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 @Michael J G You're so very smart, it's clearer and clearer for everyone to see!  I'll simply leave your statement alone and sign off of this whole discussion.  You obviously showed me up with your logic, consistency and ability to stick to the point.

 

I'll be sure to read up on how compassion applies to situations and not to people ("You don't have compassion for people. You have compassion for their situation.").  I will also try not to abuse children for asking for ice cream, but it will be hard because I so think that they need it!  I will now stick out my tongue (while looking in the mirror) and say "nyah, nyah" because that is all I am left with :(

 

I am thoroughly beaten.  Your superior intellect and education has crushed me...nay...I am broken, not crushed.  Congratulations, you just broke me; thankfully I am not a child or it would not be acceptable.  Perhaps I will end up as a footnote in a scholarly article or PhD thesis penned by Michael J G (JG in the Navy stands for Junior Grade, ironic)?  I can only hope for such an honor!  I hope I didn't distract you from your deep studies by forcing you to spend all that time on-line schooling me.

Will you say a prayer for me, that I may continue toward enlightenment?

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @ValerieLKaylor  @RylanG So Michael, you think it is OK to abuse dogs?

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G I.e., Wrong

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G Some children need to be deflated periodically, as do some adults.

 

As far as the system I was referring to, I noticed that is what you recommended in an earlier post:  "If the dad was good at being a dad he would have long ago created a system whereby he could explain the situation and the kid would be able to understand and know that this was not a good time for ice cream".  You are correct in stating any moron should be able to understand you don't implement a 'system' to deal with children.  I'll go further and say that only a moron would recommend evidence of it as proof that someone is a good dad.

 

I still haven't heard your explanation of how, when speaking of your daughter and discipline, "she has learned to know that when I am serious she should not push the envelope."  As I said earlier, that sounds sinister.  Did she push the envelope so to speak and receive some type of 'teaching' that the gang here would consider abusive?

 

Please feel free to express your higher IQ.  I've been waiting.  You used 'compassionate' incorrectly in relation to freedom and fairness.  You can have compassion for the people themselves, not for their needs.  You can't have compassion for freedom and fairness themselves.  You can have it for people who desire it, etc.

As far as you being pretentious I guess that's just opinion.  Clearly bragging anonymously about your IQ and that your knowledge somehow offends people are simply arrogance...although actually altering a dictionary definition to suit your argument might be considered beyond arrogant.

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @ValerieLKaylor  @Michael J G I suspect that there were no first hand witnesses to this incident at all.    It all fits to nicely with the audiences biases and a read of the author's bio gives a hint as to what he'll do for attention much less a profit and attention. 

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @RylanG  @ValerieLKaylor  @Michael J G Rylan,

I've read a couple of your posts now.  You've alluded that you do not have an advanced education.  It's unfortunate that you are summarily dismissed by some people on here because of that.  Wisdom and intelligence are not the same thing.  They ought to teach that in advanced coursework.

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @ValerieLKaylor ...and you were there to see all this?  Really, the question is whether anyone was there to see any of this.  Did it really happen or did Dan feel pressure to come up with a good heart-tugger to keep his readers interest?  We'll never know.

 

Thanks for the all caps BTW, it really illustrates that you are very worked up about this topic.

 

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @ChristineDuBoisKrevalin Discipline:

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline. 2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer. 3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training. 4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty. 5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

 

Teach?

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G Probably not to F with the guy in the car behind him.

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G That's because you had that 'system' you set up with your wife before you had your single child.  Not everyone is as enlightened as you Mikey...of course they all know that because you make a point of broadcasting it constantly.  The fact that you could pre-set a system of discipline and child rearing is truly amazing!  You are a FANTASTIC dad!!

Does your child rearing system require tweaking if you add more kids?  I'm just curious because I know that some people do have more than one child before they consider themselves really experienced parents and your system could potentially save them a lot of trouble...too bad the Costco dad didn't have access to your system.  :(

 

...I have a question on your post though (I'm just a stupid person without your level of understanding of...well...everything apparently).  In your comment, you veer off into the evils of religion (again) and you state "I receive a lot of flack from people who think I'm being "too judgmental" or "just angry at god", when in fact what I am is compassionate about freedom and fairness for people."

How is one 'compassionate' about freedom and fairness?  In my ignorance I might have used the word 'passionate'; I know I am mistaken but I wondered if you might show me why.  I only ask because you enjoy being helpful where words are concerned.  I was so grateful when you led me to understand what 'juxtaposition' meant.  You are such a brainiac!!  I could never hope to even reflect the glow of intelligence you display!

