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@mzsunshine @jazzyfae45 Don't you love how he glosses over that, and tries to explain it in the most negative terms he can muster up?  It it is literally nonsensical to say that on one hand that WM marry BW onlybecause they seek a hot, skinny woman by any means, and then maintain that the women must be willing to grin and bear the marriage because they don't have better options.  EVERYONE in modern society has the option to be single and obtain financial or sexual resources as needed from random people.  A 50 year old woman is stil a younger woman to a 70 year old.  A woman willing to "man share" has plenty of options.  So the whole argument is retarded.

1 day, 23 hours ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially

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@PaoloP @Statuesque Me either, Paolo.  Centuries have gone by, at least in the US, and too many have blown it and continue to blow it.  It's running out, the smarter ones are realizing it and hence reacting the way they are out of panic, but most of them are too dumb or self-entitled to see it.

1 day, 23 hours ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially

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This is the most illogical thought pattern I have seen in a while. So...a successful woman seeks out a "soft" man for status? Last time I checked men were NOT marrying women because they don't have equally desirable options (like playing the field or focusing on their work). So what does this "soft" financially well off guy get from an "unattractive" Black woman that he couldn't get with an unattractive White woman or a trophy bride? If men don't get something out of marriage they don't do it. Period.

That smacks of typical Black male machismo, thinking a Black woman couldn't possibly be attracted to (or sexually satisfied by) anything but a Black man, and a White man isn't able to inspire those feelings within her.

Please...bye, now.

2 days ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially

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I've said it before, I'll keep saying it: Supportive, loyal, resourceful and resilient women are highly prized by intelligent men. If those men are ambitious and/or wealthy, they tend to seek highly educated and/or successful women too. Visionary investors are always looking for undervalued assets at a bargain, not overpriced assets they need to pay a premium for. They know how to spot the potential before the crowd catches on. Smart investors are always looking for under appreciated assets, and then proceed to put in the work or the expertise to turn that part of town no one wants to live in into the next "it" zip code. Or maybe they just fall in love with something valuable that no one else understands or appreciates...yet.

My answer to anyone who doesn't understand why quality Black women are being pursued and married by quality White men is to say that you are the same people once upon a time who couldn't understand why anyone would want to buy beachfront property in Malibu or the Keys, buy Apple in the 90s or Amazon in '01, stop eating processed foods or started raising chickens in 2005. These people never set the trend or snatch up the deal, they are always buying high and selling low.

I know exactly what certain non-Black men see in Black women, and they are pretty damned visionary. In 20 years it will not only be common, but typical of a "certain type of White guy" especially.

2 days, 1 hour ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially

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@International_Responder I completely agree with you.  Maintaining a friendship after having had a relationship is not for everyone, or for every ex.  Sometimes it only develops later when the emotional Sturm und Drang is over and you can just accept what happened, or didn't.  That's when most of the time you come to realize that the behavior you took personally, you shouldn't, because that is just who this person is and it has nothing to do with you.  I actually learned that from my mom.  She maintained friendships with a few of her exes and they are STILL friends to this day...after marriages, subsequent relationships, hurts, drama etc.  Sometimes, as Sbta said below, male fear of intimacy or commitment, basically trusting a woman with their lives (at the end of the day, that is what marriage is), is overwhelming, and they can't see beyond the fear until much later.  That doesn't mean you won't end up with the man who CAN figure it out.  She certainly did.


I will say that I don't have any exes-as-friend with whom I had to pretend that I was unaffected by the break up.  If they can't handle my emotions and take responsibility for their part in the whole deal, they aren't really friends I want to have in my life.  I discovered this truth only in the last two relationships I've had.  Both had the emotional fortitude and sense of personal responsibility to help me see that it is okay if I am not happy with everything they say and do, that they will not fall apart or run away like little boys if I call them out or need to process something I am feeling.  They called me out too, and I

took it.  One even said explicitly in one conversation "I am partially responsible for how you feel, so say whatever you need to say."  In his way, he showed me that he isn't going anywhere and that he values me as a person.  Men understand us sometimes more than we give them credit for, even if they don't express it in the ways we'd prefer. 


