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All this is to me is further proof that the black community views black women as expendable. I can see why Azealia is crying, not even her own people are willing to stand up for her and that hurts. They threw her under the bus and backed over her and I expected nothing less. We all know that when a black women voices dissatisfaction she will be written off as jealous, uppity, and angry.
12 hours, 39 minutes ago on The Battle of the Azealias: Who Gets Mocked, Who Gets Protected.
Calling someone "crazy" is a way to be dismissive, that's what the haters are doing.
GAD is a real pain, I was(finally) diagnosed this September, suddenly the random outburst, paranoia and hypochondria made sense.
Thank you Chris, and keep doing you, you're fabulous!
1 day, 11 hours ago on The Critics are Right. I AM “Crazy.”
I honestly give Facebook and twitter two more years.
I remember in 2006 the cool thing to do was wear heavy black eyeliner, go on Myspace and blast my chemical romance or bullet for my valentine while you cried and complained about life and wrote bad poetry. Back then the response was "this is so deep, you really capture the pain". Fast forward 8 years and the response is " WHY are you still on Myspace the f*ck is wrong with you? Grow a pair and fix that crappy makeup job."
Web trends are fickle. Nothing is here to stay and what was hot one moment can be blasé and dull 6 months later. Crazy as it is the stuff I learned about web design 2 years ago is already past it's due date, working in tech means you will basically be in school racking up certs or doing some self-guided learning for life(or at least your career span).
3 days, 9 hours ago on End of the Year, End of the Drama, Part II
I missed the drama, times like this make me happy I don't have Facebook.
Sorry to hear you were let down Chris, people are vicious. This is why I am weary of most online support sites, heck I remember getting cussed out on an anxiety board a while back. You can't replace real human contact with virtual.
I don't have a Facebook(I am already low on person to person contact so Facebook is not the place for me) so I am in the dark and confused over what went down, but I will say this: a true friendship can withstand difference of opinion, minor scuffles, and even major arguments. When people truly respect each other at a core level then petty BS does not tear them apart.
3 days, 9 hours ago on Online Friendships Ain’t Real, and Why You Should Only Have 150 Facebook Friends.
@Cami2210 @thecrazyartist @Brenda55 @Lady Humor Yup, I know guys making 20-30k/year that are worried about gold diggers coming for them.
4 days, 12 hours ago on QOTW: Geeky Guys Seeks Girl, but with Strings Attached.
@BeauWinters A lot of it stems from social anxiety and a lack of human interaction. A lot of socially awkward geeky guys have not really dated women and rely on the internet and stories to form their opinions based on that. As a result these people cling to shitty advice from bitter disgruntled people and end up making their situation much worse. I can kind of sympathize in the sense I was/am quite sheltered, socially awkward and only really got a taste of different personalities recently(as in the last 3 years). Up until then I was convinced most men didn't want to date black women thanks to internet trolls. Still, the author is almost 25, it's time for him to get out and interact with others, it is the ONLY way he will get over his social awkwardness and bias. He is going to have to get out there and form his own opinions. It might take some time so I suggest he start now. I can understand an extended "awkward" phase, but as an adult it is up to him to work through it. I really think he needs to take time to work on himself and the beliefs that are holding him back.
@Brenda55 @thecrazyartist @Lady Humor
The whole gold-digger fear is just hilarious to me, most men don't even make enough to attract a real gold digger. It really is a subculture of sorts, one that most men(and women) are not a part of. Unless you are very well to do and have quite a bit of money to blow then a gold digger is not going to give you the time of day. Most men simply don't have to worry about gold diggers.
4 days, 15 hours ago on QOTW: Geeky Guys Seeks Girl, but with Strings Attached.
Maybe it would be better if the letter writer put dating on hold until he gets his life together. I can understand finding employment in your desired field is rough and not everyone can just pack up and move, but putting romance on hold while you work on yourself is not a bad idea. 25 is still young, so now would be the time to start building a foundation for the future(I am 23 soon to be 24 and doing this right now, I realized I am not ready to date and I also had to admit to myself that I was looking for commitment when I don't want to be married anytime soon, realizing these things will make it easier). I also realize that the letter writer seems to view dating as a "meal ticket", that perspective is going to hurt his chances big time and actually sounds quite off-putting and rude. Women are not a commodity, if you are looking for a long-term relationship then you are really going to have to change that. If you are on a budget then there are tons of inexpensive date ideas. If you ask then you pay, thinking otherwise indicates a lack of general manners and is probably what is off-putting to so many women.
