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Toni, I hope that you can hear me...! The applause from the Universe is DEAFENING!!!!

1 year, 1 month ago on "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen" And That's Not Going To Change In Feminism

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This may meet opposition, but I'm a little taken back by women who are swirling and on a swirl site congratulating Kerry. Because, honestly, I'm disappointed. I really believed that she was a swirl-girl. And that she certainly was representing this freedom quite nicely! In the BC her marriage is being met with a snide smugness and celebration.SMH. I wish Kerry and her husband well. But we really need sound representation and support and examples of beautifully functioning interracial relationships for BW. These relationships need to be seen and hailed and supported. I almost feel that Kerry took us back a few steps! But all's fair in love and war.

1 year, 2 months ago on Kerry Washington Marries a Black Man, And Yet She STILL Remains the Embodiment of What BB&W Is About

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SMOKING hot...but...some literature of a BW/WM romantically speaking at/to/with one another can be just as "hot". I understand this is a genre including BW/WM. I've a stash myself. And more than likely this one will be joining it! It's well written.

1 year, 5 months ago on Weekend Read: Cora Blu's “BLADE” Book II

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 @Sunshine789

 I completely agree that we just need to show up and appear as ourselves. But I will be watching television and a shampoo or some hair product commercial comes on and the white chick is flinging her head, her hair is shiny and bright and flowing and oh, so soft and silky(words used in the Ad!) lights and camera angles make her look like Mary Mother of God herself ! And I blurt out, "This is Racist!". It is. Then hair relaxer Ads-for us-are appear showing us how we too can have the same hair!

The article is talking about how this is a sickness. How did we become so sick? Why is it still going on so strongly? i see call outs about models in black face and lack of black models and actresses in the media, but very few attacks on the racism of hair. Just on our own blogs and websites such as this one.

PS I watch very little television to avoid its toxicity.

1 year, 5 months ago on Black Women Have a Sickness When It Comes to Hair

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 @Brenda55

 Snarky, hmmm?

Believe me it is just that kind of attitude that keeps me out of such Activism! Jumping into the Racist Snake Pit of hair is NOT a gig I want!! I lead by example.

 

1 year, 5 months ago on Black Women Have a Sickness When It Comes to Hair

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Oops! I was trying to write a comment via mobile and this site is so alive that it hit a glitch. Sorry about that.

As I was saying. BM own racism right now. As far as they and everyone including ourselves are concerned, Racist acts, behaviour and violence ONLY happens to them. They, most of everyone and even ourselves really believe that BM have it harder, rougher, tougher, bad, in society! BW can not equate Racism with our daily lives or personally. The closet we come to it is verbal encounters, which we really categorize as sexism, aka women are snarky, nasty, hateful, catty, bitches!

Our hair issues are Race based. And we need an honest discussion about it without dismissing it as women issues, preference, or no big deal. This goes beyond skin as even light skinned Sisters have woolly heads! It's obviously an extremely strong African trait.

We need to cease hair policing and attacking one another. Aversion to curly/kinky/African hair is brain washing. It's been ingrained in us for many, many generations. In knowing this, I have felt pity and compassion. Initially it has not been our fault. We're perpetuating it. But it's a learned behaviour. An awful Racist conditioning. 

I believe something radical has to be done. Pressure on shampoo Ads, salons, hair dressers, Hollywood. A real campaign. Whomever starts this rolling, I wholeheartedly believe it will snowball.  And so many of us will be behind it. This is NOT trivial. A non issue. This is Racism. It has sincerely hurt and damaged our psyches. It's real. It's caused shame, drastic unhealthy measures, shunning, rejection, ridicule, rage, hate, violence. These actions have been targeted towards straight haired girls too, as a result of jealously, self-hatred, pain. It goes both ways. BW's hair is a Racist issue. Did i say it enough times?

I would like to see more articles, organizations and individuals proactive about this now. What are we going to do about this? How are we going to eradicate this evil Racist conditioning once and for all???

