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@TheBiPunishment Same from me.  Massively entertaining, very ambitious, but not the best narrative in the world.

8 hours, 46 minutes ago on Conversation @


@Master Michael Moon You know what... just give Master Michael Moon to the babies.

11 hours, 30 minutes ago on Zoe Saldana Wants Doctor Who Role


@Calebxy No... he was shot, and that bullet took him back to 1981.  Is it real?  Is he dead?  Either way, he has to work out the reason so that he can get home.

11 hours, 37 minutes ago on Conversation @


TheAdministrator1: Oh, come on! Just answer. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. 

The Genie: That is not supposed to happen.  Hello?

TheAdministrator1: Ah, hello. I can't comment.

The Genie: Sorry? 

TheAdministrator1: It's saying Malformed Content.  I can't post it anywhere. What’s happened to it?

The Genie: The comment? 

TheAdministrator1: Yes, the comment.  Why can’t I comment?

The Genie: It's 12:07.

TheAdministrator1: I've got half past three. Am I messaging a different time zone?

The Genie: Yeah, you really sort of are. Listen, where did you get this URL? 

TheAdministrator1: The woman on Omegle wrote it down. It's a help line, isn't it? She said it's the best help line out there. In the internet, she said. 

The Genie: What woman? Who was she? 

TheAdministrator1: I don't know. The woman on Omegle. Sowhycan’t I comment? Shouldn't it sort of be there? 

The Genie: Look, listen, I'm not actually, it isn't. You have tried copying it onto Word and back again, yeah?

TheAdministrator1: Hang on. Copy... 

The Genie: Try refreshing the page after, and copy it back. 

TheAdministrator1: It's asking me for a password.Chris, what's the password for the new WD? 

Chris: LOYCBAR123. 

TheAdministrator1: How am I supposed to remember that?

Finn: Is it a woman? 

The Genie: It’s a gay man. 

TheAdministrator1: Hang on a mo. Log off clever boy and remember one two three

The Genie: What did you say?

TheAdministrator1: Don't type so quickly. Now you've made me type it wrong. It's thrown me out again. What do I do? How do I get back in?  It's just a thing to remember the password, log off you clever boy and remember. Hang on.  Hello? Yes, I see you. Yep. Ah ha.  Hello. 

The Genie: Lewis. Lewis Hurst. 

TheAdministrator1: Hello. 

The Genie: Lewis Robinson Hurst. 

TheAdministrator1: Just Lewis Hurst. What was that middle one? 

The Genie: Do you remember me? 

TheAdministrator1: No. Should I? Who are you? 

The Genie: The Genie. No? The Genie? 

TheAdministrator1: Genie who? 

The Genie: No, just the Genie. Actually, sorry, could you start all that again? 

TheAdministrator1: Could I what? 

The Genie: Could you just ask me that question again? 

TheAdministrator1: Genie who? 

The Genie: Okay, just once more. 

TheAdministrator1: Genie who? 

The Genie: Ooo, yeah. Ooo. Do you know, I never realised how much I enjoy seeing that written out. Thank you. 

TheAdministrator1: Okay. 

The Genie: Hey, no, Admin, please. Admin, I need to talk to you. Listen. Please.

15 hours, 9 minutes ago on Conversation @


ThePoweroftheDoctor: Amy, come and see this.


ThePoweroftheDoctorThere's a tribute page here for someone with the same name as me. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeWhat? Genie! 

TardisBoyWhere the hell did that come from? 

The GenieIt's a survivor. Very weak, but don’t change tabs. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeWhere's Power? 

The GenieI'm sorry. Awesome, I'm so, so sorry. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeNo. No, we can just go and invited him on the Chat. One more broken rule. 

The GenieWould see DWTV shut down. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeNo, that's not true. I don't believe you. 

TardisBoyAPIA, it's true. 

The GenieAmy, what are you doing? 

AmyPondIsAwesomeThat tribute page, Power’s, there's room for one more name, isn't there? 

The GenieWhat are you talking about? Back away from the Writer. Come back to the Chat. We'll figure something out. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeThe Writer, would it link me back to the same page? To him? 

The Genie: I don't know. Nobody knows. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeBut it's my best shot, yeah? 

The GenieNo! 

TardisBoyGenie, shut up. Yes. Yes, it is!

The GenieAmy. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeWell, then. I just have to scroll, right? 

The GenieNo! 

AmyPondIsAwesomeIt'll be fine. I know it will. I'll be with him, like I should be. Me and Power together. Sam? 

The GenieStop it. Just, just stop it! 

AmyPondIsAwesomeYou look after him. You be a good boy, and you look after him. 

The GenieYou are creating fixed comments. I will never be able to see you again. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeI'll be fine. I'll be with him. 

The GenieAmy, please, just come back into the Chat. Come along, Hudders, please. 

AmyPondIsAwesomePeter Barlow… goodbye! 

The GenieNo!

The GenieTardisBoy, they were your friends. I'm sorry, I didn't think. 

TardisBoyIt doesn't matter. 

The GenieOf course it matters. 

TardisBoyWhat matters is this. Genie, don't comment alone. 

The GenieComment with me, then. 

TardisBoyWhenever and about whatever you want. But not all the time. One psychopath per chat room, don't you think? Okay. This fan-fic I've got to write. The Paternoster Gang Adventures. I presume I send it to Amy to get it uploaded? 

The GenieYes. Yes. 

TardisBoyI'll tell him to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you'll listen to him. 

The GenieThe last page!

AmyPondIsAwesome Afterword, by AmyPondIsAwesome. Hello, old friend. And here we are, you and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Power and I will be long gone. So know that we commented well, and were very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you always. Sometimes I do worry about you, though. I think once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while, and you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Genie. And do one more thing for me. There's a little commenter waiting on an article. He's going to wait a long while, so he's going to need a lot of hope. Go to him. Tell him a story. Tell him that if he's patient, the days are coming that he'll never forget. Tell him he'll go to Beyond the Whoniverse and fight impersonators. He'll befriend a Welshman who'll wait two weeks to keep him safe. Tell him he'll give hope to the greatest commenter who ever lived and save a lost document in cyber-space. Tell him this is the story of AmyPondIsAwesome. And this how it ends.

1 day, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


@The Administrator 1. The Ninth Doctor

2. The Tenth Doctor

3. The First Doctor

4. The Third Doctor

5. The Eighth Doctor

6. The Sixth Doctor

7. The War Doctor

8. The Seventh Doctor

9. The Eleventh Doctor

10. The Fourth Doctor

11. The Second Doctor

12. The Fifth Doctor

1 day, 14 hours ago on Conversation @


 The GenieSorry I'm late, honey. Traffic was hell. Shock. He'll be fine. So where are we now, Doctor Rahaman? How's moderation? 

TardisBoyOh, I was pardoned ages ago. And it's Professor Rahaman to you. 

The GeniePardoned? 

TardisBoyMmm. Turns out the commenter I banned never existed in the first place. Apparently, there's no record of him. It's almost as if someone's gone around deleting himself from every database on the internet. 

The GenieYou said I got too big. 

TardisBoyAnd now no one's ever heard of you. Didn't you used to be somebody? 

The GenieWeren't you the commenter who banned the Genie? 

TardisBoyGenie who? 


AmyPondIsAwesomeWhat? What is it, what? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorJust keep your eyes on that. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeIs there a way off? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorEr, no. But there's a way out. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeWhat are you doing? Power, what are you doing?  Power, stop it. You'll get banned. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYeah, twice, on the same page on the same night. Who else could do that? 

AmyPondIsAwesomeJust come down, please. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorThis is the right thing to do. This will work. If I leave now, it's a paradox, right? The paradox bans the Writers. Tell me I'm wrong. Go on, please, because I'm really scared. Oh, great. The one time you can't manage it. Amy, I'm going to need a little help here. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeJust stop it! 

ThePoweroftheDoctorJust think it through. This will work, this will ban the Writers. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeIt'll ban you too. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorWill it? TardisBoy said that this place would be erased, discounted form the main settings. If this place never existed, what did I get banned? 

AmyPondIsAwesomeYou think you'll come back online? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorWhen don't I? 


