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@Browncow @Statuesque I was caught off guard by the "people of color" thing: I just assumed we we're automatically less racist towards one another. Silly, considering all my experiences with colorism with men in my own group *smh*
2 days, 21 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First
@Brenda55 @jesslabellefleur @ScorpioEnigma09 @Keyasha *nods* Can't argue with that. It's not politically correct but after women in their own ethnic group, non Black men of color prefer WW, too. WM are just more ballsy when it comes to BW, my experience.
@Yorkshireman in Michigan @Statuesque @Brenda55 I agree, if you've decided you want to date outside your race, MOST would assume your ready to face your family if you get seriously involved with anyone. Duh! Why put anyone through a painful and embarrassing situation?
@zimekcyn "I know for a FACT that this can happen with any man, no matter the race, culture, religion, or ethnicity"
Which is why I don't have preference, I vet every man individually.
@Browncow I had bad experience too with a Vietnamese male friend who confessed to me that he liked me and I like him, too. Meanwhile, he was talking to a White girl online and chose the White girl instead. It hurt my feelings, but I realized he had issues with being Asian anyway when I thought of conversations we've had: he goes on random rants about WM, then tells our White friends how he envies their colorful eyes and blonde hair. He still wants to hang out with me but I keep myself "busy". I'm currently dating a White guy. I'm sure not all Asian men are like this but Asian people have issues with colorism and self hate like Black people do. Just something I keep in mind now.
2 days, 22 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First
@zimekcyn @Savannah18121 This "BW want WM for money" myth, like really, thank you again Chris Rock for throwing BW under the bus for comic material (sarcasm).
6 days, 15 hours ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?
@Savannah18121 I remember watching an interview Banks did with some BW and BM: Both the BW and BM looked like they wanted to throttle him but he just sat there calm and amused and laid out his case.
@darkandlovely @jillodelight @Christelyn @Yorkshireman in Michigan lol Thanks and I usually try to be nice online but that smug faux enlightment pissed me off, my inner Kola Boof came out lol. The moderators closed the forum literally 10 minutes after cut his ass down cuz they hate it when BW and BM fight on their site (even though it's bound to happen when BM pretend to know better than a BW).
@Vivaforever @jillodelight @Christelyn @Yorkshireman in Michigan Oh, it was definitely another wake up call: I was reminded again how loudest pro Black BM are usually the biggest hypocrites. But the site I was on allows BM to comment and frankly some just turn out to be trojan horses.
6 days, 20 hours ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?
@Lady A She sounds like one of those "good" BW, you know the ones BM are happy for their support but will still refuse to date them.
@Christelyn @Yorkshireman in Michigan That's disturbing, but I'm not surprised. I just got into argument with a BM about colorism who proclaimed that light skinned women are more attractive than dark skinned women and that BW destroyed the Black community b/c of the out of wedlock rate. I tore him a new one of course but this same Black man went all "Black people need to come together and fight!" after hearing about the Eric Garner case. The hypocrisy is staggering sometimes: Intra racism ok, racism from other races, outrage. Got it.
@BreannaNouveaux @zimekcyn @MixedUpInVegas I fully intended just to lurk, I haven't commented on this site for almost a year (still read it though). But it just bothered me that talking about how you felt BW having a spot that focuses on our issues exclusively would be more beneficial to BW translated as "I never want to be around WW EVER! *roar*" It still boggles me that that was the automatic and general response. Like I said I get it.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on QOTW: White Woman Asks, “How Can I Get My Family to Accept My Black Boyfriend?”
@miss 60 @BWC @MimZ241 @FriendsofJay I think narrative narrative surrounding Asian women is a little too romanticized in the BWE community. There's always more than one story, I don't think it makes sense to be in awe of AW simply because they date and marry WM in high rates. There's more to them than that. Their stories and experiences in western society are just as complex as ours. You should check out http://angryasiangirlsunited.tumblr.com/. Really refreshing and eye opening. They go through same stuff many BW and girls did and do.
@BreannaNouveaux @BreannaNouveaux Thank
you so much for your comments :) I totally get where your coming from and it's
a shame you and other commentators were shot down and patronized with the same
"stop being jealous of WW" line. Reading the forum, it
still baffles and disappoints me that was conclusion that folks immediately
jumped to. There's nothing wrong with video and the advice is good, but I
still think it's a little random because most of us thought this site focused
BW's relationships. For example if this WW were dating a BW and she
wanted advice then it would have made total sense that we'd hear about it (even
though I know this is a straight site, just an example).
I think a lot of BWE or BW sites like them have tunnel vision
about us competing against non-BW, that's why the reaction was so knee jerk
when you inquired if this was an exclusive spot about BW's relationships.
