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Reminds me of that film "An Education", although it had a happy ending (the girl getting on with her life), far too many girls don't get that once derailed.

4 days, 18 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Yup.

Sammy, the good news is, you know what you want.

The not so good news is, you're too young to get it.

The great news is: you have time to become the kind of woman the quality men that you desire, also want.

4 days, 18 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Will she take the advice given here? Will it be possible to follow up at some point?

4 days, 18 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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They say that because girls bear the burden and shame of unplanned pregnancies (let me just leave out STDs for a minute), which can completely derail your life plans, whereas boys can pass on seemingly unaffected.

I'll never forget the story I heard of a girl who had had a baby, sending her cousin to do the physical exam for her, so that she could finish out high school at a 'normal' school and go on to UWI. She told her story years later...

4 days, 18 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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Why don't you ease into it, by trying a lip pencil under your lip balm? That's how I started out...

5 days, 4 hours ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

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Every time I see either Danai Gurira or Lupita Nyong'o, I get new ideas of colours I can rock!

5 days, 4 hours ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

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Alternately, you could try something lighter and quicker for your on-the-go lifestyle: a drop of foundation in with your daily face cream/moisturizer.

I've found it actually protects my skin in the cooler weather. Plus it's quick and dead easy.

Your mom has a point: even a quick slick of lipstick or gloss will not only protect your lips, but brings a splash of colour to your face especially if you don't use eye makeup, but will give you a boost.

Also, don't knock Chris' post a while back: you may just meet someone at Uni...

5 days, 5 hours ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

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Are you a deep or bright winter? I was told I was a winter too, and am just starting to embrace bright colours!

5 days, 5 hours ago on Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?”

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"glorified moments of generosity" BOOM! Glad this young lady survived and has a critical head on her shoulders. She is right though. Her father is delusional and that show just supports that.

1 week ago on The Iyanla Vanzant Cluster Cuss: We BB&W MUST Keep Discussing the High OOW Rate

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Agree. It's a wave. Chris makes a video and they roll on in, like the tide, then roll on out.

1 week, 4 days ago on Cop allegedly sexually assaults eight Black women – where are the women’s groups?

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Frankie"s voice! Uhmp!

1 week, 4 days ago on Asian Guy Shares His Feelings About AM/BW Relationships

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This. Attraction means nothing unless it leads to actions: pursuing, dating and marriage. We had that discussion over in the QOTW thread about staring.

1 week, 4 days ago on Asian Guy Shares His Feelings About AM/BW Relationships

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Yeah, a man staring is waaaaay up in his head, either enjoying the view or calculating his odds of having a chance with a BW. And once he's staring, he's not even realizing what the rest of his face is doing.

As usual Chris, great advice. All the same, I tell my kids, "I birthed ya, I'm allowed to stare at ya. And if you don't watch out, I'll come tickle you!"

1 week, 5 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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Going to watch video, but not before I say Chris, you look STUNNING! Your eyeshadow is giving me life!

1 week, 5 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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We were talking about this a while back over at Elegance's place: guys really seem to enjoy seeing things On women that are clearly feminine... ie that they wouldn't necessarily wear. So one does get treated more courteously when one is wearing a skirt or a dress, with a pretty bow or flowers in your hair.

There used to be a website about BW femininity about how to dress like in a feminine approachable way, but I can't find it anymore, or it's gone private...

1 week, 5 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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Congrats!

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

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@your epiphany @jazzyfae45 Heh. When I see guys like that while out and about, I make a habit of yawning. Even if I am not tired. Why would I stare at em if I'm not looking, or judging, but just getting on with my life. Their insecurities are their problem.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@LilaLeslie @oekmama You just said the magic word: visibility. I'm thinking it wasn't soooo rare as we are thinking, it just wasn't sooo visible in the media. 

Our resident historian SwirlQueen has posted lots of lovely posts, where IRR has been going on a while, but not present in media.


So the question is: Is media now better representing real life? Or are celebrities more than ever refusing to feed the fangirl fantasies, at the expense of living their lives how they want?

