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That'd be the best worst sex tape I'd try and download for free! You would have Leslie who shows emotion like a mime on Xanax and Percy probably packing some serious heat and his magic hands with Spielman directing and maybe Priefer yelling some words of encouragement. Throw our entire secondary in there for a bukkake party and it's a wrap!!
2 days, 6 hours ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/
fap...fap...fap...fap... Sweet baby Jesus!! Zzzzzzz
1 month, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/
Bromance with these two! Sprinkle in some shirtless pics and I'll be spent.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/teddy-bridgewater-and-cordarrelle-patterson-making-friends.html
We'll, I was calling for Teddy 10 months ago. Come on Teddy give me a glimmer of hope, PLEASE........
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-nfl-draft-day-vikings-draft-promises.html
I have to admit that I'm looking forward to watching AP "tear" it up?!
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/
The 70's porn stache is what sold me!
3 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/are-the-vikings-angling-to-draft-zach-mettenberger.html
@PJD @ndmover The hot blonde ratio has to go up if we get Johnny football, no?
4 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/vikings-have-secret-love-affair-with-johnny-manziel.html
Don't worry, If any teams going to daft him it'll be the Vikings.
Nice stack of fittys inside those hooker heels. Always warms my heart to see a young couple in Love!
4 months, 1 week ago on Here's Why Captain Munnerlyn Mans the Love Boat
If Aaron Rogers read this post he's either mortified, aroused, or maybe both? Having a 328lb Mandingo grind you into the turf could cause him to quiver.
4 months, 3 weeks ago on Vikings Sign Big, Huge Man to Plug Gaping Holes in the Middle
Sadly, I have to agree. I've died inside a little with these posts. Not even sure how I got sucked into this dismal abyss. If Ponder is our golden boy for our first Super Bowl then I'll eat crow (I am surprised by the outpouring for Mr. Ponder). I would love an awesome, kick ass defense! As long as AP can get a ring I don't care how or who we get to get it done. Seattles defense was something special. Russel Wilson is no slouch either though.
I'm now going to go and destroy my liver for even taking part in this conversation!
5 months, 1 week ago on New Vikings OC Norv Turner Already on Hot Seat
I admitted the defense sucked ass in my previous response (see "dumpster fire"(that means not good)). When your defense is ranked 31 out of 32 it's pretty shitty. Not sure what more you want me to say on that? I think it's awesomely hilarious that you use phrases like "Ponder outgunned Cassel". Ponder is synonymous with outgunned just not him doing it. Let's go over the stats ONE more time. I had to look up their stats since both were in my rear view mirror.
Total yards: Cassel
Yards per game: Cassel
Yards average: Cassel
Games with multiple passing TD's: Cassel
Games with 300+ yards: Cassel
Games Won: Cassel
Here are some stats Christian did beat Matt on.
Pick 6's: Ponder
Games lost: Ponder
You're right Christian kicked his ass up and down!
You never did answer me to which qb played against the tougher defenses?
You like Christian, good got it. In all sincerity I wanted the guy to have a breakout year. Didn't happen and I don't think it ever will. He's not the answer at qb and neither is Cassel. If I had to choose (God help us all) I'd go with Cassel out of the 3 we had and so would Greg Jennings.
5 months, 2 weeks ago on New Vikings OC Norv Turner Already on Hot Seat
Don't get me wrong. Our defense sucked from the top down. From Leslie to the coordinator to Chris (Stevie Wonder) Cook. Audie Cole was let go from the team and then brought back to embarrass the coaches and the rest of the linebackers play. How do you overlook that ability for years? Our defense was an absolute dumpster fire all season long. And I would totally agree with them taking a defensive player with their first round pick. I get it! Especially since we shot ourselves in the foot for draft placement. But don't sit and defend your poor qb play. WOW, a whole 42 yards!! If that's your rallying cry for your performance then I feel bad for ya son. Of course you could of had a 60+ yarder to Rudolph who was wide open up the middle (I think I seen him stop and buy a Dome dog and put all the fixings on it while waving wildly to get your attention) but instead decided to stare down Simpson in triple coverage for a pick 6. Speaking of pick 6's, who had more? You or Matty?
