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Good reminder and you are so right. Now please write the post about how I can get a thicker skin and just stop caring, because as hard as I've tried over the past 10 years, it still bothers me way too much when people say nasty things. 

One of the best quotes ever was from self-help guy, Steve Chandler "Why should the way I feel depend on the thoughts in someone else's head?" Working on it.

1 month ago on The Beautiful Freedom of Not Giving a Crap

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@Hillary13 Balancing time online "for fun" when you already have a job that requires you to be online all day long is definitely challenging. I know that I should spend my "off" time offline...especially now that I work from home, it's hard to distinguish what online time is work time versus online time that is non-work time....sigh. I remember when my kids were younger and I used to blog in the evenings they'd be like "get off the computer! You already worked all day!" Now, sadly, it's the opposite--they think everything I do online is for fun and think my job is made up..can't win! :)

1 month, 1 week ago on Is Personal Blogging Still Worth it in the Age of Content Marketing?

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@MysbaLonesomeRegis Aw--thanks Mysba! Smart thoughts, as always, and you're right..as always : ) Thanks for the inspiration...and for reading my rambles!

1 month, 1 week ago on Is Personal Blogging Still Worth it in the Age of Content Marketing?

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@deirdrereid I saw that disclosure in your posts--awesome idea for Digital Now! Wish I was going to Nashville for annual :( Let me know if you're ever up in DC--was so good to see you this spring (I can't even remember the conference now...pathetic!)

3 months ago on Are FTC’s Social Media Disclosure Guidelines Dead?

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@TechboyUK Thanks for reading and commenting--I'm still marveling at my recipe post! I mostly am inspired to cook in the winter, so looking forward to creating and posting more recipes then.

3 months, 1 week ago on Two Cool Tech Tools for Food Bloggers…and a Recipe for Crazy Easy Fish Tacos

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@Deirdre Reid Yikes--totally missed that there were any comments on this blog! Pinterest has seriously gotten me to cook--my husband and son are eternally grateful to it!

3 months, 1 week ago on Two Cool Tech Tools for Food Bloggers…and a Recipe for Crazy Easy Fish Tacos

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 Ugh--I admit I'm guilty of this sometimes by accident and it drives me crazy! I am addicted to ipad games and sometimes accidentally click the "send to all friends" thing without meaning to, or they trick you by not giving an option to send to only friends who already play or whatever. First world problem if there ever was one, right? :) I definitely know it's annoying. Now you need to write a post about how to get unaddicted to the games!!

8 months ago on Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Game Invitations

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I would definitely ask before posting photos of other people's children online. You never know who might be super sensitive and/or super private--as is their right--and especially when it comes to kids, you can't be too careful.

10 months ago on Dear Amy: Social Media Etiquette for the Rest of Us

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I'm pretty sure he's going to hire you for future correspondence! I hear there's free Botox or Lasik (in one eye) in it for you, though, so there's that...

1 year, 2 months ago on The Worst Nice Meeting You Email in the Universe – An Interpretation

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I may never sleep again after reading this! I'm still scarred from the time I fell asleep on the sofa in my basement and woke up to find one of those huge wolf spiders--on my stomach/chest!! 

1 year, 2 months ago on Spider House Rules

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I"m obsessed with We Need to Talk About Kevin! And I can sadly confirm that the movie is TERRIBLE...truly not worth watching. Will have to try the other Gillian Flynn books--I loved Gone Girl but hated the ending.

Two of the best books I read this year were Are You My Mother? and Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. Breed by Chase Novak was freaky/interesting, if not the best written book ever--good for a summer read.

1 year, 3 months ago on The Spin Sucks Summer Reading List

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So glad you're ok now and beautiful post. I must be part male because I'm horrible about seeking help for medical problems. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Falling into the traps of masculine invulnerability - Guest post by Bob LeDrew

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To me it just seems like Google is making things worse for readers/users because they're basically encouraging bloggers not to disclose paid posts/sponsorships. Seems like this is at odds with the FTC trying to encourage transparency. If bloggers are going to have to choose between complying with the FTC guidelines which are barely ever enforced and getting dinged by Google for admitting content is sponsored, they're going to be less likely to disclose. Sort of depressing, if you ask me--ultimately Google is doing users a disservice because they want any payment to be made to them via ads rather than to bloggers, which is just something they shouldn't be worrying about and ultimately won't be able to police effectively anyway.