Not everything is about competing with non-BW in the feminine wars.
Having a space that's just about us is more important to me than worrying
about whether we measure up non-Blacks in general.
After reading the forum, I just think this a difference of
opinion on what would be more beneficial to BW: drawing boundary lines or being
more inclusive. I happen to believe like other commentators that
boundaries work better but I respect that Chris has made this an inclusive site
since I enjoy diversity sometimes because I could learn something beneficial
(her book helped me a lot).
The main problem with the "white people do it too" excuse is that it suddenly takes a problem that is fixable within a small group and turns it into a GLOBAL problem which nobody could fix. And it works every time with the BC!
John Legend, Russell Simmons, and Danny Glover just produced a new documentary that shows how the war on drugs (aka the WM) destroyed the Black community. The fact that they produced this movie tells me how much BM and their coddlers are devoted to keeping BM unaccountable. The director promoted this documentary on The Daily Show about 2 weeks ago.
1 year, 9 months ago on Why Do We Always Have to Be Reminded that "White People Do It, Too!"
@AJ2011 "Date White, Save Your Life" LOL Could be the title of the next pro-IR BW book. It definitely catches your attention. Has a Black Women Deserve Better ring to it. Cher's book title actually shocked me a few years ago when I came across it on Amazon: I was like "OMG! Can people say this stuff out loud?! *adds book to shopping cart*
@Brenda55 "Use your talents and resources to create that better product."
Yes! That's what I hope more people get and will be inspired to do. I could give two sh*ts what DBR-BM, "Good BM" and their coddlers plan to do. This is more of a wake up call to those who want something different. It's amazing how Messiah Simmons knows coddling and uplifting Lil Skeez is what the community wants. Truly disgusting. In the BC and Black world in general, every problem a BM is causing (colorism,OOW syndrome,crime,brutalizing BW, rejecting BW for being BW) can be remedied by telling us how the BM is suffering or that their abhorrent behavior is a global problem, among all groups, not a personal one. They're a lost cause. I don't care what other races of men and women plan to do with BM but every BW needs to start writing them out their reality and personal narrative *insert obligatory "not all BM of course blah,blah,blah*. They've proven to be useful tools for non-Blacks but they're of no benefit to BW (the Black race as a whole if we wanna be completely honest) I think BW should think and act like pioneer women now.
I've said some pretty inflammatory things, so I know a troll will pop up with "You just hate BM!" BUT That's gotten a little redundant don't you think? To keep accusing a group of women of hating a group of men who have proven time and time again to be unlovable for the last 4 decades?
1 year, 9 months ago on Russell Simmons Speaks Out on Lil Reese Beating. You Buying It?
@Neecy Once again it was all about how we could help this rabid animal, he was the real victim in all of this. I'm really tired of the "it's all the single mom's fault"/"she chose those men" tone these articles always have. BM always write themselves out of EVERY situation. They were the innocent victims of single mothers so they go on to impregnate more women and abandon them and their offspring because Whitey and the mom's, who chose not to abort them, raised, fed, and clothed them alone "smh* They'll say anything to avoid ANY sort of responsibility while promoting phony masculinity ala the Lil Skeezes of the world. If a BW chooses only to deal with these type of men, she needs to just bite the bullet and get her tubes tied (like my cousin did after her second baby with the baby daddy number two *smh*). We don't need any more victims, male or female being brought into the world.
Did you notice in the article, that Russel turned a problem that is worse in the BC, into a global problem suddenly? "Domestic abuse is everywhere, in every trailer park and in every project building and in every rich, gated community." Gawd, what a punk! By turning this into a world problem he once again deflects the attention of BM and makes it seen like abuse is unconquerable. BM are masters at this and it comes so naturally to them. THEY DO THIS ANY TIME A DISTINCTLY BM PROBLEM COMES INTO QUESTION. We're always reminded that it's a global problem when THEIR abnormal behavior is looked at.
1 year, 9 months ago on Thanks to Social Networking, Lil Reese and Def Jam Records are on Notice.
@Toni_M What's sad is how BM (aside from the Taliban) are the only men who think this way. Other races of men are taught not hit women no matter what because it's never a fair fight (sorry feminist but men are physically stronger, most of the time, lets admit it). It's considered cowardly. Showing self restraint is a sign of true masculinity. Sadly, most BM and BW don't get it. I hear BM and BW saying "rachet women" deserve such treatment. Other races of women teach their boys that it's not ok to beat up ANY woman, b/c once you make it ok for some, then it's a done deal. Chaos. Then any woman they don't agree with deserves to be beat down. I've never heard non-BM in mass claim "some women deserve to be hit"
1 year, 9 months ago on Time To Stop Denying The Jihad Against Black Women & Girls: Most Black Women Killed By...You Guess.