Perhaps you could illustrate the meaning of 'pretentious' for me?  Oh!!  You already have!

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @ValerieLKaylor Did Single Dad Laughing describe the physical size of the child?  I don't remember.  Frankly I can't be bothered reading through the whole short story again but his physical size doesn't jump to mind.  No matter, super dad Dan could have him be any size he wants, he's the author.  It would be quite funny though if the 'dad' was a little person (i.e., dwarf) and the kid was extra big for his age, towering over him, little dad jumping up to poke his finger at him, lol.

 

No matter.  The good news is that I was recently in Costco.  Clearly, because this story has so deeply affected me it came to mind as we stood in line.  While I did have all three kids with me, and not a random ten year old, I decided to concentrate on the oldest.  He's about 5 so he was the closest I could get as far as being near the fictional child in Dan's story.  I'll call him 'X' because I care enough about my kid not to commercialize him in a blog.

 

So, we're in line and I see the little Costco cafe out past the checkout lines.

"Hey X"

"Huh?"

"They got ice cream over there!"

"Where!  I want some!"

"No."

"I want some, I want some, I want some" (there may have been two or three more 'I want some' shouts, I can't remember).

"No.  Go stand over by that wall."

"What wall?"

"There, over there."

There was no wall because in our Costco there just isn't one.

X clearly couldn't stand against a non-existent wall.  This just played into my hands.  He was clearly disobeying!!  On top of that the second boy, I'll call him 'Y', started squealing "Ice cream" over and over.

At this point I went over to him and poked him right up near his collarbone (I couldn't quite seem to get the collarbone exactly, that other Costco dad must have had some practice).

"There IS no ice cream!" I told him, screwing up my face menacingly.

"What?" he shouted back at me.

By this time people were looking; I even thought one metrosexual looking guy was going to break into tears...I knew he wouldn't actually do anything but wring his hands.

Y shrieks "No ice cream?!" and looks broken.

Baby girl was sleeping (let's call her 'Z' because it makes the story hold together better).  Z slept through the whole thing in fact.  Probably because she's too young to eat ice cream and so had no dog in this fight (I worked in a dog reference just for Micheal JG, I noticed he has a thing for kid/dog comparisons).

 

X shouts out "No ice cream!" again.

I had him.  I knew I had won.  I had crushed his spirit!

"No ice cream." I said, leaning in to him.

"What do you think of that?  Have I broken you?"

He looked up into my face, no tears...

"What?  What did I break?"

"No, no, no, I broke you!"

"I'm not broken." a confused look on his face.

Y piped in "He not broked"

X started laughing.

"What did he say?  He not broked?  That's funny!"

Y began to laugh too.

 

I was left to contemplate my failure.  Broken.  I could clearly see that my kids were stronger, more resilient than I had imagined.  I guess that's just my kids.

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @ValerieLKaylor  @RylanG  @Chloe325 Michael J G,

Are you pulling everyone's leg?  What's the difference between having kids and not having them?  If you have them and haven't figured that out I might be interested in getting my hands on the drugs you're using (either yourself or on your kids).

So, you and your wife worked out a system of discipline and expectations for your child prior to having her and you just imposed them regardless of conditions?  I gotta say you talk out of one side of your mouth about explaining and listening, open mindedness, etc. then you talk about a discipline 'system' and how your daughter 'learned' to know when not to mess with you (scary!) and how you'll never accept her looking into religion, etc. out of the other side of your mouth.

I'm confused.

I'm certain YOU ARE A GREAT DAD!!  ...but I'm confused...

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @ValerieLKaylor Human rights?  Same sex marriage??  What are you talking about?  This is better than TV!

Go Micheal J G, Go!  You are on a roll...we all want to see where it ends, hahaha!!

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @ValerieLKaylor  not MMOB - does the State pay you to be a foster parent?  Just curious how much that gig pays.

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @ValerieLKaylor  @RylanG I'm curious.  How was it that she learned to know when to 'not push the envelope'?

 

It sounds very sinister.

 

 

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @DavidGould As I was reading this account I too was struck by the holier than thou feel and the hypocrisy of imagined violence against the Costco 'dad' (if indeed he was the boy's father).  I was even more struck by the feeling that this entire account was a fabrication.

