I am a teacher, but then again, aren't we all in some manner or another? How do we change the world? One person, one lesson at a time.
@ole'skool Mmmmmmmm good point. REALLY good point.
3 days, 18 hours ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
Just wondering... what would the reaction be if he had instead of reacted by pulling out pepper spray and spray her instead of slapping her? Better? Worse? The same? While it may be a reach to call her shoe a "weapon", the fact of the matter is she assaulted him with a weapon.... And spraying her with pepper spray means he does NOT lay hands on her at all.... Hmmmmmm
3 days, 19 hours ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@divalocity "This is a result of children not being raised properly without any discipline in the home."
I totally agree. I do teach school. I do see it every day. I just have to look at a student for a few minutes and can give a fairly accurate profile of the home situation.
3 days, 20 hours ago on Black Female Aggressiveness at Epic Levels. Why?
@Cami2210 I agree with you to a large extent but it leads to this following question that MUST be asked..... "I carry myself like a lady and don't pick fights with men,".... so what in your opinion is a man to do when he is being physically attacked by a woman? I am not talking about being trashy and therefore "beating up trashy black women for being trashy". At what point does he have a right to defend himself? If a man is getting slapped, punched, and/or clawed, at what point does he have the right to slap her or push her away from him to fend off the attack? I am just asking.....
Just as the man needs to know he shouldnt hit a woman, the woman needs to know she can NOT just attack someone and think they just have to take it.
Look, I was raised that a man does not hit a woman. I raised my kids that way too. time to evaluate and perhaps adapt. I am going to teach my sons and daughters.... a man should never hit a woman UNLESS he is DEFENDING HIMSELF at which point he has every right to do so. Meaning I am teaching my daughters to not start anything that you are not willing to have finished. This stuff is a mess. Over the years I myself have been scratched, gouged, slapped and did nothing. Should that first line of defending yourself be to walk away? Should it have been mine? YES. But when that doesnt work... if the aggression continues.... he doesnt have to just take getting attacked. Was his slap appropriate? I believe yes.
I have to say, it has been a long time since anything we discussed here in this community has pissed me off as much as this.
1 week ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.
THIS.IS.APALLING. Scary beyond words. It would be horrible from one of our beloved (tongue in cheek) Hood Fellas that buy into this pervasive attitude (sorry for using big words but most of the trolls that come floating around will already be shaking their heads not understanding a word I am saying) but from a UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT? Are you kidding me? Cross Lincoln University off the list for any of my kids (black or white, I have both). ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME? Dude, you have an extremely respected position and are in a spot where you have the ability to affect real change and you are spouting this drivel? At a Co-ed institution no less? Those that are Blackistan's Finest (again tongue in cheek) that just dont know any better are ignorant and idiotic. This guy is a complete Jackass....
Happy you had a good time. Looks fabulous. I guess if that had happened to Bella, I might prefer that she tell me ON THE PLANE so I no longer had the chance to crank up a scene.
1 week ago on So…I Got Accosted In Cancun…
@Geekette221B @EmpressNK "However, I do make it my policy never to kiss and tell. ;)"
I am told sometimes that I tell too much..... LOL. then again, I dont tell HALF of the stuff Brenda tells...
1 week, 1 day ago on SirLoins’s Babe Wednesday: Mention the unmentionables
@MichelePaynter1 " I'm wondering where are those pics of sistas who are just every day BW? "
Honestly, my Bella looks just as beautiful and seductive in her night gowns. Not so sure she would let me post a pic, though, she is fairly private and already thinks I share too much business on the internet... ;)
@Brenda55 @A2_Bella Yeah,,,, she tends to lurk. I keep trying to get her out of that shell.... lol
1 week, 2 days ago on SirLoins’s Babe Wednesday: Mention the unmentionables
OK, so early on in our dating, I dont know how we got on the subject of sleepwear, and she mentioned that she sleeps in a gown. I freaked out because when I heard the word "gown" I pictured a flannel gown that goes from buttoned neck to the ankles. Ummmm, no, ah, access.... yes, I have discovered how wonderfully appealing and sexy a gown really can be. I even bought her one for sweetest day....
@Statuesque "What's funny about Viola Davis is that she looks better now that she did when she was younger. I find a lot of darker skin women actually look their best when they are late 30s to 50."
