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I think it's here to stay and I'm so glad that more women are going natural.
1 year, 7 months ago on Natural Hair: Fad, Trend or Movement?
@Lili2009 I have to agree with this. I used to think that I would take the "us against the world" approach, but now I would totally leave. It's not only my goal to have a loving and supportive husband, I expect his family to be nothing less than loving and supportive of me as well. So at this point in my life, I would leave someone whose parents felt negatively about me.
1 year, 11 months ago on Asian Mothers are CRAY!! Second Story I've Heard of Moms Threatening Suicide Over Black Girlfriends!
Umm...this wonderful beauty can wear whatever the heck she wants. If she competes in competitions, I'm sure she wears much less than she is wearing here. Plus, her body/health in a way is her business; it says if you want to look as fab as I do at SEVENTY or any age, hire me! Not mad at all, not mad at ALL.
1 year, 11 months ago on Mid-Week Inspiration: Over 70-Years Old, and STILL a Brick House
@Razzy I was thinking that this is more than likely something he's always wanted to say to his single mother. He's clearly still upset that she picked his loser father who abandoned them both. This is classic I hate my mother for picking a no good man to be my father.
1 year, 12 months ago on Part 4 – Are Black Women Stupid? Stupid Black Women Vaginal Mileage and Wife Worthiness
@Butterfly12 You could tell by the references those animals made in that video (Duke Lacrosse rape, Mike Tyson rape case, Trayvon Martin (SMH) etc.) that she was Black. Thankfully those pigs will pay for what they did.
2 years ago on Lets Talk About 'Rape' and 'Consent', Steubenville High School Edition
I'm starting to see this on IR dating sites where non-Black men are stating their preferences for a "strong ^ independent black woman." I skip right on by these profiles!
2 years ago on Man Vet Moment
@Patricia Kayden I like this. If I run into a new way to make side income I'm the first one to share it with my loved ones because that is much more helpful to them than loaning them money. Also, I was always taught to only loan someone money if you won't miss it; if you can't afford to help out, then don't.
2 years, 1 month ago on Racial Wealth Gap Is Partially Explained by Blacks Willingness to Help Their Poorer Relatives
@Brenda55 For analytical purposes, the median value is actually correct; that is the point in which 50% of people are richer and 50% of people are poorer that the median figure. Now, if the study used mean value, then yes, people like Bill Gates would skew the numbers upward and the mean figure would have no meaning. However, since median value was used, this is the best figure to illustrate the racial wealth gap.
Just another quick post, I'm going with this is his issue to deal with, she's simply stating her experience, and on a certain level immutable facts. If there isn't a BW in a certain movie, clearly it's a visual fact. She notices thing she doesn't notice, and probably never noticed. Would he take on the same guilt if she noticed there were no women on a particular board of directors at a certain film studio? Or that she got looked over for a management position at a Tech firm in favor of an under-qualified man?
2 years, 1 month ago on (Bonus) Question of the Week: Black Women Blaming Their White Boyfriends for Racism
I find it odd to take on guilt when someone expresses their experiences with someone or a particular group of people who you just happen to share some benign characteristics with, that would concern me. It would also disturb me if my SO felt that, "he was that white man bringing your people down." Eeek! Maybe he harbors some feelings that he never knew he had and never had to deal with until now. Has he ever asked himself why it makes him uncomfortable, beyond his surface reaction.
I fully expect that I should be able to express certain concerns with my SO (don't get me wrong, there is a line) and not have to save them for my girlfriends/family/etc. Certain topics may be uncomfortable in an IR relationship, but I think they're as uncomfortable as you make them.
Women like Lucy Parsons, Ida B. Wells (I know you haven't covered her but I just love and adore her!!!), etc. deserve to be household names just as much as our Harriet Tubmans, Sojourner Truths, etc. Funny, Ida B. Wells had a white female detractor too, Frances Willard.
2 years, 1 month ago on Swirling and History Part Six: Lucy Parsons
I really enjoyed this read! I think several BW in this position are now finding out too that those jobs aren't as dedicated to them as they have been to those jobs. It's all about balance. You can have it all, just not at the same time.
2 years, 1 month ago on Letter From a BB&W Reader: "I don’t want someone else to wake up and realize they made a mistake."
I think we've always been "in," but what I think is happening now is more Black women are taking control over our image and doing it with femininity, grace and fierce business acumen, or I should say there are women who have been doing this all along, but this type of Black woman is much more visible now and setting a new precedent.
2 years, 1 month ago on Are Black Women 'In' Right Now?
I haven't seen this movie, but going off some of the things I've heard, it seems like the accolades surrounding this film is what Khadija calls the obsession with Black women's "pain porn."
2 years, 1 month ago on So, Why Are We Swooning over "Beasts of the Southern Wild"?
