A lot of men feel this way. A lot of men will get a woman they consider OK looking because they know attention from other males will not be abundant and they won't have to compete. As soon as said woman starts taking better care of herself and turning heads he freaks out. Same thing if a woman furthers her education and/or gets a promotion or better living standard. The man will freak out because she now has a wider pool to choose from.
Agressive flirts are a huge turn off to me, especially when they do not get the message to stop. Nothing gets me running away in the opposite direction faster than a relentless agressive flirt. I also notice a pattern, the more agressive the flirt the bigger the
post-rejection cuss out or meltdown. Defineately not cute.
"I might add that the black men that have biracial children typically don't want their girls dating/marrying men that aren't black"
My dad fits this mentality, he really doesn't like the idea of me dating non-black men and insist that the only men who really aprreciate black beauty are black men. I love my father but this is just hypocritical. He isn't overt with it but he hints at black men that are good looking, I usually say "No he is just not my type" and dad gets upset. Just last week he got upset because I didn't find Floyd Mayweather junior attractive. Sure enough, my grandparents see nothing wrong with his concerns. My cousin is half argentinian and her father is upset she is dating an argentinian man.
The Kamala Harris fallout was just priceless. The womens rights crew was up in arms saying Obama was "sexist" for calling her good looking. They then went on to say this was setting women back/objectifying women.
I think it's that black women have happily assumed the role of mammy and caregiver for so long that people fail to see us as women, and instead see us as battle axes or battering rams. This sort of behavior dates back to highschool for me. When I was in 10th grade americas next top model was that show, everyone wanted to be on it. There was a casting call in Denver and girls were freaking out because they were only 5'4 and had no chance in hell of being a model. At the time I was 5'9 and quite lanky. One teacher suggested "you should try out, you are tall, too bad you are only 15 and you have to be 17". One girl lost her damn mind and went on a tirade on how "the industry is biased" and "vogue doesn't know beauty". This girl was all of 5'2 and certainly had no business anywhere near an agency. But because she was blond, blue eyed and considered the school hottie she felt that she deserved the praise, I didn't say anything.
Fast forward 7 years and I am now a "selfish bitch" for being concerned for my own future and own achievements(I am very self focused) instead of helping them with their assignments. It's like I am supposed to throw away whatever I am doing in favor of helping others, when I know they would not do the same for me.
You are 19, that was the time I finally admitted to myself I was attracted to white men. It was a weight off of my shoulders to be honest with myself. Those guys telling you that "white men don't want black women" are probably trying to keep you in their personal stable. Your brother is way out of line and you need to tell him that you are a grown woman and will date who you want.
Congrats to the happy couple! Yall are both cute as all get out!
Love that he knew what he wanted and went for it!
I can really sympathize with this story because my mother acts the same way. She has high cholesterol and hot flashes(which she has had for 10 years) so far no cancer or any other problems but I am worried. She lives off of cheese sanndwiches, boxed cereal, pork rinds, bacon, bottled dressing and iceberg lettuce. She hates cooking, and I have done most of my own cooking since I was 12. I am a college kid with a $40/week budget and I manage to prepare healthier meals that could feed 3 or 4 people than my parents, who have disposable income for food. When I am at home I am harassed because I mostly do healthy, clean eating meals. I also do paleo, vegan or GAPS baking. They complain because they want to know where the "good stuff" (chocolate cheescake cupcakes, mashed potatoes with butter, enchiladas, lasanga and fries) is. They usually just get fast food.
I see it coming.
I say give it 5 years, most young BW aged 18-24 are open to dating other races, and if these girls know they are attractive, then they are not going to waste time.
I find it hilarious that disgruntled black men are upset that the "good looking women" are not wasting time with them.
The only time I have "dated" a gay man was a friend that was openly gay, when we hung out people thought we were a couple, when we were really just out having fun and catching up that wasn't intentional bearding, there were no secrets and we were(and still are) kids having fun. We both wanted real relationships and were not using one another as cover-ups.
Jason Collins used that woman for 8 years, led her on with no intention of marrying her and wasted her time because he was too much of a coward to be honest. There is NOTHING and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING right about that situation. It's pathetic.
Why why why do black women and girls insist on taking advice from the most dysfunctional piss poor representations of ourselves? This woman is morbidly obese and makes money off potraying stereotypes. The same goes for all of the other "black love" promoters. Star Jones was humiliated yet she STILL has the nerve to diss IRR. Really, it is time to wake up.
This is foolish.
@LadyHumor @Brenda55 @Brice Cameron @Dandelion100
I read the boston terrorist article. These chicks thing he is "too beautiful" to be a terrorist. Damn, where are these kids parents?
And that story is crazy, he stalked her when he got out? Some women take the "I can change him" crap too far.
"Why Not Give a Guy in Prison a Chance?"
Because I am not desperate and I have standards and options. Getting involved with a man while he is incarcerated just reeks of low self esteem and psychiatric issues. Why would I(or anyone else) date a felon when I can easily get a man with a clean record? It makes no sense what so ever.
These women have been brainwashed and conned into thinking a prisoner can actually provide a stable loving relationshipYou can be intelligent, educated, and beautiful but still have piss poor self esteem and common sense reasoning skills. I am all for giving people the benefit of a doubt but trolling prisons for dates is just idiotic. You don't wind up in prison for stupid crap like running around nekkid when drunk, you go to prison because chances are you did something that is seriously f*cked up.
On a more serious note, some women are turned on by the thought of dating a criminal. Jeffery Dahmer, the Nightstalker, Chris Dorner and many others have and had admirers that wanted to marry them, it's called "Hybristophilia". I shit you not, there are actually teen girls(of all races and creeds) that are crushing on the boston terror suspect and think he is "too pretty to be guilty".
This. Growing up(and even today) people had a hard ass time accepting that my siblings and I are(very) obviously part black, and identify as black, they insisted we were "Brazilian" or "Hawaiian" because we "sound like normal people", were "just too quiet" and "don't dance like real black people". When you go to school in a town that is 90% white and the only black people the kids see are on BET, then this is the type of ignorance you get. This or people think you have 3 baby daddies and twerk up a storm nightly.
If she was darker then the trolls would pile on the "ugly" insults, while crying about her "self hate".
Well, congrats to the happy couple.
I hope people get the message that what is OK for you is not OK for the people selling BS to you.
I am tempted to take a trip to a blackistani site just to see the hot mess comments.
The book market is just as bad. People want to hear "our stories". I am more into historic fiction and non-fiction(American girl books were a staple of my childhood) and fantasy/sci fi novels. I would love to see a story based on one of the old school swirl couples featured on here. I would also like to see a black or even biracial female character a la Hermione or Katniss in a fantasy novel.
Back on topic, I would just like to see more black characters in everyday situations, not everyone experiences severe poverty, racism, and struggles daily. Even black authors complain about pressure to write more "real black people"(i.e. poverty porn) stories. I think a lot of it is due to backlash, could you imagine the hissy fit if there was a novel a la true blood or vampire diaries that featured a black female romantic lead and a white male?