The flipside to dealing with a guy that has not offered you the level of commitment you want is that you can leverage that relative objectivity to your benefit.  This is not a recommendation to keep a jerk around, just to offer that real friendship is built over time with the people who just seem to never fall out of your life no matter what happens.

4 days, 21 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures

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@Sfbta LOL for me that is semantic.  Whether it finds me or I find it, it is available!

4 days, 21 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures

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Hi Leona - Being single myself, and maybe roughly in the same age group (I'm in my late 30s), I can relate to your dating woes and am always silently cheering you on during your periodic reports.


Driven and goal-oriented people always focus on winning, and who can credibly argue that most women are not socialized to focus on winning the marriage/perfect husband prize?  It may irk some to admit it, but it's the truth and it has nothing to do with how accomplished, attractive, fit, wealthy, educated or emotional healthy a woman might be.  That's why it feels like failure when you don't get there with a man you have developed feelings for.


The passage of time makes just about everything that was once important less so, especially when it comes to objects of affection. Both in the sense that we get older and can put more things in proper perspective, and whatever pain or sadness that was there fades.  This guy, whatever his shortcomings or virtues, however you feel about him now, will not stay top of mind with you if he is unable or unwilling to make your relationship and your feelings a priority.  You won't allow it, however you may be feeling now and whatever you may need to still work through in your lingering feelings for him.  I doubt we'll be talking about him at all a year from now, because he is making himself unimportant in your life.  His choice, not yours.  I think we can all see that he is doing you a favor in the long run.


I don't have a single ex that I consider as the one who got away, but I can't say any of them would say the same about me.  That's not my ego talking but I am saying that I was good for them, I did my best for them, and they know it.  They may have gone in search for someone else, they may not have been able to provide what I required even after trying, they may have offered what amounts to male BS "it's not you it's me" reasons for moving on, but I am not the one looking back wondering whether I made a mistake or didn't give enough.  And so when the next one comes along (and there is ALWAYS a next one), the "failure" is put in the proper perspective as the temporary experience (good, bad, indifferent) that got me to where I am today.  You experience with this guy and the guys before him will not determine your future with a guy you have yet to meet.  And so, how can they be failures?  If they had been "successful" maybe you would miss out on the one who is REALLY the one for you.  Life is over when you die.  Until then, what's coming is likely to be wonderful, and something you can't even conceive of until it arrives.  I truly believe it is a matter or time for some of us who have taken a bit longer than others to find the love that stays with you.

4 days, 23 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures

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@Oaktown Paul  @Statuesque Hear, hear!  Eating junk foods (vast majority of processed foods) is a learned behavior.  The "food" industry tries to make us believe that eating the sugar in a granola bar or Fruit Loops is the same as putting pure maple syrup on buckwheat pancakes, but it isn't.  I applaud you for seeing through the BS and steering your kids away from the poison (exactly what those foods are).


When Black women grew their own food and raised their own animals in the country, they weren't suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure at the same rates they are now.  Life was probably even more stressful, and people still ate cakes and drank Coca Cola.  But not every day, plus they were nourished with much better foods so their bodies didn't want or need Twinkies, and soda didn't have high fructose corn syrup in it. In many cases even the processed foods that were never a great idea to consume a lot of, just became disastrous due to the changes made to basic ingredients.  I've had to make my mom aware of this because the foods she has been buying all her life are simply not what they used to be, and are no longer safe to eat.


There is a big difference between the soul food diet as it was in the early 20th century and what it is now.

6 days, 18 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.

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My point was not that addiction isn't a real issue, it is to say that someone who is experiencing food cravings isn't an addict because they drink too much soda or eat cake. I think more care has to be taken with throwing that word around to describe a body out of whack. Having messed mind/body signals may be due to addiction but it may also be due to other causes, like a nutritional deficiency.

