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Oh great, now even the ploprof has to kowtow to the "but it's so heavy!" whiners. But be of good cheer, now the real fans will be able to achieve that scratched,beat-up look in no time. Why didn't they make the pusher out of plastic? A fine complement to titanium.

1 week, 3 days ago on Omega Seamaster Ploprof 1200M Co-Axial Master Chronometer Watch Hands-On

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Square watch = ugly watch. They lost me right there.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on After Training People To Forget About Watches, How Will Apple Teach Them To Love The Apple Watch?

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@MarkCarson @Chaz_Hen @emenezes Before you think about converting, please take note that there is nothing in the book saying that the 72 virgins are *human*. They say that when bin Laden arrived, they handed him a cardboard box containing 72 virgin mice.

2 months ago on Richard Mille RM 19-02 Tourbillon Fleur Watch Hands-On

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The ideal watch for audrey2 from little shop of horrors. I need blood and he's got more than enough....

2 months ago on Richard Mille RM 19-02 Tourbillon Fleur Watch Hands-On

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Contrary to what one might suppose, it is evidently not necessary to have a brain in order to be brainwashed.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Hublot Watches Get The Mr. Brainwash Treatment In Miami

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Richard Mille, Wankmeister Supreme

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Richard Mille RM63-01 Dizzy Hands Watch Hands-On

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If causing vicarious embarrassment were a crime, these guys would do life with no parole.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Richard Mille RM63-01 Dizzy Hands Watch Hands-On

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@Ulysses31  Tungsten [*not* tungsten carbide!] might be too hard. But I'd love to hear from someone who knows. Tantalum and Rhenium would be good too.

AP supposedly made a version of the ROO out of nearly pure platinum, including the bracelet. I'm guessing the weight would have been in the 700 gram range. That's the one we need. Unless somebody can persuade Herr Spinner of UTS to make a 4000M dive watch out of pure iridium.....

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Top 10 Gold Watches

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"Breitling has been releasing smaller watches for men as small as 38 mm...." Well there are always women who believe that size does matter; I guess it's good to know that some of them are so precise about it...

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Breitling Navitimer GMT 48mm Watch Hands-On

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What a great business model! The thing falls apart, customer complains, you fake a Russian accent and say, "you want authentic Russian experience or not!?"

2 months, 3 weeks ago on CCCP Heritage Watch Review, With Russian Slava Movement

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Perfect illustration of why nobody should ever make a watch out of crappium. I'm not just talking about the big scratch --- look at the infinity of tiny scratches on the case back. Hideous and cheap-looking, which is particularly ironic in this case...

3 months ago on Hautlence HL2.1 Watch Hands-On & HL2.5 Release

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I like these. But the tacky colored glass on the crown is horrible.

3 months, 1 week ago on New Rpaige DuoFace Timepiece: Birth Of A Watch

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@Time2Go @Zeitblom "Now, what's the excuse for the rest of Hublot's turdlets?"


Well, of course they are designed for the many, many *other* situations in life in which it is desirable or necessary to look like an idiot. Some are suitable for buying a used car, others for proposing to an ex-model, etc. So Hublot is really providing a public service.

3 months, 1 week ago on Hublot Big Bang Unico World Poker Tour Watch Hands-On

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@Time2Go @Zeitblom  Now that's just mean. Guffaw!

3 months, 1 week ago on Hublot Big Bang Unico World Poker Tour Watch Hands-On

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Mal fait, wow, truth in advertising carried to a new level.

By the way, the Principle of Equivalence is an idea Einstein used to construct General Relativity. So we have pretentiousness also carried to a new level. 

Executive summary: Crap.

3 months, 1 week ago on Greubel Forsey Art Piece 1 Tribute To Robert Filliou Watch

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@Time2Go The best thing would be to drop all of the words, just show the pictures, and open up the comment section.

3 months, 1 week ago on Hublot Big Bang Unico World Poker Tour Watch Hands-On

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No, no, NO! You haters have it all wrong! This is a watch for POKER players. A big part of that game is the image you project: you must convince the other players that you are basically an idiot. It's all part of the bluff.

Understand now?

3 months, 1 week ago on Hublot Big Bang Unico World Poker Tour Watch Hands-On

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@5803822 One is always told that iridium is ''brittle'', so that might be risky. Never having had the privilege of dropping a piece of iridium on the floor, I cannot however say whether iridium is *that* brittle. However, I do like the way you think. Of course iridium is hard to work with, but whether it is completely impossible to make a watch out of it I do not know. Anyone?  Of course an iridium watch would be extremely heavy, boo hoo.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Roger Dubuis Excalibur Automatic Skeleton Watch To Debut At SIHH 2015

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"This example by Patek Philippe shows that it is not uncommon, or even highly suspect for a company to control a certification process in-house in the Swiss watch industry."


Patek P does it, so that means it's ok? Errr.... well actually this scheme is a lot better than PP's ridiculous system of marking its own exam papers.


I think it's good that Omega is doing this, otherwise we will have more fiascos like IWC putting out in-house movements that keep far worse time than their ETA movements.


