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So for many years my mom has collected Regency Romance novels as a continuation of her love for Jane Austen's literature and I freely admit that I've enjoyed several from time to time, okay often and repeatedly... The Christmas tree book stacks that she could make out of those thousands (yes, THOUSANDS) of Regency books would be a display worth charging for admission  And all the covers are fairly tame, by Regency standards, ankles are all covered, bosoms heaving elegantly. Mmmmm, 50 Shades of Earl Grey...

1 year, 9 months ago on Book Christmas Tree

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The More You Know <do do do dooo>

(ps - your sponsored content seems to be bleeding down into your blog text, tho that may be just me...)

1 year, 9 months ago on Pinteste Round-up: Education

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@chickieD Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

1 year, 9 months ago on DIY Candy Serving Tray

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Excellent wreath! Not gluing that plant shit in there will mean you can use the twiggy base again by just pulling all the crumbly brown bits off later - you are now crafty and economical ^_^

1 year, 9 months ago on Boxwood Wreath

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I've spent too many agonizing hours in the dentist's "chair-of-I-need-another-yacht" to go anywhere near caramel, despite its delicious siren song. 

1 year, 9 months ago on Salted Microwave Caramel

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I enjoy submitting their phone numbers and email/home/work addresses to spammers. Share the love.

1 year, 10 months ago on Getting Even

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@JonShepherd Scrambled eggs only take two minutes in a PAN! Does this lady not own cookware other than mugs?!?

1 year, 10 months ago on Instant Mug Mac & Cheese

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I'm curious (and worried) to see what new website advertising results from the words 'Paula Deen', 'cornhole' and 'butter-lubricated' combined in the same blog post...

1 year, 10 months ago on Corn Casserole

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The grown-out highlights make the original model look like she has a silky Tribble nesting on her head. 

I'm also concerned about this hair-do's long term structural integrity for wedding-based activity levels, a girl needs to cut loose on the dance floor on her big day!

1 year, 10 months ago on Modern Bun

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In our house, sulfur farts happen AFTER consuming quantities of deliciously deviled eggs, just sayin'. 

<<<  www.deviledeggs.com  >>> This website is the source of all that is good in deviled-egg-construction-techniques (pre-Pinterest!). Don't worry about trying to include all the extra tips at once, just gradually add some of the tips each time you make deviled eggs. They might seem extra picky for a simple recipe, but each little tip noticeably helps. Man, now I really need some of these...

Also, store-bought pre-boiled pre-peeled eggs just blew my mind  O_o

1 year, 10 months ago on Pumpkin Deviled Eggs

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"and lo, it was pretty damn good" - alternate blog tagline for when the word FUCK is not appropriate.

As a sometimes-existential-drunk myself,  I enjoy gazing in the mirror and trying to figure out how I'm a conscious being, shortly followed by explorations of existing as an unconscious being.

1 year, 10 months ago on Candy Apple Cocktail

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yes, but can it paint the nails on my right hand for me? no? balls.

1 year, 10 months ago on Cooking Spray Manicure Setter

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I've made a similar delicious concoction called Dump Cake (and I snicker EVERY time I say it). It's just a yellow cake mix and a can of crushed pineapple - this link gets all fancy-schmancy with extra canned cherries and pecans: www.duncanhines.com/recipes/cakes/dh/dump-cake

1 year, 10 months ago on 2 Ingredient Apple Pie Cake

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@michellynn11 I'm a Landscape Architect working with civil engineers - laughing at craft fuckups during work keeps me sane ^_~

1 year, 10 months ago on Homemade Facial Chemical Peels

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-- Ground Control to Major Pintester, Operational guidelines as follows: add moist stuff in small amounts to dry granular stuff until sufficiently moist and granular for exfoliating smearage to avoid drippage (these are very precise, technical instructions here, no deviations accepted regardless of capsule-banging crew issues). Chemical reaction not guaranteed. Do a Science! End transmission ---

1 year, 10 months ago on Homemade Facial Chemical Peels

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 "I had really bad gas. That is my actual excuse."  I really, really needed these good laughs tonight - too much election day tension has now been released, not unlike your terrible gas pressures, I hope. Carry on! 