I don't see us getting any sleepers (Russell Wilson anyone?) this draft so may as well keep playing you and hope for a top 2 or 3 pick next year.
Say hi to Samantha for me will you.
Glad to see Christian follows PJD, Welcome! Tell me Christian, the teams defensive rankings that you played against, did they rank better or worse than the defenses Matt faced? What was your TD to turnover ratio? Was it better or worse than Matts? Did your total yardage per game equal Matts? Yards Averaged better or worse? Your longest pass was what, 47 yrds? Matts was 79. Who has the better rating? And you already alluded to this but it's a BIG one. Who won more F'ing games (Christ, the fact I'm even having this argument is insane!)?!!!
Good luck in your future endeavors Mr. Ponder. Stop by again sometime.
Here I thought we were done with Ponder. Guy keeps coming back like a crack whore looking for another hit. Guess we know now where they're looking in the first round.
I love me some Toblerone!
5 months, 2 weeks ago on VIKTOR the VIKING Brings Your Lady a Valentines Delivery
Great article Scott! Some of the comments are a bit overreaching in their opinions. If the one thing that you take away from that article is him mentioning being passed by females then I feel sorry for you. Stop trolling!
Nobody likes burpees! That's the point. Why do you think Joe has us do thousands during the Death Races? They SUCK!! Keep fighting the good fight Scott & Amber
5 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://www.outsideonline.com/fitness/running/failure-at-spartan-race.htmlundefined
I guess being a whiney China Doll has it's perks and Sidney bruises easier than Rhianna after a date. TJack with a Super Bowl ring?! God I just threw up in my mouth!!
5 months, 3 weeks ago on Percy Harvin is a World Mutha F*ckin' Champ
I feel the same way.
5 months, 4 weeks ago on Tarvaris Jackson: Super Bowl Winning Quarterback
You sir are a literary genius (IMHO)! I just wish Speilman would start drafting players according to their likeness to rap stars like Seattle. Who knew Busta Rhymes was a great cover corner?! It'd be more entertaining for us and the talent level couldn't be much worse.
6 months, 1 week ago on How Chris Cook (Probably) Spent Championship Sunday
Thank you, God! This season couldn't have ended soon enough. Cant wait to draft a mid-round, shitty qb from god knows where. I seen on the ESPN scroll the Vikings are interested in Del Rio... Kill me now.
7 months ago on PJD's Game 16 Recap: Ending With a Resounding Fart Noise
Once again we have an older recycled qb who'll donkey punch our playoff hopes for the next few seasons. He did look good against Philly, fucker!!
7 months, 2 weeks ago on Greg Jennings Made His Choice At Quarterback; Have You?
@CollegeWolf Amen to that!
7 months, 2 weeks ago on PJD's Game 14 Recap: The Last Metrodome Win?
Pretty sure if they held a Lottery for frustrated Vikings fans at say $10 a ticket to get a chance to blow that whore house up they'd pay for the new stadium in 30 minutes.
7 months, 4 weeks ago on Vikings Stadium Ground Breaking Photo-travaganza!
This game has only solidified my belief that Vikings fans (most not all) have to have an extra chromosome in there somewhere. I read some forums on Facebook including yours and I just cannot believe the stupidity/ignorance, call it what you want, of some of these fans. "I hope we win out and end 7-7-1" (not even sure how that works since there are 16 games (see beginning statement about our fans)) If you're of the opinion that the franchise should shoot for a top draft pick the 'true' fans think you have to be F'ckin idiot.
I hate this last game for everything that it was. It didn't help team morale, screwed our draft position and showed me more than ever that our fans are not used to a winning team and doing what you have to to be a winning team. I'm not asking players to lay down and give up (ok, maybe a little) just give me the same effort you gave me in the game against the Giants.
