Former suburbanite. Femme. Bucket list blaster. Follow my adventures @ my blog.
I read this article when it first published on xojane. Everything about it annoyed me, but the "super conscious black woman with a white guy" is a going trend there. I don't think you'll find an article with a black woman in an IR who doesn't overcompensate themselves by looking uber conscious.
One of xo's former editors was that prototype...she lasted maybe a few months?
2 days, 16 hours ago on Why Are “Struggle Discussions” Always More Important Than Anything Else?
XO Jane doesn't make women of any race look emotionally healthy, quite honestly. The majority of the articles are written by whiny narcissists with a special snowflake complex.
If you read the following posts, you'd know this is a compilation of letters from another website.
@Browncow I agree with your assessment. I've always been attracted to white and mixed-race men since I was a child and that has nothing to do with any subliminal issues with BM. The only issues I had were with people judging my preferences, and me trying to mold them into something that wasn't true to me.
As for escaping Blackistan: I did that @ the age of 27 when I saved up my money and moved to a better area. No husband required. I surrounded myself with like minded people who wanted better for themselves. No husband required. If you want to escape Blackistan, you just go ahead and do it.
1 month, 1 week ago on Carrie: “Ulterior Motives: Are We Dating Interracially to Escape?”
@Ri74 Alan Cumming is actually pansexual (and married to a man), so that's where the vibe *possibly* comes from...but the perfectly waxed brows and eye makeup just...amplifies the effeminativity (is that a word) a touch?
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Why Women LOSE When They Select Mates Primarily on Looks
Was reading the comments on the FB page and well....I think it's really shameful and disgusting that women are fighting over an issue created by patriarchy and white supremacy...and that some people don't relate to the pain of others bc it's not similar to theirs.
Lighter skinned black women are worshipped by mostly self hating idiots. I have friends who are looked at as pieces of meat (mostly by BM) bc they have green eyes, "good hair", etc. This is not fun in any way, as is the hostility and abuse they receive from other women because they make negative assumptions about their character.
And if you have lighter skin, but not the right features, you get isht too. My mother is dark, and my father was light. My family is profoundly militant, so we do not subscribe to colorism. I look exactly like my father, and inherited his 4C hair, plus broad features. I was picked on mercilessly in JHS and part of HS because of them. I once read a comment on here by a woman who was called a "wasted yellow" as a child. Having light skin only works if you don't look "too black".
Even with that, I'm glad for my unique looks. To me, being exotified is no more a privilege than being vilified.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on Okay; I’ll Admit It. I’m Feeling Some Kinda Way about the New Doc, “Light Girls.”
I thought the same thing. The Caribbean is profoundly multicultural and multiethnic, so they don't have as many hangups about mixing to begin with. There are many West Indians mixed with black and Asian, including Indian.
My mother was married to a Trini bloke who was half black/chinese. I definitely think it's easier for BW to date Asian WI men than ones that are straight Asian or Asian American.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Another Letter From an Asian Guy…
Aww I feel trolled.
3 months, 3 weeks ago on Gifts for the Nerd In Your Life…
I love nerdy blokes. If I was seeing one, I'd get him a geeky gift for sure.
Many of the African ladies in my old hood would bleach their faces. The beauty supply shops also sell a bunch of imported hydroquinone products (in the back, as I think it is possibly illegal).
That said- skin bleaching is actually an international affair. It's also popular in Asia, particularly India. From what I gather, lighter skin is more of a class thing than race over there (darker skin implies exposure to sun due to manual labor). And as noted in a previous comment, it's popular in the Caribbean. Sammy Sosa and a reggae singer are two examples of people from the region who bleached their skin. They both look like corpses, as does Ms. Major.
Meanwhile in the US, Tiny Harris (American singer best known for reality show "Tiny and T.I."), recently had implants inserted into her eyes to permanently change the colour to ice grey. IMO, this procedure is just as dangerous as (if not more so than) skin bleaching, as you risk blindness with it. #leavewellenoughalone
3 months, 3 weeks ago on Are African Women More Desperate to Look White Than Black American Women?!