 

It just felt too convenient.  It reads like a little short story or essay.  Why not though?  I mean he has a ready audience, eager to drink his brand of Kool Aid.  It must be a great ego boost (not to mention a nice little paycheck) to pen a story that generates all sorts of back patting and halo shining.  It's a nice little vignette; generic location, the good dad - powerless but concerned (himself yet another victim of bad Costco dad).  Finally, a child being bullied; guaranteed to tug at the hearstrings of the readership.

I came here to read it because someone posted it and said it was 'amazing'.  New readers attracted to the blog.

Oh the irony of calling it Single Dad Laughing...all the way to the bank.  Cha-ching!!

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Daddysgrl Yeah, don't treat your kid like a dog!  Implement a system, a discipline/training system.  I use a clicker to train my kids.  I clicker them, then I explain to them how to behave.  They look at me weird sometimes, but I just click them again and they 'get it'.

Job done.  Nothing to it...and when your kids are really tired or just in 'one of those moods' the clicker works too.  It's a system!  Every good dad uses one; it cuts out the need for interaction, you just implement the system.

 

That's why I'm a great dad!

2 years, 4 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G Why should I study anthropology?  We both know that neither can 'prove' one point of view over the other so where would the anthro come in as helpful on this topic?

 

When parenting is evaluated is it being done by 'well educated' individuals, possibly in a university setting?  How interesting that the findings should line up with their own experiences.  What are the criteria for 'good' parents?  How do you measure love?

 

As far as my religious/scientific beliefs, I don't see any contradiction between the two in general or specifically on the very much accepted theory of evolution.  My religion has a long tradition of providing education at all levels, it established it's first continuously operating university in 1517 and includes among it's famous scientists and thinkers Gregor Mendel (the 'father' of modern genetics), Francis Bacon, Louis Pasteur, René Descartes, Georges Lemaître (proposed the Big Bang theory).  I hear that the non-theists have Christopher Hitchens as a poster boy...

Of course religion has 'problems', but also wonderful pluses.  Certainly it does more for the poor and ostracized than atheism.  As far as proof I have yet to see a proof that God does NOT exist.  Until then I'll keep my belief that there is a God since I have not personally come up with anything as a replacement.

I'm not sure how we got onto the topic of religion...oh wait, it was right after you tried to backpedal on the racial insinuation.

 

Technically, 'lower income group' is are not a social or racial trait, it's economic.  Realistically, I think anyone with a clear head can figure out exactly what you meant by citing 'lower income' as an indicator of parenting abilities; I'll leave it at that so as not to get dragged into the rathole of your personal biases and prejudice.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @dolfineer11  @MLF  @Michael No surprise that you think every man is 'not going to listen', got that vibe from your posts.  I'm sure you're not passing THAT on to the kids.

I didn't mind the 'queen' comment, it actually amused me.  Not sure it matters whether I am a man or woman though.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G  @MLF I certainly don't mind generating an argument (some call it discussion but if your mindset is that any different opinion is an argument I'll go with that).

I read the article because some nitwit friend posted it and it showed up on my Facebook wall as a 'must read'.

I'm only trying to rationalize per this definition:  streamline, reorganize, modernize, update; trim, hone, simplify, downsize, prune.

I feel like kids are worth an extraordinary effort.  I don't feel like kids are worth a little effort.  If I did I would either not have gotten/stayed married and had them (I could still be a single dad though I guess) or I would raise them along the lines so many are suggesting to me on here.

I'm a bully?  Hahaha!  That's a good one.

I don't know, I don't think kids do need to fear their parents.  Why do you ask?

 

Hmmm, you've 'already' worked on your behavior; implying you are done with that approach.  Excellent.

You don't really care what I think.  Interesting.

You've already told me...blah, blah, blah (actually it was MYOB that you issued your directive to).  How open minded; your way or the highway, huh?  Very telling approach to people and kids are people too.

...which brings me to your next post.

Kids are human beings.  I don't look to animal behavior as a guide in child rearing nor will I raise my children as animals or act like an animal towards them.  Yikes!

 

There is a cultural aspect to spanking and child rearing and disciplining.  The wiki stats are interesting, on several levels.

You criticized Dennis Partlow's post on here for bringing race in as an issue yet you use veiled racial data (i.e., lower income groups) to support your argument.  I'm not quite sure what the statistic on religious conservatives is included for, perhaps you could explain that?

Are educated parents somehow more qualified to be parents?  It would also be interesting to see where the data on education/parenting was collected.  Is it from US and Western Europe or does it equally include non Western nations?

On cultural aspects; have the up and coming emerging market countries embracing the more liberal approach to child rearing or are they sticking with their own cultural traditions?

