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@Weston Taylor  Caution: contains carbon.

2 hours, 13 minutes ago on Phillies 3, Dodgers 2: Inventing Ways To Lose

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@Weston Taylor  Aren't those just the nutrients found in every plant?

2 hours, 13 minutes ago on Phillies 3, Dodgers 2: Inventing Ways To Lose

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@Weston Taylor  LOLPirates

2 hours, 13 minutes ago on Phillies 3, Dodgers 2: Inventing Ways To Lose

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Lame.

2 hours, 57 minutes ago on Phillies 3, Dodgers 2: Inventing Ways To Lose

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@MSTI OG  TO A MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

3 hours, 33 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@MSTI OG  YOURE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

3 hours, 33 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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The recap should be written in the author's own blood.

3 hours, 34 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@Lobo  HOW FUCKING BAD IS THE REST OF THE LEAGUE?!?!?!

3 hours, 51 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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A more pleasurable way to spend the evening. 

3 hours, 51 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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I'm going to go put my scrotum in the blender.

3 hours, 51 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Bastardo is such a...what's the word I'm looking for...

4 hours, 1 minute ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Tony Jackson has moved on from baseball to more exciting ventures: https://twitter.com/dodgerscribe/status/458836236220633089

4 hours, 10 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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My MLB.tv has shut down with perfect timing.

4 hours, 16 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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No offense, but FedEx is pretty okay.


(only 1 in 10 Americans will get this pun).

4 hours, 32 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@KMT59  Things I told my friends in high school. 

5 hours, 18 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Not good enough, apparently.

5 hours, 20 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Dodgers have one more hit than Burnett.

5 hours, 24 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@capnsparrow  I thought that was a respectable throw last inning.

5 hours, 30 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@Omer (beercoozie)  Yes. Tony and I are dirty, dirty racists.

5 hours, 33 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@efb  No way to know for sure without Blah around doing stats.

5 hours, 34 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@efb @ThtsaPaddlin  This is from last year when someone was trying to make a point about FB distance. This was Ryu for the first 2 games of last season. You can see his power was clearly declining.

5 hours, 37 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@efb  I feel like something good is about to happen.

5 hours, 40 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Marlon Byrd double plates A.J. Burnett. Can predict ball. 

5 hours, 49 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Sounds like Vin is frustrated with the defense.

6 hours, 7 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@Noel D @Barney G  Who is that that walks by?

6 hours, 17 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@KMT59  You're approximately 45 mins ahead of the rest of us somehow.

6 hours, 19 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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Yasiel has pink eye from his forays into scat.

6 hours, 21 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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I'm so ready for Puig to throw Burnett out at 3b or home. 

6 hours, 31 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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FedEx is bad at offense.

6 hours, 36 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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@nauuds3000 @ThtsaPaddlin @BlueMarvin  I had another character that was a GM mace fighter or whatever you called it. Warrior?

6 hours, 39 minutes ago on Phillies @ Dodgers, April 22, 2014: At Least It’s Not Cliff Lee

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