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@lili2009 His "friends" were actually jealous of him. I have seen this play out time and again. They were jealous and mad that he had the nerve and courage to be MAN--not just a white man. Men find women attractive and will let her know it. They would have no problem if you were blond, Asian, or latin. This guy dared leave the white box and was ridiculed for it.
2 months ago on Zara: Asian Men, Black Women…So Undesirable, We Don’t Even Want Each Other
@trinigirl1 You are right. To be honest, this was practiced everywhere. It's just not as well known as it is in the southern United States but it happened all over the states and abroad (Europe, North America and Africa). I recently happened upon some history of my great grand father and he looks just like a white guy. He was listed on the census as mulatto. His dad (my great great grandfather) was listed as mulatto as well. I can only imagine how he looked.
2 months ago on Octavia Spencer to Star in Biopic of Mary Seacole
@your epiphany You are 100% right. The professor's words are carefully chosen (dog whistling) so the intended audience receives his message. Notice how the commentors are even more base than the prof. Once again the privileged are exercising their ability to make everything about them. Everything is seen through their shortsighted lens. We can't just exist, we have to be the "black" this or that, denoting it is out of the norm and shouldn't be. My mother (now deceased) used to talk about how white women would go to the black neighborhoods back in the 20s, 30s, and 40s to see newborn children. They were checking to see if the children looked white so they could chide/rebuke their husbands. That was crazy because it would be too late anyway if their husband did cheat on them with a "negro" woman. I guess it was a matter of keeping black women in their place and to show they had someone they could make feel less than. It is well known that white man in that era and before had a black and white family.
Last year the Guardian wrote a scathing article on Mary Seacole http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2712683/Mary-Seacole-saint-Florence-Nightingake-smeared-twisting-history.html I can only imagine they will up the rhetoric when the movie comes out.
@LandonCook Yes and have reaped the benefits along with their white men. They are the biggest recipients of Affirmative Action and still get to play "I am a victim of the white man" card!
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Here’s How Black Christians Trivialize Everything From Mass Incarceration to Unemployment
@CoryWeston101 Says the person with such a great rebuttal.....geez
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Sleepy Hollow is on the Verge of Cancellation. What Happened?
Last season the SH writers had a winning formula in Abbie & Crane being front and center. Once again, TPTB started focusing on a vocal minority of "I hate a beautiful black women with charisma being a lead character that happens to be opposite an equally gorgeous white dude" crowd. Those of you that are soap watchers saw the same thing happen with Kristolyn Lloyd on the Bold and Beautiful. There were some really nasty comments written about her being the love interest of a handsome "Forrester". The soap boards were ablaze with catty and bitter white women that couldn't fathom a rich white guy falling for a dark skin once homeless black woman. She was relegated to once a month then disappeared altogether. Oh the drama.....
@Blanc2 Trying to pick myself up off the floor..."Mighty whitey"
2 months, 4 weeks ago on ‘Black or White’: New Film Tackles White Grandparents Raising Biracial Grandchildren
@Oyin92 Right. I have been so disgusted with the Nollywood/Ghallywood female actors. My favorites seem to be getting lighter or is it the camera i.e. Genevieve Nnaji, Mercy Johnson, Ini Edo, Jackie Appiah. What do you think?
4 months, 2 weeks ago on Are African Women More Desperate to Look White Than Black American Women?!
@Selmix So true! Women must be empowered at all costs.
4 months, 2 weeks ago on Objectifying Our Girls…Thank the Gods Malia Has Body Guards.
What a low bred piece of trash, Donner that is. As soon as we leave our mother's womb we become prey for the world. I hate hate hate that black men lead the pack in degrading, objectifying, and diminishing our image. They may have had little power during slavery days but they dang sure have the wherewithal to change how they treat us now. I have said it before and will say again that I have a real problem with older men and their creepy obsession with young girls and women. Men you do not own girls/women. You do not have the right to our bodies, our money, our time.
@Deanna125 @Lady A Sick piece of crap...that is one reason why I detest older men--sorry older men. I have always associated older men with perversion. Before the PC brigade gets here, I know all men have a perversion tendency but something about an older man lusting at little girls and teens boils my blood. What is it with men and young girls/women....
