I thought the "whatever it is" was a shot at the Big 12 having 10 teams and the Big 10 having 14 teams.
I have no doubt that UC/Bama would get better ratings in Cincinnati that UK/Bama. But, unfortunately for UC, the cable networks are about subscriptions, not ratings. So, because of the popularity of UK in the Cincinnati area, the Cincinnati providers would be inclined to carry the SEC network, so all of the UC fans will still be "subscribers" to the SEC network regardless of what conference UC is in. I'm not saying UC shouldn't be in the SEC, I'm just saying that is why they won't be. I like UC . . . I lived a block away from there in Corryville for 3 years.
Question 2 . . . would Mike Brown let UC use PBS for 4 or 5 home games per year . . . probably not, but then again I gave up trying to predict what he would do years ago.
All that said, I hope the Big XII takes UC sooner than later. Both UC and UConn deserve better than the "American 12" or whatever they are going to call that conference.
UK/UC should play in football, but it's ridiculous that they don't play in basketball. I thought after the 2nd round tournament game in '05 we would see a series between them. Unfortunately, no.
The SEC is already in the Cincinnati TV market because of UK. Jefferson Pilot/Lincoln Financial were already carried on Cincinnati stations because those stations serve Northern Kentucky. The new SEC network will be carried in Cincinnati as well.
None of that is a knock on UC. But the Big XII is their best bet. (And for the record, I do wish UK/UC would play each other).
Petrino would be a horrible hire for Kentucky. Kentucky needs all of the things you mentioned above, but the thing they've always lacked is not SEC talent, but SEC depth. In Rich Brooks' best year, their starting lineup was as good as anyone in the country, indicated by their midseason top 10 ranking and win over eventual national champion LSU. They started 6-1, but finished 7-5, because they didn't have the depth to handle the full SEC season. And that's why they never sustain success year to year--one group graduates, but there is no next group to take their place. So it's always rebuilding, never reloading.
Bobby Petrino's problem isn't that he is dirty . . . it's that he leaves badly. Louisville, Atlanta, Arkansas, and if he leaves Kentucky, history says he will leave that badly. And at a place like Kentucky, leaving badly will undo any good he does in the 3 or 4 years he would be there. People compare it to hiring Calipari, and there are a lot of reasons that comparison breaks down, but even if they are the same, here's the difference: Kentucky basketball, at it's lowest point, is always only a few seasons from being back on top. Banned in '50, National Champs in '51. NCAA sanctions in '89, final 4 in '93. NIT in 2009, National Champs in '12. Kentucky football, at it's highest point, is always a few seasons away from collapse. It's going to take a coach who fits all of the criteria you listed, but also someone who can sustain that in the long term. That's not Bobby Petrino. And whoever it is, I'm not sure he wants to come to Kentucky.
Do your really think Kentucky loses to Samford?