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@janet28 "I do not care how you black women think"
Then get the hell on.
2 days, 12 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@BreannaNouveaux Yes! And Asian women aren't the only ones who age well and Latinas don't have a monopoly on curves. I think it all comes down to marketing. Black women just need a better PR company!
2 days, 14 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@caligirl94117 @SwirlQueen Yes we may be sleeping on 'the other Europe.' I've been approached by several very sweet Eastern European men in Los Angeles. I met one man who used to live in Detroit. His coworkers and closest friends were black. He told me he experienced the loving, warm-hearted side of African-American culture there.
2 days, 14 hours ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey
Definitely yes on grocery stores. But unmarried men don't pack the mainstream supermarket as much as your Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, or local co-op. If they have an interesting beer selection, sell packaged foods in single servings, or lots of hot to-go items, you can be sure young unmarried men shop there.
I'd add shops that sell outdoor clothing and equipment like REI, bicycle shops, stores for running shoes where they personally fit you, surf shops in coastal cities. Also comic book stores.
2 days, 15 hours ago on Leona’s Love Quest: The ABC’s of Finding Love
@EthanSchaeffer Christelyn is speaking as someone who has ran this site for years and is regularly flooded with queries from white men interested in black women who realize they've been fed a lot of misconceptions--just check past articles and her videos on youtube. In any society, the majority population WILL be more naive about the minority than vice-versa, not only due to numbers but simply because they don't HAVE to know. There's nothing offensive about this post anymore than the "ask a woman" column in a men's magazine making generalizations about men's preconceived notions about women and doling out helpful advice to correct that.
2 days, 23 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
For those who defend the stereotype, or don't even see it as something negative, please bear in mind that we're not talking about an individual's achievement in overcoming adversity, or their right to sovereignty and self-actualization...we are talking about denying black women their right to be WHOLE people who are protected and cared for. Nobody should have to operate in survival mode all the time just because they can. The phrase isn't just "strong" it is "strong black woman" as if black women are a species apart from other women. You never hear strong white woman, strong Asian woman, etc. We're talking about obstacles and lies that hurt us in the context of love, relationships, desireability, mating choice, etc. Being strong is not the best attribute in that area. The same way a job interviewer doesn't care that you have great fashion sense or can cook, most men won't see your ability to suffer through hardship or reject help as an asset. Yes black women have had to be strong for 200 years by necessity. But by God can we finally catch a break?
3 days, 11 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@_Toni_ @Christelyn She doesn't understand how she'd shirk the "strong and proud" label if that was ALL she was allowed to be.
3 days, 12 hours ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@Christelyn What is the title of that Bebe Moore Campbell book? "Your blues ain't like mine."
@caligirl94117 @dani-BBW Which countries are you taking her to? I've been missing international travel for some years now and have to live vicariously through some of you on this board :)
3 days, 17 hours ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey
@dani-BBW @caligirl94117 That's a great idea! If she's taking a foreign language in school this will bring those sometimes boring lessons to life. And if she isn't taking one this could encourage her to do so.
4 days, 18 hours ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey
@ChocolateDiva Yeah really. If he doesn't think she's attractive why would he care who she's with?!
@SupremeBeing Please post a photo of yourself and the one that loves you enough to pack up and move to another continent for you (IF there is any) so that we may all sit and judge YOUR looks.
4 days, 19 hours ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey
I love these little international gems you find, SwirlQueen. Serbia, Macedonia, Sweden...you can find black women thriving in all corners of the planet.
5 days, 21 hours ago on From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey
@SirLoinDeBeef @Maxine Thank you. I have to give credit to a book I read called The Seduction Mystique by Ginie Sayles. I suggest EVERY single woman read it. Despite the sexy title, she really covers the gamut, from meeting men in public, to dating, to monogamous relationships, break-ups, marriage, and divorce if necessary. It was published in 1990 pre-Internet dating era. She advises readers NEVER to tell a new date how poorly your ex treated you. Do not complain about the past. Because you stayed with that person and put up with it (at least for a little while), talking about it subconsciously tells your man that you think you deserve this type of treatment. Esp. if you have history of a string of losers, the new guy will start to believe that's what you want.
6 days, 23 hours ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
@ShepherdNation "There are just some times that you need to deliberately go to the mall by yourself and wander into the men's department to look for a gift for your brother, nephew, cousin, uncle or father."
I love this idea!
As for the wave technique, I think it's good to have in your arsenal if you're in situation that requires you to be in a group, like on vacation with girlfriends or at an invitation-only event where you're the guest of others.
1 week ago on OMG…Matthew Hussey Gives the Most BRILLIANT Advice on How to Get the Guy to Make a Move!
@MichelePaynter1 He's actually a HOT BRIT ;) I actually think this is the perfect gesture for shy people, as men are usually very curious and aren't often invited into a woman's personal space.