I've seen this type of behavior more than enough times on the (NYC) subway. Last encounter I witnessed was two young black chicks attacking a white woman on an uptown train because she had said something about them holding up the train. Really, it was just...not that deep.
I am annoyed by both these young girls who relish in acting stupidly, as well as the people who view them as entertainment. They both contribute to damaging the image of black American women. There is something equally disturbing about a person whose first reflex is to act violently (as if they're a rabid animal), as well as a person who finds amusement in spectating this violence. I can't say that if the girl was white, she wouldn't have been hit. There are some black women attackers who haven't been hit back, as well as white women attackers who have. This young lady probably caught the wrong dude- and it didn't help matters that she caused him to bleed by hitting him with a stiletto heel. His first reflex was probably to smack her.
Either way, it's a damned shame.
4 months ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@Lisa_Lisa I don't support anyone hitting anybody, male or female. All parties should keep their hands to their damned selves.
And just because *those* men didn't hit those WW back, doesn't mean it's OK for those young girls to go around hitting people with stiletto heels. It's behavior worse than a rabid wild animal.
4 months, 1 week ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@Myka Fisher Also find her stance on immigration a little hypocritical because from what I understand, her parents came here on a tourist visa and stayed.
4 months, 2 weeks ago on Mia Love Elected for Congress!
@Myka Fisher Agreed. I am not a big fan of modern-day Republicans in the least, but the Democrats aren't really that much better. I don't agree with Ms. Love's politics, but as a citizen of a free nation, I stand by her right to have them.
Just because the majority of IR relationships are AW/WM does not necessarily mean that Asian women enjoy being exotified. Anti Asian racism is often overlooked, but it certainly exists.
There are more and more Asian women (especially younger ones) who strongly object being exotified by white men, and are speaking out about it (for example- Ana Akana made a great video about this subject).
6 months ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!
Can't say this is accurate with the Latina and Asian women I know. They actually find being called spicy and exotic a little creepy and annoying. One Asian girl I know refuses to date wm because she doesn't like the weird ones with yellow fever.
Gets even worse. Her trashy lover throws her under the bus.
6 months, 1 week ago on Update on Danielle Watts: BB&W Exclusive Interview with Boyfriend, Brian
Troooooooooll in the midst.
I agree. This situation could have been squashed if the bf intervened by calming Daniele down first, then talking to the officer.
I agree with your assessment. What man would sit there and take photos/videos of his woman, who is clearly upset (extra or not), instead of consoling her or defending her honour by confirming that they were a couple and not prostitute/john? The officer, if racist would have taken the man's word more so.
He (bf) seems really sketchy.
6 months, 1 week ago on Opinion: On Defending Danielle Watts
This could've been easily diffused if she only told the police that they weren't having sex.
But then, I really don't expect rational, mature thinking from grown people who make out in cars like charged up adolescents. #growup #getaroom
like her exclusion of BM comes from trauma rather than preference. I
am not so such if she needs to explicitly exclude black men as she may
need to explicitly exclude herself from the dysfunctional environment
that men like her father and other relatives gravitate towards, and
surround herself with healthy people of all races.
6 months, 2 weeks ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”
@Sfbta I am, mainly because no solution ever comes out of it.
6 months, 3 weeks ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
I've been preparing for a board exam for the last four months (for my job field), and basically killed my social/dating life because of it. Exam is not for another three months, but I really have an urge to socialise and date again.
Mingling can be distracting, but ignoring my urges usually prove to be disastrous. What to do????
@MissFLondon @oceanspray "someone piped up and told her that her ancestors were either convicts or religious cult members who had been forced to depart our shores, so maybe she should have less to say about the Mexicans, because at least they were part of the land a century ago."Hahahahahahahahahahaa!!!!!
