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@Law Wanxi 

Awww, Law, you're taking most of the fun out of it. Making your own beansprouts is so easy and so well known that it is hardly worth mentioning.

21 hours, 46 minutes ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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Oh my! What an incredibly handsome couple. May they enjoy the love, loyalty and peaceful contentment of true love for the rest of their lives! Love conquers all!

6 days, 22 hours ago on Love It! Couple I Interviewed for Loving Day 2014 Tied the Knot!!

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As an American citizen, I object to deadly force being used on a small-time crime. The last I heard, selling untaxed cigarettes on a small scale was not a capital offense. The use of force was clearly overdone in that this man died. That outcome is entirely disproportionate to the crime. We hold the police to a higher standard of conduct because they hold the power of deadly force; it should not be taken lightly by the public at large or the police force.

Was a petty crime worth this man's life? Was this the best and only way to handle this situation? Was this an over zealous use of force? I say it was. Frankly, the state stands to lose far more in a wrongful death lawsuit than it gained by apprehending and killing a petty criminal. The police not only killed a man over a small criminal matter, they stand to cost the taxpayers far more in the undoubtedly ensuing lawsuit. So who "wins?"

Smart move, Officer Friendly.

6 days, 22 hours ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

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Had I not seen it on you (I think we are about the same shade of brown skin) I NEVER would have thought to try a hot pink.  Always figured I was too dark.  But it worked out really well for you, so I just might have to give it a try.

1 week ago on OMG Pink for Dark Girls…Yay Mineral Fusion!

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Chicago404 has it right: is THIS the only kind of entertainment that can have a black cast?  Something that perpetuates, even glorifies, the perception of Black Americans as thugs, hoodlums, dangerous and violet criminals?  I object to that even more than the colorist casting call.  And why would any reputable Black actor be willing to participate in this denigration of their own race?  Is a buck that precious that it doesn't matter who you coon to get it?  So much for Black Pride . . . .

1 week, 3 days ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER

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@bellechose 

My dear belle, all I can say is that I agree with you.  As to the usual ploy to demanding stats for any statement or opinion one expresses, I can say that I have two--my two eyes, that can read the paper, the online news and also look around me and see what is happening.  If that isn't good enough for someone who wants to argue with my opinion, oh well.  It doesn't make it less true.  I'm not a statistician, nor do I want to be.  That doesn't make my opinion less valid.  Oh,  and I don't do research for free to satisfy someone I don't even know who has an issue with my opinion. 

 Go get your own stats.

1 week, 3 days ago on Unspeakable! New Jersey Reporter Fired for Telling the DAMN TRUTH!

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I think if I hear another word about the discredited, vile and long-ago abolished issue of slavery, I will run screamaing down the middle of the Las Vegas Strip.  Neither of my husbands families had even emigrated to the United States until around the turn of the 20th century.  I can completely understand how they resent being lumped in with long-dead slaveholders simply because they are white.  To hold them accountable for something they had no part in solely because of their skin color unfair, unjust and racist.

We need to get over this slavery thing.  Many American Blacks here today were never slaves, either.  Give it a fuck!ng rest, already!

1 week, 6 days ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

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My dear sisters, we are all Black.  Anyone can look at us and see that we are Black.  How much more do we have to sacrifice at the altar of Blackness?  Why do we have to see ourselves as being so different from our fellow American citizens?  What, exactly, does that get us? It doesn't make us better or worse or impact on our basic human nature in any way except in our own minds.  What it does do is encourage us to THINK that we are somehow not the same as other women in our society, which is not only incorrect, but isn't helping us personally.

I understand how the author of this letter feels, but she is putting too much of her personal identity and faith in a community that she now recognizes doesn't give a rat's ass about her, her future or her problems.  Just because she is Black does not make her different--she is the same as any other woman in America today.  We, my sisters, are as good as any other American woman, and we share the same concerns as other women.  Focus on yourself as an American citizen and a woman who happens to be Black.  Stop thinking of yourself as being apart from mainstream America--NEWS FLASH:  YOU ARE NOT AS DIFFERENT AS YOU THINK!

1 week, 6 days ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

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@Brenda55 @MixedUpInVegas 

Brenda, I'm too lazy to dehydrate my produce, but I do freeze some of it for winter, especially peaches.  Nice to have a peach pie in the dead of winter.  Chopped bell peppers freeze up nicely, too.

