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0:44 It's uncanny valley time!

2 years, 8 months ago on Santa Claus (1959)

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Great movie or greatest movie?

2 years, 8 months ago on Santa Claus and The Ice Cream Bunny (1974)

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You dare bring assholes to my lair? YOU MUST DIE!

2 years, 8 months ago on Late Night With Ganondorf Dragmire

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Wait... I lived with a guy who looked, acted, and spoke exactly like this except he had more beard and always wore a hoodie with the hood up, even in 100 degree weather. Is Stoney's real name "Sketchy Tom" by any chance? (I have no idea what Sketch's real name is.) The resemblance is really uncanny.

Compare:

Stoney: "I'm makin' bread."

Sketch: "This cake? It tastes like... like cake."

2 years, 9 months ago on Cooking With Stoney (2001)

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"Saint Mutation???" WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? LEAVE MY CHILDHOOD ALONE, YOU HENTAI-DOODLING BASTARDS!!! OH GOD, NO!!!! NOT JAPANESE POP MUSIC!!!!

Maybe I'm getting a little upset, but what was wrong with "regular" Ninja Turtles? The duplicated animation of "regular" characters looks good. In fact, it looks way better than the US version with all of its animation mistakes. It looks so good that this series could have been an awesome addition to the Turtles series. But mother of God, the "Super" turtles look like they're cosplaying as Wolverine in a really bad anime. Rocksteady turns green? WHY??? And they merge their powers like cheap Power Rangers impersonators, because as we all know, no kid in America had a single favorite turtle that they liked to see in the limelight. Nope, they probably couldn't even tell the turtles apart. So it's perfectly reasonable to just keep merging the turtles together so that the writers and animators only have to keep track of one character. Krang sounds like Mr. Bill and says that he has the "personality of a kitten." Shredder is understandably confused by this remark (as are the viewers), but Krang never bothers to explain. Great, now every time that I think of Krang, I'm going to think of kittens. And WHY IS THERE A GODDAMN FAIRY??? Did the Ninja Turtles really need the K-Mart version of Tinkerbell to explain everything?

That theme song is horrendous. It doesn't fit with the grimy yet youthful theme of the turtles at all and just screams "forgettably generic anime that no American will ever watch." "Go go Turtles!' What? "Kicks go Boom Boom!" You've got to be kidding me. "Our hearts combine and the miracle fusion body is awakened!" Okay, maybe there's a translation error or two, but that seems to be exactly what's happening onscreen. I'm guessing that Yoko Kanno wasn't the composer for this one. And it looks like crap too. It's like an episode of the Turtles got thrown into a blender with the most low budget rip-offs of Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z that the producers could find.

Yeah, this is pretty embarrassing, but not anywhere near as bad Operation Blue Line.

2 years, 11 months ago on TMNT 90's Anime

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There was a Blockbuster not far from my house that was one of the last holdouts. For whatever reason, even as Netflix took over and Blockbuster was all over the news on account of its bombing stock prices, that one store just remained open. It closed about two years ago.

Recently, I have encountered two survivors of the fallout. One of them is a local business that's been around for at least 20 years. Their neon signage advertises "cheap rentals of movies for families and adults." This store is also in a very bad part of town and I've never been in there. The other survivor I actually stumbled over in a beach town. It was a "general store" type deal and they actually had an entire room devoted to DVDs for rent. They don't really have to deal with Netflix since nobody wants to change their delivery address for a few days of vacation. Toss in the fact that the only other place within 50 miles to see a movie is a single screen movie theatre and you've got a niche where movie rental can survive. Finding this place while I was weathering Tropical Storm Lee in a vacation condo and had finished all of my DVDs was like Logan finding the Old Man in "Logan's Run."

2 years, 11 months ago on Video Rental Memories

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