4 months, 2 weeks ago on Resignation of GOP Staffer Proves What Happens When Black Womanhood is Protected
@coco78728 Exactly, and that is half of the natural hair care youtubers out there. Sad to say some have sold out big time....no names ;;)
4 months, 2 weeks ago on On Selling the Dream of “Good Hair” to Naturalistas…
@alecsilva ...and anyone that denies that is in DENIAL!!
@coco78728 Jouelzy is the truth! Many people don't liker her direct in your face approach (which I happen to like) but there is no mistaking how she feels.
@Caramelqueen I am wondering as well. How in the world could someone despise a first lady? Even though I didn't agree with the politics of previous presidents there is no way in the world I despised them....black women better wake up and smell the shea butter :))--something smells rank.
@SweetGardenia I can only imagine what she went through and people in my parents era. My dad was in the Korean war and they used to call them the N word while over there yet the US government drafted them as citizens--yet they were not. They would make them eat last after all the white soldiers ate but they were "upstanding Christians" fighting the "gooks". This mindset is still prevalent. Good on your mom for living without bitterness in her heart. It can be a difficult thing but when you realize they are sad sick people you can't help but be grateful you are not that way.
@SweetGardenia I wouldn't go to any...they really make you question if some people were just spawned through some sort of demon hell hole instead of being born of another human being! I had to stop reading them because I can't do crazy :)
@SweetGardenia Don't I know it. As a fellow Christian I am thoroughly disgusted by this "I am a white protestant therefore I am right and superior" crowd. They never see the blatant hypocrisy in their own practices.
@SweetGardenia All of this!! I have to give the side eye myself to some of these so-called Christians that are more hate filled than the Aryan nation <--maybe they are a part of it. Go to any christian website and you will see the vitriol spewed towards the president and black people.
@CleopatrasCousin Spot on! Divide and conquer has always been a successful strategy. The question is when will the divided people wake up and see that??
@Leille You betta' preach this morning. I just had one "older" plain jane this week give me a look. I looked back at her and of course she gives me a plastic smile. Had to laugh because I know she knows I understood her look of jealousy and contempt for not fitting their narrative of an unattractive, unkempt black woman!
@jazzyfae45 Sometimes I have to shake my head. Far too many other brothers make questionable aka shady comments and expect them to fly. Any black woman worth her shapely derrière will correct these "allies" in a heartbeat. They need to tread lightly.
4 months, 3 weeks ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
@Ri74 And the truth shall be revealed.....
@stephanie88 @jazzyfae45 @ToriSpeaks007 @BeautyIAM Sad to say, it goes back to societal perception of black women's "unworthiness". Even amongst many IR daters/marriages there is still a notion of white is best. When black women decide to lead a fulfilling life, all people have a problem with it. Almost as if they feel she doesn't deserve it and is uppity....we know what that translates into. Not everybody in a IR is for it. Can't count the amount of times I have heard guys talking about their wife's ethnic group (asian/hispanic/black) like they were the scum of the earth yet they found their wife and only their wife to be a special unicorn from that group.
Very pretty! Still can't think of a color that does not look good on our skin...I would like to see you in some dark blue/indigo'ish eyeshadow.
4 months, 3 weeks ago on Day One of the Vice 3 Palette: Get the Look, “Pinky Purple”
@Keioni Never truer words spoken....I have noticed a sense of white male privilege from posters concerning topics of marriageability. They need to pump their brakes because black women are the ultimate catch. We don't have to jump through hoops to "qualify and catch a man". The man has to bring his best as well.
I can so relate to this. I have one sister in particular that will get fighting mad when you mention obesity or unhealthy eating habits. She is overweight, bitter, nasty, and very backwards in her thinking. It is a vicious cycle because black women historically have not had the benefit of ANYONE to care for and love them as they do. This lack of emotional, spiritual, financial support has led some to control the only thing that can be controlled in their life--FOOD. Since black women are the primary cooks at home, this becomes their one controllable domain. When you have uncontested domain over something, chances are you will abuse it. We have to draw strength from like-minded forward thinking black women that have succeeded in taking charge of their life. The love that we are able to give ourselves translates into a healthier person that is then able to give love to others and not have a wolf in sheep's clothing rob you of life.
