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@coco78728 Right, when we report a crime we need to make sure ALL the details are in check. Crying racism will just not work. If we do cry racism we better have evidence to make it stick.
16 hours, 59 minutes ago on False Claims of Racial Profiling Like Son of Taraji P. Henson and Daniele Watts Make It Hard For the Rest of Us.
This sort of BS really cheapens the definition of racial profiling and makes it hard for real victims. If you were doing something illegal and then were stopped by the cops, then it is not racial profiling. Yes there are abusive cops and yes, racism exist but trying to vilify all police officers is the wrong way of going about things.
17 hours ago on False Claims of Racial Profiling Like Son of Taraji P. Henson and Daniele Watts Make It Hard For the Rest of Us.
Maxi me is gorgeous and very insightful, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Have they(Maxi and Jordan) considered their own advice channel for other teens? Both are very charismatic.
I can honestly identify with Maxi, I didn't really care much about dating in high schoolI just wanted out, and didn't really look into serious relationships until recently(I am 24). I preferred white and latino men but felt that they didn't notice me either(I soon learned I was very wrong about that). I also have always had a thing for older men, but realized that a lot of 35 year olds going after teenagers usually are not the best men in terms of looks and quality. I just feel it's gotten easier as I have gotten older(I think I am just entering my best years), I was a very late bloomer and really it does get better.
2 days, 4 hours ago on QOTW: Featuring ‘Maxi Me,’ Discussing High School Love and Racial Preferences
@Sameriah 99 @thecrazyartist @321ZYX @oekmama All joking aside I agree with you. A lot of black people have it drilled in their heads that only they know struggle. I really wish this woman would re-think who she is hanging out with. Yes, people might joke or ask questions but at the end of the day a true friend will be more concerned with whether or not you are happy and whether or not the person you are dating cares for you. They are not going to actively sabotage you.
4 days, 17 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@Cami2210 @oceanspray I think it's because black men are more openly encouraged to be selfish and think of their best interest, while black women are raised to think of the community and uplifting others. That combined with abandonment of responsibility and black women chronically making excuses and justifying piss poor behavior from them. Black women need to start requiring men to put a ring on it and sign a marriage license before having children, start vetting men and stop putting up with BS for "the community". I hate to say it but a lot of women have been brainwashed into thinking it's their job to save the world. By all means volunteer at a youth center, mentor children, and give back if you are inclined to; but you don't have to put your own well-being at stake to prove you are "down with the cause". A lot of women fail to realize this but they are already providing role models by living well.
I don't have a problem with anyone swirling, it's the rampant double standards that bother me.
Thank you Stan!
4 days, 18 hours ago on History: Swirling for the Sake of the Children (and Yourselves)
@oceanspray I have noticed the same thing too. A while back an older WM and I were discussing the job situation in the area. He jokingly said "you could turn to modeling, you have the height and look", the glare from this white woman about my age was pure anger.
4 days, 21 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@Vivaforever @oceanspray Ok all joking aside re-reading this is pretty sick because the imitation is spot on, I promised myself I would grow up and stop imitating the NBABM, Conscious and trolls for $hits and giggles.
Still, a lot of the comments on this XO Jane article were basically on the same level as this.
@allie1231 @Vivaforever @_Toni_ It's pretty messed up to watch.
@Vivaforever @oceanspray It's because black Adonis(TM) identifies with the struggle of the White Nubian Queen(TM). The Man(TM) put us both in chains and ruined our lives. It's up to the Strong Sista Soldiers(TM) to free us! Just look at this , The Man(TM) enslaved Becky like 300 years ago too! Look at them armed guards!
4 days, 22 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@321ZYX @oekmama "The struggle? She sabotaged the relationship because she wasn't ready to be happy. She wants a black man that is angry and always talking about 'the man'."
Girl don't you know it's The Man'sTM fault she is unhappy in the first place? The Man(TM) enslaved the Black Adonis Nubian KingTM like 300 years ago and ruined his life. It's up to the Proud Sista Soldiers(TM) to rise up and help free the Strong Black Adonis(TM) from the Chains of Enslavement(TM). Kudos to this sista for resisting The Man's(TM) evil white voodoo and coming back to fight for the brothas. Just look at these smug azzholes plotting the demise of the Black Adonis(TM) like 300 years ago:
@Savannahpostnew1 @trinigirl1 Great tips! I have issues with not speaking loud enough that I am working on(my voice is a little soft, and somewhat high pitched, so dropping it a little and speaking a little louder is my goal).
