Livefyre Profile

Activity Stream

Caponata, which is Sicilian eggplant caviar, if you like capers.  Serve in lettuce cups or endive spears instead of toast. Could also make baba ghanoush from the eggplants. Throw the tomatoes and sweet peppers, along with carrots and a little radish in the Vitamix for homemade V8 juice.  Or make gazpacho.  You can stir pureed red peppers into store-bought hummus.  I don't know about the green bell peppers...they just scream salad to me.  Leftover cucumbers for water, lemonade, or white sangria.

1 day, 1 hour ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

Reply

@HaroldBozarth @Kaiju_Bleu Out in the sticks?  Sounds like perfect picnic conditions.  For low-key physical activity you could play a game of washers, croquet, ring toss or horseshoe toss.

1 day, 15 hours ago on Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People

Reply

@CamilleJones Yes the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway).  I've wanted to rent a convertible and drive up with a guy who's not afraid of narrow, curvy roads on cliffs!

1 day, 15 hours ago on Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People

Reply

@LemonNLime @kiki100 I've been to England, France, Italy, and Holland, but have had Germany as well as the Czech Republic on my list for a while now.   Interesting about the Balkans. We hear so little of Eastern Europe.  A black male classmate in college said he loved living there, that people were so friendly and inquisitive, would come up to him and strike up conversations. They just don't get the amount of American tourists that Western European receives much less black people.  I never thought about the region until I saw The Unbearable Lightness of Being, a movie with Daniel Day-Lewis based on a book by a Czech author.  I also love beer--the pilsner style was invented there.  And I'd love to check out the Bohemian art glass.  Sounds like you had awesome adventures.

3 days, 3 hours ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!

Reply

@LemonNLime Thanks for sharing.  One of my best friends in high school did summer abroad in Spain and disliked it because her host mother told racist black jokes o_O.  



3 days, 3 hours ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!

Reply

Three years???  Was this a long distance relationship?

4 days, 6 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

Reply

@LemonNLime Can you do a quick summary of what you liked about your favorites and what you didn't like about China and Spain?  

4 days, 16 hours ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!

Reply

@QueenAnne What is scary is that he apparently wasn't selling untaxed cigarettes at the time of this incident but back in May.  Unless a cop can give you a reason for detaining you and tell you that reason, you're under no obligation to talk to him.  They had it out for him.  

6 days, 7 hours ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

Reply

@Tammy_Ghalden @robjk Guys said he couldn't breathe.  Chokeholds are NOT permitted according to NYPD's own rules.  They took him down like a steer for  their steak dinner. Murderers.

6 days, 10 hours ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

Reply

@robjk Did you notice the cop from behind with his arm around his neck?  I'm not a police officer but I don't think strangulation is part of their training to subdue a person. 

6 days, 10 hours ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

Reply

@lindsaynagle Agreed.  He doesn't have  50-11 children by umpteen baby mamas, I've never seen him cavorting with DBR Hollywood types (like the guys that made the colorstruck casting call for the gangsta rap movie), and even if he dates mixed or light-skinned women in his personal life (after apparently having had a black first wife), I've never heard him make racist, sexist, or colorist remarks.  

1 week ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?

Reply

@VadimvandenDonk I assume you're from Holland?  Interesting to get the perspective of a European.

1 week ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

Reply

Between this guy and Jason Momoa, I  think a trip to the Pacific Islands is in order...

1 week ago on Man Candy Monday: Wrestling with the Remarkable that is Roman Reigns

Reply

@ElLagoJeff @Fiji808 Agreed.  Many non-black women's attraction to black men is a matter of eye candy, not seeking a lifelong partner.  Women like to look too!

1 week ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?

Reply

@Lady A @Demilinda4 I think Demilinda4 is referring to the fact that his last wife was fully black/not light-skinned.  The woman in this picture gave birth to his baby a few months ago, but he already has an older, dark-skinned child by a former wife.

1 week, 1 day ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?

