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So salty PJD don't start getting crazy yet, pace yourself. We've got lots of anger and football rage to look forward to this year still. 

1 week, 4 days ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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@CollegeWolf agreed Wolfenstein GoG is hilarious.

1 week, 4 days ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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I wonder if he just gave the sword magical powers now. It is now longsword of +2 accuracy.

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Ahhh yiss. Perfect time to bust out my AD/X-Men fanfic. ...And then Professor X looked over to coach Zimmer and said, "What an extraordinary team you've got there Zim, can't believe they finished last in the division." And coach Zimmer turns and looks back at the professor and says, "Don't fucking sass me q-ball, or AD's gonna make your squad as dead as those legs you drag around in that wheelchair." The Professor and the coach eyes' were locked in a steely embrace that threatened to tear apart their fragile alliance. Just then a voice chimes in from the back of the room, "Lol bros anybody up for ordering pizza?" Coach Zimmer and Professor X slowly turn and in unison mutter, "Goddamnit Ponder." Then AD, Wolverine and Cyclops walk out of the room as Ponder starts making fart noises with his armpit.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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You had me at, "Hey 29..."

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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@PJD @spinmcallister Nope that'd benefit Ponder and hurt Teddy. 

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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I came here for neck vagina references, where are the neck vagina references? 

4 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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CollegeWolf, quick.  Ponder, Bridgewater and Cassel.  You make to marry one, fuck one and kill one. Ready.... go!

4 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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That crazy sumbitch Jack Nicholson was right, I can't handle the truth.

1 month, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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RIP K-Will, your spirit lives on inside all of us.

2 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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So does this mean that every time I take off my shirt I'm now wearing a Ponder jersey? 

2 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/if-ponder-played-shirtless-he-wouldnt-be-in-this-situation.html

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I hear Robocop can analyze your blood's THC content from just your sweat. Jerome Simpson gonna straight NOPE out of both Lions games if that is true. 

2 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/lions-sick-of-being-made-fun-of-sign-robocop-to-team.html

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Barry Sanders has no more tears to cry.

2 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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PJD is the best source for honest journalism in the world today.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Ha! Even more irrelevant, might as well be a dragon or a hammer or some shit.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-nfl-draft-or-bust-off-vikings-select-ol-david-yankey.html

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PS the jerseys are stupid.  That 66 just looks ridiculous.  Vikings stop trying to make the horn numbers happen, its never gonna happen.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-nfl-draft-or-bust-off-vikings-select-ol-david-yankey.html

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What do you think about "Crocodile Yankey". (It only works if you say it with the Australian accent.) I watched some tape on the dude and I liked it. He seems to be a good run blocker, pulls and gets out front and crushes dudes. Pass protection... well we're not a passing team so who gives a shit. Also I thought I read recently he just became a U.S. citizen. Maybe we traded for him and sent back Mel Gibson.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-nfl-draft-or-bust-off-vikings-select-ol-david-yankey.html

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Sometimes the dude has like a burst of speed and burns people only to have them slowly catch up. Its like they hit the turbo button or something. Life imitates art for McSpinnon.

3 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Damn player! You beat me to Andromeda Pain... I was trying to think of some nicknames after I watched tape on these dudes right after the draft and that was the coolest one I could come up with at the time.  My others were very second tier Jurassic Pork, Dongo (like Congo but his dong, in some butts). What I saw on tape was they put this dude everywhere on the d-line and he's good against the pass. He seems to be not as good against the run though.

3 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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The only knock on him I could find is poor deep ball accuracy and lack of personality. Hopefully Norv can help him with both. So excite.

3 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Absofuckinglutely! I think AP may be more important to the development of Teddy Touchdown than anyone else on the team. It'll take the pressure off him and let him grow into the role just like Russel Wilson and Kaepernick have had the opportunity to do. Thanks for the fantastic post, this needs to be out in the football interwebs.

3 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Agreed. I'm not thrilled but I gotta believe Zimmers got a plan.

3 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/vikings-draft-olb-anthony-barr.html

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I think Slick Rick is smoke screening. If we can get a third round pick for him in the draft I think we take it.  But even that may be too high to ask for as there are still supposed to be some workable QB's available at that time.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/freeponder.html

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"I don't want a large Farva, I want a goddamn liter of cola!" said Zack Mettenberger before he smoked a bunch of weed before the combine, probably.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Holy shit balls, I haven't laughed that hard when dropping a deuce at work in like forever! Good times.  Seriously hilarious article keep up the good work you silly son of a bitch.  Also I hope to God Manziel is gone by pick 8 so we don't even have to debate drafting him.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-who-ya-gonna-draft-johnny-manziel.html

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Agreed. Bridgewater looks great in game tape and is smart enough to pick up Norvs new confusing offense. The only knock I can see is he doesn't throw a very good deep ball, but I'm sure that can be improved upon.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/2014-who-ya-gonna-draft-teddy-bridgewater.html

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I predict 12-4. That's 12 unplanned pregnancies and 4 early terminations. Its gonna be a great year, I can feel it!