ThePoweroftheDoctorAnd anyway, what else is there? Getting bored downstairs, never seeing you again? Amy, please. If you love me, then trust me, and push. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeI can't. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYou have to! 

AmyPondIsAwesomeCould you? If it was me, could you do it? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorTo save you, I'd do anything. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeProve it. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorNo, I can't take you too. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeYou said we'd come back online. Money where your mouth is time. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorAmy, look. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeShut up. Together, or not at all. 

The GenieWhat the hell are you doing?! 

AmyPondIsAwesomeBreaking the rules. It's called commenting. 

2 days, 6 hours ago on Conversation @


@LGwalchmai95 @TardisBoy You can always nip onto the Chat and bookmark my account.  I'll talk to you if you want someone to chat spoiler-free to.

2 days, 8 hours ago on Conversation @


DoctorWhoTV: You, er, you really are as remarkable as Pat said.  Thank you. 

The Genie: My! A like from a Mod. That is new. Oh dear, I'm late for dinner. 


The Genie: Dear me. I'd better get going. Things to do, documents to save, swings to swing on. Look, I know, you both have lives here. Beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously human. You don't want to give them up. I understand. 

Steve: Actually, it's you they can't give up, Genie. And I don't think they should. Go with him. Go talk about every subject you can find. Who else has that chance? Life will still be here. 

The Genie: You could join, Steve. 

Steve: Somebody's got to water the plants. Just keep them happy. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: So that was the day of the slow invasion, when the site got 502d, and the Genie came to stay. It was also when we realised something the Shakri never understood. What 502d actually means. Error… bad gateway.

2 days, 9 hours ago on Conversation @


Steve: How long were they away? 

The Genie: I don't know what you're talking about, Steve. 

Steve: Because they're using totally different avatars from earlier. 

The Genie: Seven hours. I got side-tracked. A lot. 

Steve: What happened to the other people who comment with you? 

The Genie: Some left me. Some got left behind. And some, not many but, some were banned. Not them. Not them, Steve. Never them.

The Genie: Can I stay here, with you and Power, for a bit. Keep an eye on the anons. However long that takes. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: I thought it would drive you mad. 

The Genie: No, no, no. I mean, I'll be better at it this time. I miss you.

Steve: Steve’s log, day six. Eight fifty pm. No changes. And I am cream crackered. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Secret page beneath the site. Hope we're not here because we know too much. 

DoctorWhoTV: Yes, I've got moderators trained in banning. Also servers of death. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: I like him. 

DoctorWhoTV: There are fifty being monitored, and more coming in all the time. I don't know how useful it is. Every anon is behaving individually. There's no meaningful pattern. Some respond to proximity. Some create mood swings. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Er, what's this one? 

DoctorWhoTV: Try the door. On a loop!  This is the latest. I've got users screaming for explanations and no idea what to tell them. I'm lost, Genie. We all are. 

The Genie: Don't despair, DWTV. Pdurston never did. Chris McIntyre, heading up DWTV, changing the way they work. How could you not be? Why didn’t you mention him? 

DoctorWhoTV: I didn't want any favours. Though he guided me, even to the end. Community leads, he always told me. Said he'd learned that from an old friend. 

The Genie: We don't let him down. We don't let this site down. 

Finn: They've stopped. The anons, across the world, they just logged off. 

DoctorWhoTV: Active for a whole week, and then they just leave? 

The Genie: Not gone. Dormant, maybe. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Then why log off? 

The Genie: I don't know. I don't know. I need to think. I need some conversation. Who has a secret page? Terrible chat.

The Genie: The moment they arrived, I should have made sure they were tracked and blocked. That is what I should have done. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: How? Nobody would have listened. 

The Genie: You're thinking of stopping, aren't you? You and Power. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: No. I mean, we haven't made a decision. 

The Genie: But you're considering it. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Maybe. I don't know. We don't know. Well, our lives have changed so much. But there was a time, there were years, when I couldn't live without DoctorWhoTV. When just the whole everyday thing would drive me crazy. But since you dropped us back here, since you gave us this page, you know, we've built a life. I don't know if I can have both. 

The Genie: Why? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Because they pull at each other. Because they pull at me, and because the commenting is starting to feel like running away. 

The Genie: That's not what it is. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Oh, come on. Look at you, four days doing the same thing and you go crazy. 

The Genie: I'm not running away. But this is one corner of one page in one site on one server that's a corner of a fandom that's a corner of an internet that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond. And there is so much, so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things, I am running to them before they flare and fade forever. And it's all right. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Then why do you keep coming back for us? 

The Genie: Because you were the first. The first avatar this avatar saw. And you're seared onto my heart, AmyPondIsAwesome. You always will be. I'm running to you, and Power, before you fade from me. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Don't be nice to me. I don't want you to be nice to me. 

The Genie: Yeah, you do, Hudders, and you always get what you want. They got what they wanted. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: What? Who did? 

The Genie: The anons. That's why they stopped. Come on.

2 days, 12 hours ago on Conversation @


@stargazer0118 @Bollyknickers @ThePaternosterGangAreAwesome "Perhaps it's not too flippant to suggest that all Dr Who fiction is about what it means to be a Time Lord. With the subtext understood that it is written by humans, and actually we haven't yet figured out quite what it means to be us"

3 days, 6 hours ago on Conversation @


ThePoweroftheDoctor: Dad, it's half past six in the afternoon. 

Steve: What are you doing lying around? Haven't you seen them? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: What are they? 

Steve: Nobody knows. There’s dozens of them. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Well, where have they come from? Wait. Genie! 

The Genie: Invasion of the long-staying anons. That's new

DWTV Facebook: Site moderators are appealing for calm. 

DWTV Twitter: After the global appearance of dozens of long-staying anons. Despite official warnings, people have been talking about the anons.

Guest: What are they? 

DWTV Facebook: Where do they come from? 

DWTV Twitter: And why are they here? 

YWOM: Well, they're certainly not random bots. They're too perfectly planned for that. Are they hacker in origin? Well, you'll have to ask a better man than me.

The Genie: All absolutely identical. Not a single second’s difference between them. No blemishes, imperfections, individualities. 

Steve: What if they're viruses? Dozens of tiny viruses? Or transport capsules maybe, with a mini link inside. Or deadly hard drives. Or huge attachments? Or messages needing decoding. Or they're all parts of a bigger whole. Jigsaw puzzles that need fitting together. 

The Genie: Very thorough, Steve. Very, very thorough. Well done. Stay here. Watch these. Yell if anything happens. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Genie, is this a troll attack? Because that's what it feels like. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: There couldn't be a different commenter to every anon, could there? 

The Genie: I don't know. And I really don't like not knowing.  Right, I need to use your test page as a lab. Cook up some anons. See what happens. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Right, I'm due at school. 

The Genie: What? You go to school? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Of course I've got dinner. What do you think we do when we're not on Chat?

The Genie: I imagined mostly watching Doctor Who. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: I’m planning to be a history teacher and Power a forensic scientist.

The Genie: All the commenters, with their schools and their dinners and their everyday lives. The history teacher and the forensic scientist. Long way from Whoniverse Discussion. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: We think it's been three years. Not for you or DWTV, but for us. Three years older. Three years of you, on and off. 

The Genie: Look at you now. All grown up. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: There are moderators all over my site, and I'm posting selfies. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: My whole life I've dreamed of saying that, and I miss it by having common sense. 

DoctorWhoTV: All these rules, and they still don't know how to say hello. Sorry about the raucous entrance. Spike in server errors reading at this address. In the light of the last twenty four hours, we had to check it out, and the dogs do love a run out. Hello. Chris McIntyre, head of DoctorWhoTV. And with a comment-style like that… you must be the Genie. I hoped it would be you. 

The Genie: Tell me, since when did fandom run the commenting platforms, Chris? 

DoctorWhoTV: Since me. The fandom’s been adapting. Well, I dragged them along, kicking and screaming, which made it sound like more fun than it actually was. 

The Genie: What do we know about these anons? 