@Toni_M This is so true. The Chicago Crime Commission President even said himself, if not for the increasing amount of children being caught up in gun/gang wars cross-hairs, the rate of killings would not be of concern. Unbelievable!
2 years, 1 month ago on In the Wake of Newtown: Chicago Mother Loses All Four Children to Gun Violence
Actually, I think there are more people who support her than those who do not. It's similar to Gabby's hair fiasco, and any other dissenting opinions involving BW, we should just ignore them. When we give dissenters even a sliver of attention their hate tends to overshadow the positive and original message or accomplishment.
Anyway, congrats to Curly Nikki! Publishing your first book is a great achievement!
2 years, 1 month ago on Curly Nikki's Book "Better Than Good Hair" Launches Today, and Some Folks Can't Hide Their Haterade.
@Lili2009 Chicago legislators threw their hands up at the gun violence years ago when they asked for the National Guard to take over.
I don't even know how this woman could deal with something so horrific. To outlive every single child of yours due all because of senselessness.
Also, I'm so curious as to who was Yasser Arafat's mistress!
2 years, 2 months ago on Kola Boof: Billionaires Prefer *Black* Women
WOW! This was a fun read!
@KolaBoof1 Did Ben say that to you? You know, I could totally see him saying that. Is his wife Black? I've never read any info on her.
This was a great read and lovely story! I'm so happy for you; and you're such a brave lady to keep pushing forward! Kudos to you and your love!
2 years, 2 months ago on BB&W Love Story: R. Kamaria Finds Her Rainbeau!
I also avoid people who over-share their likes and dislikes. I think those are things that people should work to find out overtime.
2 years, 2 months ago on Leona’s Love Quest Part XIX- Daters or Haters? Looking for Red Flags in Online Profiles
@Shawnna Yesss! I overlook those profiles too!
I also overlook profiles of guys who post pictures of their ex-girlfriends (yes I've seen this on occasion with a caption noting it's an ex) or guys who have shirtless pictures or a beer in each.single.photo.
This is so wonderful!
I love lurking your blog. Congrats to you and your hubby on expanding your family!
I am ROFL at the husband in all caps.
2 years, 2 months ago on Congrats are in order! Our very own Eugenia is expecting her own little bun!
@Avoc42883 I have to agree with this. I'm inclined to believe that the type of woman who would do this just has dysfunctional relationships period, and that's all I'll say on that. Haha.
2 years, 3 months ago on The "White Guy Pass": Does It Exist?
Her story is not ideal, but still fascinating nonetheless. I had no idea; I'm not surprised about the mob wives, though.
2 years, 3 months ago on So What's It Like To Be Black, A Woman, And Gasp!!! Married To The Mob
This turned out nicely, and congrats on your pending engagement.
I have to say that I've come across more than a few stories this year in which AM are defying their parents wishes and dating/marrying BW. It's quite interesting and hopefully something that will happen more as time goes on, but with increased acceptance.
2 years, 3 months ago on Vietnamese Guy Gives Real Talk on His Blasian Relationship, Plus How Things Went Down with His Parents
Studies like this are always interesting, but they should never knock you off of your game or alter your course. As always ladies, focus on those who DO like you, as women and as Black women, not the ones who do not!
2 years, 3 months ago on Examining the Trend: The REAL Reasons Why Black Women and White Men Are Not Hooking Up
This is so true and think you for your perspective. I've always felt this way but did not know quite how to verbalize. Yes, most people are dating within their immediate surroundings. This is why it's so important for BW to elevate their lives and well-being if they're living in not so ideal surroundings.
2 years, 5 months ago on "You Chose Him!" But Really, If You're Living in the Hood, What Choice Do You REALLY Have?
Wow, pretty cool and congrats.
I noticed goddess of the week and the male version stopped. Why is that?
2 years, 5 months ago on "Swirling" Success Story! BB&W's Very Own, Jewel Barnett Gets Hitched!
I don't have this channel, but this is awesome, and I can't wait to see it!
Your publicist is working it, lol!
2 years, 6 months ago on Me, "Swirling" and BB&W on CNN's HLN Weekend Express. UPDATE: I Taped It!
Wow, this group sounds so awesome! I wish there were something like this in the Midwest (Chicago, Minneapolis, Milwaukee).
Sonya, if you don't mind me asking, what is the age range of the group members and of those who are entering serious relationships and marriages?
2 years, 7 months ago on Meetup Groups Are Where It's At: Atlanta's ONYX Boast 10 Marriages and Counting!
This made me chuckle, lol. I like your no nonsense style! I see this all the time on YouTube. It just so happens that a good handful of my fav. Youtubers (BW) are in interracial relationships and marriages. They always get horrible comments from those trolls, even when the video just shows them being candid with their SO or something totally not related to IRR. Speaks volumes!
2 years, 9 months ago on Second Memo: BWE/IRR-blog sites are STILL NOT your black-love hook-up source!
