Livefyre Profile

Activity Stream

@Caribqueen What were the topics you liked to read about? Maybe that would help the writers with knowing what to write about. 

7 hours, 42 minutes ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

Reply

Fangirls always get crazy when their favorite actors date someone other than who they want them to date. I've never understood the celebrity obsession, even when I was a preteen and supposed to care about all that stuff.

7 hours, 43 minutes ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

Reply

@dani-BBW @Rubywoo23 George Clooney definitely married up. 

11 hours, 52 minutes ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night

Reply

@mzsunshine "cornrows as a white woman's innovation"

Bwahahahahahaahaha!!!! 

11 hours, 57 minutes ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night

Reply

@LovelyLulu @Brenda55 The anxiety is normal, hon. But living life as your genuine, authentic self is totally worth it.

13 hours, 27 minutes ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

Reply

I remember that "Wing Woman" post. :) Way to go, am glad you took that advice to heart and are living well, D!


Amina, I'm glad to see that you have taken control of your life as well!



6 days, 20 hours ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

Reply

The more I read posts like these, the more I believe I should write a practical blog on "vetting" for young marriage-minded women. I'm in my twenties, and unfortunately, I see a lot of women my age making life-damaging choices based on assumptions that aren't serving them. It scares the crap out of me.

6 days, 20 hours ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

Reply
@Sameriah, you are right to be picky, especially if you plan on having children someday. Not only are you choosing a future husband, you are also choosing the future father of your kids. You don't want just any old dude raising your children, right? Or seeing dysfunctional behaviors and growing up ill-equipped to be productive members of society.

You are the forward-thinking one. Unfortunately, a lot of people are thinking of their own comfort, as in, having a man or a child just to have one and not be lonely. Ugh.

1 week ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

Reply

@UhuraLovesSulu I'm just jealous that you have a boyfriend that looks like Daniel Henney.


Awesome post. 

1 week ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

Reply

@Marysayz I meant to reply to you--thanks for clarifying and apologizing. That's pretty rare on the interwebs! 

For future reference, you can delete comments you can no longer edit--just go toward the bottom left-hand section of your comment, and the "delete" function should appear. 

1 week, 3 days ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

Reply

@ajrocks12x @Brice Cameron "Conversely, it is more rational and logical that someone who has not been so conditioned would be more likely to have an open mind and be more inclined to rationally look at the issue without the emotional baggage attached."

It sounds as though you are implying that your brand of "conditioning" translates to a lack of conditioning in that space...when in reality it might simply be a different type of conditioning entirely. 


"If you and many others allegedly have more experience than I, in the digs that white people give to black people, then it is highly probable that because of those digs, you are more inclined to see racism even when none is intended than I would simply because of your socialization."

Let me jump off this so that I can explain my position a little bit. Let's say there are people who see racism even when none is intended because they are socialized under a color or race-consciousness paradigm. (I only categorized and named the paradigm for ease of explanation.)

It does not necessarily follow that people who aren't color-conscious are more objective about racism because they lack that color consciousness that other people have. The lack of color consciousness doesn't mean that they lack any kind of conditioning--it's just as possible that they are socialized under another paradigm, one which I would call a colorblindness paradigm.  Since they, too, are socialized, they too, will have a bias...but it will be in another direction...for example, dismissing racism even when it is occurring. 


 


1 week, 3 days ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

Reply

@altoka @Kimber2013 Omg...the idea of this woman being a paid professional troll just cracks me the heck up. This is why I can't take most media seriously. I feel like a lot of it is trolling, sometimes without our realizing it. 

1 week, 5 days ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

Reply

@Chicago404 "If I looked like her id be mad too." 


bwahahahahaha! 

1 week, 5 days ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

Reply

I actually want to watch the show because the concept is intriguing to me, but ESPECIALLY because Shonda had a hand in it and Viola is the lead actress. 


As far as the article goes, I read the original and I just don't understand the point. It was so poorly written that I couldn't even bring myself to be offended. 

