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@Lady Cheetah @FriendsofJay @jazzyfae45 

Yes! I think a big part of this is that black women don't truly realize how dysfunctional the black community is....They haven't been in non dysfunctional and/or non black environments enough to know......Well, I think most realize deep down that they are not living in an ideal situation, but it's so normalized that they just stick to the script because they don't think they have other options...To many, living a comfortable, functional life is "for white people" or it takes too much extra work. 



2 weeks, 2 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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You can tell he really appreciates and cherishes her too...that kiss on the hand...and that hug at the end!! So sweet!

 Also, I LOVE her dress...and his suspenders.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: BB&W Fan Get Married, Serenades Groom; Bring Him to Tears

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So sweet! Beautiful couple, voice, and venue. I sing too (play a little guitar and keyboard) so I'd consider doing something like this (but I'd probably be way more nervous than her)...Well, maybe he can do it to me if he's also musically inclined....Heck, we can just do a duet (Is that too corny? lol). Either way, it would be amazing if his proposal, or our wedding reception involved singing or playing music :-)

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: BB&W Fan Get Married, Serenades Groom; Bring Him to Tears

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@Nikki J I love getting a "tan" in the summer..  It annoys me when other black people act so scared of getting darker. While they're hiding from the sun, I'm soaking it up!

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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@_Toni_ " dark-skinned women should be allowed to speak their truths without having their conversation hijacked by people with ulterior motives"

This frustrates me so much. When dark skinned women try to speak out, they are often labeled as bitter or jealous. If not, they are ignored, gaslighted, or the conversation is derailed. For some reason, I was having this conversation with my mother and my sister, who are both considered "light skinned". My mother was making it all about her and how she had it so hard because dark skinned women used to beat her up in school. I guess you can say she is mixed (well really multiethnic..she had a black mother and Puertorican father). Not that bullying is ok, because it's not AT ALL (plus I am dark skinned and I got picked on by aggressive "hood chicks")  but there are reasons behind why those women felt the way they did...plus, the conversation was not about light skinned women. While I understand there are two sides to every story, she refused to acknowledge why these things were an issue in the first place. She even asked if that was why her & I didn't get along when I was a teenager (well, I'm 24...we still really don't get along). No, that's not why, sometimes it's just the individual... but the fake superiority complex (which is really a cover up for self hate) does bother me. My mom is the type who assumes people are hating on her because she has light skin and long hair. *eye roll* and that is not always the case. It is mostly self hating black men who have led light skinned black women to believe that.


My sister mostly downplayed it (she doesn't experience it..she's lighter and dates dbr black men who are borderline bums, so of course she won't speak out against it). They were totally not with me when I said that I feel like the majority of black Americans are self hating and I called out various behaviors as examples. Not that I'm better, but I'm way more socially conscious and aware of the dysfunction in the black community (as a result of personal experience, education, and the fact that I've been exposed to more non dysfunctional and non black environments). That conversation was so frustrating for me, because people refuse to take dark skinned black women seriously when it comes to these issues. 

Black men are not a big part of my life (a few family members and bm acquaintances is pretty much it....I don't knock the non dbr ones though), but the issue still bothers me because it affects so many young black girls in general and it will continue to until bw refuse to be around that type of dysfunction. It's frustrating trying to converse with those with a "blackistan" mind set (whether they live in blackistan or the burbs), I have to put up with this slavery, "house slave vs. field slave" mentality. When will it end?

 This is something I feel strongly about, and if it is within my control, I REFUSE to have any future children around this type of bs. Most likely they will be biracial, and I'm not putting up with the colorist crap. They will be beautiful and awesome because they are beautiful and awesome, not because they're lighter skinned. I will not make any of their black cousins, classmates, or friends feel as low they are below them. I would like our home to be welcoming, accepting, and loving place for people of all shades. I also want my dark skinned nieces to feel just as awesome, because they are gorgeous and amazing.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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@inori @Soul_Incites "i cannot continue to pay her emotionally for being born because that was her decision not mine . i am fortunate that  we live very far apart because 2 days is the maximum before  the little digs masquerading as concern start, the i start thinking of pushing her over a cliff."

