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@Jamila I am one to believe that there is someone out there for everyone, no matter how cheesy it sounds. Like in that men who are in jail thread, there are women willing to date men in jail for violent crimes. I don't see why the woman you described can't find a good guy. He may not be a super rich or super handsome or what this society pegs as a "perfect man" but I don't see why she can't find someone who is willing to accept her as she is and support her.
You described the man she wanted as "smart, tall, successful, well dressed and educated". Successful is a very relative term. There's tall guys everywhere lol. As well dressed and educated, well, there's lots of guy out there with bachelor's degrees who don't look like bums...I don't see how finding a guy like that would be so difficult. Depending on her age she might have to give some leeway for the looks department.
I have an aunt who is a former drug addict and has five kids by four different men. She cleaned up her life and managed to find herself a husband. He's not a typically handsome man and not a millionaire but he's a hardworking blue collar guy who has stable employment and was willing to accept my aunt and her kids. He was willing to take them all in as his own and provide for them. They all call him "Dad" (none of the kid's fathers are really involved in their lives) and my aunt had another daughter with him. And they're doing pretty nice for themselves. My aunt went back to school and became a nurse. They live in a pretty nice house and have two cars. Every time I wonder if I can find someone I remember her and think "if she can do it, so can I." By all means the odds were against my aunt for finding a good guy...but she did it anyway. But I can imagine it wasn't easy.
4 hours, 43 minutes ago on Paying It Forward: What Does BB&W Owe BWE?
@Bellatrix79 @DWB Yeah I honestly can't imagine any sensible black woman dating that shriveled peanut of a man...lol
21 hours, 26 minutes ago on Hot Out of the Oven, Another Off Topic Thread
Speaking of Bill Maher:
“People say I’m into black women. Robert De Niro is into black women. I’m just into women who are real, and they happen to be black.”
— Bill Maher
But has publicly dated any?
21 hours, 35 minutes ago on Hot Out of the Oven, Another Off Topic Thread
@kia if he had never been on that show, he most likely would have never gotten the exposure and be put in the situations needed to meet his current fiancée, ha! Without being a reality star he would be some regular dude and his likelihood of fathering a celebrity's child would have been close to nil. LOL so I guess that reality show is part of the reason he is where he is now in the first place.
2 days, 10 hours ago on Beware of Weight-Loss Haters! J-Hud's Fiancé Gripes that he Misses Her Being a Big'n.
@kia To be fair, I think those shows are fake. And I don't see how being a wrestler isn't a job. It's obviously not as prestigious as a lawyer but wrestlers are athletes who do work hard. And if he fails at wrestling he still has something to fall back on...
2 days, 20 hours ago on Beware of Weight-Loss Haters! J-Hud's Fiancé Gripes that he Misses Her Being a Big'n.
Nice to see a black woman on a magazine cover that isn't booty booty booty rockin everywhere. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
1 week ago on Well It's About Time! Kerry Washington Finally Lands the Cover of a Major Fashion Magazine
@kia Just because you don't hear about it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There's actually an entire documentary about how white men take Asian women as their exotic trophy wives. Can't remember the name but it came out recently.
1 week, 1 day ago on What Types of People Marry Interracially?
@onmywayup @toichennell But Gohan became a regular business man in a suit and glasses and gave up fighting in GT...LOL.
1 week, 2 days ago on What Types of People Marry Interracially?
@TiaPANJ And why is it assumed that we have to find people of our own race/ethnicity attractive. I don't recall their being a law that said so, and if there was, I'd gladly break it! I'm not saying black men are ugly or unappealing and they have plenty of women drooling over them already. They're not losing anything by losing one person not bowing down at their feet. Attraction is something that we can't control--it comes naturally. And like @kisumai said, tell that to all the black men saying dark skinned women are ugly, that women with natural hair are ugly....the list goes on.
@TiaPANJ I wouldn't find my own son attractive, if I had one, because that would be a liiiitle disturbing.
@kia I don't have any statistics, but I can imagine that in Asians countries this happens quite a lot. Being gay is still illegal in China, and in other countries, especially those that practice Islam, gays face violence and prosecution. I wouldn't be surprised if there are many men in those countries who are married to women but still carry out their gay lives secretly...But in their case they may be doing it for survival.
An interesting quote from an article I found: "Pant could have chosen to live as other gays do in Asia's conservative societies, hiding his sexuality behind a sham marriage while leading a dangerous double life."
1 week, 3 days ago on Gabourey Sidibe on Jason Collins:"Every Woman Has Dated a Gay Man At Least Once"
@kia "But all these black people can do is fuss about white people not knowing how to do black girl's hair"
Black people don't even know to do black girls' hair. That's why so many slap a relaxer on 2, 3, 4, years old's heads to to "tame'' it.
1 week, 4 days ago on 'Swirling of a Different Kind': Interracial Adoptions...How Do Those REALLY Work Out?
@thecrazyartist The same thing with those Columbine guys. I have no idea how I came across it but on tumblr I found a bunch of blogs of girls (all white) who were infatuated with them. *shudders* That's one dark corner of the Internet I shall never visit again...