We'd never say a person who sleeps excessively is addicted to sleep. Sleeping is a natural biological function, just like the craving for food. Now: is the person's lifestyle part of the issue? Of course. Do they need to make different choices? Obviously. But are they an addict? That's where I think the language isn't helping to stay focused on and find the problems.

6 days, 21 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.

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Having had to watch family members contract Type 2 diabetes and die, and suffer strokes, amputations and face other terrible consequences, I can understand how heartbreaking it is to watch a person you love throw their lives away with both hands.  I am so sorry for your sister's condition and that she was unable to make the changes she needed to live a longer, healthier life.  Maybe it is not too late for your niece - unfortunately, sometimes the only way to get to people is when someone they really love and depend on is taken from them.


I have some controversial views on nutrition but no matter what foods people think of a healthy or unhealthy, having a bad relationship with food at any weight leads to problems.  The body is only asking for what it needs to function given the lifestyle you lead, even in the case of sugar cravings.  I think this food addiction perspective is damaging in itself because it implies that getting joy and satisfaction from food is a bad thing.  It isn't!  We were made to seek out foods that taste good and feel satisfied after eating.  That would be like feeling bad about wanting to sleep, or have sex, or cry.


These unhealthy relationships with food discussions sometimes focus too much on finding fault with enjoying food.  I think that's CRAZY.  No one would have feel shame about liking food if we spent more time trying to understand what nutrients the body might be missing and is asking for.  For example, the easiest way to get rid of sugar cravings is to eat more saturated fat and healthy carbs while substituting TYPES of sugar until the cravings diminish.  But the reasons why the body may want so many easy carbs could be due to other nutritional deficiencies and have nothing to do with you craving soda or cake, but everything to do with the body not having the right minerals, vitamins, etc to keep it in balance, and perhaps being under too much physical or emotional stress.

6 days, 21 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.

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@ole'skool I agree, and I think that is a good thing.  From the stats on divorce and OOW children with a Black father and non-White mother it appears that they need to do much better, but I keep hoping that if Black men become so happy with non-Black women they will see less of a need to make Black women miserable.  This is a futile hope but it's still there.  And, cynicism aside, everyone should be happy.

1 week, 1 day ago on Sad News. Jacque Reid Pulled Out if the IR Dating Challenge, and it’s All Over the New York Post

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@lisafree Sigh....dominant and recessive genes have nothing to do with genes being "better" or "worse," desirable or undesirable to have.  It depends on the environment...a huge hint as to why they evolved in the first place.


http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/inheritance/patterns/


1 week, 2 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@mzsunshine And there isn't even Italian gallantry to make that  "Madonna/whore" complex a little easier to take?  Miss me.  Please and thank you.

1 week, 4 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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"Let me ask a rhetorical question. When are enough black women going to put up deuces and refuse to be the punching bags and scapegoats of all the ills in the black community?"


I had to sit with this article in silence for a few minutes, because words failed me.  If anyone had a doubt about misogynoir being real, about its stranglehold on the psyche of the so-called Black Community, and its complete and utter failure to serve the interests of Black women, just read the article above.  


I am truly happy for anyone who has found a safe haven with an African American man, but I have seen enough in my lifetime, in the media and from people who should know better to believe that there is one for me.  That is not resignation talking, that's cold, hard pragmatism and self-preservation.  I made this choice years before I had "good" reasons; simply because I always had an open mind and attraction for men from many backgrounds ANYWAY.  They are on the No Reason To Go There list with beets, bunge jumping, and single engine airplanes, and I make no apologies and offer no disclaimers.


Just. Horrible.

1 week, 4 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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I can excuse multi-dimensional fictional characters (whether I like the show or not) but these reality shows are inexcusable.  They exist to paint a stereotypical, one-dimensional view of Black women who are presented as entertainment fodder and tell themselves that they are getting over because they are getting paid.