Between Huffington Post and something similar I saw on Buzzfeed, I hope this doesn't start a trend of mainstream ("white") publications airing more stories like this in an effort to diversify their audience. This does us no favors. We need to be smarter about what we tell people about ourselves. I know we're not a monolith, but when people outside the black community read these articles it makes black women look like victims. People pity victims, but they don't want to keep company with them. And people aren't as sympathetic as you think they are, esp. if they don't know you and yours. When you whine about "black men hate black women" their first thought is "What are black women doing to cause that?" Please stop the begging.
1 week, 1 day ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
@jazzyfae45 I haven't caught Gotham yet, but I love that a black woman is playing a mob boss. Very out-of-the-box role.
1 week, 1 day ago on Despite “Scandal” and HTGAWM, We’re Still Fighting Against the “Mammy” Trope
I'm so glad you posted this so other black women know not to spend money on this. She truly was a mammy in that she had no other back story or purpose throughout the film but to dote on the white family's child and then kill herself for them. I went into Annabelle thinking it would be a smart, scary movie like The Conjuring. Nope nope nope.
I have a hard time believing Alfre Woodard needs the money. I don't know her situation, but I'm assuming like a lot of actresses of a certain age she just wants to keep working, and we know the roles for black women are limited. Maybe there were scenes that were cut, or they filmed alternate endings? I don't know...just avoid this mess.
@tonyrog Awesome shade of blue on him.
1 week, 2 days ago on Man Candy Monday: A Well Dressed Man
Yay for the return of Man Candy Monday! I was missing it. I don't always comment but I always look :)
I love to see a good-looking man in a turtleneck (a real one--not mock!), particularly a royal blue or bright red against blonde or black hair. There's also something about a long, shiny tie or shiny, well-cinched dress shoes that drive me nuts. I can't explain it, it's on an instinctual level. I think feet and ties must be phallic symbols.
I think in general men shouldn't be afraid of fit, color, or pattern. Or actually wearing clothes to keep warm when it's cold. It's OK to wear an overcoat or a scarf. Layering is much more attractive than trying to be tough with no coat or a flimsy windbreaker, walking hunched over with your chin to your chest and your hands jammed in your pockets!
@MichelePaynter1 Definitely yes to 1 and 2!
2 weeks, 2 days ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session
@darkandlovely @Brenda55 I was thinking the same thing. I also thought Facebook issued warnings first or at least temporarily suspended pages before just wiping them out. I wonder what their definition of hate speech is, since BB&W has never incited violence against anyone.
I appreciate Christelyn and the BBW moderators and commentators so much. I sincerely hope Facebook's poor, hasty decision is reversed. (Petition signed!)
2 weeks, 4 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…
@ron232656 Please point to one single sentence anywhere on this site where people say it's OK for a policeman to be shot and killed. And as far as marches, you're always free to start one.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.
@mzsunshine I love that color for boots too! Knee-high with a stacked heel in leather or faux leather. Have you checked Zappos or 6pm.com?
3 weeks ago on Fabulous Boots For Fall
@ChocolateDiva Yes, I've seen this beauty=whiteness products to bleach the face, the lips, the armpits, etc. Interesting enough The Mindy Project had an episode titled Mindy Lahiri Is A Racist. Was it about her racial attitudes towards non-Indians? No. Whites? No. It was about whether she was racist against blacks, at the same time pining for a hot young black politician. And the black female character on there is a walking stereotype.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
@srhurd @Christelyn @DelaineThomas White European mother, black Jamaican father.
3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
@caligirl94117 @onmywayup @The Working Home Keeper @NavpreetDhillon "I once had an African American studies professor who summed it up that Asian (Indians included) and Latinos take one look at blacks on the American hierarchy and know that they will be more accepted and successful than blacks, in effect making themselves white."
I think a lot has to do with the country and its immigration policy. The US selects for people that are already highly skilled and highly educated. In England the Indian population is not so successful. In fact an Indian friend described Indians in England more like blacks in America.
@Law Wanxi @Law Wanxi Actually Latinos are claiming to be more American than blacks or whites that were born here, due to their indigenous ancestry. This goes for Latinos from San Salvador 2,000 miles away.
The only Indian with a TV show, Mindy Kaling, has dated 200 men on the show and they are 100% white, just like all her female friends. Most of India's population is light brown, dark brown, and even black, yet all of their television and movie stars look like they were imported from Greece or Italy. I won't mention personal statements made by Indian friends of mine that made me wonder had they ever seen a mirror. The only people declaring Indians white is themselves.
@phillychick @zipporah @mzsunshine And braid extensions are at least 3,000 years old. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2762537/The-way-Egypt-3-000-year-old-Amarnian-woman-unearthed-70-HAIR-EXTENSIONS-tied-intricate-layers.html
1 month ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night
Those who can, do. Those who can't, criticize.
1 month, 1 week ago on Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media
@Tipper2 I don't believe she was having sex either. Heavy petting, yes....actual intercourse, no. She lost her cool, but people are acting like she cussed the cop out or threatened him. The video doesn't capture the very beginning of the incident where supposedly the boyfriend was grilled "Who is she to you? How do you know her?" According to Watts the officer did not even speak to her. THAT is why the boyfriend said they were being treated like prostitute and client. If they were assumed to be a normal couple getting too frisky in public, why only speak to the male and ask how he knows the female?
