MLF
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@Michael J G You're so very smart, it's clearer and clearer for everyone to see! I'll simply leave your statement alone and sign off of this whole discussion. You obviously showed me up with your logic, consistency and ability to stick to the point.
I'll be sure to read up on how compassion applies to situations and not to people ("You don't have compassion for people. You have compassion for their situation."). I will also try not to abuse children for asking for ice cream, but it will be hard because I so think that they need it! I will now stick out my tongue (while looking in the mirror) and say "nyah, nyah" because that is all I am left with :(
I am thoroughly beaten. Your superior intellect and education has crushed me...nay...I am broken, not crushed. Congratulations, you just broke me; thankfully I am not a child or it would not be acceptable. Perhaps I will end up as a footnote in a scholarly article or PhD thesis penned by Michael J G (JG in the Navy stands for Junior Grade, ironic)? I can only hope for such an honor! I hope I didn't distract you from your deep studies by forcing you to spend all that time on-line schooling me.
Will you say a prayer for me, that I may continue toward enlightenment?
@Michael J G @ValerieLKaylor @RylanG So Michael, you think it is OK to abuse dogs?
@Michael J G I.e., Wrong
@Michael J G Some children need to be deflated periodically, as do some adults.
As far as the system I was referring to, I noticed that is what you recommended in an earlier post: "If the dad was good at being a dad he would have long ago created a system whereby he could explain the situation and the kid would be able to understand and know that this was not a good time for ice cream". You are correct in stating any moron should be able to understand you don't implement a 'system' to deal with children. I'll go further and say that only a moron would recommend evidence of it as proof that someone is a good dad.
I still haven't heard your explanation of how, when speaking of your daughter and discipline, "she has learned to know that when I am serious she should not push the envelope." As I said earlier, that sounds sinister. Did she push the envelope so to speak and receive some type of 'teaching' that the gang here would consider abusive?
Please feel free to express your higher IQ. I've been waiting. You used 'compassionate' incorrectly in relation to freedom and fairness. You can have compassion for the people themselves, not for their needs. You can't have compassion for freedom and fairness themselves. You can have it for people who desire it, etc.
As far as you being pretentious I guess that's just opinion. Clearly bragging anonymously about your IQ and that your knowledge somehow offends people are simply arrogance...although actually altering a dictionary definition to suit your argument might be considered beyond arrogant.
@ValerieLKaylor @Michael J G I suspect that there were no first hand witnesses to this incident at all. It all fits to nicely with the audiences biases and a read of the author's bio gives a hint as to what he'll do for attention much less a profit and attention.
@RylanG @ValerieLKaylor @Michael J G Rylan,
I've read a couple of your posts now. You've alluded that you do not have an advanced education. It's unfortunate that you are summarily dismissed by some people on here because of that. Wisdom and intelligence are not the same thing. They ought to teach that in advanced coursework.
@ValerieLKaylor ...and you were there to see all this? Really, the question is whether anyone was there to see any of this. Did it really happen or did Dan feel pressure to come up with a good heart-tugger to keep his readers interest? We'll never know.
Thanks for the all caps BTW, it really illustrates that you are very worked up about this topic.
@Michael J G @ChristineDuBoisKrevalin Discipline:
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline. 2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer. 3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training. 4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty. 5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
Teach?
@Michael J G Probably not to F with the guy in the car behind him.
@Michael J G That's because you had that 'system' you set up with your wife before you had your single child. Not everyone is as enlightened as you Mikey...of course they all know that because you make a point of broadcasting it constantly. The fact that you could pre-set a system of discipline and child rearing is truly amazing! You are a FANTASTIC dad!!
Does your child rearing system require tweaking if you add more kids? I'm just curious because I know that some people do have more than one child before they consider themselves really experienced parents and your system could potentially save them a lot of trouble...too bad the Costco dad didn't have access to your system. :(
...I have a question on your post though (I'm just a stupid person without your level of understanding of...well...everything apparently). In your comment, you veer off into the evils of religion (again) and you state "I receive a lot of flack from people who think I'm being "too judgmental" or "just angry at god", when in fact what I am is compassionate about freedom and fairness for people."
How is one 'compassionate' about freedom and fairness? In my ignorance I might have used the word 'passionate'; I know I am mistaken but I wondered if you might show me why. I only ask because you enjoy being helpful where words are concerned. I was so grateful when you led me to understand what 'juxtaposition' meant. You are such a brainiac!! I could never hope to even reflect the glow of intelligence you display!
Perhaps you could illustrate the meaning of 'pretentious' for me? Oh!! You already have!
@ValerieLKaylor Did Single Dad Laughing describe the physical size of the child? I don't remember. Frankly I can't be bothered reading through the whole short story again but his physical size doesn't jump to mind. No matter, super dad Dan could have him be any size he wants, he's the author. It would be quite funny though if the 'dad' was a little person (i.e., dwarf) and the kid was extra big for his age, towering over him, little dad jumping up to poke his finger at him, lol.
No matter. The good news is that I was recently in Costco. Clearly, because this story has so deeply affected me it came to mind as we stood in line. While I did have all three kids with me, and not a random ten year old, I decided to concentrate on the oldest. He's about 5 so he was the closest I could get as far as being near the fictional child in Dan's story. I'll call him 'X' because I care enough about my kid not to commercialize him in a blog.
So, we're in line and I see the little Costco cafe out past the checkout lines.
"Hey X"
"Huh?"
"They got ice cream over there!"
"Where! I want some!"
"No."
"I want some, I want some, I want some" (there may have been two or three more 'I want some' shouts, I can't remember).
"No. Go stand over by that wall."
"What wall?"
"There, over there."