(Approved by Pintester/Pintestee 2016)

1 year, 10 months ago on Novels, Gas, and Potty Talk

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So there's an ad over there -----> for a "squatty potty", distracting me from being appropriately snarky about the original crappy quote above. I see our rampant potty humor here has been recognized by the advertising gods. Also, I'm feeling very pessimistic over the squatty potty's "spray" potential and now have to get those images out of my brain.

1 year, 10 months ago on Coincidence, Fate, and Pessimism

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I like that you're wearing a shirt inspired by the kid in the picture, that's the attention to detail we really look for on this blog. Your face is all pink again so you must be flushed with success, naughty humor and a tasty adult beverage - well done!

1 year, 10 months ago on Ivory Soap Clouds

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Step One: draw a dick on a plate; Step Two: hide the plate in a pile; Step Three...um, profit!!

1 year, 11 months ago on Eyes in the Bushes

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Life is like your elementary school playground that your family and friends helped build and you enjoyed for many years and then you return years later to see they've replaced it with a shiny plastic genero-scape. Memories are cool but shit changes when you're not looking.

1 year, 11 months ago on Life

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@Pintester @Hillkat83 Sounds like another Pin that needs to be tested!

1 year, 11 months ago on Witch Finger Cookies

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"And I think even when <cookies> begin in that horrible situation of <bake>, that it is something god intended to happen." - Richard ' Dick More-dick' Mourdock

1 year, 11 months ago on Witch Finger Cookies

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This is not a fail, you just made Fat-Ass Witch Fingers (patent pending, patent pending), she obviously had been stealing all the kids' candy. Glad you avoided the fake blood detail around the 'nails' that I've seen on other versions, that would just look like an unpleasant medical condition. Glad they were still tasty, and not a moist, limp mess ^_~

1 year, 11 months ago on Witch Finger Cookies

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I'm still WAY to pleased with myself for the Unicow dingleberry creation... ^_~ 

1 year, 11 months ago on Pinteste Round-up: Unicows

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You really are Bridget Jones ^_^ But it's better to try and fail than to not try at all, right? right? O.o  My first thought with the "Orange Hot Chocolate" pin title was hot chocolate + triple sec = tasty BOO-ze

1 year, 11 months ago on Orange Hot Chocolate

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Also, love the "visions of an emergency room trip without a bra on" - tmi but we've all had that horrifying thought, right? ^_~

1 year, 11 months ago on Jello Worms

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I haven't bothered to read the original Pin that you've tested, but would it possibly have less failness with one of those massive bubble-tea straws? Of course it would probably look even less like a worm and more like farmyard entrails. Nothing says welcome to my home for Halloween like animal inner-nasty-bits.

1 year, 11 months ago on Jello Worms

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@Mommybailey I see what you did there... My suggestion in this case starts with a "d" and ends in an "og".

1 year, 11 months ago on Jello Worms

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also, I need to be in a "pay this lady lots of money for things she likes to do" binder, who's with me?

1 year, 11 months ago on Dripping Blood Manicure

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this post is sadly lacking in an action shot of the Pintester holding up these (apple) jacked up teeth in front of her mouth!  (thanx to @Libraryofbird also ^_^)

1 year, 11 months ago on Apple Smiles

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I have no patience for doing my own nails - the left hand ends up looking okay and the right hand is a blobby mess. Congrats on your intentionally bloody mess ^_^

1 year, 11 months ago on Dripping Blood Manicure

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advil and a chance to sit down - today I'm less crampy and I'll be at my desk all day...hmm, maybe I should be more creative

1 year, 11 months ago on What If

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If you poked the "brain" a bit it would probably "hemorrhage"... I've had something like this before, dear Hubs thought it was a cool idea and it didn't taste bad, but the ~texture~ almost made me yak it back out. I'm going to stay away from the mixed-media shots and stick with clear-and-classy booze. The "brain hemorrhage" reminds me of a male-based-fluid that I can not adequately communicate in a joke right now, ball's in your court (ba dum bum).