Starting to plan my fall/winter garden.  I usually grow several kinds of peas, leeks, onions, garlic, all kinds of lettuce, spinach and broccoli and brussels sprouts.  Want to put in some radiccio, too--good in salads.  I planted arugula last winter, but Beloved Spouse didn't like it much so I probably won't waste garden space on it this year.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden,” Sweet Peppers (Container Friendly)

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I like to try different varieties, at least one new one every season, to grow along with the usual bell peppers and jalepeno.  This year I planted "orangecicle" from Parks Seed.  Very pretty orange, long and mild.  It is a banana pepper-type.  Takes a while to color up orange, but I think that has to do with the intensse uv rays in the Mojave.  Looks nice in a salad or stirfry. 

Along with my usual "Heat Wave", "Roma" and "Sweet 100" tomatoes, I tried a variety called "Hawaii" that was supposed to be a good producer in high heat.  Girl, I got this HUGE vine, bigger than all the others, and ain't seen nary a tomato.  Can't recommend it and won't grow it again.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden,” Sweet Peppers (Container Friendly)

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@Swirlgirl28 @MixedUpInVegas  OK, Swirlie, you got me.  But, consider a couple of extenuating circumstances: (1) he is damned easy on the eyes and (2) her biological clock was ticking, and (3) he mighta had it goin' on in bed.  Some ongoing great sex can play with a woman's mind just like it can with a man.  I'm not offering excuses, but more like explanations for an otherwise  unexplainable choice.


I'd also like to mention in passing that I have never seen the show, and never heard of her before.  Or him either, for that matter.  The only TV I watch is on Roku, and it doesn't include TV shows.


So, yeah, she messed up, but if everyone's screw-ups were on national TV, probably none of us would feel real good about it.  I still feel like she was victimized, even if she let him do it.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on RHOA Demonstrates How Some Black Women Waste Their Potential on Shifty Men

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In our dotage, Beloved Spouse and I have not had even ONE instance of any such thing.  Times, and people, have changed.  I know it isn't entirely unproblematic.  I still have people comment on my "tan" meaning it as a "compliment.". I give them a fake smile and simply say it is my natural color. 


The point is, we are still in the vanguard.  We can carry ourselves with grace and dignity, or we can be predictably touchy and noisy about it.  Embarrass them with condescending politeness.  It almost always works.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on That Awkward Moment When Numbskulls Assume Your Biracial Baby Isn’t Yours…

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Let me relate a very old story. When I married Late Husband, nearly 45 years ago, white men simply didn't marry outside their race; it just wasn't done. I remember the dazed looks from his law partners and family friends at our wedding.  We ignored them.


Fast forward 5 years: we were grocery shopping together with our toddler daughter.  At the cash register, she said " Daddy can I have some candy?". The grocery clerk blurted out "THAT'S your FATHER??". Daughter started crying.  Late Husband, in a rage sought out the store manager and made an issue of it. 


As time went by, he found a better  way.  He would simply introduce our child as his daughter in advance of stupid questions and comments.  He would say it with a smile.  He was 6'2" and 250 lb.  People should smile back and say how cute she was--nervously.  He was a gentle giant who also didn't suffer fools--he simply made it clear that there would be consequences for ANY disrespect or foolishness.  While we had any number of instances of ignorance, tactlessness or just downright stupidity, he would simply stand up, look them in the eye with an intimidating smile and say " allow me to introduce you to my wife and/or daughter. Any business with them will be taken care of by me.". It never went any farther, and was often followed with an "oh, excuse me, sir.  My mistake.  No offense intended."

2 weeks, 5 days ago on That Awkward Moment When Numbskulls Assume Your Biracial Baby Isn’t Yours…

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@Law Wanxi 

"Please write more stuff"


I second that, Law!

2 weeks, 5 days ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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Why won't my tablet let me write s p a r i t y instead of spirits?????

2 weeks, 5 days ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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So much impact, so much truth in so few words.  Everything you write, Zac, distills something meaningful and important in such a small space.  Your spirits is your strength. I applaud you.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on “A Beautiful Burden” One Man’s Commentary on Managing Cultural Differences

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Not that it matters, but I think we're blaming Phaedra a little unfairly.  Look, who among us has not fallen for a guy who was just soooo wrong for us, and, in spite of warning signs and input from those who knew and loved us we went ahead and got our "Romeo and Juliet" fantasy on and jumped in with the deadbeat/loser/jerk/liar/a$$hole anyway?  I'm certainly guilty of having done the same in my flaming youth. It was by the grace of God that nothing worse than a broken heart and incredible embarrassment resulted from my poor decision-making. All this happened long ago, but I remember how charming, he was how handsome he was, how engaging he was and what a great f . . . but I digress.