Ooooh... Viola Davis is HOT HOT HOT.... I Love watching Murder. She has those piercing laser eyes too.... While Kerry Washington is hot too... I like the end of Thurs night TV the best.
1 week, 4 days ago on Asset Maximizing: Black Women Have the ‘Ageless Advantage’
@BreannaNouveaux "Ageless skin. Curvy bodies. Gravity defying hair."
I love all three....
@SavageTango "This is such a minefield for us white guys. You tricky chicks, do you have ANY idea how difficult it is for us to estimate your age? Do you?"
Why do we need to?
" Our skin is an asset. And don’t think for one moment non-black men don’t consider this. They do. A lot."
Oh, yeah... it is.... And I am with the Hubster on that one. Is one of the things that we love about black women is that they age beautifully? Of course. I LOVE that Bella is younger than I am and looks younger still. Black girls from a fairly young age take care of their skin better... putting on lotion constantly.. being dry and ashy is more obvious on black skin so its get taken care of... and a lifetime of care and lotion will result - down the road - in aging better.
By the way... wow... Angela Bassett still looks awesome. My favorite example is still a 70 year old and looking beautiful Gladys Knight...
Walk away. "I am not sure if I want to date interracially and I need time to think about it" is a HUGE red flag. As we have all talked about on this site (quite a bit, actually) there are many challenges, trials, and tribulations to being in an IRR. It takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to live in this world and put up with some of these. You cant "kind of" be willing to face them. Most of us - maybe all of us - live in this world despite those challenges because the rewards of having a loving mate of any color far outweigh those negatives for us. But everyone has to make their own choice in this regard....
2 weeks ago on On Vetting: When a Guy Expresses Doubts About Interracial Dating…
Wow.... I dont understand either...
2 weeks, 5 days ago on It Should Be a SIN for Women Like This to be Dateless!!
@NYMan @EarthJeff Anything tastes good if you add enough sugar, chocolate, or cheese. You could take a piece of melted plastic and make it taste good by adding enough of one of those three. Dryer lint in a cheese quesadilla = yummy.
3 weeks ago on Is Pumpkin Pie for White People?
@MerrieHare "I would just like some clarity, because I am the mother of two black boys and I do not want this negative stigma to be placed on them. "
Being a mother is hard work and I wish you - with all sincerity - all the luck in the world doing so. Hopefully this will help with some clarity. Raise them to be good men. Loving, respectful, intelligent, polite. Raise them to be strong and objective thinkers. Teach them to be understanding. How to listen. How to be caring and kind. Raise them to be positive leaders in this world. Teach them to be accountable for their actions, all their actions. Raise them to be responsible and honest. Teach them tolerance and peace and how to respect diversity... to recognize the gifts of other races, creeds, and colors without hate or suspicion or anger. The world needs more good men and and women. If they should find themselves on a place that does not match their interests or on which they are uncomfortable, such as an interracial relationships site, they will have the freedom to think "this is not for me, I will move on to a place that does match my interests and where I am comfortable". We ALL have that freedom.
3 weeks ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@Brenda55 @Sfbta " I like manipulating words and have gotten pretty good at it over the years."
You have gotten VERY good at it over the years.... fantastic writer.... Teacher give you an "A"....
@darkandlovely @kennaGransberg @NicoleLittle "The person who makes the most money has the most power on the household. "
Wow... here is a silly idea... be more powerful TOGETHER....
3 weeks ago on Deion Sanders Acknowledges the Reality of “Damaged Beyond Repair” (DBR), But…
@kennaGransberg @NicoleLittle "When my mom was graduating from college he never came to her graduation. he went work that day. My father is pretty much owns his own business so he could have taken the time off, he was just simply threatened by my moms need to better herself. Another thing he did was always talk about how much more money he made than her. Yep! that's ma daddy."
I am sorry but... what an idiot? Didnt even come to her graduation? What kind of MAN doesnt support his wife and mate? I guess I am just naive. As a teacher, I am all about education. As a man, I am all about supporting my woman fully. I get that it is about the power, I just dont get the need for that power alone instead of you BOTH becoming stronger and more powerful. yeah, I know, if she becomes more powerful her options expand greatly and you might need to step up your game and do your damn part for the partnership... or lose her if you dont. I have a simple solution.... step it up. Be the best mate and loving partner that you can be. That she deserves. That you deserve. That your family deserves. Geez...... Yes, I am irritated...
