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@BeautyIAM @cjdimplez Lol that he used Kanazawa's study. When the data from the study that hack was summarizing was looked at correctly, it was found that there was really no difference in attractiveness among women.
23 hours, 43 minutes ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
@PaoloP @itsgoodtobeme What does "soft" mean? Man, I underestimate how expert some people are at making no sense whatsoever.
I agree with you, @PaoloP--sounds like SERIOUS sour grapes.
23 hours, 49 minutes ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
@Atlantic_Equity @Selmix @BeautyIAM Honestly, I don't need any dude to worship the ground I walk on. Not even the ones I date in real life. I know they like me, enjoy my company, and find me attractive, and if for whatever reason, we're not compatible, then we end our relationship and that's that.
But if someone thinks I'm low value because of my race? Wtf? Those people have effed up value systems and I don't even want them within 5,000 miles of my mental space.
I don't even need to know them. I'd rather die single than deal with someone who has that consciousness. And that is not too much for any sane woman to ask.
23 hours, 56 minutes ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
@Keioni @Selmix @BeautyIAM @Atlantic_Equity agreed. This is f***ing ridiculous.
1 day ago on Propaganda Ramping Up On Black Women Dating and Marrying Interracially
Screw that dude.
@Cheree From the movie Friday:
3 days, 17 hours ago on “Bye Felicia,” a Modern-Day Mammy Show Coming Soon on VH1
Great article, Matthew! Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
3 days, 22 hours ago on Matthew’s Weight Loss Journey: “I Was Living a Lie…”
This natural look is amazing.
3 days, 22 hours ago on Creamy, Smooth, Holiday-Photo-Ready Skin and Make Up!
3 days, 22 hours ago on “Bye Felicia,” a Modern-Day Mammy Show Coming Soon on VH1
I loved your takeaways in this post, Leona.
4 days, 20 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures
@MissyMorose Awesome. I wish you and your friend the best of luck. :)
@SavageTango " Red hair just has this "yuck factor" to it that the world really doesn't need, ya know?"What? No. I love the redheads.
Aside from blondes and Indian men, they are my favorites. :)
6 days, 3 hours ago on AAWG: The Savage Plan for the Swirling Man
@dreamingmydreams I used to be bullied by these girls all the time, just for (seemingly) not wearing the right clothes.
So when the girl in the video talked crap about his jacket being from the 90s, I was like, "Oh, here we go again..."
6 days, 3 hours ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@kennaGransberg @Harold13 That was awful.
@BreannaNouveaux Don't worry, I get what you're saying after reading the entire comment thread. You are a different type of human being, Breanna. :)
6 days, 4 hours ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@Allie8_79 You see, at least your brother is honest. I wish more BM were honest about this agenda so that more BW realize that they are being played.
6 days, 4 hours ago on Black Female-Centered Media is Coming Around to Our Side, but is It Only Because the NY Post Said it Was Okay?
@Christelyn That poor woman.
6 days, 4 hours ago on Sad News. Jacque Reid Pulled Out if the IR Dating Challenge, and it’s All Over the New York Post
@EqualOppLover Random comment, but you two (in the pic) make a cute couple!
@dani-BBW @ibetnoonehasthisusername Geez...well, if that's what happened, then I don't blame her for pulling out at all. Shame on those folks! I don't know why some of these media sources seem to think it's fun to paint black women as undesirable or desperate.
@Cami2210 @onmywayup @MizzCinderella No--I don't think it took three years. It's just that 3 years ago is when I started cutting out the sugar. I can't remember when the cravings stopped, honestly. It was one of those things where one day, I realized that I wasn't really craving that stuff anymore. Maybe a year ago? Two years? I really can't remember. :(
6 days, 5 hours ago on Obesity Wins Again. My Half-Sister Is Dying.
@Cami2210 @MizzCinderella I used to be a sugar addict--as in I had to eat ice cream every day or I'd feel awful--tired, irritable, and in need of going on the hunt (to get some source of sugar).
I started out by cutting out soda, then ice cream, then cookies...now I hardly ever eat any refined sugar at all. (Maybe a dark chocolate bar during that time of the month.)
Three years after I started, I can truly say that yes, the cravings go away. I promise.
Christelyn, I just signed in to say that I'm sorry to hear about your sister. :(
@MarthaLankford @NicoleLittle @trinigirl1 ewwwww.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…
@Windsinger @McKenzieGirl Aww, @Windsinger...congrats!
