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I'm really glad you said this because today my own mother and brother tried to shame me for getting help for my ADHD. If I feel bad enough to seek help it's obviously not fake nor is my anxiety or depression. We have got to do better.
8 months, 1 week ago on Founder of “For Brown Girls,” and Advocate for US, Karyn Washington Committed Suicide, and I Suck.
As the mother of a mixed race daughter, I could never be mad that she is dating a black man... My daughter already knows that good and bad people come in every color of the rainbow. Matter of fact I work with white women all of whom are married to black men and good black men at that...Conversely I work with black women who are married to wonderful black men... Now do I want her to limit her self, probably not, but at the end its her choice not mine, and if she prefers black men above all else my only advice would be to make sure that he treats you how your father and step father and grandpas and uncles treat you, which is with love and respect...
1 year, 4 months ago on Question of the Week: "Am I Wrong for Wanting My Daughter Not to Date Black Men?"
@Christelyn Im saying dont white people call them dune coons and such.... Yeah they are trippin
1 year, 5 months ago on Stop Blaming Dead White Men for Slavery! Saudis Are the Modern-Day Slavers!!
@Christelyn I think though while slavery happened 150 years ago many of the racist institutions and subconscious mindsets still exist... Lets not forget it wasnt even that long ago that blacks weren't allowed to buy houses in certain areas, drink from the same water fountains and vote or marry outside their race... I'm talking within the last 50 to 60 years for some of this stuff. So are people focusing on something that is no longer a problem. I don't think so... Racism is still very much an issue here, hell I go through racism even in Seattle and everyone dates outside their race here. And while its crazy in the middle east, we don't live there so its obviously what we go through as far as racism in America is going to be more of a focus to American black people rather than the plight of black folks worlds away... Which kinda brings up another issue which is that there is a huge disconnect between american black people and africans.
@Christelyn Thats what Im SAYIN like seriously... for a while there people were getting straight Jim Crow on arabs and muslims and everyone who looked like they might be. I think it boils down to the fact that people are always thinking that if we go along with the crowd maybe the focus will be off of me atleast in America. I cant tell you how many racist latinos, native americans and asians Ive encountered... And each time Im like, yeah because the Aryan Nations are hosting you at their annual brunch this year right Pablo? Right Running Elk? right Minh Woo??... Give me a damn kit kat and break it ugh.... people are so dumb.
@simply lois Shes rich lol although Im sure someone will be vying to make her a concubine
Arabs definitely consider themselves white... I have ZERO idea why... An arab guy assaulted a black guy in new yourk for having lunch with a white woman and then goes lol wait for it, we are tired of you taking our women LMAO CHIIIIIILD PLEASE... My step mom is from india and being her step daughter has made me privy to the wonderful world of brown people... Saudis, Quatarians, Kuwaitis, are ALL like this... They hate black people and they are lazy as hell and this isn't just an understatement or generalization... They are lazy because black people in their countries do all the work and because their employers have to have a certain amount of workers or be fined so when they go to work they chill... like really chill. I think America racism has its issue duh it racism but its a whole other ball park in Arab countries cuz they gives ZERO fucks about you or your mom...
@JustMyopinion12 not that being mixed makes you think that you are better than others but as you said i see more of this attitude from mixed women raised by white women and if her mother was raised by a white/native woman then the apple probably didnt fall far from the tree...
1 year, 5 months ago on Rae Dawn Chong's Comments About Oprah Exemplifies Intra-Racial Hateration
@JustMyopinion12 her mother was mixed as well so maybe thats what lead to this mess we see here....