But on the other hand, I don't understand why Omega is making such a big deal about being resistant to magnetism. What's wrong with soft iron? Does the same thing or better, and it's cheap. Oh I'm sorry it's heavy isn't it, can't go about weighing down people's arms with some gigantic mass like 100 grams or something.....

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Omega Watches Will Be “Officially Certified” By New Swiss METAS Certification, COSC Abandoned

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"the case is much lighter feeling than......"

You make that sound like a good thing. It isn't.

I'm sorry to go on about this, but there is an increasing tendency in these reviews to assume that light = good. That may be true for dress watches, but I suspect that most people would dislike a light sports (let alone dive)watch. For me light = nasty and cheap feeling. And titanium scratches if you look at it the wrong way.

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Oris Audi Sport Limited Edition Watch Hands-On

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@MarkCarson @DG Cayse @Zeitblom Congoleum has the unique property of decaying into Zaireum, which then decays back into Congoleum.


Seriously, though: they went to a lot of trouble to make something that looks like it just came out of a serious burns unit. Why not invest all that effort into making a watch out of some interesting metal? Tantalum is not that expensive, they could be the first to put out a tantalum watch at a reasonable price. Now *that* would be a real innovation. 

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Tempest Forged Carbon Dive Watch Review

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I appreciate the effort to avoid stainless steel, but carbon, especially forged carbon, looks and (even more so) feels like rubbish. Come on, let's see a case made of tantalum [yes, I know they exist, but only the form of an ultra-expensive isotope that can only be mined in the hellish war-zone that is Switzerland) or Gadolinium or Rhenium or something. Or even sterling silver would do. Not something that would look too cheap for a Swatch, or so light that it would float.

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Tempest Forged Carbon Dive Watch Review

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15k for a gold watch?! Don't they know that gold is 20k an ounce in Switzerland?

Anyway, nice watches. But nowhere near as nice as the 1969 chrono they put out in 2012.

4 months ago on Zenith El Primero Synopsis Watch Review

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@iamcalledryan "depreciation is rapid compared to the PP - which is a true investment piece"


Yep, that's undeniably one good thing about PPs --- it is so easy to get rid of them. 


You're right about maintaining the Piaget. But I hear the same thing about PPs. 


"You never really own a PP --- it's your kids who get socked with the really astronomical bills."


Catchy.

4 months ago on Patek Philippe 5270 Perpetual Calendar Chronograph Watches Hands-On

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@iamcalledryan A dull dial is never excusable. 


I'm not saying that these aren't technically excellent watches. I'm just saying that the main reason people buy them is that they are expensive. And that they are boring. 


As for better watches: I'd much rather have a Piaget Altiplano 900P. A lot more intriguing, and certainly vastly better to look at. Sure, not so much heritage, but not so much feeling like a sucker when you buy one either.

4 months ago on Patek Philippe 5270 Perpetual Calendar Chronograph Watches Hands-On

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@MarkCarson @Zeitblom I'm an Australian, wanna see my melanoma scar?

Actually, that's what I say when I am laughed at for my ''eccentric'' habit of wearing

a hat in the tropics. 

4 months ago on Buying Watches In Miami, Florida: Kirk Jewelers

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"Our clients love two-tone watches with Gold and Steel - don't they just look great on a tanned wrist? "


No.


Next!

4 months ago on Buying Watches In Miami, Florida: Kirk Jewelers

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I recently spoke with someone who works with ''problem gamblers'' at one of the local casinos. She said that they mostly fall into two groups: the stupid ones who really think they can get rich, and the strange ones who secretly derive a perverse pleasure  from losing their money. I thought of this when I consider PP: dull designs, good finishing but nowhere near justifying the price, not rare or exclusive in any sense [they knock out something like 40 or 50 *thousand* watches per year!].... So what *does* justify the price? Answer: the price itself, the mad fun of throwing money away, knowing perfectly well that you can get far better watches for far less.......

4 months ago on Patek Philippe 5270 Perpetual Calendar Chronograph Watches Hands-On

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I think I'm starting to understand the perpetual calendar thing...... they're just catering to the rapidly growing Alzheimer's demographic. 

4 months, 1 week ago on A. Lange & Söhne Langematik Perpetual Watch In White Gold

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Superb article. More of this, and less of celebrity endorsement bullshit please.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Movement Hands-On Series Episode 1: MB&F HM6 Space Pirate

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When the density of matter becomes too large, an event horizon forms and shields the object from external view. Alas that the Universe seems to have made an exception in the case of bullshit.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Aloe Blacc Interview: Pop Star, Process Nerd, Watch Guy, Friend Of IWC

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Excellent solution of the one-hand problem. Finally a complication that isn't laughable. Pity about the pseudo-antique design.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Konstantin Chaykin Genius Temporis Single Hand Watch With A Twist

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@MarkCarson @Zeitblom  I hear that he is to be honoured by a limited edition extra-large skeleton Hublot watch, the Wide Open Biver.

4 months, 3 weeks ago on INVITE: The World’s Most Expensive Watches Book Launch Party In Los Angeles

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What I wouldn't give not to have something signed by Mr Beaver!