1 year, 5 months ago on Black Women Have a Sickness When It Comes to Hair

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Oh when, oh when will the BS end...? Sigh. Barack and Michelle Obama are going trough exactly what the great Jackie Roberson went through. He endured hideous backlash. Also this woman, Ms. Harris, is not only a political threat but her being black and called attractive, caused a racist reaction. This is foolishness.

1 year, 5 months ago on Did President Obama Owe Kamala Harris an Apology?

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@Kels That was my first reaction as well. Wendy fan! As the article could have been her much more appropriate aversion towards that ridiculous woman. Wendy Williams is so silly. She's crass and at most pitiful. The only embarrassment she warrants is an ugly truth amongst BW. With her deeply racist rooted conditioning that we've all suffered from or at least witnessed up close. She's likeable enough because we understand. Yet can only tolerate in very, very, very small dosages!! (SHUDDER) Don't hate the messenger, dear.

1 year, 6 months ago on 5 Reasons Why The Old Aunt Viv Should Keep Her Mouth Closed

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 @Lexi88

I 100% agree. It's pathetic.

1 year, 8 months ago on ABC's "The Bachelor" is back -- with four Black Women!

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 @heyimPearlilikefries

 WW power and privilege shall be shall be televised!

1 year, 8 months ago on ABC's "The Bachelor" is back -- with four Black Women!

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Tokens. They're going one by one. I started watching for the first time since this shitty show broadcasted and almost fell off of my chair. I'm insulted. It is a game after all. And we are being played.

1 year, 8 months ago on ABC's "The Bachelor" is back -- with four Black Women!

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They look lovely. But...! I am getting just a weeee bit weary and leery of seeing so many African brides in Interracial coupling posts. It subtly reminds me of WM who go overseas for foreign brides, particularly AW.

1 year, 8 months ago on Swirling Eye Candy: Victoria and Brad Rose

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@Toni_M You ain't missing a thing. I watched it for free and morbid curiosity. Just what I expected. But I did realize that the women were experiencing Racism. OUR experience of Racism is ALWAYS a by product of BM! Like Django Unchained. In fact it's appears that we don't experience Racism, it's exclusively a BM's. And only WM dish it.

1 year, 9 months ago on Hot Abercrombie Guy Tells of "Awkward" Interracial Dating Experience

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Sorry for those messed up sentences! Kind of difficult to edit on a mobile. I do it every time! the MAN', not MSN! And, what a great disclosure Chris!

1 year, 9 months ago on Hot Abercrombie Guy Tells of "Awkward" Interracial Dating Experience

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Well, well, well-WELL! The chickens have FINALLY come home to roost!! I must admit, I was expecting it to be the same old okey Dole! With BM gods lording over everyone! But it was our very quiet dirty little secret! Last week I held back on committing on BW gritting their teeth over Michael Ealy's engagement. What I'll say now, I'd that "our" Racist experiences have been under the hands(literally!) of WW. Something that for some strange and odd reason remains in the shadows. I thought about this watching The Help. This was actual the true brouhaha, the gist of that movie. We got caught up in the servitude. I saw the Racism going on from WW who've ALWAYS been complicit with WM! But WM are the only culprits. The MSN was accompanied with Miss Anne! Unbelievable! These harpies! They exercised their waning little power. Scared the boy. What a damn shame. I know there's more to come. But it only means that they will finally be held accountable. Maybe Sisters...we are about to see ourselves be unveiled, sitting on our Royal Thrones! Behold, baby. Behold.

1 year, 9 months ago on Hot Abercrombie Guy Tells of "Awkward" Interracial Dating Experience

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 @zipporah

 I HATED DALLAS too evem though alot of the people I knew loved that trash(along with other prim time soap operas that really had a hard tim admitting Blacks on them!)!And I too loved him as Tony Nelson(great name). I had a crush on him. He was CRAZY funny. Talented. And had a really cool personality. RIP Larry.