The only thing you can do @Christelyn is continue showing unconditional love in this last stage of her life. It is hard to tell a love one that their habits are destructive and killing them. It is harder for them to hear this because in their heart of hearts they already know it's true but it's too difficult to deal with. The niece will have to undergo therapeutic counseling. Some black women just feel they are not worthy of love or a good life. This is why forums like this are vital to reach those that are stuck for whatever reason. I think we can all agree we have had issue or barrier to overcome. Some people are born fighters and some people have to be taught. It doesn't matter how it comes--as long as we fight! Keep up the fight my sister....
5 months ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.
@LadyHumor @ole'skool I am hearing more and more black women in the US declaring they are Vit D deficient so I originally thought they were not getting enough sun. Some women shy away from the sun but I love it. A good 30 minutes walking gives me a daily dose and keeps the candy bars off my hips :)
5 months, 1 week ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’
This very thing is why my sister dates only younger guys. She is very perky and always seems to draw guys in their 30s. She just turned 54 this year. I on the other hand seem to draw older guys but prefer them younger.
@trinigirl1 Wow!! Bet the men all pause...
@LadyHumor @ole'skool I would be curious to see how our sisters in Africa fare. Maybe we are missing all that sun from the motherland??
@darkandlovely @caligirl94117 You are absolutely right. In their eyes they think they are okay because they haven't ran into that deranged stalker that will control any woman regardless of size. These type of psychotic men don't care what size, shape, height, socio economic background, religion etc. As long as it is a woman....they are ready and willing to act a fool.
5 months, 2 weeks ago on So…Street Harassment is Important Now That White Women Are the Focus?
@caligirl94117 Yes I remember the days of junior high boys grabbing your butt then these junior about-to-be-rapists acting mad when you said to stop it. I don't know what it is that makes boys/men think they own everything including a girl/woman's body. I know a lot of it has to do with a patriarchal society but some of it is dominating a weaker (physical sense) person. This is why I feel women should be allowed to open carry in every state and country. I don't trust any man that is aggressively sexual towards women.
@caligirl94117 You touched on something here -> I wouldn't be surprised if, in addition to other issues, the obesity epidemic in our community's women isn't a subconscious protection mechanism. I figured out that i gained weight in order to disappear and stop feeling unsafe. It made the unwanted attention stop.
You don't know how many black women I have encountered that have told me being overweight makes them safe. Safe from jealous women (of all colors) and predatory men. They said women treat them better because they are no longer a threat (in their eyes) and don't have to worry about them as competition. The men for the most part ignore them. They would then look at me and say they felt sorry for me being attractive and slim. Go figure....that is the work of decades if not centuries worth of dysfunction.
@trinigirl1 @TeeVee I think you are right. From the time they set eyes on me, they placed a roving bulls eye on my back.
5 months, 3 weeks ago on My Strong Is <em>Not</em> Your Strong, My Swirl Is <em>Not</em> Your Swirl: On White Women Entitlement Issues And Epic Cockblocking
@Neil Marsden @jazzyfae45 Thx, I retired 5 years ago but sometimes it seems like I am still in :)
@stephanie88 @jazzyfae45 I told them it was too much for me to carry and one of the complainers actually started going with me for pickup and hence became a nuisance as well. What fun............
@TeeVee Yes lady! They showed out over there. I couldn't believe even in war time they were showing their entitled behinds. They didn't care that using up all of the water put all the other soldiers in a bind. No water to drink, wash hands or flush the toilet in 120 degree weather. Shows you how WP is a type of mental illness.
These same women, as soon as they met me told me that they were going to have to fix me up with a boyfriend fast. Really? Who does that in a war zone? Who is thinking about a boyfriend? Now I know they were doing it because they didn't want any of the guys they were calling dibs on to see me as a cute single, unattached, fit black woman.
@TheBlkQAmidala @jesslabellefleur @caligirl94117 @SweetGardenia Wow, they should have went back to school themselves....I have found in my time in the church and having traveled extensively--many non black "Christians" in the church can be the most racist, which is sin in itself. I hate to admit it but its true.
Loved how @jazzyfae45 defined white privilege (WP). I had several episodes when I was deployed to Iraq several years ago. I was the transportation, building custodian, vehicle (and everything else) officer. I was constantly hit in the face with WP. We did our physical training as a group and would go back to our quarters to shower. That didn't work for these white women that were in my squadron. They wanted to take a shower at work and change there. God forbid they would have to take their entitled behinds two miles in a truck back to their quarters. The water was rationed because of the heat and location. When they took showers, that emptied the whole building of water. Think about the heat and no way to flush a toilet....When I told them the situation they turned up their nose, pouted and told me I needed to call civil engineering to have the tanks filled again. Can we say selfish, "it's all about me whenever however I want it". They even told the 3 star general I worked for that I wasn't doing my job.