4 months, 3 weeks ago on INVITE: The World’s Most Expensive Watches Book Launch Party In Los Angeles

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Sublime, restrained, classy. Of course all Hublots can be described in that way, but this piece represents the apex of horological art, the Beethoven's Ninth of timekeeping, the


BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Hublot King Power Los Angeles Lakers Watch

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What a ghastly mess, looks like it was run over by a Ferrari. Only one is to be made.... Can we have that in writing?

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Vacheron Constantin Traditionnelle Calibre 2253 L’Empreinte Du Dragon Watch With Engraved Scales

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To my surprise I find that I actually like this. What a pity that it is made of titanium and not a real metal.


"It really does feel as though it should be heavier, but the light weight is certainly welcome."


No it isn't actually. If I dropped 200 large on a watch I damn well want to know it's there. 

4 months, 3 weeks ago on MB&F HM6 Space Pirate Watch Hands-On Debut

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24kt ! I love impractical things.

In Asia, 24kt gold jewellery is not uncommon. Usually however it is bought with the understanding that you can take it back and have it melted and re-made for a small fee. Something tells me that Bulova doesn't have a similar plan in mind....

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Join aBlogtoWatch With Bulova & Feldmar Watch Co. In Los Angeles On November 20th, 2014

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@MarkCarson @Zeitblom  I think I recognise another alt.tasteless alumnus, right? :-)

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Christophe Claret Margot Watch For Ladies Hands-On

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@MarkCarson @spiceballs I think Rolex have already patented "Spooge". Along with the Rolex Felch.

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Christophe Claret Margot Watch For Ladies Hands-On

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RJ strikes another mighty blow in its effort to look even more clueless than Hublot.

5 months ago on Romain Jerome Batman-DNA Watch Debut

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Well I'll be damned.... a skeleton watch that actually looks great! First I have ever seen.

Somebody asked earlier for us to say what price we would think fair for a given watch.

I would pay US9k for the steel one, 9K + the cost of the gold + 10% for the gold one. 

So yes, the prices are ridiculous.

To be fair though, I would far rather have one of these than a Patek P or an ALS.  

5 months, 1 week ago on Armin Strom Skeleton Pure Watches Hands-On

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Patek Philippe should get into this. They could make a wearable drone that works no better than any other, that looks boring, and that costs 50K even in base metals.

5 months, 1 week ago on Nixie Wrist Wearable Flying Drone

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@MarkCarson @Zeitblom  Correct, you wouldn't be able to stamp out parts for the case of a tungsten watch. You would have to carve them from an ingot, as Herr Spinner does for his UTS watches. I wonder if he'd do it.... of course the result would weigh somewhere north of 800 grams.... details, details.

5 months, 1 week ago on Chopard Grand Prix De Monaco Historique Chronograph Watch Review

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@MarkCarson @PaulMiller1997 Correct, it is not as scratch resistant. And there are plenty of very light steel watches out there. So it seems pointless to me. 


But I can certainly understand the desire for materials that *are* harder. I'd  go for a watch made of tungsten.....

5 months, 1 week ago on Chopard Grand Prix De Monaco Historique Chronograph Watch Review

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I don't get the appeal of titanium. Can anyone explain? Why not just make watches out of aluminium? Or tinfoil?


5 months, 1 week ago on Chopard Grand Prix De Monaco Historique Chronograph Watch Review

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@spiceballs @Zeitblom Have you seen the movie "Her"? In the future you will say, "What's the time?" and S. Johanssen will reply, "Your watch or mine?" etc etc etc

5 months, 1 week ago on 3 Concept Smartwatches That Could Be From Popular Swiss Luxury Brands

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@MarkCarson @Zeitblom I sympathise wilh all of that.... but sadly *we* are not the ones who steer the market. The question is: how should the watchmakers respond if these gadgets really take off among their clientele? One possible future dystopia looks like this: watches become exclusively something to be worn on special occasions, like suits and ties [remember those?]. Worse: peacockification sets in and everyone starts wearing Hublots. You get the picture....

5 months, 1 week ago on 3 Concept Smartwatches That Could Be From Popular Swiss Luxury Brands

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Jokes aside, I'm afraid that people are missing one basic point. Smart watches may not be able to compete with the real thing in terms of quality, style, etc etc etc. But they can and will compete for *space on your wrist*. Unless people start going bi-wristal, which won't happen much, the success of smart watches would simply mean that the real watch gets left at home. And that would be unfortunate. And that's why it is an issue for blogs like ABTW.


I think the way forward is the revival of the [of course mechanical] pocket watch. You can keep one in your pants pocket with a chain attached to a belt loop. You take it out and admire it at your leisure, while the smart watch does all the boring practical stuff on your arm.

5 months, 1 week ago on 3 Concept Smartwatches That Could Be From Popular Swiss Luxury Brands

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Today, JC Biver deplores horrible design. In tomorrow's episode, Sylvester Stallone explains General Relativity.

5 months, 1 week ago on 3 Concept Smartwatches That Could Be From Popular Swiss Luxury Brands

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