Bio not provided
1970s/1980s Robert Deniro
Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy
Brad Pitt as Tristan in Legends of the Fall
Harvey Spector - Not Gabriel Macht, Harvey Spector
Just about every actor in Vikings
Taylor Kitsch, my husband
Ben Affleck in The Town
Ken Watanabe in The Last Samurai
Seal Team Six in Zero Dark Thirty
Maverick - Nothing Tom Cruise says or does can mess that up
16 hours, 34 minutes ago on Time to Reactivate the Friday Funny: “Who Would You Boink, Livefyre Edition!
"I only engage you in conversation in order to do the following: To demonstrate how much of an idiot you are, to show the world you’re an idiot, and to give real examples of your idiocy."
I'll co-sign the myriad of ways in which this is done by you and others. Sometimes it is so ridiculous I ask myself whether anyone can take this stuff seriously, but I know that many BW are still under a DBR spell of sorts, so it is important to demolish these arguments will cold facts and hard logic. Thank you, Christelyn. I'm sure this constant negativity can take a toll sometimes.
He is also clearly not talking to Christelyn, but trying to reach the more vulnerable targets: BW just opening their minds to swirling and who might harbor suspicions about the motives of non-BM who display interest. Some may even still believe what he is saying deep down. He knows all of that and is using a tried and true male tactic to make females who have discovered their power to feel vulnerable.
These Black males will never understand the meta-conversation underway. It honestly excludes them. The day the non-BM any of us would be interested in having take their cues from Black males like these will never arrive. Wait for the sun to rise in the west and gravity to stop working before that comes to pass.
We know that, he and others of his ilk do not. They repeatedly try to assert themselves in a conversation that no one of substance or quality wants to engage in with them....usually on the internet only because they lack the cojones to say it in person.
Black males do not have ANY (repeat, ANY) credibility with real MEN of any color. The only feelings they inspire are wariness (like a sane person would be of any rabid or wild predator) and contempt (for their failure to lead, constant whining, inflated sense of importance, and mistreatment of their women). The more a BW starts to date out, and seek quality partners, the more she will understand the truth of what I am saying (and others have said).
I will repeat what my recent ex said to me in a conversation about the problematic situation of BW here. He was expressing admiration for our strength and perseverance, and I had my antenna up about whether that was a backhanded compliment (*cough* muling) so I probed further. Ultimately, he said: "We know you have nothing to work with in too many cases."
It's the sad truth, it's not a secret, and men who know how to be men know who has the accountability.
4 days, 3 hours ago on Sh!t Haters Say to Discourage Black Women From Dating Out
I ADORE these men. And it's not only Lupita they embraced in 12 Years a Slave, but the amazing Alfre Woodard (who else thought she looked absolutely stunning last night?!).
I didn't know about Steve McQueen until this year but I noticed Chiwetel in Kinky Boots and just love his screen presence and talent. What Steve did is remarkable. He's the first Black winner of the Best Picture award, which means he was not just the talent, but the money too. He's a force to be reckoned with.
Got to give Brad Pitt (and probably Angelina) kudos for this too. He put his social capital to work to help the mountain move.
5 days, 2 hours ago on Judge Not An Ally By Their Skin Color or Whom They Marry…Support is an Action
@mystikspiral Yes ma'am. This has been my experience as well. Sponsorship is required for talented people to get connected to opportunity. Many of the people who moved mountains for me in my life have been men, and most have been White. I have received strong support from women along the way too, and some sponsorship from women who saw it as their purpose to help. So they exist too. I don't know whom they chose to marry and I don't care.
Like it or not, some of the most powerful people around are not skin mates or gender mates to a Black woman, but there are plenty who will want to see you succeed if you (as I was once told by a White male boss from the South) are "someone who just might be worth a sh*t." That was what he was once told by the man who took him under his wing...
Imagine naming a child "Denali" in this day and age. Yes, it's a national park and maybe you love the untamed Alaskan wildnerness so much you just had to express it with something permanent. But, seriously? You want to saddle your kid with an association to a General Motors vehicle? To make sure he has to explain that his parents aren't cruel, just self-absorbed? Get a tattoo to express yourself!
In case anyone is wondering, these people are White and not well-off. It isn't racial but does it help to lure the association with a ridiculous name if you are Black?
6 days, 1 hour ago on What’s In A Name?
