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@onmywayup @Cami2210 "Random, but I never understood whether or not a co-wash was actually supposed to wash your hair the way a shampoo was. I also call it a "conditioning rinse" as well."


Well, since I started my journey as a REALLY naive white guy, I knew neither "Co-wash" or Deep Conditioning.  Now, though.... I got this terminology down....  even have helped my lady with both practices....  Really do learn a lot in this community....

1 day, 16 hours ago on Zara: “I Don’t Swirl, I Date.”

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@ZaraChiron @onmywayup @Christelyn "The Love energy on this site is amazing. It's something I'm looking to learn from as a cultivate my on-line presence. Christelyn did something great to have attracted a community of such quality and positive people. (taking notes)"


It is, it really is.  this community is a wonderful place where we can all share and "chime in" and know that it will be valued, even by those that may not agree.  Intelligent discourse is awesome.  Oh, there are rules about coming correct - as there should be - and Chris and the mods work very hard to keep this community the fantastic place that it is.  I know I have learned so much, hope that others got value from my own contributions, and have received so much support from others here through my trials and tribulations.

1 day, 16 hours ago on Zara: “I Don’t Swirl, I Date.”

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@ZaraChiron @Brenda55

"Rich in diversity" is one of the reasons why it is wonderful to find and love and have a mate that is different from yourself... there IS a real Richness in diversity.  It is so sad that haters and racists just dont see that.  They think we all need to be alike.  No, what we REALLY need is to all be different.

1 day, 16 hours ago on Zara: “I Don’t Swirl, I Date.”

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@oekmama " but It has a positive sweet connotation/association, which is a good thing generally, plus it's cute, catchy and more family friendly,"


Yes!  I do like the term..... for these reasons....

1 day, 16 hours ago on Zara: “I Don’t Swirl, I Date.”

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@jpopforever28 "Differences are beautiful to me. What all humans have in common are that we are all different" 


I couldnt agree more.  And at the same time, differences make us uniquely different from others.  We all have our own contributions to bring to the table.  That makes us richer for who we are.  We are able to share and learn and grow through our differences.  I have always taught my kids - different isnt better or worse, it is just different.  It is just an opportunity to become more full, more understanding, more enlightened.  Differences are WONDERFUL.  Even though this isnt the ONLY reason I prefer an interracial relationship, that is part of it. 

1 day, 16 hours ago on Zara: “I Don’t Swirl, I Date.”

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@_Toni_ @Cami2210 "The good news is that as I said in my other comment, THESE MEN TELL ON THEMSELVES. They think every guy is as twisted as they are and that people in the wider world somehow think their behavior is normal."


AND... they do not realize that there is a growing number of men who are no longer going to allow women - especially black women - to be bullied....

2 days, 16 hours ago on For Those Who Think Insults Endear You…Think Again.

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@formeonly "Those guys who always say “I’m just playing/joking” whenever he does something and he sees you reacting to it in a negative way…"


Ok..... so... if you are playing/joking at being an A*hole, then guess what?  You ARE an A*hole.

2 days, 16 hours ago on For Those Who Think Insults Endear You…Think Again.

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@_Toni_ "What's especially interesting to me is that when these so-called "alpha males" are confronted by one or more of the male members of our site, their tone becomes more cordial, or they try to indirectly attack the women without challenging the man back. Or they say nothing."


I have noticed that too.. over my time here I have had a few of those idiots who are going off on all the women but as soon as I challenge him as to what HE is doing to help be part of the solution, he shuts right up.  Look, I am not going to allow women to be bullied anymore.... whether she is white, black, purple, or polka-dotted.  Or any others.  But these boys who like to bully sure to shrink and shrivel in certain places when called out on it by other men.  Pitiful cowards....

2 days, 16 hours ago on For Those Who Think Insults Endear You…Think Again.

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@Moonchild71 Thank you so very much!

4 days, 21 hours ago on Update! BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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Yes.... feel free to NOT want black women.  That means there are more for us that do.....

5 days, 13 hours ago on Video: Five Reasons Nobody Wants a Black Woman!

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@delaneb "but there are other real reasons Like: attitude, selfish, controling, tentcious, argumentative, etc ect.these are some of the reason black men particularly decide to date out of there race."


Cool... you are free to make whatever choice you want.  Just dont begrudge (or do I need to use a smaller word) anyone else to THEIR right to choose whatever they want.

5 days, 13 hours ago on Video: Five Reasons Nobody Wants a Black Woman!

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I think the younger generation is much more open to interracial dating.  My daughter (22) chooses not to date interracially but she does not see anything wrong with it.  My son (18) does like black girls (young women, sorry) and would date interracially.  In fact, his first girlfriend was black.

5 days, 16 hours ago on Ever Wonder What Millennials Think About Interracial Dating?

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@oekmama "There will soon be a joke going around, "how many IBMs does it take to write a relationship guide?"..."


It is impossible.... there arent any that understand the word "relationship"....