Reply

@Tempaccount @Lady A  "On youtube black men say they are ideal (not us) because they are tall, dark and handsome ....really something saved for men who were Italian I'm guessing? Or just dark hair and blacks adopted the term I believe"


Oh geez...are black male ignoramuses really thinking that term applies to them? That is a term by white American women to express their  desire for tall, Caucasian men with brown eyes and brown black hair!  Like Christian Bale types.  Some women do use the phrase to express a preference for tan or olive-skinned Southern Europeans, but the term was around before black men had any status and pop culture and when the races were legally segregated.    

1 week, 1 day ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?

Reply

@MixedUpInVegas "And why would any reputable Black actor be willing to participate in this denigration of their own race?"


I ask myself this every time I hear of Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, or Real Housewives of Atlanta.  

1 week, 2 days ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER

Reply

Ahem, as if the skin color/hair texture/finances/weight categories weren't bad enough, notice that Group D calls for "character" types.  This is acting parlance for non-leading roles.  This is where you typically find the sassy spitfire, funny asexual clown, or long-suffering mammy. 

1 week, 3 days ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER

Reply

@BreannaNouveaux "Where and when do black women learn this extreme loyalty?"


It my case it was drilled into me by my parents.

1 week, 5 days ago on Open Thread: Reader Questions Her Commitment to ‘Black Love’

Reply

This is great!  It's nice to see young people achieving, especially in the wake of losing her friend.  I too lost a close male friend in high school through a car accident.  I can't even imagine having to be under a microscope at that age.  Good on you, Tom Joyner.

1 week, 6 days ago on Got to Give Credit Where It’s Due…Some Real Knights Rode in to Save Rachel Jeantel

Reply

Ya'll are speaking my language.  I too used to watch this show with my Dad.  Bo was my favorite!

2 weeks, 2 days ago on TBT: The Dukes of Hazzard

Reply

@KalEl72 I remember an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker where there was a twentysomething Southern white guy who said his preference was dark-skinned women and named a couple of black celebrities as his dream woman.  Well the host stacked his mixer with white women with brown hair!

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@Justme65 I know Canadians hate to hear this, but it's as American as you can get without actually being in America.  

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

Reply

@Justme65 @Maxine I really enjoyed my visit to Vancouver.  That was a long time ago, but I've wondered about it ever since.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

Reply

@KalEl72 Does OK Cupid have an email for customer service?  Because I think it'd be helpful to send them a message that you specified a preference for black women but are getting 95% white profiles.  You never know...it may be happening to others and until they hear enough about  it, they won't think it  matters.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@Justme65 @Shasha7 Yes I've always heard the same, that it's the most openly racist and segregated city.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

Reply

I know we've had posts about Canada before.  Can anyone speak on their experiencing living/dating in Toronto or Vancouver?  I'm also curious about Utah since I'm outdoorsy and keep seeing places like Ogden, Park City, and Salt Lake pop up on various lists.  

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

Reply

@marie_christine2 Yes!  And before that Sissy Spacek got to go to prom with him in Carrie :)

2 weeks, 4 days ago on TBT: The Dukes of Hazzard

Reply

@Tammy_Ghalden @Christelyn  @Browncow @Gijou I do think a California Republican is different than say an Alabama or Texas Republican.  It seems the conservatism is tied more to economic policy than the racist, cultural conservatism of the South.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

Reply

@lindsaynagle I think people need to understand that certain jokes you make with your boys you've known forever are not the same as the woman they're trying to date.  If you make a Claire Huxtable and colored time joke before I've even met you, how many stereotypes and black jokes do I have to listen to throughout the relationship?  Or the rest of my life, since the goal is marriage?  And just because your black friends are dumb enough to put up with insults to their face doesn't mean I am.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@MySmile I cringed at the Claire Huxtable part.  She defends her opinion so he calls her the one famous black female lawyer from TV 25 years ago.

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@NubiaBlack Yes!  I got pompous,attention-seeking vibes when he started off with "my adventure" this evening.  Like it was a big deal, like  they went through something rough.  No dude you had a few awkward emails with a random stranger because you're both bad online communicators who dodged a bullet by not having that first date.  

