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@EmpressNK " I'm impressed that you contacted Christelyn. I think you're a smart girl and I have high hopes for you. I wish you all the best, and I hope you will step up to the plate and seek the best for your own life x. "


To the writer.... I believe that you are smart and I have high hopes for you as well.  As I tell my students all the time (I teach high school),  Blaze your own path.  Reflect on the way.  What worked well and are processes that you want to keep?  What steps could have been better, and knowing that now, what changes will you make and what things that did work will you more fully incorporate in your life?   You have as much value as anyone else in this world.  Take your place in it.  Live and love and laugh and thrive.  Yes, along the way there will be frustrations and heartbreak and bad experiences.  Dont shrink from them either - you WILL survive and thrive and be stronger for those experiences too.  Enjoy the ride, both the thrilling parts as well as the scary ones.  At the final bell many years from now, we all have a complete story, and only you can write yours.  Good luck and much happiness to you.

4 days, 14 hours ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.

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@Brenda55 "It does not do to wake a sleeping giant."


NO it does not.  Pandora's Box......

5 days, 12 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@_Toni_ " I hate (read: love) to be the one to tell them but they can't put the lid back on what's happening."


If many of them have trouble spelling simple words, somehow I suspect the example of Pandora's Box will be lost on them and they will not see the correlation...  But you are SO correct

5 days, 12 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@Christelyn Boy, our educational system sure is a mess.  What are those damn teachers teaching these days?  

5 days, 12 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@_Toni_ "And no, you haters will NOT be welcome in the new space. So get it all out of your system now, because I expect when things go live you and your irrelevant opinions will be non-existent."


And to those haters..... please feel free to create whatever venomous, hate-filled crying and whining spaces that you petulant children choose to occupy.  We wont bother you, complain, whine, try to get it taken away from you.  We will just ignore you, just as much of the world is doing.  You are irrelevant to everyone except yourselves.  Please feel free to exist together.  The entire world will just continue to ignore you.


5 days, 12 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@Christelyn  @Brenda55 @Laura_j Yes they have...... It was bound to happen sooner or later.  And as they are now realizing it.... commercials... visible swirled couples... etc... it is not only too late for them to slow it down it is too late for them to do a damn thing about it.  That is the best they can do, take down a Facebook page?  Oooohhh, that hurts.  That is the best they have, really???  Spew grammatically incorrect (and therefore showing their ignorance) all over the WORLD wide web?  Just makes them look look like silly, whining, petulant (another word they wont know and that is sad) children.  

5 days, 13 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@darkandlovely @caligirl94117 @BWC @itsgoodtobeme

Below is what I sent Facebook.  I cant wait to see what they say.


"I want to know why this was taken down.  If it violated terms of service, please give detailed examples.  It is very disconcerting when a few haters can get together and have a page taken down just because they do not agree with the content.  In this case that page was completely about interracial relationships.  It sets a bad precedent when FB dances to the tunes of racist folks.  Is that what FB has become?"

5 days, 13 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@MixedUpInVegas "See, don't make a Black woman mad!"


Geez no......   When she flashes you Annaliese Keating eyes, you had better run....

5 days, 14 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@dani-BBW @ChocolateDiva " I saw Black Twitter get all happy that Shonda finally has a Black couple, on the new Viola Davis show. That guy turned out to be hiding being bisexual and the couple is now on the rocks. "


I was SO excited when I saw that Viola's character had a white husband (and she is HOT.  Although the laser eyes make you feel like she is about to chew you out for something.  When Bella looks at me like that I say "quit giving me the Annaliese Keating eyes") and then they killed him off in the first episode.  So go WM BW couples in mainstream TV.  At least they showed them for one episode so the world IS changing.

5 days, 14 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@onmywayup They are the ones paying no attention in school, have chronic attendance issues, often are suspended, do not turn in homework, do not participate in class....  And it shows.  Personally, I would be embarrassed - they are not - if my language skills were so abysmal (and no, they wont know what that word means)

5 days, 15 hours ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.

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@socialbutterfly I believe that a meet-up event in Las Vegas next July is in the works.  Christelyn will probably be talking more about it later.

