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The fact that you drink at 2:30 in the afternoon makes my heart soar. I'm pretty sure we'd be great friends...or at least drinking buddies!!

2 years, 4 months ago on Cocknails: Holiday


The advantage of having friends that own horses and are mechanics is that you can pack someone's wheel wells on their car full of horse shit. Of course only after you remove their washer fluid and fill it with piss. Not that I've ever done such a heinous college...years ago...

2 years, 4 months ago on Getting Even


@JoAnnaMarieWaddoups AND Pam makes a great lube.

2 years, 5 months ago on Cooking Spray Manicure Setter


I'm pretty sure I had a loose-stool that color and consistency when I had mono...I'm sure it would have looked much cuter with a white marshmallow ghost floating on it.

2 years, 6 months ago on Orange Hot Chocolate


The song "Hungry Eyes" is stuck in my seems oddly appropriate for this post.

2 years, 6 months ago on Ogre Eyes Hot Chocolate


You definitely need to make time for pooping. Maybe if you wax your eyebrows WHILE pooping you could buy a little time?

2 years, 7 months ago on Homemade “Dry” Shampoo