5 days, 19 hours ago on When IBM Nonsense Doesn’t Go Over Well with White America

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They are such a cute couple... who doesnt like a sweet, romantic story?  Heck, we all do....  I am SO happy for them.  And even though she kind of had a timeline plan, you NEVER KNOW when love may find you if you just keep your heart open to the possibility.

1 week, 2 days ago on Michael and Kemi – A BB&W Google+ Community Love Connection

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@BWC "You could trade that 15 feet of wool in for 15 feet of lace ;-)"


Awwwww... cant have him upstage the beautiful Bride...

1 week, 2 days ago on Update! BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@dani-BBW "We have a GREAT community here!"


Yes we do!

1 week, 4 days ago on Take That, Haters! BB&W ‘Circle of Support’ In Action with Wronged IR Couple

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@InuHadiya Yes.  LOVE IS LOVE.  And we are free to make whatever choices we want in a mate.  We are all free to have whatever preferences that we do.  This site has always been about CHOICE, and how it is OK to choose whatever you wish.

1 week, 4 days ago on Take That, Haters! BB&W ‘Circle of Support’ In Action with Wronged IR Couple

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Kevin Costner kissing on the beautiful black ladies again...... Nice.... 

Seriously, folks, I hope people go out and support this.  The more that movies showing IRR are successful, the more Hollywood will make them.

1 week, 4 days ago on ‘Black or White’: New Film Tackles White Grandparents Raising Biracial Grandchildren

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The way we are going to minimize haters is to educate them out, breed them out, and change what we show the look of "normal" to be so when they whine and moan they will look completely ignorant and idiotic.

1 week, 5 days ago on ‘Black or White’: New Film Tackles White Grandparents Raising Biracial Grandchildren

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I do totally agree about the eyes and the smile.

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Throwing Signs: Letting Him Know You’re Open and Interested

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@WorldTravelingChic @EarthJeff You are welcome.  So I have to admit... it is easy for me to be a hopeful romantic.  I am the guy who found love.... lost it when she was called to Heaven.... found love again.  As unbelievable as all that is.  How could I NOT be a hopeful romantic.  so, yes, I do believe everyone can find love.  and all that was AFTER 20 plus years in a horrible, cold, loveless, frigid marriage in which I gave up much of my life and any shot at a healthy relationship with a woman - all for the good of my kids.  I have only know the incredible love between someone and a mate for the last few years.

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Overcoming Ambivalence to Make Room for the Love You Want

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Great post.  Well written.  Very enjoyable.  Even if I am a hopeless romantic.  (HopeFUL romantic, maybe)?

2 weeks, 2 days ago on Overcoming Ambivalence to Make Room for the Love You Want

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Thanks..... i do think we are cute together too. We are always together.. holding hands.... chatting... sitting togather... caress on the arm or shoulder... when people see us together they just pick up on our love for each other. It is nice

2 weeks, 6 days ago on Reader Weighs In: Wife vs. ‘Wifey’

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The thing is..... marriage and committing yourself to loving and loyal mate with whom you will build a life together... walk that journey side by side.... is magical. Nothing better. My heart melts just thinking about my beloved toni being my wife....

3 weeks ago on Reader Weighs In: Wife vs. ‘Wifey’

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@lili2009 42 was FANTASTIC..... one of my favorite movies.... My favorite scene (though there were many) was when they are on the field in Cinncinnati.  The boy and his dad were talking about the boy's hero PeeWee Reese.  Then when Jackie comes out and the crowd and his father are yelling hateful things so he does too.  Then he gets that look on his face, making the connection as to what the heck he was doing.  And PeeWee goes over to Jackie and puts his arm around him and says "Some day we will all wear 42"....

3 weeks, 4 days ago on Civil Rights: Can We Focus Less on Marching and ‘The Struggle?’

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@Keioni @EarthJeff So on a much larger philosophical scale - what is the benefit of self hate?  What is to be gained?  What is the purpose of petty jealousy?

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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@Keioni @EarthJeff Ok, so I stand corrected and it happens within other communities as well but the question still remains ... Why?  If it isnt as simple as "LET IT GO" then I would challenge with the question, "Why"?  What is the point of Self-hate within ANY culture?

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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@Reaching_100 "Hopefully Lupita, Kerry, Viola, "


Oooohhhhh, Viola makes me shiver.....  How to Get Away with Murder is one of my shows.....  Annaliese Keating eyes....  Mmmmmm

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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@Brenda55 @beltainechild "Non-black men themselves say that they really do not classify black women according to skin shade. To them we are all black women. "


I know for myself, that is certainly true.

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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As far as preferences go, yes, we are free to have whatever preference we choose.... we like what we like... and that includes any features including - possibly - skin tone.  For me, though, I have no preferred skin tone, I just really think all tones are beautiful.