I can't stand Viola Davis's character on HTGAWM and I think the last season of Scandal was over the top, but Olivia is the hero, not the victim, or the sidekick.  No one can say that these two Black female characters are flat, predictable and destructive to the overall image of Black women.  What Shonda Rimes is doing simply hasn't been done before.  Can we say the same for the depiction of Black women on Bravo, BET and VH1?  These shows make me sick to my stomach because there is zero complication in the way these women are depicted.

1 week, 6 days ago on I’m Taking a Hard Line. Either You Are With Us, Or You Are Against Us.

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@Maxine @Cami2210 @Statuesque So with you ladies!  Keep the chemicals far away from me.  The sun is not the problem, but nutritional deficiency is.


Astaxathin is an anti-oxidant that offers even more protection against sun damage.  It's what makes salmon and flamingos pink.  I take it in capsule form for extra Omega 3s, internal sun screen, and because I don't eat fish regularly.

1 week, 6 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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Ugh she looks crazy. I don't even know which Braxton this is but she needs to take it down about 20 notches.

Okay one of these women is a nutcase who butchered her face but I do feel bad for Hollywood actresses who become desperate to keep a fresh face when genetics and time are working against them.

Jennifer Anniston is exceptionally well preserved. But any Black actress in her 40s is looking that young without really trying.

2 weeks ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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Meanwhile, Dolly's face in the post above is actually still recognizable as human. I loved me some Val Ewing back in Knots Landing days. Sad.

2 weeks ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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Mods could we please start an off-topic thread?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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Me too! He laid it all out there and I have seen nothing credible to refute it. I love the conversations he publishes with readers "kicking his butt" lol

2 weeks, 1 day ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@RealebogaReaSefako I think you are raising important points that all should consider as a part of the global community, much less all equally valued members of one human race.


Having said that, privilege is a double-edged sword, and it cuts every which way.  For example, many African, Latin and European women of African descent women who emigrate to the U.S. from their countries can experience the "exotic" effect that "regular Black" African Americans don't have when it comes to native non-Black men.  Many of these women are, if not already wealthy. privileged and educated, come from immigrant stock that does not have the jaundiced view of the U.S. that many natives have (and rightfully so on both sides), and are themselves privileged.  Should they feel bad about that?  Should they question why native-born American men might find them attractive?


Take any country on earth, especially one that has former colonies or some sort of client relationship with a short list of countries, and you will see that they treat people from those "client" countries differently than people from other countries. So I wouldn't expect an Ethiopian immigrant woman in Italy to be treated better than an African American one, and I certainly wouldn't expect a woman from Suriname to be treated worse than an Black woman from the Bronx in the United States (maybe a different story in the Netherlands, however).


So while you quite rightly point out that American women may be focused on, and perhaps taking advantage of, their national privilege in Europe, I hope you can see that this is all relative.  There are few people more privileged than Nigerians and Ghanaians in the U.S. - they tend to outperform native Whites and Blacks educationally, and are on on par with Asians.  South Asians are privileged in South Africa and of the slave caste in the Emirates.  Same people, different immigration stories and different perceptions formed of them by local natives.


I am the same person in all of the countries I have been to, but I get a completely different reaction based on what people know about my background in any given country.  All these women are saying is that, for once, it is NOT an automatic disadvantage to be a Black American, and for many, it is refreshing to realize that they can receive the tangible benefits of being American overseas that they perhaps cannot experience at home.  Taken a step further, it is perhaps the right step in a direction the rest of the world needs more Americans to take - to realize that you ARE privileged and to become more aware of that fact (and humble) when engaging the rest of the world.


Hope that helps to explain where some folks are coming from.

2 weeks, 1 day ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States

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Strengthening those 2nd and 3rd skin layers are really important for dark skin because melanin protects, but also masks skin issues that are below the surface.  We don't tend to wrinkle but we do lost elasticity, "fade," discolor and get stretch marks.  Doing something for collagen replacement is definitely a must!  This is the secret of many Japanese women...they eat gelatin and other collagen-building foods like crazy.


