Bio not provided
@Oaktown Paul I heard once from a White male friend from the most rural, whitest part of the country ever that he started having an appreciation for Black women when he saw how much they were achieving on their own. In his eyes, more Black women are able to hold up their end of the bargain and are loyal and steadfast partners. He likes women who are "about something and have their shit together" (his words), and is very proud of the women in his family who embody those qualities. He developed this perception through dating individual Black women but also by traveling to many countries where, frankly, he saw lots of Black women holding down the fort in many ways, often without the support of their men. Women are women to him, but the "brand" of a Black woman is compelling to him because of behaviors I think many of us would jump to designate as non-feminine or "strong" in a negative sense. I thought that was really interesting. At the time I fully expected him to say something like "Black women are no different from other women" given his track record (lol #rainheaux).
What you've said about your awesome girlfriend makes me very happy!
3 days, 23 hours ago on QOTW: One Viewer Asks, “Why Do Black Men Seem to Flock to White Women, But Not the Other Way Around?”
@Conor Flannery I think you're 100% correct. To me, these are the biggest reasons, and I think this fear is really hard for some White men to acknowledge and deal with even if they are in a relationship. In my experience if a man is not ready or strong enough to deal with these the relationship will die:
4 days, 4 hours ago on QOTW: One Viewer Asks, “Why Do Black Men Seem to Flock to White Women, But Not the Other Way Around?”
I believe that the men within ethnic groups marry out a higher rates than the women generally. BM have always married out more than BW in they U.S. It's not a recent phenomenon.
The Black woman's generic brand is tarnished. That's the truth. But individual Black women can change and have changed perceptions, and since we know that the "product" is basically a good one, the brand's reputation will improve even more. This cult of White womanhood worship is not based on the reality of all of the overweight, average and mediocre White women who benefit from the brand. It's the ideal and how deeply it is entrenched in the male psyche. That is not natural, it can change. Look at what the brand improvement campaign that Asian women have waged have done. Hell, look at what Black men have done.
Black women have a very compelling set of qualities to offer men. Those in the know are quietly making acquisitions, and there are signals in the dreaded media that affirm this when you look at commercials, tv shows, print media etc. They are not overwhelming or dramatic, but they are happening.
4 days, 5 hours ago on QOTW: One Viewer Asks, “Why Do Black Men Seem to Flock to White Women, But Not the Other Way Around?”
It's possible this is a real post partun picture because she barely had a baby bump at full term. Girlfriend would not be showing the selfie of her belly recovering from a Kardashian sized bump, especially not a big belly on a small frame.
She is in shape, but she also did not have a big hill to climb to get her shape back, as most women do.
Having said that: Not sure I believe the picture isn't enhanced.
I'd be proud in that scenario too, but I do think she knew what message she was sending and should expect this reaction.
6 days, 7 hours ago on RANT: Want Us to Stop ‘Fat Shaming?’ Then STOP With the Skinny Shaming!!
@belabela @Statuesque Your mother/grandmother sound like my late grandmother, who kept a loaded shotgun by her bed and everyone knew not to mess with, including the "whitefolks." Her mother was half Native American...5 ft nothing, fierce and tough as nails.
I am all for strength in women, but even female elephant matriarchs have male counterparts who are bigger, stronger and protective of their elephant ladies!
1 week ago on White Guy Asks, “How Do I Protect Black Women from DBR’s in Public?”
Halle Berry has Type I diabetes. Most who are Type 1 will not be overweight, but quite the opposite in that it's hard for them to keep weight on. So no one with Type II should warrant a comparison because they are not the same disease and do not manifesto the same ways. Type IIs tend to be the classic overweight diabetics.
1 week, 1 day ago on What Just Happened to Maria Kang is the Reason I Quit Talking About Black Women and Fitness.
OMG can people stop saying that "the Black community" is matriarchal? Stop trying to blame Black women for the dysfunctional patriarchy in place. The absence of male leadership does not a matriarchy make. Believe me, if women were in charge and it was a "woman's world" this crap would not be happening.
1 week, 1 day ago on White Guy Asks, “How Do I Protect Black Women from DBR’s in Public?”
I know I have one...