1 year, 10 months ago on BREAKING: "Dallas" Actor, Larry Hagman Dies at 81

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 @Toni_M

 Thank you. The only reason why I mentioned "in-depth" is because I like you got irked by this young BW who actually stood up and spewed such nonsense! AMAZING! And I wanted you to really sound off and round every corner for the reason of this psychotic behaviour! You know that BW really think that BM are better than WM and they can't fathom our attraction let alone our choice of WM. And we've fallen for the other nonsense that BM are "sole" victims of society. No one suffers more than them!

I might add, Chris handled that brilliantly. She gave it right back to this young woman where it belonged. She insisted that this poor thing "think". Quite honestly, the young woman probably felt mixed emotions and was scared! Chris gave her the space for autonomy. Excellent.

TheZitaZitomihr(loving your tag!),

America more so with the strict  standard of beauty and masculinity and Racial inferiority complexes, but it goes on in every nook and cranny of the World. Lets work on eradication here, like Chris and Toni(and all of us here) are doing.

1 year, 11 months ago on Why Can't Some Black Women Put Their Interests Above Black Men?

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Although this post was nicely written, I wish that it could have been more in-depth. Everyone here is really taking it personal. I wish that we could really discuss these indoctrinated BW. It's extremely sad. To be victim to such total and complete BS. It's about rejection, low self-esteem, inferiority, and superiority. The latter especially. We are a superficial country. Remember BW are still wrestling to take hold of our part of The Crown Of Beauty. WW have half of it as it is! BM hold HALF of The Crown Of Beauty and Strength for men-I'd dare to say even more. They are the symbol of masculinity. Even White folks believe this. Many BW believe that BM are better than WM. We know of BW, in our own family, who actually brag about a certain White/Asian/Hispanic women who LOVES BM! We really need to address this masculine inferiority/superiority issue. Some WM(and others)are just as hot as SOME BM! And honorable and kind and strong mentally and physically. 

 

 

1 year, 11 months ago on Why Can't Some Black Women Put Their Interests Above Black Men?

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I was waiting for this once I read that inane article. I wanted to run over here and say, "Did you just read the pure shit Clutch just posted???". But I waited. I wish that you weren't so angry(even though it WAS a sucker punch!) and be more philosophical. Because you know that this is all about competition and what we've all experienced one way or another with BW. I really don't think that it would be such an issue if BM were throwing 'swirling' around every where that they went. It would then be so sexy-or funny. 

This woman just seems to be was so petty and pathetic. Even using some out-of-the-loop WM to prove her point! Silly silly broad, smh.

We need not start a war-please. Just understand. It's merely opposition. And keep on SWIRLING!

2 years ago on Liars and Gaslighters: How the New Anti-Swirling Meme Falls Flat

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 @WIF

 I know. i understand. i was just stating something that subliminal. BM/WW relationships are highly romanticised, with both seen as victims. While BW/WM-both-are seen as emasculating.

These conversations are important as we insist on being on the same level as WW and calling out their shit-especially towards us. It's unveiling. An experience is given attention and healing when it is unveiled.

2 years ago on Black Women, White Women, and Intersectionality: Part One of A Response Post

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 @WIFWhy "for some reason, I almost expect racist behaviour from White men, but when a White woman pulls that shit it really stings."? What's the "reason". Because your Mom and little sister are White? And are good "PEOPLE"? Or because you really believe that it's just White men? This is an issue that I have about Racism and White women. There really is a misinformed belief that WW are better than their men. I personally can tell you horrific stories of WW exercising straight up EVIL Racism! You know that this idea is a very solid tool used to keep BW  from dating WM. It's also why BW hesitate to criticize WW. 

 

2 years ago on Black Women, White Women, and Intersectionality: Part One of A Response Post

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 @VintageNarcissa  @justhonest216

 You named the right places for him. Anyway he's off topic. This is a BW's experience. He could have been enlightening and at the very last Healing about OUR  experience  instead of pointing the finger back at us!