@Oaktown Paul "Public figures may now start encouraging bw to find better, but (to avoid the male backlash) they will stop short of advising them to date outside their race. "
I think you are spot on...
The weird thing is.... I HATE sweet potatoes but sweet potato pie.... Yummy....
3 weeks, 1 day ago on Is Pumpkin Pie for White People?
Both. What time is dinner?
@Brenda55 @janet28 " The non-black men who come here have a goal and that is to listen, learn and inter-act with black women since their goal is a fulfilling relationship with black women and the children that they are raising or want to raise with black women. "
That is so true. I know for myself, I have learned SO much from being a part of this community. Things that I have learned here and shared here and support that I have received here .... it has all been so wonderful. And all of this has made me a better mate in my relationships with black women. I like the think that I have offered back just as much through my interaction as a member of this community. I daresay almost all of us in the community do - to various levels - enjoy being here otherwise we are free to move on to places that we DO enjoy. Dialogue here is almost always respectful, even if one may disagree. Intelligent discourse is both valued and welcomed. Christelyn and the moderators work very hard to keep this place what it is, what those of us who live here want it to be. Those that want to be a part of that are welcomed. Those that come with agendas, well, you will be shut down pretty quickly and are certainly free to go where you will find like-minded folks.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@TeeVee Thank you so much. I havent written in awhile, have I (and I do love doing so)? I might have to come up with something.... I am very excited about my relationship and upcoming marriage. She is a sweetheart and we are very much in love with each other. Often, I find myself wondering what I did to be so blessed. Oh, I have - as we all have - had my share of trials and tribulations. But I dont know why He gave me such a blessing. Maybe it is my reward for being a teacher and dealing with all those BadAzz kids everyday... and actually making an impact on a few of them... maybe my reward for continuing to be an influence in the lives of my "inherited" kids from Bee (and I am SO thankful how understanding Bella is about that.. she is wonderfully supportive).. I just dont know.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on My Strong Is <em>Not</em> Your Strong, My Swirl Is <em>Not</em> Your Swirl: On White Women Entitlement Issues And Epic Cockblocking
@TeeVee " Toni, please accept my sincerest thanks for this essay. Outstanding!"
She is an amazingly accomplished writer, isnt she?
@chocolate_fashionista @EarthJeff " Anyways, I'm glad that we as black women have the full package!!!"
Oh, yes, you lovely ladies have the full package for certain.....
3 weeks, 4 days ago on “Dear White Guys Who Like Black Women, Please Stop Saying This…”
@chocolate_fashionista @darkandlovely " I think that we as black women are incredibly exotic! I just think that our look is not nearly as appreciated. It's the stereotype and the stigma that do us as black women in. In my opinion, we are just as exotic and appealing as any other group of women!!"
I agree with you fully. I would even submit that black women are MORE exotic and appealing than any other group of women. Soft dark eyes that no other can match. Nice feminine curves that just drives to the primal desires from mother nature to attract male to female. Rich deep beautiful skin tones that just make EVERY black woman unique from every other. An ability to wear vibrant colors that no other group can pull off the same way. Yes the battle is against hundreds of years of stereotypes and stigma.
@KingsDaughter @EarthJeff "You are a sweetheart EarthJeff!"
Awwwww, gee.... thank you
This is very educational. I would have thought it to be a compliment - and I have used it that way, but I can see where to many.. it would not be. This neighborhood continues to "school me" in a very positive way... and I am glad... Thanks, ladies
@SirLoinDeBeef @Jamila "Welcome back, Jamila, I've missed you. "
I have missed you too... happy to see you back
1 month ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
@itsgoodtobeme @ladyofmagic1974 " I wouldn't even call them "beta" males. That's an insult to betas. No power, nothing tangible that any sane woman would want. Nothing but a walking penis."
JUST males, certainly not men....
@EmpressNK " I'm impressed that you contacted Christelyn. I think you're a smart girl and I have high hopes for you. I wish you all the best, and I hope you will step up to the plate and seek the best for your own life x. "
To the writer.... I believe that you are smart and I have high hopes for you as well. As I tell my students all the time (I teach high school), Blaze your own path. Reflect on the way. What worked well and are processes that you want to keep? What steps could have been better, and knowing that now, what changes will you make and what things that did work will you more fully incorporate in your life? You have as much value as anyone else in this world. Take your place in it. Live and love and laugh and thrive. Yes, along the way there will be frustrations and heartbreak and bad experiences. Dont shrink from them either - you WILL survive and thrive and be stronger for those experiences too. Enjoy the ride, both the thrilling parts as well as the scary ones. At the final bell many years from now, we all have a complete story, and only you can write yours. Good luck and much happiness to you.
