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When one door close, another door window, patio, or roof top opens up. Enjoy it. You are gorgeous, and shapely. You look amazing. I always thought Seamus/Shamus were Irish names. I guess it's the Gaelic thing, lol. Enjoy your life, and keep loving yourself, and let the jealous ass hatin' bitches envy you every step of the way.
2 weeks, 3 days ago on Carrie Rebounds After False Start with the ‘Emotional Warrior’
Honestly, I am not mad at this guy. I can respect this man coming in here based off of what he read. If he went to Johns Hopkins and even bought dinner, I know he's an accomplished man who's able to research. I think this came from the heart, and that's that. NO anger here.
All I know is for me....I am not attracted to black men. No excuses. Just a fact. So, I commend him and his friends for being amazing. I believe everyone should marry whoever is best for them. I think any man with his level of education, regardless of color expects a lot from a wife. Clearly they expected a lot of themselves achieved it, and now they truly want an equal match in values, education, and family expectations. Hell, that's what black women want as well. However, while the IBM, highly educated and motivated black male is lauded, and pranced around like a blonde zebra the black women who may also be Johns Hopkins educated Doctors (I get all stanish when I see all well educated, self made people) will be EXPECTED and CRITICIZED on a daily basis if they do not 'open their options' and date a mechanic, the bag boy at the grocery store, a street sweeper, etc because he's a good brotha, and she is just being a snob.
I think it would be awesome if he went to the websites that hate black women and help the young brotha's there get their minds right. If you like and only date white women...COOL. NO need to make excuses for what you want. Also, there is no need to put your mothers, sisters, cousins downs. A man, of any color, that is truly a man will stand up for he likes.
1 month ago on Black Doctor Wants You To Know: “There are Good Black Men Out There.”
In one random word, suckey. If you are over an American size 6..,,you are ass out unless you shop online. You need to bring your own hair products, bras (some of the tiniest bras ever are here), skin potions and deodorant. The lack of deodorant is REAL. The man sitting next to me now is killing the funk game. Damn. If you are interested in dating here especially Chinese men then check out Jo Gan's blog. It is called 'Life Behind The Wall'. She has been quite successful.
China has some awesome things, but when it's bad it's freaking awful. I try to focus on the positive. My friends, the things that I am doing, etc.
1 month ago on BB&W Fan, Nikki Bright Gives Real Talk About Black Women Working and Living in China
I tried to get a job at an international department at a Chinese School, and they have racial hiring policies. They want white teachers, and will tell you. Then they will call you back and tell you they are interested but you will make less money. LOL. yes. It happened to me. I told them I am still black so I still didn't qualify. They told me it was ok, now. The white teachers were not responding. I declined, and laughed into the phone and kept it moving. I would rather know upfront how they are.they toldme.i moved on.
Yes and no. Professional teachers are well respected and taken seriously. Language School teachers it all depends on the person. Language School teachers are not taken seriously by most. Fortunately I do not have that issue. I have been treated fairly by most people. Most of the western heavy hitters feel sorry for you if you work foraChineseowned and operated school. They are rn poorly, and literally only know of one way to do things.
Auto correct is killing me softly
Thank you for reading this and commenting on it. I wish everyone good luck I they're devours. ChristimeRJohnson I love Spain. It is on my places to livel list.if you are certified to teach in the US your best bet is a reputable international school. You will receive a moving expense as part of your package. I do not know you,but I find that many teachers over 26 prefer it.then again I know nothing about living and working in Spain. Consider it. If you have qualms there are places that you ca review international schools. Best Wishes.
I enjoyed this article. Listen, I am a never married single mother of an adult child. I wanted more, but I refused to bring in another child into a not married situation. It is unfair to the children. I also refused to quickly find someone, and give him a 'daddy', so other people could approve of my life.