Overall I just get the feeling that the letter writer might be giving off funky vibes and signals that he might not be aware of.
4 days, 16 hours ago on QOTW: Geeky Guys Seeks Girl, but with Strings Attached.
@Lady Humor I have said this multiple times but a real tried-and-true gold digger will not even bother with a man making less than 200k/year. I have encountered women like this, and they know where and how they can snuff out a very well to do man, they are not exactly looking for men at the local supermarket (unless said starbucks is in a rich area). It's an entire subculture and a party that most of us(male and female) are not invited to.
That being said, the general rule of thumb is if you ask someone out then you pay. It's a rule that spans across the board from first dates to business lunches. It kills me that people do not get this. The date doesn't have to be expensive, hot cocoa in the park or seeing a free concert is just fine.
4 days, 17 hours ago on QOTW: Geeky Guys Seeks Girl, but with Strings Attached.
this is fantastic!
5 days, 16 hours ago on Former Naysayer Takes Health in Her Own Hands and Thrives!!
@jjelsewear I do agree with you, there is a lack of social decorum and quite a few women did nothing to provoke the bad behavior. There are women that do take attention seeking photos, then wonder why no one takes them seriously.
1 week ago on What Pictures Say About You That You Might Not Like…
People refuse to accept this, but the context of a photograph says a lot. Not all nudity is equal, a woman posing for an artistic shot is seen as awesome(especially in artsy circles), posting your titties on Facebook for page hits is not. There is a difference between a celebration of the female form and desperate attention seeking.
@kennaGransberg What I have noticed with some people is as long as the picture is for a black man then it's OK.
@Cami2210 @zipporah @PoetOfDarkness
There are two explanations for this phenom
1.) Most black men they encounter don't really respect them and think they are ratchet/ugly/dark/nappy/ghetto/not good enough for them and want nothing to do with them outside of monetary gain and easy booty; all regardless of how classy, beautiful, and educated said woman is.
2.) They are well aware of the dysfunction in "the community" and want nothing to do with it for their sake and their future children's sake, but have no problems selling the blackistani agenda to other black women and promoting fuckery because it's OK as long as they do not have to deal with it(see the black "elite" for further reference). "What's OK for thee is not OK for me" is the attitude at work.
1 week, 2 days ago on QOTW: Should White Guys Date ‘Sister Soldiers?’
@Letta @Geekette221B True, quite a few people are willing to overlook all kinds of crazy and dysfunction when a hot body and good looks are attached to it.
Finally, an advice book that doesn't chastise us and accuse us of being in the wrong all the *cough*SteveHarvy*cough*. It's refreshing!
1 week, 2 days ago on New Book Presentation: Change Your Mind Change Your Destiny
Yup and that is where most of the strain will come from. No lie I know a woman who thought her boyfriend might be racist because he preferred the white iPhone. Crazy, but it can get to that level for some people. Now tell me, would you really want to deal with that sort of drama(based on trivial BS) on a weekly or even daily basis? Tell me this, if you were a black woman with a guy who was waiting for you to do something "ghetto" and imitate the women on one of those God-awful Bravo minstrel shows and embarrass him in public would you put up with it? I certainly wouldn't. Relationships need trust and understanding to last, if that isn't there then it will be very, very difficult.
I don't know the full situation or context, but this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. In interracial relationships and dating it is crucial to see people as people and hold everyone to the same standard. The fact that she holds one race to a higher standard than others speaks volumes. Viewing other races with bias or suspicion is a red flag IMO. Unless you are both willing to work past these issues then that is great, but understand that it takes quite a bit of time for people to work past a racial bias. If she is constantly looking and testing to see if you are racist then the relationship is going to be very hard and very strained. It's hard to believe but it is very possible for a woman who swirls to still ride or die for black men and the black community. The fact that she admitted to wanting to prosecute the white man in a harsh fashion speaks volumes and shows that she is still looking for "retribution" for racism and slavery.
@Sophia Agree% At the end of the day Hollywood is all about the $MONEY$. IF they feel an all white cast is going to rake in the dollars they will go with it. While I would at least like to see a more ethnic even ambiguous Zipporah(I mean really? Not even Rashida Jones or Alicia Keys were available?), we know that money was the man motivator. Will I be seeing this? No, but I am not really outraged, Hollywood will continue to do this as long as they can make money off of it. I am not shocked in the least, nothing about the entertainment industrial complex shocks me anymore.