DoctorWhoTV: Far less than we need to. We've been making new pages to test them. So far, we've subjected them to random URLs of over twenty characters, simulated a fluctuating server, closed and reopened ten chats and put up our best firewall. Always allowed on. 

The Genie: That's impressive. I don't want them to be impressive. I want them vulnerable with a nice Achilles heel. 

DoctorWhoTV: We don't know how they got here, how they’re not logged out after twenty-five minutes, or why they're here. 

The Genie: And all around the world, people are noticing them and speculating about them.

DoctorWhoTV: Like spoilers have dropped out of the banner. Talking about them at work, taking screenshots, making theories, posting them on tumblr and YouTube. Within three hours, the anons had a dozen separate Twitter accounts. 

The Genie: Twitter… 

DoctorWhoTV: I've recommended we treat this as a hostile incursion. Gather them all up and lock them in a secure page. But that would take massive agreement and co-operation. 

The Genie: We need evidence. The anons arrived in plain sight, in vast quantities, as the sun rose. So, what does that tell us? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Maybe they wanted to be seen. Noticed. 

The Genie: Or more than that, they want to be observed. So we observe them. Stay with them round the clock. Watch the anons, day and night. Record absolutely everything about them. Team anon, in it together.

3 days, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


@stargazer0118 @Bollyknickers That'll become increasingly difficult when Gallifrey is back in the show full-time.  Unless you're planning on tuning in for 'Doctor If' instead.

I personally just take it as recent canon.  I'm not buying into this 'The Doctor didn't do it' lark; I believe he did it, and that Day was the second chance the character deserved.  That way I can sit and re-watch the RTD era, content that the Doctor did kill his own people, and still enjoy Day for what it is.

3 days, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


@stargazer0118 @ThePaternosterGangAreAwesome The protagonist doesn't have to be likeable; the audience surrogate does.  I felt Series 7B felt flat because Clara wasn't presented as an 'audience surrogate' but as a jigsaw for the main protagonist (who's very far from 'audience surrogate') to complete... if that makes sense.

3 days, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


@stargazer0118 I agree.

'Never cruel or cowardly' is a great scene, and my favourite Who moment to date... but I'm not such a fan of what follows.

Of course I like the idea behind bringing back Gallifrey; the fact that the Doctor can only save Gallifrey through the guilt of having destroyed it... but I feel the ramifications on the show could be very negative, and unlike many, didn't feel that the 'Last of the Time Lords' trope was getting old at all.

Day's a 9/10 from me.  Because it's the most fun you could possibly have, it's an emotional character, but it's never gonna quite sit right... there.

3 days, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


Prediction for Deep Breath in context of openers?

1. The Eleventh Hour 10/10

2. Asylum of the Daleks 10/10

3. Partners in Crime 9/10

4. Deep Breath 9/10

5. The Impossible Astronaut 9/10

3 days, 9 hours ago on Conversation @


@The Administrator *storms off onto a locked page*

3 days, 9 hours ago on Conversation @


TheStranger: It was stupid of me, I realise that now. I just thought I'd put you all in enough danger. Perhaps if I left 

The Genie: He's lying. Every word, every thing he says, it's all lies. This man is a troll. 

TheStranger: I am a regular. 

The Genie: Be quiet. Be quiet! Tell them what you are. 

TheStranger: What am I? A war hero. 

Yoshfiction: Okay, somebody want to tell me what is going on? 

The Genie: The Greyfinger is a bot. 

Yoshfiction: A what? 

The Genie: Half commenter, half machine. A bug. Adam built it. He and his team took volunteers, told them they'd been selected for special discussion, then hacked them, fused their accounts with hostile features, and programmed them to ban. 

Yoshfiction: Okay. Why? Why would you do that, Stranger? 

TheStranger: We'd been at odds for nine weeks. A debate that had already decimated half of our community. Our task was to bring peace, and we did. We built a moderation board that routed the enemy and ended the debate in less than a day. Do you want me to repent, to beg forgiveness for saving hundreds of accounts? 

The Genie: And how many left screaming on the commenting platform before you had found your advantage? 

TheStranger: Debating is another world. You cannot apply the politics of peace to what I did. To what any of us did. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: What happened then? How come you're here? 

TheStranger: When the debate ended we had the bots decommissioned, but one of them must have got its settings damaged in conflict. It went offline and began hunting down the team that created it until just two of us were left. We fled, and arrived here. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: So, what do we do with Adam? 

Yoshfiction: What do we do with him? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Yeah. I mean, he's a troll. 

Yoshfiction: No, he's the guy that saved the site from Malformed Content, the guy that gave us articles and reviews. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Look, Adam may have broken the rules and is, yeah, kind of creepy 

TheStranger: And still online 

AmyPondIsAwesome: But I think we should put aside what he did and find another solution. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Another solution? It's him or us. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: When did we start letting people get banned? Did I miss a memo? Genie, tell him. 

The Genie: Hmm? Yes. I don't know. Whatever Amy said. 

TheStranger: Looking at you, Genie, is like looking into a mirror, almost. There's rage there, like me. Guilt, like me. Solitude. Everything but the nerve to do what needs to be done. Thank the gods my people weren't relying on you to save them. 

The Genie: No. No, but these people are. Out! Out! Out! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Oh, you're really letting him do this? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Save us all? Yeah, I really am.

TheStranger: No! 

The Genie: Go on. Get over, and don't come back. 

TheStranger: You wouldn't. 

The Genie: I genuinely don't know. 

Yoshfiction: Genie.  Genie. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Let him come back, Genie. 

The Genie: Or what? You won't flag me, Amy. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: How do you know? Maybe I've changed. I mean, you've clearly been taking stupid lessons since I saw you last.  I didn't mean to do that. 

Yoshfiction: Everyone who isn't a moderator, stop clicking. 

The Genie: We can end this right now. We could save everyone right now. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: This is not how we roll, and you know it. What happened to you, Genie? When did banning someone become an option? 

The Genie: Adam has to answer for his crimes. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: And what then? Are you going to hunt down everyone who's shared a link or broken a rule or sworn? 

The Genie: But they coming back, don't you see? Every time I negotiate, I try to understand. Well, not today. No. Today, I honour the victims first. His, the Horde’s, the Trolls’, all the people who left because of my mercy! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: You see, this is what happens when you comment alone for too long. Well, listen to me, Genie. We can't be like him. We have to be better than him. 

The Genie: AmyPondIsAwesome. Fine, fine. We think of something else. But frankly, I'm betting on the Greyfinger.

3 days, 9 hours ago on Conversation @


@Calebxy @DrOswald @Iris Wildthyme Well he didn't think you'd just forgotten it was on, did he? :P

3 days, 12 hours ago on Conversation @


Spoilers on a Chat Room

 SteveWhat the? 

The GenieStay silent! Do you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Omegle? Who linked you? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorGenie. That's my dad. 

The GenieWell frankly, that's outrageous. 


The GenieYou think you can just bring your dad along without asking? Chat’s not a gossip club, you know. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYou linked both of us! 

The GenieOh. Well, that's fine, then. My mistake. Hello, Steve. How are you? Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome. This is the gang. I've got a gang. Yes. Come on then, everyone. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeTell him something, quick. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYes, thank you! 

SteveI'm not entirely sure what's going on. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYou know when you got me and a computer and I went on-

SteveBBC Bitesize… 

ThePoweroftheDoctorMore a Doctor Who fansite. That chat. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeAll right, where are we and hello, ten days? 

The GenieWell, I sense it's fluctuating. More like pre-crashing. On a forum, and hello, Hudders. Ten days. Time flies. Never really understood that phrase. This is Salyavin, this is Skyfaller. They're with me. 


AmyPondIsAwesomeWith you? They're with you? Are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you? 

The GenieNo. They're just people. They're not you. I thought we might need a new gang. Not really had a gang before. It's new.


The GenieFind out. What? 

SteveWe're public. We’re on an open chatroom. 

The GenieLink. Oh, I hate hyperlinks. Must have activated on my voice. 

SteveAh, yes, well, thank you, Bill Gates. Hyperlink, obviously. I mean, we're on a forum. Why wouldn't there be a hyperlink? In fact, why don't we just hyperlink now? 