@MySmile Exactly, non-blacks don't bring that crap into their real lives
@DeepWater "I'm just wearing nice shorts and nice top" Lol
What's embarrassing is how average women dumb themselves down to fit the image of the video vixen. Or dumb themselves down to excuse bad behavior. It's like these BW have tunnel vision: we've got to support the brothas! The don't realize how trying to fit the image essentially makes you look like a doormat. Why on Earth would you want to be mistaken for the girl Nelly swiped credit card through? This segment BET did was pretty irritating but it's another example of BM being unaccountable followers and BW dumbing themselves down to excuse the behavior. If you get near the end on women even wants to give credit to Nelly for simply gracing them with his presence lol
@astringofpearls Haha, yeah Russell Simmons trying to put together a coherent thought was painful to watch. It was the usual "Well, there's nothing I can do about that, and we as a people..."
@astringofpearls Oh, and the silly BW in regards to rap lyrics: "They're not talking about me!" "If they're not talking about you personally, you shouldn't be offended" *2 HOURS LATER* "Why are all these men grabbing me?!" These BW never understand how much contempt BM have for them, when they don't set standards. Chris Rock even made a joke about BW not thinking it was them being talked about in rap lyrics. Accept reality, people!
Random BM: "Well some of these females is bitches and hoes" I don't know how many times I've had to stop myself from delivering a swift nut punch to almost EVERY BM who parrots this in my personal life. Seriously, even zombies don't follow the crowd like BM.
@astringofpearls Just finished watching it. Byron Hurt seems like he had his heart in the right place BUT everyone went right back to "Blame the WM! They own the companies!" or "It's WM that wanna hear this stuff" *eyeroll* After, watching it I concluded BM were generally passive followers, who KNOW they're just mindlessly following others but feel powerless to do anything about it. Despite all the posturing, not one of them is willing to step up and start their own record companies, promoting the positive messages they claim they want to hear.
My respect for them actually declined even more, surprisingly, after watching this.
The white hip hop fans were just as silly. I wasn't buying what that WW said about hip hop being away to explore another culture. Then Byron asks her and her friends if it promotes stereotypes and they all agree it does. Uh, hello? That's a bad thing lol None of them actually want to know black people, they just use hip hop to feel more enlightened than their ancestors. However, Byron, I was not distracted: he kept deflecting the attention away from BM seeing BW as sperm dumpsters by saying "Well, American culture objectifies women as a whole and worships violence." I wish BM were honest. Can they honestly say non-BM have let misogyny and violence destroy their communities the way BM have let it destroy theirs? As usual it ended with the "We as a people..." blah,blah,blah...Chuck D did say BM have to step up at the end, but when you spend an entire hour blaming WM, I doubt anyone's gonna remember that part. I thought it was ballsy of him to address the homo eroticism: Mos Def and Busta Rhymes were such posers! They got absurdly uncomfortable. Like, 10 minutes before they were talking about being from the hood, and how tough it made them *smh*
@Tammy_Ghalden Lol The comments are ridiculous, people keep saying women shouldn't hit men first. Hello? Did you actually watch the video. I'm pretty sure if a BM walked up to some random BW, and shot her, these same people would say "she may have been a stranger, but you know women shouldn't act all hard" *proceeds grope other shirtless BM* That kind of logic renders BM irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
@Jamila @DeepWater Wow *smh* BM identified much?
@Tammy_Ghalden @Toni_M LOL! He didn't even think about it, it just popped out after the said Polish sausage *smh*
@kisumai Haha! I asked my mom why she was with my dad still and she gave me the same "because of the children" explanation *smh* She's always been extremely anti-divorce: she hates the idea of having a second husband.
1 year, 9 months ago on Watch this Short, Award-Winning Film on Interracial Relationships in Germany: Schwarz Weiss Deutsch
@Tammy_Ghalden lol did you? Sorry, haha.
Signed it and shared it with my sister (our social butterfly) to spread the word.
I think this sausage fest of "music" video offers a clear picture of the average BM subconscious: They really only worship each other. They didn't even have a bunch non-BW gyrating around (those videos are just all about BM worshiping other BM who non-BW are paid to salivate over, once again ALL about them) And the lyrics "A Snitch nigga, that's that sh*t I don't like! A bitch nigga, that's that sh*t I don't like! A punk nigga that's that sh*t I don't like!" Sheer poetry lol The whole obsession with the no snitching policy is another way the BC keeps BM unaccountable for anything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WcRXJ4piHg I think the illiterate little thug is actually wearing the same hoodie he had on when he beat up the that woman.