I'm done, ranting, watching and caring about this season.
8 months, 1 week ago on PJD's Game 11 Recap: A Tie Sums up the 2013 Vikings Perfectly
Yeah, we'd be sitting pretty solid in #1 right now if it wasn't for this meaningless tie. Now we're in 4th by my math. Give me AP, Walsh, Patterson, and Harrison Smith ( I don't know why but I like the guy) and put the rest of the team in the Metro Dome when they implode that bitch!
8 months, 1 week ago on Masturbatory Game 11 Preview: This Crap Again?
I was watching the ticker under the game and seen the Jags and the Bucs won. I never, ever dreamed of this F'ing scenario. I'm still pulling for #2 overall. Atlanta (I know they're not looking for a qb, but..)has to win one more, right? Texans and Jags face each other one more time so if we can knock of the heroics BS we can still salvage something out of this. I want #1 overall god dammit!
Leave it to the Vikings to not win the game and still lose draft position. Dickheads!!
@CollegeWolf Here here!
8 months, 1 week ago on Hitler the Vikings Fan is Kind of Every Vikings Fan
A little dissappointed that the coaches didn't go for the trifecta quarterback play. I mean when was the last time a team had 3 different qb's throw an interception in a game? We need to have loftier goals than running every effin' time on first down and then 3 consecutive bubble passes. On the bright side, the packers know how it feels to be a NFL team without a franchise quarterback....for awhile.
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Masturbatory Vikings Game 10 Preview: Redemption Time
Easy on the sake there Danny.
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Percy Harvin to Face Old Team This Weekend
We lose Thursday night and we're sitting solid in second place. Now we're in 4th and f'ing ourselves in the ass yet again! A guy overheard me tell my son, on the light-rail after the game, how I wished we would've lost. He looked me dead in the eye and said "do you really mean that?" I said yup, Ponder is a wash and so is this season. Our only chance is to draft a top tier qb. I could see it sink in. Like the guy hadn't even thought of that scenario. I love my Vikes but some of our fans are mentally I'll. keep up the good work PJD!
8 months, 3 weeks ago on PJD's Game 9 Recap: Winning is the New Losing
Can't even lose right, God damn it!! No way Jacksonville gets 2 wins this season and Tampa blows almost as bad. Hate my life!!
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Masturbatory Vikings Game 9 Preview: R-Words vs. V-Words
I don't feel good about this game. Like, we may actually win the damn thing and screw ourselves yet again. It is prime time, our defense sucks ass and Ponder has the arm strength of a 3 year old with Spina Bifida. It's going to be ugly either way.
Going to this donkey show tonight. I'm going so I can watch AP and the quarterback we could've had if only we sucked a little bit more. I hope by this time next year I can go and watch our 1st round draft pick, the long snapper that Speilman just had to have, take us to a 2-14!
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Acting Cordial: Talking R-Words vs. Vikings with Redskins Hog Heaven
I was starting to sweat it there for a bit. Beginning to think this team couldn't even lose right!
9 months ago on Q&A With Purple Jesus | February
If the football thing doesn't work out you still have a hot wife who's employed.
9 months ago on Samantha Ponder is Wendy Peffercorn and Not Much Else Matters
You know when Sherels, who dropped a potential pick 6 and lost a fumble is your bright spot, you're in trouble. Embrace the Suck!!
9 months, 1 week ago on PJD's Game 6 Recap: Can't Hide in the Midwest Anymore
Not sure about my feelings on Josh Freeman but I really want a tiger now (sad face).
9 months, 3 weeks ago on Don't Worry, We Have Shirtless Pictures of Josh Freeman
Randy Moss catering? The food might not be fit to feed a dog but plenty good for the average Viking fan. Maybe Christian Ponders noodle shack? Going to have to be buffet style since he doesn't have the arm strength to get the plate across the counter.
10 months ago on Are These the New Vikings Stadium Concession Stands?