6 days, 12 hours ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session

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@MichelePaynter1 @EarthJeff @rexy012 " I do so wish and invite such men to write about their loving experiences with BW, on this site, or any other positive blog, muuch like BB&W."


I know I always enjoyed sharing... I should get back to that...


1 week, 1 day ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session

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@rexy012 "BB & W has shown their are thousands of men who date, marry, and have families with BW. If their are BM who do not see the beauty in us, I can assure you that their are others that do."


Yes there are... we are out here...

1 week, 1 day ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session

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@Marielisa_ @N2ition " You end up developing super efficient avoidance skills :"


I bet.  Probably have a pretty keen radar too.

1 week, 1 day ago on He Said, She Said…A Discussion About Street Harassment with Dual Perspectives

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@lindsaynagle "It is ultimately up to MEN to make the change. "


Very true.  It is up to the man to change.  For him to understand what is right and what is wrong, how to treat women, etc.  It is upon his fathers, uncles, brothers to check his behavior when it is wrong.  It is upon him to teach his sons and nephews how to be a proper man.  It is on ALL of us men - no matter what the color - to refuse to allow other males to bully women.  We have a long road ahead.

1 week, 1 day ago on He Said, She Said…A Discussion About Street Harassment with Dual Perspectives

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@Oaktown Paul  @lorelei84 "The really powerful change will occur when bw and wm (or other non-black men) actively pursue opportunities to partner together and/or support their doing business with each other."


I vary much agree with you.  I would do that...

1 week, 1 day ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session

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@Oaktown Paul "Indeed, "the pendulum has swung the other way."

This is a good thing "for everyone!"


Agreed.....

1 week, 5 days ago on From a Black Man’s Mouth: About All That Hate…

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@mzsunshine @The Working Home Keeper "What is it about bows or flowers in the hair, that make people notice? When I adorn my afro with a flower, I receive so many compliments. "


It IS just a very pretty, very feminine look.  And we all like to get compliments, it is really a nice feeling that someone noticed something about us.  I have always complimented women who have a bow or flower in their hair and look pretty.  Just being nice, it certainly was not always an approach move.

1 week, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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@jazzyfae45 "Or maybe my hair just looks crazy or I have a booger hanging out my nose I don't know about lol.


Probably the hair....  ;)

1 week, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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@Swirlgirl28 "My advice to nonblack males is to suck it up, be a man and just approach her; not all black women are close minded and only want black men. A lot of us love men of all races."


Slowly... but more and more we are doing just that.  But all of us here, we are changing the world one couple at a time.  One couple to be seen by just one man or woman that then thinks "they look so cute together... gee... I could do that too..." and opens up their possibilities.  Next thing you know there are TWO couples out being seen now observed by TWO men or women.

1 week, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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"I dont bite unless you want me to..."


That would nudge me from the stare and smile to a chuckle and a comment to open the conversation up.  


Bella and I like to joke about if only we had met 10 years ago in the grocery store or such ... she says her default face was mean mug, and I joke that I would have been too wienie-fied to do anything but keep pushing the cart past her...

1 week, 6 days ago on QOTW: “Men Stare, But Don’t Make a Move. What Gives?”

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@BeauWinters @EarthJeff "Yes, and I've seen wonderful evidence of you flaunting and supporting your beautiful lady."


Of course.  If I am not proud to flaunt and support her... there is a problem with ME... and I probably should not be in that relationship...

1 week, 6 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@friendswmimi @EarthJeff That will be fun, and it will get here quickly.  We are doing Vegas in July, the same week that Christelyn is hoping to do the BB & W bash.  Bella has a countdown clock that tells her every day how many days left.....  It is flying by....

2 weeks ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

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What a sweet story..... Much happiness to both.  Everyone loves a cute, romantic story....

2 weeks ago on John and Jenese–You Will NOT Want to Skip This!

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@friendswmimi @EarthJeff So when are where is the big event?  I am sure that you are going to be the SECOND (sorry.... have to....) most beautiful bride ever,,,,

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

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Michelle and Don....... SWEET......  Congrats and much happiness to you both!  One couple at a time....  haters be darned..... Love sees color, it just doesnt care (cant remember who it was that said that to give proper credit)...

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!

