Kevin Vandever
- 168 comments
- 49 likes given
- 87 likes received
I'm your worst nightmare! Well, actually, I'm not. I'm the guy whose picture my ex-girl friends' Moms would display well after the relationships ended.
@yvettepistorio I am sorry to hear this all went down. I don't get to this blog every day (don't tell @ginidietrich), but I am part of this community and am happy to know so many came to your rescue like they did. Spin sucks, but bullies suck more!
I need to work more on number one from your list, but I feel fortunate to have understood the regret list before it was too late. I believe, for the most part, that I have removed the other four items from that list. It wasn't easy nor overnight and it took similar "life happened" events to what you experienced to wake me up, but as I read the list, I feel good at where I'm at today. I still have professional goals and aspirations, but so much more of my happiness is generated from those aspects of life outside of my corporate existence...and, as a result, I'm a better leader inside my corporate world because of this.
I don't really compare myself to others to measure my success or happiness, but I do learn from others and I am motivated from seeing others succeed under what I consider success to be, not what our culture dictates. However, to answer your question, the one permanent change I could still make is to do more to live life true to myself and not let others' definition of success and happiness necessarily define my own. It's a work-in-progress for me.
Maybe this one post won't change an entire culture, but it might. If one person changes his or her ways because of this post, you've made a dent. That person will talk, write, or just live his or her new found life and others will notice and emulate. More will follow and so on and so on...soon, a culture is changed.
It is one of more important posts you've written and could only be topped by bringing back the corporate and speaker dress code debate.
Thank you!
I have used numbers six and seven in the past. I especially think you nailed it with number seven. The more you engage, the more you feed the troll. Starve the troll by ignoring him/her. Also, it's fun to fantasize shoving the keyboard up his...never mind. You get the point. Same goes for automobile trolls. I usually just ignore and pity them. A guy honked at me yesterday because I was a bit slow turning right on a green light. He didn't see that there were people crossing the street. When he honked a second time, I looked in my rear view mirror, made eye contact with him, and smiled. I'm not sure if he ever figured it out, or even saw me smile at him, because as we turned, he aggressively passed me on the left. I told my daughter that he probably needed a hug and left it at that.
@ginidietrich It's better than only listing six. Imagine your community holding its collective breath, waiting and searching for the seventh step? No, you're not an idiot, you're an extremely giving person who offered your readers a bonus step. Thank you! I know, I know...spin sucks!
Thank you for the tips, but...um...that's eight.
@ginidietrich Right! Award-winning. Almost forgot about that.
Think you've covered the secondary requirements. Primary, of course, is to make sure to keep your awesome tag line. I'm almost certain that any success you and your business has achieved can be linked to that.
Hasn't @ginidietrich fired you at least a dozen times? Nice post. Great to keep in mind should that Frid...I mean, Monday ever come.
@belllindsay @LucjanZaborowski We in IT need to do a better job at using English (or your native language of choice) when working with Marketing or anyone in the business. I agree with @belllindsay , each business unit has their own specific language, but IT sometimes...OK, often times...uses IT lingo to confuse or impress. I've made a living out translating IT-speak into English for the rest of the world who doesn't care how many buzzwords and acronyms we can use. Actually, I've extended that living into attempting to stamp out corporate speak in general, but that's a topic for another day.
@belllindsay Whew! Bit of a nightmare is way better than a horrific, make-nightmare-on-elm-street-look-like-a-disney-movie nightmare. We're getting better in IT.
Good stuff Lucjan. I, and my IT colleagues, have worked with our Marketing department for many years to get where we are now, which is not perfect, but far better than we were in 2003. We've used some of the criteria and suggestions from your post. When we took on other customers, thus causing Marketing to compete for my development resources even more, going Agile and allowing the product owners (the business) to discuss the priorities among themselves helped the process. Also, the years of working together, getting to know each other personally and professionally, and showing the value we all bring to the company has done much to move us along and trust each other when these prioritization issues come up. Listening and attempting to see things from the other department's perspective are also important. Not always easy to do, but it's what I attempt to practice and preach to my folks. So, yes, please stay sane when dealing with IT and we will do the same when working with the business. I see a campfire, guitar, and joyous singing in the future...OK, too soon?
@chrisbrogan @ginidietrich Yes, the back-end business is missed in web site and mobile development, too. It's even worse than going to the club to kiss, but not have sex. It's like going to the club thinking you're having sex, but only kissing. Something like that.
@dwaynealicie @ginidietrich Well said.
Hi @dwaynealicie Welcome to...whatever this is. I'm in IT and don't even know what most of these people are talking about half the time, or maybe I don't know what half of these people are talking about most of the time, but in either case, I started listening and posting a few years ago and can't seem to escape. You may want to run while you have the chance.
My daughters used to say "Girls rule, boys drool". I don't think it explains anything discussed in the post or the comments, but there is some significance to the statement.
@wagnerwrites Wow. Both legs. You don't mess around. Not sure I want to venture there. You must really wanted to write.
@ginidietrich No, nothing glorious like a TV accident while on tour. Next time, though. Yes, it was probably the best move as I was behind and the publisher was getting nervous.
@ginidietrich So I could make time to write. Duh! Basketball. I messed my ankle up over the years and finally needed to have ligaments mended and reattached to the bone.
I told a friend I was writing a book and she said "Cool! Break a leg!" So I did. I wrote most of my first book while recovering from ankle surgery, a few of the chapters while on Vicodin. I was in bed all day with no tv, no internet (before it really took off), and no social media (way before SM existed). Nothing to do but to write, and write colorfully in a few spots. I recommend it. Sure, it hurts like hell to have surgery, but it might not be much more difficult than to sit on the beach avoiding all-inclusive alcoholic beverages all day.