How did CPT even come up?  Did he ask her for a date and then say 'now don't be late because I know about colored people time"?  NOT cute or attractive or appropriate.  And then he wrote that she was wound so tight and wanted to tell her that "she needed something else."  Oh yeah the tired old sexist trope that if a woman doesn't like you or is being a jerk to you (which she was) the solution is for her to get laid.


Honestly no one in this scenario lost out on their love of their life.  They could both use lessons in maturity, interracial dating, and online communicating.  


2 weeks, 6 days ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@oekmama "I don't know what CPT is, so I can't judge on that account."


Colored People Time.    


This is why, when it comes to online dating, I'm a big fan of getting to the in-person part as soon as possible, skipping the relationship-by-email.  You just can't read people's proper intentions and emotions on email, and it wastes a lot of time.



3 weeks ago on Ladies, Do NOT Date Interracially if You’re Too Suspicious of White Men. Please. Just…Don’t. (Letter)

Reply

@KalEl72 " I have however ran across many light skinned women who will only date the darkest black man they can find. Amateur psychology tells me they may feel the need to date this way because they have probably been teased about not being "black" enough."


I think your amateur psychology is spot on.  I am reminded of The Autobiography of Malcolm X where he stated that his extremely light-skinned mother married an extremely dark-skinned man because she wanted her children to have some color.  And in Jungle Fever, the black male character is very dark (Wesley Snipes) with a nearly-white (but black-identified) wife.  She goes on a rant about all the childhood teasing she endured for being mixed race and too light for the black community.  

3 weeks, 1 day ago on Open Thread: “How Do I Explain My Preference for Black Women without Sounding Like a Douche?”

Reply

@mystikspiral "ETA: Were there ANY witnesses to this incident? Is everything known about this incident based on his testimony alone? Hm."


He claimed in his tweets that five black guys jumped in to defend this woman that allegedly hit him.  So here we have an altercation of six black people jumping one white person on a busy New York street and nobody has a cell phone camera?

3 weeks, 1 day ago on Why I Have Mixed Feelings About the Firing of the Co-Host of the “Opie & Anthony” Show

Reply

I think his best explanation is NO explanation at all.  The older he gets the more he'll get tired of answering and explaining himself and realize the pointless of justifying himself to others.  Even though many people asking are just curious and not trying to be hostile, just explaining in the first place acknowledges that there is something different/abnormal about his preference.  And often people just follow up with even more questions that are either offensive or annoying.


I say turn it back on them by asking "Why do you like blondes/petite women/redheads?"   It's funny how people think others are conditioned to think a certain way, but never themselves.  They think their own preferences are natural.  And if he doesn't know that person's preference, just shrug and I say "I like what I like."

3 weeks, 1 day ago on Open Thread: “How Do I Explain My Preference for Black Women without Sounding Like a Douche?”

Reply

Guy has a history of vile, angry, racist rants castigating black people. He is a white supremacist period.  There is no evidence he was assaulted by her (police report?  witnesses?  photos or video?  none), but is using that as an excuse to dehumanize black women, call us savages and sacks of meat.  He was already so filled with hate that a black woman objecting to being photographed and made fun of--mouthing off and maybe taking a swat that may or may not have landed on him--is used as an excuse to promote racial hatred.  There is nothing she could've done or not have done to been seen as a human in his eyes.  No, zero mixed feelings.  Screw him to high heaven.

3 weeks, 2 days ago on Why I Have Mixed Feelings About the Firing of the Co-Host of the “Opie & Anthony” Show

Reply

@MySmile  Wow I can so relate. I too was very depressed when I left NC.  Many friends were moving up and on, and I was sick of doing the same things, going to the same places, hating my boss and striking out with men.  I was 30 and had money in the bank, but moved with no job and only knew one friend from college.  You have a much better chance of landing a job once you're already in a place anyway.  If you have a bachelor's you could get a part-time temp job scoring standardized tests. But University of Texas is huge so they always have tons of openings, and it's the capital so there's lots of city and state government jobs. I'd register with every possible temp agency.  Besides meetup, there's a site called meetin.org that's very active and has lots  of young people.  I'd also scour coffee shops (there are a lot of locally-owed ones) to see if you can perform there.  South Austin (as in south of downtown, south of the Colorado river) has a reputation as being hippie, unique, creative, but prices have gone up.  The east side is up-and-coming development and has new music venues and is a little cheaper.  Good  luck!

