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@ThtsaPaddlin @Mike Petriello @Guitar DINGERS!!!

Oh, wait... not my line

1 week, 2 days ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: OF Andre Ethier

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Ethier: 2014 OBP: .322, Avg: .249

almost exactly Rollins' 2014 line

But I would much rather see someone who doesn't play shortstop like a retirement home candidate than


well, you know...

1 week, 2 days ago on 2014 Dodgers In Review: OF Andre Ethier

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@SkepticNinja @SabrDodgers @LiterallyPFP Pssshhhh

The postseason is just a huge crapshoot.  You might need even just one "really good" pitcher.

1 week, 2 days ago on A deeper look at Howie Kendrick, Dee Gordon’s replacement

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@capnsparrow   "LAUGH ALL YOU WANT

AH'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA BE ON TAY-VAY, LOOKIn' ALL BUFF"


1 week, 3 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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@DKD  OBP is king with the new crowd

1 week, 3 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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Aahhhh luuv yew gaaaahs

1 week, 3 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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@Paul ran out of puns, is just Paul now ..............Ned wasn't all that bad.

1 week, 3 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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@ABSmileBunch #ABeautifulMind

1 week, 4 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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@itsthatguywhodoesstuff  Remember when Javier Lopez was the big-shit offensive catcher for the Braves, yet Greg Maddux always wanted Eddie Lopez?

something like that

1 week, 4 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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"I know everyone is in a state of mourning over an athlete that none of us know personally being traded"

Actually, I've spoken to Matt so often in spring training that I *do* feel like I know him personally.

We aren't friends, but...

Many people who frequent the Arizona camp can say the same thing.

1 week, 4 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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Bless you, Matt. You are a good man.

We've lost two very good *human beings* in the last few days (regardless of my opinion about whether these trades were good- and I do).

1 week, 4 days ago on So Long, Matt Kemp

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@Bill Grabarkewitz @Guitar  Kemp is awesome as well, but I think that privately he wants to get off this team. So...

1 week, 4 days ago on Dodgers acquire Howie Kendrick from Angels, what is life?

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I will miss the hell out of Dee, man. Damn.

He and Andre were my two favorite personalities on the team-- just good dudes.

Ugh.

1 week, 4 days ago on Dodgers acquire Howie Kendrick from Angels, what is life?

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@juanhenry  "defense becomes unbearable"

Hell, DH is the ONLY place for him

4 weeks ago on Report: Hanley Ramirez to sign with Red Sox

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I didn't know that the Sox were straight up morons. lmfao

this will be absolutely disastrous for them

4 weeks ago on Report: Hanley Ramirez to sign with Red Sox

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@DroogyDodger #KingsRock

#CLOSERSunlikeDodgers

1 month ago on Jimmy Rollins should be on Dodgers’ radar for shortstop

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@Dodgers Nerd Apparently there are still grown men who can't spell "America."

1 month ago on Jimmy Rollins should be on Dodgers’ radar for shortstop

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to return to that Bill Cosby thing and "don't have heroes" or whatever

one of my comedy heroes went way too hard on me during his crowd work recently with just malicious, hacky shit

so I'm done with having heroes in comedy

and I'm ready to punch that guy in the face

1 month ago on 2014 Dodgers in Review: 2B Dee Gordon

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@BIah @Guitar doing a play on "all y'all n......s be trippin'"

1 month ago on 2014 Dodgers in Review: 2B Dee Gordon

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SHEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT, ALL Y'ALL

African American gentlemen

be

maintaining your balance quite well.

1 month ago on 2014 Dodgers in Review: 2B Dee Gordon

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@MFYG  IN OTHER NEWS:  clouds are generally puffy white things..... just boring, predictable shiz

1 month, 1 week ago on Clayton Kershaw, Most Valuable Everything

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@brincon @Guitar  I knew the guy who banned him (Tommy) fairly well


When Tommy got fired a few months ago Rogan and The Store felt that a reunion was in order.

1 month, 1 week ago on Clayton Kershaw, Most Valuable Everything

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@brincon @Guitar  calling out Mencia's theft of jokes

1 month, 1 week ago on Clayton Kershaw, Most Valuable Everything

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So Joe Rogan will make his return to The Comedy Store after a ban of 7 years....

slowly realizing that I'm one of the few people who actually cares

#obscurecomedyhistory

1 month, 1 week ago on Clayton Kershaw, Most Valuable Everything

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@BIah If it goes anything like it did for me when I was your age....

