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I posted this a couple of years ago and some of you may remember it... some may not.  Some of you are newer here.  But as it is particularly appropriate, I wanted to share it here,.


I am a white man.  I have never been pulled over and had my plates or ID run because of the color of my skin.  I have never been stared at or given a double-take in a store because of the color of my skin.  I have never had anyone call 911 or had the Neighborhood Watch guy chase me down because I am suspicious walking around in a hoodie.  I have talked to all my students (I teach in an urban high school) about these things and they have had some of these experiences.  OK, I am an educated man so I understand, really, I do.  Sucks to be you but I know what you must be feeling…. dont get upset… just go with it.  It is NOT that big of a deal.  You are just being overly sensitive.  I THOUGHT I understood.

Until….. recently…..
We had a professional development event at a venue with really tight parking so we met at a local mall parking lot to leave a couple of cars and share rides.  Typical suburban mall parking lot.  We got back and a colleague and I wanted to finish a discussion so we sat in the car for a short bit to talk.  Dressed professionally, minding our own business, a white male and a black female… both educators.

Suddenly a local police car pulls in front of me and an officer gets out and comes over to my window (Interestingly, a short white female cop) and she none-too-politely  “requests” our ID.  My colleague nonchalantly hands hers over as I am getting mine and say something stereotypical like “what is the problem, officer”?  I get a snarly “we have had some trouble around here lately. Do either of you have any warrants?” she asks.

I assume she means trouble much worse than DWB (Driving while black).  I am sure that she means something really heinous like PWWWBWIC (Parked while white with black woman in car).  And, wow, I am GUILTY of that.  So we get our ID back and the cop walks away.  I am pissed and my colleague is calm like she has been through all of it before.  She says “Welcome to my world”.  The whole experience was one of the most profound I have ever had.  Oh, yes, I THOUGHT I understood.  Educated man.

I get it.  People were just being overly sensitive.  And yet…. until I was the one handing over my ID for pretty much no reason at all other than either the color of my skin or that of my colleague….. I guess I did NOT understand.  I do now.  Parked while white with black woman in car.  If I am alone in that car or sitting with a white colleague, does that cop come ask for our ID?

1 week ago on Celebrity Interracial Couple, Daniele Watts and Partner Detained by L.A. Police Who Mistook Her for Hoe and Her “John”

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@LanieceMilan " Yes, it is because you're black. Most white guys enjoy the experience or desire the opportunity of being intimate with a black woman. "


I respectfully disagree..... you are wrong here...

1 week, 2 days ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.

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Two things that I would suggest to keep in mind.  One, there are good and bad in every color, creed, geographical location.... etc.

Two, there is totally nothing wrong with having - and following preferences.  When I started dating a few years ago, and my preference was for black women and the wonderful qualities that they (in general) bring to the table.... I sought a relationship among women in that group.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

1 week, 3 days ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”

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@MixedUpInVegas @Harold13 "Harold, where do you live?"


Oh.. I just saw... Tennessee.  I have some kin there, but they are all hitched.  Try the "May I politely wish you a good evening" line to see if you get an initial response....

1 week, 4 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@MixedUpInVegas @Harold13 "Would someone please go out with Harold??  He seems like a perfectly presentable man who wants and needs a good woman.  I hate to see a perfectly good prospect go to waste."


Bella has a sister who is single.....  Harold, where do you live?

1 week, 4 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@Harold13 @EarthJeff Excited...  Honored that the sweetest most adorable woman in the world is going to be my wife...

1 week, 5 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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There are bikes in these pictures?

1 week, 5 days ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: Babes, Bikes and Bliss

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@Harold13 And besides... i am a teacher.  Teachers steal stuff from each other all the time and justify it as "There is no sense in re-inventing the wheel..."

1 week, 5 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Harold13 ""May I politely wish you a good evening?" I may have to borrow that line. If that is okay with you EarthJeff. "


Certainly.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery....