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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To most white people, "Black is black".  I totally agree with this statement.  I think most white people tend to think this way.  The colorism thing is a "Black community" issue.  Yet, any of us involved in an interracial relationship certainly need to have an understanding of this issue as it will affect our loved ones.  Our mates.  Our children.  Our families.  Such understanding will have to be a learning process since I really dont get colorism at all.  Yes, I do to the extent from back to the days of slavery and the lighter skinned folk (progeny from Master, perhaps?) were treated better (or maybe just not as harshly) and that could cause some resentment and jealousy.  I get that.  But.... LET IT GO.  It has been hundreds of years.  LET IT GO.  For the most part, the only ones treating lighter skinned black people are from within the black community itself.  As much as we have to stamp out racism, and hate... we have this hate within ones OWN race? Self hate??  REALLY?  And it seems like this is only an issue within the BC.  If you are white, you are either white or you are not.  It seems that is true among other races and that what shade you are does not matter.  Is this true (anyone know if tone is an issue among Asians, Native Americans, Hispanics, etc.)?  Just seems like there are more pressing issues to fret and worry about....

4 weeks ago on Special Guest: Interracial Dating and Colorism

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The chats are so much fun.  If you havent joined in yet, please make an effort to do so.  I know my Bella and I look forward to them.  Blogmistress Extraordinaire Christelyn keeps them moving along so we dont just stare at each other... Serious... good times...

4 weeks, 1 day ago on Hangout Roundup: Long Distance Relationships, Preferences, and Resolutions

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@New Guest "IMHO, when an individual or a group of people purposely go out of their way to dehumanize, attack, bash and discriminate against an entire group of people all the time,  because of their hue, they take on the behavior of a typical bully.  "


And I have said it once, I will say it again.... as a group white men are increasing growing intolerant of seeing black women bullied, and are (more and more) stepping up and speaking up when they see it happen.


"More WM/BW are bonding because they want to. Society is partly responsible for pushing them closer together, by forbidding them not to be."


Not only do I agree with this statement but I think the result of this is a STRONGER bond than many other pairings... very much why this demographic shows a lower divorce rate.  We are stronger in our relationships, and they last longer because of it.

1 month ago on Glad to See More Non-Black Men Seeing Through the Lies About Black Women.

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@New Guest " IRR between WM and BW are no longer taboo, despite society's efforts to keep them apart. They have tried, and failed miserably."


Yes they have and the evidence is more visible every day.  Just ask General Mills (Cheerios) and Swiffer, who spoke with their checkbook.  Who define in many ways what is and is not "American Society".....  We like baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet because we were told and shown through advertising that is what our society liked.  We see certainly relationships shown as perfectly normal on TV and media, and that is what we accept as normal.  Not there yet, but the big snowball rolling downhill is growing, and its birth as an avalanche is inevitable.

1 month ago on Glad to See More Non-Black Men Seeing Through the Lies About Black Women.

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And another important thing.... more and more, there are increasing numbers of us that will no longer allow black women to be bullied or treated as if they have any less value than anyone.  Period.

1 month ago on Glad to See More Non-Black Men Seeing Through the Lies About Black Women.

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@Ri74 @EarthJeff I know the area well.  couple of years ago I taught at Plymouth Ed Prep right there off Warren and Russell next to that beautiful church and right across from the Diggs, just across from the Fed Reserve and the Morgue.

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Lala88 It is for anyone..... already boo'ed up.... general.... maybe meet someone new.... fun time for all from this community to try and get to meet face to face.... anyone interested in helping us celebrate our special time....

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Geekette221B "The contrast is very sexy to me"


Me too.  I understand that - many of us probably do - because I also find the contrast between me and her to be very sexy.


"What can I say? I like what I like"


Yep.  Everyone needs to get that... we do truly like what we like.

1 month ago on On Justifying Preferences, and Evolving Preferences…

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@Ri74 @EarthJeff We are good... Yes, she has gone by "Bella" here in the community or also by Toni, which is her name.  We live in Ann Arbor....  So mostly raised here where?  Where do you live now?

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Ri74 It will be fun......  Didnt I see somewhere you are from Michigan too like we are?  Or am I imagining things?

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Brenda55 @FriendsofJay Maybe BB&W Bash 2016 can be in Philly.....  Or my Toni and I will make the trip East.  What time of year is the naked Bike ride again?  Wait... check that one.... I have trouble talking her into giving me a kiss in public...

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@amwjamierson Looking forward to it...

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Robin1 Thanks... we appreciate that....

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@MizzCinderella @EarthJeff Thank you so much

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@SirLoinDeBeef We wont let you die.. and you are going to be the most Swag dude at the wedding!  We definitely will have to get a pic with both of us and our beautiful ladies.....  Honestly, it my end up being my favorite pic of the entire wedding.

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@thecrazyartist Thanks so much

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Brenda55 @Crazibeautifulme "This is Brenda. As wonderful a gent as our Earth Jeff is I am not getting hitched to him. I am already married to SirLoindeBeef.  Jeff is marrying the incomparable Toni who we all look forward to meeting and celebrating her special day.. "


Well..... Brenda.... Toni... Keith.. myself.... Interchangeable combinations?  What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...  OK, maybe not... 

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Crazibeautifulme Welcome to the community, and thanks!



1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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@Browncow Oh yes, I am sure there will be some postings from the event.  Youtube video.... Hmmmmm... gottta work on my beloved Toni about that one,,,  Lets just say she is a reluctant celebrity....  lol

1 month ago on BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!!

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