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Places I've been approached by men over the years: standing in line at the post office; in a bookstore; at the grocery store (a LOT! That's a GREAT place!); on a train; in a coffee shop; shopping at a mall; waiting for a bus; on an airplane; at a business mixer; at a charity event; at a social gathering where I only knew the host/hostess. My point is that almost anywhere a man may approach you. If you see one who seems appealing, give him a sly smile and a come hither look. Unless he's blind, deaf and dumb (or attached) he won't be able to resist the invitation. Once he comes over to get a closer look, start with a little pleasant, flirtatious banter. See where it goes. It's easy once you get the hang of it.

2 days, 6 hours ago on AAWG, ‘Savage Tango’ “Getting him to do more than smile.”

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@DWB @MixedUpInVegas

I have little doubt that you already are.

4 days, 9 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?

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Dang! I am so out of the loop! You young people know everything that goes on. I only marathon watch series that I missed in Roku! If I and when this one comes on, I'll put it on my watch list.

5 days ago on Is Anyone Watching Halle Berry in Extant?

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One of the happiest things my ( now adult) daughter ever said to me was, during fall break from college, that we were a "happy little family." Her father, my late husband, practiced intimidation therapy on any young man she brought home. No boy was allowed to take her out if he had not been a guest in our home previously, whether it was for dinner or to watch a movie or spend the afternoon swimming with other friends. The young man HAD to meet her father. Dad would grouse at them and make it clear that if she was late coming home, it was on the boy's head. She was never late. He waited up for her.

No young Black men ever came to ask her out. There were a few who were in her group of friends who came to swim or watch movies, but none ever approached her for a date. Only White boys ever asked, which is kinda how my life went. No Black men ever asked; I went on dates with one or two, but they never asked for a second date. Strange, huh? In any event, I credit her father, by his example as a man, husband and father, with keeping riffraff of any shade away from her. We never told her to pick an ethnicity. She got the message anyway and married a fine young man to whom she is still happily ( from all appearances) married. Her father never thought he was good enough for her. I thought he was a fine man. My hope is that her father now knows, in his spot in heaven, that he was too quick to judge him inadequate for her.

5 days ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?

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By the way, I get so pissed off when I see tomato hornworms or cabbage loopers eating my stuff, it is somewhat satisfying to grab those little boogers (in a gloved hand, of course) and squish the hell out of them.  Or, throw them on the ground and hit them with the world's oldest pesticide--the bottom of your shoe!

6 days, 2 hours ago on How Caterpillars are Like Your Crazy Uncle Larry and Other Tips I’ve Learned to Deal with Pests

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Aphids and powdery mildew tend to be seasonal problems.  Aphids don't like it when it gets too hot--hence, in the Mojave desert, they are a late winter and early spring problem.  The heat of summder, which is just awful, dtives them away.  I can see how they might be a problem for other urban farmers when the night time temps drop.  It gives them a foothold.  Insecticidal soap is your friend.  Spray it in the late afternoon.  Sun shining on the freshly-applied spray is disastrous.  Go out and do it after you get home from work.  By morning, it will be settled in and less likely to burn your plants.

6 days, 2 hours ago on How Caterpillars are Like Your Crazy Uncle Larry and Other Tips I’ve Learned to Deal with Pests

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Powdery mildew tends to be a seasonal problem as well.  With our humidity around 4% or less most days in the summer, it is only an issue when the night temps get cooler.  If your plants are crowded, that can be an issue as well.  For the most part I ignore it--by the time it gets my squash, roses and cukes, I'm pulling up the veggies to plant my winter crops--like about now.  As for the roses, well . . . let's just say I'm not as committed to organic growing for ornamental plants as I am to food crops.

When you water can help deter powdery mildew somewhat.  Don't water after 2 PM; Don't use overhead watering--keep the leaves dry; Don't overcrowd your plants.  I've heard of the baking soda thing, but never tried it myself.  But, since it is so natural, how bad could it be?

Happy gardening!