Sometimes my state actually makes me proud. NDSU and high school ball is all I have left now. I don't care if Ponder has a full blown yeast infection (Christian not Samantha). Start his ass! I don't need any heroics from Cassel to screw up my draft.
10 months, 1 week ago on Even North Dakota Hates Ponder and the Vikings
I agree with everything you said 100%. I want Cowher and Bridgewater. I want a coach who will lose his shit when they call a BS penalty! Lezlie smiles and nods with his ' aww gee' look on his face. Get pissed for once! Not all the time, but just once! Ponders arm is so weak that his 'bomb' to Patterson had to be caught at his ankles after he came back to the ball. I say we ride this train to the end. After the Steelers it's going to get ugly and I for one want to tank4Teddy. Keep up the good work PJD!!
10 months, 1 week ago on PJD's Game Three Recap: Keeping That Winless Streak Alive!
I.... I can't even string together a sentence to describe what a piece of shit game that was. We lost to the Cleveland Browns at home?! We lost to the Cleveland Browns, the gate keepers of shitty football, at home! God Dammit!! Their punter had more td passes than our special ed qb. Somehow our derelict coahing staff has managed to screw up the only thing we had going for us in AP. We have the NFL MVP, Pro Bowl MVP, Jennings, Patterson, Simpson, Webb and a quarterback that would get picked last at a Jerry's Kids football camp. Frazier said that Ponder was still his qb for London. Good, they can stare longingly into eachothers eyes while waiting in the unemployment line come Spring. At this point they should stick with Ponder and go for the #1 with Bridgewater. So many things with this team right now. What happened to our O-line, defense across the board (I still like Harrison despite getting burned on the last td), quarterback, and the entire coaching staff. If the Vikes screw up the '14 draft I'll be there with PJD and burn shit!
10 months, 1 week ago on Purple Jesus Diaries Masturbatory Game Three Preview: Early Season Toilet Bowl
What in the Hell has happened to our Offensive line? I can see them laying down on Ponder but when AP can't get a God damned handoff before being piled into the turf, I mean.....Fuck!! Can we eliminate the unnecessary Ponder to receiver stare down and just announce in the snap cadence who he's going to throw to? "Down set Blue Jennings, Blue Jennings, hut hut!" Or would that be considered unprofessional?
10 months, 2 weeks ago on Purple Jesus Diaries Masturbatory Game Two Preview: Not a Chance
Maybe his "deep triceps bruise" is worse than we thought? Or maybe he got some sand in his vag during one of the Steele family vacations. I will be overjoyed if we can go 6-10 (on AP's and the defenses back) with maybe one win over the pack. Kalil better start showing up or 'happy feet' is going to have the confidence of a Sandusky towel boy!
11 months, 1 week ago on PJD's Preseason Game 3 Recap: Thinking Up All the Excuses
The fact that the dresses are shown on a size 2 mannequin is a bit humorous. There isn't sea cow, packer fan this side of 200 lbs putting on that dress. Veil is still too shear for my taste. If I can still count the number of chins/mustache then it needs to be more like a burka. Hell, I don't think Aaron Rodgers' life partner would even wear that.
1 year, 2 months ago on Which is Uglier: This Packers Dress or This Bears Dress?
Quite the wordsmith aren't I. Saving up the good stuff for fathers day.
1 year, 2 months ago on How To Ruin Mother's Day for a Vikings Fan
@CollegeWolf maybe his mom is a big tony danza fan?
1 year, 3 months ago on 2013 Who Ya Gonna Draft? - CB Johnthan Banks
This makes me feel a little bit better about the Harvin trade. Ponder hasn't shown he can throw the deep ball. Sure, he can 'rainbow' one out there when he has no pressure, but any corner worth his salt can pick those off. Musgrave better use him properly or it's all just a shit sandwich anyways. For me this is Ponders make or break year. I'm not asking for elite stats (I would take them though). Just better than average, second tier stuff.
1 year, 4 months ago on Oh Hellz Yeah: Greg Jennings Signs With Vikings