1 year, 11 months ago on Brain Hemorrhage Shot

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Alright, I joined deviantART just to share this tasty creation with you all despite workplace firewall BS. 

And lo, the Candy Crunch Unicow: http://fav.me/d5hhzdb

1 year, 11 months ago on Candy Corn Crunch

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Apparently the internet has anticipated your unicow request: http://tinyurl.com/99awjw6http://tinyurl.com/8euxojm   

I will still photoshop my own version of unicow, just tell my boss to stop walking past my desk...

1 year, 11 months ago on Candy Corn Crunch

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"Your leg was asking for it, obviously. Also, legs have ways to shut down that sort of thing if it’s legitimate."  I see what you did there, huzzah running joke! And it totally shut all that attempted "H" down, using the other leg and various forces learned in Physics ages ago. Framed "menses card" is wonderful, tho placement means it's only visible to the male of the species during bathroom visits...just saying.

1 year, 11 months ago on Pinteste Round-up: Contest! Sale! Vagina!

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As I read the above, my parents' little dog came over with his favorite toy, sat on my leg, started to "H" and ended with "goddammit get off me you ball-less freak!". True story.

1 year, 11 months ago on The Way You Move

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tasty! but, um, where's the rum gone?!?!?

1 year, 12 months ago on Ogre Eyes Hot Chocolate

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@Pintester @StephanieEinaphets Husband blames the dog, I blame the barking spiders

1 year, 12 months ago on Marriage

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You like me, you really, really like me! It seems I've been slacking off on my Pintester-stalking lately so it was a wonderful, fangirly treat to see that you featured my comment re: illegitimate waves, eeeeee!!!!! ^_^  Your blog is seriously the only light in my cubicle-blocked world from the hours of 8 to 5. I will mend my ways and devote more time to the stalking, carry on!

1 year, 12 months ago on Pinteste Round-up: Making Shitty Weeks Less So

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This recipe appears to be "Woman-Pleasing Chicken", false advertising! Broiling the chicken at the end should give you that pseudo-grilled look and texture from the Pin pic. Oooo!! Forget the broiler, use a blowtorch and share the video! ^_^

2 years ago on Man-Pleasing Chicken

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the shore was obviously asking for it, just look at how it's dressed...and anyway, those weren't legitimate waves, so it's cool...

2 years ago on Dude. Ocean. Not cool.

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...elsewhere for awesome! /rant On with the Pins!!

2 years ago on Copycat Chick-fil-A Nuggets

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@CD928 "I dunno think that word means what you think it means"... 'commie' would be her standing in line for bread, 'capitalist' is her decision to chose where her money is spent, for any reason.

Politics and religion aside, chick-fil-a as a corporation chose to spend their big bags of money on supporting hateful and destructive policies both here and internationaly. I use my capitalist powers

2 years ago on Copycat Chick-fil-A Nuggets

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And "lo, it was a fucking mess" can be your new blog tagline if you want to mix it up a bit ^_^ And, while exciting, you should probably stay away from any explosive combustibles...unless it's an ingest-able form of alcohol...

2 years ago on Baking Soda Blackhead Remover

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"take a nap while marinating in the juices of your left-over beauty supplies and your own sweat" = keepin' it classy ^_^ This is definitely one to skip for me, I'd much rather sit around marinating myself with tasty wine.

2 years ago on Body Wrap At Home

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Your blog has me snorting at work again - love the guest Pintester (PinTwin)! Rockin' Green sounds impressive and with potential-baby-poo-action in my future I will need all the help I can get! Would love to give some away at the multitude of upcoming baby showers (Twitter: @Amalthea22).

2 years ago on A Touching Tale of Poo (and a chance to win some Rockin’ Green soap!)

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Love the pictures, especially the distracting dog. Feel better soon! My favorite sicky-time beverage is Celestial Seasonings Echinacea wellness tea, I'll try boozing it up next time ^_^

2 years, 1 month ago on Hot Toddy

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Congrats on an un-fucked-up pin! Enjoy it's deliciousness for me as I am lactose intolerant and carefully dieting. More food pr0n!!

2 years, 1 month ago on Olive Garden Pasta Alfredo

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