 

I have to go, Child Services is coming up the walk, I have to get the kids to smile and I can only spank so fast...spank them so fast I mean...don't want that misinterpreted...

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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I appreciate your accountability.  I have tried it, often and successfully when warranted.  I suppose you can consider other opinions than your own uneducated and priggish if you desire.  I guess my own feelings that you and others are sadly misguided are akin to that.

 

My children and the many others of parents I know who are like minded in terms of including physical punishment among the various tools of parenting seem to be quite happy and well adjusted.  I don't presume to read their minds, nor do I intend to verify with my children whether I am doing a job that they approve of.  You see, I am a parent, not a friend.  I love my kids, even like my kids, but I have a responsibility beyond that.  Sometimes the right thing doesn't 'feel good' and it's hard to do but as an adult and a de facto role model you have to push through and do it anyway.  Children are just that.  They do not have the same ability to reason or understand causality that adults do and so there is good reason, at times, to do whatever is necessary to at least try to modify harmful behavior.

 

I suppose I'm just a dummy for not being as forward thinking as intellectuals such as yourself but I try to do the best I can.  I only hope that I was able to get my point across despite my clear handicap in education compared to a great scholar such as yourself.  I do appreciate you taking the time to try to assist my understanding of the more cultured approach taken by so many others on these pages...here I thought they were all just soft on discipline and needy in terms of their child's approval and acceptance.  Gee I'm glad you could larn me so much!

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G I did consider that opinion (not fact).  Technically since your argument doesn't prove that not spanking has been around longer than spanking has it doesn't invalidate my argument.  At least you came at it from a logic standpoint.  Anecdotally the spanking/physical discipline certainly appears to be the more common approach across time and certainly by parents of the 'greatest generation' which could arguably be the golden age as far as producing quality adults.  My opinion, can't prove it but can defend it as being as valid as any other.

 

Is anyone on here of a more analytical than touchy-feely mindset?  I suppose that largely accounts for the love fest attitude across most of the comment on the blog.  Much easier to sell something with emotion rather than logic and reason.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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I'm not really putting that much thought into it.  Letting you do that then taking your own words and putting them into context.

When did I say that physical pain was the only way to get my point across?  There I expanded my thinking to to show where you ARE wrong.

 

Since spanking causes physical pain I suppose that you think that should be off limits.  Given that it has been and remains a widely accepted method of disciplining children and has worked for more time than your approach, could it be that you might be wrong in your approach? 

 

I'm sorry if my communications are unclear for you, I will try to remember to keep my audience in mind as I express my opinions but really it is difficult to fit some concepts into a format similar to the 'see spot run' variety.  Perhaps you could upgrade your skillset as a reader?

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Michael J G Don't push your biases on me Michael.  If you see yourself in the story about the Costco dad and that makes you uncomfortable in your own skin then you take action on your own issues.  As you put it 'this is about putting a mirror up in front of us'.  You look in a mirror, you see yourself.  I'm fine with me, you seem to feel work is required; good you can now start to correct your own behavior.

Problem solved and you didn't even need professional help, just a mirror

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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Some people (see above) are suggesting exactly that.  As far as 'missing' anything, no, I am not.  A finger poke to a child of that age is not abuse.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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Please take a break!

Reading between the lines it has always seemed that you barely have enough time to breathe, much less to spend all the time with Noah that he needs from you.  Please give that little boy some quiet time with his dad, away from all the electronic walls and veils he has to wend his way through all the rest of the time.

God bless you!

2 years, 5 months ago on I need to disappear for a little while.

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Partnering sensibilities?  I must have missed something.  He has no partner...rather he has had two legal partners with whom he could not make things work, even for the sake of the child he so loudly proclaims to love.  Ooo!  I just threw up in my mouth...oh well, maybe I'll call it sugar and swallow.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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It does not surprise me that you do not agree with the methods or ideology.  You come from a culture that feels that respect must be earned and that it is a child's place to learn from parents and not take control of the parent child relationship.  Had you arrived in this country a few generations ago you might have felt much more at home here.

I would be surprised if an incident like the one so long windedly described in this blog would 'break' any child.  I suppose it shows how unfamiliar most of the posters on here are with actually raising young men and women.  If a child is so easily broken as this it can only be because of a failure of the parents.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @dolfineer11 Wow!  What a touching story loaded with all sorts of insight.