There was no wall because in our Costco there just isn't one.
X clearly couldn't stand against a non-existent wall. This just played into my hands. He was clearly disobeying!! On top of that the second boy, I'll call him 'Y', started squealing "Ice cream" over and over.
At this point I went over to him and poked him right up near his collarbone (I couldn't quite seem to get the collarbone exactly, that other Costco dad must have had some practice).
"There IS no ice cream!" I told him, screwing up my face menacingly.
"What?" he shouted back at me.
By this time people were looking; I even thought one metrosexual looking guy was going to break into tears...I knew he wouldn't actually do anything but wring his hands.
Y shrieks "No ice cream?!" and looks broken.
Baby girl was sleeping (let's call her 'Z' because it makes the story hold together better). Z slept through the whole thing in fact. Probably because she's too young to eat ice cream and so had no dog in this fight (I worked in a dog reference just for Micheal JG, I noticed he has a thing for kid/dog comparisons).
X shouts out "No ice cream!" again.
I had him. I knew I had won. I had crushed his spirit!
"No ice cream." I said, leaning in to him.
"What do you think of that? Have I broken you?"
He looked up into my face, no tears...
"What? What did I break?"
"No, no, no, I broke you!"
"I'm not broken." a confused look on his face.
Y piped in "He not broked"
X started laughing.
"What did he say? He not broked? That's funny!"
Y began to laugh too.
I was left to contemplate my failure. Broken. I could clearly see that my kids were stronger, more resilient than I had imagined. I guess that's just my kids.
@Michael J G @ValerieLKaylor @RylanG @Chloe325 Michael J G,
Are you pulling everyone's leg? What's the difference between having kids and not having them? If you have them and haven't figured that out I might be interested in getting my hands on the drugs you're using (either yourself or on your kids).
So, you and your wife worked out a system of discipline and expectations for your child prior to having her and you just imposed them regardless of conditions? I gotta say you talk out of one side of your mouth about explaining and listening, open mindedness, etc. then you talk about a discipline 'system' and how your daughter 'learned' to know when not to mess with you (scary!) and how you'll never accept her looking into religion, etc. out of the other side of your mouth.
I'm confused.
I'm certain YOU ARE A GREAT DAD!! ...but I'm confused...
@Michael J G @ValerieLKaylor Human rights? Same sex marriage?? What are you talking about? This is better than TV!
Go Micheal J G, Go! You are on a roll...we all want to see where it ends, hahaha!!
@ValerieLKaylor not MMOB - does the State pay you to be a foster parent? Just curious how much that gig pays.
@Michael J G @ValerieLKaylor @RylanG I'm curious. How was it that she learned to know when to 'not push the envelope'?
It sounds very sinister.
@DavidGould As I was reading this account I too was struck by the holier than thou feel and the hypocrisy of imagined violence against the Costco 'dad' (if indeed he was the boy's father). I was even more struck by the feeling that this entire account was a fabrication.
It just felt too convenient. It reads like a little short story or essay. Why not though? I mean he has a ready audience, eager to drink his brand of Kool Aid. It must be a great ego boost (not to mention a nice little paycheck) to pen a story that generates all sorts of back patting and halo shining. It's a nice little vignette; generic location, the good dad - powerless but concerned (himself yet another victim of bad Costco dad). Finally, a child being bullied; guaranteed to tug at the hearstrings of the readership.
I came here to read it because someone posted it and said it was 'amazing'. New readers attracted to the blog.
Oh the irony of calling it Single Dad Laughing...all the way to the bank. Cha-ching!!
@Daddysgrl Yeah, don't treat your kid like a dog! Implement a system, a discipline/training system. I use a clicker to train my kids. I clicker them, then I explain to them how to behave. They look at me weird sometimes, but I just click them again and they 'get it'.
Job done. Nothing to it...and when your kids are really tired or just in 'one of those moods' the clicker works too. It's a system! Every good dad uses one; it cuts out the need for interaction, you just implement the system.
That's why I'm a great dad!
@dolfineer11 Yawn...
@Michael J G Why should I study anthropology? We both know that neither can 'prove' one point of view over the other so where would the anthro come in as helpful on this topic?
When parenting is evaluated is it being done by 'well educated' individuals, possibly in a university setting? How interesting that the findings should line up with their own experiences. What are the criteria for 'good' parents? How do you measure love?
As far as my religious/scientific beliefs, I don't see any contradiction between the two in general or specifically on the very much accepted theory of evolution. My religion has a long tradition of providing education at all levels, it established it's first continuously operating university in 1517 and includes among it's famous scientists and thinkers Gregor Mendel (the 'father' of modern genetics), Francis Bacon, Louis Pasteur, René Descartes, Georges Lemaître (proposed the Big Bang theory). I hear that the non-theists have Christopher Hitchens as a poster boy...
Of course religion has 'problems', but also wonderful pluses. Certainly it does more for the poor and ostracized than atheism. As far as proof I have yet to see a proof that God does NOT exist. Until then I'll keep my belief that there is a God since I have not personally come up with anything as a replacement.
I'm not sure how we got onto the topic of religion...oh wait, it was right after you tried to backpedal on the racial insinuation.
Technically, 'lower income group' is are not a social or racial trait, it's economic. Realistically, I think anyone with a clear head can figure out exactly what you meant by citing 'lower income' as an indicator of parenting abilities; I'll leave it at that so as not to get dragged into the rathole of your personal biases and prejudice.
@dolfineer11 @MLF @Michael No surprise that you think every man is 'not going to listen', got that vibe from your posts. I'm sure you're not passing THAT on to the kids.
I didn't mind the 'queen' comment, it actually amused me. Not sure it matters whether I am a man or woman though.