Little background info on me: My parents came from Sierra Leone, West Africa (Mende tribe). My mom grew up in England (moved there to live with her dad and step mom when she was 13) My parents both moved to the U.S. in the 80's. Maybe how the African men treat African women depends on the tribe but here are my family's experience with sexism. This clip, somehow, reminds me of the lame feuds I see on YT about African women being better than AA BW (Western BW in general)
I notice that a lot AA BM and some Western WM see African women as more submissive and they're not too wrong. From watching my mom and female relatives, they put up with A LOT from their husbands. I never got the feeling that my mom loved my dad or vice versa but she believed it was her duty to put up with the domestic abuse and rampant infidelity from my dad. My mom said that my dad's sexist attitude towards women was normal among Mende men. And I see a lot of Mende women, like my mom, who marry, have kid's, act all happy go lucky and live with controlling abusive men. Hence, I'm not buying the whole "African women laugh more!" bit. No, they just cry a lot in private and vent to other African women.
My cousin (a "traditional" Mende woman) married an AA BM and she let's him treat her like crap aka "he can be the man" in the relationship. Another, married a WM who saw her as submissive (she's indecisive and soft spoken), abused her and left after she had their kid. However, I noticed my favorite aunts (both born and raised in England, ones a judge and the other does missionary work) actually vetted the men their still married to. One is married to a Mende man and the other a Jewish WM. Since, like me, they were born in Western countries, they didn't feel the need to behave "traditionally" and since they had standards, they we're able to find men who actually loved them for them.
I guess the whole point of my story was that insecure men naturally gravitate to women who appear to be more submissive lol? But the character the actress is playing: sorry her comments just annoyed the hell out me but they're typical and I had to say something.
@thecrazyartist @onthewaydown @Kels @astringofpearls Most will simply jump on anything that makes them feel superior to BW. Haha, I bet if his "friends" said that about BM, it'd suddenly be racist. BM have got everyone believing racism means "doing something bad to BM". They heavily promote racism against BW, so non-blacks have an outlet in BW for any deep seated racism they need to let out (how is one ok with dark skin and nappy hair on BM but not on BW? lol). This is why when BM and non-blacks talk about racism, I let out a good and hearty YAWN. They almost never know what their talking about, since they've never actually experienced or honestly faced it. Posers. The lame thing is non-blacks simply view these BM "friends" as cute pets that make them feel like good people lol
@Toni_M @thecrazyartist Haha, I was thinking that. Non-BW are simply a tool to let BW know how superior BM are to us*eyeroll* Don't be distracted by non-BW, IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM, ALL THE TIME . It's sort of like how WW use extreme feminism to let WM feel their Goddess wrath lol Sorry, BM: we put you on that pedestal and we can take you off it.
@astringofpearls @LionMama This is why I respect gay/bi BM who are brave enough to come out of the closet despite the hypocrisy and homophobia of the BC. Down-low BM are nothing but dangerous cowards who deserve no sympathy.
@DeepWater A lot of people didn't even watch the video and assumed she hit first. Remember the BC marching orders" The BW must have had it coming!" The DBR"'s and apologists don't even acknowledge that he was in her home uninvited lol I wish these people would go play in traffic already.
"Somehow someone like Jay-Z was able to overcome the cards he was dealt to become a respectful human being who has learned from his mistakes, and I’m sure with the right opportunities and support, so can all of the Lil Reeses of the world, so don’t turn your back on them. Show love!" Evanka W.
Hahaha! Uh...no honey. The kid gloves are off! It's nice to see no one in the comments section is buying her crap either. The whole "Art over morals" arguments has officially gotten old.
@EmilySpring Can you imagine, even YT pulled this video? After all anti-BW bs it allows because of "freedom of speech"? Even they saw, and quickly, that this behavior was plain sick. This is good. My sister just came from work and she told me her non-black coworkers told her about this video and they were horrified. Good. Too many people are sleepwalking and they need a good jolt to snap them out of it. I know BM are gentle, delicate gifts from God that need to be handled with kid gloves, but it's nice to actually see some people reacting negatively to violence against BW and calling this illiterate thug out.
@EmilySpring Signed it too.
@Toni_M @Mercedes824 What form does your patronous take? Sorry nerd moment, back to the convo.
@ReggieM But don't you think focusing too much on the past has proved useless? I've seen a bunch of Black scholars who hate black women and use black history, the black community as a vanity project while they build up non-black communities. You say we have to work together, but black women have been doing the work ALONE for decades. You should be trying to convince the ones not doing anything, other black men.
