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@TRhamy Punch 'n Pie?
2 years, 3 months ago on Be an Extra in the AVGN Movie!
@Brandon Draven Awww, shit, I fell for a troll. Someone cue the Rick Roll.
@Brandon Draven Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!
@Brandon Draven @DaBun You mean like how four year olds should be able to drive and drink beer?
@Brandon Draven @Charliesnedden Dude, this kind of shit proves why it'd be a pain in the ass dealing with the issue. This isn't Les Mis, you can lay down the banner and leave the barricade. I think there are more important battles.
@supmandude @demonofgaming Thank you for illustrating. Shitheads like this guy.
2 years, 3 months ago on Elmo in Grouchland (1999) Commentary
@RobertMcDougal @Brandon Draven The problem is twofold.
1. You can't sign legal contracts until you are 18. In lawsuit happy California this would be a huge problem.
2. California has some very strict rules about handling minors on a set. James would have to hire people just for this. For free extras it's just notion much trouble.
In other words, blame nanny-state California, not James.
@demonofgaming Once again, "Follow That Bird" is a Sesame Street movie for kids, and it didn't suck balls. Hopefully if you have kids you will realize that some kids stuff is fun, and some is utter crap.
BTW, constructive criticism is useful, being a Fuck McNugget like some people here is not. If I were him I'd say a hell of a lot more than him. I think he's been rather measured in response to the shit heads out there.
@Irate Gamer Fanboy I know you're trolling, but anyway...
Do you really think people would show up for a movie of a piece of turd in a toilet for 90 minutes? That's kinda like what irate gamer would be like.
2 years, 3 months ago on Nerd Log - The Point of No Return
@Khameleon I don't think anyone's truly ready for the wallet-rape that California is. Easy to not expect that, especially when you think you can just set up a camera anywhere.
Next time he gets an itch for filming, he could try out many of the states that give huge discounts to filmmakers because they want the business. Screw CA.
@kentowen Disneyland is right down the street after you're done shooting. Just sayin'.
@JelwynnKain You do realize that's why he was taxed so much... $300,000 or so of "income" will magically make him one of the "1%" this year that some people love to hate so much. On paper anyway.
Nobody should pay 90% of their income to the government.
@Davy Okay, that there's funny. :)
2 years, 3 months ago on Michael Bay's TMNT from Outer Space?
@TehKnight I'm an Arizonan too, but it's only 5 hours to L.A. from here. We do Disney pretty often. You could always call it a vacation. :)
@fightgenie Yeah, Armageddon was a total shit-fest. As it turns out "I do want to miss a thing, I do want to close my eyes."
Oddly enough "Pearl Harbor" didn't bother me nearly as much as it apparently should have. I guess walking in expecting total crap can leave you satisfied if anything in it was good. :)
2 years, 4 months ago on Michael Bay's TMNT from Outer Space?
@Calavera Yes, people hate his attention to detail, that's why so many 12 year old "game reviewers" on YouTube with no scripts, shitty camera work, and no production values are as popular as AVGN.
Second of all, talk for yourself duck fuck.
2 years, 4 months ago on Festers Quest Commentary
@supmandude Troll is obvious troll.
2 years, 4 months ago on Elmo in Grouchland (1999) Commentary
@supmandude I'm sure. Or at least defend someone's right to make a private owner of a private server have to pay and waste people's time and their money to have their worthless opinion promoted against the site owner's will.It's the typical shit, scream "free speech" even though that is about the government, not private individuals. Scream that you have the right to be a dumbass on someone else's dime and act butthurt when said owner gets tired of your shit.
@supmandude A private message board owned and paid for can censor whatever they want, dolt.
I love how those who disagree with you should die. You champion of "open mindedness" and "free speech" you.
@supmandude Censorship means that a place has some standards, unlike you. If someone is useless, screw them, Cinemassacre is paying for the bandwidth.
BTW, real life (ie not web shit) has "censorship" too, it's called getting punched in the mouth for being a dumb fuck.