He is so lucky to have you.  One wonders how such a horror of a man was able to keep his daughter (I can tell you, if anyone on this site had a say he wouldn't and he'd be in prison right now).  Even more wondrous is that you deigned to bestow your love, physical and otherwise, on such a seemingly hopeless case.  I hope that you remind him every day how lucky he is that you condescended to allow yourself to be with him.  Make certain you repeat that phrase you used in your comment..."Sometimes I wonder why I've made my life so incredibly hard." to him each morning - and be clear that he is the source of that hardship.  This is something that more men need to hear.  I am certain that he has forgotten by now how incredibly lucky he once felt to have you in his life.

 

You are a hero!  Doubtless the wind beneath the wings of your stepdaughter.  I am sure that she offers prayers of thanks constantly for your intrusion into her life.

Perhaps one day she will get to watch smugly as her father makes the wrong move in some Costco somewhere and a hero like Dan steps in to clean the floor with him...well, not like Dan, more an actual hero, one who actually does something.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @NinureSaunders Yes!!

Let's start taking children from their parents.  I nominate myself to be the one judging everyone.  Oh, wait...there's a huge line of people ahead of me on here already.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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That is an excellent question!

MYOB, were you poked in the chest by your daddy as a child?  Perhaps it was some other terrible experience such as not getting a treat after dinner?  You surely MUST have been broken or you could not view the world through such a harsh lens.  Was the village not there for you as a wee one?  Too often the parents of broken children do not realize that it takes the input of the entire village to raise their children.  These misguided individuals often seek to raise a child on their own, taking responsibility for the children they create upon themselves.  It is an arrogant and lasting mistake.  They fail to seek advice directly from the child when meting out 'justice', even going so far as to strike a child on the bottom!

Can you imagine where we would be today if past generations had been raised in such a manner?!!

 

Please, please (I am weeping openly here) seek help from someone...do you have anyone?  Is there anyone there for you, anyone at all?  Next time your child openly and repeatedly defies you, stop.  Just stop.  Count to 10, then look your child in the eye (but just for a second, then avert your eyes in shame) and slowly, tears welling in your eyes, apologize to them.

Yes!  Apologize!  Just tell them you are sorry.  Sorry for everything that you haven't given them when they asked, sorry for not backing them up when they mouth off to you or your spouse...just tell them you are sorry for things even if, in your twisted mind, they do not make sense to be sorry for.  Then finally, tell them you are sorry for living because you haven't lived up to the high, high standards of all those on this blog.

 

Perhaps then you can begin, with your children's guidance and approval (and don't intimidate them when you ask for their approval), to repair the brokenness that you are probably not even aware that your own miserable, self centered narcissistic 'dad' (we all know he doesn't deserve the title) inflicted upon you.  I implore you to do this and to seek the approval of the group in this quest or I fear you will remain a broken creature...just like the boy in this tale of woe so poignantly created by Dan.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @dolfineer11  @MLF 

Perhaps the man in Costco made a mistake, a one time thing?  Your hero Dan has made serial mistakes and then glosses over their affect on his child.  Is it inappropriate to talk about the effects of divorce on children?  As for being a queen, I'll leave that to you - drama or otherwise.

I'm pleased that you recognize that your response is not reasonable; you may be making progress.  If my comments seem harsh, I want to clarify that they are not intended to 'break'.  From reading your comments it appears that you are easily broken (BTW, children are not that easily broken) and I want you to know that I care for you and am trying to help you to learn to deal with the real world.

Take care fragile one...your sighs tear at my heart as if a finger were poking me in the chest...

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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Big man!  Lol!  Bring it.

 

Wait!  Violence?

What would Dan say?

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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He's not just single.  He's single, divorcedTWICE and still looking.  Probably easier to look at other fathers than looking at the trainwreck of a life he has created for himself.  You are not the odd one out.

2 years, 5 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Zoe37  @Gray_Wolf "It's not productive to say, "oh, but that didn't have to happen." Once it happens, it can't be changed."

I guess to some people that doesn't seem productive...to others it's a call to examine the roots of the mistake.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Skepticghost OMG, give it a rest!  This guy is a good dad?  He's dragged his son through the hell of a divorce...and he's still looking for 'the one'.  You can yell at your kids all you want, even poke them in the chest once in a while and you will not even scratch the surface of the damage that divorce and it's aftermath does to a child.