I think that in or out of context she was out of pocket... She basically said gave the insult sandwich layering kinda backhanded compliments with super messed up insults.... its like saying no offense you are fat, black and ugly BUUUUUUUUT you have done SOOOOO MUCH to improve the image of fat black and ugly women in amaerica kudos bitch... Its just doesnt make sense.... I really think that as a mixed woman the fact that she brought up races (and the field slave house slave reference at that, shows that she IS really confused and butthurt that a darker, bigger, and less attractive by our societies standards has had more commercial success i mean she pretty much said it herself, not only that she alludes that the only reason why Oprah is so successful is by kissing up to the Massa so to speak... Which it is what it is... I think that Oprah making herself less threatening to white people and more marketable to middle class white moms and throwing gifts and money at those in her audience( because money makes everything ok) has been the best move because its given her the freedom to bring up issues that black women have without being thought of as a race baitor etc etc, I truly feel like if she didnt make herself less threatening black girls the documentary would have never happened nor would have all of the other in depth looks at race and racial issues she has done... Oprah.. Puts it down. And you know what Rae Dawn is Jelly... And Jelly is a horrible place to be.
I think the biggest reason for asian men not dating black women is parents and "what people will think"
1 year, 5 months ago on Video: Asian Men and Black Women Give Advice on How to Date Each Other
Tell us how you really feel America.... Sad just how little we've changed.... could you imagine if the wife was fit curvy naturalista and the father was white????? People would be falling all over themselves to call her fat ugly and dark (no matter how light she was) Sometimes i just wanna fly away
1 year, 6 months ago on How Far Have We Really Come? Cheerios Commercial Draws the Ire of Rabid Racists
This makes me so sad.... What really hit me in the heart was when it talked about the woman who got mistaken for her childs nanny... That happens to me quite often although I like in a small but modern town however to be mistaken for anything but a mother sometimes hurts... People forget Mariah Careys father is quite dark and she is able to "pass" my daughter in comparison to me is extremely fair and the only thing that gives her away is her nose otherwise her race is ambiguous. Sometimes I like it that way because i kinda feel like if people cant figure out what she is they cant be racially insulting to her...
1 year, 9 months ago on Why we should be concerned about the attacks on Michael Jackson’s children
This is so sad and its people give in to the requests who are worse than the idiots making them... If someone is black and can do their job the same as anyone else whats the problem...
1 year, 9 months ago on No African American Nurses To Care For My Baby! What The Cuss?
whats a DBR
1 year, 10 months ago on A Self-Proclaimed 'DBR' Black Woman Reaches Out To Us. It's a Bird's Eye View Into How Some of Us Are the Way We Are.
Also I think some of you guys need to move to the west coast... Doesnt seem so hard to get ANY color of man up here in washington state.....Its actually borderline overwhelming... Mass exodus to washington state yall!!!
1 year, 10 months ago on Serious Question: Why Can White Women Get Married Five Minutes After a Divorce?
@CAPT SMOOTH black women and any interrracial coupling have lower divorce rates.
it is because of the historical idea of white femininity versus black femininity... White women were and are seen as more fragile, less able to take care of themselves without a man, where as just the opposite is seen of black women to the point where we are viewed as almost masculine. Its a sad state of affairs
@Mika85 also I venture to say that I know alot of people that feel the same (desparate vibe) coming from those who frequent BB&W...So I guess perception is everything and nothing at all
1 year, 10 months ago on Question of the Week: On Dating Asian Men, Demanding Someone Christian, and Improvising Race on Online Profiles.
@Mika85 @keimiasmoon @Brenda55 thats a bit presumptive dont you think??? I dont think that they are.
@Toni_M @Christelyn Also I think you are pegging a whole slew of groups based on the ramblings of a misguided few...
@Christelyn @Toni_M I also disagree there is NOOOOO NOBODY WANTS YOU DOCTRINE I think that to imply this is very misleading as the point of these groups is to connect groups that may hold stereotypes or bias against one another (not necessarily malicious bias or stereotypes) and gettting together to address and dispel them while also getting to know each other... I am the Admin and Creator of the new AMBW Unite and our conversations in the group commonly address issues of race and how we relate to each other there have been heated debates and moments of clarity within the group and none of that has anything to do with who does or doesnt want us.