1 week, 5 days ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

Reply

Man...I used to wish for my mom to put beads on my braids when I was younger. All the "cool" girls did it when I was young...well, all the girls who braided their hair, except me.


I really think that it was mostly that my mom didn't want to bother with the beautifully intricate hairstyles in the pictures up there. It was usually pigtails or four braids, and call it a day. Lol. 


1 week, 5 days ago on TBT: Brown Girls Rocking Beads on Braids

Reply

@Geekette221B Off-topic, but how do you do the accent mark (like you did with Daniele's name)?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Update on Danielle Watts: BB&W Exclusive Interview with Boyfriend, Brian

Reply

Everybody talking about the Cinderella movie with Brandy in it. Here's the full one:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwU8J_d2gqQ


It came out when I was a child and I absolutely LOVED it. 


I'm also loving that Keke Palmer just seems to embrace versatility in terms of her acting roles. 

2 weeks, 1 day ago on First Photos of Keke Palmer Playing Cinderella on Broadway!

Reply

@Marysayz I get your point...but is the vitriol necessary? I don't even know if your language is within the bounds of the terms of service. 

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

Reply

@Arabella12 @tonyrog "Women believe that being equal to men means they are the same as men."

YEP. I thought I was the only one who noticed this.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

@Harold13 @dani-BBW You should give yourself credit. :)  I'm sure that you've improved more than you realize.


Oh, by the way--I found this article and I thought of you. 


http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/


2 weeks, 3 days ago on Ask a White Guy: Older Men, Younger Women?

Reply

@SacLove76 I suspect that a lot of sociopaths and psychopaths enter this profession for the power. No accountability for them, so they can run wild. It spells danger for the rest of us.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

Reply

@LorMarie Right, this whole thing makes so little sense that I'm just waiting to hear what the couple has to say. 

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

Reply

@Arabella12 @Christelyn  @LanieceMilan I think the point Christelyn was trying to make is that black women are used more often for sex by black men than by white men (since more black women are having sex with black men than white men).


Many black women don't attach such a stigma to black men who evidently see black women as good only for sex...and you could even argue that they don't vet black men half so well since they're not busy thinking of whether or not they are a sexual fetish to the man in question.


The dynamics are slightly different...but the outcome is the same: a black woman is being used for sex. So the whole "white men with a sexual fetish" or "bucket lister who just wants to try out chocolate" boogeyman is kind of a moot point. 


If you know how to evaluate a man's intentions, then you're more likely to avoid being the victim of either scenario.





2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

@Christina_lott99 Happy to hear from you. I hope the advice didn't hit you too hard and that you give yourself the time you need to adjust and heal.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

@Arabella12 @SacLove76 Wait...did I miss something? Did she say that she was "average to plain"?

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

Part II: He doesn't take me seriously because I'm black--


Okay, I'm sure this does happen and I won't invalidate the experiences of those who have gone through this. I, however, have never really had this problem. Who really even knows why I haven't? Maybe I'm not the type that bucket listers target; maybe it's where I live, or where I socialize, etc. It could be a variety of factors that make the experience.


In this case, however, there is no way to be sure because of the situation. It would honestly just be projection at this point. A scenario where race might have been the issue was if you had met online or in person and didn't frontload your conversations with sex talk.  Yet he still only wanted to see you in private only during certain nighttime hours, and refused to introduce you to friends and family, but took out a white girl in public or to meet his relatives...okay, you might actually have a case there.


But I'm not going to lie...I understand why you made that projection. And it saddens me.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

It sounds like there are two different issues going on with the letter writer here. I'll cover each issue in a separate comment.


1. From One Night Stand/Jump-off/Friends-with-benefits to Committed Relationship


That really only happens in movies like the one with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJS-wWqVAyk

...or Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubfcfs98MBw


...or Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7GwjDTvO4c

Uh-oh, I'm beginning to get a sense of where people might be getting the wrong idea about relationships.