1 week, 5 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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Oooohhhhh YEAH!!  One happy couple at a time... changing the world.  So excited for them.  Love Rocks.  Much happiness to them forever.

1 week, 6 days ago on Video: You Tubers, Shelly and Michael Tie the Knot!

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@Chicago404 " Just look how freaking happy and gorgeous they look! "

Thank you.  We are both happy and gorgeous together....  I love the way we look together.

1 week, 6 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@itsgoodtobeme "We don't expect to be taken care of and treated like queens while giving nothing to our men in return..which leads me to reciprocity. If our men treat us like queens, we treat them like kings. "


I LOVE this point that you make here.  When both sides are more interested in that reciprocity.... Treating our mate special and getting that in return... It just works.  And I do believe that in this demographic pairing, we most often this happen.

1 week, 6 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@Browncow " I'll be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month."


Awesome!  Congrats

1 week, 6 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@realblueblood "Earth Jeff, you seem like the kind of guy who will love and adore this woman faithfully:)."


Oh, I am for sure.... How could I not?  She.is.incredible.

1 week, 6 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Browncow Not late... you are good.  Thanks much.  I am sure we will end up posting wedding photos.

1 week, 6 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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I do believe a part of this is because these couples have to "Grow thicker skin" to successfully weather the increased pressures and challenges of being together.  Potentially disapproving family and friends.  "The Look" that we all get publicly.  The subtle comments from others in public.  Fighting the stereotypes of fetishism and others.  WM/BW couples deal with it all and almost have to have a bit of a "Screw You" attitude to the world and haters.  And that fortitude results in a stronger union between them.  That RESOLVE suits them well in their marriage.

Too, I find black women to be more loving and loyal.  They have - as a group - been the most bullied and maligned.  When they find someone that is willing to love them completely, they will make it work though all the trials and tribulations of a marriage.  Or maybe I am just full of pucky....

1 week, 6 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@Driving Miss Britt It is funny you say that.  The black and white pic is totally natural.  The photographer said to get in a normal and natural position for us.  Bella always jokes how that is Her Spot when she sits like that.  We almost always watch TV every night on the couch in exactly that position.

1 week, 6 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@LaShonda Harris Thanks...  She is a sweetheart and I love her dearly.  I have been VERY blessed.  I dont have to tell you how special she is.  Yeah, getting her to take the pictures took just a bit of nudging... lol   

By the way.... I didnt lie... the family DOES outnumber the population of Mississippi....  But I am quickly falling for y'all as well.  And as I have publicly put out there... I have felt COMPLETELY accepted by the family.

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@tracyreneejones "We're all gonna be so happy together (don't act like we and the rest of the 500K board won't be wanting invitations, pictures and space at the groom's table.... I can help with that if you need but yes.) We/me expect to dance at your wedding!"


Well the potential BB&W Bash in Vegas Chris referred to on the group Facebook page... will be timed.... to coincide within a day or two of the festivities...  or at least I do believe that is in the planning.

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@ChuckKinsey Without sounding like Hannah Montana... there really is someone for everyone

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@cjdimplez Thanks.  I admit I am a sucker for a sweet story myself

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@oekmama Thank you.  We are blessed, that is for sure

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Lili2009 "PS: Nice job on the ring, dude"


Thanks.  When I got to see the pictures before she did, she was texting me "Is my ring blinging?"...  lol

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@KingsDaughter Thanks much.  I have had trials and tribulations as we all have, but I have been blessed

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@blackpanthershay Thanks much... we are very happy

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@FriendsofJay Thanks... and you are too funny

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Brenda55 "Congrats Jeff.  Looking forward to seeing you and Toni tie the knot."


It is going to be awesome... my lovely bride is going to be beautiful.