I'm noticing lots of young (think teens) WM and BW unions in person and across the web. I do wonder if it's because these kids are more informed or clueless. I came across a BW interracial dating tumblr where this young BW wrote in a note about being her boyfriends "secret" love because his parents told him he has to marry another Muslim. Her note made me really sad because I know she's not getting the proper advice that the proper mate in a secure IRR wouldn't hide her under any circumstances, even if he had to defy his parents.
2 years, 9 months ago on Young Black Girls and the Future of Swirling
I'm not a parent yet, but when people ask me stupid questions like these, in response I would say, "Why would you assume he/she isn't mine?"
2 years, 9 months ago on "Is That Your Baby?!" The Dreaded Question Black Mothers Increasingly Have to Answer
Hello Adam. I'm sorry to hear of your recent loss. Sending my sincerest condolences.
2 years, 9 months ago on Time to Reach Out to a Fellow UK BB&W Fan...
Lol, I guess I should add that I am Ginger, nor Liz, nor an affiliate, just a happy minimal-chemical, vegan-leaning customer. My fav. color is Got My Groove Back, a beautiful metallic gold!
3 years, 1 month ago on Product Pic: 'Healthy' Nail Polish!
Have you heard of Ginger + Liz nail polish? It's non-toxic and vegan, they have beautiful colors, and an added bonus, the owners, Ginger and Liz are Black women!
http://www.gingerandliz.com/ - website
http://iamnecole.com/blog/?p=5211877402 - an interview with the ladies.
Wow, I would have never thought Oneika ever got this kind of flack for her lifestyle because she never talks about it on her blog. Way to keep it positive!
3 years, 1 month ago on Are You Letting the Haters Hold You Back from Fulfilling your Travel Dreams?
If they're siting an "internet dating study" as their source, what about the men who don't use internet dating? Should this "study" speak for them as well?
*sigh* The push back continues..I just hope BW who come across this will not allow this to infiltrate their reality.
3 years, 2 months ago on Survey Says: Majority of Black Women Interested in Interracial Dating, But...
Well isn't the going thing now is that nearly 50% of BW have never been married, isn't that the attention grabbing, money-making headline? Well of course then we can't mess up that shtick with positive images of BW in loving relationships with Non-BM.
Oh, and apparently Gerard Butler briefly dated Kola Boof!
When White Male Movie Stars date Black Women--The Press tries to Ignore it. by Maria Alvarez-http://hollyhood600.webs.com/
I didn't know Brad Pitt also dated Thandie Newton (found that out recently)! Leo Dicaprio has been known to date Black models, but you never see that in the press of course!
3 years, 2 months ago on Why No Love for Swirling Power Couples in Hollywood?
I recall reading the type of student that teachers most remember and enjoy, and It isn't the smartest kid, nor the teacher's pet or even the disruptive child, but it's the well mannered children that teacher's most remember across their career. Many of the teachers interviewed said they often would go above and beyond to help a well-mannered student in need of extra help..
Etiquette simply shows that you have care and consideration for those around you. This tells people that you are considerate and perhaps trustworthy, hence the reason why the celebrity singer was comfortable enough to hire the author. Her comportment showed she wouldn't be eager to name-drop or dish about the celebrity client.
Etiquette, manners and comportment can only help you, and it's very telling of the person who tries to dissuade anyone from developing these skills.
3 years, 2 months ago on Resident "Miss Manners" Demita Usher On the Lost Art of Etiquette
I had to come out and share something that quite a few rainbows have used as an icebreaker on me and it wasn't until I read a "conversationalist" book that I realized they were all on to something.
Instead of asking what's your name, what do you do for a living, or even commenting women on something they're wearing, pick a "third object" to initiate conversation and gauge her response to see if you'd like to go further. Comment on something she's doing, buying, etc.
This is why talking about the weather works for strangers! Talking about a third object other than her or yourself also does a few more things, 1. It makes you come off as confident and comfortable; most people don't talk to someone who catches their eye because they don't have anything to talk about or they do approach the person and come across as creepy or aggressive because they pick intrusive & just flat-out wrong topics to discuss. 2. It gives you the opportunity to gauge her according to how she responds. If she gives you the third eye, just leave her be, but that's not an outright rejection of you, just your attempt at being friendly. If she doesn't give you the third eye and actually responds favorably, then you're one step closer to disqualifying her as the nothing-but-a-brother type.
I also read a comment here in an older thread where a reader mentioned how she met her husband and he did something similar. They met in a used bookstore? that played oldies R&B music and while browsing he just randomly started shooting off the song names and recording artist. He didn't say hi, ask her name, none of that, he just said "Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles" as the song played (example of course), but It opened her up to conversation because she was shocked and intrigued by his knowledge and approach.
3 years, 3 months ago on Question of the Week: White Guy Asks, "How Can I Get Over My Fear of Approaching Black Women?"