1 year, 4 months ago on Why Google is Missing the Point on Sponsored Content

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These are awesome--love the look of Tagboard. If I had two wishes, though, I'd ask for a free tool to track a) back further than 30 days and b) track by search term and not just hashtag. Got anything for that? ; ) 

1 year, 4 months ago on Three Cool and Inexpensive Tools to Track Twitter Hashtags

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I think being able to work from home--or anywhere--is a great benefit and, at least to me, mitigates the traditional hours part. You could always do something like have a choice of shifts so that times when some want to be off would be times that others would cover, and vice versa. That way not everyone is on the same schedule but client coverage is not an issue. Or job sharing, where you get the coverage, but maybe not from just one person. I'd definitely sacrifice money (and have) for more flexibility.

1 year, 4 months ago on The Client Service Issue in a Virtual Workplace

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I think that the better a woman's self confidence is and the less it's tied to her looks early in life, the easier it is to weather getting older and seeing herself change in the mirror. I know for me, my self esteem was crappy early in life (and still isn't so great) and was very closely tied to my looks, and I've fought hard to fix both of those, knowing that it will only become more difficult the older I get. I think that there's no escaping looking in the mirror and, as time goes by, mourning what's gone and what we can never get back. Yes, aging is a privilege and there's much, much more to life than looks, but I think that any woman or person who says they can look in the mirror with each passing decade and not wish she or he could freeze time and prevent any more changes either has flawless self esteem or is lying. Who do I see when I look in the mirror? Someone who has learned that she's more than just about what she sees in the mirror....but who definitely still puts too much stock into that image, even as it does change over time.

1 year, 6 months ago on Mirror mirror...

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Ok, seriously--I have had that same experience EVERY time I apply for a job, and EVERY time I'm told what you were--that it's non-negotiable. If I ever found out that a man--or anyone, for that matter, had gotten more time, I'd have been PISSED! Shows how naive I am, I guess...

I love this post and honestly--you need to write the new version of Lean In...because Sheryl's version is not really cutting it for me so far.

1 year, 6 months ago on I Don’t Want to Be a Feminist

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This makes me miss my uterus even less! Although I suppose my ovaries will shut down at some point and it would be nice to know when that was happening.

1 year, 7 months ago on Wednesday Bubble: The Magic Menopause Ball

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Amen. I'm so sad I missed the book signing Thursday night because what I see online--thankfully, mostly online for me--truly worries me. People are so insistent on exercising their "right" to free speech...especially online, and even better, anonymously. The things I see said in Facebook comments, presumably among friends, are sad and scary, or, in a case like this week's events around women in the tech space, outright evil. Thankfully, at least in my world, people keep the nastiness mostly online..but even better if the online trolls would heed your advice.

1 year, 7 months ago on The Freedom of Silence

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My favorite is the blog comment spam that is all nasty and derogatory--like "this blog is terrible, the writing is horrible, etc"--it's like someone led a webinar in the reverse psychology of the old standby "Great post!" comment.

1 year, 8 months ago on For the Love of Spam

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Yup. And don't forget the thing where Facebook "accidentally" sucked everyone's contacts from their iPhones one time then "accidentally" made changes to people's contacts on their phones another time, "accidentally" allowed private messages to show up in people's public feeds, "accidentally" changed everyone's default email address to their Facebook email address even for those who had previously opted NOT to show any email address...and those are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head. What makes me happy, though, is seeing teens basically abandon Facebook. We older people may be set in our ways or have to be on Facebook for business reasons, but teens are all on Twitter or somewhere else now, which will ultimately grind Facebook's master plan to a  halt when number of users and amount of time spent on site dwindles down to levels that won't be worth companies ad dollars.

1 year, 10 months ago on Facebook, thanks for taking us all hostage and laughing

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We recently tried this with a promotion just to fans of the page, and our results were similar to Chad's...except we only targeted fans of the page because in this particular case targeting friends of fans wouldn't have been relevant. Our non-promoted posts' reach are generally around 1,500-5,000 (rare); the promoted post's reach was 23,547; engaged users generally average 50-150; the promoted post's engaged users: 504. However, the virality of the post wasn't as high as many other, non-promoted posts. Granted, it was a promo code for a product, not an article or something else of general interest.

 

Since the algorithm change, we are seeing less traffic back to our site from Facebook, which makes sense; fewer people seeing our stuff, fewer people clicking back to our site. Depending on how important referral traffic from Facebook is to an org, I could see needing to budget some for promoted posts. However, you know I hate Facebook and, luckily for us, Pinterest is fast becoming a bigger traffic referrer, so rather than spending money on Facebook I'm hoping to be able to concentrate more on Pinterest and other places. More fun AND taking traffic/revenue away from Facebook=win ;)

 

One last observation--while promoted posts seem to at least get content seen more on Facebook, Facebook ads have, so far, proven to be absolutely useless for us. We do FB ads based on clicks, not impressions, and a recent set of ads for a particular product was targeted at over 170 MILLION users and yielded ZERO clicks. But that makes sense to me--when was the last time you clicked on a Facebook ad? Not to mention that mobile users don't even see them. 

