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Is it insensitive to say, I don't give a rats patootie about a commercial featuring bm/ww? 

We, black women have our on issues and gripe to worry about, let black men wave their fist and fight for their right to love blah blah blah.... 

Question for the outraged black women, had this been a commercial with a bw/wm couple, would black men stand for your honor and right to love whomever you want? Would they be outrage by the slurs and insults coming our way? I highly doubt it...... moving right along, nothing to see here. 

 

1 year, 2 months ago on How Far Have We Really Come? Cheerios Commercial Draws the Ire of Rabid Racists

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I love her personality! You can tell she is full of life and hope... It was only a matter of time before she took what was meant for her

Congrats!!! You look MAAAARVELOUS :). 

1 year, 3 months ago on Swirling Success in Sweden!

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It's great that he made his feeling known to you while you are young. They say when someone shows you who they are, believe them. He has shown himself to be controlling, self-centered, racist and clearly does not care about your well-being or feelings. If it wasn't about dating IR, it would have been something else. 

If you  desire to date and later marry IR, and have bi-racial, he may treat your children like second class citizens... He has done you a great favor by making this known now. Kick his ass to the curb, BEFORE he does it to you. Tell him where to go and how to get there.

Black people and their ultimatums, can take several seats. I bet you his ass would date a Kim K look alike without blanking, because he has options, but you're suppose to be the backbone of the community...GTFOH!

1 year, 3 months ago on Question of the Week: "My Brother Says He Will Disown Me If I Date White!"

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When I first found this blog, the first thing I did was check the ABOUT section on the top of the page next to HOME. I did that to avoid looking like a stupid troll with too much time on my hand. *hint hint*

1 year, 3 months ago on BET Heiress Marries a Rainbeau! Just Goes to Show Rich Folks Want Ratchet For Eveyone Else EXCEPT Their Own.

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I don't understand the big hooplah. He wants what all fathers should want for their child. Why would he what otherwise? Do drug dealers take their own poison? hell no! Just because they sell it, doesn't mean they use it. BET is a business, his source of income...that's it! He knows what sells and he puts it out there. I as a consumer, disagree with EVERYTHING BET stands for, so I don't watch or support anything or anyone associated with it. 

He is not the moral police or gatekeeper of the BC. Just like we can't blame the food industry for the roll around our waist, we can't put the blame of a decaying community on BET. Is BET helping the decay? maybe, but BET wouldn't exist if WE didn't watch and support it. if we're going to throw stones at him, make sure we leave some for ourselves. We support his lifestyle and the sh8t he allows to be broadcast on BET.

I remember an article a few years back when Lourdes (Madonna's daughter) was about 9 or 10 years old, Madonna said she doesn't allow her to watch TV or listen to music she feels promotes promiscuity, um ma'am you are the Queen of promiscuity....hilarious!  These artists, executives, producers and so on, don't give a rats ass about the "community", not yours or mines. They are in it to stay relevant enough to remain rich. If you don't see and understand that, that's your problem, not theirs. They throw it out there, if you buy it...... cha-ching! 

It's not personal, it's business.

 

 

1 year, 3 months ago on BET Heiress Marries a Rainbeau! Just Goes to Show Rich Folks Want Ratchet For Eveyone Else EXCEPT Their Own.

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I'm in for squats and push ups! Where do I sign up? 

1 year, 4 months ago on BB&W Fitness Challenge Part One: Sign Up and You Could Win $100 Visa Gift Card!

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Don't know who this Rose person is, judging from the comments I don't care to search.

Never understood the obsession some have with celebrities. How they dress, keep their hair and live. 

Whether Blue's hair is nappy, soft, unkempt, blond or what have you, at the end of the day she is the daughter of the King and Queen of music, meaning what you think wont make or break her. And her life doesn't affect your pocket or mine. Let's focus and write about Boomshiqua  "raising" little Quajanay, who's well kept hair, Timberlands, and Jordans are all funded by my tax dollars. 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on Black Women Have a Sickness When It Comes to Hair

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Congrats ladies!! This sounds AWESOME :)

This is how I feel right now...

http://youtu.be/Asbv9pAqxsw

1 year, 4 months ago on My Semi-Formal Announcement...The "SheThrives" Network is Set to Launch in Two Weeks!!

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 @DeepWater 

Charlize is absolutely STUNNING! 

