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@trinigirl1 @zimekcyn "Had some idiot try to tell me that it's in the DNA memory of the 'black race' that we'd been enslaved. "


The DNA memory????  The Biology teacher in me weeps.....  Oh... DISCLAIMER.... I dont mean to offend other Biology teachers....

Extra Credit for anyone that can tell us what DNA stands for....

3 days, 13 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@Brenda55 (in my best whining voice, which is pretty good bc I work with teenagers all day).... "yes, but I am OFFENDED.....A comment was made about black women and I might have all the necessary operations to become a black woman some day and that statement that was said, well, it doesnt resemble me at ALL"....

3 days, 15 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@Brenda55 "Dude, we knew that but thanks for spreading the word."


I know, right?  That is perhaps the best part of these males standing on an electronic soapbox and railing on and on... they just spread the word.  And show how really silly they sound.  It just fuels the enlightenment.... I love it.

4 days, 11 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@SweetGardenia I just dont see that as submission.  I just see that as a loving and caring relationship.  Now do both sides in a relationship have things that they compromise on?  Sure.  But I dont see that as submission.  It is a mutual sharing.  Not giving in to the will of the other.  Oh sure, some things, the compromise is indeed pretty much rolling with one's request and not necessarily finding something in the middle.  I call these "Yes, Maam" things.  An example.  She told me that I need to get a haircut by the end of the week.  I am the world's biggest cheapskate about some things, like having to pay to get my hair cut every 6 friggin weeks.  But she told me to get one this week (My hair is a mess right now) because we are going out this weekend.  "Yes, Maam".....  She made the request based on a valid reason and it is silly for me to get all bent out of shape like I am submitting to her.  Compromise.  If we werent going out this weekend maybe I could have weaseled another week out of looking like Doc Brown in back to the Future.  I teach high school, nobody cares what I look like anyway...

4 days, 12 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@trinigirl1 That sounds exactly like how our day goes too.  Well, except for the coffee.... We always pop a quick text when we get to work just so we know each other made it OK, and a check in at lunch as well.  Isnt that how every loving relationship should go?  Shouldnt you and your mate always have that connection?

4 days, 12 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@ZenMaster65 " So to the younger generation of guys that might be lurking here, try being a gentleman and you will find especially BW will love you in spades."


that is one point I often like to make when I discuss the qualities that I love about black women.  If you give her your heart and do right by her, she is yours FOREVER.  They tend to be protective and loyal as a lioness.... When you earn and deserve the love of a black woman, you will find a real depth in that love.  Black women tend to love hard and deep.  And completely.  AS LONG AS you are worthy of it.

4 days, 12 hours ago on Epic Responses to Dumb A** Video Claiming Black Women are More Submissive to White Men

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@ToriSpeaks007 ""For the color, I thought girls liked pink !!!" Funny lol!!!! "  When IT is down there, can you see what color it is anyway????  Just asking...

5 days, 7 hours ago on Continued Victory…Our Voice is Being Heard Worldwide!

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@socialbutterfly "Thanks to Christelyn, BW & non-black men are realizing their romantic potential."


I discovered this site around the same time that I realized and started to pursue my preferences.  I honestly dont know if I would have continued to do so without the education and support I got from this site.  I like to think I contribute a lot, but I get more out of this site than I give... this community has been AMAZING.

5 days, 7 hours ago on Continued Victory…Our Voice is Being Heard Worldwide!

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@phillychick ". It is like they want to believe that black women are undesirable."


And one of the sad parts it.... black women are VERY desirable.  Because I am not a black man, I guess I dont get it....

6 days, 9 hours ago on “70’s Baby for Life” Breaks It Down About Powerless Males Who Bully Black Women

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Very well written, well said.....

6 days, 9 hours ago on “70’s Baby for Life” Breaks It Down About Powerless Males Who Bully Black Women

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@lili2009 "OMG I love bw/wm IR so much! I'm hopeless."


Me too.  I always, always give the nice knowing smile when I see a couple out and around in the world.  More and more every day.  Just look SO DAMN GOOD together.  so different and yet... so much the same....

1 week, 4 days ago on Azealia Banks’ New Boo is HAAAWWWRRRRTTT!!!

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@SweetGardenia @EarthJeff @Michaela Auguste Somehow I suspect your man will want to get right to the main course...

1 week, 4 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@SweetGardenia @Michaela Auguste " I might have to cook a meal for my future husband wearing nothing but a full apron and some heels. "


Apron optional.....  ;)

1 week, 5 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@Brenda55 @Savannahpostnew1 For all Brenda's reasons above, I like when some of the trolls are allowed in the door.  Plus there is an element of entertainment here because some of these trolls scoot in here expecting to bully black women like they have been allowed to do for so long, and they immediately (probably within the first 10 minutes after they post... Brenda is right about EVERY member of the community stepping up) get their ass handed to them.  And they stick they stick their "tail" - so to speak - between their legs.  Then the WM of this community challenge them too... and they run....  