2 years ago on Friday Funny: "Swirling Hypocrisy"

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 @PumpkinSpice

 One of the typical abuse and slander of Black womenis to question their sex. What an ugly thing to ask or imply, especially in this forum. And we shouldn't stand for it. You need to go. Be removed. And that should show we mean business. A start in exercising Power.

I'm not talking about the individual Ms. PumpkinSpice. I practice self-love. And engage in what is considered hipster activities, outside the stereotypes of Black women that you just so casually threw out there. nothing positive-including of our menfolk. And I neither hate nor enamor White women-or any other group or sexial orientation. I respect everyone. But right is right and wrong is wrong. I merely suggested that we/Black-WOMEN-demand Power for ourselves.

"Ain't I a woman" is a very layered declaration, Ms. PumpkinSpice.

2 years ago on A Peculiar Situation: One Black Woman's Complicated Relationship with White Women

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It seems that Black men approach White Male Privilege different than we do, therefore they've gotten much further along with their image than we have. We keep trying to find "similarities" and shared "womanhood"! That' a given. We need to insist on shinning the beauty and fairness light on our differences. Our hair. Our dark eyes. Our skin tone. The way we walk. Our intensity. Our flair. What our differences. Black men can go on and on-very proudly! Black men are separated from White men by the same things(some stereotypically so, especially their brawn) but it's respected, honored, has worth.

A while ago I wrote here something Black men in Hollywood and someone responded that it was geared towards a white female audience. It was a reminder to me that they DO have power! And just recently when I saw all of the hullabaloo over Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host/partner, Michael Straihan(a renowned and typical interracial dating/marrying athlete!),I was reminded of that power again. The show is now for a white female audience!  Even certain white men will be checking it out.

Black women either want to hate White women or either be cool with them. What both DO NOT want is unapologetic, unconditional self-loving, power for themselves.

2 years ago on A Peculiar Situation: One Black Woman's Complicated Relationship with White Women

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I'll be glad to read a blog about bi-racial children embracing Whiteness, and what does that entail! I mean, for me, being African-American/Black, is Cultural, loosely based on dark skin. But it's really about language, movement, Art, food, Spirituality, even psychologically.

The Black consciousness, Culture, is unique and beautiful if you're educated about it.Class really doesn't matter. There have been the greatest of Great Black minds, who grew up dirt poor, but have such an appreciation for Black Culture. The Black crazies that we are "avoiding" are suffering from discontent. And that can be found in ALL Cultures.

I feel that it is in the bi-racial person's best interest to "identify" with such an opulent Culture-sorry-I really do. Ours is very inclusive, despite the snags we hit in our day to day life. I keep reading these kinds of blogs and commentaries insistently trying to classify bi-racial people. Separarting them. That mantra that we come in all shades suddenly becomes moot! I stick to that. Their experience is a parent of another culture, just as another "Black" person would have a parent from another state or overseas or in the military and so on. It's an experience. And I think Black folks accept this more than White Americans.  They're changing, but slowly so.

2 years ago on Proud to Be Black Y'all....But Not Necessarily: The Bi-Racial Conflict

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You're missing the point. Confusion is the operative word here! Because White people are too. First of all, as long as within a COC's home,POP are spoken of and about, with love, respect, and reverence-that counts! But  it's perfectly alright to show her magazines/books with dark skinned Black women. She sees her MOTHER. Her MOTHER is beautiful. Her MOTHER is good enough to have her image in Fashion and Art. And dark skinned Black women are merely an archetype for her. The image goes into her consciousness as someone of color It's more psychological. Which is where Racism(and being Colorstuck)resides.

2 years, 1 month ago on Got mixed Kids? You Might Be confused Like Me!

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You know that PLENTY of BMWW couples are going to eat this UP!!!! Have your armor on sisters at the theater! And if you're with your "other race" date/boyfriend/husband don't be surprised if you get a "what are YOU two doing here???" look!!

I love and enjoy comedy and Chris Rock is okay-he's alright. He can be crazy funny and then out right idiotic.

And Delpy is right. Hollywood has the problem-as usual.