1 year, 4 months ago on Gwyneth Paltrow, 40, Makes "People's" Most Beautiful Woman

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Hmm, I often wonder who decides these things? Is she pretty, yes! Most beautiful in the ENTIRE world, not so much. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Gwyneth Paltrow, 40, Makes "People's" Most Beautiful Woman

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We need a love button. I love every bit of this post from beginning to end. Awesome job  @Toni_M !!!

It's funny how our society expect us (black women) to support the community and black men no questions ask, yet, very little is expected from the community and black men in relation to how they treat us. 

 

 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on Why We <em>Don't</em> Talk About Black Men: A Response Post Of Sorts...

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"What are your specific thoughts on what ‘reciprocity’ means? How do you you reconcile your idea of reciprocity with the idea that a black woman should be a good citizen of any community–including the national community–which she inhabits? Do you even believe that black women should choose to be good citizens of their local, national, and global communities?"

 

Reciprocity means an exchange, you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. I go to hell and back for you, because I know, if push comes to shove you will do them same for me. 

I do agree that black women should be good citizens and help the community, if they so choose. But, Black women, like any other race of women are not obligated to help, support or rally for causes on the basis of race. Supporting every and any cause that affects black people, doesn't make me any more empathetic or "black" than a woman who choose to look away.  

As humans we are wired to care and feel empathy when another human is hurt, but we are not obligated to join the Pickett line. Many of us can't afford to join the Pickett line, while some have been there, done that and  too tired to care. They gave all they could, but received nothing in return, the "community" got comfortable and expected them to come to the rescue. But, when her issues are bought to the table, she is left to plan and execute the plan solo. 

 

In the pass few yrs I've notice a staggering amount of internet activist. They sit in there homes, completely removed from the realities of the "community", but take it upon themselves to tell others how they are not doing enough for the community, because data compiled by so and so proves as much. They feel more could be done and should be done, but offer no real plan, other than telling other women what they should do, but  leave a question mark and an optional box for BM. After all, the world is falling apart, and it's up to women, specifically black women, to put it back together.

If we are to stay true to the meaning of reciprocity, many of us would never entertain helping or supporting anything black, because we seldom, get back what we've put in.  

 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on Reciprocity: What does that word mean to you?

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 @JennMJack 

 

HILARIOUS! I'm not sure where the majority of posters on here live, but I"m from NYC, I know and see both sides. Racial profiling and injustice is an everyday occurrence here. As such, I know the role we play in its existence and refuse to play victim. 

1 year, 4 months ago on <em>REVISITED in light of Trayvon Martin verdict</em><br /> -- <br />Black Murder Versus White Murder: Why Jamie Foxx Haters Represent More Than Racial Hatred

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 @WriteToLive  @JennMJack  @kia  @Brenda55 

 

The real solutions is for black men to step up and teach black boys how to be MEN. These boys are seen as dog poop because their fathers don't give a rats  behind about them, but want society to do their jobs for them.

These responses reminds me of rappers/singers like Drake, don't know a lick about the hood and the people who live there, yet have so much to say about it. I don't rely on Jamie Foxx, CNN or other media outlets to tell me what is going on in the hood, I am there!

We are a dying breed because we have way too many women doing it alone, while the men sit around blaming everyone but themselves.

 

1 year, 4 months ago on <em>REVISITED in light of Trayvon Martin verdict</em><br /> -- <br />Black Murder Versus White Murder: Why Jamie Foxx Haters Represent More Than Racial Hatred

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 @JennMJack  @kia  @Brenda55 

 

Jenn, I'm far from a black man hater ( was married to a BM for over 15 yrs and have black children), and definitely not a "pearl clutcher". I am not blind to the politics you speak of, but I refuse to close my eyes and pretend we are not helping the agenda. I marched for Trayon Martin, Amadou Diallo, Patrick Dorismond, and countless others. I've lived and seen the politics you speak of, up close and personal. While I may not live in the hood, I work and volunteer there, my response is not one compiled from stats on the net, but real life as it happens. Our community is part of the problem and enables the politics you speak of. Why is a brown/black life less important than a white life, because WE have allowed it. 

Are black men targets of hate and racial profiling? ABSOLUTELY! But let's be real for a minute, for every black boy/man who dies under the hands of cops and thugs like Zimmerman, hundreds are killed by their own, because their life didn't matter.  