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@annyjay400 "At least on this forum Christelyn and other commenters have tried to "educate" us in trying to read the signs of interest from WM. Turn about is fair play so I think they need a "crash course" on what to do when a BW is interested. Just my two cents...."


Fantastic point....  Class is in session... ladies?

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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@Brice Cameron @oceanspray "It is possible for both things to be true.  People (not just black women) should make an effort to smile and look friendly.  Studies have shown that smiling actually makes you feel better.  At the same time, guys(especially American white guys) need to man up and learn to recognize the clues a woman gives when she is receptive to friendly interaction or more."


I agree completely.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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@BeauWinters "The thing I like to point out, though, is that I see lot of women of other ethnicities that have that same problem and it doesn't stop men from approaching them. I sometimes really hate the feeling that black women have to do so much more to get on the same level as other women, that's my only problem with that letter."


Well that is a good point.  I would submit that.... that is where the "angry black woman" stereotype - as unfair and usually as untrue as it is - works against you ladies.  If I see 3 women of different ethnicities and I am interested in all three and all are scowling... I would be LEAST likely to approach the black woman due to greatest fear that she is going to go off on me.  I am not laying it all on you ladies.... clearly that is as much an issue in MY head as anything... but that is the reality.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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@dmm2425 "but unfortunately I'm wayyyy to shy to start a convo with a guy I'm interested in"


That is OK, then you just have to be approachable for him to come start the convo.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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@Marielisa_ @BeauWinters "Regarding the "smile more" thing, I can't help but being annoyed by that as well. Sometimes I feel that us women have to do so much to attract men... I feel depressed. "


I cant help but to respectfully disagree with you a bit.  Please dont be annoyed and it isnt that you have to do so much to attract men... it isnt about who has to do the work... it is about being APPROACHABLE.  That goes for both sides of this equation.  But the simple fact of the matter is that if you are standing there with a scowl and making very little eye contact, a white man who is possibly interested is not going to take the chance.  There are some black men who will come up to you and say something like "Girl you are fine.... let me put a smile on your face..... etc".  White men in general just do NOT approach when all the sighs are saying "Dont even try it".

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Letter: White Men are Catching a Clue…

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@BeauWinters "The stars who happily flaunt and support their black wives."


I like this line.  I would submit that it is all white men that like to happily flaunt and support their wives.  I love to flaunt and support my wonderful lady.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@oceanspray I think you are very correct.  Those of us that prefer black women will always be in a minority... but that is OK, plenty of us to go around.  The bigger issue IS that black women are not fitting that stereotype or role that everyone else has predetermined for them, and it makes those people uncomfortable for certain.  But why?  Because targets to bully are becoming fewer and fewer?  We are ALL stronger from everyone becoming stronger...  Yes, for many, their place in the world is dependent (in their eyes) on the ability to stand on the shoulders of others.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?

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@LilaLeslie "I walk away from any man who claims a woman won't let a man be a man. "


Interestingly.... I dont want a woman that will "let me be a man".  I want a partner...

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Three men who say they are “good.” Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from.

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Extraordinary!!!!

3 weeks, 2 days ago on Best Ever Engagement Video from BB&W Fans, Jacob and Joy!

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Look... there is not necessarily wrong with a man finding the richness of your skin tone to be beautiful.  Not fetish.  Not jungle fantasy. Not any of that mess.  It is just something that some of us find attractive... alluring..... wonderful.  I marvel at Bella all the time.  It IS an asset, ladies.  Please dont automatically categorize any man who finds it to be beautiful.

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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@Christelyn  @bleemorrison "Hmmm...did this site advise you to exclusively date white men? Funny, I don't ever remember giving that kind of advice. In any case, I would advise you to not only reassess the men you interact with, but also reassess yourself."


Gee, and I always thought that this site advocated CHOICE.  Silly me.....  All I have ever heard is coming from Christelyn is advocationg CHOICE.  All that static in my hearing aid must be scrambling the message....

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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@MarthaLankford @bleemorrison " I don't see any problem with the word swirl...if it is a concern why are you here.....I smell a troll"


Me too.....

3 weeks, 5 days ago on Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets!

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Fantastic....

3 weeks, 5 days ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: Adornments

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One.couple.at.a.time!   Congrats to the happy couple...