EXACTLY. I'm so tired of my mothers treating their children like a burden for just being alive. I love life, but I did NOT ask to be born. Stop complaining about doing things that parents are supposed to do! Also, I can relate to the 2nd part too. I'm moving 19 hours away from my mother and I'm excited about that. I can only be around my mom for a couple of days before things go sour too (most times, it doesn't even take that long, she usually says something slightly offensive within a couple of hours). I'm starting to wonder if I should even come back for the holidays because I'm starting to not be able to stand her (then again, I want to see my dad and siblings at least occasionally). My mother is an expert at concern trolling too...it's really just her way to take digs at me or get in my business while still coming off as "concerned" or "well meaning". It's all a bunch of bs and I'm glad I finally caught on to her game.


" Being happy and fulfilled needs a degree of selfishness that most women do not have .In addition most have been raised to see being liked /loved rather than being empowered as the most important thing"

Sad but true!!! :-( I grew up being a people pleaser, but now, when I am looking out for myself, stand up for myself, or try to have emotional boundaries, I am told that I am selfish or overreacting.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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How timely and relevant. This is a subject that is weighing on my mind heavily. It's upsetting that so many women have issues with the person who is supposed to be in your corner the most. I have been thinking lately about going low(er) contact with my mom and setting boundaries. My mom is not a single mother and not exactly a mammy, but I have enough dysfunctional, manipulative, gaslighting, narcissistic mom stories to last a life time. I try hard to correct these behaviors when I see them in myself. Since I'm late to the party, I'll share on the next related thread. Also, check out the website "Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" if you think your mother has narcissistic tendencies. It's sad how much I can relate to the experiences described there.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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@Shelbie Hey Shelbie!!! I'm Shelbi :-D

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@bellechose "and for the love of GOD enough of the Plan A plan B talk. you dont get a cookie for having liked wm all along or for being open to dating men of all races"

Even though I have participated in these talks, I get where you're coming from. I've stated that though I have always liked white men, there was a while when I wasn't really focused on them, and I didn't start dating them til a few years ago (I mean I'm only 24 but still.)...I don't down other women who previously were not into white men. My issue is when bw date wm while being wayyy too emotionally invested in black men, or while knowing deep down, they'd prefer to be with a black man. That is what I see as a true "Plan B", and that's not fair to anyone...

1 month, 1 week ago on (Bonus) QOTW: Black Women, Multiple Children, and Interracial Dating.

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@bellechose @Swirlgirl28 true! To each their own. I think that's what helped my hair grow at first..I mean I partially wore the braids and wigs (mostly non afro textured) because I wasn't comfortable wearing my hair out yet but it also helped me transition..

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@WorldTravelingChic @MySmile @sparel @sunflowerraven 

It's not the same as those traumatizing events you experienced lol...no pain involved..The guys who have done it to me have been very gentle and don't run their fingers all the way through... 

I find it hilarious when people sniff my hair or me in general....I've been told I smell like flowers, suntan lotion, and all kinds of stuff haha... I've also had guys lay on my hair because it feels like a pillow lol..and one guy even tried to do a twist for me lol...


Sometimes I will let people "pat" my fro in public if I know them and/or they at least ask politely...I mean, I've done it to white girls and white guys I know lol..especially if they have curly hair or a unique hairstyle...They have to be gentle  and respectful though..again, don't mess up the shape of my fro in public lol....and don't just stick your hands in my hair without asking..especially if we aren't close...

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@sparel @sunflowerraven

I find it very sensual when guys try to run their hands through my hair (even though they can't get their hands all the way through lol!) or they kind of massage my scalp...I LOVE that...as long as we're alone and not about to go anywhere...Do not mess up the shape of my fro in public lol

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@thecrazyartist 

" I am bed, bath and beyond done with this sort of fuckery."

LOL!! Funniest thing I've heard today! :-D I agree...

1 month, 1 week ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER

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@Swirlgirl28 Short hair can be a challenge... The best thing I can say is make use of accessories..headbands, flowers, earrings, etc....You don't even have to do much styling...That's what I do and my fro isn't even that short anymore (I guess you could say it's medium length? or somewhere close)...I twist my hair at night so it's manageable in the morning, but I'm really simple when it comes to styles..it's either the fro, twisted and pinned down, or a high ponytail...If your hair is really short, though, you should be able to do wash and gos.