Annnnnyway, in general, (from my experience), the way you begin things is normally the way you end them. You usually can't turn a casual type of relationship into something more. And the two of you met on an adult website, so...that's kind of what it is.

You do sound a bit like you regret not meeting up with him again. I think maybe you knew deep down that it wasn't going to be what you wanted it to be, so you avoided falling further into the trap by meeting with him again. The unfortunate thing is that, on a surface level, you obviously wanted to be with him, so you hung on to the possibility through all those texts.

"The purpose of our texts were for sex, but part of me felt that he may have been open to more.. which is my reasoning for having held on, stringing him along, hoping that his want for me would become stronger."

I just want to reiterate that this does NOT usually happen with men, except in Hollywood movies. In your case, definitely not since you met on a website specifically for the purpose of hooking up.


2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

@LanieceMilan In your situation, maybe. However, in this case, since she found him on a hook-up site...


The way you begin things is the way you end them.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

Reply

@DarnellThomas



After reading your post...I just wanted to note something interesting.


I've seen a lot of black men speaking from the paradigm that blacks should stick together and unify, and that blacks who don't stick to this paradigm are traitors to the black race. 


I also notice from this same trend from white feminists--that "all women" should stick together and unify, and that women who don't stick to this paradigm are traitors to the sisterhood.


Now some black women get a similar message from both sides, noting with amusement, bafflement, and/or frustration that sometimes people in the both of the aforementioned groups don't realize that in a black woman's life, both racism and sexism are factors, so sole allegiance to either "cause" doesn't really cover everything that black women face.



2 weeks, 5 days ago on Black Militants Call ESPN Journalist, Jemele Hill “Race Traitor”; “Bed Wench” for Calling Out Ray Rice Disparity

Reply

@terrametoome " I see them as being a burnt greasy hamburger patty that's been rolled in bugars and dropped on a roach infested floor, with a rude clerk demanding $8.99 for that. I rather stay organic, thank you very much!"

Oh, the imagery!! Hahaha.


And the butt crack thing?  Omg, are you serious? What a mess.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”

Reply

Side note: this is proof that you (Christelyn) don't think that "all black men are bad," like the naysayers like to put out there.


Anyway...my answer to the question is date whoever the heck you want. It really is that simple. 



2 weeks, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”

Reply

@jazzyfae45 Wow. Take care of yourself. Maybe remove the link to your Google account in your livefire profile temporarily. 


I hope you just blocked and didn't bother to reply. That he went that far shows that he is probably unstable and has no sense of personal boundaries. 

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Militants Call ESPN Journalist, Jemele Hill “Race Traitor”; “Bed Wench” for Calling Out Ray Rice Disparity

Reply

@caligirl94117 @onmywayup Never thought of it this way.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ask a White Guy: Older Men, Younger Women?

Reply

@SuaveNorwood @BeautyIAM Being of equal value does not mean we are equal in every single way.


Men and women are, on average, different sizes. We have different anatomies. One gender births babies and the other doesn't. Let's not play dumb and act like just because men and women are of equal value means they are the SAME in every way. 

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Militants Call ESPN Journalist, Jemele Hill “Race Traitor”; “Bed Wench” for Calling Out Ray Rice Disparity

Reply

@Brenda55 @caligirl94117 @SuaveNorwood @kiki jones In high school, I was the "wallflower" who couldn't even get the nerdy dudes...actually I had better luck with the more popular guys (seriously!). Go figure.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Militants Call ESPN Journalist, Jemele Hill “Race Traitor”; “Bed Wench” for Calling Out Ray Rice Disparity

Reply

@ChristieRJohnson Sorry. I wasn't making a statement about the older women + younger men combo.


I was replying @docwatson223's comment:


"One observation that I don't see here are negative comments about cougars and sabretooths; it seems to be socially acceptable for a woman to do it because she's being sexy versus a man doing because he's judged as just being a 'creepy old man'."


I am just pointing out that so-called cougars receive backlash just as so-called creepy old men who pursue young women do.



2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ask a White Guy: Older Men, Younger Women?

Reply