I did date, but not often,and he was rarely if ever introduced. I never had men spending the night at my home, or visiting late night hours 'because he was asleep and didn't know any better'. It just never sat right with me. As he got older we ran into the teen years....he is an alpha male with no father in our home, so you know that was very tough. I wouldn't've wished those years on my worst enemy. They were tough, time consuming, and I was depressed a lot in those years. So, there was no way in hell I would've had someone come into that situation. He's an adult now, so I'm off doing my thing. No man in the picture yet, but in time it will happen.
I have zero interest in men who have a million and one kids, that they can barely afford to take care of by women that they barely like let alone love. I don't want to deal with all of the drama. I was also suspicious of men that courted single women too easily. Children are a huge responsibility, and someone that continually jumped into these relationships makes me wonder if they are not targeting children at some point.
Honestly, I also wonder about men who've been married two or more times. They worry me more than the men who continually get random women pregnant. Do they leave when the honeymoon stage is over? Is marriage a game for them? Do they have the starter wife mentality?
When you're an adult, and serious about making a big life change you realize that there are a shit ton of duds out there. It can be daunting and annoying, but I am ready to give it a shot.
1 year, 1 month ago on Inside the Male Mind: Why Divorced Single Mothers Get a Pass and Why Never-Marrieds Often Don’t
I like your response to her question, Chris. The bell has been rung. You can't unring it, so proceed with caution.
The concern for me, is the huge age gap with the children. Does she let her guard down, and get caught up in the romantic love of the moment, and ignore the signs of a potential disaster/
Either way, I wish her luck.
1 year, 1 month ago on QOTW: “I Have Five Kids. Is It Too Late for Me to Swirl?”
Chris....why did you add that. Now, every time you mention him, I am going to get that Aerosmith song, 'Big 10' inch (I know you said 8, but you get the pic) flashing in my head.
1 year, 1 month ago on Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man’s penis.
Sorry, but I throw the bullshit flag on the faux concern. It's not concern. It's pure nosiness and gas lighting. One thing I've noticed people get concerned when you move on with your life. I don't care who black men date. I say every white, latino, asian, and other woman can have the black dudes. I am generally less attracted to black men. I get annoyed when white women start going on and on and on about the 'swagga' of their black man.
I have had many different rude ass comments made to me about my choices in partners. I remember when guy coming up to me, and saying "I'm sorry sista." At first, I was seriously confused, until they pointed at my brother kissing my friend. Then they went on with the I am sorry that you had to see that. I told them both that he was my brother and why were they apologizing. To which they responded, 'You don't even know enough to be offended. That's ok sista, we'll be offended for you.'
After I realized what the hell they were blathering on about, I explained to them both that while I thought my brother was an attractive young man, I had, and will have no desire to either make out or have any sort of sexual contact with him, because that is just plain nasty as hell. Those two idiots were fit to be tied.
I have a preference. I don't put black men down for mine, but they feel it's their duty to take me, and other bw to task for our choices.
I say.... "keep it movin', bruh'.
1 year, 1 month ago on A Sister Reacts to Accusation of Race Betrayal
Wow! My thoughts and prayers are with you, and her family.
1 year, 2 months ago on Death in the Family: ‘EarthJeff’ Loses His ‘Bee’
Oneika and Ieesha are two of my EXPAT SHEROES! I am so happy for them finding themselves and prospering abroad. I admire them both, and wish them nothing but the bless.
My black ass can not spell, and I do apologize for misspelling your beautiful names.
Thank you ladies for the inspiration. Please continue to live well, and inspire...
1 year, 2 months ago on Oneika, our Favorite Traveller, Gets Engaged!
High value woman? Do you think she feels like a high value woman? I don't know her....but she did wait for a married man to divorce his wife, and get another woman pregnant while they were 'on a break'. Hell, Ross didn't get the girl pregnant, he just slept with her, and Rachel wanted nothing to do with him after that.
For Gabrielle's sake I hope it is everything she has dreamed of and waited for.....
1 year, 2 months ago on While Gabrielle Union Cries in Her Soup, Eve Celebrates Her Engagement, But Will There Soon Be News of Random Babies?!
Lorraine thank you for this! I have actually been to Reyivik on a turnaround when I was a flight attendant.
