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Congrats Matthew! You look amazing!

1 day ago on Matthew’s Weight Loss Journey: “I Was Living a Lie…”

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@SirLoinDeBeef @oekmama  Congrats on the weight loss SirLoin! I have begun to cook from scratch(stock, bread and 75% of my food) I have also become more diligent with portion control.  My Aunt is a type 2 diabetic and she has no collagen left on her joints she is back on insulin and her weight is out of control.  She was slim and athletic as a young woman but began to overeat as an emotional coping mechanism. 


Her marriage was miserable and her husband and son were both completely unsupportive(son is now 41 has never held a job and has never paid any bills).  This is why I am so passionate about black women's health and well-being.  I have seen too many women in my family "weather the storm" at the expense of their own health.

3 days, 8 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.

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Sorry to hear this about your sister. 

Remember, there is no expiration date stamped on us.

3 days, 9 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.

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@oceanspray  The entire lecture is basically Blackistan at its finest

1 week, 2 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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There is so much wrong with this entire lecture that I can't even...


Women should not report a rapist because it might ruin his future?  What the hell?  Rapist need to be locked up, we don't need violent offenders roaming the streets.  If said rapist doesn't want his life ruined then he should have thought about that before he decided to rape. This is why so many pedophiles and predators are never caught in the black community,  it's swept under the rug because the girl was "fast" and it might ruin the pedophiles future.  Such bullshit.


Women need to watch how they dress in order to avoid rape?  Seriously?  You can be wearing a burlap sack or covered from head to toe, a rapist doesn't care.  Isn't it funny how black women are told to be more feminine and put more effort into their appearance, yet when they do so they are "sluts", begging for male attention, and therefore deserving of rape.  You cannot win.


Mr. Lincoln is just a prime example of everything that is wrong with higher education, instead of telling young men to respect boundaries, and you know, not sexually assault women he is shifting the blame onto women.  He is a prime example of an arrogant, self-centered, entitled asshole masquerading as an intellectual; the very type of asshole that is now so prolific on college campuses.

1 week, 2 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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@Patricia Kayden  Diito, if you don't want to ruin your life then don't commit crimes, end of story.

1 week, 2 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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@seemebeautiful I can't believe this is the direction an HBCU is headed in.  The founders must be rolling in their graves.

1 week, 2 days ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.

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@KingsDaughter @LorMarie  I have some gray and I am 23.  Some people just go gray at an earlier age than others(my uncle was only 25 when he was 50% gray, he still looked about 18 in the face though).  Most people just think I am a college kid experimenting with color...

1 week, 3 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@friendswmimi  I'm catching up on sleepy hollow,  I used to watch reality TV from time to time but I stopped completely last year.  It's just way to effed up and degrading at this point.  Don't even get me started on blood sweat and heels....

1 week, 3 days ago on I’m Taking a Hard Line. Either You Are With Us, Or You Are Against Us.

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@jazzyfae45  I don't get this either and I am not a big Scandal fan, but the logic of  mistress=bad and feral animal=OK don't make any sense to me.

1 week, 4 days ago on I’m Taking a Hard Line. Either You Are With Us, Or You Are Against Us.

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Here is what helped me overcome the feelings of worthlessness I hope it helps someone else:


1.) If you are truly depressed seek professional help, a good therapist can change your life.  There is no shame admitting that you have a problem, none.


2.) Choose happiness and self-love over the opinions of others.  At the end of the day these people do not pay your bills or enrich your life.  Verbal abuse is the only form of control these people have left, and they will have nothing once you stop paying them any mind.


3.) Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on being the best you.  Think about the features you love about yourself, and find ways to enhance them.  This doesn't have to just be physical, you should also include personality traits as well as intellectual qualities.



You also have to understand that the "overweight, twerking baby mama" image of black women does not apply to everyone.  These people are ignorant.  Everyone has a preference, and we cannot make someone change that, but understand that while this guy might feel this way there are 10 more who love black women.



1 week, 4 days ago on QOTW: “How Do I Stop Believing I’m Undesirable?”