@uninterracial @DeepWater @KTW WW are put on a pedestal by WM kinda the way BM are put on a pedestal by BW. I notice both groups are bad about this in America. We both let our gender counterparts get away with anything. That being said anything close to WW are seen as better but at the same time I can't say non-BW (Hispanic, Asian etc.) going missing are given the same attention as WW. The day people abolish pedestals, then everyone will be seen as human.
@reem11 @ironcowboy Oh dear, I can't contain it anymore, so I'll just say it *sigh* BM are pussies, if we're completely honest. If non-BM treated them the way they treat BW, there would be mass suicides among them. Each time I hear a BM whine about "being a BM in America" (we've all witness the rants) and racism, I roll my eyes. The average adult BM couldn't handle what a preteen Black girl goes thru everyday. BM experiences of racism are laughable when compared to BW's experiences. This why I smirk, when they claim to be "the most masculine men". The only thing stopping them from being on the same level as non-BM is their own SELF DESTRUCTIVE NATURE AND SELFISHNESS. BM are a non-issue for non-blacks: would you be intimidated by a man who boast and brags, then puts a gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger?
@reem11 @Kels @astringofpearls This why "black" comedy got old FAST.
@uninterracial Ugh, I remember in middle school and early high school years, being bullied by black boys was an everyday thing for me but even I didn't think to tell my mom. I just made friends with a bunch of different people ( A LOT white guys, a few white girls, both African and AA girls, Asians etc.) thru hobbies and next thing I knew, black boy bullies took me off their radar. It's sad that in order for black girls to feel safe and not invisible, she has to know some non-blacks for protection *smh*
@Kels @astringofpearls Lol I'm trying hard to keep my language clean but D.L. Ugly....*shakes fist* A stream of obscenities came to mind. After the whole Don Imus nappy headed hoes comment, D.L was on a talk show and he basically supported Don Imus's statements saying "Those were some nappy headed hoes!" He laughed, the audience laughed and I wanted to put my fist in his teeth. I really do believe that BM believe non-blacks "respect" them each time they mock their own race. *smh*
@Toni_M @astringofpearls Being angry after awhile drains energy, but when you accept that people will most likely never take responsibility for their actions, you can walk away from those people and their issues. I think when people hear BW say we've given up on BM, they assume we just mean the dating arena but it's a lot deeper than that: it's realizing and accepting that BM are uninterested and hurt the BC, so we're letting it go and moving on with our lives. No point in stressing over people who refuse to change.
@kiki100 @Kels It's like the "BC" is stuck in a hamster wheel: The more BM get more abusive, the "stronger" we get to adapt. Seriously, BW it's time to walk away.
@kiki100 Isn't it weird that non-BW are considered more submissive but they have a group of men that protects (they expect it) them and they call the shots in relationships, but BW are unprotected by their men (they don't even expect it), let BM call the shots in these "relationships" and BW are considered "too emasculating" ? Silly me, trying to find logic in the "BC". *smh*
@Kels Wow, and just when I said in another comment on another post "BW need to accept that majority of BM are not protectors of BW. We're brainwashed to protect them" Everyone just kinda checked out: did they not realize they were witnessing an ASSAULT? Further proof BM are completely inept at protecting BW in word or deed. I guarantee you had a non-BM beat up his non-BW in front of other men, he'd be destroyed in a matter of seconds but with a BW surrounded by BM? Nothing to see here, all in a day.
The majority of BM have never been vague about their contempt for BW, but thanks to social media their sick behavior against BW is getting harder and harder to excuse or ignore (The bus driver, now this?). The stats are proof of what we all knew intuitively and now have visual proof of. Hopefully more BW will realize they don't owe ANYTHING to BM and we're free to move on with their lives.
*scratches head* When you look at the BM collective, one has to wonder why BW are lamenting BM choosing non-BW. They're doing us a favor: a lot of BM obviously harbor a lot hatred towards BW that they refuse to face or resolve, so it could come out at any moment (not all of course, but damn, look at the stats. I can see why a lot of BW don't even bother vetting and just write them off completely) Whatever puts distance between the majority of BM and BW is a good thing (as bad as that sounds). Becky, Lupe, Ming Fatima etc. have a group of men willing to "handle" DBR-BM so they can afford to take a chance on them.
@aceontopofkings After my father passed away, my mom was always EXTREMELY careful about having my little brother around extended "family members" she didn't know. She was always very candid in warning me and my siblings about BM pedophiles.
1 year, 9 months ago on How Blackistan Deals with 'Fast Girls'