Look, she was older and more educated, but who knows how mature her heart was?  She obviously thought she could change him into the man she wanted rather than recognizing him for the man (and I use the term loosely) he truly was.  We women do that all the time: take the man who presents himself and try to make him into the man we want.  IT NEVER WORKS!  He is who he is.  In marriage, what you see is what you get, take it or leave it.  He won't be anything other than that no matter how you try or what you do. 


I kinda feel sorry for her.  Her humiliation played out on a public stage; mine was limited to my family and friends.  I believe that while part of the fault is hers, part of it is his, too.  He fully intended to play false with her, and her love/sexual attraction/willful blindness played right into his hands. Let's not overlook the fact that he is a sociopath and that she was, to some degree, his victim. She has suffered media-wide humiliation at his hands.  He had a choice to do better, but chose to sacrifice his family on the alter of his ego.


I choose to pity her.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on RHOA Demonstrates How Some Black Women Waste Their Potential on Shifty Men

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@Gijou @MixedUpInVegas @SirLoinDeBeef 

My dear Ms. Gijou, for some reason, I don't think it is all that tough a job for you.  Just doin' what comes naturally, right?

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@SirLoinDeBeef 

Young Miss BW needs to refrain from confirming the stereotype of the prickly, argumentative BW and Mr. WM needs to get off the defensive.  If I were him I'd have begged off any further conversation after the first rebuke.  They would both have saved a lot of time.

We as BW need to embrace our femininity first and our race somewhere further down the line.  As others have pointed out, this is a natural male/female thing, not a racial thing.  A man seeks you out because you are a woman he believes attractive, not because you are black.  That is a secondary consideration.  See each other for what you are, a man and a woman interested in knowing one another better.  The dance of the genders is no place to play Sistah Soldier.

Now, excuse me while I go touch up my gray roots.  I got a hot date with my handsome husband tonight!

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@SirLoinDeBeef 

" . . . But, let's hear from the 40-, 50- and even 60-something crowd."

Uhhh, "even 60-something?" Mr. SirLoin, sir, today is my 65th birthday, and I'll have you know that we are no slouches in the romance/sensuality/wanting a partner group.  And let's not even talk about Beloved Spouse, who is 10 years older and can do the do fit to beat the band! (you know I'm funnin' ya, right??)

As to this letter business all I can say is :::Face Palm:::  What is so hard about relating to one another as human beings, a human male and a human female??  After all, that is what this is really about.  This is about a man looking for a woman for all the same reasons that men have looked for women since the beginning of time.  It ain't that complicated unless you make it that way. 

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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Hey Christelyn, is the white eggplant different in flavor than the trraditional purple?  I have a ton of eggplant this year, but have never grown the white.  Might put it on my to do list next year if it is better.

Good suggestion from my favorite recipe site, Miss Brenda.  There are a million ways to make eggplant, anyone who hasn't had good experiences with it may just not have tried the right way yet.  We love it--way good!

Here's another good one:

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/baked-eggplant-with-mushroom-and-tomato-sauce-10000000222191/

2 weeks, 6 days ago on In Season in the “Beauty Garden”…Eggplant

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Interestingly enough, when I explained to my now Beloved spouse that I was not white he said "yes I know". In all other conversations he has said so what? He doesn't want to talk about it, saying you are a beautiful woman and I am your lucky man. Might be dodging the issue, but how can I complain?

3 weeks, 1 day ago on Open Thread: “How Do I Explain My Preference for Black Women without Sounding Like a Douche?”

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@FriendsofJay @sparel 

I think a more realistic phrase would have been "to become part of the greater American community" which is comprised of the many diverse people who are contributing American citizens and not criminals. I think most of us, particularly in the western US, look around our communities every day and see all kinds of people who work hard, pay their taxes, raise their kids and run small businesses who are not white.  No disrespect intended to the white community, since I am married to a WM, but the standards for success are not exclusive to the white community.  Anyone can be a success without being white.

3 weeks, 3 days ago on One Black Mother’s Heartbreaking Story of Raising Her Son Amongst a Nest of Miscreants Intent on His Ruination

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@NaturalLynnMcGruder 

Please don't take this as disrespecting your post, Miss Lynn, but sometimes I think if I hear the "but not ALL Black men/women/people do (insert offensive behavior here) . . . . " I am going to rip out what hair I have left and go running screaming down the street.  Dear Miss Lynn, can't you see how (1) tiresome and threadbare that excuse is and (2) no one said All Black People do anything, offensive or otherwise.  All that Breukelen Bleu is trying to do is to tell her truth and how it has impacted her life and that of her son.  Please try to find more in her story than excuses to deflect responsibility from the very people who have hurt and abused her family.  She isn't the one generalizing, but it seems to me that you are.