1 month, 1 week ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”
@Neecy The power of being in show biz. Even if you've only had one small part in TV or movies, it just goes to show how the media prioritizes what they shine a light on.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Update on Danielle Watts: BB&W Exclusive Interview with Boyfriend, Brian
Wow--this story is splashed across the front page of CNN, with an interview of the both of them. http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/15/showbiz/django-unchained-actress-detained/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
@smartacus @Maxine @Statuesque She was on the phone with her father, but I guess he didn't advise her of this.
@PamelaFoster @Maxine @Tipper2 Every special interest group has piggy backed on the gains that blacks and their white allies have fought for. Every single one.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”
@Tipper2 @Maxine Interestingly I've found the darker the Indian the more colorstruck and prejudiced. Lighter-skinned Indians are secure in their privilege. It's the "black" ones that have to actively do what they can to separate themselves from blacks.
@Statuesque "She should have asked "are you arresting me ?" and confirmed the answer before walking away. That was the critical mistake if she wasn't going to comply with an illegal request. He cannot force her to ID herself unless the law requires it, but he can detain her until he confirms no crime was committed."
Therein lies the rub. She needed to make him answer whether she was free to go or not. I've broken my own rule about not reading article comments sections, which are rife with BW stereotypes about her giving "attitude"and escalating the situation by exercising her right to refuse. CA doesn't even require a person to carry their ID on them. Since the purpose of laws is to protect the public from harm (or people from harming themselves), did this cop's actions do anything more than waste time and humiliate an innocent couple?
It's bothersome to me that despite the law, a lot of people seem to take the attitude that well do whatever a cop tells you regardless of proper procedure and if you don't comply prepare to go to jail.
Making out? So there was no nudity, no actual sex acts? What would showing her ID even solve if there was no suspicion of criminal activity? Even married couples sometimes have different last names on their ID. Why didn't the cop just say this is a public place, go get a room?
@SacLove76 "Being black in this country has gotten really hard since Obama has been in office and I feel like these racist are taking it out on the rest of us FULL FORCE because he is the President."
You are speaking what I've been thinking. It's not something I can prove in a linear fashion, but I do get the vibe that racists who were threatened by his election sat back the first four years, in fear of some black takeover. Now that they've seen that having a black president neither deters racism nor gives black people special powers, they've just UNLEASHED. I honestly predict a lot more racists in positions of authority to get away with beating and murdering black civilians while Obama and Holder are still in office.
@Tipper2 Yup! Can't be on top unless there's another group under you. It's OK to ask for her papers to prove she's not a prostitute but not OK to ask for his to prove he's not an illegal.
@LorMarie I want to hear the police call audio. I would be shocked if it was a male caller, of any race. Honestly I believe a man who saw them making out would just enjoy the show!
@Zetahille What does the danger of being a cop have to do with it? I do believe when they chose that profession they were already aware of that! And I doubt any cop in Studio City is dealing with skinheads or murderous gangs. Most people who work in customer service will tell you that they're regularly mistreated by the public, so does that mean you'd be ok with every waitress being a jerk to you because she's in a difficult profession? The potential danger of the job is no excuse at all engage in misconduct or violate someone's rights.
@PaoloP Studio City is very white and affluent. I would guess a pearl-clutching, geriatric white woman who hardly ever goes anywhere.
@harem @Brenda55 " just read the other day about a 70 pound (I believe it was 70) teen that three cops took to the ground in her school over a cell phone that she was on concerning her ill mother. "
I saw that too. It was a Hispanic girl in Texas.
@wanderinglady @harem I live in Los Angeles. They could've been going to the park, to the beach, to a concert...it's 90 degrees here in broad daylight. We shouldn't have to wear silk suits and white church gloves 24/7 to prove we aren't prostitutes.
@ChristieRJohnson YES X 1000
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Ask a White Guy: Older Men, Younger Women?
@Statuesque What are the 4 Ps?
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?
Because most white men grow up with both a mother and a father, they absorb these early examples of relationships. Even if their parents divorce, they're still likely to see stable marriages through others in their community and social circle. Virtually all the white men I've known--friends or colleagues--always had marriage in mind as a life goal. Sure they sowed their wild oats in high school and college, but finding that dream girl and giving her the world was seen as a normal part of a healthy, adult life. Remember Christelyn's parody video of the single 45 year-old bm serial dater? It's funny because it's true. A lot of black men have just lost the desire for companionship these days. I think many bm marrying ww are doing so on impulse, or were pursued and pressured by the ww.
I don't know if it still rings true for 2014, but I read that money is the #1 reason behind divorce. What you spend your money on (or save your money for) is a reflection of your values. I'd be interested to see whether BW/WM couples are older, more educated, and/or more established in their careers compared to other couples by the time they marry.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?