"ihaveaboyfriend, yeeeeeaaaahhhh"

1 month, 1 week ago on Dodgers Reportedly Add Three More To Front Office: Bream, Carr, Finley

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Detroit vers everrrrrrbaaawdy

Sheeeeeiiiiit.

http://youtu.be/vjUgJ6Cw5PU

1 month, 1 week ago on Dodgers Reportedly Add Three More To Front Office: Bream, Carr, Finley

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Brian Wilson (the legendary musician, not the shitty reliever) followers: 32,000

Taylor Swift: 46.5 million

We live in Hell, folks.

1 month, 1 week ago on Hanley Ramirez Declines Qualifying Offer, Obviously

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Prince is perhaps the most underrated guitarist of our time.

Dodgers.

1 month, 1 week ago on Hanley Ramirez Declines Qualifying Offer, Obviously

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@KMT59 I wonder if he is a boy dog

I've noticed that only strangers' female dogs bury their faces in my crotch within moments of meeting me. I wish that human women were as aggressive.

1 month, 1 week ago on Hanley Ramirez Declines Qualifying Offer, Obviously

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@KMT59  BAAAAAAAABYYYYY

1 month, 1 week ago on Of Course The Dodgers Are Trying To Trade An Outfielder

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"Dad drove a stock car to an early death

All I remember is a drunk man's breath

'Ain't livin' long like this'"

1 month, 1 week ago on Of Course The Dodgers Are Trying To Trade An Outfielder

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@HunterStricklandsOedipalComplex @Guitar @LiterallyPFP  k, I can dig it

now that I looked at their salary numbers, you guys are right to complain about him, BUT

INCLUDE JONES

1 month, 2 weeks ago on All Hail The Mighty New Dodgers Front Office

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@Diane. Author of Ned Colletti erotic fan fiction p  #NoNBA

sowwy. KINGS (in HOCKEY) 4 LYFE

1 month, 2 weeks ago on All Hail The Mighty New Dodgers Front Office

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@Diane. Author of Ned Colletti erotic fan fiction p  just read "Kings dynasty" then wrote "HELL YEAH" or something realized that you were probably referring to some NBA team that I wouldn't care about even if it brought me out of a coma

1 month, 2 weeks ago on All Hail The Mighty New Dodgers Front Office

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@LiterallyPFP  You guys go on

and on

and on

about Schmidt.

To me, Andruw Jones was IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINIFINTELY

worse.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on All Hail The Mighty New Dodgers Front Office

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@Jeremy_N @Guitar @GinFizzBear  yeah, it's the same with interleague crap-- they're just raking it in, so the "temporary"

"experiment"

is permanent.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Gabe Kapler reportedly hired as Farm Director, front office shuffle continues

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@GinFizzBear @Guitar Well, let's just say that I would limit the number of teams that would be in the playoffs. There might even be 2 divisions again with 4 SUBdivisions (to prevent teams from flying all around the country all the time) in each league, but only two would make it into the playoffs.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Gabe Kapler reportedly hired as Farm Director, front office shuffle continues

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The way the postseason in baseball is structured.... it's a joke.

Who the hell thought that the Giants were the best team in baseball or anywhere near it?

Jesus. The whole thing needs to be restructured.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Gabe Kapler reportedly hired as Farm Director, front office shuffle continues

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@Purple Drank @ABSmileBunch @DodgerDodger  Papa Drank... Mama Drank... and their little baby


it's all so....................... Kaufmanesque

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Gabe Kapler reportedly hired as Farm Director, front office shuffle continues

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@Weston T @Guitar @SabrDodgers  great alcohol chat... we need to do this more often... gotta exercise now

Later

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Report: Dodgers Interested in Alexei Ramirez

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@Weston T @SabrDodgers I drank Jameson until it literally started hurting my insides when I consumed it. I kinda figured my body was telling me something.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Report: Dodgers Interested in Alexei Ramirez

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@SabrDodgers I didn't start drinking *consistently* until I began comedy 4 years ago.

The first time I ever got really shit faced was when I was 29 and going to film school classes.

I drank 12 Guineses because a hot Mexican girl rejected me. I thought, "these kids are going to notice that I'm more than slightly buzzed here." Nope. No noticed or gave a shit.

#ScotchIrishGenes

Oh, what were we talking about? Yeah, I can tell the difference between liquors.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Report: Dodgers Interested in Alexei Ramirez

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The Goat has some credits that I'm just now discovering

http://youtu.be/L_NfCmTkLPQ

No offense to him, but I can see why he kept this one a secret.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Dodgers decline Chad Billingsley’s option for 2015, but hopefully he returns

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