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@jazzyfae45  I had the same issue, growing up my teachers and a few other adults would always say "you are beautiful, give it 10 years and you will see".  I didn't see it(in hindsight everyone around me clearly felt I was a late bloomer, but I wanted recognition right then).  I also saw all of the "black women are pigs" videos pop up on YouTube. I eventually had to tell myself that these opinions couldn't hurt me, and that it was ultimately my decision to be happy.  I chose happiness and self love over the cruel statements and opinions of others and I have not looked back since.



1 week, 4 days ago on QOTW: “How Do I Stop Believing I’m Undesirable?”

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@trinigirl1 @Brenda55  I wanna look like you when I am in my 50's, so stunning!

1 week, 4 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@SirLoinDeBeef @mzsunshine  I'm naturally light brown, minus the future leather bag look.  Entitled sun worshippers can lie and hate all they want,  I KNOW if I had a pill that could give them that skin color they would take it.


Heck if I made an "age like a black woman" vitamin I would be filthy rich....

1 week, 4 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@Ri74  Raw coconut oil FTW.  I don't know how I ever survived winter without it, it's great for everything: cooking, body oil, hair treatment, scalp treatment, dry patches....

1 week, 4 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@mzsunshine  girl you are so wrong lol

1 week, 5 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@lindsaynagle  I'm 23, I prefer older men(30-35) but I mainly get hit on by frat boys and guys anywhere from 18-20.  I tell them I have a younger sister, some are quite mature though(this 20 year old firefighter looked like a young Ioan Gruffudd so I flirted back, he was cute).

1 week, 5 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@LadyHumor @BreannaNouveaux  I upped my game this summer with daily sunblock, and making it a point to use a body scrud weekly and moisturize daily.  I have always maintained a cleansing and moisturizing regimen for my face, but I have skimped on body care and sunblock this past winter and spring.

1 week, 5 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@NYMan @zipporah  I think the one thing everyone should be doing to protect their skin is use sunblock consistently.  Black women of all shades naturally have an advantage due to thicker skin and more melanin(less wrinkles and less sagging). When I look at some of my sun-worshipping classmates from high school I am a little shocked. Most of these women are only 22-25 and are already showing obvious signs of aging.

1 week, 5 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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I really think obesity and stress undo a lot of black women.  Even then black women still tend to have better skin than others.

Facially I look like my mother but body-wise I take after my father(tall and naturally athletic looking), no idea where I might end up based on that. My mother looked very young until her mid-40's then suddenly her age began to show(according to her), dad is in his 60's with minimal gray hair.  On the other hand I am 23 and most of my former co-workers had no idea I was already in my 20's.

1 week, 5 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’

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@Neecy  Agree 100%, some women need to realize that the church isn't God. It's not the churches fault.  I think a lot of these churches are running a scam and using God as a means to brainwash people, but it is entirely up to the patrons to read the word of Christ and interpret that on their own.  Some people have attended church for years and still don't know the Ten Commandments.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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I am sorta torn on this.  I know this will receive attention, but what about all the black women who have been killed for rejecting a mans advances? 

2 weeks, 4 days ago on So…Street Harassment is Important Now That White Women Are the Focus?

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@Neecy  I think devotion to God vs. devotion to the pastor needs to be established. A lot of women picture the pastor as their husband and hold onto the ideal black man trope.  If someone truly knows the word of Christ then he or she knows that believers do have authority and free will in their lives, and that it is up to them to discern whether or not a church is for them.  Another issue is people hold on to the idea that anytime something messed up happens that God intended it.  God isn't behind everything, sometimes things are the fault of other human beings(like rape, accidents, and murder) or a result of poor decision making(like being a baby mama).  People like to pretend the free will clause does not exist.  The brainwashing is deep, it took one of my friends years to realize that God did not intend for her to be raped as a kid(yes, someone actually told her that her rape was God's will).

2 weeks, 4 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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From my experience some of the most judgmental self-proclaimed Christians are the biggest hypocrites.  You have people who are truly devoted to God(not a church or pastor but the lord himself), and then you have these people.


Really, how many times have we encountered the never married professional baby daddy calling himself a man of god?


My thought is if these people really wanted women to be devoted to the teachings of Christ then they would encourage young black women and men to go on missions(travel=life experience and exposure to other cultures), not encourage them to put more money in the pastors pocket.