1 week, 4 days ago on Why Not Give a Guy in Prison a Chance?
No. I understand everyone makes mistakes and anyone can make a change in their lives...but no. Unless you were wrongly accused, you did something unlawful to wind up there. I'm not trying to get involved in that. An overwhelming percentage of men who are released from prison wind right back in prison. I know there are lots of men who do straighten up and get their life together, but that's not something I would want to be involved with. That's not even something I would consider considering LOL.
I think lots of women get with these guys because they see the personality and not their actions...and that's fine, I guess. Whatever makes them happy. These women must have a very hard time finding men otherwise. I guess it's the "give a brother a chance" thing. It reminds me of Ted Bundy, who had many admirers and got marriage proposals...despite being a serial killer. Shows that no matter what men do, there will be women after them.
I have a cousin who's children's father (hate the term baby daddy ugh) is in jail. Mind you I found this all out through Facebook updates but she has two kids by him and he is in jail. His Facebook picture is of himself holding a bunch of cash surrounded by liquor bottles. She is 22. Why she is with this dude still is beyond me. She's in college and has a job and seems to be doing good with her life, but why bother with that trash? What I will never understand is why women who could get any acceptable successful man they want put up with trash. I know I wouldn't bother with that. It's a shame. Someone explain to me black women are putting up with this crap regularly? *shakes head*
1 week, 5 days ago on Why Not Give a Guy in Prison a Chance?
@KingsDaughter @Bookworm51485 *raises hand* I have no rhythm and I was raised around all black people...I can't/don't even dance.
1 week, 5 days ago on 'Swirling of a Different Kind': Interracial Adoptions...How Do Those REALLY Work Out?
There was a woman at my church who had many adopted children, and two were white. And this was a 99% black church, the other kids she adopted were black (but one I presume was either mixed, Hispanic or white, not sure which). All the kids seemed fine. How the woman was treated in public with three very fair children, one of which is blonde, I don't know. All I know is no one in the church treated them differently, and me being a kid I didn't see anything strange about it. I just saw a woman and her many kids. As long as the kids have a nice home where they are loved, I see no problem at all.
@AGharlem "Has anyone taken note of the fact that Real Housewives of Atlanta (ALL BLACK CAST) is the only one that celebrates black male cross-dressing and homosexuals? "
You obviously haven't seen Ru Paul's Drag Race, which is hosted by a black, GAY man who is a drag queen, and has many black gay contestants.
I don't see anything wrong with black gay men who cross dress...
2 weeks, 3 days ago on BET Heiress Marries a Rainbeau! Just Goes to Show Rich Folks Want Ratchet For Eveyone Else EXCEPT Their Own.
@Toni_M @Dandelion100 I agree wit this and pretty much everything Jamila said. There was that whole controversy when they opened a store in Korea and the models took pictures making their eyes slanty in a "joking matter." The funny thing is I see a lot of black and Hispanic people wearing Abercrombie lol.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Fresh Off Topic Thread, and Another Announcement! | Beyond Black & White
This may be off topic but in your other post about Asian mothers objecting to black wives/girlfriends, you said that you don't advocate black women to get into relationships with Asian men because of the objection they would get from their (Asian men) families. But as you can see from this post and your experiences, black women will get objection from random strangers, society, family members, etc, from being with white men. Of course, the same scrutiny will happen with Asian men as well. But why is it that you don't think black women shouldn't pursue relationships with Asian men because of possible rejection from the family, when by being with white men black women have to deal with the same crap anyway? Just saying...
Anyway, I have noticed that this doesn't really happen with (non white looking) Hispanic men. I have dated a few myself and I can't say I got random black guys shouting things at me or the same scrutiny black women get with white men. I'm sure there are people who stared or look twice but no random black guys were shouting rude comments at me. It seems to me that Hispanic men tend to get a "free pass" so to speak. I wonder why that is? Why is it "ok" to date Hispanic guys? Is there some sort of unsaid agreement or something?
And also someone else further down in the comments was saying how they live in NY and face a lot scrutiny when she goes out with her white boyfriend. I have seen plenty of that myself. You would think that because NY is a big and diverse city that people would be more open minded. That is not the case. I went to a 99.9% black high school in NY and there was a black girl that dated on of the handful of white guys that went there. You would have though the world ended. Those two faced so much crap from that entire school it was ridiculous.
Also, off topic again but I noticed that there aren't really a lot of articles on here about black women dating Hispanic men either. I personally have lost all interest in Hispanic men but there can be challenges there as well. There is still the clash of cultures since Hispanic cultures (be they Mexican, Puerto Rican, whatever) are indeed different, and yes, a lot of Hispanics are racist against black people, though some just won't say it your face. But I have seen plenty of racism towards blacks from Hispanics (Mexican in my experience). I guess because this site is called Beyond Black and White that is really only focuses on Black women and white men? lol
2 weeks, 4 days ago on What the Cuss?! "Once You Go Brown, You Get The Crown," Says Random Black Dude...