3 weeks, 3 days ago on One Black Mother’s Heartbreaking Story of Raising Her Son Amongst a Nest of Miscreants Intent on His Ruination

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Wahooooo!  What a woman! 

3 weeks, 6 days ago on History Made: Michelle Howard Become Navy’s First Female Admiral

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I've seen a lot of waist-level planters that would work reasonably well for salad greens, scallion and other shallow-rooted veggies, Sirloin.  A guy who is handy could build one himself.

I took out all of the lawn in my backyard years ago and converted the space to gardens.  Flowers, fruit trees and veggies are more important to me than lawn.  Over time, it really became quite spectacular for a desert garden.

My experience has been that container gardening is tough business in the Mojave Desert.  The plants need all the root room they can get to get enough water and nutrients to be productive.  The roots tend to stay cooler and retain water better in the ground, especially with a nice layer of mulch over it.

It really is great, though, to walk out into the garden to gather produce for a meal and serve it right away.  It doesn't get any better than that.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Grow It in a Bag: Patio-To-Plate Encourages Container Gardening

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Sirloin, no one can fault your taste in women!

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Sirloins’BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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Aha!  A fellow cancer?  Congrats to all us July babies!  I'll be 65 next week.  Can't believe I lived this long!

3 weeks, 6 days ago on July is My Birth Month! Countdown to 41!

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Hello, all, from Copenhagen!


I dunno about all the good hair/bad hair arguments, it just seems to me that we women always want what we don't have.  Women with straight hair want curls; women with curls want straight hair; women change their hair color to something they think is more flattering than what nature gave them.  Doesn't matter about the woman's ethnicity, it is a shared foible among us all.  It keeps hairdressers employed.


Is one hair type/color/style "better" than another?  How is it "better" and why?  More to the point, who cares?

1 month ago on Oh Lawd. The “Ghosts of Mississippi” Have Arrived in the Natural Hair Community

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Oh my!!!  What a happy couple and what a BEAUTIFUL BRIDE! I love her hair, her gown, her veil, everything! April and Henry, may you live and love long together!!!

1 month ago on Another BB&W Reader Success Story! Remember April & Henry? They Got Hitched!

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@Swirlgirl28  The BC has always taken umbrage whenever an unflattering truth is pointed out. Doesn't make it less true; it only makes our community seem defensive, blind and brain-dead.

1 month ago on Company’s Photo Discrepancy Gives Subtle Message to Black Mothers Versus White Mothers

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Greetings, everyone from Kiel, Germany!  Dang, never heard of this contraption, but will hunt one down as soon as I get home. This sounds like the perfect thing for our needs and garden bounty!  Thanks for the tip, Christelyn.

1 month ago on Delicious Zucchini Spaghetti with Fresh Pesto

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Love is always beautiful. Much happiness and good luck to them both. 

1 month, 1 week ago on Eve Becomes “Mrs. Maximillion Cooper”

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Boarding the MS Eurodam today, sorry I can't hang with the sisters.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Are You Going to the NYC Loving Day Celebration or Nah?

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Greetings everyone, from Copenhagen, Denmark. Sitting on the quay outside outside our hotel watching many WM/BW couples strolling by holding hands.

Never heard of the tomato cure for burns. I have a huge potted aloe that I've used for the same purpose. Will try it the next time the occasion arises. Thanks for the tip!!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Health Trivia: Why Every Cook Should Be Growing Tomatoes

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@Brenda55 @MixedUpInVegas 

No, leaving Wednesday.  It is  Norweigian Cruiseline trip to Talnin, St. Petersburg, Helsinki, Stockholm then back to Copenhagen.  I'll let you know how it goes as we go along.  You and SirLoin should consider the Rhine River cruise we did last fall--it was DA BOMB!

 Today is our 9th wedding anniversary!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Low Carb, Hight Nutrition: Roasted Carrot and Leek Soup with Feta and Bacon

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@Brenda55 @MixedUpInVegas 

Brenda, my dear sister, if I hear that dry heat thing one more time I'm going to run screaming into the street.  Girl, hot is hot.  An oven is dry heat, too--does that make it more pleasant to stick your head into it?  In Vegas from May to October you get up early, do what you have to do outside and get back indoors by 9 am!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Low Carb, Hight Nutrition: Roasted Carrot and Leek Soup with Feta and Bacon

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@Christelyn  @MixedUpInVegas 