2 years ago on [CASE STUDY] Is it worth paying to promote Facebook posts?

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I wish I loved baking....so do my husband and kids.

2 years ago on Stressed? Try Baking. That's What Wendy Scherer Does...

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With so much lip-service given to the term "community" in this day and age of social media marketing, I have loved watching this true example of actual power of online community unfold. I, too, know Patti from Facebook and Twitter and seeing her speak at ASAE, and when I read the news about Mr. Brilliant's cancer, I gasped out loud and was as upset as if it were an IRL friend reporting such shocking news. Patti is such a giving and genuine person--it's nice to know that that still counts for a lot in life, despite daily evidence to the contrary. 

2 years, 1 month ago on Wednesday Bubble: Team Brilliant

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 @Willie_Matis Thanks Willie--really good point! Especially at really hierarchical (sp?) orgs, this can definitely come into play and can be very frustrating for the person who is the external "face" of the org to not even be a recognized face within.

2 years, 3 months ago on How to Manage Social Employees

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I'm in Mitch's camp and glad to see I'm not the only one who feels like that. I write because I love writing. Period. I don't get paid to blog, I don't do it to generate business or leads (I have a full-time job), and I'm not on any lists nor do I aspire to be. I write when I have time, and while I occasionally try to respond to comments, most of the time I just...don't. I sometimes feel guilty about it and worry that I should do better...then I remind myself that blogging is a hobby for me and the people I need to worry about interacting with live in my house, not on the interwebs. I'd rather get it wrong by not optimizing the community I could have through my blog if I were more interactive than get it wrong by spending even more time online than I already do at the expense of my husband, kids and IRL friends.

2 years, 4 months ago on Responding (Or Not) to Blog Comments

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Count me as one person who doesn't care about personalized Linkedin invites. I hear a lot of people complaining about this, just as others complain that every @ tweet should receive a reply, as should every blog post. I'm of the "pick your battles" school of thought--e.g. I put effort into what I personally feel is important. To me, Linkedin is a rolodex of professional contacts and my level of interest in connecting with someone doesn't usually warrant me spending time customizing the invite. Sorry if that offends people; if it means the person doesn't accept my contact request, I'm ok with that. 

 

The other side of the "personalization" coin is that I find that most personalized Linkedin invites are from sales people--the more personalized and friendly the request to connect, the higher the chances are that person is just looking to spam me. 

2 years, 5 months ago on A tricky balance: social etiquette

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I can't imagine how this guy wouldn't be liable for discrimination. What if she was a stutterer or had some other speech impediment? Would it be ok to not hire her in that case? Granted, of course I'm hyper-aware of these issues because I work at an association that represents communication science and disorder professionals, but honestly--publicly acknowledging that you didn't hire someone because they "talk funny" seems pretty disingenuous to me. 

2 years, 5 months ago on Would You Like Vocal Fries With that Order?

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Sadly the reality is that even when you do exactly this, it still may not work--even when you can prove ROI on social media spend, execs who have been reluctant to buy in will probably still be reluctant to buy in. And even when it does work it takes years, not months--longer than a lot of community/social media managers are in a job. #justsayin

2 years, 5 months ago on How to Fight For More Social Media Resources In Your Company

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The thing that I found ironic about that USA Today article is that you still need content to post on Facebook and Twitter. And unless you want to perpetually be sending your customers and potential customers to other sites, you want at least some of that content to be on your website. And to have enough dynamic content on your website that's interesting and engaging enough to power engagement on Facebook and Twitter, you pretty much need a blog! In fact, the main reason my org launched a blog was BECAUSE of the success we were having on Facebook and Twitter--we didn't have enough content to keep it going and that's why we started the blog. That was a year and a half ago and, while it is hard work, the blog is what has fueled the continued growth of our public social presences.

2 years, 6 months ago on Is Blogging Dead or Are Companies Not Trying Hard Enough?

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Go Heidi! I love the idea about pinning an image then editing the link and description to pin content that doesn't have its own images.

2 years, 8 months ago on Pinterest for Business: 9 Tips From Superuser PediaStaff

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AMEN. It drives me crazy that brands think that their ticket to success is scoring the bloggers with the most page views per month and most Twitter followers. I could give a crap about what bloggers are hawking, especially when I know they are paid ambassadors and post daily about some other product. Also? Even though I spend way too much time online, I also interact with real people in real life and are much more influenced by what they say about a product or service than I am by a brand ambassador.