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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I don't believe in a 'usually' because taste is a varied thing. I've seen enough pictures of BW/WM couples (esp wedding pics) to know that tastes vary. I'm just glad I found the one whose taste I fit (and who fits mine!)

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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Jill Scott's commentary is as confusing today as then... She says she was raised to value character over colour, but... Insert my eye-roll here. She can speak for herself, if she calls herself a 'daughter of the dust.' That's a psychology of lack at work. I'm not dust which blows off the land and is a nuisance. Deep dark rich fertile soil is not the same as dirt. Ask any gardener.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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If it's a threat, then it's all in their heads. Literally. WW-fangirldom is based on fantasy. The fantasy that any Amy-Sue or Mary-Jane can close her eyes, 'erase' a fairly average-looking Kirsten Stewart and become Robert Pattinson's romantic partner. Kirsten became a generic stand-in, who gave WW-fangirldom the feeling that "it coulda been me!"

On the other hand, it's not so easy to erase a Tahliah (FKA Twigs' real name - thanks Wikipedia!) from beside a Robert or a Nicole from beside a Michael Fassbender. That disturbs the fantasy. Choosing to be with a non-WW doesn't support the "coulda been me" fantasy. And that's what the whole commotion seems to be about. The fact that these men are exercising free will to go after who they are attracted to, isn't what fantasy men do. And so they are trying to bully and shame these women into giving these men up.

I don't believe that it has anything to do with real life - because the numbers for IR marriages among WM and the BW/WM screen couples aren't prevalent enough to be a real life threat for WW yet.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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I agree with you, yes, femininity and approachability are key for BW changing that negative image. Absolutely. I've tried it, and it works.

However, here's what rubbed me wrong: here is a man who places what other's say OVER his own experience. His own experience to the contrary, should at least indicate to a critical thinker, that generalizations cannot be made as such.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. You see, for many people like him, who don't do social media, the Internet isn't real life.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

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Clever title, but you can't judge him by US standards as they're both British. Is that normal for celebrity Brits in the UK? Maybe theyre having a good laugh about it over a nice cuppa. Who knows?

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Is Robert Pattinson a Lame Swirler? Leaves Black Girlfriend to Save Himself From Online Bullies!

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True. Author info was missing, although I can guess authorship (ie Toni's post earlier today) based on topic and tone...

3 weeks ago on Three men who say they are “good.” Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from.

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Spot on. This is why I do not believe in 'discussing' my life choices with anyone. It seems to make em think they have a stake, and can change my mind, when in reality they don't.

3 weeks ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

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OOW= out of wedlock

BBW= beyond black &white

BW= black woman/women

BM= black man/men

Stik around, you'll get the hang of it soon!:-)

3 weeks ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!

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That's the funniest thing I've read this morning. Only thing I would love is to see a pic of their twitter intern.

3 weeks ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night

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I've read articles about trolls, and what you sayis true. There are a lot of folks out there too, who think it is fun and entertaining to bully and troll while hidden by anonymity. And when tracked down and confronted, they claim it was just innocent fun.

3 weeks, 3 days ago on The Nation of Social Media Hate Comes for Omari Hardwick’s Wife….

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It has something to do with some fear of colonial objectification, fetishization fear of being consumed. I'm not gonna bust a brain cell tryna figure it all out.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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Going to add... And getting enough sleep.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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Um, you ARE beautiful. If you were my best friend, I'd never say that to you, so please don't say that to yourself. Sometimes we have to cut off that inner critic, and stop certain trains of thought from going too far.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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@cns Let us know how it turns out, if possible. My guess is that after the show, Dentist-guy will go back to dating non-black women, but he took one for the GAT-DL  team on the show... and she will go back to being single? But at least she was 'kept away' from the Italian guy...

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

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@Sameriah I think that's the point. Once you have children, you have to make decisions in their best interest. Your mother made a wise but hard decision. And it is good that you are able to look at that and know that you will make different choices.