I don't use sunscreen personally because I try to get natural vitamin D (in addition to supplementing) but I do moisturize and exfoliate relentlessly and do a lot to strengthen and maintain skin health internally with diet and supplements.


What's funny about Viola Davis is that she looks better now that she did when she was younger.  I find a lot of darker skin women actually look their best when they are late 30s to 50.



2 weeks, 1 day ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@SavageTango And how prophetic that was. Haha and wink-wink! Share those lottery numbers anytime!!

2 weeks, 2 days ago on AAWG: Wow her with your Whiteness by Savage Tango

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@PaoloP. LOL did you ever get her to rough it without the campground? My idea of roughing it is a day hike to a fully loaded cabin or a tent in walking distance from the house.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on AAWG: Wow her with your Whiteness by Savage Tango

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@Ri74 I went with someone I trusted. He is daring but I knew he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to me. He had things under control and has been taught how to guide novice shooters. But I was still nervous! LOL the whole experience was probably nervewracking because I was at an outdoor range as well.

There is nothing like the sense of accomplishment you get from learning how to manage firearms. I would suggest taking a lesson from from an NRA-certified instructor. They know what they are doing and won't move too fast.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on AAWG: Wow her with your Whiteness by Savage Tango

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@BreannaNouveaux My French is abysmal.  At least you were around the languages...I was away from that too for most of my life and I really shouldn't even call myself a Haitian.  Mein Deutsch is aber sehr gut geworden! :)


No the year I planned to go (99% of the family is here, NYC, and Montreal) the earthquake happened.  Have you?



2 weeks, 4 days ago on Mia Love Elected for Congress!

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@dani-BBW Me too.  What Hispanics have done is a much smarter approach...focus on issues not supporting a party's platform.  Make the party change its platform to get your vote.  


No one party should count on your vote or think that you have no place to go.  But if the GOP wants to court the Black vote, it needs to revise its stance on a few issues and take up some others.  If the GOP is only interested in including Black conservatives who support the typical party line, there are plenty of Blacks in that category and they are extremely prominent in the party.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Mia Love Elected for Congress!

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See, Western dudes!!! I'm trying to tell y'all LOL.


"One of life’s greatest pleasures is witnessing the transformation from Statuesque yet demure damsel to pistol packin’ princess of the apocalypse"


I don't know how you wrote an autobiographical statement for a White guy you clearly can't be and don't know, but this is literally the truth.  I never paid attention to the guns my brother and uncles had and wasn't interested in shooting until I went out to the range in a not-to-be-revealed Western state.  He started me out with a .22 and I graduated to a .45, and he took pictures of it all.  I have stopped short of joining the NRA but that was some epic White guy stuff right there, plus everything else on your list except the Ren Faire.  And now I am officially a PPPOTA.





2 weeks, 4 days ago on AAWG: Wow her with your Whiteness by Savage Tango

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@BreannaNouveaux @Statuesque La moitié ! La bonne moitié...lol


I figured you might be too but you don't know for sure! Please please don't press my French and I am barely literate in kreyol too.  My dad is first generation and he refused to speak anything but English.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Mia Love Elected for Congress!

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@newSavannah2222 @simplylois @oceanspray @Statuesque Wasn't it one of the founders (don't know if it was Cleaver or Seal) who said "the only position for a Black woman in the Black Panther Party is prone."


This meme has infected the thinking of millions of Black men for a couple generations, and it was the language of Black power that grafted itself onto Black (male) victimization and revved up the patriarchal engine powered by female fuel.  It created a monster..

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?

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I successfully registered and subscribed but I have had to reset my password twice.  I think it might be because I registered/subscribed on my phone and then tried to log in on a laptop, but I don't know.  Maybe now that I checked "keep me logged in" on both it won't do that anymore.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanna test out the new Forum?

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Mia's conservative views are very much in line with her Haitian background, so I don't see anything revolutionary going on when it comes to how she thinks.  Being pro-life and pro-gun as a Haitian middle to upper class individual IS the norm, and in parts of the South it is as well for African Americans.  In my family the only difference between Mia Love and many of them is that she is a Republican.  They reject that party largely because the Republican party absorbed the White supremacist wing of the Democratic Party in the 60s/70s. Some of them are Republicans too though. 