1 week, 5 days ago on Yes; Black Men Get Hate For Dating Interracially, Too. But Here’s the Difference.

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@trinigirl1 Kissing pics are my favorite....  When Toni and I had the photo shoot for our engagement pics, the photographer commented "you two kiss a lot",

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@mzsunshine @EarthJeff Thank you.  I love to share.  My Toni is just so beautiful... sweet smile... sparkling eyes...  I just cant help sharing her or our incredible love and happiness with the world...

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@caligirl94117 "This is the most impressive thread ever. For the BW who are lurking or doubting yourselves, please take courage in the proof of WM/BW love that this thread provides. Real people. Real lives. Real loves. It exists."


This very well may be the best thread we have ever had in the community here.  A wonderful way for all of us to come together.  To show the wonder of real people loving each other.  Every hater and troll... here we are. This is us.  We exist.  Our numbers are growing and it is obvious for all the world to see.  For those that are unsure, keep hearing all the BS that we shouldnt be together.... a picture is worth a thousand words.  And we have lots of them.  Caligirl is right... here is proof.  To those afraid to try for fear of rejection.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Climb out on that limb and follow your heart.  Guess what?  Sometimes you will be shoved off that limb and fall.  GET YOUR BUTT BACK UP.  This is what love and happiness look like.  But... there is a cost..... and you have to pay it.  You have to take some smacks to find it.  You will have to take some of life's smacks to keep it.  But there is no more incredible thing in life than to have someone to love, and be loved by.  To all those in the community sharing here... you ARE my brothers and sisters.  No pun intended.  We are all one family.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@lili2009 @Brenda55 @EarthJeff I completely agree with you.  Everyone together just enjoying each other's company... enjoying themselves... celebrating something that they ALL have a connection to.  It just makes you wonder why we cant ALWAYS put differences and racial issues aside all the time ... I know I always look around the room and get the thought that "this is how the world should.... could... be all the time".  Differences?  Hell, we really are all the same.  Those event PROVE it.  No black, no white, no red, no yellow, no purple, no pink polka dots.  Just Us.  Just We,  Just People.  That is exactly how the world should be all the time.  No, we will never completely get there and Yes, we keep getting closer and closer every day.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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@Brenda55 @EarthJeff We cant wait... coming so fast.  

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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OK, y'all have seen us before, but ....

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Open Thread: White guys and why we dig them.

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According to mary jane, we are ALL angry black women. My name is Jeff, and i am an angry black woman too...

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Yes; Black Men Get Hate For Dating Interracially, Too. But Here’s the Difference.

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Welcome! This is a wonderful community

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Yes; Black Men Get Hate For Dating Interracially, Too. But Here’s the Difference.

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Oooooh, HV, the mods are appropriately going to let you take the whoopin you are asking for.... you are free to give your opinion in here, just as others are free to give theirs ... might as well get ready. Just remember you CHOSE to walk into the hot kitchen....

2 weeks, 3 days ago on Yes; Black Men Get Hate For Dating Interracially, Too. But Here’s the Difference.

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Awesome!!!!! Much congrats to the happy couple.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Fan Bought “Swirling” Started a Journey that Ends with an Engagement!

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@zimekcyn @EarthJeff " "he only wants me for some jungle booty"  Okkk,  I don't know, what exactly is jungle booty??  "


Have you really never heard that phrase before?  It is the kind of, well, wanting the black woman for a fetish thing.  Kind of a mix between the fetish/exotic/wild sex thing mixed with, um, the whole bed wench thing.  Just for sex, but not, ah, normal sex but, um, wild sex since EVERYONE knows black women put out so much better than white women.....   OK?  Dang, I am sweating trying to explain that like my 9th graders just asked me.  And I am NOT going to relate the story of my 9th grade little stud-boy who just HAD to give me all the unsolicited advice I could handle about "How to please a Sista sexually"....  9th grader.... 

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Letter Writer Explains Non-Black Male Hesitancy in Approaching Black Women

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@zimekcyn @EarthJeff " "he only wants me for some jungle booty"  Okkk,  I don't know, what exactly is jungle booty??  "


Geez.... PLEASE dont make me explain it..... I am going to blush....  Havent been shy about stuff until now, but.... ahhhhhhh...

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Letter Writer Explains Non-Black Male Hesitancy in Approaching Black Women

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I dont know if we need a seperate section. Some posts sre about one thing that appeals to some, others to others and folks pick and choose what they read.