Chris, carrots are members of the parsley family (Umbelliferae) and as such like cooler weather.  (Try growing parsley, cilantro and the like in the desert in the dead of summer!)  What happens is, they turn yellow and go to seed.  The carrot roots will split and turn tough and bitter.  Like most veggies, pick 'em young!  Baby and young veggies are sweeter and if you make successive plantings, you will still have plenty coming ready over the growing season.  Carrots will keep well in the ground all winter because the ground never freezes in the Mojave.  Frost might nip the tops a bit, but they make a spectacular recovery and your crop will be just fine.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Low Carb, Hight Nutrition: Roasted Carrot and Leek Soup with Feta and Bacon

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I admit that I have never tried something like this. Although I grow carrots. In fall and winter (in the desert, plant them in fall and they will keep in the ground until May) they have always been an addition to a recipe. It is too hot for soup now (103 today) but maybe this winter . . .

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Low Carb, Hight Nutrition: Roasted Carrot and Leek Soup with Feta and Bacon

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Living in an international city like Las Vegas, it takes some doing to attract any attention at all.  Walking down the Strip or Downtown, you see some genuine jaw-droppers in the first 10 feet of your stroll.  An interracial couple is not unusual enough to get a glance, let alone a comment.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Couple Speaks Candidly About Public Onlookers

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@Brenda55 

OK, I'm in! Gonna try this when we get back to town.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Just As Good as Hair Vitamins: Why You Should Be (Growing) and Eating Cabbage

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Cabbage holds longer before going to seed and is sweeter if it is grown in the winter in the Mojave Desert.  Husband likes it, so I have quite a few recipes that I make with it.  Usually plant more of other cole crops--broccoli, bok choy, nappa cabbage, brussels sprouts--starting in early September.  Harvest the last of it in March before it gets too hot.

Oh, and a little Beano right before dinner helps the gassy tummy, at least for us.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Just As Good as Hair Vitamins: Why You Should Be (Growing) and Eating Cabbage

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Speaking for myself, I'm deeply grateful for the Mods.  It is about as thankless a job as parenting; that is to say the rewards come much later.  This site would be overrun with trolls, jerks, links to questionable sales sites and who knows what else. I want to thank all of you for your remarkable restraint, patience and lack of armed enforcement, 'cause I'd be wanting to shoot somebody sometimes up in here.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Coming Down from the Mount: Lay Off the Mods!

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Dang, Tammy and SirLoin, ya'll be talking way over my head  I'm impressed, though, because I always thought I was pretty smart.


My comment is about giving your kids weird names. Having suffered with one my whole life, I'd BEG parents to think twice about it. Back in the Pleistocene Era when I was born it never dawned on my parents' minds that we would grow up to be anything more than what they were. To their minds, having a "distinctive" name was the only thing they could give us that would set us apart.


Fast forward to the latter part of the 20th Century: my weird name has been a substantial distraction from my education, experience and other credentials in building a career. Please don't do this to your children!!  You  will not live their lives and you don"t know where they will go. Please keep it simple.  If you simply Must give them an unusual ethnic name, make it a middle name,  The world is complicated enough; please don't make it even more so for your child.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Are You Vulnerable to Job Discrimination?

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@BreannaNouveaux 

Are you talking about the stereotype of BW who are argumentative with everyone?  Hmmmm?

1 month, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: White Woman Asks, “How Can I Get My Family to Accept My Black Boyfriend?”

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@SwirlQueen Hey, Swirlie, good luck to you.  I understand what you're going through; my son-in-law spent 6 months clerking and studying for the CA Bar.  It paid off, though--he passed on the first try, and so will you.  His reward is that he can afford to be married to my daughter.  I'm hoping your reward is something a little less expensive.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Coming Down from the Mount: Lay Off the Mods!

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:::stumbles in, looks around, dazed:::  Whoa!  Is a question from a white woman that threatening to Black women?  I seem to remember questions from white men being answered and it didn't cause this much carnage! 

We are women just like white women are, and I happen to think we are just as good as they are, so a question from one of them does not set my hair on fire.  If WW are that threatening to any woman here, maybe she needs to look within herself and ask why she feels that way.  If we truly want to be treated as equal to any other woman, why do we need to keep them out?  Are we so "different" that we cannot interact with other women and hold our own?  And if a woman here is jealous or angry that a WW is dating a BM, then I have to ask why you would give a damn? 

Those of us who have married white men, had families of our own with them and join our families together have to put this stuff aside and simply be human.  How you gonna relate to your sister-in-law, cousins-by-marriage and all that if you continue to feel threatened and get all worked up over WW? 

Get over yourselves and accept your common humanity with other women.  They aren't a threat--they will someday be your family, if they aren't already.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: White Woman Asks, “How Can I Get My Family to Accept My Black Boyfriend?”

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