I'm not remotely interested. Even though with both talents it is probably a very good film. I'll see it when I see it.

2 years, 1 month ago on Chris Rock Dishes on the Banality of Interracial Relationships

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Nicole Beharie is also my friend in my head. I first saw her in American Violet. The powers that be were lauding the film, because it indirectly concerned African-American men! The theme being about our unfair penal system.

But a Star was quietlyborn. I watched how she took over her role and the film in general. And I knew that she wasn't one of those cookie cutter Black actresses. She has full autonomy. Which is the commonality of those of us who are open to ANY Race of men as friends/Lovers/boyfriends/husbands. And quite frankly that is a great part of the reason why I seek Blogs and Websites such as this most excellent one. Not just for the shared interest in dating/marrying interracially,but for our similar mindsets.

If Ms. Beharie were a White actress dating one of the hottest film stars she'd be all over the tabloids all day and all night! Positive or negative coverage-doesn't matter. She's be covered! And it would boost her career as well(which it just may anyway!) And it is about being a Black WOMAN. We hear about the comings and goings  of that hideous couple,Kanye West and Kim Kardashian every day!

American Violet and My Last Day Without You-AND Shame, weren't critiqued and pushed forth about the African-American female's experience and persona but The Help was???? Please.

African-American women are in need of a really good and ruthless PR department. People praising us, promoting us, looking out for us, no matter what, and by whatever means necessary. Chris's book and movies is a part of that. Thank you.

 

2 years, 1 month ago on Art Imitates Real Life: Married Swirler Give Praise to Nicole Beharie

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Hey Christelyn, you don't have to make up some cockamamie story about being abused in blogs just to get some love and attention! You KNOW that you're the cat's meow! The bees knees!

I'm just kidding. And I Hope that you laughed or smiled. Cheer up darling. This is why I ALWAYS say how I'm so grateful to you and how really beautiful you are and your work is meaningful. I care about your well being.

It boggles the mind the senseless mean spiritedness ad inhumanity in America's Culture. And the AA community lavishes it in a particularly nasty way too. Because if America has a Cold, we have f@%#ing  pneumonia!!

Dry your tears. Shrug it off. Mantra Love.

2 years, 2 months ago on Some Real Talk on 'Swirling': Concerted Efforts to Kill My Soul.

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 @gagagirl

 I know exactly what you're talking about! that is some creepy ass SHIT!!!!!

 

2 years, 2 months ago on When Family Openly Scoffs Your Interracial Relationship

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 @gagagirl

 YES! I remember this! You know gagagirl, the other side of BW/WM relationships and that fact,during Slavery, is rarely brought to light. Just the rape! BM/WW relationships are romanticized-especially by us. When the AA community sees BM in interracial relationships, the BM is seen as the catch, is valued-of course ANY woman especially WW would want him! Notice it's about WW wanting to be with BM. Not BM choosing them. Or! She's seen as an asset for him. Chris or you(excuse me)or me are neither. Valued or an asset. But the funny thing is that once we, BW, are in White interracial relationships, many times, we ARE viewed as a catch or prize by White folks, particularly his friends. There's intrigue and even a funny glee.

2 years, 2 months ago on When Family Openly Scoffs Your Interracial Relationship

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I know how you feel Chris. This is sexist filth going on. You know that in the AA community patriarchy and sexism has a really hard edge to it. Even Hollywood is more enamored of BM than BW. Regardless of how one views these White Hollywood actresses adopting Black babies, I noticed that most of them adopt "male" black babies. I give it up to Angeline Jolie.She consciously chose a"female" black baby and later said that she felt bad for her daughter Z, as her biological daughter had an advantage over her. No one got what she was saying-or chose not to.

Also, something that I wanted to mentioned following  the HBO documentary on The Lovings. Isn't it damn interesting that it was a BW&WM couple who made it possible for interracial marriages to be fully legalized and THE most popular film and reference to the matter is "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner"???? Once again BM riding on our backs! And why don't these fools, like your family members(no disrespect), snicker at BM/WW relationships when Slavery rape is ALWAYS flung in our faces, but never are BM reminded of WW falsely accusing them of rape or their fear of it? Nor are BM reminded over and over of the many, many White families that disown their daughters and their Black mothers/family take up the slack!

