can only imagine what you have gone through and I am so glad your life is "perfect" now and you are enjoying it.
PS: I love your blog and your 10 Steps to Finding Your Happiness and Staying There!
@SocialMediaDDS Hi, my lovely friend! What a wonderful concept of perfection being an illusion and luring us into disappointment and frustration. You are so right. And you know when I feel it most poignantly: whenever I compare, be it on a materialistic level (mostly) or take the dismal weather these past weeks: I went nag nag nag still realizing that I cannot change it (why not?) but make do with what I have, create my own "perfect" (hehe) scenery (concentrating on food, testing new restaurants, wine tastings).
I so much more love the real life, it comes with accepting myself for what I am and being proud of it, and daring to be outspoken (blogging had quite a lot to do with it) and showing my cracks because I know that you will understand and connect.
Love you, Barbara
5 days, 13 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
Interesting question, I think it might be related in a way. Criticism should always be constructive, should it not? If it is negative it is downright impolite, hurting and disrespectful. Maybe you can think of an example and tell us here on the porch?
5 days, 21 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
It is getting close to midnight in Europe and I bid you all a wonderful night / evening. I will be back in a few hours looking perfect after a good night's sleep. Thank you for your lovely thoughts and see you soon!
6 days, 10 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@Julie Barrett Hi Julie! Absolutely agree with you: the excitement we feel when finally we understand things and the contentment we experience when "things" fall into their right place.
Did you never want to be "perfect", living up to someone's expectations?
@tandysinclair Hopefully you will have better weather in Europe, I mean it cannot go on like this for much longer! And then the cherries will be ripe, I especially love the Italian Duroni with their firm light red meat ... mhhhh, succulent! Thanks, Tandy!
6 days, 15 hours ago on Under The Weather
@Carole Remy @Lori @Yvonne Root Hi Carole! Maybe I should take tennis up again, I really sucked at it! Wonderful comment, go figure how to play tennis with life!
I am not a first born, I have a brother three years older but we are completely different, to me he always seemed to live on another planet, with his head in stratosphere. Maybe this makes me a semi first born? What really caught my attention was "I'll also project that expectation onto others", I remember so well the way I behaved with my daughter - argh!
Thank you so much, Carole!
6 days, 15 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@KDillabough Oh, darn for opening my mouth wide and thanks for enlightening me! I was familiar with wasabi, foodie that I am!
I have a quizzy stomach but try to stay calm ...
My latest conversation: cherries in a bowl
6 days, 18 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@Lori @Late_Bloomers @Yvonne Root Next time I will bring my broom and brush ... this feels like visiting a friend's home, where you know where everything is and there is meaning to "make yourself at home" - so thanks, Lori!
@Lori You have made my day, Lori! What better way to prove the validity of my post!
How do I deal with it? Take a deep breath first! Good question, when I am at one with myself the desire for perfection will not even come up. Now let's take a situation which will probably take us back to childhood memories / patterns: I still catch myself trying to win my mom's praise, rarely received (and I think it is not my problem but hers as she never learnt to vocalize it). Criticism? Yes, but mostly in a mute way, exuding displeasure (again the same fallcy).
I am trying to give my best in all I do and say, to the best of my abilities and state of health, mind and soul.
6 days, 19 hours ago on Do You Think You Have To Be Perfect?
@Yvonne Root Hi, Yvonne, LOL, certainly not a coincidence, is it? Now, that everything is fixed thanks to @Lori and we share this feeling of "am I glad that nobody is perfect" with a huge smile on our faces ...
But surely this is not upsetting to you, Lori? Is it not relieving to be able to say "oh gosh, I have made a mistake" or "I do not know", I still remember the pressure I was experiencing when striving for perfection.