6 days, 2 hours ago on How Caterpillars are Like Your Crazy Uncle Larry and Other Tips I’ve Learned to Deal with Pests

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Amen, Miss Brenda. Just because you are Black doesn't mean you are heavily invested in the "Black culture" thing. I am an American citizen, a woman and I'm working at my business and meeting all the obligations of citizenship. It rarely occurs to me that I am any different than my white, Hispanic or Asian neighbors. Beloved Spouse and I are happily going about our lives unaware of the fact that we are "different." If I don't identify with the looters and criminals who shoot each other on a daily basis, well, I hope that doesn't make someone exterior to my life feel some kind of way.

Just because a man loves you and wants to commit to you, does that mean he has to take on "the struggle?" That's a lot to ask of someone who wants no part of racism, prejudice and discrimination. Believe it or not, there are a lot of white people who are totally disinterested in this stuff and consider it an embarrassment to their own race. Please don't ask them to jump into the fray when they just want to live with you in love and peace. If you want to be a Sistah Soljah, don't be surprised if that interferes with a harmonious irr relationship.

1 week, 5 days ago on (Bonus) QOTW: “How Can I Talk About My Culture with My White Boyfriend?”

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Lookit, since Black men never paid much attention to me ( I could never pass the paper bag test) and I grew up in Europe, none of the men I dated or married knew anything worth mentioning about Black culture. But honestly, I really didn't either. We never lived in a situation where Black culture was a major blip on the radar. Consequently, it didn't seem odd to me that the men I dated or married were clueless. I wasn't invested in the Black culture thing, nor did my parents encourage it.

Fast forward to Late Husband. He was raised on a hog farm in South Dakota. He'd never ever seen a black person until he went into the service. He had no feelings one way or the other and simply assumed they were his fellow soldiers. When the '60's came along, he was shocked and dismayed. None of this had anything to do with him and he wanted no part of it. We fell in love and were happily married until he passed away.

Fast forward some more to Beloved Spouse. He went to a private military academy until he finished high school. His family held no prejudices (they lived near the Bay Area in CA) and he wanted no part of the nasty business of prejudice. He didn't seem to think my ethnicity was as important as our love for one another.

My point here is that some people don't have a dog in this fight. They are unilaterally for equal everything. They have no prejudices and don't want to be lumped in with those who act a fool over race. Frankly, I don't blame them. Just as I don't want anyone to assume anything about me because I am a Black woman, I can understand if they feel the same way.

What, exactly, is your husband/SO supposed To do/say/believe? If everyone us on board (him, his family ect.) then isn't that enough? Why should something that happens outside your relationship require him to put the offenders on blast to you? If you are on the same page and happy, what else do you need?

Give the man a break. If he wants nothing to do with racial strife and is a loving and sensitive partner to you , what else is necessary for you?

1 week, 5 days ago on (Bonus) QOTW: “How Can I Talk About My Culture with My White Boyfriend?”

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::::SLURP!  OOGLE!!  GASP!::::


I love art!

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Man Candy Monday: Arabesque, Allongé! The Beauty of Ballet

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:::wiping eyes from laffin' so hard:::

Chris, you really outdid yourself there, girl. In fact, you outdid In Living Color and SNL! You have a future in comedy.

Hope that won't be your last skit. That was PRICELESS!

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Video: Sh$t Black People Say to Black Women to Keep Them Stuck in the Matrix

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Tony, I met Beloved Spouse on an age-specific dating site, which is to say for people over 50. When I first signed up I was besieged by younger men. Don't have to tell you that they weren't what I was looking for. Made the awful, awful mistake of dating a couple of them--most boring and awkward thing I ever had to live through, although one of them fixed my computer, so there's that. Even the men my own age were damaged divorced men who had an axe to grind. Being a widow from a long, happy marriage, I dispensed with them very quickly. I had no anger issues and didn't want to deal with theirs.