@MarishaHall Sorry to hear that. :(
@Olivia2016 "But let's just keep pretending that these men are Heathcliff Huxtable."Now you know I had to laugh at this.
@Brenda55 @AdvisorGary Well...I understand the purpose of the spiritual teachers. But I think it would be more beneficial if we started looking to them as resources and not as necessities. Like maybe I want to get an opinion from someone who has gone to theological school and has studied the religious texts in ways that I haven't. But I personally don't feel like I HAVE to go to a building or listen to a minister talk to understand what I need to understand. I'm not dependent on them to live my life.
I do a lot of writing as part of my work. (Don't let the rambling on this site fool you :D) I do have mentors, and at one point, even had a coach, but most of the work I do is on my own. And if a mentor says something that doesn't work for me, I don't do it.
That's how I view some of these entities (church, clergy, etc.)--as resources yet not as necessities.
That's my opinion, though. I fully recognize that what works for me may not work for others.
@Statuesque "But Christianity has never had a unified message and probably won't ever have one. There is too much cultural diversity in its followers, too much variation in its texts, too much disagreement among its religious authorities (much less followers) and no proof that one way is the only way."
You know, I'm not going to lie. I agree with you, even though I'm a Christian. Some of the comments I'm reading here, I can't even relate to at all--so it just reminds me of our varied human experience even within the church.
Perhaps this is why I've never been so up in arms about what religion (or not) people choose to follow. (But, oooh, my family? There are some family members who will cut you even for switching Christian denominations!) I recognize that each person's experience is so varied and individual that one "message" may be heard many different ways. And that's okay with me. I think a lot of this comes down to being threatened by difference.
@Ara Jazz "I'm not saying that all believing women should date nonbelievers, but I am saying that they too should be an option because character must always be the trump card in the deciding factor. (Yeshua was notorious for pointing out the flaws of the religious while praising the good character(s) of those who were considered sinners) If Matt treats you better than John, and Matt is a non believer, then obviously you should be with Matt. Just because you share the same beliefs as someone does not restrict you to date only within that category. Think about Ruth and Esther. Although a Jew, Esther married a non believing man. And Ruth was a Moabite before she married a Jew, and then she converted to his faith. The context from which unequally yoked comes from is common sense. What is meant by this is do not marry a person that you are not compatible with. If that person mocks your faith, obviously he is not for you. But if he is kind and generous and loving then you should consider him as a potential mate. It pains me to see so many woman pass up great mates so that they can marry a so called Christian one who generally knows nothing about his "faith." "
This is an interesting point you mentioned. How many of us Christians were taught only to look for someone of the same "religion"? But I agree with you. It's about character. And just because two people are Christians does not mean that they have compatible character, and that they are more compatible than someone who is Christian and someone who is not.
Thanks for emphasizing this.
@International_Responder Yep--it's probably one of the smartest and most relevant spam comments I have ever seen...
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?
@coco78728 @PaoloP @newSavannah2222 @oekmama Shame on him! Seriously. That is f***ed up.
Oh, I do think this post has valid points. There is a lot of corruption out there in churches, and I think it is worth talking about so that people who are Christians know what to look for. For example, if a church is overly focused on getting your money (even if they spin it to make it seem like YOU'RE getting the blessings)...then it's probably a bad sign.
We talk a lot about vetting men. I'm going to say this--vetting applies to your entire life. Vet your men. Vet your churches! Look up their budgets and see where the money is going to. I go to a church that takes offerings, but doesn't pressure people to donate further than, "Okay, we're passing around the offering plate now." And most of their money goes to philanthropic efforts.
Study the Bible for yourself. Different translations may be ideal. Some are better for understanding application; some are better for understanding historical context. Don't be afraid to check what your pastor has said against what the Bible says.
I mean, that's just the beginning. But if you're serious about your relationship with God, then take that relationship into your own hands. Don't let it be directed by someone else. It's your belief, and your relationship.
Oh, and while we're talking about vetting--vet your family members. Some may be toxic and you may need to limit communication. Blood is thicker than water...but blood often gets very sticky and messy. Vet the neighborhoods you choose to live in, too--as we've seen in other threads, it really does influence the qualities of your life.
Heck, even vet the websites you visit. If you can't take the anti-black woman sentiment of certain websites, then don't visit them. Ever.
You get to decide how your life goes. You get to decide that you demand more from your life, because you're better than what you have.