Conservatives always maintain that they care more about how people think than what they look like. They LOVE individual minorities who share their beliefs, and welcome them because it counters the narrative that they are a bunch of racists.  



2 weeks, 5 days ago on Mia Love Elected for Congress!

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@onmywayup @Statuesque I agree with you.  Regardless of whether you embrace religion or reject it, this is just common sense and having respect for the beliefs of others (provided they don't infringe upon yours and vice versa).  


People with orthodox beliefs of any kind (including faith-based atheism) are intolerant of deviation from whatever universal norm they want to see in place.  Tons of religious people and Christians in particular are not orthodox and have a healthy perspective on their religion and the choices of others to follow, not follow or whatever.  That's the only way modern people of faith can reconcile adhering to religion when there are some very disturbing beliefs and tenets in the texts of ancient people, that, if followed to a "t," would be disastrous.  To me, that is exactly what humans have always done in order to live their lives in the real world.


I also don't understand how Christians with any basic knowledge of the evolution of their faith could come to a conclusion different than yours without having a crisis of faith.  Even Christian scholars with in depth knowledge of the texts know that it is a matter of interpretation and faith in what you believe is true.  The fact is that a lot of devout people do not have that basic knowledge.


Some of these comments have taken my breath away!  LOL

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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This woman is not refusing to take responsibility for her life and choices. That line of critique is overblown. The easy rhetorical cue to follow would be all of the "I" statements she used.

What she has to say about a common experience in Black churches regardless of the particular Christian doctrine into place is CULTURAL...it is a cultural critique. It is, IMO, also a woman-centered critique. Christianity is a patriarchal religion that absorbed concepts of the goddess and divine feminine to appeal to people who resisted conversion from the old ways. Many women reject the notion that they should be second class citizens or submit to male authority but if you are a Christian you have a harder case to make given what the book says and what traditional church doctrines are. It's very clear.

Many Christian women are using their power and faith to change their churches, but far too many are simply unable to move that mountain. Many Black Christian women were groomed/socialized/raised to simply accept these ideas and have no framework or support to challenge them.

I think this woman is brave and honest, and don't really care whether she leaves her religion or stays in it. Her experience is not isolated, the "white people do it too" line is tired, and the problem with Christianity is so often the Christians who practice it. Since that is true, her critique stands and is full of merit on that basis alone.

I for one and no longer willing to see a pristine religion that is "pure" apart from the flawed human channel that delivers it. Others can and will make different decisions and that is perfectly fine with me. It is for Christians to fix that internally because others may not be interested in splitting those hairs. But Christianity has never had a unified message and probably won't ever have one. There is too much cultural diversity in its followers, too much variation in its texts, too much disagreement among its religious authorities (much less followers) and no proof that one way is the only way.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@oceanspray @Statuesque I understand and can relate to what you've said, but I am not sure I agree that there was a bottleneck of outmarriage in the 80s that was put in place by NBABM thinking.  Black men have always married out at nearly twice the rate of Black women in the US, since colonial times.  Black women no longer have their pick of Black men who are viable for marriage, and now that their educational opportunities enable them to earn independently, they no longer have a pool of potential mates within the Black population that are up to par.  Personally I think that was traumatic and it absolutely led to many women trying to work with what they thought they had....for many reasons, but the generation who thought they'd have it all (because that's what they were told to go and get) discovered that they had more in common with the "old maids" of generations past, where women with too much education or too much independence were not suitable mates for the men who needed them to be subservient.  A lot of these women were raised on the Cosby Show and had no doubt that they would build their own Cosby families, and didn't appreciate that the world had changed until it was too late (or almost too late).  It's definitely sad for many.


Then there are the millions of Black teens who became parents and compressed the generations, partially responsible for the whole explosion of OOW births well into the 1990s.  Many Black Millenials are of this generation.