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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It really just depends on who you are, but for me, yes, to a degree.  I have been natural for about four years, but have only been wearing my hair out consistently for about two (before that I wore wigs a lot). Growing up, my mother relaxed our hair. We didn't really have a choice. It was just what you did!


My friend and I were sitting by the pool and an African guy walked up and complimented me on my hair. We got into a really good conversation and he asked if anything changed since I started wearing my hair natural. I told him it has made my confidence and pride in myself (and my blackness) soar.  It has also changed the people I surround myself with, to a degree...because a lot of the times, having natural hair means you need to seek out and attract individuals who are supportive and positive. Basically, it made me a lot more selective about my friends. A lot of my friends happen to be white and they love my hair..I know there are white people who are uncomfortable with my blackness, but I don't surround myself with those people anymore. I have also made friends with other bw who either have natural hair or who don't, but have the mindset of "to each their own". I date white men, and they think it's so cool and unique. There has been nothing but positive reinforcement from white guys, when it comes to my hair, and it makes me feel lovely. The white men who don't like it probably just don't say anything (though I have never been involved with a white guy who disliked my hair..I think one was kind of indifferent about it though). If they held a negative opinion of afro textured hair, that would be a dealbreaker for me.


Being natural helps me to feel beautiful, like an exotic, rare flower...My hair has life and body..I feel so far removed from the slavery mindset that a lot of black people have about hair. Sometimes it still boggles my mind when another black person implies something negative about my hair (even people in my own family)...but they know I'm not changing it for anyone. This is who I am. I feel like other people's issues with my hair are just that..THEIR issues. It has helped me grow tremendously. I didn't even realize all these things at the time, but I do now.


I can safely say I will never relax my hair again. I won't say never to braids (I love braids!), or wigs on rare occasions, but when I wore the wigs and weaves, I felt like I was hiding a part of myself. One time I started wearing wigs for a little while, after already wearing my hair out. When people gave me compliments, it didn't feel genuine....more like a backhanded compliment because I would notice how some of those people would never compliment me when I wore my afro out.


It may not be that deep for some people, and that's fine, but for me, it is. (Plus, I write poetry and songs, so that's my excuse for being so wordy). Being natural has changed my life, in a way.

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@itsgoodtobeme  "I'm not a "natural hair nazi" when it comes to anyone else, but I am one when it comes to my own self."

Same here!

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?

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@torgodog yay more Angelique Noire!!!! :-D Lovin it!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@Lady A @MySmile @The Working Home Keeper @Brenda55 Awww :-D Thank you all! I really appreciate it. I'm trying to get back on track with my workouts so I can be a real head turner then! haha

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@jjelsewear You are not weird at all! I love the pinup look. It is very sexy yet ladylike. It makes me feel beautiful and unique. I would actually love to get into pinup modeling (at least as a side gig) and would like to do a pinup shoot in the near future..If nothing else, I will have checked something off of my bucket list and I'll have some great photos as a memento!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@DWB Haha that's good to hear. Men seem to love this type of style..can't blame them

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@The Working Home Keeper @MySmile @Brenda55 

Aww thank you :-) I hope so! 

You're so right, you don't even have to buy actual vintage dresses or even pieces that are necessarily marketed as vintage/retro all the time. It just depends on how you wear it.

 
"There is one lady I know that is absolutely convinced I'm some time traveller from the 40's LOL! "


lol! Well...if time travel was a real thing, I'd definitely go back to the 40s, 50s, and 60s and get some of their awesome clothes. :-D

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@The Working Home Keeper 

I love Angelique Noire too!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@torgodog red looks amazing on her!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@The Working Home Keeper @Brenda55 

I follow them on Facebook...I'm obsessed! lol I only wish I could afford their clothes..one day. I have found some retro inspired clothing in discount stores though. Here is a picture of me after graduation :-)

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!!

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@Brenda55 I got excited..then I realized it was for Kindle and I don't have a Kindle lol

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Our Favorite Interracial Romance Authors Made History This Week!