@Doogrisa Agree, this guy is a hardcore twatburger and adds nothing to this site.
@Kurvos The battle here really is creativity, to see how to take two entirely unrelated things and tie them together in a half sensible fashion. It's a battle of wits.
Yeah, the "who would win" thing is out there, but it's been done to death. I don't even give a fuck anymore who thinks Wolverine or Lobo would win, or a Star Destroyer vs. the Enterprise. This, on the other hand, is just fun to watch them try to wiggle two stupid things together.
2 years, 4 months ago on Most Unlikely VS Battles (Part 2)
@BaldFrenchGuy For a second there I thought you were talking about the Rescue Ranger.
@Firewall_Philip_Hanan Far too serious for this kind of silliness. For the spirit of this, for instance, pit Unicron against the roach that lives in the twinkie in Wall-E, or perhaps The Elements of Harmony.
I agree with this post greatly. The one thing I did find a little different is that while I'd say the point you found is valid, I think even stronger was the message that different races don't just have to be with "their own kind" to be happy, when everyone works together even greater happiness can be had. A great point, IMHO.
All the things you mention where part of what made this movie a lot of fun though! While there's singing it's not sucky and annoying for the most part. Roscoe Orman (Gordon) even gets an action scene. I wonder if he's done that since playing the pimp in the blaxploitation movie "Willie Dynamite". No, really. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072409/
"Follow That Bird" highlights everything that was great about Sesame Street. Elmo's flick shows the total trash heap that Sesame Street is becoming with him as the star. I don't even think Oscar wants to be on that pile of crap.
I think those really upset about this commentary likely are those who grew up loving Elmo. It's too much a part of their childhoods to want to pick on it. For those of us who grew up with Sesame Street that didn't suck, we love to mock this movie because it symbolizes the massacre of our childhood show and don't mind this movie being savaged (let alone Elmo).
@PietariKotala A classic example of what a shitstain Elmo is.
@AxlTCU Dude, if you actually WANT to hear this movie and what fucking ELMO is saying then it is YOU who needs help and taste.
@werty12112 When you have kids you'll learn that there are good kid's movies, and total shit kid's movies. You'll learn the pain and suffering from the shitty ones, and you WILL want to fucking kill Elmo. Not to mention Barney... *shudder*
@AppleCider The funnier thing was when Mike didn't cut to himself when Elmo said to Zoe "now don't fucking touch it bitch, or I'll slice your fucking eyes out"... for a millisecond there my brain was processing it as something Elmo actually said. I laughed my ass off.
@metalcommand Dude, your emos sound like even bigger shitheads than ours.
You know, the sad thing is that Mike was right, Follow That Bird wasn't bad at all, given that it's a Sesame Street movie and all that. It had Dave Thomas and Joe Flaherty as the villians. It also had cameos by John Candy, Chevy Chase, and Waylon Jennings.
It's one of those children's movies that when your kids beg to watch it again you don't have to bash your head into the wall to cope with the pain. I prefer when they want to watch The Dark Crystal though.
This, however, was shit. Some damn relative bought this one. I think I'm gonna scratch it up soon.
@Kookiez29 No, you're right, it's Mandy Patinkin, Inigo Montoya himself. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That lizard guy looks a bit like Grig from "The Last Starfighter".
2 years, 4 months ago on Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)
@AmbossDerRabiator Do you also bitch about them showing movies for free on network TV years after thier release?
2 years, 5 months ago on AVGN: What Was I Thinking (2006)
@SmoothJazzFingerBlast "Oh bitch, bitch, bitch!". - Abraham Simpson
@RobertCain He wouldn't be the first person to be killed by overconfidence and stupidity. Toying with a foe like that rather than finishing the job has consequences.
2 years, 5 months ago on Star Wars movie review - Part 2
@Mike/Cinemassacre Actually, I'd like to see a really good actor make Anakin's shitty dialog sound good. I'm not sure Laurence Olivier could sell some of those stinkers.