@jesslabellefleur @Browncow I've disliked MHP since she was go-girling that woman who was on welfare and had multiple OOW kids. Most of these academic liberals are usually upper-middle class and married to the other parent of their children, but will tell the everyday person that it's A-OK to make poor decisions that will affect you and your family. SMH
6 months, 3 weeks ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
I love fall myself- especially here in NY. Balanced weather, cool breeze, colourful trees and of course apples, pumpkins and Halloween!!!
I am not a fan of summer. The ones here are really too hot, humid and gross...it does such a job on my poor skin- which takes a month for it to recover. But this year, we had a seriously mild summer.
@Yorkshireman in Michigan @kiki jones @SavageTango I would figure a Brit would be all about BBC. I like their world news.
I also watch Al Jazeera English, NHK World News (Japanese news) and Arirang (Korean news). I find that US coverage of political and international news is often biased and inaccurate, so I take CNN, FOX and 'em with a grain of salt.
is why I have always had a major problem with liberals. They think
that people of colour (in addition to poor people) are too limited in
intelligence and capabilities to overcome anything, and that they need
constant coddling and handouts. It is quite insulting- especially if you're the type of person that had to work hard for everything you've accomplished.
6 months, 4 weeks ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
It's a hoax from a satire website. Poor taste imo.
7 months ago on How to Talk to Your Partner About Racially-Charged Issues
I think open and honest communication is the key when discussing delicate issues such as race.
I also believe that finding a mate with similar views is important as well, especially if you're very passionate about social issues. I personally lean more so on the progressive side, and would prefer the same in a partner.
7 months, 1 week ago on How to Talk to Your Partner About Racially-Charged Issues
I don't think she vagina blocked herself at all, she just wasn't interested in him. Also- he came off as a jerk with that CPT comment, and I would've called him out on that as well.
Also- that tall drink of water line gave me side eye. He needs to work on his game.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)
Oh ffs. This is why I locked my 4c hair and kept it moving. People with locks are the redheaded stepchildren of the natural hair community, but I'd rather deal with that than to be in the middle of this mess.
9 months ago on Oh Lawd. The “Ghosts of Mississippi” Have Arrived in the Natural Hair Community
Last year, Michel'le just came out and revealed that Dre abused her when they were together. Gave her black eyes, and broke her nose. I always remembered the Dee Barnes incident, and am surprised that he got away with that without a lick of jail time.
He's a woman-hating psycho. And now he's a very rich one. There is no justice in that.
10 months, 2 weeks ago on Before Dr. Dre Sold His Earphones to Apple, He Sold Black Girls Out to Everyone
Welcome to NYC, Tracy!
I'll be @ MoCCA this weekend! Hopefully, I'll see you there!
11 months, 4 weeks ago on Where the Guys Are: New York City Version
I have a twitter account for my blog, but barely use it because I find the twitter crowd really too aggressive and rabid in their politics.
12 months ago on My Take on the Jamilah Lemieux Liberal vs. Conservative Kerfuffle
or rather *minstrelsy* lol
1 year ago on I Told Tyler Perry I Want to See More HEALTHY Swirl Relationships on the Tom Joyner Show This Morning
I want to see a Tyler Perry movie without minstelsy, period.
As much as I dislike Nicki Minaj (and I dislike her ALOT), I am not bothered by the hair pic.
The nudity however, bothers me because I don't know if it's appropriate for celebs to show off that much flesh. Then again, I am a little on the modest side.
1 year ago on Really, Nicki Minaj? What Are You Trying to Prove?
"Blurred Lines" and the Arby hat aside, I've liked Pharrell ever since his N.E.R.D. days. He's a talented producer that thinks and acts outside the box. I don't think he's either a BW ally or basher so much that he's just transcultural and will work with whoever.
Also- he is a MAJOR supporter of the webseries "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" and ran the series on his YT channel (i am OTHER). He's cool beans in my book.
And in one OT regret: I *really* wish i had gotten that "Awkward Since The 80s" t-shirt from the ABG shop...They're sold out now :'(
1 year ago on Dear Black People, Can We Support More Songs Like This?!