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Letter Writer Explains Non-Black Male Hesitancy in Approaching Black Women

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"For many non-black guys, the very problem is that we have picked up on “the code.”  And what we’ve learned is that black women don’t like non-black men.  That’s why so many of us are fascinated by your site.  It’s mind-blowing to us to see so many black women expressing interest in white (and other) men.  In my formative years, I never even imagined that black women looked at white men as anything other than vague enemies."


OK, this is one of those that I want to answer BEFORE I read other comments.  So... Jeff V... I hear you... I have been there... Had some of the same feelings.  Even understand that code you speak of.  but... guess what?  Good news.... That code is not only very nearly dead, but most of the black women that I have come across dont believe in it, dont live it, heard it and after much thought came to the realization of.... "Screw that.  I can pursue happiness no matter what color it comes wrapped in.  I dont have to listen to those that tell me that I cant be with a white man, that his relatives so many generations ago was Massa, that he only wants me for some jungle booty, that he wont treat me right, that Blah Blah Blah." Think about this.  While the world is changing slowly, it IS changing.  Look around at the mix of couples around you now.  The families. What media is telling us.  You are right, it IS mind-blowing to see so many incredible black women making the choice to choose character over color which means sometimes the character is packaged differently.  Why are they doing this?  That damn old code is fading fast and it nearly dead.  It is nearly SO untrue now that it is laughable.  These wonderful, intelligent, thoughtful ladies are no longer listening to those that spout that baloney.  So what do you need to do to approach a lady?  Since that code is nearly dead, first, forget all about it.  She is a WOMAN, no color qualifier needed.  The biggest obstacle, really, is in your own head.  I know, it was in mine too.  But I came to the realization that maybe that stupid code was something that I didnt want to pay any attention to.  I reached out.  I found some very supportive resources like this site.  And now I marvel every day at the beautiful woman that is my mate and is soon to be my wife.  Honestly, it starts in your head.

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Letter Writer Explains Non-Black Male Hesitancy in Approaching Black Women

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These cases have nothing to do with the mother being black.  There are frighteningly damaged people in all sizes, shapes and colors.

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Breaking Point? What’s Up with All These Stories of Black Women Killing Their Children?!

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OK, somehow I think that I may take some heat on this one.  Racism is HORRIBLE.  And those of us that do not have to experience it as a part of our lives do not have the same level of understanding.  Got that.  But.... BECAUSE it IS horrible, false claims of racism are horrible as well.  Using racism as an excuse where it is NOT happening is just as wrong.  It does de-value those legitimate cases that do need to be addressed.  False claims of racism help make the real ones get shrugged off.  Not unlike crimes are bad, and false claims of being victimized are just as bad for this same reason.  Crying wolf is never OK....  Is he young and did he lie to try and get out of trouble?  Yes.  But no, he does not deserve a pass on this.  He is in college.  He is a young adult.  He faces consequences for his actions as we all do.  He and his generation are going to be leaders.  How do we fix that which needs to be fixed?  With lies?  We need to start with HONESTY.  I am as offended by his false claim as I am at every real incidence of profiling.  Wrong, wrong, wrong....

3 weeks, 5 days ago on False Claims of Racial Profiling Like Son of Taraji P. Henson and Daniele Watts Make It Hard For the Rest of Us.

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Didnt mean for the pic to be so big....  And yes, he looks very much like a young EarthJeff.  Actually he and I are a LOT alike.  Anyway, enough of my shameless plug.... I need Christelyn to now tell Maxi that this is going to be her hangout pal in Vegas.....????

4 weeks, 1 day ago on QOTW: Featuring ‘Maxi Me,’ Discussing High School Love and Racial Preferences

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Maxi needs to meet this guy.....  Just meet.  Just talk.  People interacting, discussing common interests, common issues....  He is a nice guy.  I have his email address if Maxi wants it Christelyn....  We all learn so much from each other.  Just my two cents.


4 weeks, 1 day ago on QOTW: Featuring ‘Maxi Me,’ Discussing High School Love and Racial Preferences

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@Christelyn  @dani-BBW "but high school is a strange ecosystem all it's own."


Oh, yes... the lady speaketh the truth...

4 weeks, 1 day ago on QOTW: Featuring ‘Maxi Me,’ Discussing High School Love and Racial Preferences

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Wow..... they were great. And i still think Maxi needs to meet my son... he will be in Vegas.... wants to meet her.... just saying....

1 month ago on QOTW: Featuring ‘Maxi Me,’ Discussing High School Love and Racial Preferences

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@your epiphany " Taraji Henson does carry the show and it boggles my mind why her co star thinks including the N word would do the show any good."


She does.  And TH is off his rocker about that....

1 month ago on Once Again, Main Stream Media Awards Black Dysfunction, and You LOVE It!!

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@mim86 Well put, Mim.... All of the characters are anything BUT stupid except for P.  Really, they are all quite fascinating....

1 month ago on Once Again, Main Stream Media Awards Black Dysfunction, and You LOVE It!!