Exactly. My name is uncommon in the U.S. and very common in India. My middle name is Russian. The more Indians that move here the more people might assume when reading my name that I am Anglo-Indian or American, but that's a new phenomenon.
My parents named me after other people. They both have old-fashioned French first names and probably didn't want to continue that tradition, but my name has always been unique enough to stand out without being "weird" like it would be if they had named me Dieudonne or something similar.
6 days, 9 hours ago on What’s In A Name?
"Ethnic" and "made up" are two different things. People get that everyone's name, especially a surname, isn't some boring English name. Lots of names that used to be "exotic" aren't anymore. Some very mainstream names in other countries are only exotic to Anglos and Anglophiles.
You of course have the freedom to name your child Qwantaz'ahjahneefah but try finding it anywhere in an African nation. So how is doing that expressing African pride? They couldn't even muster up the curiosity to go to a library and find a name that means something in an African language! Why should I believe that's a good thing? I'm sorry, I cannot stand it and think it is really abusive. There's a big difference between the Ebonys and Moniques of the world, and the hot ghetto mess of names that some people without a brain in their heads name their kids.
I went out with a guy in college who was Black American, but had a very traditional old French first name and an Indonesian last name. He simply shortened his first name. I'm sure people were surprised to see a Black guy raising his hand during roll call but it wasn't a big deal. He was the recipient of many raised eyebrows, and the average American person just doesn't know how to pronounce either one, but they knew they were real names.
1 week ago on What’s In A Name?
Someone mentioned this before, but to be honest, I also think this BF "Adonis" requirement before sanctioned swirling (imaginary, but that's what they say) is to draw a contrast between the BM they perceive to be chasing WW who are plain and overweight. I can't count how many times I have heard BW, NBABM or otherwise, say that if BM were going to step out, at least they could choose objectively beautiful and in-shape women.
So women who have been saying for years that BM are wrong for swirling with plain Janes can't exactly go after plain Johns without looking like hypocrites....
1 week, 1 day ago on Why are Black Women Mocked If Their Non-Black Mates Don’t Look Like Adonis?
YES. I have always been willing to support the goals/dreams of the man I am with, but, like you, needed to heed what my recent ex told me about his struggle to get where he wants to be, and isn't. He didn't want to bring that to the table, and I wasn't about to disagree with him. Mind you, his starting place was above where some people hope to end up, but you Capricorns are always climbing to the mountaintop.
Men too mentally caught up in getting somewhere without taking me with them can't provide what I need. I'm not in your pocket but I must be in your mind and heart.
1 week, 1 day ago on Tyrese Gibson Speaks on DBR Men “They Love Low Standard Women Because They’re Easy”
I am a Taurus. Capricorns are it for me! But not the one that was just here...eewww.
Thumbs way up for this article. The butt-hurtness that I used to feel in high school and college at being ignored by mostly Black men was epic. I didn't understand why I wasn't going out on dates or never kept a boyfriend (four words: wasn't giving it up). One day one of my male friends took pity on me when I was complaining about the campus bicycles making it impossible for girls like me to find romance, and he simply said "Look: Everybody knows that you have to come correct with you. Most of them ain't trying to work that hard, and you intimidate the hell out of them. Be happy they leave you alone."
There is not one guy I met before age of 25 that I would entertain accepting now. Not. One. Unfortunately it took me that long to accept the truth that Tyrese spoke. It was never because I didn't value myself, it was because I didn't think I'd ever meet men who were strong enough to deal with me. That changed when I got going in my career. I just wasn't around enough of the types of men that I needed to be around...of any color. I had traveled, but I hadn't opened my mind. I am single, but while it is frustrating at times because I don't want to be, it is not because I know that what I want and can accept is not found under any rock or around every corner. There's plenty that a man could do to make my life easier and better, but it is up to him to figure out how if he is to be in it. I truly do not need a man's income, assets or talents to thrive - it is additive rather than necessary.
