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The wife and I are really enjoying The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (about a girl who spent her life in a bunker before moving to New York). Here's a line you guys might enjoy:


"I don't care. I spent 15 years in that bunker eating beans out of a Florida Marlins cap. The Marlins..."

8 hours, 2 minutes ago on One Week To Go, Who Makes It To Opening Day?

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@Disgruntled Goat SWEETGOATLOVIN69

13 hours, 16 minutes ago on One Week To Go, Who Makes It To Opening Day?

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@Disgruntled Goat Make love, not dinner. 

13 hours, 16 minutes ago on One Week To Go, Who Makes It To Opening Day?

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@Disgruntled Goat @ThtsaPaddlin @uosɹədəɔıu sɹəƃpop ʎɹəʌ™ Conman made it. It was based on a whole conversation.

13 hours, 21 minutes ago on One Week To Go, Who Makes It To Opening Day?

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@James Loney Apologist Sam Adams had a really nice spring ale circa 2008, but it's been discontinued, and I've never been as fond of any of its replacements (or any of the seasonal beers, really). But I do enjoy Boston Lager. 

13 hours, 23 minutes ago on One Week To Go, Who Makes It To Opening Day?

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FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN WAITING ALL SPRING TO SEE GARVEY

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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Spring looks weird under the lights.


3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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@capnsparrow  @ThtsaPaddlin @LA_Woman Fuck you capn I count how I want to count because when I count sometimes it equals more than when you count you fuckn prick. 

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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@LA_Woman @ThtsaPaddlin Oh. Yeah. Lobo wanted to feed the giraffes at the zoo, and I thought that was kind of juvenile, but then I was informed that giraffes would be good slurpers of taint. So Conman posted an image and I adopted it. 

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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@LA_Woman @ThtsaPaddlin Well, 6 months, I guess. 

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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Just sayin'.

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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I just heard Vinny's voice for the first time in 9 months. 

3 days, 10 hours ago on Brandon League Helps Clear Up The 40-Man Roster Crunch

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@uosɹədəɔıu sɹəƃpop ʎɹəʌ™ BUT HE'S ADJUSTED HIS GRIP AND NOW HE'S GOOD, VND. FUCKING IDIOT. 

3 days, 21 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@nsxtasy Then you potentially waste options when there are equal or better alternatives, no?

3 days, 21 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@†ymathee That doesn't appear to be current Dodgers hitting coach Mark McGwire. I can tell by the uniform. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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Easiest decision ever. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@Lobo @ThtsaPaddlin I just thought it was funny that in a city of so many divine pleasures, you made a surprisingly juvenile suggestion. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@0ptimus @ThtsaPaddlin Tainthouse™. For when any short-necked taint slurper just won't do. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@0ptimus @ThtsaPaddlin The problem is getting your taint high enough. Treehouse, maybe?

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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LOL Feed the giraffes. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@Lobo @- Casey - @DBrim @uosɹədəɔıu sɹəƃpop ʎɹəʌ™ Well, nobody every goes any further north than Sacramento, so it's basically half way up the state. 

3 days, 22 hours ago on Changes Are Coming To The 40-Man Roster

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@Dustin Nosler Just answer the fucking question, Dustin. 

4 days, 18 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Purple Drank @capnsparrow That would be called a freshwater layer, you fucking idiot. PTTBMM. 

4 days, 18 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Iron Man Returns It was cold in his office this morning and he pulled his shoulder while stretching. 

4 days, 18 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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Never touched him.  

4 days, 18 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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That was a Kemp-like swing. 

4 days, 18 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@James Loney Apologist This fucking narrative is going to be a problem today. 

4 days, 19 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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Psh. Kershaw's probably not going to even make it out of the 7th today. 

4 days, 19 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Sangro Azul And Mike gets like 43 cents. 

4 days, 20 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@KMT59 In under the wire. 

4 days, 20 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@James Loney Apologist @666foldamort I like the sheen on that neck that makes it look super realistic. 

4 days, 20 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Purple Drank @ThtsaPaddlin @Batted Bob Yeah, I agree. But I wouldn't say that this season is radically different from last season in that regard. 

4 days, 20 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Purple Drank @Batted Bob LHB-on-LHP platoon splits take 1000 PA to stabilize. Adrian's "split" last season meant nothing. 

4 days, 20 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@†ymathee That thing flew like a Yellowish American black vulture. 

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@TheConman SNLA deemed it necessary to put a watermark on this. 

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Math Space Cat Yeah probably, but then I don't get the satisfaction of throwing something away that's branded "ESPN."

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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Bob didn't buy because he didn't want to waste paper. Now that I'm immediately throwing away a magazine every month, I understand that perspective. 

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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I'm still reaping the rewards from that weird sale I alerted a bunch of you guys to. Wasn't it something like 2 years of ESPN Mag for $5.99?

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Purple Drank @Math Space Cat What about your normal-sized acquaintances?

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Mike Petriello This is really, really good. 

4 days, 21 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Mike Petriello "Mike Petriello's shoulder is fine." - Don Mattingly

4 days, 23 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@†ymathee @DBrim Not if he were a pitcher. 

4 days, 23 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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@Purple Drank @ThtsaPaddlin Translated from Spanish, obviously. 

4 days, 23 hours ago on Dodgers bet heavily on Hector Olivera’s elbow holding up

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