I was also in charge of getting the 3stars breakfast. I did a weekly run stocking up on cereal, milk etc. The other people in the office (white guys) suggested I get enough food for everybody since they liked cereal as well and they didn't always get a chance to eat breakfast. Mind you the dining facility was open to all 24/7. When I told them I was just getting food for the commander they again ran to the commander and said I needed to be counseled. Pretty much they wanted me as a field slave running around like Kizzie, Aunt Jemima, and Mammy rolled into one. It was a challenge but I learned privilege deadens empathy and acts like a tornado destroying all in its path.
@darkandlovely @Sfbta And there goes the power of privilege...have been told it's a heck of a drug and those that partake of it are rendered selfish :)
5 months, 3 weeks ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@Keioni ""Why do some want to force black women to hold on to this mythical super
human strength when some of us are trying to distance ourselves from it.
I am starting to think that those that are trying to push us to
identify with it are doing so because they gain something from it." <--
Bingo! Now we get to the crux of the matter. Everybody benefits from labeling and pigeonholing black women: entitled white women/white men, and color struck damaged black men. Guess who comes out on the losing end as usual????
@jazzyfae45 @SavageTango I totally agree. Sometimes social media can be a double-edged sword. It is awesome in that it helps to bridge the cultural divide that exists. However, it can be undermine true face to face interactions and developing true relationships. Some people read a couple threads on sites, watch "buffoonish" reality tv/biased news, and look at watch mind numbing talk shows then make an assessment on what it is to be black: male or female.
@MsB73 Perfect song...the good old days when people actually "sang"
5 months, 4 weeks ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@Kimduo37 It's mind boggling but that is how privilege works. Everyone else has privilege: white men, white women, black men. Now it's time for black women to create our own privilege: the privilege to date who we want, to marry who we want, to become as financially successful as we desire, to live in the best communities... This is what I want for all black women. I am so over everybody turning their nose down at black women. Don't they know we are the first original woman :)) They can try and duplicate but it will never be authenticated!
6 months, 1 week ago on From a Black Man’s Mouth: About All That Hate…
@marie_christine2 I remember those days. In the military interracial dating and marriage is nothing....unless you are a black woman. Can't count how many "brothas" had white, Asian, Hispanic wives that snubbed me when they saw a white guy talking, laughing, or showing interest in me. A great majority of black men went buck wild in Germany trying to hook up with a German woman but a sister dating a German man was almost burned at the stake!!
6 months, 2 weeks ago on From a Black Man’s Mouth: About All That Hate…
Thank you for addressing this. There is a long history of black men with mental/physical disability and police brutality. When you combine male, black skin, and a slow reaction time--you have a recipe for disaster. I have a nephew that has a sever speech problem caused by a botch surgery. His vocal cords do not produce legible sounds. He was teased mercifully growing up and has virtually morphed into a hunchback that doesn't talk. I too fear the day he has the courage to go out and about and is confronted by cops just for his look and size.
I think it is a combination of corrupt absolute power, skewed race relations, a warped sense of hierarchy and privilege at work. Many people don't like to admit that black skin means guilty until proven innocent in far too many parts of the world. It's not a regional thing or a red state problem. It is a people problem.
6 months, 2 weeks ago on Ferguson, MO Reminds Parents With Black Autistic Young Men of Their Worst Nightmare
@Kimduo37 Awesome--another Sleepy Hollow fan. I am laughing at the Katrina'stans. Everybody knows there is zero chemistry between Katrina and Ichabod. As soon as certain women saw how cute and in shape Nicole was they went in. By episode 2 they were saying she was a horrible actor and that Lyndie Greenwood should take her place. Major shade that meant Nicole and Tom looked hot together and he looks to have a crush on her by looking at their off screen videos.
6 months, 2 weeks ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
@Keioni 100% agree! These sentences--"Men who are interested approach. It is that simple. People keep saying men are simple but based on all the clues and hints they appear to need that clearly is not true".
6 months, 2 weeks ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…