He's just a few years older than me, so this is the loss of another one in my generation that many loved to watch and looked forward to seeing again...like Heath Ledger. I didn't always like his movies but I always liked him. Very similar on-screen presence as Kevin Costner's.
1 week, 1 day ago on Rest in Peace, Paul Walker
Joel: You're a hero. So many people are afraid to stand up and do what's right, especially in defense of women and children. Thank you for defending a woman's honor and also not escalating the violence with those feral teenagers.
I'm so sad today.
1 week, 2 days ago on BB&W’s First Annual “Sexiest Man of the Year” Nominations!
Thank you, Toni :)
1 week, 5 days ago on BB&W’s First Annual “Sexiest Man of the Year” Nominations!
Henry made me forget about Jon Hamm....and I never forget about Jon Hamm.
Sorry I can't do the picture posting thing.
I don't know but I miss him. :). He is sexy!
Had me at Henry. I can't really think straight after those pics. I've had a thing for him since The Count of Monte Cristo.
His wife is one lucky woman.
Other faves: Christian Bale, Taylor Kitsch, Paul Walker, Cole Hauser, Sam Elliot, Eric Dane, Alex Siddig
It takes a certain strength of character, clear perception and untainted vision to see the beauty of dark skinned "African" looking women in a world that actively sabotages the natural inclination for the male (or female) eye to see beauty where it lies. I will respond to any man who possesses that strength, clarity and vision. I do not apologize or justify my response to a man who does not share my phenotype but sees my beauty, wants to honor me with his love, care and protection. I don't believe in racialized ownership, for me or men. I am not trying to sustain a race. I can only reproduce my own genes...you reproduce yours with whomever you like, and whatever the descendants look like is not up to us. I hear everything Kola says, and appreciate it, but I am a simple woman in search of my own happiness. I will seek it wherever it lies with no apologies to anyone. I am here because my majority African, but some European, Native American and Asian ancestors mixed, yet someone would want to see racial "purity" where there is none.
1 week, 5 days ago on Video: Kola Boof Speaks Her Truth About “Black Consciousness” in America
Adam is hot, and his PR/management team are the ones who secured the title for him. Kind of like Gwyneth Paltrow being hailed as the sexiest woman (not according to any men I know....).
Henry Cavill or Taylor Kitsch are much more appealing to me personally but Adam is still a hottie.
1 week, 5 days ago on Adam Levine “Sexiest Man Alive”…Really?!
@Brenda55 Brenda I'd say many of the offline rules apply. Being proactive does not mean acting like a hunter stalking prey. Women have and continue to do a lot to get noticed, whether subtly or more assertively, so that men will approach them. If you aren't willing to make yourself a "target" of interest to me you are asking too much of even the most assertive guys. I like to set the pace, and if a man moves quicker than I'd like and doesn't back off when I indicate he needs to slow down, he's gone. For example, guys who are interested in getting to know you will offer their number and want to call instead of communicate through the website. I won't do that right away, but I also want to see that level of interest right away. Another example is incessant texting vs. picking up the phone (especially if you live in the same local area). Anyone texting me and not calling to chat after a day or so is passing time, and I don't have that kind of time. Online dating should progress much the same as offline dating except that you haven't met face to face first. At least in my experience.
2 weeks ago on One Social Scientist’s Advice for Black Women Dating Online: Make the First Move.
@phillychick Totally!! They go out of their way in many, many ways to portray Black women as less than attractive in the media. Ironically, this means that you get soooo much more credit being an attractive Black woman than you should because people are trained to believe we all look and act a certain unappealing way. Then people can't stop gushing about how beautiful X, Y Z Black female celebrity is because they think she is a rare exception. That's why I think it is so important for Black women to show up in places they aren't supposed to be, looking attractive and feminine. People may not ever say anything to us personally but we'll make an impression that will start to dismantle the media portrayals.
@BeautyIAM I hear you. But the most important thing to do in my experience is to feel confident that when you present an image counter to/complicating the stereotypes, decent people can change their preconceived notions. When that happens, the decent thing to do IMO, given the massive anti-BF propaganda machine, is to encourage further evolution by being receptive to the change. If you aren't decent or refuse to evolve there's no reason for me to associate with you anyway.