@Brenda55 There is no target audience... In those groups we encourage people to not just try to met people online but to go out and meet people, I think that in general women and men in their 30 is not the target audience for Fb and thus not super represented in specialty group but they do exist... I think also that women expect that they will find someone that they click with over night and no relationship has ever been successful that way.
To quote my earlier conversation with Christalyn: I think that we are definitely last picked and most picked on in termsof interracial dating and within the realm of stereotypes (Asian men and black women) but aside from that I think (AMBW) is less about shoving together cultural whipping boys than finding and uniting two groups that perhaps hold stereotypes or bias or preconceptions about each other and shattering all of those for the sake of a common attraction both romantically and platonically" I am a successor/creator of a pretty successful AMBW group on facebook with over 500 members and have been in a relationship with an asian man for over 2 years... We weed pretty well through the ratchetry more than other AMBW groups thus eliminating women who idolize asian men or are merely there to satiate a fetish. I agree fully that alot of AMBW unions dont happen more often due to a duty that some asian men feel to their families to uphold the family name and to not make waves as asians are overwhelmingly from collective cultures where not making waves or being the one to make trouble is common.... Christalyn told a story of a man going to college and his parents finding out he is dating a black woman and stop funding his education (THAT IS MY CURRENT SITUATION) HOWEVER thats not all asian men or families but I think we'd both be lying if we said it wasnt an issue in alot of AMBW unions. My boyfriend fortunately is amazing and doesnt care what his parents throw at him he is in love and that is what matters to him but alot of guys fold under that kind of pressure. I also wanna say that you find women who are after certain types in ALL interracial dating facebook groups not just AMBW ONES,thirsties know no bounds or restriction.
I think the issue in the black community is that there are too many fingers assigning blame and not enough people willing to not only lead by example but especially not enough people to become involved in educating others about the collective and cyclical indoctrination process that keeps many black people bound to poverty and general ridiculousness. I think that the plight of black people is very unique in that we are very willing to help each other out yet other such races are very quick to help out struggling people of their own race. My sociology teacher calls it the plague of selfishness and blacks who are " not perpetuating the stereotype" are just as guilty of the plague of selfishness as the ghetto mouthpieces who think about themselves over the well being of their children and families while chasing a man etc the fact that you aren't perpetuating a stereotype doesn't make you better or any less broken than a woman with five kids in the ghetto if you both have the same all about me mindset. Something to consider .
1 year, 10 months ago on Are You Willing to Be A Full-Time Activist For Black Women or The Black Community?
@LongNguyen My boyfriend still waiting for word from you!! :) I wish I could convey the need he has to talk to someone who has gone through what we are going through and is also vietnamese.. He feels super alone and it would be great for him to hear from you and learn from your experience... Maybe find out what works and what doesnt work :) He is Tony Do on Facebook and Email is AnthonyDo503@gmail.com (assuming no one will spam him or whatever lol)
1 year, 11 months ago on Vietnamese Guy Gives Real Talk on His Blasian Relationship, Plus How Things Went Down with His Parents
B@Dandelion100 @AshleyFisher black women while not the only Women with these features have been historically scapegoated and discriminated against and even exploited due to these features I think that's the source of the offense thus the racist accusation .
1 year, 11 months ago on Serena Williams Caricatured By a White 'Friend.' Was Her Response Appropriate?
He is Tony Do on FB and I gave Christalyn his email address for you... I showed him this article and he was floored and said "This sounds just like ME!!!!"
1 year, 12 months ago on Vietnamese Guy Gives Real Talk on His Blasian Relationship, Plus How Things Went Down with His Parents
@terrametoo This is because asian men carry on the name, the culture the legacy traditionally.... Girls its different because parents ultimately just want someone who will treat them well and take care of them in the general sense... With men though he carries the family name....