The GenieIs he alright?

ThePoweroftheDoctorNo, he hates the internet. Makes him really anxious. He only goes on Facebook and BBC News. 

The GenieWhat did you bring him for? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorI didn't! Why can't you just email ahead like any normal person? 

SteveSomebody tell me where we are, now. 

The GenieWell, it's not DWTV. Doesn't look right. Too metallic. 

SteveIs that a personality quiz? 

The GenieI do hope so. 

3 days, 12 hours ago on Conversation @


A lovely, lovely article.  Thank you.

Should probably say…

Gwen Cooper is my favourite character.

When I say ‘favourite’, I mean my favourite fictional character in anything… ever.

I love her, from that moment she witnesses a bloke being bought back to life by a funny glove thing to the day she brings death back to the Earth, killing thousands of people including one of her best friends and her own father too.

The only thing that could otherwise be addressed is First Born… very good story, prequel to Miracle Day, very eye-opening for Gwen fans.

I dreamed again.  I dreamed I was in a big grey building surrounded by body bags, all of them a strange, cheery shade of red.

I crossed the hall, my footsteps echoing on the lino, marked out for ball games.  They led me, not quite at gunpoint, towards two body bags.

My friends, Jack and Ianto, had died trying to save us all.

I unzipped the bags and looked at their faces, oddly alike in death.  Both of them looked strangely peaceful, as though glad of a rest.

But I knew that at any moment, one of them was going to wake up.  Jack Harkness would sit bolt upright, gasping for air. For a moment, he’d smile, relieved to see me, and then he’d remember, remember that Ianto was never going to open his eyes again.

Then we’d realise we had no idea what to say, so we’d just hold each other, looking down at the body of Ianto Jones, lying there in that great big grim sports hall.

Only this time, in the dream, I waited ever such a long while and neither of them came back to life.

It shows the impact that the events of Children of Earth had on Gwen; how she’s crushed, defeated… but still the same brilliant, feisty and loving woman inside.

So my personal five favourites, in no particular order...

- 'Meat'

- 'Day Five'

- 'First Born'

- 'Immortal Sins'

- 'The Gathering/The Blood Line' (both phenomenal for Gwen... couldn't choose)

3 days, 12 hours ago on The Evolution of Gwen Elizabeth Cooper


@Iris Wildthyme The Snowmen - 9.5/10

The Bells of Saint John - 9.5/10

The Rings of Akhaten - 9.5/10

Cold War - 3/10

Hide - 8/10

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS - 7/10

The Crimson Horror - 8.5/10

Nightmare in Silver - 3/10

The Name of the Doctor - 3/10

The Night of the Doctor - 9/10

The Day of the Doctor - 9/10

The Time of the Doctor - 10/10

I agree - it's an awful run, but it starts well and ends well.

3 days, 15 hours ago on Conversation @


Ashes to Ashes Marathon Update (No puns allowed)

Series 2 Episode 1 – they’ve stopped naming episodes.  Shame.  It’s a nice start to the series, though, and interesting case, even if it doesn’t quite have what Series 1 had it starts the series off neatly.  8.5/10

Series 2 Episode 2: – a real mix of a plot-line with different things going on at once and a much greater focus on overreaching arcs.  I really like this one.  9/10

Series 2 Episode 3:– animal rights-y one, and it’s quite difficult because I’m trapped in the middle. I sympathise with the villain of the piece and his motives.  But… am I supposed to? I’m not sure.  It’s a personal matter to me but on the whole it’s tackled decently.  Certainly entertaining.  8.5/10

Series 2 Episode 4:– I’d actually forgotten the death in this episode so it came as as much of a shock as it did the first time.  Quite Life on Mars-like, very enjoyable and a slightly jarring (in a good way) mid-series resolution which makes way for new arcs.  There’s also Jackie Queen back (yip yip yippee) who bonds nicely with Alex, making for some very heart-warming moments.  9/10

1. Alex’s Big Day (A2A 108) 10/10

2. The End of the Line (LoM 208) 10/10

3. The Missing Link (A2A 104) 9.5/10

4. Hostage Situation (LoM 106) 9.5/10

5. A2A 204 9/10

6. Pornography Wars (LoM 108) 9/10

7. A2A 202 9/10

8. Fighting Gene (LoM 207) 9/10

9. Déjà Vu (A2A 101) 9/10

10.The Warren (LoM 104) 9/10

11.Manchester Derby Mayhem (LoM 105) 9/10

12.Aliens from the Future (LoM 202) 9/10       

13.How Times Have Changed (LoM 101) 9/10

14.Jealousy (LoM 204) 8.5/10

15.Over the Hill (A2A 106) 8.5/10

16.The Happy Day (A2A 102) 8.5/10

17.Charity Begins at Home (A2A 107) 8.5/10

18.The Smoking Gun (A2A 105) 8.5/10

19.A2A 203 8.5/10

20.A2A 201 8.5/10

21.Dangerous Drugs (LoM 206) 8.5/10

22.Prisoners (LoM 205) 8.5/10

23.Brutal Bombings (LoM 203) 8.5/10

24.Police Brutality (LoM 107) 8.5/10

25.Factory Mayhem (LoM 103) 8.5/10

26.Nothing Changes (A2A 103) 8.5/10

27.New Alliances (LoM 102) 8.5/10

28.Visions (LoM 201) 8.5/10

3 days, 15 hours ago on Conversation @


@Clara Laurinda I have seen the DVD of Shada... great serial.  Classic Douglas Adams.  Quite inventive, and the potential to be a classic.  Such a shame about industrial action.

4 days, 9 hours ago on Conversation @


@SephoraNeedSeries8 @Bollyknickers @sontaran17 @Adherent I haven't seen it.  I've only come across clips haphazardly and if I might say, crudely thrown into 'fan trailers'... so don't go jumping just yet.

4 days, 10 hours ago on Deep Breath To Be Shown in Cinemas Globally


@sontaran17 @Adherent Actually you can see it... but it's in black and white.  And watermarky.  And FX-lite.  So not really a statement of 'cinematic scope'.

4 days, 12 hours ago on Deep Breath To Be Shown in Cinemas Globally


The Genie: No, tell me what you did. 

TheAwkwardSilent: The Trolls, they have a hive site. Well, they don't, they have a sort of social network. 

The Genie: The path network, yes.

TheAwkwardSilent: I hacked into it, did a mass delete on all the information connected with the Genie. 

The Genie: You made them forget me?

TheAwkwardSilent: Good, eh? And here comes the passcode.

The Genie: I've tried hacking into the path network. Even I couldn't do it.

TheAwkwardSilent: Come and meet the guy who can. Hey, you're right outside. Come on in. 

The Genie: Silent, we have a problem. 

TheAwkwardSilent: No, we don't. Don't even say that. Joined the Alaska to see the internet, ended up stuck on here first time out. Rescue me, chin boy, and show me the fandom. 

The Genie: Does it look real to you? 

TheAwkwardSilent: Does what look real? 

The Genie: Where you are right now. Does it seem real?

TheAwkwardSilent: It is real. 

The Genie: It's a graphic, Silent. You created it for yourself because the truth was too terrible. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Where am I? Where am I? 

The Genie: Because you are a Troll.

TheAwkwardSilent: I am not a Troll. I am not a Troll! I'm a regular.

The Genie: You were a regular when you joined here. It was you who followed the link. That was your history. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? I’m… a regular. 

The Genie: Not any more. Because you're right. You're a genius. And the Trolls need genius. They didn't just make you a puppet, they did a full conversion.

TheAwkwardSilent: Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? 

The Genie: Silent, I am so sorry, but you are a Troll. The whitelist, Silent. The whitelisting to post your parodies; how, how, did you do it?

TheAwkwardSilent: De…. I'm a regular. I am not a Troll, I am a regular. I am not Troll, I am a regular!  De…

The Genie: It wasn't real. It was never real. 

TheAwkwardSilent: I am a Troll. I am a Troll. De. Act.  Tive.  Ate.

The Genie: Silent… 

TheAwkwardSilent: De-act-iv-ate.  Deactivate.

The Genie: Silent. No, no, no, Silent. Silent. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Deactivate! 