To the person who wrote the article--I get what you're saying. You sound as though you've learned an important lesson and just wanted to share so that others can do the same. Good for you for learning, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a partner.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage with Kids…
@PaoloP @newSavannah2222 @oekmama Seriously? He would have left his wife out in the cold to assert his masculinity? Weak and pathetic.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?
@newSavannah2222 @kennaGransberg "Did you hear when Chris said her husband never called her the n word and Sybil said " No. Just not to your face". "
That is ignorant as hell.
@MarthaLankford @Allie8_79 @Neecy "Not everyone is aware that they should challenge ideas."That's a good point. Critical thinking isn't exactly a skill that's taught...well, anywhere, to be honest.
@TheBlkQAmidala @Cami2210 @Myka Fisher @BreannaNouveaux "Many people ask me "So, why don't you date more BM; they understand 'your struggle'"Heck, some of them *cause* more struggle, as evidenced by @Cami2210's post about how many bw experience childhood sexual abuse.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on So…Street Harassment is Important Now That White Women Are the Focus?
@Lala88 If a bw does it, I hope she has some bodyguards. Or pepper spray. Or a gun.
@thecrazyartist @Neecy A lot of churches are running scams. People need to be cautious as sociopaths are drawn to certain professions, and I believe clergyperson is one of them.
On the other hand, after reading Christelyn's other post about people being okay with dysfunction, I am beginning to think that some people just don't want to take responsibility for their poor choices, as @Neecy has been saying. On the one hand, they want to defend their right to make such poor choices, but then blame others when things go wrong.
Sorry folks, it doesn't work that way.
@BreannaNouveaux @Bren82 You need to write a blog. Or a series of blog posts here. Your posts are always full of epicness!!!
You and @Vivaforever have a way of breaking it down in your comments.
@lindsaynagle The guy in the video is BEYOND disgusting.
@MikeStStation @Keioni In a serious relationship, I probably would disclose my medical history.
Things like infertility and certain genetic diseases, terminal illnesses, HIV/AIDS, etc.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Holding Your Past Against You!
@dani-BBW @Keioni I'm of the exact same opinion.
3 weeks ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Holding Your Past Against You!
@Keioni "some men are interested in her character, values, and CURRENT attributes"
But this is a question of values. Just like how some consider money and attractiveness as highly important. There are many that insist that "this shouldn't be important"...but hey, that's their value system.
Similarly, those men who ask their partners how many previous partners they have had also have a particular value system. Some people believe in sexual double standards; some people believe a relationship shouldn't have "secrets," and who knows what other reasons are out there. Maybe there are some men who think prior promiscuity is an indicator of their current orientation toward relationships. Someone who has had 40 partners probably has a different attitude about sex than someone who has only slept with 3 people. (Though, personally, I'm of the opinion that there are better ways to find out how someone views sex, but that's another discussion.)
To me, what it means is that these people are simply vetting for what's important to them. If it's not important to the person they are vetting, then they are not meant to be together, and they can both move on.
But it is definitely a "value" and a core compatibility issue here.
On the flip side, @MikeStStation, sometimes there are men who use your past to manipulate you. But that's abuse for you. Abusers will use whatever fodder they can against you. I think the bigger picture of Christelyn's message is that women need to keep their eyes open for signs of boundary busting or abuse. Asking about your sexual history is merely a tactic...and without context, might not even mean anything. However, it's helpful to view it in light of the overall patterns of a classic abuser.
@SavageTango Apology accepted. :)
3 weeks ago on So…Street Harassment is Important Now That White Women Are the Focus?
@Myka Fisher @BreannaNouveaux "My WM boss actually grabbed my a**."That is disgustingly bold. Wow.
@Browncow, lifefyre wouldn't let me reply to your post, so am replying here.
@SavageTango The context behind it matters. If we all lived in a world where saying "hi" just meant saying hi, then we really wouldn't have to worry about street harassment.
But unfortunately, sometimes "hi" means "you'd better respond to me the way I want to, or I will curse you out, or beat the crap out of you, and/or rape you."
That said, I'm usually not bothered by men saying "Hello, how are you?" if there are no conditions behind it.
Oh, and before someone gets on me...I know not all men are rapists.
@oekmama Interesting, considering how much she is disrespected here in the US.
3 weeks ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States 2. Gems from the Thread
@BrownZara @caligirl94117 @ChocolateDiva I like Amsterdam; haven't been since I was a child though.
3 weeks ago on SHARE: Dating Outside of the States
@kiki100 "Black American woman are more likely to have something in common with American (and even European) men, of any color."
I meant "women."