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@Brenda55 @mzsunshine hehe, my point is as the only black female at my site I've noticed a lot of attention, something that would have gone over my head years ago before I found BBW.
It's been said on this site more times than I can count how black women are admired and desired but we miss the signs because either we've been conditioned to or the signs are so subtle especially with white men.
For so long in my younger years, I hated my lips and body because the white students in high school made fun of them. I remember a white girl asking why do black girls have such big butts...just like the scene in Sir Mix-a-lot's video. I recalled being so conscious of my hips in my bathing suit while working to get my lifeguard certification that I tried my darnest to hide behind the rest of participants.. I had internalized what the girl told me about having a big butt and it contributed to a poor body image. It wasn't until I got to college when I was admired for my physique. A white guy came and whispered in my ear "why do black girls have such nice asses?" My white roommates asked me what he whispered, they must have seen my startled look. It didn't want to tell them for fear of hurting thier feelings(not so sure they would have afforded me the same courtesy, if it was the other way around).
So, I was trying to convey that as black women, we are admired for our beauty and femininity even though you wouldn't think so with what Madison Avenue keeps showcasing.
As far as being a guy-magnet, I'm not so sure. My goal is to be a husband-magnet!
4 days, 13 hours ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women
Great article, and I believe it answers a question, I've been pondering lately. Why do many of the men I work with feel the need to touch me (wm). Let me explain. It isn't inappropriate, at least not to me. The guy in Registration department swats at me with a paper and jokingly tells me I'm slacking in my duties. Any chance he gets, he walks by my mobile computer and shuffle the papers smiling all the while he does. One paramedic the other day lightly grabbed my shoulders, and leaned into my to tell me something funny. The other paramedic playfully pokes me in the side and just smiles. Once when I was shivering from the air being so cold, the hot blue-eyed paramedic offered to get a blanket and drape it over my shoulder. I declined, but sensed he wanted to do the draping. Some may considered this inappropriate but they aren't saying anything salacious or lewd when touching me. I'm not getting any bad vibes from them just that they find a reason to come in contact with me during various times of the day. I also have observed that men can be more playful than women at times.
After reading this article, I've concluded it must be they're attracted to ALL the reasons listed that make me unique as a black woman. Yep, it's my final answer and I'm sticking with it.
4 days, 15 hours ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women
You look gorgeous. I love reds and pinks in lipsticks.
4 days, 16 hours ago on Mark Jacobs Knows Pink…with “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!”
Florida's water is considered "hard" water meaning it has a high mineral content. This leaves a build-up on surfaces including hair, hence I do a ACV rinse every two-three months. It feels soft and squeaky clean, I then apply coconut oil, Olive oil and a Shea Moisture product.
4 days, 16 hours ago on Home Made Detangler and Shine Enhancer…Apple Cider Vinegar!!
Well, I've been running/walking 5k at least three times weekly, and I didn't even realize I was running more than three miles until I got my Fitbit. My organization is doing a step challenge ( 10,000 steps a day) for the employees, so I've been motivated to keep active. I also am trying to manage my sugar intake, though not always successfully, to stay fit and healthy. As they say, you can't out exercise a poor diet.
It's good to know that crossword puzzles keep the brain "fit". At one time I did crosswords daily but for some reason fell off the wagon. Lol. Don't understand the psychology of quitting good habits and holding onto bad ones.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to being the best me in 2015 but there are definitely challenges ahead.
6 days, 13 hours ago on Four Ways to Be Your Best You
Great article and for me the best I've enjoyed thus far in 2015. I'm waaay past 40 (wink), so I too am looking for a man who will fit into a life I've already built.
@Public123... I agree wholeheartedly that a youthful nature is valuable and a trait I seek when vetting a man.
Black women's youthful looks are an advantage in the dating arena and we should exploit that privilege to our benefit.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Dating Men Over 40: What’s the Big Difference?
They say it NEVER rains in southern California....they didn't say anything about not snowing. Haha! Enjoy.
2 months ago on Crazy Snow Day in Southern California!
In all your dealings with people, don’t forget the importance of having boundaries, of vetting from the start and continuing to vet, and having healthy attachment styles.
Yes!!! Definitely, something to improve on in 2015.
2 months ago on The Discipline of Happiness – Being the BEST version of YOU
@EarthJeff well said, Jeff.
2 months ago on On Justifying Preferences, and Evolving Preferences…
@trinigirl1 I wait with bated breath since I enjoy most of your posts. They are quite enlightening.