My point is that the clarity for many has come by navigating rapid changes in society, and after seeing the impact of a lot of social experiments in the 60s/70s...some good and some bad.  The first generation to be removed from that is Gen Y, so it's no surprise that this generation sees things a bit more clearly.  

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?

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@Lady A @newSavannah2222 These were the same Black people calling Michelle Obama ugly and too dark before she was embraced by the mainstream.  I remember how Black folks in particular talked about how Barack's wife wasn't as pretty as she should be when he came on the scene.  Now everyone talks about loving Michelle Obama and wanting a Michelle Obama.  Only in theory...the Michelle Obamas of the world are ignored by Black men unless they need something from them.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?

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@oceanspray The openness of Millenials comes from the choices made by their Baby Boomer or early Gen X parents to seek employment opportunities that were made available to them starting with the Greatest Generation, who were the first to integrate major US institutions as adults (like the military).  It was the choice of your parents to raise you in integrated neighborhoods, or that minimized the impact of racism on your psyches so that you could grow up less encumbered by these issues than generations past.  It's one thing to figure this stuff out when the country has removed most of the barriers for you, and quite another to move the ones that are in your way.  


Let's not turn this into a generational pissing contest.  Maybe I am rejecting that because I am straddling Gen X/Y and was not raised by my Baby Boomer parents to be NBABM.  I think this has more to do with being American than anything else. BW raised in Europe and parts of the Caribbean never had these issues (I can't speak for African women).

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?

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@ChocolateDiva I don't know that they believe it so much as they want Black women to believe in and uphold the myth.  That, or their definition of "good" is just off.  It is this constant dumbing down and lowering of standards so that now a "good" Black man is one that "takes care of his kids" and "has a job."  Um....what?


Then they can say to Black women that they are overlooking "good" Black men with straight faces. Otherwise they'd crack like Jimmy Fallon in an SNL skit.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?

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@BWC @SirLoinDeBeef But at least they did it in real-time and their ignorance wasn't disingenuous.  You just made the gods (and god eventually) behave in ways that conformed to your reality, and when reality changed often the gods did too!  I am not quite sure what modern people are doing with the retrofitting of ancient texts that were not written to apply to them in any way.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@BWC @Statuesque @MarthaLankford @caligirl94117 @pioneervalleywoman Honestly that makes more sense to me than other theories we've come up with as a species.  It's an interesting theory...the creator as an alien being who did put us here, but we have lacked the knowledge to describe it in anything other than mythical terms.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@MarthaLankford @BWC @caligirl94117 @pioneervalleywoman Yes there are.  I am one and my mother recently came out of that particular closet after a lifetime of pretending.  Luckily, she never forced me to believe anything and I made up my own mind...right around the time the married pastor with a daughter in my grade starting hitting on her...that there was something very wrong here that wasn't fixed by the moving music and devoutness of believers.  Over the years I have only learned more and more about religion that solidifies my abstinence.  I consider the divine quite apart from that, and don't presume to know what it is (only what it can't be based on observation and common sense).

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@BreannaNouveaux You might enjoy "Who Cooked the Last Supper?" by Rosalind Miles

2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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@Dani-BBW Sure, go ahead, I'd love to see what people think! :). LOL although the ladies are ablaze with your current post on foreign men.

3 weeks, 2 days ago on Leona’s Love Quest:  The ABC’s of Finding Love 

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@RhondaSpeights @Statuesque That Italian game is SOMETHING!!! You go girl lol

3 weeks, 4 days ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States

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@MariaAmuesi @Statuesque Aw don't give up.  My best friend is like that as well and her strategy is to find small, intimate groups of people to join and interact through doing something.  Maybe that approach would work for you too.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States

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@MariaAmuesi @Statuesque Okay but I was JUST talking to the bestie about going to Scotland and Ireland at some point.  I have been to England but didn't make it up by you.


What's your opinion of Scots?

3 weeks, 4 days ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States

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