Girl, I was in the airport for no more than a few hours, and got chatted up quite a lot by some of the staff. I would like to go and actually spend sometime there. I think it would be an incredible time.
1 year, 2 months ago on Black Girls Traveling: Break Some Ice In Iceland
Thank you for this. You are one of, if not the best authors on this site. I agree with you.. Some who come to this site come to shame not to uplift and help. In whatever way, it makes them feel much better to be abusive, exclusionary, and ill mannered.
I enjoy your work.
1 year, 3 months ago on Message to the Lurkers: Not All of Us Are Preaching to the Choir
When I first saw this picture, I only saw her arms and her boobs. I looked at he, and thought she was anorexic....they didn't look like healthy, fit arms like the one super fit mom, they looked super skinny and awkward. However, after looking at her picture she looks skinny, but fit.
There are two sides to this story, with one eternal truth stuck in the middle. Women are always trying to one up one another, and put each other down. It is sad. I'm . so over selfies. My friends boyfriend is always taking selfies when we go out and it is freaking annoying and stupid.
Personally, I aim for a curvy, healthy, fit look. Now, this particular women is a WAG of a Norwegian or Danish footballer. I'm not any more impressed with her being in shape than I am with any other housewife with money and time on her hands.
I'm plus sized, and I believe in positive body image. Until you love yourself, you will not treat yourself right. Love yourself enough, to get healthy and be fit...whatever that is for you.
As far as skinny shamming, lol, I usually don't see too much of it. Mostly I hear people fat shamming, and that is skinny and fat people fat shamming. Personally, I say do you. Rock what you have, learn to love it, and take good care of it.
1 year, 3 months ago on RANT: Want Us to Stop ‘Fat Shaming?’ Then STOP With the Skinny Shaming!!
Haven't watched the video yet, but I know you. I am proud to call you a friend. You are dynamic, inspiring peice of work.
1 year, 9 months ago on Come Hither 101: Tracy Renee Jones Schools Us On How to Enchant the Opposite Sex!
I don't see the big deal. He is a fitness buff that wants to date another fitness buff. Then he should do that. My only thin with this guy is why are you accepting friend requests from big women? That's dumb as hell. You like what you like....ride it out, and don't waste your time on what you're not interested in.
I believe we should strive to be our personal best at all times. I believe physical fitness and great health is a personal must for black women. I'm not tiny, nor do I have an athletic build. I have curves......which I love. What I do not love, is the extra weight that I have, and am working on discarding.
I jus don't understand why everyone is all up in arms over this guys preference.....
1 year, 11 months ago on A White Guy's Honest Opinion About Black Women...and Their Weight.
I hurt for that child....beautiful piece....
1 year, 12 months ago on It's the LaLaLa From Halsted........
Tracy's words fit, and she' not randomly cursing people out in the comments section. There is a diference between art and belligerence. You will come to lean that.
1 year, 12 months ago on Sometimes the Words Don't Fit in My Mouth.........Makes Me Wanna Holla
Wow you are incredible, girl! That was great......I truly enjoyed it...
Go back and read what I wrote.....
2 years ago on Black Women Who are Acceptable in Film and TV
As ya'll know, my parents will be married 51 years in less than a week. My mother has her own retirement, checking account, savinggs, job, hobbies beliefs, etc. However, she was happy to take my dad's last name. So, yes. I would do it.
I don't believe all traditions are bad. I think it ads a certain cohesiveness to the family. I know it's odd, lol, a raging liberal like myself with some sort of tradition. Seriously, everyone has to follow their own set of moral beliefs, and do the right thing for them and their families....
2 years ago on Do you plan to change your last name when you get married? If so, you might want to think a bit more about that choice.
I love this. You are versatile. You bring folks together when other writers only can rip people apart. So good....one of my writing inspirations.
2 years ago on Like Bees to Honey: Be Charming...It's Totally Easy and Well Worth it!!
Only a true pussy has to put down an entire group of women, because they don't have the balls to own their own preferences...next....
OH, and I concur...not a fuck was given...