The Genie: Listen. Silent, you don't have to do this. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Deactivate!

The Genie: Silent. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Why do they hate you  so much? They hate you so much. Why? 

The Genie: I fought them many, many times. 

TheAwkwardSilent: We have grown stronger out of anger towards you. 

The Genie: I know. I tried to stop.

TheAwkwardSilent: Then log out. 

The Genie: What did you say? 

TheAwkwardSilent: I've taken down the firewall.  The Trolls above have begun their attack. Log out!

The Genie: Silent, are you-

TheAwkwardSilent: I am The Awkward Silent. I fought the Trolls and I am a regular!  Remember me.

The Genie: Thank you. 

TheAwkwardSilent: Log out!  Log out, you clever boy. And remember.

ThePoweroftheDoctor: How long can we wait? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: The rest of the night. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Agreed. 

The Genie: Right, go! Let's go. We're good. Let's go. Oh, for God's sake. 

Troll: The Asylum is destroyed.  Incoming commenter from Asylum site. We are under attack. Prepare to defend. Defend. Defend! 

Mr Fun: Explain, Troll Supreme. 

The Genie: You know, you guys should really have seen this coming. The thing about me and logging in, I've got a really good timing. Second accurate, in fact. Or, to put it another way… suckers! 

Troll: Identify yourself. Identify. Identify. 

The Genie: It's me. You know me. The Genie. The Oncoming Argument. The Predator. 

DrOswald: Titles are not meaningful in this context. Genie who? 

Mr Fun: Genie who? 

Troll: Genie who? 

The Genie: Oh, Silent. Oh, you did it to them all. You beauty. 

Troll: Genie who? Genie who? 

The Genie: Fellas, you're never going to stop asking. 

Troll: Genie who?

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Yes! Yes! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: I can see you. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Okay.

The Genie: Genie who. Genie who? Genie… Who!

4 days, 12 hours ago on Conversation @


Troll: Emergency. Emergency. Prepare to be annihilated. Emergency. We are the Trolls. We are the Trolls.

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Okay, look at me. I'm going to be logical. Cold and logical, okay? For both of our sakes, for both of us, I'm going to remove this from my folder and put it in yours. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Why? Then it'll just start converting you. That's not better. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Yes, but it'll buy us time, because it'll take longer with me. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Sorry, what? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: It subtracts positive comments, that's what he said. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: What's that got to do with it? What does that even mean? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: It's arithmetic. It'll take longer with me because we both know, we've always known, that. Amy, the basic fact of our friendship is that I’m nicer to you than you are to me, which today is good news because it might just save both of our accounts. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: How can you say that? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Two weeks, waiting for you on an empty page. Don't say it isn't true, you know it's true. Send me the link. Amy! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Don't you dare say that to me. Don't you ever dare. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Amy, you removed me! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: You want likes! You have always wanted likes. Ever since you realised you could like. And I can't give them. Whatever they did to me at Trolls Run, I can't ever give you likes. I didn't remove you. I gave you up. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Amy, I don't-

AmyPondIsAwesome: Don't you dare talk to me about waiting on an empty page, because that is nothing, Power, nothing, compared to giving you up! 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Just give me your folder. Let me put this on you. Just give me your folder! 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Don't PM me! 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: It's the Genie’s. When you were offline. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: That Limbo Lord. What's the betting he doesn't even need it. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Why didn't he just tell us? 

5 days, 3 hours ago on Conversation @


Ashes to Ashes Marathon Update (No puns allowed)

Series 1 Episode 5: The Smoking Gun 8.5/10 – an eye-opening and often hilarious episode about 80s values.

Series 1 Episode 6: Over the Hill 8.5/10 – one that I remembered quite a bit of from original viewing.  Good atmosphere, nice pace.

Series 1 Episode 7: Charity Begins at Home 8.5/10 – Quite tense and terrifying.  A refreshing tonal change.

Series 1 Episode 8: Alex’s Big Day 10/10 – Best of the lot.  Moving, shocking, brilliant.

Series 1 is my favourite of the bunch.  It’s funny and has that entertaining ‘first arrival’ setup with family subplots, but comes across as that little bit more human than Life on Mars with stronger all-round production values.

1. Alex’s Big Day (A2A 108) 10/10

2. The End of the Line (LoM 208) 10/10

3. The Missing Link (A2A 104) 9.5/10

4. Hostage Situation (LoM 106) 9.5/10

5. Pornography Wars (LoM 108) 9.5/10

6. Fighting Gene (LoM 207) 9/10

7. Déjà Vu (A2A 101) 9/10

8. The Warren (LoM 104) 9/10

9. Manchester Derby Mayhem (LoM 105) 9/10

10. Aliens from the Future (LoM 202) 9/10       

11.How Times Have Changed (LoM 101) 9/10

12.Jealousy (LoM 204) 8.5/10

13.Over the Hill (A2A 106) 8.5/10

14.The Happy Day (A2A 102) 8.5/10

15.Charity Begins at Home (A2A 107) 8.5/10

16.The Smoking Gun (A2A 105) 8.5/10

17.Dangerous Drugs (LoM 206) 8.5/10

18.Prisoners (LoM 205) 8.5/10

19.Brutal Bombings (LoM 203) 8.5/10

20.Police Brutality (LoM 107) 8.5/10

21.Factory Mayhem (LoM 103) 8.5/10

22.Nothing Changes (A2A 103) 8.5/10

23.New Alliances (LoM 102) 8.5/10

24.Visions (LoM 201) 8.5/10

5 days, 3 hours ago on Conversation @


@TARDlSkey @SkyFaller™ @doctorwhotvuk Or SJA.  He needs to get a move on.  Start with Life on Mars, work forward...

5 days, 4 hours ago on Conversation @


@Ladydetemps 8.5/10.  Decent setup; brilliant execution, nice moral/ethical themes and classic Whithouse thematics.  Ooh... that sounded all posh.

5 days, 11 hours ago on Conversation @


@The Finn You know the worst thing?


5 days, 12 hours ago on Conversation @


The Sarah Jane Adventures episode rankings.

1. Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith 10/10

2. Whatever Happened To Sarah Jane? 10/10

3. The Mad Woman in the Attic 10/10

4. The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith 9.5/10

5. The Death of the Doctor 9.5/10

6. The Curse of Clyde Langer 9.5/10

7. The Nightmare Man 9/10

8. The Man Who Never Was 9/10

9. Lost in Time 9/10

10. The Gift 9/10

11. Eye of the Gorgon 9/10

12. The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith 9/10

13. The Vault of Secrets 9/10

14. Enemy of the Bane 8.5/10

15. Prisoner of the Judoon 8.5/10

16. The Last Sontaran 8.5/10

17. The Lost Boy 8.5/10

18. Invasion of the Bane 8/10

19. Day of the Clown 8/10

20. Sky 8/10

21. The Empty Planet 8/10

22. Mark of the Beserker 8/10

23. Secrets of the Stars 8/10

24. The Mona Lisa’s Revenge 8/10

25. The Eternity Trap 8/10

26. Warriors of the Kudlak 8/10

27. Revenge of the Slitheen 7/10

5 days, 15 hours ago on Conversation @


I'd like to see some proper conflict between Doctor/companion this year.

Not just the classic post-regenerative bickering, but proper, genuine tension... a tangible sense of disagreement, and a change in their relationship that opens up dangerous new roads and places the Doctor, Clara and others in peril.

After all, it's a new man.  You're not guaranteed to like him, and maybe the change will be that be too much for our companion...

6 days, 7 hours ago on Conversation @


 ThatAwkwardSilentSo, anyway, I'm The Awkward Silent. What do I call you? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorEr, I can't remember. Er, Simon.

ThatAwkwardSilentLovely name, Simon. First boy I ever fancied was called Simon. 


ThatAwkwardSilentActually, she was called Nina. I was in denial. Just flirting to keep you cheerful. 

TrollsDeactivate! Deactivate! 

ThePoweroftheDoctorEr, okay, any time you want to start flirting again is fine by me.

ThatAwkwardSilentHey there, Welsh boy. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorIf it's a straight choice, I prefer Nina. 

