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@Pool Keepers Son Cock Block Jayhawk

1 week ago on KU Sends @KUboobs Cease and Desist

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Doesn't come with a drink, though. You'll need to purchase your own beverage.

1 week ago on The $1,000,000 Lunch

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I thought Murdock died when he drowned in the boiling pool of oil, or when he fell off that cliff, or when he was in that building that was demolished. That guy just won't die, you know?

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Chilean TV Show Apologizes After Puppet Says “Jews Burned Better Than Wood”

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@HollyGothic Nah, I write computer programs for a living. I do have a friend who is a professor of philosophy but I can never understand wtf he's talking about.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Space View of the OK Tornados

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You can tell it's a slow news day in Florida when the only story is a Chechen MMA fighter who might have been part of a terrorist bombing and also probably slashed three dudes' throats and then sprinkled weed on their corpses. Yawn.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Florida Man Shot by FBI Was About to Sign Boston Murder Confession

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I know this is tragic and everything, but can we PLEASE book a deathmatch between this guy and Kai?

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Man Beheaded in Possible London Terror Attack (NSFW)

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They shouldn't make that kid walk around with a handicap sign as a hat.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Hack Senior Prank Ends Like They All Do

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It wasn't because of the rental, it was because he offered his guests a large soda.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on New Yorkers, Do Not Post Your Place on Airbnb

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@StankEyeJones *woman I raped*

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Oh Canseco…What Have You Done?

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@Jackscolon Isn't it supposed to be "a riot and..."? Either way, *rimshot*

3 weeks, 6 days ago on English Defence League Clash With Police Over Machete Attack

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At least now they won't be able to interpret the score of the cubs game.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Chicago Approves The Biggest School Closing In U.S. History

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nice sneakers, Fatty

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Best Nip Slip Ever. Miranda Kerr Goes Topless. (NSFW)

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tl;dr

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Space View of the OK Tornados

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How is it that as we have become more informed about the state of the natural world, we have simultaneously become more shocked when it acts exactly the same way it's always acted? My family in OKC got hit by this, but they just talk about it the same way they did in '99. Sucks but so does life. They have been fortunate enough to survive without injury each time, and they're happy about that, but they also don't shit their pants when the same shit that always happens happens.

Death and destruction by natural causes used to be a thing that happened and saddened us. Now it's something we spend months and trillions talking about and trying to avoid. Can't it just be okay that some people die sometimes? Can't that fact be an incentive to lead better lives and contribute, rather than it being an incentive to be scared and reactionary?

I'm pretty sure that if we weren't all so fucking scared of dying, we might actually start being scared of leading meaningless lives. The latter fear is productive, while the former only acts to make itself last longer.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Space View of the OK Tornados

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There's two kinds of people in the world

The day people and the night people.

And it's the night peoples' job

To get the day peoples' money.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Jersey Bars are Stealing Your Money

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For people who chase tornadoes, these guys sound like they've never seen a tornado before.


Just head to Aunt Meg's guys, she makes killer steak and eggs.

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Footage Of This Weekend’s Oklahoma Tornado

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We're up all night to make Jack a dull boy.

We're up all night to make Jack a dull boy.

We're up all night to make Jack a dull boy.

We're up all night to make Jack a dull boy.

1 month ago on Daft Punk’s “Contact” synced with 2001: A Space Odyssey

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Something smells fishy here.

1 month ago on Brittney Griner Told Not To Discuss Being Gay At Baylor

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More like Saratoga Choke

1 month ago on Saratoga Chick’s Preakness Day Picks

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I'm fine with it, and while we're at it can we start having good parking spaces that are reserved for non-handicapped drivers? Amirite?

1 month ago on Whites-Only Scholarship Under Fire for Some Reason

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