@coco78728 I think it's a compilation of letters from thirsty black men who can't find their "white Nubian queen". I think it's to show black men are always calling black women thirsty but at the same time they really like white women.
5 days, 18 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
A lot of white feminist use black women as foot soldiers, just look at how Jezebel dissed Dodai Stewart(this site is really not my speed but this article sums up the whole fiasco nicely):
Just google "Dodai Stewart Emma Carmichael jezebel" and a cornucopia of articles pertaining to what went down will show up(Dodai eventually left Jezebel a few months after the diss).
5 days, 21 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@Public123 @trinigirl1 @ole'skool Co-sign 100%. Over the past few months I have really learned what Web Design and UX is about- selling an idea to a client. How will having a new website benefit them? How will great design improve their lives? How will a new interface make the product more enjoyable? Why should I buy/download your app? Why should I hire or promote you? Knowledge is important, but being able to pitch that into a sale is just as important. On a side note fine-tuning your appearance(down to your voice and mannerisms) pays off across the board. Black women are really taught not to use this in a way other groups are. You don't have to look like Halle or Naomi, but if having a cute face and nice voice makes people want to work with you, then use that.
@darkandlovely @taycohen55 The older I get the more and more I thank my dad for his advice, mainly "A man will not depend on you to make him a man, he should do that on his own".
@taycohen55 I don't know why, the only explanation I can come up with is seeking validation from anyone who will listen.
Looking at that this is just plain sad. Like really? Since when is this sort of crap acceptable?
I don't care what color your mate is, you should be able to seek comfort and solace in your loved ones, even when your world is falling apart. They should NOT be contributing to the problem , emotional pain, and abuse. Your mate should complement your life not complicate it, a lot of black women fail to understand this.
"Higher incidence of all major diseases including breast and colon cancer"
Stress is a real b*tch. A lot of recent studies link stress to an array of health problems(mainly heart and immune system). Is it any real coincidence black women have the highest stress rates?
5 days, 23 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@PoetOfDarkness @thecrazyartist @blackvalkyrie It's all really suspect to me. 90% of the articles are about how hard it is to be a black woman and how much it sucks to be a black woman. All the articles have a "it's hard being a woman but thank God I'm not black" vibe. It seems like it's just a way to boost their self esteem or something. I would even go as far as to say some of the readers and editors have a disdain for black women. For a group of women that allegedly dislikes white men so much they are sure invested in making sure WOC(specifically black women, I sometimes see articles featuring Asian women or Latinas but 90% of these articles focus on black women) don't date them. I personally think this is not even about white men "oppressing" them at all, and more about not wanting to compete with other women. It seems these women still want the white men that are marriage material. Again, I am not discounting anyone's experiences or feelings, but having almost all of the articles that feature black woman be about struggle, racism, haterade, and tragedy is suspect.
6 days ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
@PoetOfDarkness @blackvalkyrie BINGO! I think a lot of these so-called "open minded and progressive" sites are racist and hve just found a way to express it in a more subtle fashion (by letting WOC, specifically black women, shoot themselves in the foot).
I hate to go all conspiracy on people but I am starting to think XO Jane is thoroughly invested in making black women look unstable and undesirable(because is makes unstable and undesirable non-black women feel better about themselves). Why the hell are 90% of the articles featuring women of color struggle porn, tragic mulatto stories, or fabricated? Why is there never an article feauturing something non-depressing? I understand that struggle and tragedy happen in life but why is that the ONLY focus when it comes to black women? I seriously side eye some of these "pro-woman" sites, seriously.
@Silverroxen Nice comeback!
1 week ago on Has Feminism Killed Our Marriage Prospects? Controversial Author Says It Has.
@Leille This is what I don't get about the "marriage is a piece of paper" argument. If it's just "a piece of paper" then why do you have millions of people fighting for the right to be married?
I'm pear shaped so I'm not sure if this is for me.....
1 week, 2 days ago on Corsets and Waist Training…So It’s Really a Thing?
@AnnieRUok @Christelyn @itsgoodtobeme I lurk on these sites from time to time, never comment or spend more than about 5 minutes or so on them. I have to say doing this for years really helped me build an iron clad BS detector from a VERY young age. Some of the "tips" they throw out didn't work when I was 17(and I wasn't even an attractive teen), sure as hell won't work now at 24. Basically they prey on very young women who are sort of desperate.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on How to Date an Alpha Male…Do You Have What It Takes?