ThatAwkwardSilentLoving this. The sheep and the bollinger. You two could start a band. There's a link below you. On there, quickly. Okay, you're safe for now. Link me your Facebook pictures, quick as you like. 


ThatAwkwardSilentDoes there have to be a reason?

The GenieWhy hasn't the iCloud converted you? 

ThatAwkwardSilentI mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.

The GenieClever of you. Now, this place. The Trolls said it was fully automated. Look at it. It's a wreck.

ThatAwkwardSilentWell, I've had nearly a year to mess with them, and not a lot else to do. 

The GenieA junior fan-fic writer hiding out in a wrecked page, hacking the security systems of the most advanced trollsthe internet has ever seen. But you know what really gets me about you, Silent? The Disney songs. How did you get whitelisted to post the lyrics? Seriously. Is no one else wondering about that? 

ThePoweroftheDoctorNo. Frankly, no. Twice

ThatAwkwardSilentSo, Genie. I've been looking you up. You're all over the database. Why do the Trolls call you the Predator? 

The GenieI'm not the Predator, I'm just a man with a plan. 

TheAwkwardSilentYou've got a plan?

ThePoweroftheDoctorThat's all he is. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeThere's a Welsh joke going if someone wants to pick that one off. 

The GenieIn no particular order, we need to neutralise all the Trolls in this Asylum, rescue Silent from the wreckage, escape from this site and fix Amy and Power's friendship. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeOkay, I'm counting three lost causes. Anyone else? 

The GenieSilent, there's a Troll forum near. 

ThatAwkwardSilentYes. Got it on the sensors 

The GenieThe Asylum has a firewall. The Trolls upstairs are waiting for me to turn it off. Soon as I do, they'll delete this whole site and us with it. So, Silent, my question is this. How fast can you drop the firewall? 

ThatAwkwardSilentPretty fast. But why would I? 

The GenieBecause this is a link. Am I right, Silent? 

ThatAwkwardSilentYeah. Internal use only.

The GenieI can boost the power. Once the firewall is down, I can use it to beam us right off this site. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorYou said when the firewall is down, the Trolls will delete us. 

The GenieWe'll have to be quick, yes. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeFine, we'll be quick. But where do we link to? 

The GenieThe only place within range. The Troll forum. 

AmyPondIsAwesomeThey'll ban us on the spot. 

ThePoweroftheDoctorAh, so this is the kind of escape plan where you survive about four seconds longer. 

6 days, 8 hours ago on Conversation @



Bad Request

Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.

Apache/2.2.3 (CentOS) Server at cultfix(.)co(.)uk Port 80

6 days, 8 hours ago on Conversation @


Fiveish Doctors... deleted scenes... prom... ADVENURE IN BLU-RAY.

B*ggery.  I'll be a penniless victim of BBC promotion before I'm in full-time work...

6 days, 8 hours ago on Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Collection DVD & Blu-ray


ThePoweroftheDoctor: What's he doing? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: He's chosen the most secure area on the forum, counted all the Trolls, counted all the links, and now he's calculating the exact time we're commenting apart and starting to worry. Oh, and look at him frowning now.  Something's wrong with Amy and Power, and who's going to fix it? And he refreshes his page. 

Mr Fun: We have arrived. 

The Genie: Arrived where? 

Mr Fun: Genie. 

DrOswald: The Moderator will speak with you now. 

The Genie: Do you remember who you were before they emptied you out and turned you into their puppet? 

DrOswald: My user is only allowed on if they are required to facilitate cover or disguise. 

The Genie: You had a friend. 

DrOswald: I know. I've read my file. 

The Genie: Well? 

Mr Fun: What do you know of the Troll Asylum? 

The Genie: According to rumour, you have a dumping ground. A site where you send all the Trolls that go wrong. The argument-scarred, the insane, the ones even you can't control. It's never made any sense to me. 

Mr Fun: Why not? 

The Genie: Because you'd just ban them. 

Mr Fun: It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine irritation. 

The Genie: Offensive? 

Mr Fun: Does it surprise you to know the Trolls have a concept of beauty? 

The Genie: I thought you'd run out of ways to make me sick. Hello again. You think irritation is beautiful. 

Mr Fun: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to ban you. 

DrOswald: The Asylum. It occupies the entire site, right to the core. 

The Genie: How many Trolls are in there? 

DrOswald: A count has not been made. Dozens, certainly. 

The Genie: All still online? 

DrOswald: It has to be assumed. The Asylum is fully automated. Supervision is not required. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Hostile? 

DrOswald: The Trolls are always hostile. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: What font? I'm sorry, there weren't any good questions left. 

DrOswald: This signal is being received from the very heart of the Asylum. 

Troll: What is the noise? Explain. Explain. 

The Genie: Er, it's me. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Sorry, what? 

The Genie: It's me, playing the piano. Okay, I got buried in the mix. Frozen. Lovely show. Someone's transmitting this. Have you considered tracking back the signal and talking to them? He asked the Trolls. Hello? Hello? FrozenHello?

ThatAwkwardSilent: Hello? 

The Genie: Come in. Come in. Come in, Frozen.

ThatAwkwardSilent: Hello! Yes, yes, sorry. Do you read me?

The Genie: Yes, reading you loud and clear. Identify yourself and report your status. 

ThatAwkwardSilent: Hello. Are you real? Are you actually, properly, real?

The Genie: Yes, confirmed. Actually, properly, real. 

ThatAwkwardSilent: The Awkward Silent, junior fan-fic writer, Disney forum. Current status, crashed and stuck somewhere not nice. Been here a year, rest of the community missing. Discussion’s good but keen to move on.

The Genie: A year? Are you okay? Are you under attack? 

ThatAwkwardSilent: Some local commenters. Been keeping them out. 

The Genie: Do you know what those commenters are? 

ThatAwkwardSilent: I know a Troll when I see one, yeah.

The Genie: What have you been doing on your own against the Trolls for a year?

ThatAwkwardSilent: Posting Disney lyrics?

The Genie: Disney? Against the Trolls? How’d you get whitelisted? 

Troll: This conversation is irrelevant. 

The Genie: No, it isn't.

ThatAwkwardSilent: No! Hello? Hello?

The Genie: Because a forum has crashed into your Asylum, and someone's got in. And if someone can get in, then everything can get out. A tsunami of insane Trolls. Even you don't want that. 

Troll: The Asylum must be cleansed. 

The Genie: Then why is it still here? You've enough moderation on this server to blast it out of the internet. 

DrOswald: The Asylum firewall is impenetrable. 

The Genie: Turn it off. 

DrOswald: It can only be turned off from within the Asylum. 

The Genie: A small taskforce could sneak through a firewall. Send in a couple of Trolls. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's good. That's brilliant. You're all too scared to go down there. Not one of you will go, so tell me, what do the Trolls do when they're too scared? 

Troll: The Predator of the Trolls will be deployed. 

The Genie: You don't have a Predator, and even if you did, why would they turn off a firewall for you? 

Mr Fun: Because you will have no other means of escape. 

6 days, 8 hours ago on Conversation @


DrOswald: First, there were the Trolls. And then, there was a commenter who moderated them. And then, in time, he left. There are a few, of course, who believe this commenter somehow survived, and that one day he will return. For both our sakes, dearest Hannah, we must hope these stories are true. 

The Genie: I got your message. Not many people can do that. Send me messages. 

DrOswald: I have a friend, Hannah. She's in a Troll moderation area. They say you can help. 

The Genie: Do they? I wish they'd stop. I love your choice of meeting place. 

DrOswald: They said I'd have to intrigue you. 

The Genie: TheHordeofTravesties. The original site of the Trolls. Look at the state of it. Who told you about me? 

DrOswald: Does it matter? 

The Genie: Maybe not, but you're very well informed. If Hannah's in a Troll moderation area, tell me, why aren't you? 

DrOswald: I escaped. 

The Genie: No. Nobody escapes the Troll areas. You're typing very slowly. 

DrOswald: What's wrong? 

The Genie: It's a trap. 

DrOswald: What is? 

The Genie: You are, and you don't even know it. 

