I invested all my money in "smoke pants"
Obviously there are different rules in cereal land!
21 hours, 44 minutes ago on Cap’n Crunch is a Dirty Liar
They had 4 children out of wedlock!? They're going to hell for sure.
1 day, 11 hours ago on The Most Romantic Nazi Wedding Proposal You’ll See Today
I invented that bit, hoo hoo!
1 day, 11 hours ago on Interrupting Telemarketers
The editing was as smooth as the play itself!
1 day, 11 hours ago on The Mets Are Laughably Bad As Evidenced by This Vine
He shoulda gone upstairs, stupid git!
1 day, 19 hours ago on The Old 1860s Bar Prank
You sir are a smart man!
1 day, 19 hours ago on Nigella Lawson Seen Being Choked By Her Husband
Parents are the biggest problem with youth sports!
1 day, 22 hours ago on Attacks On Refs Could Be On The Rise
I have a ton of respect for Dave, simply for doing what he did. Life is bigger than money!
1 day, 22 hours ago on Dave Chappelle to Headline Comedy Tour
Is he running for office?
2 days, 11 hours ago on Jeff Garlin Arrested
What I want to know is, did he buy the drinks for the whole bar afterwards? It is customary.
2 days, 11 hours ago on U.S. Open Hole In One
Actually, my wife helped me with that.
3 days, 8 hours ago on China Wants Its Own Panama Canal in Nicaragua
Don't worry this planet will be here long after we are gone.
Well I'll be, I guess weeble wobbles DO fall down!
Shit, I'm old!
3 days, 8 hours ago on The Mets Drop One (Fan) To St. Louis
We are all doomed!!
3 days, 8 hours ago on More Than Half of the Senate Skipped the NSA Meeting
It's fast food, what do you expect? Now lighten up Francis!!
3 days, 23 hours ago on This Guy Wants a Cheeseburger Not a Hamburger
Why is anybody surprised? He stole the freedom from Pussy Riot just because they made him look foolish!
4 days ago on Putin Stole Pats Owner’s Super Bowl Ring
And all worked up!!
4 days, 1 hour ago on Pregnant Teen Boys
I'll bet if they try real hard they could get that down to 10! C'mon boys show us what you got!!
4 days, 2 hours ago on Hall of Famer Says Pro Football Has 20 Years Left
You're complaining about a comic book movie!? Aren't you supposed to be an adult!?
4 days, 2 hours ago on Fox News Guy Whines That Hollywood Left Out His Hero, Jimmy Olson
Royal Tennenbaum. He pretended to have stomach cancer for his kids. Now that's love!
4 days, 11 hours ago on The Weekender: Fictional Dads