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I enjoyed this article. Listen, I am a never married single mother of an adult child. I wanted more, but I refused to bring in another child into a not married situation. It is unfair to the children. I also refused to quickly find someone, and give him a 'daddy', so other people could approve of my life.
I did date, but not often,and he was rarely if ever introduced. I never had men spending the night at my home, or visiting late night hours 'because he was asleep and didn't know any better'. It just never sat right with me. As he got older we ran into the teen years....he is an alpha male with no father in our home, so you know that was very tough. I wouldn't've wished those years on my worst enemy. They were tough, time consuming, and I was depressed a lot in those years. So, there was no way in hell I would've had someone come into that situation. He's an adult now, so I'm off doing my thing. No man in the picture yet, but in time it will happen.
I have zero interest in men who have a million and one kids, that they can barely afford to take care of by women that they barely like let alone love. I don't want to deal with all of the drama. I was also suspicious of men that courted single women too easily. Children are a huge responsibility, and someone that continually jumped into these relationships makes me wonder if they are not targeting children at some point.
Honestly, I also wonder about men who've been married two or more times. They worry me more than the men who continually get random women pregnant. Do they leave when the honeymoon stage is over? Is marriage a game for them? Do they have the starter wife mentality?
When you're an adult, and serious about making a big life change you realize that there are a shit ton of duds out there. It can be daunting and annoying, but I am ready to give it a shot.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on Inside the Male Mind: Why Divorced Single Mothers Get a Pass and Why Never-Marrieds Often Don’t
I like your response to her question, Chris. The bell has been rung. You can't unring it, so proceed with caution.
The concern for me, is the huge age gap with the children. Does she let her guard down, and get caught up in the romantic love of the moment, and ignore the signs of a potential disaster/
Either way, I wish her luck.
3 weeks, 5 days ago on QOTW: “I Have Five Kids. Is It Too Late for Me to Swirl?”
Chris....why did you add that. Now, every time you mention him, I am going to get that Aerosmith song, 'Big 10' inch (I know you said 8, but you get the pic) flashing in my head.
3 weeks, 6 days ago on Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man’s penis.
Sorry, but I throw the bullshit flag on the faux concern. It's not concern. It's pure nosiness and gas lighting. One thing I've noticed people get concerned when you move on with your life. I don't care who black men date. I say every white, latino, asian, and other woman can have the black dudes. I am generally less attracted to black men. I get annoyed when white women start going on and on and on about the 'swagga' of their black man.
I have had many different rude ass comments made to me about my choices in partners. I remember when guy coming up to me, and saying "I'm sorry sista." At first, I was seriously confused, until they pointed at my brother kissing my friend. Then they went on with the I am sorry that you had to see that. I told them both that he was my brother and why were they apologizing. To which they responded, 'You don't even know enough to be offended. That's ok sista, we'll be offended for you.'
After I realized what the hell they were blathering on about, I explained to them both that while I thought my brother was an attractive young man, I had, and will have no desire to either make out or have any sort of sexual contact with him, because that is just plain nasty as hell. Those two idiots were fit to be tied.
I have a preference. I don't put black men down for mine, but they feel it's their duty to take me, and other bw to task for our choices.
I say.... "keep it movin', bruh'.
4 weeks ago on A Sister Reacts to Accusation of Race Betrayal
Wow! My thoughts and prayers are with you, and her family.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Death in the Family: ‘EarthJeff’ Loses His ‘Bee’
Oneika and Ieesha are two of my EXPAT SHEROES! I am so happy for them finding themselves and prospering abroad. I admire them both, and wish them nothing but the bless.
My black ass can not spell, and I do apologize for misspelling your beautiful names.
Thank you ladies for the inspiration. Please continue to live well, and inspire...
2 months ago on Oneika, our Favorite Traveller, Gets Engaged!
High value woman? Do you think she feels like a high value woman? I don't know her....but she did wait for a married man to divorce his wife, and get another woman pregnant while they were 'on a break'. Hell, Ross didn't get the girl pregnant, he just slept with her, and Rachel wanted nothing to do with him after that.
For Gabrielle's sake I hope it is everything she has dreamed of and waited for.....
2 months, 1 week ago on While Gabrielle Union Cries in Her Soup, Eve Celebrates Her Engagement, But Will There Soon Be News of Random Babies?!
Lorraine thank you for this! I have actually been to Reyivik on a turnaround when I was a flight attendant.
Girl, I was in the airport for no more than a few hours, and got chatted up quite a lot by some of the staff. I would like to go and actually spend sometime there. I think it would be an incredible time.