I just see this as a covert way of you should be with a BM.

Keep at your work to evolve and revolutionize BW.Because that is what needed. To push us and break us out of "our place" and shell. We so need autonomy like BM have greatly if not fully achieved for themselves.

Again, no disrespect, but in every sense of the word, that mess that you experienced was pure ignorance.

2 years, 2 months ago on When Family Openly Scoffs Your Interracial Relationship

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Pass. I too will wait for DVD or cable or whatever...This is clearly for the Brothers. Tarantino's friends. That's nice. But it's getting old for me as an African-American woman. Most of these block buster/Independent films seem to be African-American male oriented.  In regards to this film, it's kind of funny because African-American men mix and sleep(as we VERY well know)with White folks effortlessly! So this is just an ego booster! And keeping us in our place. Not interested.

2 years, 3 months ago on Take a Peek at the 'Django Unchained' Trailer Featuring Kerry Washington

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SIGH! Memories! She is so lovely! Thelma was like one of the first, beautiful,  girl next door, with education, Black girls on television! Nice interview. Perfect. Thank you.

2 years, 5 months ago on BB&W Exclusive: "Thelma" from "Good Times" Talks Black Women & Interracial Relationships

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BTW, is it just me, but are we seeing a lot of only rainbeaus marrying young black women? I say, well played. Asian women have done it for eons

Can I get an Amen up in here!

2 years, 5 months ago on Chris Noth Marries His Baby's Mom!

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 @Christelyn

 THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! I am so cynical and distrustful of  Prime Time television. It hasn't been supportive of Black folks in general, let alone Black women! It's always some jacked up junk NO ONE wants to see or watch.

I see the soap opera format too. That plays  a whole lot in SWW shows and they turn out to be  very successful. I'd like that for Keryy, for us.To see a prism of Black womanhood for once that doesn't just center around her own people.

I want this show to succeed. I really do. God I do! But even if that happens it could be yanked, messed with.

Finers crossed!

Love you Christelyn!!!!!

 

2 years, 5 months ago on 'Scandal' Episode One and Episode Two Open Thread: What Did You Think of the Show?!

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I see that folks here aren't quite feeling the show. Not completely. Not a good sign.

I'm a Kerry Washington fan and have been for a while. She is representative of the Black girl America rarely shines the floodlights on. Independent. Beautiful. Stylish.. Classy. Very intellligent. Funny. Quirky.

I don't see this show going beyond a few episodes. It's stiiled. Washington's character has no real personality. She's a cookie cutter character. Tough. Professional. Cool(as in no emotions. WOW! It was mentioned in the first episode-'no crying!' Seriously???) and ruthless. Rather than Mammy, I see Superwoman!

I'd rather see a show based on Washington herself!!

2 years, 5 months ago on 'Scandal' Episode One and Episode Two Open Thread: What Did You Think of the Show?!

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Oh ...my...! It certainly is a question/stereotype that is TIRED!!!

I am really sympathetic towards BW who DO come undone by BM/WW. That, sympathy, and compassion have been denied us for so long and continues. We get a lot of pity though!

I have witnessed(and personally in my own family)BW who do not care for BM/WW pairing yet and still love, adore, care, and just about their adopt biracial children. We are the first and only women who always step up to plate.

It has gotten better. White families are slowly coming around. But we've been the most likely extended family to care take and love. Keep that in mind despite the other nonsense. It's not just about jealousy and being a bigot. It's stress and concern and weariness.

And BW who sneer or not sneer at BW/WM have the attitude that BW are ESCAPING all of that shit!! And BM just want their cake and eat it too. They want it all!

Whit women need to give us more credit. They know better.

2 years, 7 months ago on Question of the Week: A White Woman Asks, "What Do Black Women Think of My Interracial Marriage?"

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