I decided to be proactive and sent a wink to a few men who hadn't contacted me first but seemed interesting. One of those men turned out to be my now Beloved Spouse. He responded immediately and we wrote back and forth for a few days. After exchanging phone numbers and a few phone conversations we met for drinks. . . Which ended up having dinner . . . After which, we saw each other every day for 6 months. We then became engaged, and 6 months later we were married in front of our (adult) children and family. That was over 9 years ago.

The point of my story is that while I don't know diddly about Tinder, I met a rare creature through a dating site: a nice man who wanted to be married. For that I am eternally grateful.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on BB&W Writer Joins Tinder…Check Out the Results

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Awwww! How cute is that??  They look like they are having a great time together.  Congrats on finding each other you two.  Hope you will share more fun times together in the future!

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Two BB&W Fans Sitting in a Tree…Real Life Meeting on Two Regulars. Sparks?

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Law, you devil, I believe you summed up at least some of the issues here. When my (now) 41-year-old) daughter married her Georgetown law school-graduate husband, my brother commented to me that he found her "exotic." That mat be true, but 14 years later they are still married and apparently happy as two pigs in slop. Go figure.

When Late Husband married me he said " you're different; loyal, loving and committed to the success of our partnership." Yes, I think the sex/ exoticism thing was part of it, but so what? Sexual attraction us what it is and if it helps support the intimacy of the marriage, well . . . Then it does. How is that a bad thing if the union happily endures?

Beloved Spouse came along when even asking or being concerned about ethnicity had long since passed, at least in his mind. We connected and fell in love because we were compatible. The issue of race only came up when I asked him about it. He said " Uh, what? Ok, we're good"

So my sisters, the bottom line is, if you are a rare and desirable jewel, please accept ! The issues may very we'll be on your mind but not his.

3 weeks ago on As Millennials Support Dating Out, the Black Community ups the “Fetish” Rhetoric

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I make my own compost, since I have such a large garden as well as fruit trees, rose bushes and assorted perennials. The kitchen scraps, leaves and plant trimmings go in there, obviously, but I also use my chipper/shredder to shred rose canes, grape vines, tree prunings and other woody garden waste and add that to my compost. Consequently I have a LOT of compost. Most of it gets tilled into the veggie beds twice a year, but it is also good for top dressing existing flower beds. If you use a fine screen you can screen it for starting seeds and refreshing the soil in potted plants with good success.

3 weeks ago on The Secret to Growing HUGE Produce in an Organic Garden

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Dang, that made me tear up, too!  How touching and sweet!  May they love and be happy together for a lifetime.

3 weeks ago on Video: BB&W Fan Get Married, Serenades Groom; Bring Him to Tears

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@Maxine @MixedUpInVegas 

Girl, you ain't never lied!

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Could You Be a Vegetarian Until Dinnertime?

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That was supposed to be tummy. Thanks, iPod

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Could You Be a Vegetarian Until Dinnertime?

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I know this will sound completely crazy. Since we live in the Mojave Desert, I get up about 5:30 or so to do my little gardening stuff very early ( all my veggies are in the ground and not in pots.). While I am pulling weeds, feeding or giving extra water to specific plants, I often grab some--strawberries, cherry tomatoes and such-- and munch on them while I work. Other times, I eat carrots, broccoli, sugar snap peas and humus for breakfast. The hummus keeps your gummy quiet. It has helped me to eat more veggies.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Could You Be a Vegetarian Until Dinnertime?

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@tonyrog @MixedUpInVegas 

:::AHEM::: Only in the strictly Constitutional sense . . . . .

3 weeks, 5 days ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: From Hair to There

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Ok, you men just get carried away! And tonyrog, I dunno if you are a bad influence on SirLoin or if it is the other way around!!!

3 weeks, 5 days ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: From Hair to There

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A mother also has to be brave and have the strength of her convictions when there is criticism from others regarding her choice to educate her daughter about her body.  I faced plenty of it from my mother and others when I chose to take my daughter to a carefully selected female gynecologist in her middle teens.  I met with the doctor and told her what I wanted for my daughter and signed a release to allow her to treat her as needed.  I thought that what she might not want to discuss with me she could discuss with her doctor without fear of being ratted out.  I explained to my daughter that I wanted her to learn how to care for heself as a grown woman would and that adjusting to an appropriate ongoing birth control method is part of that.  Even Late Husband questioned me about that decision, but once I explained it to him, he understood.  Ignore others and do what you know is in your daughters' best interests.  Take the lead and direct your daughters in the right direction.  Teach them what they need to know to protect themselves and their feminine health.  If you don't do it, who will?