2 years, 8 months ago on Kill Your Brand Ambassadors With Your Brand Army

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Amen! I love Pinterest as much as the next gal--for personal stuff. Or I did, until every other word I read was "Pinterest" in the marketing context. It's fine but hardly a fit for every business, or even most businesses, and still has tons of glitches/usability issues. I'll be glad when the fuss dies down and I can go back to just looking at pictures of cute stuff and not over-analyzing the fun out of it.

2 years, 8 months ago on Pinterest and the Huge Sucking Sound

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While it's been fixed now, I wanted to point out that Klout had created a profile for my son--who is 13. I do not have him in any way marked as my son on Facebook, yet he was listed on my Klout profile as someone I influence, complete with his photo and a link to his Facebook profile. He's never commented on my Facebook profile, which is not set to public, nor have I ever made any of my Facebook comments public. So the whole theory that this is something users set themselves up for doesn't fly with me; there never should have been a Klout profile for my son, a 13 year-old, and there never should have been a link to his Facebook profile.Also, if there was nothing wrong with this, why did Klout change it within 24 hours of Tonia publishing this post?

2 years, 11 months ago on Privacy Fail: Klout Has Gone Too Far.

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I totally agree--the punishment by bloggers seems to far outweigh the crime with regard to this whole Ragu thing. There seems to be a big measure of hybrid bashing/hire me to do your social media because I could do a better job too, which seems kind of disingenuous to me. Is public flogging of brands as pitch/blackmail going to be the new thing "influencers" do?

3 years ago on Are bloggers over-reacting to the Ragu social media “crisis”?

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Oh no--hope you"re ok. I had a similar thing and suffered for 3 years before they properly diagnosed it--I second you on the listen to your body/go with your gut. Hope you have a quick recovery!

3 years, 1 month ago on Baring My Gut… Literally

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@HowieG Totally agree re: realistic expectations. There are definitely businesses out there who expect to set up a Twitter account and a Facebook Page and immediately see results and/or get a billion followers. If huge numbers are all they care about, you're totally right--they'd be best served buying an ad.

3 years, 4 months ago on “Community Manager” Confusion

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@Bhanukaran Glad you enjoyed the post and good luck in your new role! Both are challenging jobs but you'll probably never be bored!

3 years, 4 months ago on “Community Manager” Confusion

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a) Amen and b) I had to laugh because I clicked through to see the "new" Klout 2 days ago too, and then spent the time between then and now tweeting WAY more than usual at a conference. When I read how your score went up after some heavier-than-usual tweeting, I checked mine and--shocker--mine went up a point as well. Seriously? Because I tweeted a bunch of stuff from an ASAE marketing conference?

3 years, 5 months ago on Influence is Not a Number

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I love Facebook groups--and that's a strong statement for me because there's plenty I don't love about Facebook! I basically only use Facebook groups now, and don't spend any time at all looking at my regular feed.I would add one suggestion to this post--turn off email notifications if you're in a really active group. They can quickly become overwhelming.

I would also disagree with one of your points--I think keeping members focused and over-moderating groups is a sure way to kill a Facebook group, which, as you point out, is about authentic engagement and conversation. I suggest developing community guidelines--which is easy in Facebook groups with the document feature--laying out expectations for the group, like no personal attacks, no sell zone, etc--but I don't think staying on topic should be one of the group rules. Let the group be about the members and what they find useful, and let the relationships that start in the group develop and mature like real relationships do--organically and not with the caveat that conversation needs to center around a certain topic.

3 years, 7 months ago on Facebook Groups as Collaboration Tools

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Standing ovation....I thought I was going crazy reading the comments on that ridiculous post and seeing all the compliments and reassurances that it was, indeed, "humorous" and not intended to be negative or derrogatory towards bloggers. Bullshit. I am SO. TIRED of seeing women denigrate each other in the blogosphere--of course always under pseduonyms only, though. The disrespect conveyed in the post was absolutely stunning to me, and the saddest part were all the mom bloggers--at whom the post was aimed--chiming in with "Thank you, can I please have another" comments. "You're right, I am actually worthless and don't deserve to be paid for the hours of work I do on behalf of the client whose paying you thousands and getting you the numbers that you then get to report back to the client." (Ok, not those exact comments but comments essentially saying those same things). Sarah insists over and over again throughout the comments that the piece was meant to be "humorous" but I don't see one thing funny about a PR person speaking about bloggers in such a degrading way. Someone needs to find out what agency "Sarah" works for and get word out to all the "A-list" bloggers to freakin' blackball all pitches coming from that agency, because I'm sure Sarah's nasty sentiments about bloggers are not hers alone and do represent the agency's feelings towards them.

3 years, 10 months ago on When PR Has Its Head Up Its Ass

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