I personally avoid the alpha and beta labels 99% of the time and just focus on traits. The labels are subjective and seem subject to change based on the situation. Any man that applies the "alpha male" label to himself is usually just gassing or has turned out to be pretty hard to get along with. I am at the point where I know what traits I look for(kind, patient, chill, no heavy baggage, protector/provider when he needs to be, can take the lead when needed, introspective is a plus) and what I don't want to deal with(whiney, always trying to impress others, overly concerned with keeping up appearances, weak willed and indecisive, abusive, narcissistic, deception, dishonesty and manipulation).
@MySmile @thecrazyartist I can't either it's like a vicious cycle these dudes go through:
1.) Complain that they are constantly rejected by women because they are picky and that they only want rich/hot/thugs/alpha males
2.) Attempt to pick up women by insulting them, violating personal space boundaries, and manipulating them with a series of mind games.
3.) Complain that they are being called a creep and asshole and that women are constantly rejecting them or only "low quality desperate women" flock to them when they are trying to pick up women.
It just makes no damn sense. On one hand these men complain that women are slutty and won't pay attention to them. On the other women are too picky and won't sleep with them. So per this logic women are picky sluts who are not doing enough to satisfy their boners. It's such misogynistic clap trap. You either want a relationship or you don't. Keep it real or keep it moving.
2 weeks, 2 days ago on On Vetting: Beware of “I Can’t Find a Black Woman!” Men. They’re Full of It.
@BellaVoce @thecrazyartist Really though, I take time out of my day to read up on some of the atrocious dating advice being dished out for a laugh from time to time(Think like a man, "The Game", a slew of articles and post on how to date young women(18-25) etc.). You would be shocked by the sheer amount of nonsense men are actually trying. I just cut them off as soon as they begin the games. It's best for everyone that way.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on On Vetting: Beware of “I Can’t Find a Black Woman!” Men. They’re Full of It.
Reading this I am so sorry to hear this happened to Carrie, hopefully this will not happen again to such a nice woman.
Now to the meat of the issue: I see a lot of factors here at work, keep in mind this is JMO(just my opinion).
1.) A lot and I mean a LOT of men who proclaim to love black women, do so because they feel that black women are more "desperate" and are easier to please than white women. ANY and I mean ANY man who says "white women are too spoiled and needy, that is why I love black women" right off the bat without being in a relationship with you is most likely a user.
2.) A lot of and I mean A LOT of men aged 18-35 are into PUA(pick up artist) techniques, which basically are a series of lies and deceptions with the end goal of collecting women into a harem and sleeping with them. Any man who insults you("negging"), flirts with you friends("jealousy game"), or seems pushy to get back to his place ASAP is likely not interested in a relationship. Basically these men see women as commodities and want to put as little effort as possible into getting a woman in bed. If he is not interested in making a good first impression then he is likely not serious about you. There are not second chances on this, act a fool and leave a sour taste on the very first date and you are out.
3.) Beware of men who constantly complain of gold-diggers or shame you for expecting him to pay. Unless a casual coffee date is the agreement then beware. It's a common courtesy for the initiator to do the paying(this applies universally), if a man takes you to McDonalds or Starbucks and ask you to go stag then break it off. If he is testing you, and you have not even known him for a month then leave. The rule that applies of not disclosing your pay rate on the first date applies across the board here.
4.) Often, men like this will keep a harem of women and they are always looking for the "best" they can get. Meaning the youngest, hottest and most financially stable woman available. Which also means he will not take you seriously beyond a bit of booty because you are not worthy of a relationship and there will ALWAYS be someone better in their eyes. They will NEVER see you as special. I don't know what it is but a lot of men picture themselves with a 25 year old on their arm when they are 50 and well past their prime.
Again, not all men are creeps and not all of them are out to get laid. There are men who genuinely want a relationship with a woman regardless of her race. Just beware of the men who try to play on emotions to get what they want like the "I am too nice and women never want me", and "I just can't find a good woman", and "all my exes are crazy" to name a few. Attractive, educated and yes, genuinely nice men DO NOT have ANY problems landing a woman. If they do then most likely the problem is with them.
@Curlygirl83 @EarthJeff I think being online intensifies the creepiness tenfold. People can really mask their true intentions online and I am so sorry to hear what happened to Carrie.
@trinigirl1 @thecrazyartist Thanks!
3 weeks, 2 days ago on I’m the Lead for InterracialDatingCentral.com #BeautifulWoman Campaign…and So are You!!