2 months, 1 week ago on Watch Out for ‘Childmen’ With Pathological Entitlement Issues
@_Toni_ If I didn't wake all the dead with the laugh I let out just now after reading this, I must have woke at least half.
Oh, it was you who awakened me out of my sleep, I thought I was dreaming. (Smile).
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
2 months, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Christmas Wishes
Wow, I love the first pic of the ladies with the lovely red lips. All the women are gorgeous and dispel many ignorant beliefs of how African women should look.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Sir Loin’s Babe Wednesday: African Beauty Part 2, Of Queens and Crowns
Very nice story.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Christine and Masa – East Meets West
Wow, pretty in pink. And those lashes make your eyes pop!
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Like What I’m Wearing? Get It for $5 on Hautelook Before Saturday!
@ChristieRJohnson congrats, that is no small feat.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Breaking the Bank? Three Personal Finance Tips to Get You Prepared for the New Year
@Leille ! Take their hand when getting out of a car (or rollercoaster :-p)! Let him help you!
Well said. Just the other day at work, I was literally on my hands and knees looking for the reset button on my WOW ( workstation on wheels). An amused male nurse asked what I was doing and then assisted me in locating the very visible reset button right in front of me. He then offered his hand to help me up to my feet. I thought it was one of the most gentlemanly gestures I've seen in a long long time. I took his hand and said thank you. I don't think any of my other male coworkers would have made such an offer.
I LOVE it when men display gentlemanly manners.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on The One Thing that Motivates *Manly* Men…
I love ruby woo, I get plenty of compliments. I loved to see a pic of your outfit and makeup.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on The Psychology of Red Lips that Make the Guys Go “Meow”
@Statuesque Some (Black) commenters have also shrugged their shoulders because most of the women have been White and seem to deny the allegations on that basis alone,
The family was talking about the Bill Cosby allegations and my brother n law believes that because the accusers are white women they are not credible. His logic just baffles me.
3 months ago on The Official Bill Cosby (Alleged) Rape/Rant Thread…
I had to learn the hard way that Black Hair Care companies don't necessarily care about black people and their hair. The Black Hair Care companies are a business and making money is their number one goal. If using a model sporting 3a,b,c hair sells more product than who does that reflect on? The consumers or the companies?
I use to use a particular black hair product to get my hair bone straight and use this same company's product to dye my hair honey blonde (I wanted the Mary J Blogs look). Two hair stylists from different regions of the country berated me for using their products saying the product was terrible for black hair! They actually directed me to hair products perceived to be for "white women". So just because it's a black hair care company doesn't mean they will embrace what you embrace regarding the natural hair movement.
3 months ago on On Selling the Dream of “Good Hair” to Naturalistas…
I love the purple/violets hues. You look gorgeous and I love the contrast of the purple against your yellow shirt.
3 months ago on Day Four of Urban Decay’s Vice 3 Palette: “Purple Reigns”
3 months ago on Winner of the “Happy Couple” Contest…Jim & Annette!
@EarthJeff @mzsunshine I missed it too, to think there was a charity to help me find a man.
3 months ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
@kennaGransberg I'm with you on not forking out $60. I usually buy a drug store version such as Wet N Wild. Walgreen sells smaller palettes of eyeshadow for one dollar. I just bought an eight eyeshadow palette of blues. I already have a palette of purple/violets from Avon. I plan to experiment with those colors to try and get the same beautiful effect that Christelyn is showcasing. I used a palette of greens from Wet N Wild and it lasted all day.
3 months ago on Day Two of the Vice 3 Palette: “New Mexico Sunset”
I'm loving these posts on make-up. Christelyn, you're making me rethink my ban on fake eyelashes. Still debating.......anyway as always you look stunning.
3 months, 1 week ago on Day Two of the Vice 3 Palette: “New Mexico Sunset”
@jazzyfae45 Isn't the whole point of marriage is to STAY married in the first place????
3 months, 1 week ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
Help a Hoe charity.. LOL
Congrats, Matthew on your 180 degree turn to a healthy lifestyle.
3 months, 1 week ago on Matthew’s Weight Loss Journey: “I Was Living a Lie…”
I really the " less is more" look. Christelyn, your face is flawless.
3 months, 1 week ago on Creamy, Smooth, Holiday-Photo-Ready Skin and Make Up!