 

 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on <em>REVISITED in light of Trayvon Martin verdict</em><br /> -- <br />Black Murder Versus White Murder: Why Jamie Foxx Haters Represent More Than Racial Hatred

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My mother has a saying " The way you treat your home, will set the tone for others when they visit". For years black men have made it their business to portray themselves as careless thugs, they devalue their lives and the lives of others.... They live to die. It was only a matter of time before others joined them in the belief that,  Black life is worthless and unimportant. You can't treat your own like trash, yet expect others to see their value.

There are thousands of music videos where rap artists revel at their ability to survive countless bullets, murder attempts and glorify death and the prison system. Songs written and sung by rappers. about their loyalty to the "game" and gang of choice. Songs that ignite rage, and glorify violence and death.  Just a few days ago, DMX ( a rapper?) interviewed by Iyanla Vanzant, talked about his time in jail, like it was a visit to grandma's house.

How do you respect people who have little, to no respect for themselves? Why should an outsider care about your death, when those closest to you, could care less.... when your self don't see your value.

We've set the tone for this. A tone that can't and wont be change by others in the community. Black men are the sole culprit in this war on black teens. It is their responsibility to fix it. 

 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on <em>REVISITED in light of Trayvon Martin verdict</em><br /> -- <br />Black Murder Versus White Murder: Why Jamie Foxx Haters Represent More Than Racial Hatred

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 @Toni_M  @JJDPRO 

 

"One questionable letter is not going to stop black women from tap-dancing towards the exit,"

 

http://youtu.be/dIzQVYDYtKA

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @The Working Home Keeper  @JJDPRO  @EarthJeff 

 

The poster knows the difference between porn and sex between married people. He wants us to believe that white men desire us for sex and only sex, to fulfill their wicked fantasies.... blah blah blah.

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @JQAbroad 

 

Exactly!

Her main concern was regaining her "sexual attraction" for her husband... what?!

I'm kinda disappointed with Essence, a magazine full of well educated people, yet this made its way to the public?  

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @The Working Home Keeper  @DeepWater  @Toni_M  @Brice Cameron 

 

Hate crimes are labeled "hate" and given publicity, when the victim is black and male. Any other scenario, is a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

1 year, 4 months ago on All The People Crying About Letters And Conspiracy Theories: Go Get Your Life!

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This is both sad and hilarious. The children can attend classes together, but can't be at the same prom...What is the fear here?  

1 year, 4 months ago on First Black/White Prom at Georgia High School Proves Race is Still an Issue

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 @EarthJeff  @JJDPRO 

 

"So, to back to the letter. I would have to say, that  this white husband is only doing what we men love to do. And, that is role play during sex.  Only that, this husband has his  fantasy partner as his wife"

 

Please speak for yourself! ALL white men don't do this, that or whatever.

This letter is not about role play, but you know that. You post for the same reason this letter exist, to make sure black women remember the big bad "massa".

Not buying your response or this letter.   

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @Trisha93 

 

"Well this is what you get when you married a man for his money."

 

That is exactly what the writer and the people who put this junk out there want you and me to think and say.  The idea that wanting to marry a man of means, makes you a gold-digger, and a relationship should be about love and only love... complete nonsense.

The idea that a college educated, financially stable woman should settle for Tayquan, who's still trying to figure out "the game" and keep his hustle right, is absurd. You are to marry withing your class, not race. You need a man who have and will continue to invest in himself, the way you have in yourself.  I say this to my daughters (ad nauseum) every chance I get, you need to marry a man whose parents valued him and his well being, as much as I valued yours. 

 Don't buy into the "you can't help who you fall in love with" nonsense. If you position yourself to be in the right places, you will find the right person, who fit your needs. And last time I check, you can't pay rent, mortgage, utilities with LOVE.

 

This letter is all about derailing black women so they will re-think their position and come back to the "community" and give the brothas another try. That's why the N word was used as often as it was, to remind you, no matter how educated or rich, white men will always see you as a N*gger B*tch. Well guess what, so will black men.  But the only difference is this,  black men will call you a N*gger B*tch, while driving your car, eating your food, sleeping in your bed in your house, yet still think he deserves respect and loyalty because he is a man. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @Brice Cameron  @Oaktown Paul  

 

"Abiola was quick to jump to the defense of all black men even though they were not being attacked."