1 week, 2 days ago on As Much as I Love Christian Bale, I WON’T Be Watching “Exodus: Gods and Kings.”
@oceanspray Girl, I went to High School with a guy that was half Turkish. They make it KNOWN when they want you.
1 week, 3 days ago on Another Letter From an Asian Guy…
@JesseFactotum Where you were raised and value system makes 100% the difference. A multiracial Hawaiian guy or a Caribbean guy will think differently than a 1st generation immigrant. People forget that culture and location plays a big role.
@Statuesque @500and50 @IrvingLegagneurSr I like Much Ado About Nothing, Sexy Hawaiian Keanu and Sexy Denzel in one movie. Whats not to love?
1 week, 4 days ago on As Much as I Love Christian Bale, I WON’T Be Watching “Exodus: Gods and Kings.”
@PrettyBLKgurl @Atlantic_Equity @Christelyn I really think that it all comes down to preference. This is why vetting and picking the right partner is crucial. If you are a woman that insist on having a man that can wear the pants and step up to the plate then look for that. If you like wearing the pants and calling the shots then look for a man that prefers that.
1 week, 5 days ago on The One Thing that Motivates *Manly* Men…
One thing I recently came to terms with is it's ok to be a little shy, and it's OK to be quiet. Nothing about being a listener over a talker indicates weakness. I have found out a lot of men see this as mysterious and it actually turns them on. Men like the chase, and getting to know the woman who doesn't have her life on display on Facebook is a great prospect to a lot of men.
I really think it depends on cultural ties. A first generation immigrant is going to be very different from someone whose grandparents are from first generation immigrants. I agree with the poster that said black women have more in common culturally with western white men.
1 week, 6 days ago on Asian Men…I’m Getting To a Certain Point Where I’m Ready to Throw it In.
@Lady A @jazzyfae45 PREACH!
2 weeks, 2 days ago on Objectifying Our Girls…Thank the Gods Malia Has Body Guards.
Is this pick on Malia week or something? WTF is wrong with people? She is a 16 year old girl.
That woman's response is just proof that some women are so starved for male attention or validation that they DGAF who it is coming from or what the circumstances are, they are even willing to go as far as shaming other women who are receiving the warped, negative attention they so desperately crave. Women like this enable sexual predators.
I dealt with this to a lesser extent, but at 16 nothing made me feel more paranoid, afraid or ruined my day more than being hit on by old perverts and town degenerates.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Objectifying Our Girls…Thank the Gods Malia Has Body Guards.
I need that book in my life
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Gifts for the Nerd In Your Life…
All I have to say is if you do not care about your own children why would anyone else? If you did not care enough to provide your child with a stable loving environment then why would anyone else care? Bringing this up draws accusations of "shaming" and "supporting white supremacy" and the ever present "you don't have kids so STFU!" but lets face it: it starts in the home. You as a parent cannot rely on society as a whole to raise and nurture your children, it is ultimately your job to teach and guide them, to shield them from harm, and inform them on misconceptions and dangers. No amount of welfare, section 8, riding and dying for bum ass men, and screaming racism will change that.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Charles Barkley: “The Black Community Has a Lot of Crooks”
@Leille I think a lot of this has to do with the "totem pole" myth. For years WW who were otherwise overweight and unattractive could always count on the "at least I am not black" trope. Now that more and more people(especially men) are acknowledging black women for their beauty these women feel betrayed. Not only do they have to compete with the Candace Swanepoel and Brooke Shields lookalikes, they now have to compete with the Naomi Campbell and Halle Berry lookalikes. This is infuriating to no end. I have actually had white girls insist my hair is fake(it's super thick and a little past my bra strap) because it is just too thick, soft and shiny and grows to quickly to be real.
Seeing a black woman who is slimmer and more conventionally attractive than they are is just insult to injury.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Resignation of GOP Staffer Proves What Happens When Black Womanhood is Protected
@Ri74 Seriously though, when I first saw this a few days ago I was like "Why is this 45 year old woman doing this?" I truly thought she was at least 40, I did not know she was only 31.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Resignation of GOP Staffer Proves What Happens When Black Womanhood is Protected
@Ri74 I just hate how adults go after each other through the kids. I hated it when it happened to Sarah Palin and I hate it when it happens to the Obama girls. I am libertarian and I don't see this as a right-left issue but as a right-wrong issue. Bristol Palin was pregnant as a teen, the Bush girls loved to drink. Their behavior wasn't the best, but that was no reason for people to drag them through the mud, kids make mistakes. However, in this case the girls did absolutely nothing besides "look bored". I can see why people think this is worse, for years black women and girls have been held to a stricter standard than white women and girls, and people see it at play here. It happens all the time.