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@BWC @zipporah @The Working Home Keeper @Driving Miss Britt 

dangit...got caught up watching these couple and wedding videos....now I'm sad :-(

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@BWC @zipporah @The Working Home Keeper @Driving Miss Britt 

Here's an example of a wm who is kind of urban or a little "down" I guess but not over the top or trying too hard.. .That's just him....Maybe not the type of guy I would date but I love them together!!! I enjoy watching them 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trf2ejPFID8 

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@BWC @zipporah @The Working Home Keeper @Driving Miss Britt I will say that most white guys who are "wiggery" (lol)  are like that because they grew up around a lot of black people...They are being true to themselves and that's fine.. I just don't want to date them. Then there are the ones who are not even from that type of environment and/or just trying to act like that when they are around black people or dating black women..

don't want to date either one...


I've fallen for  a couple of wm who I guess you could say are kind of "cool" or "smooth"....but wiggers? No way! There's a difference...

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@tonyrog @Browncow My dad said, if you don't know, look it up. lol...Needless to say, Google, Wikipedia, and Dictionary.com are my best friends :-P

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@secretshopper @kia you know what, I don't even think lazy is the right word..It's definitely limiting..even though some people do online dating because they're lazy, I think it's mostly because they don't know how/where to meet single men/women, they are apprehensive about meeting or approaching people offline (this is usually men), and/or they haven't had much luck meeting people in person...I'm talking about people who use online dating sites as their only way to meet men/ women...not everyone who is on a dating site....

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@secretshopper @kia 

I think using online dating as your only way to meet men is lazy unless you have no other options (and usually, you do)....It's very limiting. You can easily become bitter and frustrated if you spend all your time with "keyboard Romeos", as I've heard them called...and I'm too young for all that!  I'd rather get out there and meet people!


I quit the online dating sites I was part of. I got tired of it.  I admit that I have Tinder, which is a mobile dating app mostly 20 something use.. A lot of people use it just to hookup, but you can also get dates out of it.... I honestly don't think it's much worse than online dating sites when it comes to guys just wanting sex. If they just want to have sex, they will make it pretty obvious so usually the guys won't waste too much of your time if you're not up for that. I've had more disrespectful, bum,  sleazy, uneducated, low quality, guys contact me on Okcupid than on Tinder!! I've also rarely had guys say anything racial to me on Tinder...which is a relief considering some of the racial stuff guys have said to me on okcupid....and you can only have conversations with the people who are a mutual match (you are both attracted to and/or interested in each other)...not saying you will necessarily find your soulmate (it's possible), but it can be a way to meet guys. I think meetup can be realy good! You can get out there and do things with people. Almost everywhere you go is an opportunity to meet someone

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@ElLagoJeff @Brice Cameron 

Yeah, this just reminded me that  when I was on Okcupid, I was talking to this guy, and during one of our first conversations, he used the n word (with an a at the end, but still..he was trying way too hard)... I was instantly turned off. I didn't "go off" on him, but I actually did say something about it. He apologized, and periodically  he would try to message me again, but I didn't respond....I didn't even want to go down that road...

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@Bunny77 @MySmile @RhondaSpeights 


" In my experience though, the seasoned IR daters who were white men seemed to hold more stereotypes than the ones who were the blank slates."

Yep! Some assume that the next black woman will be just like their exes or other bw they've met.


..the only thing is that it could go either way with a guy who has never dated a black woman (or who has never dated interracially at all)...you could get the clean slate or you could get the guy who has hangups/stereotypes and is not prepared to stand up for you or handle anything... Love the clean slates with open minds though!

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@Bunny77 @Christelyn "And again, if I don't know you -- regardless of race -- I'm not into jokey jokes like that."

Exactly. It definitely has to do with how well you know the person too. I don't think I would have been okay with the things he said (calling her dumb, etc), regardless of how long I knew him, but the worst part is that he said this to someone he was not married to or dating, and hadn't even met in person or had more than one conversation with....You have to get a feel for the person and how they will respond to certain things before you start saying stuff like that...Just like writing, be aware of your audience

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@RhondaSpeights @MySmile 

I'll just be 100% honest, I used to be really skeptical of white men who only date black women (still am sometimes) because a lot of times, they are "wiggers" or their interest in black women is based on stereotypes.... I don't mind if they have dated a bw before though. Most times the guys I've dated were open to all girls or have dated a variety of colors and ethnicities (including other bw). I have occasionally been the first black girl someone has really liked or dated....but sometimes that can be annoying too (I'm not exactly a "seasoned" interracial dater but I'm not a rookie either haha) I'm starting to meet more non wigger guys who just think bw are gorgeous and awesome and I like that. I'm open to dating a guy who has a preference for bw as long as it's not based on limiting stereotypes...