@Karla Basically. I just scrolled down that textual tripe.
1 year ago on Sh!t Haters Say to Discourage Black Women From Dating Out
@UnlimitedBeauty @horrorjunky It also means "whore" (like the Italian word putan).
@kia That's exactly why I take black oscar wins with a grain of salt because usually their winning role is either dysfunctional or destitute. Hollyweird gets off on seeing black actors in roles like that.
1 year ago on Judge Not An Ally By Their Skin Color or Whom They Marry…Support is an Action
I missed the Oscars, as they aren't my thing, but totally agree that not every bm who dates/marries ww is bw's #1 enemy. As long as they aren't saying nasty, hateful $#!+ about blk women, I couldn't care less what their preference is.
This sounds pretty good. I definitely will print this recipe and try it.
I also tried the chicken paprikash last year, which was awesome (though very heavy lol). Thanks for sharing your recipes.
1 year ago on Cheddar Bacon And Scallion Souffle
@MACI I agree.
Also- I thought the judge was overstepping her boundaries by changing the kid's name (though NGL, I think "Messiah" screams "megalomaniacal" lol ). It's not like she named the kid "Adolf Hitler".
1 year ago on What’s In A Name?
@Reaching_100 I love your name!
My name is Kanika Ameerah.
My first name originates from Kenya and means "black cloth". It also is a popular name in India (it means "gold", "atom" or "seed" in Sanskrit). My middle name means "princess" in Arabic.
Here's the wikipedia for anyone who cares lol: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanika_(name)
My parents wanted to name me "Black Princess", as they were big into the black power movement back in the 70s (when I was born). They wanted to give me a name that reflected pride of who I am as a black woman. It was a move of love.
I am not going to lie and tell you that it was easy...People used to mispronounce and make fun of my name as a child. Not to mention, it just wasn't that common to have a name like mine back in the 80s, so I pretty much disliked my name coming up. One thing I do remember is that when I was a child, I wanted name barrettes. Of course, they didn't have any in my name, so for my birthday, a family friend had a set of name barrettes custom made for me. I still have two of them.
It was only recently that I noticed the negative association that my name has with some people. For example, I've been looking for another job for quite some time, and I rarely, if ever, get callbacks, even though I've had my resume looked over a trillion times. And now that I am looking for an apartment (in a nicer part of NYC), when I call to inquire about an apt for some reason it is "already rented".
Does it make me angry? Yes. Because I am being judged on a non-issue such as my name, when my credentials should speak for themselves. They don't see me as a responsible tax-paying, law abiding citizen that has been @ the same job for fifteen years, lived in the same apartments for years at a time and always paid their rent/had a good relationship with their landlords. They see me as a stereotype.
That said, I wouldn't change my name for anything. As I mentioned, my parents carefully chose my name out of love, and I want to honor their love for me by keeping my name- no matter how hard it is. Especially now that my father has since passed away.
And that's what it comes down to for these "ghetto" names. While I admit that many of them sound completely ridiculous and are aesthetically unappealing, most of these parents named their kids out of love, not to damn them. It's not the fault of the parent that we live in a racist, backwards and sick society that judges people based on silly stereotypes, instead of doing a proper background check to see what the INDIVIDUAL is all about first.
The racism and egoism that plagues America will be the downfall of it- not the person with the "ghetto name".
Wow that comment was just unnecessary. You weren't so much telling the truth as you were projecting your insecurities and internal ugliness onto someone who did absolutely nothing to you.
Trolling a message board won't do much for your self hatred issues...I suggest taking a hobby.
To Keyasha- I am glad that you haven't faced any issues with your name. And even if you did, don't change it ever. Let your accomplishments and credentials speak for themselves and the people who are smart enough to see a valuable employee will hire you.
I can't mess with pastel pink. It makes my lips look chapped. I would totes wear the second shade though (in gloss form).
1 year ago on A Rose by any other name: Pastel Pink Beauty Trends SS 2014