PS @LongNguyen if you are on FB you should talk to my boyfriend about how to emotionally deal with this situation I feel like I can be sympathetic but I cant really understand the depth of what he is going through... Just like you he is the only son and also the oldest so alot rides on who he marries... I feel like he needs someone who knows what he is going through from a cultural standpoint to talk to about how they dealt with it.... If you could I would be forever grateful...
This gives me hope but also makes me said... My boyfriend Tony is Vietnamese and we have been dating for 2 years he just recently told his parents we were dating (he is currently in college and his parents are extremely strict thus prohibit him from dating till he is graduated which is why we kept our relationship a secret for so long) but I grew tired of being a secret so he told them and they werent too happy and told him that "We only date and marry Asians" he got in a fight with them and defended me and our relationship and even went so far as to call them hypocrites as they always taught he and his sister to look beyond race and that racism is wrong... But alas Im sure despite their anti racist teaching their plan for Tony didnt involve marriage to a black woman (He sure did tell them that he was gonna marry me! *does double snap*) Im going to meet them OFFICIALLY during graduation in 6 months (we both graduate from college yaaaaaaay) and we plan on getting engaged within the year, Im hoping that his parents come around... I kinda feel like Ive tried to do so much to make sure that they know I fully respect their culture including learn vietnamese without even knowing them it hardly seems fair that they judge me without knowing me but im hoping that just like the story above they come around.... I have some pretty close bonds with Tonys sister and cousins and I know that they are in my corner... I just feel horrible to be the reason that someone I love could possibly have a bad relationship with the people who gave him life because in that sense I owe my happiness to them and their love for each other... Cross your fingers....Six more months.....
This is why parents need to be well aware of the things their kids do online.... So sad and whats even sadder is that it could have been prevented....
2 years, 3 months ago on News Bits: It Keeps Happening--16-year-old Rape Victim Killed to Keep Her Quiet
MUST have atleast 2 kids ::FAINTS::
2 years, 3 months ago on The Conspiracy is Real: Proof the Media Wants to Keep Black Women as Caricatures!
WHAT IN THE NATURAL HELL.... Appetite...Lost
2 years, 3 months ago on GASP!! Paul Ryan Dated a Black Girl...What Does That MEAN?!
@Toni_M I completely agree VERY VERY VERY amused though to say the least..... reminds me of a high school kid that scored with the illusive and sexually prized black girl and now is soliciting high fives and dap from his friends... So bloodly immature and inappropriate lol its almost funny
@Toni_M Of course its being used!!! :P Its the new I have black friends because a white man with black friends just isnt cutting it anymore apparently... LOL like really who cares... Its like saying I have a mexican american mail man lol your point is sir???? But it makes you realize how much race matters to them that his black ex is even a conversation piece and that he thought that was necessary info to divulge..
@Brenda55 If she does get found I'll be waiting for the comments about how she is a sell out not for dating a white man but for dating an allegedly racist white man with support in policies that negatively affect blacks lol lets hope she doesnt want to be found and that she isnt because I smell that poo storm a MILE away
Also wondering if at some point this black sweetheart is going to come up out of the woodwork with some I didnt date him we just we F buddies or something type mess.... Or if she is shaking her head at him using their relationship to validate his application for the "black" seal of approval
@Christelyn @Toni_M I agree with ur last comment lol ISH has been happening since some of our ancestors came here in ships. "High powered white men being with black women is NOT a new or novel occurrence" Im actually interested to see if his approval rating goes down because of it that would be something to behold....