2 years ago on The Ultimate Touché: Blogger Lists Reasons To Date White Men in Response to Ice's Ode to White Girls!
I agree with DeepWater...I'm ready for these stories to be told as well, but it is nice to see these actresses making it further, a bit 'faster' in this buisness then in previous years. I think as more Shonda Rhymes' pop up.....people, meaning white folk in Hollywood with the wealth to prodcue and distribute will begin acknowledging the true diversity of our stories. However, I'm not holding my breath, lol....
Zoe is Latina, above all else....atleast that's what the Latina's tell me. They enjoy downplaying her race, lol. Not all, but when it comes up in discussions that is the first thing that s brought up, and the biggest thing played down. Isn't Naomie Harris English? IMO, I think being black and foreign is a plus in this sense.... you have to be able to supercede your blackness, and that def helps. I'm not saying it's any easier for foreign black actresses, but I think if they're trying to reach a wider, targeted audience then it can def be a plus.
As per usual.....an excellent post. I've been reading some of the comments, a combination of excellent, interesting, tragic, and why are you even on this damn webste.
Mysmile...you're saving yourself for the right time. Do not let anyone try and make you feel odd, wrong, weird, simple or silly about the choice that you made...FOR YOUR LIFE. Stand strong, embrace what works for you in your journey. Be your own role model. As I've gone on in life I've realized folks have a lot of shit to say about how other folks run their life, based on their own experiences, insecurities, strengths and weaknesses. Listening, to honest, thoughtful opinions and sharing of experiences may help you on your quest. I'm one of those 'choice zealots'.
As for therapy....hell, we could all use someone as a sounding board that has nothing to win or lose, so to speak, other than a paycheck and a need to help. If you have had some sort of undealt with trauma...rape, incest, spousal abuse, POW...whatever it maybe...therapy is an excellent option.
You know what amuses me about the entire 'whore', 'slut' thing? You call a talented, well paid working girl a 'slut' she'll rip your head off? Why? To the working girl, a 'slut' is a fool who gives a valuable commodity, herself, away for free. Then of course, to a self-proclaimed 'slut', the power is not in the money...but in the control that she exercises over whom she engages in sexual activity. To the 'slut' a whore is a fool that is beholden to her male customers, and therefore not actually making a 'choice'.
Definition depend on your perspective...... JMO
2 years ago on What Black Men Say When Black Women Aren't Around
I enjoyed the article,and I do not believe that Christalyn is raising her daughter to be elitist.
I remember being taunted in school...by the other black kids. Why? Because I dressed different an listened to heavy metal music, the majority of my friends were white, and I wanted to live in Germany. They gave me hell. I mean absolute hell. I was called black, ugly, rusty, stinky...every freaking name under the sun. This was constant. I was constantly told that while I was black...that I wasn't black, I was an oreo cookie, and I spoke like a white girl. Keep in mnd this is at a private school. Well, one day one of the kids that had made fun of me all year long just kept riding me and riding me. He decided that he would bring it up a notch....he got right up under my arms, and started sniffing and saying that I stunk and I was gross. At that point I was done. I picked up the desk and threw it at him. It hit him, and it messed up his glasses, his clothes and everything else. I got sent to the deans office. He laughed, and gave me a week's detention, and the other kid ended up getting suspended. The other kids and the teacher told the dean of students whatt happened. The school felt that he instigated the situation. He never bothered with me again. As a matter of fact, most of them left me alone after that. Was I wrong for throwing the chair? Absoluely. If I hadn't the constant taunts would'v contintued.
The young lady was dead wrong for what she did. However, the young man instigated the situation, and were it not for him egging it on, would she have whipped hisass? I don't know. I don't know the kids. I don't know if this girl is a problem child, or if she was like I was...just trying to get an ongoing situation to stop.