If you have kids that are little and you go away for a couple days it freaks them out and scares them.  Now imagine what they feel and think when they figure out it's forever.  Then add to that the disruption of shuttling between two 'homes' (neither of which is really 'home' because both mom and dad are not there); a sampling of this disruption to routine that is so important to children can be seen after you return from a short vacation or trip of a few days or week.  It takes days to get little kids back to their routine and sleep patterns after an enjoyable time away from home and routine.  That's just a peek at the internal havoc the behavior of your "good" dad has wrought on his poor son.

 

Please stop lionizing this man who is profiting off his son via this blog and books.  He is not worthy of the title of father, unless it is preceded by 'self centered', 'immature' or some such descriptor.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @claudiasere Does your son understand that mommy needs 'time-out' because he is so hard to deal with?  Yikes!  For him to realize that someday seems like it would be more damaging than getting yelled at and having a thumb jabbed (with no physical harm done) at his chest for being obnoxious and disobedient.

Also, why might dad take the boy to his parents other than to 'bond'?  Usually, and this is I guess from a 'bad' dad, the reason to head to the grandparents is because they will take over child care duties for a good bit of the visit.

 

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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gather=father  (above)

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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So would you report what the gather in Costco did as abuse?

If so, aside from just being plain wrong and overreacting, would you have any care for the stress and trouble you would create for the family (that's assuming that anyone wherever you reported it actually saw it as abuse) by doing that?

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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Again, read 'superdad's' Bio.  He's a mess.  It's easier for him and people like him to judge other fathers and point out their perceived failings.  Frankly the fact that he can't understand the Costco father's actions gives me a pretty good idea of just how much he interacts with his own son.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Daddio12345 Daddio, it's even better than that.  Read this concerned, caring author's bio.  Our twice divorced hero is worrying about the dad he observed for that 2 - 5 minutes 'breaking' his son yet doesn't seem bothered by the deep trauma separating his precious Noah from stable family life has caused.  In fact, he points out that the blog and books he is cashing in on take up all of his free time on top of everything he's already put the boy through.  I suppose it might be easier in his mind to daydream about confronting strangers than to confront his own shortcomings as a dad.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean That's excellent preparation for life.  When they grow up and overextend themselves on their real life mortgage they will rightfully expect someone else to pick up the tab for them because they didn't know any better.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean I can see them in the line at the Costco pharmacy getting their Xanax, Valium and Percocet refills.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @Gray_Wolf  @KevinDean I think a lot of the 'yelling' mentality depends on what region of the country you grew up in.  Certain parts of the Northeast consider a whisper what a Southerner might see as a bellow.  I like that you can admit that we all do lose our tempers from time to time because apparently very few people on here are aware of that.

My own, southern born wife no longer admonishes me about 'losing it' with the kids.  She stopped quite suddenly after an 8 hour stretch alone with the two oldest one weekend.  I'm very proud of myself for keeping my mouth shut as I watched the wind down to the session while the two year old glared up at her with a 'No!' and stood back up 20 to 30 times from time out.  I knew it seemed like a lot to her at the time but I had spent enough time with the boy in that mode between 4AM and 7AM enough to know that it sometimes seems that they are just trying to be defiant even though it can't possibly be that a 2 year old understands such a thing, lol!  I do want to note that they are good kids in general and while I have never had anyone confront me negatively I have often had people comment on how well behaved they are and I make sure they see how proud I am of them when that happens.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean BTW, you are mistaken.  My read of these comments indicates that most of the women on here don't actually have a husband, they have lovers, a series of abusive exes, father(s) to their children and the like but the majority don't have husbands.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean Clearly (based on your on-line comments and narrow mindedness) you are not breaking the cycle.  Your kids will suffer just as you have...please, please (I'm almost in tears here) get professional help!  I did, and my lawn has never looked better.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean @KevinDean When I first read this I thought he might be talking to me, but I don't have a 9 year old, I'm in there with my infant daughter, 2 1/2 yr old and 4 1/2 yr old all jammed into the cart with the pretzels and fruit.  Frankly, I'm more concerned about the parents who don't yell at their kids in public.  Imagine what goes on behind closed doors in a household where that kind of stress is all bottled up to maintain the public facade.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @KevinDean  @MLF @KevinDean But hey, he's still looking for 'the one' with his open mind, hahaha!

Poor little Noah...I wonder if he understands how deeply he's loved ('I love you THIS MUCH $$$$$$')

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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 @jennyjoz  @KP84 Ahhh!  Now we DO know you.  Protesting for months?  Nuff said.  Your parents must be swelling with pride at the productive member of society they spawned.  Let me guess OWS?  Gee whiz, what an effective and focused group, no wonder you're there helping the cause.

2 years, 6 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

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