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I am go fuck yourself and slurp my taint.

5 days, 14 hours ago on Daniel Corcino, the intriguing waiver wire acquisition

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@Omer (beercoozie) @Purple Drank @ThtsaPaddlin I once got so drunk on Irish car bombs that I puked in my own car while my wife drove me home. It inexplicably smelled like bad beef jerky for weeks. 

5 days, 14 hours ago on Daniel Corcino, the intriguing waiver wire acquisition

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@Purple Drank @ThtsaPaddlin I'm not sure they have those here. I'll ask tomorrow.

5 days, 15 hours ago on Daniel Corcino, the intriguing waiver wire acquisition

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I am dranked on multiple Guinnesses. 

5 days, 15 hours ago on Daniel Corcino, the intriguing waiver wire acquisition

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@DKD Seriously, though, Kevin. Stop putting your nose in their butts.

6 days, 11 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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@capnsparrow Yeah, if anybody, they should hate you. 

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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@AngryPanda (because they are artificial, and they loved to have relations)

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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@AngryPanda At my college, we called this a delta delta delta party. 

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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@AngryPanda Nothing worse than an artificial fuck off. 

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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Can't we all just respectfully slurp one another's taints?

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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@Dapper Turtle Dick Someone made this. And then someone turned it into a .gif. 

6 days, 12 hours ago on Podcast: ‘Dugout Blues’ episode 116 – Hot start (MLB/MiLB), July 2

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Love me some sad Grant.


The Giants didn't get a runner on second base until Joe Panik doubled in the ninth.

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The Giants were out-hit 18 to four.

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The Giants had four hits.

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Josh Collmenter won't be in the league in five years. He can't throw harder than Barry Zito. Literally, Barry Zito today, the guy in Nashville, trying to make a comeback. The Giants couldn't hit him.

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The Giants had four hits.

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The Giants had one fewer hit tonight than Josh Collmenter, who is a pitcher.

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers 7, Rockies 3: Clayton Kershaw At His Best-ish And Worst-ish

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Why does nearly-college-graduate Lobo look nothing like high school Spanish video Lobo?

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers 7, Rockies 3: Clayton Kershaw At His Best-ish And Worst-ish

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@DodgerLivingInWeHo Mike picked them to make it pretty far IIRC.

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers 7, Rockies 3: Clayton Kershaw At His Best-ish And Worst-ish

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@uosɹədəɔıu sǝɹpɐd ʎɹəʌ™ Dancing away my hunger pangs. Movin' my feet so my stomach won't hurt.

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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I'm not sure AJ makes that play. He's terrible with fielding the hop and making the tag. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Andre's had some nice throws to the plate this season. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Yes, Goat, I know some people have. Has anyone here?

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Has anyone heard the Rockies call of the Kershaw no-no?

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Oh, I was only 1 pitch behind. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Well, I'm at least a batter behind. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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But it was pretty. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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Could have fielded it flat-footed, planted, and thrown. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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He didn't need to short-hop that. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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@nerrd Petroleum byproducts, probs. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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@nerrd I had a few gnarly warts on my feet, and then I started surfing in Seal Beach and they went away.

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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@DBrim @ThtsaPaddlin But nobody said, "Bye, Ryan." which was disappointing. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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So we're just gonna let this go without saying, "Bye, Ryan."? https://twitter.com/DodgerInsider/status/589238948511162368

1 week, 2 days ago on Rockies @ Dodgers April 17, 2015: Many Notes Edition

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@Los Doyers Cubanos @ThtsaPaddlin I dunno. I think he just loves what Dustin has to say. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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Hey Dustin, have you ever been inside Gabe Kapler's chicken coop? http://imgur.com/soZFNR4

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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@Dave! (Or Justin Turner, Maybe) @ThtsaPaddlin Oh, that sounds like it would have been a better joke. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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Dustin, the time you met Gabe Kapler, it was outside the context of chicken coop construction, right? http://imgur.com/soZFNR4

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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@Los Doyers Cubanos You could sit behind a tree?!?!

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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@Disgruntled Goat @DBrim I'm doing Goat's mom August 7th. 

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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@DBrim @Disgruntled Goat If Grandal's leg is severed by a splintered bat and his femoral sprays the umpire in the eyes, what could be considered reacting appropriately?

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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(I'm looking for my niche)

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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Does Kapler like dick jokes?

1 week, 2 days ago on Dodgers’ best pitching prospects impressing early on

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