3 weeks, 5 days ago on New Documentary Decrying 72% Out-of-Wedlock Rate…Love the Content But…

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We women--mothers especially--can do something about this.  It is our responsibility to teach our girls to be women, and part of that is teaching them how adult women take care of themselves.  Girls should learn and understand early that a woman has to control her fertility in order to have control of her life.  It is not sinful to teach your daughter how to control her body and introduce her to seeing a gynecologist annually.  It should be a habit to get a Pap Smear annually and renew her birth control.  We should be teaching our daughters that there are only a few times in life when we will want to be fertile and open to bringing a child into the world; the rest of the time, it must be controlled so that a woman can go about her life, education, self-development and career building without the threat of a life-altering pregnancy disrupting her plans.  This isn't giving your daughters license to be promiscuous--it is, instead, giving them motherly information that will help them care for themselves as women, which is our duty.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on New Documentary Decrying 72% Out-of-Wedlock Rate…Love the Content But…

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I hardly know what to say to this young woman.  An unplanned pregnancy is almost always disastrous for a young, unmarried woman.  It is disastrous because the stakes are so high; the lives and futures of the children involved, who will need years of nurturing and financial support, education and appropriate living circumstances are hanging in the balance.  The life, education and career opportunities of the single mother are all almost always interrupted at just the wrong moment in her life.  The father, who certainly shares responsibility in the matter, is also impacted, whether he chooses to participate or not.  The larger family of both the young parents will also be affected, not usually for the better, as they are often expected to pick up the slack financially, emotionally and physically for the upbringing of these children.  It is easy to see why this is disastrous.

Focusing on your desire for love, whether with this man or anyone else is entirely inapropriate at this point in time.  This is no longer about you.  The wellbeing and future of the children have to come first.  If you can make a decision that will ensure a loving, secure and supportive future for them, you will have done what every mother should do.

1 month ago on #NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.

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@Law Wanxi 

Awww, Law, you're taking most of the fun out of it. Making your own beansprouts is so easy and so well known that it is hardly worth mentioning.

1 month ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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Oh my! What an incredibly handsome couple. May they enjoy the love, loyalty and peaceful contentment of true love for the rest of their lives! Love conquers all!

1 month, 1 week ago on Love It! Couple I Interviewed for Loving Day 2014 Tied the Knot!!

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As an American citizen, I object to deadly force being used on a small-time crime. The last I heard, selling untaxed cigarettes on a small scale was not a capital offense. The use of force was clearly overdone in that this man died. That outcome is entirely disproportionate to the crime. We hold the police to a higher standard of conduct because they hold the power of deadly force; it should not be taken lightly by the public at large or the police force.

Was a petty crime worth this man's life? Was this the best and only way to handle this situation? Was this an over zealous use of force? I say it was. Frankly, the state stands to lose far more in a wrongful death lawsuit than it gained by apprehending and killing a petty criminal. The police not only killed a man over a small criminal matter, they stand to cost the taxpayers far more in the undoubtedly ensuing lawsuit. So who "wins?"

Smart move, Officer Friendly.

1 month, 1 week ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

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Had I not seen it on you (I think we are about the same shade of brown skin) I NEVER would have thought to try a hot pink.  Always figured I was too dark.  But it worked out really well for you, so I just might have to give it a try.

1 month, 1 week ago on OMG Pink for Dark Girls…Yay Mineral Fusion!

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Chicago404 has it right: is THIS the only kind of entertainment that can have a black cast?  Something that perpetuates, even glorifies, the perception of Black Americans as thugs, hoodlums, dangerous and violet criminals?  I object to that even more than the colorist casting call.  And why would any reputable Black actor be willing to participate in this denigration of their own race?  Is a buck that precious that it doesn't matter who you coon to get it?  So much for Black Pride . . . .