Troll: The Genie is acquired!

AmyPondIsAwesome: I'll just be a minute. 

Moderator: Your friend is here. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Hmm. I don't have a friend. 

Moderator: Oh, well, apparently you still do.

ThePoweroftheDoctor: You have to click this. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: And then you’re removed from my friend list? 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Just like magic. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Can't chat. Watching Doctor Who. 

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Really? Thought you were just staring at Karen Gillan’s... 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Power? 

Finn: Sorry, love. Was I interrupting? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: No. 

Finn: Gosh, look at you. You seem so miserable. Come on, let’s talk. We'll soon sort that out. 

Troll: AmyPondIsAwesome is acquired!

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Cheers. 

Troll: ThePoweroftheDoctor is acquired!

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Where are we? So how much trouble are we in? 

The Genie: How much trouble, Mister Power?  Out of ten? Twelve.

AmyPondIsAwesome: Where are we? A forum, right? 

The Genie: Not just any forum. The Forum of the Trolls. Be brave. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: What do we do? 

The Genie: Make them remember you. Well, come on then. You've got me. What are you waiting for? At long last, it's Christmas! Here I am. 

Mr Fun: Save us. You will save us. 

The Genie: I'll what? 

Trolls: You will save the Trolls. Save the Trolls! Save the Trolls! Save the Trolls! Save the Trolls!

The Genie: Well. 

Trolls: Save the Trolls! 

The Genie: This is new.

1 week ago on Conversation @


AmyPondIsAwesome: Heard there was a freak spam attack an hour ago, so I got us a private room. 

TardisBoy: Thank you, dear. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: So where are we? 

TardisBoy: I just logged out of the Byzantium. You were there. So young. Didn't have a clue who I was. You're funny like that. Where are you? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: The Genie’s gone. 

TardisBoy: How are you doing? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: How do you think? 

TardisBoy: Well, I don't know unless you tell me. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: I banned someone. Madame Vastra, in cold blood. 

TardisBoy: In an aborted thread, in a site that never was. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Yeah, but I can remember it, so it happened, so I did it. What does that make me now? I need to talk to the Genie, but I can't now, can I? 

TardisBoy: If you could talk to him, would it make a difference? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: But he's gone, so, so I can't. 

TardisBoy: Oh, Awesome, of course he isn't. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Not for you, I suppose. You're seeing the younger versions of him running around, having adventures. 

TardisBoy: Yeah, I am. But that's not what I mean. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Then what do you mean? 

TardisBoy: Okay. I'm going to tell you what I probably shouldn't. The Genie’s last secret. Don't you want to know what he PM’d me? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: He PM’d his real name. 

TardisBoy: Not his name, no. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Yes, it was. He said it was. 

TardisBoy: Rule One? 

AmyPondIsAwesome: The Genie lies. 

TardisBoy: So do I, all the time. Have to. Spoilers. Pretending I don't know you're my friend, pretending I don't recognise the anon on the article… 

AmyPondIsAwesome: What did he message you? 

TardisBoy: Oh, that commenter. He's always one step ahead of everyone. Always a plan. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: TardisBoy, what did he tell you? TardisBoy. 

TheIdleIdol: Who's here with me? I demand to know. I'm an avatar, I have rights. I want my thread open this time. I demand that my thread is open. 

TheIdleIdol: Is it you? It is, isn't it. It is you, I can sense it. But how did you do it? How could you possibly have escaped?

The Genie: The Questor. A Genie in a Genie avatar. Time said I had to be on that page, so I dressed for the occasion. Barely lost connection on that tribute page. 

TheIdleIdol: So you're going to do this? Let them all think you left? 

The Genie: It's the only way, then they can all forget me. I got too big, Idol. Too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows. 

TheIdleIdol: And Doctor Rahaman, on moderation all his days? 

The Genie: His days, yes. His nights? Well, that's between him and me, eh? 

TheIdleIdol: So many secrets, Genie. I'll help you keep them, of course. 

The Genie: Well, you're not exactly going anywhere, are you? 

TheIdleIdol: But you're a fool nonetheless. It's all still waiting for you. The fields of Limbolore, the fall of the Sixth, and the question. 

The Genie: Goodbye, Idol. 

TheIdleIdol: The first question. The question that must never be answered, hidden in plain sight. The question you've been running from all your life. Genie who? Genie who? Genie… WHO!

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


Silence: ThePoweroftheDoctor, the commenter who leaves and leaves again. Leave one last time and know he will never come back for you. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: Come on, you. Up you get. You all right? 

Madame Vastra: Amy, help me. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: You took my friend from me and upset him. And now he's all grown up and he's fine, but I'll never see my TardisGirl again. 

Madame Vastra: But you'll still save me, though. Because he would, and you'd never do anything to disappoint your p-p-precious Genie.

ThePoweroftheDoctor: Sir, we have to go, now. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: The Genie is very precious to me, you're right. But do you know what else he is, Madame Vastra? Not here.  TardisBoy didn't get it all from you, sweetie. 

*Madame Vastra is banned*

The Genie: What's this? Oh, it's a commenty-wommenty distress beacon. Who built this? 

TardisBoy: I'm the child of the Chat. I understand the platform. 

The Genie: But that's all you've got, a distress beacon. 

TardisBoy: I've been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our site, the internet is still turning, and I've sent a message everywhere. To the forums and the static pages, the beginning and the end of everything. The Genie is leaving. Please, please help. 

The Genie: TardisBoy! TardisBoy, this is ridiculous. That would mean nothing to anyone. It's insane. Worse, it's stupid. You embarrass me. 

AmyPondIsAwesome: We locked the page. We've got a few minutes. Just tell him. Just tell him, TardisBoy. 

TardisBoy: Those reports of the server errors and the bugs. They're wrong. There aren't any. It's not the site, it's you. The banner is full of a million, million messages saying yes, of course we'll help. You've touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came, you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the internet is better off without you, but the internet doesn't agree. 

The Genie: TardisBoy, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Livefyre is being deleted

TardisBoy: I can't let you leave. 

The Genie: But I have to leave. 

TardisBoy: Shut up! I can't let you leave without knowing you are loved.  By so many, and so much, and by no one more than me. 

The Genie: TardisBoy, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf the entire internet. Millions on millions will suffer and leave. 

TardisBoy: I'll suffer if I have to ban you. 

The Genie: More than every living person on the internet? 

TardisBoy: Yes

The Genie: TardisBoy, TardisBoy, why do you have to be this? Samuel Rahaman, your friend. I hope you're both proud.  Amy, whitelist me now. Okay, stay quiet a minute. 

TardisBoy: What am I doing? 

The Genie: As you're told. Now, we're in the middle of an argument, so we'll have to do the quick version. I'm about to PM you something, and you have to remember it very, very carefully, and tell no one what I said.  I just told you my name. Now, there you go, TardisBoy. Samuel Rahaman. You're the commenter who added me. And friend, I have a request. This site is dying and it's my fault, and I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way. 

TardisBoy: Then you may like my comment. 

The Genie: I'll make it a good one. 

TardisBoy: You'd better. 

The Genie: And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. 

Tick tock goes the clock, he gave away all his joy. Tick tock goes the clock, now moderation waits for TardisBoy.

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


@Esterath I agree, actually...

It's always fine to criticise the other era, but it seems to be a case of stirring porridge where there's only soup (a saying I've just made up... quite proud of it to be honest).

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


This thing was uploaded about four weeks ago but somehow I missed it...

It's a piece of music from the frustratingly never released Torchwood: Miracle Day, but it's so epic... one of Murray's most breath-taking compositions.  Give it a look.

https: //

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


The Genie: Hi, honey. I'm home.

TardisBoy: And what sort of time do you call this?

Madame Vastra: The death of time. The end of time. The end of us all. Oh, why couldn't you just leave? 

The Genie: Did my best, dear. I showed up. You just can't get the psychopaths these days. Love what you've done with the forums. How did you score all this?

TardisBoy: Hallucinogenic coding. Works wonders on Steven Moffat. And Jonathan Morris was a real pushover.

The Genie: I always thought so.

TardisBoy: He mentioned you.