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@MsEva "I think Empire is a modern day hip hop version of Game of Thrones with a side of Dynasty thrown in.  Dysfunction sells which is why Dallas and Dynasty were hit shows."


Very much so....

1 month ago on Once Again, Main Stream Media Awards Black Dysfunction, and You LOVE It!!

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@dani-BBW @ole'skool "Cookie comes from the hood and that has informed her mannerisms, speech, approach to solving problems, etc. But as she encounters obstacles, as a person who is also highly intelligent, she realizes that she needs different approaches to get things done and achieve her primary goals, which are having good relationships with her three sons and seeing them prosper. These are noble, normal, non ghetto goals 90% of human beings can relate to. Which is why Cookie resonates with audiences."


And not just all audiences... while I do not proclaim to speak for all white men, I love Cookie and for those very reasons.  She makes that show....  So yeah, I do watch - and love - Empire.  I do like that they try to take on quite a few issues.  Granted, maybe too many.  but they certainly dont shy away from it.  A bit of the stereotypical ratchetry I could do without.  But in some ways that hood mentality are key elements in the evolution of some of the characters.  Especially Cookie.


OK.... Yes... i admit..... I happen to have the Hots for Cookie too......  ;)

1 month ago on Once Again, Main Stream Media Awards Black Dysfunction, and You LOVE It!!

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@Brenda55 Keith should have leaned over and given you a kiss.....

1 month ago on Advertisers Take Notice at Rise in Multicultural Families

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Companies speak with their checkbook.  And they absolutely demand the best bang for their buck. 

1 month ago on Advertisers Take Notice at Rise in Multicultural Families

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@zipporah " i'm also noticing some silly WM acting like some HOTEP type BM saying this is 'breeding out the race' "


Sheeeeeiiiiiitttt.  In three more generations we are all going to look the same and be the same race anyway.  We will be able to go back to just one self check box for race.....

1 month ago on Advertisers Take Notice at Rise in Multicultural Families

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@Brenda55 Awesome!  I love the shocked looks.  I have had the whole spectrum.  In fact, there were at least TWO occasions when I am sure the person looking (white women in both cases) actually peed her pants.  One was me kissing my lady ("did that white man ACTUALLY KISS a BLACK woman") and the other with two of our children (one from each.. one black, one white... same age) that we openly referred to as "our Twins".


1 month ago on Advertisers Take Notice at Rise in Multicultural Families

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@LadyEWO Thanks so much!  Toni is my sweetheart!  It would be great if you do get to come help us celebrate our big day......

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Brenda55 @Michael Miles "This is one of the keys to making an IRR work.  Take this to the bank."


Agreed.  TALK to each other.  If the IRR relationship is to work, you can not be fearful of talking about uncomfortable subjects.  You can not let misconceptions just lay there.  Or something you misheard.  Have to talk.  It takes a lot of work to thrive in a partnership with extra differences built in.  The good part, though, is that you both are stronger and much more enriched for it.  

1 month, 1 week ago on QOTW: “Should I Continue Dating Someone Who Might Be Racist?”

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I have to admit .... I got a weird vibe from him...

1 month, 2 weeks ago on On Vetting: Beware of “I Can’t Find a Black Woman!” Men. They’re Full of It.

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OK.... I have to agree that it is a red flag when a white man says that he is interested in black women BUT cant find one.  I have found that it is very easy to find a quality black woman ... wonderful, educated, sincere, caring, loving....just because there are quite a few of them out there just looking for (and deserving) those same qualities in a man.  Fair or unfair, the dating balance IS in the favor of white men.  Because it it easy for a white man and those odds are in his favor, yes, if he says he cant find one then calling bullshit is justified.  I found  a wonderful and loving woman very easily and quickly.  Yes, I feel that I have been blessed.  But it is NOT hard to find someone.  A couple of dating sites, be honest and upfront with any women you meet is all it takes.  Especially "targeted" sites of similar interests like IDC.  Match - though pricey  - was pretty good too.  Now... is it harder for a white man to meet a quality black woman out in the world... not online... yes it is harder.  But it it harder for any demographics, equally.  At the end of the day, again, there are many quality black women out there.  Guys... just be sincere and honest.  Come right or dont come at all.

1 month, 2 weeks ago on On Vetting: Beware of “I Can’t Find a Black Woman!” Men. They’re Full of It.

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What a sweet story..... Wishing you much happiness.  Such a cute couple.

1 month, 3 weeks ago on Andrew and Brooke – A “Perfect For Us” Relationship

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@StarStroy "but out of every other group of women on earth, who's going to tell you "what it is" as soon as it needs to be said? Exactly!" 


Another of the endearing qualities that I do so love about BW.  Instead of those "be mad for three days and make the man guess why" games that WW tend to play.


1 month, 4 weeks ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women

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