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER

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@bellechose 

My dear belle, all I can say is that I agree with you.  As to the usual ploy to demanding stats for any statement or opinion one expresses, I can say that I have two--my two eyes, that can read the paper, the online news and also look around me and see what is happening.  If that isn't good enough for someone who wants to argue with my opinion, oh well.  It doesn't make it less true.  I'm not a statistician, nor do I want to be.  That doesn't make my opinion less valid.  Oh,  and I don't do research for free to satisfy someone I don't even know who has an issue with my opinion. 

 Go get your own stats.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Unspeakable! New Jersey Reporter Fired for Telling the DAMN TRUTH!

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I think if I hear another word about the discredited, vile and long-ago abolished issue of slavery, I will run screamaing down the middle of the Las Vegas Strip.  Neither of my husbands families had even emigrated to the United States until around the turn of the 20th century.  I can completely understand how they resent being lumped in with long-dead slaveholders simply because they are white.  To hold them accountable for something they had no part in solely because of their skin color unfair, unjust and racist.

We need to get over this slavery thing.  Many American Blacks here today were never slaves, either.  Give it a fuck!ng rest, already!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

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My dear sisters, we are all Black.  Anyone can look at us and see that we are Black.  How much more do we have to sacrifice at the altar of Blackness?  Why do we have to see ourselves as being so different from our fellow American citizens?  What, exactly, does that get us? It doesn't make us better or worse or impact on our basic human nature in any way except in our own minds.  What it does do is encourage us to THINK that we are somehow not the same as other women in our society, which is not only incorrect, but isn't helping us personally.

I understand how the author of this letter feels, but she is putting too much of her personal identity and faith in a community that she now recognizes doesn't give a rat's ass about her, her future or her problems.  Just because she is Black does not make her different--she is the same as any other woman in America today.  We, my sisters, are as good as any other American woman, and we share the same concerns as other women.  Focus on yourself as an American citizen and a woman who happens to be Black.  Stop thinking of yourself as being apart from mainstream America--NEWS FLASH:  YOU ARE NOT AS DIFFERENT AS YOU THINK!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

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@Brenda55 @MixedUpInVegas 

Brenda, I'm too lazy to dehydrate my produce, but I do freeze some of it for winter, especially peaches.  Nice to have a peach pie in the dead of winter.  Chopped bell peppers freeze up nicely, too.

Starting to plan my fall/winter garden.  I usually grow several kinds of peas, leeks, onions, garlic, all kinds of lettuce, spinach and broccoli and brussels sprouts.  Want to put in some radiccio, too--good in salads.  I planted arugula last winter, but Beloved Spouse didn't like it much so I probably won't waste garden space on it this year.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden,” Sweet Peppers (Container Friendly)

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I like to try different varieties, at least one new one every season, to grow along with the usual bell peppers and jalepeno.  This year I planted "orangecicle" from Parks Seed.  Very pretty orange, long and mild.  It is a banana pepper-type.  Takes a while to color up orange, but I think that has to do with the intensse uv rays in the Mojave.  Looks nice in a salad or stirfry. 

Along with my usual "Heat Wave", "Roma" and "Sweet 100" tomatoes, I tried a variety called "Hawaii" that was supposed to be a good producer in high heat.  Girl, I got this HUGE vine, bigger than all the others, and ain't seen nary a tomato.  Can't recommend it and won't grow it again.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden,” Sweet Peppers (Container Friendly)

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@Swirlgirl28 @MixedUpInVegas  OK, Swirlie, you got me.  But, consider a couple of extenuating circumstances: (1) he is damned easy on the eyes and (2) her biological clock was ticking, and (3) he mighta had it goin' on in bed.  Some ongoing great sex can play with a woman's mind just like it can with a man.  I'm not offering excuses, but more like explanations for an otherwise  unexplainable choice.