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/we-review-the-2014-minnesota-vikings-schedule.html

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Also can you imagine the pure hilarity and locker room hijinx that would go on with having Matt Kalil and Khalil Mack on the same roster?  Zimmer - "Khalil come over here." Kalil-"But I'm standing right here coach." Zimmer-"Not you, I'm talking to Mack." Kalil-"But my name is Matt!" Zimmer-"Not Matt, Mack!" Then Zimmer punches Ponder in the face and the whole time Norv's vagina neck just quivers in the background.

Good times Vikings, good times...

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Mack is super-stud-#1-A-ok guy.

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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That would be a beautiful day. Run C.J. run like the wind.

3 months, 3 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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He probably didn't start playing there because of it, but I am certain that the hard salami is the reason why Rodgers is sticking around in Green Bay.  I mean what else could it be...?

3 months, 4 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/packers-players-so-poor-they-have-to-work-at-mcdonalds.html

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With that last picture you just made me believe in the Easter Bunny again. Bless your sou Purple Jesus Easter Bunny.

3 months, 4 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/did-the-purple-jesus-get-resurrected-as-a-plush-toy.html

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Why did I just go from six to midnight after reading this article?

4 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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I was gonna suggest swapping OT and Safety as far as priority wise but then you reminded me of the Kurt Coleman signing.  Dude not only has open field tackled AD on multiple occasions, he has also put clown shoes on Percy, dick punched Eli Manning and stole some dudes shoe... Classic Coleman.  I think your picks are right on I really like Mosely and think he'd be a huge impact for the Vikings.  Ideally we could trade back to the teens and still get him in round 1.  If we couldn't trade back I wouldn't be bummed if we took him at 8 though.  I think he's a better prospect than Mack.  


4 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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@PJD @CollegeWolf Lol thats how he broke his arm last year playing for the Lions.  He had a pizza on the passenger seat and it started sliding off and he went to grab it and wrecked his truck and broke his arm.  Typical lions bullshit you know.

4 months ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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This unfortunately means less Vikings games for out of towners like me that are too cheap to get Sunday ticket. Fuck it, looks like its the bar again for me, you win this round commissioner.

4 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Hopefully Spielman pulls some Draft Day Kevin Costner shit and makes some magic happen.  I just hope they can move back a little bit in the first and grab maybe like another 3rd round pick (I think we'd have like 37 3rd rounders then).  Then we could get CJ Mosely without having to worry about overdrafting.  If Mack isn't there at 8 I think Mosely is the guy that could impact the Vikings the most out of this draft. Need and talent wise. 

4 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Just looked through the link to the pictures of the training camp.  The second to last one there are all female judges with like one dude judge, looks like a total perv.  So jealous...

4 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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Brad Childress that silly goose. Nice work on this one.

4 months, 1 week ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/

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@spinmcallister The game I meant was LSU/Alabama, Zach looked bad.  Can't handle pressure, threw what should have been 4 ints, stares his receivers down.  Great tape for Mosely though dude was EVERYWHERE!  Also I went back and did watch LSU/Auburn and Zach looked pretty bad there too.  I hope the Mettenberger rumor is just a smoke screen, maybe the Raiders will pick him up and save us the trouble.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/are-the-vikings-angling-to-draft-zach-mettenberger.html

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Mettenberger is a tough sell unless they wait to get him with one of their third round picks. Watched some tape of I think LSU/Auburn and he didn't look that great, plus he just got hurt too I believe. I think if we can trade back a little in the first and grab Mosely, then McCarron round 2 we'll be in fantastic shape. Still leaves 2 3rd round picks (maybe 3 with the trade back) for db's, maybe a guard or a defensive end within the this guy may work out range. But for now in Zim (and Norv) I trust.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/are-the-vikings-angling-to-draft-zach-mettenberger.html

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Minnesota Vikings fans are craftier than you give them credit for.  There's only one way to trick an apex predator like Jared Allen, with hubris. If he shows up and the purple and gold cheer him, hold up signs that say, " We Love You Jared!", "JA 69's My Heart," and "Cutler Eats Shit for Breakfast."  The rage from getting dumped by his one true love will turn into regret that he didn't just give them the hometown discount and play out his diminishing years like a war hero.  His tears will then turn to frozen icicles of shame on that big beautiful Burt Reynolds mug of his.  We gonna get you so good Jared...

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/minnesota-nice-or-not-when-jared-allen-returns.html

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I also agree wearing one uniform that is just one color is for chumps.

4 months, 2 weeks ago on Conversation @ http://purplejesusdiaries.com/2014-articles/linval-jospeh-finds-inspiration-in-fat-pat-williams.html

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