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Austin, TX Man Asks, “Am I the Black Woman’s Second Choice?”

Reply

@MySmile I moved there from NC too!  You will love it!  It will be easy to find musicians to play with.  

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Austin, TX Man Asks, “Am I the Black Woman’s Second Choice?”

Reply

I lived in Austin for about 4 years and LOVED it, even  though I thought the dating scene left a lot to be desired.  The black population there is so small that I hardly knew any black people but the black women I knew had white boyfriends or husbands.  The guy should know that Austin is a whole different ball of wax from  Houston (well he's finding that out now), Dallas, or San Antonio.  So the fact that these women choose to live in a city that doesn't have huge swaths of Blackistan means they're not likely to fit conformist notions of what a black woman should like.  The woman who said of course everyone's preference is their own race sounds like she's still insecure about him as a white man genuinely being into her, and/or she still has a layer of guilt about 'betraying' her race.  I wonder how the topic of interracial dating came up?  If she broached it, she's insecure about it.  And if he broached it....well he shouldn't.


As far as the white women there being "over" dating, that's the vibe I got from a lot of men as well.  Because people are so laid-back, I saw a lot of casual dating, sleeping around, and free form entanglements.  The population is also young (the letter writer didn't state his age) so many people are having their fun and not thinking about marriage.  I hardly remember meeting any college-educated people under 30 who were married....heck, 32 or 33.  If he's the type of guy who wants to court a woman in the traditional sense, and is seeking something serious, he will be catnip to black or other women seeking the same.  And bear in mind you can't suss out sexual preference by looking at a woman.  A lot of the ones who seem over dating are actually with other women.  I saw a little more of that there than I had in other locales. 

3 weeks, 6 days ago on Austin, TX Man Asks, “Am I the Black Woman’s Second Choice?”

Reply

@ChristieRJohnson Oh I think if you lived in Alaska for 5 months  then you've got Spain down pat!  Sunshine and wine over snow and bears.

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

@mixedwithfire Well if you're preference is white men the white population there is a minority.  City is about 2/3 Hispanic and only about 25% of the people have bachelor's degrees.  Still a change from where you are so good luck.

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

@bellechose @Browncow @VictoriaAntoine You might not need to cross the border to get some Canadian-ness.  Many Nova Scotians and Quebecois summer in Maine.  

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

@Leille Fishing sounds like a great opportunity to meet guys.  I imagine they'd strike up a conversation just out of curiosity.  Do you run 5K?  In So Cal there are plenty of 5k races with theme parties afterward (glow sticks and rave music, mud, beer, hot chocolate, colored powders) that give you the chance to meet people.  I bet they have some in NorCal.  I wouldn't give up  with online dating either.  It can take awhile.

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

@Browncow @VictoriaAntoine I think the small towns of Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire would be better than Boston or those Connecticut suburbs for people who work in NYC.  In cities as large as Boston, where many Europeans came over less than 100 years ago, you have racial groups butting heads for power and resources.  In rural areas with little to no minorities you're more likely to be seen as an individual rather than a black stereotype.  And Vermont has a reputation for being progressive.  

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

@Leille Are you outdoorsy?  Not that being outdoorsy and a techie are mutually exclusive, but I think guys who run, do water sports, climb, play volleyball, cycle, etc. are more open than the guys who stay in writing code all weekend.  I say hang out at the marina or join a club like Sierra Club or check out the events/classes calendar at your local REI store.  

4 weeks ago on QOTW: “Should I Move to More Interracial Relationship-Friendly Pastures?”

Reply

Girlfriend on the right can't even have him to herself on her birthday!

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Open Thread: Hotep-Dude’s Idea of a Legit Harem….You Know, for ‘Black Unity’

Reply

@Will E Uhm You're completely forgetting all the other factors like age, sexual orientation, availability, location, etc.  Many of us live in areas where men outnumber women, so why should we settle for this?

1 month ago on Open Thread: Hotep-Dude’s Idea of a Legit Harem….You Know, for ‘Black Unity’

Reply