4 weeks ago on Another Online Dating Success! Yes; They Met on AfroRomance.

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@WorldTravelingChic @Chicago404 " I just hope that the men who are good candidates for us to partner with are paying attention too! :)"


We are.....  granted, not enough of us yet... YET... but I do truly believe more and more white men are finally starting to pursue their interests that have been (for some of us) so long suppressed.

4 weeks ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

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@RhondaSpeights " I said Good Morning, he said nothing.  Not that Im surprised, because this happens often, but it is a reminder of how they feel about us. SMH!!!!!"


Really?  Dang... that is just wrong.  People cant even be polite?

4 weeks ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

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I posted this a couple of years ago and some of you may remember it... some may not.  Some of you are newer here.  But as it is particularly appropriate, I wanted to share it here,.


I am a white man.  I have never been pulled over and had my plates or ID run because of the color of my skin.  I have never been stared at or given a double-take in a store because of the color of my skin.  I have never had anyone call 911 or had the Neighborhood Watch guy chase me down because I am suspicious walking around in a hoodie.  I have talked to all my students (I teach in an urban high school) about these things and they have had some of these experiences.  OK, I am an educated man so I understand, really, I do.  Sucks to be you but I know what you must be feeling…. dont get upset… just go with it.  It is NOT that big of a deal.  You are just being overly sensitive.  I THOUGHT I understood.

Until….. recently…..
We had a professional development event at a venue with really tight parking so we met at a local mall parking lot to leave a couple of cars and share rides.  Typical suburban mall parking lot.  We got back and a colleague and I wanted to finish a discussion so we sat in the car for a short bit to talk.  Dressed professionally, minding our own business, a white male and a black female… both educators.

Suddenly a local police car pulls in front of me and an officer gets out and comes over to my window (Interestingly, a short white female cop) and she none-too-politely  “requests” our ID.  My colleague nonchalantly hands hers over as I am getting mine and say something stereotypical like “what is the problem, officer”?  I get a snarly “we have had some trouble around here lately. Do either of you have any warrants?” she asks.

I assume she means trouble much worse than DWB (Driving while black).  I am sure that she means something really heinous like PWWWBWIC (Parked while white with black woman in car).  And, wow, I am GUILTY of that.  So we get our ID back and the cop walks away.  I am pissed and my colleague is calm like she has been through all of it before.  She says “Welcome to my world”.  The whole experience was one of the most profound I have ever had.  Oh, yes, I THOUGHT I understood.  Educated man.

I get it.  People were just being overly sensitive.  And yet…. until I was the one handing over my ID for pretty much no reason at all other than either the color of my skin or that of my colleague….. I guess I did NOT understand.  I do now.  Parked while white with black woman in car.  If I am alone in that car or sitting with a white colleague, does that cop come ask for our ID?

1 month ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

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@LanieceMilan " Yes, it is because you're black. Most white guys enjoy the experience or desire the opportunity of being intimate with a black woman. "


I respectfully disagree..... you are wrong here...

1 month, 1 week ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

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Two things that I would suggest to keep in mind.  One, there are good and bad in every color, creed, geographical location.... etc.

Two, there is totally nothing wrong with having - and following preferences.  When I started dating a few years ago, and my preference was for black women and the wonderful qualities that they (in general) bring to the table.... I sought a relationship among women in that group.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

1 month, 1 week ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”

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@MixedUpInVegas @Harold13 "Harold, where do you live?"


Oh.. I just saw... Tennessee.  I have some kin there, but they are all hitched.  Try the "May I politely wish you a good evening" line to see if you get an initial response....

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@MixedUpInVegas @Harold13 "Would someone please go out with Harold??  He seems like a perfectly presentable man who wants and needs a good woman.  I hate to see a perfectly good prospect go to waste."


Bella has a sister who is single.....  Harold, where do you live?

1 month, 1 week ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@Harold13 @EarthJeff Excited...  Honored that the sweetest most adorable woman in the world is going to be my wife...

1 month, 1 week ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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There are bikes in these pictures?

1 month, 1 week ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: Babes, Bikes and Bliss

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@Harold13 And besides... i am a teacher.  Teachers steal stuff from each other all the time and justify it as "There is no sense in re-inventing the wheel..."

1 month, 1 week ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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