@Christelyn @Toni_M some perhaps but I think that alot of times it is the belief that with white privilege definitely helps when trying to change discriminatory policies of the "white moral majority"
@Christelyn Again Im not saying ALL so perhaps he is one of the MANY exceptions however the study has been done by many and reported by even more, you of all should know that a link or correlation doesn't mean that everyone under that umbrella will apply it just means more so than not. (No shade tho great post just debating my point :)
@Toni_M Im not saying it doesnt exist but liberal racists are the exception and not the rule according to valid studies
@Toni_M The "black woman" is supposed to be his street cred with the black/minority voters... He couldnt possibly be racist or even in favor of ideas and policies that negatively affect black people because alas he liked a black woman so much once that he dated her...(all the sarcasm I can muster) Its tantamount to the Im not racist I have black friends reply.... I went to school with racists who used that same line (all the while thinking that there was a difference between black people and niggers)..... Kinda blows your mind a little bit.
I know plenty of open minded libs (my boyfriend is one) and even lots of open minded independents... Not so with republicans (Im a lib myself)
I agreed up until "That’s because many fiscally conservative, libertarian and independent card holders possess a string of commonalities rooted from an independent mind, little desire to please others at the expense of their own happiness, and in general, not giving a flying fruitcake what people think. These guys are mavericks.Who like guns. And huntin’." studies show that most fiscally conservative people are usually equally religiously conservative and in tandem those types are more likely to be well not so open minded see http://www.livescience.com/18132-intelligence-social-conservatism-racism.html and other such literature linking conservative beliefs with prejudiced and racist views.... http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=conservatism+and+racism&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart&sa=X&ei=amU1UK_2L6nriwLLrICQCg&ved=0CE8QgQMwAA
@Jamila I agree with this however it has also been determined that it is impossible to determine race via characteristics or physical appearance as there is no one physical trait that one race has that is not also present in other races. Also it has also been said that in many cases the genes of blacks are more variable than of whites meaning 2 black people usually have less in common genetically than lets say black person a and white guy b. But I like that you are objective about the subject. Im also trying to be.
2 years, 4 months ago on GAT-DL Okey-Doke: Black Women "Breeding Out Blackness"?
Also playing devil advocate here just because there is no scientific basis for race, meaning that there is no physical or biological identifier of one group of people that is completely absent in other groups doesn't make the social basis for race invalid it is valid because society makes it valid thus it is the hope that through education and awareness and of course interracial love (which is really just loving and being with who ever the hell you want) it will become less of a social burden. I think that in this situation you also cant minimize the racial struggles of people who look like us. You can "preserve and protect" the social construct of the "black race" through knowing the history of the black people who were brought here and oppressed here as well as by learning and passing on knowledge about the black people before us who have overcome that oppression to do great things.... That being said you don't have to bore 100% black children to preserve and protect "blackness" that I agree is ridiculous and a bit outdated.
My child is mixed (black, white, chinese) and as far as my thinking goes lol she is still apart of the black "race".... Because her mother (me) is black. I think that the breeding out black thing is an issue for some people because regardless of the lacking genetic basis for race the social basis for race is still something that affects us all (whether we want it to or not and whether we acknowledge it or not) and something that as a black woman I struggle with as we all do (for example when random idiots come up to my daughter and I and assume I am the help rather than her mother because she is far to light and I am far to dark for people to conceptualize that she came from me) I think that because women that look like me (dark or variation of cocoa)are still socially made to feel as if we are less than blacks who may be lighter or even mixed thus more socially acceptable which leads to the thinking that if you have a mixed race child you are a perpetrator of the confining politics of race in America ie. you become like the people who oppress black people. This is a sad way of thinking and while I dont agree with it at all by any stretch of the imagination I understand that some peoples struggle with race in America may be more traumatic and have a greater impact on their psyche than it has been on mine and for that i dont bad mouth or blame them because its something that is a result of racial politics in America it just comes with the territory however I hope that one day black women AND men can realize and understand that love isnt dictated by color and loyalty to an oppressed social group that you just so happen to belong to doesnt have to mean having to choose between love and the people who look just like you.....
@Christelyn @Karla The post cheat day mud butt syndrome
2 years, 4 months ago on Racist AND Fat...Ole Miss is the Country's Fattest State for Six Straight Year