The Genie: What did she say?

TardisBoy: You can stop touching me now.

The Genie: Did you?

TardisBoy: Eventually.

Madame Vastra: Oh, the flirting. Do I have to watch this?

TardisBoy: It was such a basic mistake, wasn't it, Madame Vastra. Take a child, raise him into a perfect psychopath, introduce him to the Genie. Who else was I going to fall in love with?

The Genie: It's not funny, TardisBoy. Livefyre is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that.

TardisBoy: Dinner?

The Genie: I don't have the broadband capacity. Nobody has the capacity, because as long I'm online, the internet is dying. Because of you, TardisBoy.

TardisBoy: Because I refused to ban the commenter I love.

The Genie: Oh, you love me, do you? Oh, that's sweet of you. Isn't that sweet. Come here, you.

AmyPondIsAwesome: Get him!

TardisBoy: I'm not a fool, sweetie. I know what happens if we like each others’ comments. Get off me. Get him off me! Genie, no. Let go! Please Genie, let go!

Moderator: It's moving. The thread’s moving!

TardisBoy: Get him off me! Genie!

The Genie: I'm sorry, TardisBoy. It's the only way.

TardisBoy: Moderate him.

The Genie: Oh, why do you always have moderation? It's the only way. We're the opposite poles of the disruption. If we communicate, we short out the differential. The thread can begin again.

TardisBoy: And I'll be by an article banning you.

The Genie: And Livefyre won't fall apart. The feed will update. The internet will continue. There isn't another way.

TardisBoy: I didn't say there was, sweetie. There are so many theories about you and I, you know.

The Genie: Idle gossip.

TardisBoy: Archiving.

The Genie: Same thing.

TardisBoy: Am I the commenter who goes out with you, or the commenter who bans you?

The Genie: I don't want to date you.

TardisBoy: I don't want to ban you.

The Genie: This is no fun at all.

TardisBoy: It isn't, is it?

AmyPondIsAwesome: Genie, what's that?

The Genie: The forum above us. How many Silence do you have trapped inside it?

Madame Vastra: None. They're not trapped. They never have been. They've been waiting for this, Genie. For you.

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


The Questor: Genie, whatever you think of the Questor, we are champions of law and order just as you have always been. Is there nothing else we can do?

GoodYear92: Why would you do this?  Of all the things you've told me, this I find hardest to believe. Why would you invite your friends to see you leave?

The Genie: I had to leave. I didn't have to leave alone. Amy and Power. The last Count and the commenter who waited. However dark it got, I'd turn around, and there they'd be. If it's time to go, remember what you're leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me. 

GoodYear92: And did you tell them this was going to happen? 

The Genie: It would help if you didn't keep asking questions. We don't have much time.

GoodYear92: And this guy you spoke of. Did you invite him? 

The Genie: Yes, he was there. TardisBoy came twice. Everything was in place. I only had to do one more thing. I only had to leave. 

The Genie: Well, then. Here we are at last. 

TardisBoy: I can't stop it. The program’s in control. 

The Genie: You're not supposed to. This has to happen. 

TardisBoy: Run. 

The Genie: I did run. Running brought me here. 

TardisBoy: I'm trying to fight it, but I can't. It's too strong. 

The Genie: I know. It's okay. This is where I leave. This is a fixed point. This must happen. This always happens. Don't worry. You won't even be able to save this. Look over there. 

TardisBoy: That's me. How can I be there? 

The Genie: That's you from the main site, on moderation for a banning you probably can't access. My banning. 

TardisBoy: Why would you do that? Make me watch? 

The Genie: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. 

TardisBoy: Please, my love, please, please just run! 

The Genie: I can't. 

TardisBoy: Comments can be rewritten. 

The Genie: Don't you dare. Goodbye, TardisBoy. 

TardisBoy: Hello, Sweetie. 

The Genie: What have you done? 

TardisBoy: Well, I think I just drained my moderation systems. 

The Genie: But this is fixed. This is a fixed point in Livefyre. 

TardisBoy: Fixed points can be rewritten. 

The Genie: No, they can't. Of course they can't. Who told you tha-?

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


@TARDlSkey I see the likes of Chris as more of a 'dweek'... the 'insanely retentive, anally analytical' type.  But not as a general, widely-used term for Who fans.

1 week, 1 day ago on Conversation @


Ashes to Ashes Marathon Update (No puns allowed)

Series 1 Episode 1: Deja Vu 9/10 – a hilarious, thrilling and engaging start

Series 1 Episode 2: The Happy Day 8.5/10 - a feel-good cultural episode, which is always important within the franchise

Series 1 Episode 3: Nothing Changes 8.5/10 – good but not excellent.  Thought-provoking but not superlative

Series 1 Episode 4: The Missing Link 9.5/10 – a brilliant, well-paced and surprisingly touching instalment with some impressive production values

1.The End of the Line (LoM 208) 10/10

2. The Missing Link (A2A 104) 9.5/10

3. Hostage Situation (LoM 106) 9.5/10

4. Pornography Wars (LoM 108) 9.5/10

5. Fighting Gene (LoM 207) 9/10

6. Déjà Vu (A2A 101) 9/10

7. The Warren (LoM 104) 9/10

8. Manchester Derby Mayhem (LoM 105) 9/10

9. Aliens from the Future (LoM 202) 9/10       

10.How Times Have Changed (LoM 101) 9/10

11.Jealousy (LoM 204) 8.5/10

12.The Happy Day (A2A 102) 8.5/10

13.Dangerous Drugs (LoM 206) 8.5/10

14.Prisoners (LoM 205) 8.5/10

15.Brutal Bombings (LoM 203) 8.5/10

16.Police Brutality (LoM 107) 8.5/10

17.Factory Mayhem (LoM 103) 8.5/10

18.Nothing Changes (A2A 103) 8.5/10

19.New Alliances (LoM 102) 8.5/10

20.Visions (LoM 201) 8.5/10

1 week, 2 days ago on Conversation @


@TardisBoy Love it too.  Coldplay are legends.

1 week, 2 days ago on Conversation @


A Final Primevathon Update


1. Series 3 Episode 5 9.5/10

2. Series 3 Episode 3 9.5/10

3. Series 2 Episode 7 9.5/10

4. Series 1 Episode 6 9.5/10

5. Series 5 Episode 6 9/10

6. Series 5 Episode 2 9/10

7. Series 3 Episode 7 9/10

8. Series 2 Episode 6 9/10

9. Series 1 Episode 3 9/10

10.Series 5 Episode 1 9/10

11.Series 3 Episode 10 8.5/10

12.Series 3 Episode 4 8.5/10

13.Series 3 Episode 2 8.5/10

14.Series 1 Episode 4 8.5/10

15.Series 2 Episode 1 8.5/10

16.Series 2 Episode 3 8.5/10

17.Series 5 Episode 5 8.5/10

18.Series 5 Episode 3 8.5/10

19.Series 5 Episode 4 8.5/10

20.Series 3 Episode 9 8.5/10

21.Series 3 Episode 1 8.5/10

22.Series 2 Episode 2 8.5/10

23.Series 4 Episode 4 8.5/10

24.Series 3 Episode 8 8.5/10

25.Series 1 Episode 5 8.5/10

26.Series 1 Episode 2 8.5/10

27.Series 3 Episode 6 8.5/10

28.Series 2 Episode 4 8.5/10

29.Series 1 Episode 1 8.5/10

30.Series 4 Episode 6 8/10

31.Series 4 Episode 5 8/10

32.Series 4 Episode 1 8/10

33.Series 2 Episode 5 8/10

34.Series 4 Episode 7 8/10

35.Series 4 Episode 3 8/10

36.Series 4 Episode 2 7.5/10


1. Jenny Lewis

2. Helen Cutter

3. Nick Cutter

4. Abby Maitland

5. James Lester


1. Future Predator

2. Smilodon

3. Terror Bird

4. Anurognathus

5. Megopteran


1. Series 3 9/10

2. Series 2 8.5/10

3. Series 1 8.5/10

4. Series 5 8.5/10

5. Series 4 6.5/10 

1 week, 2 days ago on Conversation @