1 month ago on Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50.
@Brenda55 "It does not do to wake a sleeping giant."
NO it does not. Pandora's Box......
1 month ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.
@_Toni_ " I hate (read: love) to be the one to tell them but they can't put the lid back on what's happening."
If many of them have trouble spelling simple words, somehow I suspect the example of Pandora's Box will be lost on them and they will not see the correlation... But you are SO correct
@Christelyn Boy, our educational system sure is a mess. What are those damn teachers teaching these days?
@_Toni_ "And no, you haters will NOT be welcome in the new space. So get it all out of your system now, because I expect when things go live you and your irrelevant opinions will be non-existent."
And to those haters..... please feel free to create whatever venomous, hate-filled crying and whining spaces that you petulant children choose to occupy. We wont bother you, complain, whine, try to get it taken away from you. We will just ignore you, just as much of the world is doing. You are irrelevant to everyone except yourselves. Please feel free to exist together. The entire world will just continue to ignore you.
@Christelyn @Brenda55 @Laura_j Yes they have...... It was bound to happen sooner or later. And as they are now realizing it.... commercials... visible swirled couples... etc... it is not only too late for them to slow it down it is too late for them to do a damn thing about it. That is the best they can do, take down a Facebook page? Oooohhh, that hurts. That is the best they have, really??? Spew grammatically incorrect (and therefore showing their ignorance) all over the WORLD wide web? Just makes them look look like silly, whining, petulant (another word they wont know and that is sad) children.
@darkandlovely @caligirl94117 @BWC @itsgoodtobeme
Below is what I sent Facebook. I cant wait to see what they say.
"I want to know why this was taken down. If it violated terms of service, please give detailed examples. It is very disconcerting when a few haters can get together and have a page taken down just because they do not agree with the content. In this case that page was completely about interracial relationships. It sets a bad precedent when FB dances to the tunes of racist folks. Is that what FB has become?"
@MixedUpInVegas "See, don't make a Black woman mad!"
Geez no...... When she flashes you Annaliese Keating eyes, you had better run....
@dani-BBW @ChocolateDiva " I saw Black Twitter get all happy that Shonda finally has a Black couple, on the new Viola Davis show. That guy turned out to be hiding being bisexual and the couple is now on the rocks. "
I was SO excited when I saw that Viola's character had a white husband (and she is HOT. Although the laser eyes make you feel like she is about to chew you out for something. When Bella looks at me like that I say "quit giving me the Annaliese Keating eyes") and then they killed him off in the first episode. So go WM BW couples in mainstream TV. At least they showed them for one episode so the world IS changing.
@onmywayup They are the ones paying no attention in school, have chronic attendance issues, often are suspended, do not turn in homework, do not participate in class.... And it shows. Personally, I would be embarrassed - they are not - if my language skills were so abysmal (and no, they wont know what that word means)
@socialbutterfly I believe that a meet-up event in Las Vegas next July is in the works. Christelyn will probably be talking more about it later.
1 month, 1 week ago on Open Forum: Community Brainstorm Session
@MichelePaynter1 @EarthJeff @rexy012 " I do so wish and invite such men to write about their loving experiences with BW, on this site, or any other positive blog, muuch like BB&W."
I know I always enjoyed sharing... I should get back to that...
@rexy012 "BB & W has shown their are thousands of men who date, marry, and have families with BW. If their are BM who do not see the beauty in us, I can assure you that their are others that do."
Yes there are... we are out here...
@Marielisa_ @N2ition " You end up developing super efficient avoidance skills :"
I bet. Probably have a pretty keen radar too.
1 month, 1 week ago on He Said, She Said…A Discussion About Street Harassment with Dual Perspectives
@lindsaynagle "It is ultimately up to MEN to make the change. "
Very true. It is up to the man to change. For him to understand what is right and what is wrong, how to treat women, etc. It is upon his fathers, uncles, brothers to check his behavior when it is wrong. It is upon him to teach his sons and nephews how to be a proper man. It is on ALL of us men - no matter what the color - to refuse to allow other males to bully women. We have a long road ahead.