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@Bunny77 " I've dealt with this kind of man before (IN PERSON!!!). Always making "jokes" about black people, including color ones, because he's so down with black people... and yes, he had been married to a black woman before, so his interest was genuine, but the whole date was "bougie black women" this and "light skinned/dark skinned women that" and "I played college basketball this," etc., etc."

Ughh. I can't stand these types of white guys...way too familiar with the black community and often have the same mindsets...we're incompatible...Sounds too close to a "wigger"...which is an extreme turn off....I don't feel black enough for these guys!!


I have this one white guy from college who dated a black girl and now he only dates black women (which is fine, his choice) but my problem is that now he tries to act so down and posts these pics, videos, and statuses bout how "N***az be like" this and "b*tches be like" that...and "side chicks" and all that nonsense...and he is not the first white guy I've known to do this. Sadly, they think this is how to appeal and relate to black people...by focusing on the most negative aspects of black American culture.... I don't understand why people think because they date black people, have black friends or family members that they can get away with anything.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@Kanika Ameerah Yes, I actually think she dodged a bullet. 

He seems completely clueless when it comes to talking to women...I wouldn't have been offended by the "Tall drink of water" thing if I was tall haha (maybe I'm just corny? :-)) but that's not exactly the best line to say in your first message to someone if  you're trying to find a meaningful relationship, especially if that's the only thing he said.....Nothing wrong with flirting, but maybe ask about her interests and also mention that something you find attractive about her? As long as it's not crass....and don't just say "You're a tall drink of water" and leave it at that haha. For me, a sincere compliment, question about my hobbies, or something funny and genuine will get a way better response than a generic and lazy "Hey, sexy ;-)"  (which doesn't get a response at all half the time..sometime I will say hey, or thank you and leave it at that). Don't leave it up to me to make a conversation out of thin air...Did he expect her to jump at the chance to talk to him?


He desperately needs to learn tact and respect....that's game to me..

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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He sounds like an immature, condescending douche who lacks tact. Regardless of race, he's just a jerk...Nothing was wrong with his initial message, so I do agree that she was a too defensive about that.....but the fact that he had something about CPT on his page shows he lacks tact..and then he went on and showed just what an ass he is..and this is coming from someone who definitely has a sense of humor. There's a difference.


exhibits ABCDE

"Then here comes Clair Huxtable.."  Really? Is this supposed to be an insult?

 "I told her CPT was funny to me and many people I knew....I told her she was the only person I knew that ever took offense to the CPT thing"

SO? I seriously hate when people do this. Just because something is not offensive to you and your 2 black friends, does not mean that noone is allowed to be offended by it. No, sir. People like this try to make others feel like they are being ridiculous or that their feelings are invalid.


"she needed to take her big brain and find a sense of humor." 

Then people like this will try to make it seem like you're the one with the problem...and the big brain part? totally condescending..he was definitely not saying that as a compliment...


"I had never seen a project manager who was dumb."

Seriously? Are we in the 5th grade?

"The things we endure to try and find a relationship."

Then he tries to make himself the victim? I just.....ok, I'll stop now....

 

 


1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@NubiaBlack  I do think that maybe she shouldn't have gone back and forth with him though. As tempting as it was, I probably would have just left it alone. I've dated several white men and I am not defensive or offended by everything, but at the same time, I'm not going to pretend to be the cool, magical, black girl who is never upset or offended by anything. Come on. He was rude and has no regard for other people's feelings. I can usually tell when someone doesn't have good intentions or is just a rotten person even though I ignore my intuition sometimes. In situations like this, I probably wouldn't have given him the benefit of the doubt and just stopped responding.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

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@TeeVee "swirling Meccas for BM/WW of the low quality kind. The populations of these areas are less educated, and the white men are also low quality. In these places you will find BW with wigger types."