We teach our kids that sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt me. An ass whopping only hurts for a little while, but cutting, nasty remarks leave permanent marks
2 years ago on Harsh Reality: Ghetto-Girl Mentality Has Little to Do With Economics, More About 'Fitting In'
@Toni_M @Lance85 @MarkCustard
One of the reason that I love Gwen Stefani, Debra Messing and Pink....they rock the shit out of their boob size, and that is an attractive/sexy quality in a male or female...rocking what you got...
2 years ago on Thinking Of Moving Abroad? Better Find Out Who’s ‘Packing’ Before You Start Packing!! (INFOGRAPHIC) | Beyond Black & White
Lance, are you crazy? Sounds like she was juicing you. I had a couple of friends that would do shit like this to guys they thought were simps. They ended up getting shopping trips, and the guys got blue balls and disconnected phone numbers...
Yikes! Stay away from women like that....thankfully, my girls that did this shit back in the day, are married with children now, and they are in a much better place mentally.
You know I laughed when I read that....the only time I ever here 'size queen' referenced is when I'm with gay men, and they're gossiping about who is the biggest bottom, and who's the biggest size queen.
It's rare to hear straight men say that, lol! That post in and of itself made me laugh...
Most adult humor is in some fashion poort taste, but the shit sho' is funny (*in my best Shug Avery voice*)
I still work in the airline industry for atleast another month...and I am on vacay.....hmmmm
2 years, 1 month ago on Thinking Of Moving Abroad? Better Find Out Who’s ‘Packing’ Before You Start Packing!! (INFOGRAPHIC) | Beyond Black & White
Yes, Brenda, I agree with this sentiment. However, if you feel nothing when he's inside of you ...skill means jack shit.... ;-)
Good morning! It's nice to wake up to a peen post! It says that God loves us, and hears are pleas for sexual justice and satisfaction!
2 years, 1 month ago on Becoming Kerry Gabrielle Michelle
Essence, stop moderating your own articles before you even get into the body of the article. It seems as if you just want folks to agree with you, and there is no room for counter arguemnts or differeing opinions. If that is the case, why are you writing here, on this site, for a diverse audience. I know we don't agree on many things, and we may never...but you take away from your own 'cause' by being so off putting in the beginning. Also, as a writer, I understand it is annoying when people don't get your point, or they just flat out think your wrong. You court controversy, but then 'run screaming or changing' when it occurs.
After, I made it past the first little blurb...it was a pretty good article. I'm currently going through a career change, and I'm looking for an image consultant. I've been holed up in an office for over six years, and my current job we can wear sweats, shorts, etc. I'm well aware of the image that I portray at this particular job, and have no interst in doing so at my next place. I am currently crafting my image to something that suits my personality, and my new career. It's pricey, but it's worth it, and it's something that I've planned for awhile.
While outer image is important I believe that if you are not right on the inside, nothing that you do on the outside will shine as it should. Once your inside is right, and you are ok with who you are, and where you are going in life, and you believe that you can have and do better, and relieve yourself of toxic folks then it is much easier to get the other stuff right.
Ok...this guys is a douche......
HitchcockHeroine.....I don' know about that. Mafioso are quite religous....so God, and Jesus have set foot killing fields....rap is simply a verbal killing field.
2 years, 1 month ago on Check Out This HATE Letter By Dale Anderson, Bitter Black Man.
Great article Toni! I was just mentioning this samething in one of my FB groups. This epidemic of straight women, that are not IV drug users, prostitutes having unsafe sex, or blood transfusion recepients becomign infected reminds me of the early days of the GRID epidemic.
There were random cases of straight white, monogamous women who became infected with the virus. They were shocked. The doctors were shocked, and their husbands were shocked. Then upon further investigation...the husbands admit to sex with other men. Why bother using a condom? Men can't get pregnant, and up to that point all you needed was a penicilin shot. So, there are the married men visiting parks, bathhouses, and other random places for sex with other men. If you can't be honest with yourself about who you are, then you certainly won't do it with a partner.