@Maxine @Statuesque Where I live there are two types of bars. The first one is the kind you go to after work to have a drink, unwind and catch up with friends. The second is the type at the edge of town that you take all the women you don't want to be seen in public with to. Ms. Lauten might be more familiar with the latter....
That's a rough 31.......
@marie_christine2 @Bunny77 How old is this Lauten chick? She looks about 40 and is picking on kids.
@SwirlQueen I honestly hate seeing the families of politicians attacked, especially the kids. Her attack was completely uncalled for and vicious.
I don't need this palette, I don't need this palette........I NEED this palette in my life IMMEDIATELY!
3 weeks, 3 days ago on Day Three of the Vice 3 Palette: “Get Frosty”
You're basically her back pocket boy. She keeps you in her back pocket just in case her relationships fail. My advice would be to move on and find a woman who actually wants a relationship with you. It might sound hard to do but believe me, it will be better for you in the long run.
3 weeks, 4 days ago on QOTW: Are You the Backup Booty?
@Christelyn @LadyHumor I already have naked 2 and 3, I keep telling myself I don't need another urban decay palette but this looks so tempting.
3 weeks, 4 days ago on Day Two of the Vice 3 Palette: “New Mexico Sunset”
Bravo Chris! I live on the Colorado/New Mexico border and this is how the sky looks during sunset. Sometimes I have to take a step back and appreciate how beautiful it is.
@Brenda55 @_Toni_ @MsDee49
Yup, most of these fools want quality women, but quality women want nothing to do with them.
3 weeks, 6 days ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
What I don't get is a lot of the men writing this sort of BS would not give BW the time of day before. So why are they now so obsessed with them?
@jazzyfae45 I'm not shocked either, a lot of losers get it twisted. They think we will take anything and just be happy to have a man. I have been approached by these types and the rejection is usually a shock for theme and doesn't end well. The thing is it's not that these guys are overweight, much older or not very attractive; it's the simple fact that they are nasty and have a stank attitude. I can pick up on shaky vibes from a mile away, this sort of thing doesn't fly with me.
4 weeks ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
Congrats Matthew! You look amazing!
1 month ago on Matthew’s Weight Loss Journey: “I Was Living a Lie…”
@SirLoinDeBeef @oekmama Congrats on the weight loss SirLoin! I have begun to cook from scratch(stock, bread and 75% of my food) I have also become more diligent with portion control. My Aunt is a type 2 diabetic and she has no collagen left on her joints she is back on insulin and her weight is out of control. She was slim and athletic as a young woman but began to overeat as an emotional coping mechanism.
Her marriage was miserable and her husband and son were both completely unsupportive(son is now 41 has never held a job and has never paid any bills). This is why I am so passionate about black women's health and well-being. I have seen too many women in my family "weather the storm" at the expense of their own health.
1 month ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.
Sorry to hear this about your sister.
Remember, there is no expiration date stamped on us.
@oceanspray The entire lecture is basically Blackistan at its finest
1 month, 1 week ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.
There is so much wrong with this entire lecture that I can't even...
Women should not report a rapist because it might ruin his future? What the hell? Rapist need to be locked up, we don't need violent offenders roaming the streets. If said rapist doesn't want his life ruined then he should have thought about that before he decided to rape. This is why so many pedophiles and predators are never caught in the black community, it's swept under the rug because the girl was "fast" and it might ruin the pedophiles future. Such bullshit.
Women need to watch how they dress in order to avoid rape? Seriously? You can be wearing a burlap sack or covered from head to toe, a rapist doesn't care. Isn't it funny how black women are told to be more feminine and put more effort into their appearance, yet when they do so they are "sluts", begging for male attention, and therefore deserving of rape. You cannot win.
Mr. Lincoln is just a prime example of everything that is wrong with higher education, instead of telling young men to respect boundaries, and you know, not sexually assault women he is shifting the blame onto women. He is a prime example of an arrogant, self-centered, entitled asshole masquerading as an intellectual; the very type of asshole that is now so prolific on college campuses.
@Patricia Kayden Diito, if you don't want to ruin your life then don't commit crimes, end of story.