Whenever I have to mediate a situation, I try to make sure both parties feel some validation for where they are coming from (even if I utterly disagree), and then try to frame the conflict as a problem the parties need to work together on. Problems come and go; the people and their feelings though are there for the long haul.
As an older person with job and family, multiple 10 man raids are preferable due to greater scheduling flexibility. This pretty much trumps all other considerations for me, since it boils down to whether I can even play. :)
I think the stock ui still has a long way to go. I still can't track the duration of Beacon of Light without clicking on the target! It would go a long way if they would even incorporate some of the more basic features of vuhdo, or even Clique's functionality.