2 months, 1 week ago on Black Girls Traveling: Break Some Ice In Iceland
Thank you for this. You are one of, if not the best authors on this site. I agree with you.. Some who come to this site come to shame not to uplift and help. In whatever way, it makes them feel much better to be abusive, exclusionary, and ill mannered.
I enjoy your work.
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Message to the Lurkers: Not All of Us Are Preaching to the Choir
When I first saw this picture, I only saw her arms and her boobs. I looked at he, and thought she was anorexic....they didn't look like healthy, fit arms like the one super fit mom, they looked super skinny and awkward. However, after looking at her picture she looks skinny, but fit.
There are two sides to this story, with one eternal truth stuck in the middle. Women are always trying to one up one another, and put each other down. It is sad. I'm . so over selfies. My friends boyfriend is always taking selfies when we go out and it is freaking annoying and stupid.
Personally, I aim for a curvy, healthy, fit look. Now, this particular women is a WAG of a Norwegian or Danish footballer. I'm not any more impressed with her being in shape than I am with any other housewife with money and time on her hands.
I'm plus sized, and I believe in positive body image. Until you love yourself, you will not treat yourself right. Love yourself enough, to get healthy and be fit...whatever that is for you.
As far as skinny shamming, lol, I usually don't see too much of it. Mostly I hear people fat shamming, and that is skinny and fat people fat shamming. Personally, I say do you. Rock what you have, learn to love it, and take good care of it.
3 months ago on RANT: Want Us to Stop ‘Fat Shaming?’ Then STOP With the Skinny Shaming!!
Haven't watched the video yet, but I know you. I am proud to call you a friend. You are dynamic, inspiring peice of work.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Come Hither 101: Tracy Renee Jones Schools Us On How to Enchant the Opposite Sex!
I don't see the big deal. He is a fitness buff that wants to date another fitness buff. Then he should do that. My only thin with this guy is why are you accepting friend requests from big women? That's dumb as hell. You like what you like....ride it out, and don't waste your time on what you're not interested in.
I believe we should strive to be our personal best at all times. I believe physical fitness and great health is a personal must for black women. I'm not tiny, nor do I have an athletic build. I have curves......which I love. What I do not love, is the extra weight that I have, and am working on discarding.
I jus don't understand why everyone is all up in arms over this guys preference.....
11 months, 1 week ago on A White Guy's Honest Opinion About Black Women...and Their Weight.
I hurt for that child....beautiful piece....
11 months, 1 week ago on It's the LaLaLa From Halsted........
Tracy's words fit, and she' not randomly cursing people out in the comments section. There is a diference between art and belligerence. You will come to lean that.
11 months, 2 weeks ago on Sometimes the Words Don't Fit in My Mouth.........Makes Me Wanna Holla
Wow you are incredible, girl! That was great......I truly enjoyed it...
Go back and read what I wrote.....
12 months ago on Black Women Who are Acceptable in Film and TV
As ya'll know, my parents will be married 51 years in less than a week. My mother has her own retirement, checking account, savinggs, job, hobbies beliefs, etc. However, she was happy to take my dad's last name. So, yes. I would do it.
I don't believe all traditions are bad. I think it ads a certain cohesiveness to the family. I know it's odd, lol, a raging liberal like myself with some sort of tradition. Seriously, everyone has to follow their own set of moral beliefs, and do the right thing for them and their families....
12 months ago on Do you plan to change your last name when you get married? If so, you might want to think a bit more about that choice.
I love this. You are versatile. You bring folks together when other writers only can rip people apart. So good....one of my writing inspirations.
1 year ago on Like Bees to Honey: Be Charming...It's Totally Easy and Well Worth it!!
Only a true pussy has to put down an entire group of women, because they don't have the balls to own their own preferences...next....
OH, and I concur...not a fuck was given...
1 year ago on The Ultimate Touché: Blogger Lists Reasons To Date White Men in Response to Ice's Ode to White Girls!
I agree with DeepWater...I'm ready for these stories to be told as well, but it is nice to see these actresses making it further, a bit 'faster' in this buisness then in previous years. I think as more Shonda Rhymes' pop up.....people, meaning white folk in Hollywood with the wealth to prodcue and distribute will begin acknowledging the true diversity of our stories. However, I'm not holding my breath, lol....
Zoe is Latina, above all else....atleast that's what the Latina's tell me. They enjoy downplaying her race, lol. Not all, but when it comes up in discussions that is the first thing that s brought up, and the biggest thing played down. Isn't Naomie Harris English? IMO, I think being black and foreign is a plus in this sense.... you have to be able to supercede your blackness, and that def helps. I'm not saying it's any easier for foreign black actresses, but I think if they're trying to reach a wider, targeted audience then it can def be a plus.
1 year ago on Black Women Who are Acceptable in Film and TV