1 week, 2 days ago on Tyrese Gibson Speaks on DBR Men “They Love Low Standard Women Because They’re Easy”
Black women with non-Black mates are mocked. Full stop. The reason doesn't ever matter, it is just an excuse to disparage her decision to break from the herd. That's why the reasons offered for why she shouldn't break this rule are contradictory and nonsensical:
Non-Black guy is too hot to really love her, too ugly to be worthy of her love....the right answer is to get a Black guy of any level of attractiveness
Non-Black guy is a good provider, so she is a gold digger, and if he is not, she is just with him because his "otherness" is a prize....the right answer is to get a Black guy with any level of income
Non-Black guy is kind and gentle, he is weak, and if he is more traditionally masculine, he is a jerk....the right answer is to get a Black guy with any type of masculinity
No matter the reason a Black woman chooses a non-Black man, the right answer to these people is always to chose a Black man (shared or otherwise), or be alone.
I have dated an average looking, bookish guy who was wealthy and a guy so handsome it hurt to look at him. Does anyone really think that I got a pass from (Black) people with this mindset when I was walking next to "Adonis?" Let me assure you, I did not. I was a gold-digging, dating-down sellout next to one and a superficial, Black Barbie-chasing-White Ken sellout next to the other.
All any of us have to do to be given the side-eye by some random Black person with this mentality is to be in the presence of non-Black men who appear to like and respect us, and we them. It doesn't even have to be romantic!
1 week, 2 days ago on Why are Black Women Mocked If Their Non-Black Mates Don’t Look Like Adonis?
@funbags253 Writing, singing, producing, dancing and being able to play multiple instruments/compose & arrange songs are considerable talents. So is acting. I don't care to debate musical taste, but it is not up for debate that a person who can do all of those things just might possess more talent than someone who cannot.
What talents of Robin Thicke's have been missed in this analysis?
1 week, 3 days ago on Oh Sh!t…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce!
@bellechose @Statuesque @uninterracial Apart from race (which I don't see as relevant), I doubt anyone should be held as a standard when the point is to focus on what someone represents, instead who someone is (celebrity or not). So I agree with you if that's the point.
I remember when Jon B made those comments in VIBE Magazine in the 90s. He caught hell for it, and perhaps paid the price career-wise.
Contrast that with Robert Deniro, who will apparently approach any good looking Black woman he sees with some variation of "hey sexy chocolate." He doesn't make his dollars from the legions of Black women who are looking for "representation" as a condition of consuming art. Both of these men have maintained quiet marriages to Black women. It doesn't mean one or both are men I'd want to be married to, or that stupid stuff doesn't come out of their mouths because they are attracted to Black women and don't express it in the right way.
I prefer to leave it at this: Robin Thicke is a talented guy who failed to sustain his marriage. While I appreciate the visual of a loving BW/WM pairing, and will always root for such a couple, if they don't make it that says nothing about anyone but those two individuals.
Comparing men who say dumb things or didn't marry the women they "should have" to R. Kelly, who is a criminal and despicable human being, doesn't work for me personally.
The point about supporting artists who appear to share your values is well taken though.
1 week, 4 days ago on Oh Sh!t…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce!
@bellechose @uninterracial Is his wife a "pass the hot sauce" "ghetto Black girl" that he said he liked back in the day?
He may be low profile now that the mute button has been pressed on his career but I don't think that comment highlights that he is someone to hold up as the anti-Justin or Robin Thicke.
@KingsDaughter @Statuesque @Brenda55 To give him credit where it is due: Lost Without U is a great song. And there were a couple of other decent songs on that album.
I do remember there being more talk/press because he is a White soul singer but even my White friends who like R&B didn't really know him by name like many Black fans of R&B do.
He has quite a Black female following...I wonder how his bad press has affected them?
@Brenda55 @Statuesque The Evolution of Robin Thicke was a breakout album, but unless people were really into contemporary R&B they did not know who he was.
I couldn't help but notice that there was no follow up to Blurred Lines that caught on.
There was just something about the way he was acting in the Blurred Lines video that I didn't like. He seemed way too eager, almost giddy, to be around those women for a guy who was supposedly happily married. Now the truth comes out, I guess.
It seemed like they were growing apart for a while. And I, for one, cannot blame her for wanting to separate from a man who can't keep it at home after he gets a little "mainstream" fame.
I thought more of him because he was with her, not the other way around. He always seemed a little lame and milquetoast to me.
No comparison to Justin Timberlake AT ALL. Robin Thicke will never be that talented.
Nuff said. What a perfect response.
3 weeks ago on QOTW: “I Have Five Kids. Is It Too Late for Me to Swirl?”