This is also an important point! It depends on what type of man you are looking to date..It's not just "where are the white guys/non black men?" It's "where are the type of men I am looking to date?". I have actually come across a number of wm in rural, redneck areas, who are open to dating bw (especially online), but many of them are not doing much of anything with their lives, nor are they looking to (aka low quality)...you can find those anywhere...it's easy for a bw to find a low quality man wanting or willing to date her if she just wants anyone


I will go ahead and say that I find myself more attracted to "white collar" men for serious relationships/potential husbands....stability, responsibility, and a strong work ethic are important in a man to me. Not to say these qualities are only found in "white collar" men, but that's just what I find attractive...  I hear that Austin (where I'm moving) has a high percentage of educated, employed, bachelors in their 20s and 30s (Lots of techies and musicians, from what i've heard :-D.. love other musicians and creative, free thinking, individuals....just not the bum kind haha)


 I'm glad people are being so specific with their answers!  

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@Geekette221B I haven't been to Philadelphia yet! Well, I've passed through ...but I want to visit...I also have a cousin there who is in a relationship with a white guy :-) 

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@juleah @Driving Miss Britt @Christelyn "Different ethnicities may work together but they are not romantically mixing together or even living in the same neighborhoods." 


I think this is a big part of it, too...are people romantically mixing or are they just acquaintances and colleagues? A lot of people have no problem being platonic friends or going to school/ work with different people, but they wouldn't necessarily date across the color lines. Even some places that are seemingly diverse or progressive are said to not be so interracial friendly. Some say this is even true for places like NYC (not sure...I've only been there once...I know some of the neighborhoods are segregated by ethnicity). Then again, people working together can possibly lead to more romantic mixing.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@International_Responder

Exactly. I get what nubianinthedesert is trying to say, because I have had white guys who were interested in me who are from places that are seemingly non swirl friendly (aka the middle of nowhere West Virginia, Idaho) and I've also managed to have a dating life in places that weren't the most interracial friendly...


On the other hand....


People say all you need is one person,  but that's only halfway true...In the end, sure, it only needs to work out with that one special person BUT you need a decent sized dating pool because naturally, some things are not going to work out and who says you want to settle down with the first person you meet? I'd rather be somewhere I have more options than a place where the pickings are slim and/or people have 1 million hangups about interracial dating..... 

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@Swirlgirl28 I lived in Tallahassee, Florida (not far from Pensacola) as a child., so I can't say much about the dating there, but I know that North Florida and the panhandle are the more country, southern, or rural parts of Florida..The whole state of Florida is not the same. Totally different feel from south florida.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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I just realized that this may sound negative or like I have a bad attitude towards dating lol... but I really don't think I do. I definitely have my issues, but I like to think I'm friendly and approachable, and I was never one of those "all men are dogs" girls, no matter how much I get hurt...I hate when girls do that...I'm just telling it from my experience in Greensboro... I'm actively doing something to change my situation (moving to Austin, not just for dating though!). I'm also not saying all people in the area suck and you will never have any luck haha..


I've done some dating (not many relationships, but dating) but I am just being realistic about why this doesn't seem to be a good place for me and a few others have said the same. Most guys here seem too hesitant.  I know some bw/wm couples who met in college but I'm out of college now, so obviously that didn't happen for me haha and that's totally fine (not rushing it!). I know I need to work on myself too. It seems like a college town, but really my university was a lot of girls and gay men, the other big university in town is an HBCU, and there are a couple of really small colleges so it's not like it's dripping with 20 something guys. There seem to be a lot of engineers here for some reason, though.. I was seeing one for a little while....I was just saying  there does not seem to be a large pool of single, eligible men under 35 and there are better areas (even in the south) for interracial dating for bw (whether it's casual dating or relationships!). I'm sure it would be a decent place for families. I think bw can manage to have some type of dating life here, but  to be completely honest, I want to be somewhere with a smorgasbord of non black men open to dating me. :-D Austin, here I come!

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@Keioni Yeah my dad's side of the family lives in Hampton, VA and I don't see a lot of bw/wm couples there when I visit..I barely even saw bm/ww...I don't live there though, so take my words with a grain of salt.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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@The Working Home Keeper @Karla @MySmile I've only been to Asheville once and it was to visit the Biltmore when I was younger. Even then, the city seemed like a beautiful place.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

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