2 weeks, 4 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…

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For me the past secrets are not sexual.  As a teenager I dabbled in drugs and the occult.  Some people find it interesting and want to know what made me change my mind, others think I made a pact with Satan and run the opposite direction ASAP. 


I just don't share that little tidbit about myself anymore in conversations.  It's irrelevant at this point and no one really needs to know.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Holding Your Past Against You!

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Agree 100%. 

Many people are contented in dysfunction and suffering.  They either fail to see what they are doing and how they are living is detrimental, think that having a messed up life is what God/fate/the universe intended for them and that fighting it is futile, or they are invested in seeing others lives in discontent because is assures them how they are living is normal.


The sheer amount of grown men and women who become outraged when you tell them to take responsibility for their dating and reproductive choices is appalling. These are adults that refuse to acknowledge that screwing anything that moves without protection is a bad choice.  They refuse to realize that dating losers and ex-cons is an all-around terrible idea.  They refuse to admit that being a "playa" and trying to up their notch count comes with potential consequences.  They refuse to own their decisions and instead hide behind the thin veils of feigned outrage,  cries of "slut shaming", and accusations of misandry or misogyny.  No matter what it is never their fault they decided to partake in all kinds of trifling behavior and they refuse to accept the consequences.  Not everything is God or Satans fault.  Not everything is the white mans fault.  You can't blame every mishap in your life on social injustice or coincidence; that is bullshit.


What is my point here?  My point is yes, sometimes life throws you for a loop, but 95% of your current situation is in your control.  A lot of people are content with living in a detrimental situation.  They have absolutely no desire to change it, there are also others who refuse to call a spade a spade and will assist them in defending dysfunction.  The amount of people who will willingly co-sign, defend and protect trashy, trifling ,and outright pathetic behavior is staggering.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on I’m Beginning to Think that Many Black Folks are Contented in Dysfunction.

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@darkandlovely @nyaw  I grew up in the southwest and I agree.  If a Latino man thinks you are beautiful and wants to date you he makes it known.

3 weeks, 1 day ago on It Should Be a SIN for Women Like This to be Dateless!!

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Wow, you are gorgeous. Grad school and med school are the perfect places to meet guys.  One thing I have learned is you have to really make it known you are available,  I am quite shy so I have had to teach myself to be a little more flirtatious and I had to become better at reading signals.  Read between the lines, men of different races might not be as forward as black men or Latino men. Another thing to consider is you are quite beautiful, some guys might think that you are already off the market and therefore will not approach.

3 weeks, 1 day ago on It Should Be a SIN for Women Like This to be Dateless!!

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@lindsaynagle  I'm 5'10(well, more like 5'9.5) and a few men are intimidated.  I also get approached by men a few inches shorter most of the time(and most of them are HOT).  I don't mind a guy being shorter than me, I appreciate a good looking man regardless of height.

3 weeks, 1 day ago on It Should Be a SIN for Women Like This to be Dateless!!

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@jpopforever28 


I know that more than a few black men only care about thick thighs and a big butt.  They don't care what your face looks like or the rest of you, as long as your butt and thighs are big they are down.  It's mainly lower class(read: ghetto) men, but  a few well to do men feel the same way.

3 weeks, 2 days ago on On Vetting: Dump Toxic People Who Prefer You to Sustain Unhealthy Habits

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@JanGibson  I don't feel sorry for her at all.  There are cases of real racism and real police brutality and she made a mockery of them.  On top of that she has zero class.

1 month ago on Daniele Watts Faced with Lewd Conduct Charges

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@Law Wanxi  IDK the cop is pretty cute,  I actually prefer men who are not heavily muscled, the whole bodybuilder look does nothing for me.

1 month ago on Daniele Watts Faced with Lewd Conduct Charges

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@jazzyfae45  I honestly thing they probably would have been let off more easily had they not created that media fiasco/attention whoring mess, again just my opinion.

1 month ago on Daniele Watts Faced with Lewd Conduct Charges

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@jazzyfae45  If there is one thing I have learned it's that men want to feel like the woman they are with is a prize in some way shape or form.  NOTHING is more unattractive to a man than a desperate woman who will put up with just about anything to get his attention.