 

Exactly! 

This letter needs to be investigated, along with the motives of the people who published it. We may be in the same fight, but not everyone wants the same outcome. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @cocoababe 

 

If you're waiting for Essence or any of their writers to publish such a letter.... don't hold your breath or take on any bets. Ain't happening! Black love, no matter how dysfunctional is the only love worth printing. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @Oaktown Paul  

 

Thank You @Oaktown Paul  !!

All in all, the letter and  response is in support of black men. I said this on the other thread and I'll say it again here, this letter should have gone to the trash.  It was not publish to help "us" or the IR community. 

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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"I really couldn’t care less whether or not the letter is real, though if it is, I hope the woman in question gets herself together and leaves immediately. The major takeaway for me personally was the commentary, and so it is for any sensible black woman. Because the letter can be fake, but the hateful response from black people? All too real and all too predictable."

 

 

I agree with you , the letter is useless. But, my question is why? why entertain it? why must we give every fake a platform to spew their hate. If the aim is to empower, and help black women advance in dating outside of their race, why even publish a letter that may pull them backwards? Fake or real, it got us talking, and may have put doubt in the minds of many. The letter had way too many inconsistencies and stereotypes, it should have went to the shredder, not for public display. 

1 year, 4 months ago on All The People Crying About Letters And Conspiracy Theories: Go Get Your Life!

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 @uninterracial  @Shaylah 

 

Don't even get me started on that douche-bag... idiot!

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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When I first read this letter, my immediate thought was to dismiss it because of the source (we all know Essence is not exactly pro IR).  But, as a person who frequent other blogs and IR sites, I've seen first hand the thirst and neediness of black woman wishing to find a white man. That need  (driven by insecurities and low self- concept) has black women accepting any and every old behavior as “normal”.

 

Does the letter sound suspicious? Absolutely! But I can almost guarantee that somewhere there is  a woman facing similar issues, yet think it is okay. We have a lot of women entering IR dating with rose colored glasses, thinking a white man is the answer to all their problems and can’t do no wrong.  Black women need to understand vetting, and learn how it is done. You must vet ALL men white, black, yellow, rich or poor… formal education does not equate class. If this letter is in fact real, I would advise the lady to run. He is disrespecting you both in and outside of the bedroom, there is nothing funny or acceptable about it. And, definitely not the norm.  What you are experiencing is abuse. Put on your big girl pants and learn to take care of yourself. No social status, riches, or man is worth that kind of pain.

 

Just in case this letter is a hoax, written by a BM, BW? I hope the writer understands, this will not stop any of us from finding a mate or dating white men. We black women have heard it all. We hear it from the  “community” and on thousands of music videos aimed at keeping us in our place. We are not phased and will not be derailed. If you’re so concerned with issues regarding IR dating, you should take that up with “brothas”. There are more of them dating and marrying out, then there is of us… but don’t worry, we will catch up!   

 

1 year, 4 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question

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 @Jamila  @Karla  @MyBetterSelf 

 

Did she get into a fight before the prom? smh

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @Karla  @MyBetterSelf 

 

I'm part of the PTA at my daughters, so I'm there quite often, let me tell you, the clothes worn by the girls are unbelievable. There must be a shortage of belts, bras and long shirts. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @MyBetterSelf 

We just bought my daughters prom dress, and let's just say it does not look anything like the choices in that link... What the heck?! 

Thank God she is very conservative.

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @Karla  @CAPT SMOOTH 

 

"Are you excited about your new job?"

 

I am. I've always wanted to move west, but fear got the best of me. With my oldest going away, it is now or never. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @CAPT SMOOTH 

 

You're absolutely right.  We will live on skype, thank goodness for that. 

I have to get use to it, she has heart set on going to Europe for her masters, so this only the beginning. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @wanderingdreamer  @Karla 

 

We've had the most bipolar weather I've ever experience. It will go up to 81 degrees today. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @KingsDaughter  @CAPT SMOOTH 

 

Yes, she really is. Which is why I'm keeping my anxiety to myself. She can not wait, her dorm list is growing arms and legs. LOL

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @CAPT SMOOTH 

 

I'll be moving west ( job opportunity), she's going further north. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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In approximately 135 days, my daughter, first born, partner in crime will be going off to college. I'm starting to have a major case of separation anxiety. My baby is growing up way too fast, I'm not ready. 