So it is crucial to choose the best father for your future children. And if the pool is too shallow, then widen the choice, rather than take the best from a bad lot.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

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@Brenda55 @N2ition I agree and disagree: I don't think their value goes down immediately. Because mothers do most of the caring (even if a woman gives the father his child, most men will pass the child onto HIS mother), they can hide their fatherhood status, claim ignorance or downright lie.

When I was 18 or 19, I had an admirer, who was trying to 'talk' to me, and he let slip that he had a child. As flattered as I was, and as cute as he was, I knew enough not to get into any relationship where there was even a potential of any babymama-drama.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

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It is his last sentence that sent a chill down my spine:

"A black person has to believe whites are superior in order to marry one of them because their entire culture is driven by RWS."

The writer has a very strange idea of marriage as a connection between someone inferior and superior. Which leads me to wonder who, for him, is the inferior party in an intraracial couple? SMH


With THAT kinda impression of BW, I don't need or want that guy's endorsement of Swirling.

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option

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@ChocolateDiva 
The ancestor reasoning kills me too! I try not to laugh too hard in people's faces. They have no clue.


I was reading Tom Reiss' "The Black General"* over the summer, and what struck me, is that our slave ancestors were more concerned about survival under those harsh conditions, and being able to live free and thrive. 




*It's about General Dumas, the father of the guy who wrote "The Count of Monte Cristo", but there was a chapter about slavery in St. Domingue/Haiti where he came from

4 weeks ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

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It is practical as an international BW to turn here for advice and support, as the BM we deal with out here in the wider world, are also taking cues from DBR-ratchet BM culture originating in the US. Amina is right: the attitude here is inclusive, and that is why I keep coming back every morning! :-D

I for one would love to hear more from Amina: What's going on in France for BW? What's the general consensus there? I have 1000 questions! LOL!


As for Wing Woman: You work it girl!

4 weeks ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

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Nichelle, that excerpt was all ---whoo!-- kinda sexy! And loving that twist out. Thanks for sharing!

4 weeks ago on IRR Romance: Nichelle Gregory’s “Soul Sweet”

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Exactly! It's what my granny would call a "back-handed compliment". It is along the lines of gosh you are pretty for a black girl. According to ajrock's logic, we should run with the pretty and forget the rest. Um no.

1 month ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

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I think the writer didn't realize that all her true feelings would somehow seep out withh her choice of words... Which seems to basically be that she is only comfortable in seeing a certain type of BW in a certain type of role.

1 month ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media

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Agree. I don't remember any other princes being so broke...

1 month ago on First Photos of Keke Palmer Playing Cinderella on Broadway!

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Here's the help you need:

#1 delete your profile on any and all hookup or sex sites. Do this now.

#2 sit down and think about the advice written here.

1 month ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

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On the run this morning, but just wanted to say: There's nothing wrong with what this letter writer has written or the reasons behind it.

Sure, she's angry at the treatment of her mother by her father, and of women by her brothers. She has a right to label that sort of thing wrong, AND decide that she doesn't want it in any man she is seeing.

That's the start of vetting: figuring out what you want in a partner and setting your standards high. Which is the d* special that she stipulated for ever datinga black man. This means, she's not about to give any man a pass based on skin colour, even though she realizes that these qualities would make a BM rare and "special". Good for her!

Dear Letter Writer,

You don't need help with your preferences IMHO. Maybe you need help with your anger. I could recommend taking a dose of BB&W and a sprinkling of Notyourgirlfriday to help with the guilt.

Stay Neutral!

PS- my brothers and cousins are all good looking BM who have women flocking them, and their behaviour helped me learn what kind of behaviour I would never stoop to, to get a man's attention, and what kind of behaviour I will not tolerate in a man. Nowadays, I see most BM as could-be-my cousins, so I too have no sexual attraction either. It's not a bad thing.

1 month ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”

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Great advice! And lovely pics!

Don't knock it ladies, unless you absolutely cannot stand dogs!

And for all the doubters, take a good look around on your next jog or walk about...people with dogs are making contact with each other... For some reason my cat doesn't like the idea of a leash...

1 month, 1 week ago on If You’re Single….Get a Dog!

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