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@International_Responder 


It's true, even on web development forums I notice this trend. There are usually very few black men dishing out business advice and the majority of the ones that do are foreign(Nigerian, Jamaican, Somali etc.).

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@jazzyfae45 @Jen221 

"The preferences of black men don't really bother me because i'm not dead set on ONLY dating black men, I know that there ARE men out there who don't think of black women as the bottom of the barrel, in fact WE ARE their preference. And I choose to focus on that. "



As I get older the more I realize it's easier to focus on the people that do like you, than gripe about the ones who can't stand you.  Happy I learned this before 30.

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@Oaktown Paul  @marie_christine2 


It's like these women have Stockholm syndrome.  That or they actually enjoy being publicly humiliated and abused.

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@trinigirl1 @Gijou 


What's more pathetic is black men suddenly take interest in a black woman if white men find her attractive.  It's like the thought process is "The white gods find her attractive, she must be worth it".

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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I always say this but you deserve someone who thinks you're the bees knees and vice versa. That man could be black, but he could also be Asian, Latino, or White. You should be with someone who reciprocates your love and respect, they should enjoy you and want to spend time with you.  You should not be with someone who just "tolerates" you. 

1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.

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@The Working Home Keeper  A recipe section would be nice, I like cooking, I'm learning to make homemade bread this week.

1 month ago on Open Thread: Brainstorm Session -The Forum

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Can there be a careers section? For people changing careers, working in hybrid careers, career advice and dress tips etc.


Also maybe a tech sub forum in the entrepreneur section.  I am trying my hand at freelance web design(I live in an area where there are literally no tech jobs and have decided to make my own) and would like to talk to other tech geeks.

1 month ago on Open Thread: Brainstorm Session -The Forum

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How long will this be open?  I won't have money to spare until Tuesday.

1 month ago on We Broke $5,000 in just THREE Days! Get Your “Troll Tears” Sippy Cup Today!

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@SirLoinDeBeef @thecrazyartist 

LMAO.

Yeah, but those guys are usually not given a pass

1 month, 1 week ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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@kennaGransberg @thecrazyartist  I know, said guy is now in his early 30's and is still doing the same things he was 9 years ago. I never dated him(my parents would have freaked out), but I did regret not taking up his offer for a while.  I am still quite sheltered and a little naïve(I am 23 now), but over the past nine years I have really grown as a person and matured.  All I can think is "how was I so dumb back then?".  Back then I just thought it was cool he had a car!

1 month, 1 week ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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@kennaGransberg 


I had a huge crush on one of my friends older brothers when I was 14.  I never fully acted on it or dated him, but he made it clear he was more than willing to give it a shot.  He was 22, looking back on it I wonder what I ever saw in him.  He was very good-looking and as a hormone riddled 14 year old I probably failed to see past that. 

1 month, 1 week ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Let me start by saying I can feel where the author is coming from.  When I was in my teens I wanted nothing to do with teen boys.  I liked men in their 20's, but the key thing here was I knew most decent attractive men in their 20's would not date me, and the losers that I wanted nothing to do with  were more than willing to give it a shot. A friends older brother was interested but I never acted on it, he was GORGEOUS, but I soon realized all he had was his looks.  Looking back on it I wonder why a 22 year old was hanging out with a bunch of 9th graders.  A lot of men will try to take advantage of you, especially at your age.  Some men even purposefully seek out much younger, naïve women as a control issue.  There may be some personality defects on his part that a woman his own age might not be willing to tolerate.


My advice would be to enjoy being a teenager, it's the only time in life where you can act a complete fool and be given a pass. I would wait until you are 18 to consider dating an older man(say around 23-26), and wait until you are 21 to try a May-December romance.

1 month, 1 week ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Let's see who is doing this:

Disgruntled white women

Ride or die black women

Disgruntled black men


I think it's time we made our own forum.  I am donating.

1 month, 1 week ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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Does Steve Harvey ever discuss why two of his marriages failed? Or is he one of those guys that blames the ex-wife for everything?

1 month, 1 week ago on Steve Harvey Has a New Dating Websites Aimed at ‘Teaching Women to be more DATEABLE’

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