I like #1. Being able to accept failure as part of the process. I have to admit I'm not looking forward to spending the holidays as a single woman again. It's hard not to be envious of those who are fortunate to have found love.
Leona, are such a brave woman. Thanks for sharing such intimate moments in your quest for love.
3 months, 1 week ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures
Christelyn, I feel for you AND my prayers are with you. I have a twenty four year old daughter who too, is 150 pounds over weight. Her primary doctor has suggested she lose weight before the chronic diseases related to obesity take hold but to no avail. I realize that the eating is a symptom of something deeper.....I just don't know what.
3 months, 1 week ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.
@MizzCinderella I am an emotional over eater and have a food addiction that many people cannot understand.
Many of us understand, because we are still struggling with the addiction. Two coworkers noticed the Excel spreadsheet on my computer chronicling my calorie intake for the day and asked me about it. I told them I record my calories to help me lose and maintain my weight. I could tell by expression on their faces and the awkward silence they didn't understand, and one is obese herself. I've resigned myself to the fact my food addiction will be a lifetime time struggle.
@Cami2210 @mzsunshine I agree that the inner city culture encourage girls to fight.
It brings to a time my female cousin in Detroit pointed to girl we saw afar off and told me how she was jumped by a group of girls just because she thought she was "cute". The culture deemed it acceptable for this girl to be assaulted just because others were jealous of her...and my cousin co-signed this behavior by the way she presented the victim as someone who needed to be put in her place.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@Cami2210 @mzsunshine We understood the aggressiveness was the result of coming from a violent home but non-black females come from abused homes as well yet this hyper-aggressiveness is not observed among them, at least not more so than the males.
@ole'skool I had never seen anything like this prior to working in those settings.
Me too. That's why I brought it to the attention of the seasoned educators, and they had no explanation at that time.
When I was attending middle school, the boys were the aggressors or bullies. It was the boys you gave wide berth to in regards to avoiding violence.
I remember working in the public school system,and each school professional had to do lunch monitoring on a rotation. I was totally aghast at the aggressiveness of the black females and this was middle school!
They were more aggressive than males, and the vile that spewed from their mouths would rival a sailor' s. The black educators and supporting staff would sometimes quietly and secretly talks among ourselves about this phenomenon. Seasoned educators were baffled as to the reason why the black girls were so angry and aggressive. We knew many of these girls came from abused homes, but so did many of the boys. It was quite sad because I believed the hyper-aggressiveness was reaction to feeling helpless in other areas of their lives.
She told me after she had prayed; she knew the magic she was looking for was right in front of her if she just opened her eye.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Jim’s Story: He Was Never Going to Be Her ‘IBM,’ But…
@MariaAm same here
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Open Forum: What’s the deal McNeil?
@zipporah @mzsunshine absolutely! The correct interpretation of the Bible requires BOTH men and women to refrain from having sex before marriage.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.
@mlank64 @mzsunshine Yeah...he's looking for a pure girl so he can cheat on her later.
Exactly! And when the young lady seeks counsel in the church about her wayward louse of a husband, that same pastor or deacon will tell her to "stay and pray".
I've heard similar misogynist views before in a traditional black church I attended during my freshman year in college. The pastor or deacon was admonishing the young ladies to keep "pure" (no sex) because when a man is looking for a wife he isn't going to the bar to find her but the church.
Interpretation: When a man is finished sowing his oats and ready to settle down, you best be a virgin so you will be the lucky one to be chosen as his wife!
I did put up deuces and left that congregation.
@_Toni_ That was very creepy and wrong. :/
3 months, 2 weeks ago on So…I Got Accosted In Cancun…
Glad to have you back. The. Dish looks. Delicious!
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Chef Bob: Individual Beef Wellingtons
3 months, 2 weeks ago on SirLoins’s Babe Wednesday: Mention the unmentionables
How I hate reality shows of any kind.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on I’m Taking a Hard Line. Either You Are With Us, Or You Are Against Us.
Great advice Chris and I'm so thankful for sites like these. It's evident many of our young black women need encouragement about their desirability. We all need encouragement in some areas of our lives. The letter writer needs to stay away from toxic sites and people. As already stated visit the many BWE sites available.
3 months, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: “How Do I Stop Believing I’m Undesirable?”
@inori @PamelaFoster @LadyHumor @ole'skool Wow, so this "ageing well" is universal!
3 months, 3 weeks ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’
@thecrazyartist I noticed drinking heavily undo many black women as well.