Often times in the BC there are cries of homosexuality being a 'white people issue, because we don't have that problem.' I've known a few downlow dudes, and they never even thought of themselves as bisexual, let alone homosexual. Why? They didn't date men. They just had oral and anal sex with them, and that's not a relationship. So, since they are not dating men, then they weren't gay or bisexual. Please, God, do NOT ASK ME WTF THAT MEANS. I asked. Now, one of the guys he used condoms with every sexual encounter including with his gf (she had no clue about the men), the other guys recieved oral from men, and never said they did or didn't use condoms. I'm assuming since it was oral, that they didn't.
I can remember doing layovers in Turkey during my flight attendant years. We had a handler that was fine, and flirty as hell. I remember one morning seeing him coming out of one of my freind's, a male flight attendant, room. Well, about a week later, I was back in Turkey, and the same man was there for a date with a female flight attendant. He also had been with a flight attendant from another company (she told me all the gory details). I told both flight attendants that he had hooked up with my male friend (more gory details). The two female flight attendants did NOT believe me. Why? Basically, he was too masculine/macho (used interchangeably in this case) to be with men. I told them once, recommended that they either not sleep with him anymore, or use condoms (my male friend did). They both laughed at me.
Anyway, like everyone says VET. VET. VET.
2 years, 1 month ago on Monogamy Isn't A Condom: What You Don't Know <em>Can</em> Hurt You!
@MySmile @Toni_M @uninterracial
Quinoa is really good, so is couscous
2 years, 1 month ago on New Study Suggests Pretty Women Have Less Casual Sex Than Less Attractive Women. Why?
Also check for cocunut bread. Go to Juliene Bakery. They sell it by the loaf..it's expenisve but a nice substitue...
Check out a black girls guide to weight loss as well
Go to A Black Girl's guide to Weight Loss, Tony there are great recipes and ideas there! The buttermilk ranch dressing is incredible!
Have you ever thougth about almond bread? It's actually not too bad. You can also try wraps, and gluten free products...though you have to watch the sugar on some of them. Also, if you have a craving....give sweet potato's a shot....add either organic sugar, or honey, or grade b maple syrup (lower glycemic index)
@ieishah @Elegance @MySmile @Toni_M
Thank you Ieishah! You're posts are right on point. You can act as intellingent, level headed, and knowledgeable as you see fit. You can be as beautiful, and well put together as Diana Carroll (sp), Eartha Kitt, Kerry Washington and Michelle Obama all rolled into one, however....it doesn't matter when someone has a preconcieved notion about bw. You are allowed to respond to negative situations, you are allowed to be angry, or upset...but what you are NOT allowed to do is just start throwin' bows and cursin' folks out.
If there are men that are intimidated by you because of something some hood chick did, then there is an issue in the man. I know the difference between hillbilly's and the folks that grew up in my neighborhood.
Yes, we as women should def do our best to act in a way the becomes us. However, if someone can't tell the difference between a person who is rightfully upset at an injustice, and hood chick that takes her bad ass kids to curse out and fight a security guard...you are dealing with the wrong people.
I think we can all, on an indvidual level do our best to raise awareness in the different types of black women. That doesn't mean that others will not hold stereotypes, or still be afraid. Then again, are these the people that you want to be around anyway?
2 years, 1 month ago on Black Women Scare You? Get Real!
You know...I remember I was about 15 and my dad came home all smiling and laughing. He had a secret admirer at work. She had given him a card, and something else like flowers or chocolate or something. He came home and was telis ladling my mother about it. They laughed. Well, every time it happened he would bring it home and laugh. I walked into their bedroom during their laughter, and they showed me what was going on. I laughed too, an my 15 year old naivete put the card on the book case in their room next to some that my brother and I had given. My mother very calmly looked at me and said ' Uhuh, do NOT put that shit on my furniture'. She took it down and threw it in the trash! My father was laughing his ass off, and asking her why she was upset. She hit him with a pillow, lol. My dad then told me, that persons card had no place in our home. I didnt' get it then, but I do now...my dad is a good man, and my parents IMO have an honest marriage
2 years, 1 month ago on He put a ring on it, now what? The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
Dani-BBW I whole heardetly disagree with you girl! To just say that they're damaged is a gross over simplification, and a bit obvious. Everyone in that group is damaged to varrying degrees.