@The Working Home Keeper @Brownlawfem 40? 40!!!!???
Sorry but I don't believe you don't look a day over 25!
@socialbutterfly @nolonger21 Congrats girl!
Wow! Everyone is gorgeous! There is truly an attractive bunch on this site! I will post my pic later though, I am currently looking pretty raggedy with pink eye and a sinus infection.
@kennaGransberg Projection is a real bitch. Instead of confronting problems these males project them on to others.
3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!
@Christelyn @thecrazyartist I have even seen women fall into this trap. Women act like another black woman is nothing until they see her with a white man on her arm. Then suddenly this woman must be a goddess of sorts that can steal their man at the drop of a hat. Again SMDH. The sheeple never cease to amaze me with their rationale.
@Christelyn @thecrazyartist Seriously, over the years I have come to the conclusion that the obsession over looks is one of the major red flags that a man is DBR. Most men want their woman to look attractive, but any man that obsesses and tries to shame you into how he thinks you should look is damaged. Seriously I have heard all sorts of insults hurled at women who are gorgeous. It's like these men can not and will never find a woman who looks good enough for them.
Funny thing is once said woman gets the White Male Stamp of Approval(TM) these conformist sheep change their tune real quick. Because we all know(according to them) a woman isn't truly attractive until a white guy says so. SMDH.
@PoetOfDarkness @Loveinmosaic It's happening, the majority of black women 18-25 are open to swirling, and more and more men are saying "I don't care as long as she is hot".
The comments about the writers hair were a means of taking a low blow and getting her where it hurts. If you want to shake up a woman's psyche, 9 times out of 10 going after her looks will do it. It is also done as a means of control, men who feel they lack control over women as a whole tend to obsessively focus on women's looks. By obsessive I mean all men are visual, but these guys, no matter what will find a way to tear you down over how you look.
@kennaGransberg Amen, my mother always taught me the same.
3 weeks, 6 days ago on Issa Rae, Jacque Reid and Others Talk Interracial Relationships on “Nightly Show”
I think it's because black women are raised in such a way to not be selfish. Think about it, if it's been drilled in your head since childhood that you are a pillar of the community, and that it is your duty to uplift and support black men then it is going to be very hard to abandon that train of thought. Not even the men in our own community think we are worthy of protection.
In this video "Lean In" is discussed. The "lean in" method doesn't work well for black women for a variety of reasons, but mainly because we are taught we are not worthy and other people believe we are not worthy. A black woman thinking she deserves the same respect as a white woman is a major shock and a foreign to a lot of people, including the men and women in our community.
All this factors into a lot of black women thinking they are abandoning their duties to the black community by dating or marrying a white man. I can safely say this is a factor in why black women do not date out as frequently.
Adorable couple, their story is really sweet.
4 weeks ago on Andrew and Brooke – A “Perfect For Us” Relationship
@Leona_LoveQuest @zipporah @KawaiiCutie I think it really depends, not all Christians are the same. I personally would have no problem dating an atheist, because while I believe in God I have a serious problem with organized religion.
@Law Wanxi @Goddiva I used to live at Fort Benning as a child, I remember the first time I saw people from off the base, I was well, enlightened I guess but really wondering what these alien like beings were, I had never seen anything quite like it.
1 month ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time
@Kaley28 Bill O'Reilly is an effing mess.
@N2ition Right, the father almost never gets custody. The mother has to be a true mess for the judge to even consider giving the man custody.
To be honest I am not surprised by this interview. Rolling stone has a track record of posting offensive, off the wall content for attention. Magazine sales are in the toilet so most will literally publish anything just to get a few hits(Remember this ya'll? I rest my case:http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/17/studentnews/tsarnaev-rolling-stone-cover/).
Kid Rock is probably feeling some kind of way about the black woman he dated, hence why he has custody of his son.
All he did was state his preference, granted he did it in a crude way. That is because black men do it all the time and there are no consequences for insulting black women.
No one is really checking for Kid Rock, no one, mentioning Beyoncé and getting attacked by the Beyhive is a means to get publicity for his new album.
That is all.
@kennaGransberg Chile, I just got back from there LMAO.
@N2ition @StarStroy The Beyhive is going to drag him for filth. All I am saying, now excuse me while I head over to Kid Rocks instagram.
@StarStroy @thecrazyartist @BWC Do not use it before a big event, with my siser it took about 2 weeks for it to stop, for me it took a month.
I just made an account with paula's choice last week, I ordered my other stuff from dermstore.
1 month ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women