I'd also like to mention in passing that I have never seen the show, and never heard of her before.  Or him either, for that matter.  The only TV I watch is on Roku, and it doesn't include TV shows.


So, yeah, she messed up, but if everyone's screw-ups were on national TV, probably none of us would feel real good about it.  I still feel like she was victimized, even if she let him do it.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on RHOA Demonstrates How Some Black Women Waste Their Potential on Shifty Men

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In our dotage, Beloved Spouse and I have not had even ONE instance of any such thing.  Times, and people, have changed.  I know it isn't entirely unproblematic.  I still have people comment on my "tan" meaning it as a "compliment.". I give them a fake smile and simply say it is my natural color. 


The point is, we are still in the vanguard.  We can carry ourselves with grace and dignity, or we can be predictably touchy and noisy about it.  Embarrass them with condescending politeness.  It almost always works.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on That Awkward Moment When Numbskulls Assume Your Biracial Baby Isn’t Yours…

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Let me relate a very old story. When I married Late Husband, nearly 45 years ago, white men simply didn't marry outside their race; it just wasn't done. I remember the dazed looks from his law partners and family friends at our wedding.  We ignored them.


Fast forward 5 years: we were grocery shopping together with our toddler daughter.  At the cash register, she said " Daddy can I have some candy?". The grocery clerk blurted out "THAT'S your FATHER??". Daughter started crying.  Late Husband, in a rage sought out the store manager and made an issue of it. 


As time went by, he found a better  way.  He would simply introduce our child as his daughter in advance of stupid questions and comments.  He would say it with a smile.  He was 6'2" and 250 lb.  People should smile back and say how cute she was--nervously.  He was a gentle giant who also didn't suffer fools--he simply made it clear that there would be consequences for ANY disrespect or foolishness.  While we had any number of instances of ignorance, tactlessness or just downright stupidity, he would simply stand up, look them in the eye with an intimidating smile and say " allow me to introduce you to my wife and/or daughter. Any business with them will be taken care of by me.". It never went any farther, and was often followed with an "oh, excuse me, sir.  My mistake.  No offense intended."

1 month, 3 weeks ago on That Awkward Moment When Numbskulls Assume Your Biracial Baby Isn’t Yours…

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@Law Wanxi 

"Please write more stuff"


I second that, Law!

1 month, 3 weeks ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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Why won't my tablet let me write s p a r i t y instead of spirits?????

1 month, 3 weeks ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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So much impact, so much truth in so few words.  Everything you write, Zac, distills something meaningful and important in such a small space.  Your spirits is your strength. I applaud you.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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Not that it matters, but I think we're blaming Phaedra a little unfairly.  Look, who among us has not fallen for a guy who was just soooo wrong for us, and, in spite of warning signs and input from those who knew and loved us we went ahead and got our "Romeo and Juliet" fantasy on and jumped in with the deadbeat/loser/jerk/liar/a$$hole anyway?  I'm certainly guilty of having done the same in my flaming youth. It was by the grace of God that nothing worse than a broken heart and incredible embarrassment resulted from my poor decision-making. All this happened long ago, but I remember how charming, he was how handsome he was, how engaging he was and what a great f . . . but I digress.


Look, she was older and more educated, but who knows how mature her heart was?  She obviously thought she could change him into the man she wanted rather than recognizing him for the man (and I use the term loosely) he truly was.  We women do that all the time: take the man who presents himself and try to make him into the man we want.  IT NEVER WORKS!  He is who he is.  In marriage, what you see is what you get, take it or leave it.  He won't be anything other than that no matter how you try or what you do. 


I kinda feel sorry for her.  Her humiliation played out on a public stage; mine was limited to my family and friends.  I believe that while part of the fault is hers, part of it is his, too.  He fully intended to play false with her, and her love/sexual attraction/willful blindness played right into his hands. Let's not overlook the fact that he is a sociopath and that she was, to some degree, his victim. She has suffered media-wide humiliation at his hands.  He had a choice to do better, but chose to sacrifice his family on the alter of his ego.