Fitz, right now, is showing extreme bitchassness by running back to Mellie. He also knows that is somehing that will hurt Olivia more than anything. Mellie is so desperate to look good, and powerful she will take any scraps that were given to her.
That peiece of Olivia that made her normal, and human to him was destroyed because of Verna's old cray cray ass. Also, he murdered a woman. At one point he was able to just be the golden boy and not get his hands dirty. The actions of the people who loved, and believed in him, or so he thought, has led him down a dirty road. Also, he believed he was detined to be president.
You can't claim to love someone, believe in them, and then do something that goes completely against that.
2 years, 1 month ago on OMG Fitz! Olivia! Dear God In Hebbin!!!
Interesting. My parents have been married for 51 years, and they both laugh at the idea of her submitting. Now, don't get me wrong...she cooks dinner, makes my dad's plate, keeps a clean home, worked outside the home, co parented with my dad.
My mother told me right before my father went in for a quadrupple bipass...'I don't know what I would do without you. You're the glue that keeps this family together.'
My father has CRAZY, MAD, RESPECT AND LOVE for my mother. Has she ever submitted to him? No, they would both laugh at that idea. However, she's done so many things for him because she truly loves him, and he honors her daily.
They are traditional in a lot of ways, but in others they are progressive.
WOW! What an excellent, well thought out, well written peice. I enjoyed it immensley.
I'm more of a low key feminist, and I believe that I was raised by a low key feminist. There were no marches, sit-ins or 'slut walks' but tons of independent decision making, discussion on various ideas from political to fashion. I was taught you can do bad by yousel, so don't settle for just anyone or anything.
I believe feminsm has become such a dirty word for several reasons. There maybe a disconnect in the definition. IMO, the power of femisim is SELF DETERMINATION. You, the woman, has the opportunity, right and power to determine which way her life will go. Breaking free of the constraints of a woman HAVING to wear skirts and dresses, or HAVING to stay at home, or HAVING to get married, or HAVING to date and marry within her race is an important part of the movement. If you want to be a loud, cursing, nut case or if you want to be a feminine, girly girl that wears a chastity belt then that is YOUR option. As long as you are aware of the consequences and ready to deal with them, good for you.
The biggest enemy of women IS women...IMO, men are just secondary to it. Women bash each other, call each other names, and generally blame one another for their short comings. If you sleep around more than I do...it's your fault I can't find a man. It's not because I maybe looking in the wrong place at the wrong people, but it's all you. Or it's your fault because you exercise restraint and choose not sleep around...so now it's your fault that guys only call me for sex. Maybe if I set boundaries I wouln't have this issue. So, IMO, instead of exercising some self restraint, we take the easy way out and blame one another. Men don't have to do anything, we do all the dirty work for them.
Now when people think of feminst, and even myself from time to time I get flashes of 'Dykes on Bikes' as opposed to Gloria Steinem. If there was a respect for difference, education and preaching of responsiblity for the choices that one makes I believe it would get us further.
I've never read Jezebel because quite frankly these women sound angry...for no reason. I'm not intersted in talking shit about breast feeding mothers, or making fun of women who've opted not to have sex, or are more reserved in their sexual choices. I personally enjoy learning from people who are exact opposite of me, because it forces me to step outside of my box and CONSIDER their point of view. I don't have to change mine, but it does help me understand.
At one point in my life, my group of friends was so very diverse....there were 'sluts', 'prudes', 'stoners', 'thinkers' male, females We were different, but the area that we were similar? Respect.
I've enjoyed the commentary on this post. It's been a nice exchange of ideas. My meds are kickign in....Viccodin...and I'm off to bed.
2 years, 1 month ago on Why has feminism become a dirty word?
Nicole I've travlled alone as well. I've been to Chile, Spain, Russa and Germany by myself. I'm in the process of moving to China....again, by myself. It is a bit nervewracking but it is very freeing as well. If you use caution, and I use youthhostels...things work out well.