Where did the years go and why are they moving so fast.

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @Karla 

 

I know exactly what you mean. it is FINALLY starting to feel like spring here too, I busting out the mini skirt and letting my pedi free. I absolutely love spring. I get a serious case of sundown syndrome during winter. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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Unless something happened behind the scenes, that we the public are unaware of, I don't see the need for an apology. He gave her a compliment, it didn't take away or add to her credentials or background, but it is the truth.... she is very attractive.

While I'm not a huge fan of our pres. I much prefer a president who can acknowledged such things and move on, than one who pays little attention in public, but have "private" up close and personal meetings on tax payers time. Clearly, some of us need to turn off Scandal asap. It is not that serious.   

1 year, 4 months ago on Did President Obama Owe Kamala Harris an Apology?

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 @DWB 

 

My condolences to you and your family. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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Great read! Thanks for sharing... waiting for part deux.

1 year, 4 months ago on EarthJeff: Not in Kansas anymore – On the road with 18 teenagers… Part 1

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Love, love, love this article. So happy for you, please keep us posted.

1 year, 4 months ago on Swirling After Forty: One Woman's Success Story

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 @wanderingdreamer  @onmywayup  @Karla  @KingsDaughter 

 

"It's important to be mentally healthy and actually like yourself before getting or even thinking about a relationship."

 

Exactly! 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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Not only is our success a threat, but the fact the blogs like yours are reaching young women who live in the "hood", helping them understand, there is life outside the hood. You may have been raised in the hood, but you don't have to stay there. 

The Scandal "hate" is not hate at all, just gut wrenching, I'm losing my gravy train fear. 

It's always been a motto in the BC that no one can or will love us, like the brothas. No matter how educated, our features can not cross the color line... The fact  that a black women is the lead in the number one show on prime time, proves otherwise. 

Hold on tight my "brothas", the train is about to come to a stop.

1 year, 4 months ago on The Best Explanation for Why [Some] Black Men Troll Black Women's Blogs.

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 @onmywayup  @Karla  @KingsDaughter  @wanderingdreamer 

 

FB swirl groups are the absolute worst! "we" are at our worst.

When I said  women should lose weight for self, and only self,  I don't mean to dismiss the positive attention you will get from a man, and how much we like and deserve it. But, we must first get our minds right. When your mind is in the right place you want to eat right, exercise and live a longer happier life. And, without even trying or sending friend request to men who don't want you, while doing you, you'll find your better half. 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @Karla  @KingsDaughter  @wanderingdreamer 

 

I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but this is just MY observation...

You're correct, a new swirler should "enter with caution", but what I've notice and the reason why this man may feel he has the cajones, to come out guns blazing, is how thirsty black women are for white men. Putting them on  pedestals before even vetting or getting to know the man under the skin.

I frequent blogs and join groups where the attitude and manner in which ladies (using the word loosely) throw themselves at white men is down right disgusting. Making white men think they are a prize. Again, I'm not saying they are not, I date white men exclusively and know they have options. But, gosh darn it so do WE! 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @KingsDaughter  @Karla  @wanderingdreamer 

 

" I've seen posters on this blog talk about their weight/losing weight so I wondered about them."

 

I've post about about my weight numerous times, while I'm not obese, I don't fit into the "muscular" frame, he is looking for. Which is fine, since I'm not trying to be "muscular" or attract men looking for "muscular' women. 

I agreed with the thought behind the post, but his choice of words were poor, making him sound arrogant and rude.... It is the tone that makes the music. 

After re-reading the post and realizing he his new to swirling, It made much more sense.... A seasoned swirler would know better. 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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 @Brenda55 

 

I remember (many posts ago) you mentioning start a weight loss thread? post? for ladies who are trying or wanting to lose weight, is that still an option? 

 

 

1 year, 4 months ago on And Again...Fresh Off-Topic Thread!!

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"One of the boys who was arrested for the crime of murdering Thandeka admitted that he had called the girl around 2AM Saturday and asked her to come outside."

 

The fact that this was done by someone she knew and trust, makes me sad and angry.

Who is raising these boys? 

1 year, 4 months ago on Fourteen Year Old South African Teenager Thandeka Madonsela Found Raped and Murdered

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