I choose to pity her.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on RHOA Demonstrates How Some Black Women Waste Their Potential on Shifty Men

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@Gijou @MixedUpInVegas @SirLoinDeBeef 

My dear Ms. Gijou, for some reason, I don't think it is all that tough a job for you.  Just doin' what comes naturally, right?

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@SirLoinDeBeef 

Young Miss BW needs to refrain from confirming the stereotype of the prickly, argumentative BW and Mr. WM needs to get off the defensive.  If I were him I'd have begged off any further conversation after the first rebuke.  They would both have saved a lot of time.

We as BW need to embrace our femininity first and our race somewhere further down the line.  As others have pointed out, this is a natural male/female thing, not a racial thing.  A man seeks you out because you are a woman he believes attractive, not because you are black.  That is a secondary consideration.  See each other for what you are, a man and a woman interested in knowing one another better.  The dance of the genders is no place to play Sistah Soldier.

Now, excuse me while I go touch up my gray roots.  I got a hot date with my handsome husband tonight!

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@SirLoinDeBeef 

" . . . But, let's hear from the 40-, 50- and even 60-something crowd."

Uhhh, "even 60-something?" Mr. SirLoin, sir, today is my 65th birthday, and I'll have you know that we are no slouches in the romance/sensuality/wanting a partner group.  And let's not even talk about Beloved Spouse, who is 10 years older and can do the do fit to beat the band! (you know I'm funnin' ya, right??)

As to this letter business all I can say is :::Face Palm:::  What is so hard about relating to one another as human beings, a human male and a human female??  After all, that is what this is really about.  This is about a man looking for a woman for all the same reasons that men have looked for women since the beginning of time.  It ain't that complicated unless you make it that way. 

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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Hey Christelyn, is the white eggplant different in flavor than the trraditional purple?  I have a ton of eggplant this year, but have never grown the white.  Might put it on my to do list next year if it is better.

Good suggestion from my favorite recipe site, Miss Brenda.  There are a million ways to make eggplant, anyone who hasn't had good experiences with it may just not have tried the right way yet.  We love it--way good!

Here's another good one:

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/baked-eggplant-with-mushroom-and-tomato-sauce-10000000222191/

1 month, 3 weeks ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden”…Eggplant

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Interestingly enough, when I explained to my now Beloved spouse that I was not white he said "yes I know". In all other conversations he has said so what? He doesn't want to talk about it, saying you are a beautiful woman and I am your lucky man. Might be dodging the issue, but how can I complain?

1 month, 4 weeks ago on Open Thread: “How Do I Explain My Preference for Black Women without Sounding Like a Douche?”

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@FriendsofJay @sparel 

I think a more realistic phrase would have been "to become part of the greater American community" which is comprised of the many diverse people who are contributing American citizens and not criminals. I think most of us, particularly in the western US, look around our communities every day and see all kinds of people who work hard, pay their taxes, raise their kids and run small businesses who are not white.  No disrespect intended to the white community, since I am married to a WM, but the standards for success are not exclusive to the white community.  Anyone can be a success without being white.

1 month, 4 weeks ago on One Black Mother’s Heartbreaking Story of Raising Her Son Amongst a Nest of Miscreants Intent on His Ruination

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@NaturalLynnMcGruder 

Please don't take this as disrespecting your post, Miss Lynn, but sometimes I think if I hear the "but not ALL Black men/women/people do (insert offensive behavior here) . . . . " I am going to rip out what hair I have left and go running screaming down the street.  Dear Miss Lynn, can't you see how (1) tiresome and threadbare that excuse is and (2) no one said All Black People do anything, offensive or otherwise.  All that Breukelen Bleu is trying to do is to tell her truth and how it has impacted her life and that of her son.  Please try to find more in her story than excuses to deflect responsibility from the very people who have hurt and abused her family.  She isn't the one generalizing, but it seems to me that you are.

1 month, 4 weeks ago on One Black Mother’s Heartbreaking Story of Raising Her Son Amongst a Nest of Miscreants Intent on His Ruination

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