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I'm grateful that my dad makes a mean Old Fashioned (that's a swanky cocktail) and that he hands me and my Current Legal Spouse a drink as soon as we walk in. I genuinely enjoy my family, mainly because we are always boozed up. This week's blog is about other shit I'm grateful for as well.

http://www.rachriot.com 

1 year, 9 months ago on Promote Your Blog on My Blog Right Now – Take IV

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@tfpHumorBlog @RachRiot HA! You know what? You are not the first person to ask me if I really need that Rascal. I have full function of my legs normally but I was indeed drunk as balls that night and stole that ass wagon while in a fancy restaurant. Someone had parked it right by the door! I HAD to!

1 year, 9 months ago on I Promise To Go Back and Reply To All Your Comments!

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Sometimes I go back and reply to my commenters, and sometimes I don't. Depends on my mood. I'm not sure why, because I really do appreciate every comment, and it always gives me a little thrill when a blogger comments on my comment. So why wouldn't I do it for others? 'Cause I'm a lazy bitch. THAT CHANGES NOW.

1 year, 9 months ago on I Promise To Go Back and Reply To All Your Comments!

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Oh lordy-- this is a touchy subject around here because I spend an ass load on my hair. Cut and color. It's around 200 bucks a month. That's right, two bills. My husband always acts shocked and it's been going on for 15 years. Sorry, but I need highlights every month. Dark roots are my own personal kryptonite. 

1 year, 9 months ago on I Just Found Out I Spend More On My Haircuts Than My Girlfriend

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I feel you, dude. The search that most often leads people to my blog is "ass sniffing perverts." Awesome.

1 year, 9 months ago on My Mark On The Internet – Sigh…

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@Katjaneway @RachRiot I recognize you! Hey... you got anything I'd want to steal?? ;)

1 year, 10 months ago on Worst Thing I Do – A Confession

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Oh, fer fooks sake-- I "steal" images for my blog all the time! Am I supposed to feel bad about that? No, if anything I'm giving these photos MORE exposure. You're welcome, photographers!

1 year, 10 months ago on Worst Thing I Do – A Confession

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Bravo. I think the most important thing in life (besides bacon) is passion. For something, anything. And everyone's passion is different. That's the beauty part. I feel sorry for people that deny that part of themselves, for whatever reason. Don't be angry at anyone for following their path, their passion. Just do your own thing. That's what you are doing and I admire that. It's sexy. I really admire how often you post! At first I was intimidated b/c it takes me forever to finish a blog post. Too much thinking. But now I've decided to use my intimidation as an impetus to post more often. So thank you! 

Yeah, passion and gratitude. :)

1 year, 11 months ago on Anger Started This Blog

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@tfpHumorBlog @RachRiot Curses. Foiled again!

1 year, 11 months ago on Anger Can Be A Real Hoot!

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I already did! I insinuated you had a tiny penis on FB! What more can I give?? *sigh*

1 year, 11 months ago on Anger Can Be A Real Hoot!

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I want to be grateful and thank all the people in my life who think I'm talented and push me to keep writing. I have been offered a regular blogging opportunity for a family magazine (a paid gig?!?) and all I can think of is how I'm going to suck and miss deadlines and blow it.

1 year, 11 months ago on Being Grateful For Stuff – Let’s Get Fixed

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@TheBeardedIris OMG.. um I mean, ERMAHGERD, LERSLIE! You'll be at Aiming Low? I definitely want to go now so I can meet you! I lurk on your site quite a bit... :)

1 year, 11 months ago on Being Grateful For Stuff – Let’s Get Fixed

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I completely understand where you're coming from.. but QUID PRO QUO, MO FO-- you never comment on *my* blog! Harumpf!

1 year, 11 months ago on Comments Make/Break My Day – A Confession

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@tfpHumorBlog @RachRiot I'll be sure to spray some Sun In on my roots before the conference. I hope this pleases you.

1 year, 11 months ago on Come to the AimingLow Non-Con!!!

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As you know I grew up Catholic, (because you told me Catholic girls were weird on my blog. THANKS.) and went to an all girls Catholic high school. I used to enjoy making outrageous shit up to shock the priest in the confessional. Good times. p.s. They NEVER asked the girls about masturbation. I would've remembered that shit. One guess why they asked the boys about that. 

Uh huh. Ew.

1 year, 11 months ago on Paris-Ochial Those Are Sins?

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@tfpHumorBlog @RachRiot Just WHAT are you implying, sir?!? I was born blonde and that's all you need to know. Now good day-- I SAID GOOD DAY.

1 year, 11 months ago on Come to the AimingLow Non-Con!!!

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I definitely wanna go! This would be my first conference. So exciting! I will check it out. 

1 year, 11 months ago on Come to the AimingLow Non-Con!!!

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YEAH! You picked mine! By the way, my name is Rachael. You pronounced it like "Raquel" But it's Rachael, like Rachael Ray (but not as annoying and way more stacked) Thank you so much for the shout out. I feel important now.

2 years ago on Vlog – I Took Your Suggestions (Bad Idea)

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Oh hello.. my blog is RachRiot  http://www.rachriot.com  and I wasn't embarrassed at the time but when I was younger my best friend and I were watching Love Boat in her mom's bedroom when my friend suddenly discovered a hard, banana shaped item in her mother's bedside drawer. Huh?? We were delighted to discover it was a massager so we proceeded to massage each other's necks. Until her mother walked in and was so startled she yelled at us and kicked us out. We were very confused. And our necks smelled funny.

I made that last part up.

2 years ago on Promote Your Blog On My Blog Right NOW – Take II

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 @Gwennie http://www.rachriot.com

 

Thanks! And enjoy... ;)

2 years ago on I’m Ready To Have A Baby!

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I have two spawn and I take two trips away per year. Coincidence? No. If I didn't take those trips somebody gonna die. I leave my husband in charge and I don't feel one iota of guilt. I don't care what they do when I'm gone, I call and check in but I'm usually drunk when i do.

Speaking of dildos, please read my blog this week about that very subject!! Thanks!

2 years ago on I’m Ready To Have A Baby!

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T.S.?? As in tough shit? You want me to tattoo that on my upper thigh? That *would* be more convenient than actually telling my husband "no" when he proposes sexy-time. I could just point to the sign... Thanks!!

2 years ago on AimingLow’s Come As You Are BlogHer Party

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I am relieved to know it wasn't you who punched that unicorn cake centerpiece thingy at the party, because *as* the official balloonicorn, that would be like punching your mama. No one wants unicorn-on-unicorn violence.

2 years ago on I Was The Balloonicorn At BlogHer

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You think I feel sorry for you? I live in Texas, son-  where the low today is 133 degrees. Something like that. 

2 years ago on I Had B.O. Today!

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