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Nadezhdanoir Thanks.  I am looking forward to it

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Maxine yes... plus or minus 10 from my age is about right.  Beautiful women and sweet women are beautiful and/or sweet at any age.  I admit... I do like that Bella is 6 years younger than I am and looks at least 6 years younger than her age.  Ego time for me in that when I am with her... I look SO much better....

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@SweetGardenia Thank you so much.  My favorite part of our story is... if we can find each other, then everyone has a good shot at finding someone for them.

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@Brenda55 "SirLoin was going to wear his kilt but thought better of it when he heard the date was in July. Wool and that kind of heat do not play well together. "


Oh... the kilt would be SO SWAG.....  heck, we will be in air conditioning...

2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!

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@SweetGardenia @dani-BBW @bellechose @Christelyn  @FriendsofJay "I thought I was looking pretty cute at the time!  ANY white guy can join the conversation and answer my question...@FriendsofJay, SavageTango, SirLoin, Harold13."


Even though you didnt invite ME to respond (   :(   ), I will anyway..... lol.....  Yes, he probably had some level of interest, was trying to get his nerve up for what to say, and wimped out because he didnt come up with anything or was afraid of what he did say would sound lame.  Or maybe not....

2 weeks, 2 days ago on And We Wonder Why More Non-Black Men Don’t Approach Us?

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One yes vote for interacialdatingcentral.com.   It is where my lovely Bella found me!  If they do commercials, I want to do one for them with her.....

2 weeks, 2 days ago on In Case You Missed It: BB&W Live Discussion on the High’s and Low’s of Online Dating

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I do have to say... I am very thankful that I have been so comfortably accepted by everyone I have met in Bella's family.  She has a HUGE family, and not one "Weird feeling" moment for me at all.  I know that is it NOT that way for everyone...

2 weeks, 3 days ago on And We Wonder Why More Non-Black Men Don’t Approach Us?

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@tonyrog @EarthJeff Me too.  Gladys is my favorite.  Midnight train to Georgia is still the best ever.  I can sing the song either taking the part of the Pips, or her part.  She can rather live in my world than live without me in hers....  She looks incredible.  70?   mmmmmmm

2 weeks, 4 days ago on SirLoinsBabe Wenesday: For Mature Audences only.

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@docwatson223 Hop in my pickup baby and lets go out in the cornfield.....

2 weeks, 5 days ago on LMAO! New Video, “If Black Women Said What White Men Say”

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@WorldTravelingChic That was funny as heck too.....

2 weeks, 5 days ago on LMAO! New Video, “If Black Women Said What White Men Say”

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So what is the equivalent to "Jungle Booty"?????  

2 weeks, 5 days ago on LMAO! New Video, “If Black Women Said What White Men Say”

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"Prairie Fever"....... LOLOLOL.  Love it....  Yeahhhhhhh baby.....

2 weeks, 5 days ago on LMAO! New Video, “If Black Women Said What White Men Say”

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How are you always missing my favorites?  Geez.  Every single one of my students knew who this was, by the way.  Sure doesnt look like she was born in 1944,


2 weeks, 5 days ago on SirLoinsBabe Wenesday: For Mature Audences only.

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Why the senseless violence?  Just sickening....

2 weeks, 6 days ago on DBRs Abound – A True Murder In The First

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@Heidi49 Good for you, truly.  Your son sounds like a wonderful man.... that is awesome.  Your daughter isnt going to go wrong either with that plan.  How old is she?

3 weeks ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?

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@Chicago404 That is a sad story.  As a man (no color qualifier needed... ) I love to dote on my lady.....  make her feel special.... just let her KNOW how I love her even without saying it (though I probable say it ten times  a day at least)

3 weeks ago on How Yours Truly Played Cupid with New Power Couple, Film Maker Chris Silber and Dr. Misee Harris

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Congrats and much happiness to the wonderful couple....  

3 weeks, 3 days ago on How Yours Truly Played Cupid with New Power Couple, Film Maker Chris Silber and Dr. Misee Harris

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