2 years, 5 months ago on Message From Space
@Mike/Cinemassacre When it was first out? I mean, yeah, some effects were "meh", the spit you mentioned was VERY noticeable, but overall I thought the presentation was impressive at the time. Probably should have stuck with the muppet for non-leaping Yoda though.
As far as acting I guess I felt that when it suffered it was likely due to craptastic dialogue from Lucas that no actor could save. :). Can't discount directing either.
Still, by ROTS I think it had mostly improved minus a few more spots of shit dialogue again.
@GunStarGhost@Martin123 To be fair, the CGI was amazing at the time. Jar Jar does suck the big one though.
Darth Maul vs. two Jedi makes up for it though, it's a shame they can't have a version that is purely Jedi and pod racing action with none of the lame parts. :)
@PDL Yeah, I think of it that way too. Mike may be sick of MFer, and I don't blame him, but Monday definitely is "Motherfucking" :)
@DerekShort Star Wars ... gay? Well I guess it is happy at times, but not always.
Oh wait, you mean something else? Allow me to reply with a hearty "go fuck yo momma".
So, is the actually good recent Ghostbusters game not considered to be a movie video game since it doesn't precisely have a movie it's emulating, or does it count because it's based on a movie franchise?
2 years, 5 months ago on Interview on VideoGameAuctions
@Mirokunite @DBZMagus I like. With my new kid I'll see if I can make that happen.
Probably won't though, the other kids will probably watch them in front of him before then.
@Waffle Yeah, as good as it was to me those are valid points. I'd probably made things more clear myself. It's a LOT better than ep 2 & 3 though.
My take is that when he went over he snapped hardcore and turned his healthy emotions off. Isn't that what the Jedi wanted? ;) Basically going Jedi postal there.
Re: Padme - I saw it not as much as "oh no he went dark side" as pure mental and system shock at being dark side choked by the one she ultimately loved and trusted. That, combined with the corrupting harm of the dark side hitting her and the physical strain of labor doing her in.
Just my take anyways. As I said, Lucas could have made it more clear.
For me, that was the part that made the most sense and was done well. You see his rage barely in check in the film (and shows) before. You see his leanings towards authoritarian solutions.
When he finds the truth about Palpatine/Sideous he is conflicted but turns in the old man he had thought of as a friend. He damn well wanted a fair trial about it though. He couldn't stand seeing his friend suffer any more than he later could his son.
After Mace is killed he realizes the Jedi will never take him back. The only thing left is his wife, and he thinks that only by following his new master can he save her.
Ironically, this causes him to hate when he thinks she has left him to join Obi-Wan. He lashes out at her with that hate and fatally harms her through the touch of the dark side. Between that and her loss of hope she gives up and passes away. I've seen it happen in real life when someone gives up, and that's without any harm from the Force.
@FrankCabanski You have to remember that even by the original trilogy's standards so few Jedi was an abnormality. They were a knighthood, protectors of a republic. While rare they were never to the point of being thought of as myth before.
The mysteriousness of the Jedi was way higher in that era than any other time.
FWIW, I showed my kids the originals first to preserve the shock value of the Vader reveal. Then I had a teaching moment to them when we watched the prequels about how a good man can go bad, and about redemption.
Other than his opinion on Darth Maul (badass) this is pretty close to my feelings on the prequels. I don't know why so many people don't seem to like Ep 3. I think they must just have a mindset that if it's prequel it must be bad. Honestly, Ep 3 deserves to stand with the originals.
The one thing I didn't hear him talk about is the added Biggs scene in Ep 4. That I thought was a VERY good addition, maybe one of the few that the Special Edition did very, very right. Originally watching I didn't even catch that one of Luke's friends was there with him. It really ramped up the emotions seeing his buddy there and losing his friend.
I'm pretty sure my "irony detector" went off when James called the guy a "stud".
2 years, 5 months ago on Atari Porn
@The_Smooth_Dude Sounds like, "I hate you, you're stupid, and so's your mother. Nothing personal."
I guess those who like Mike's videos will have to disrespectfully disagree with you. In closing, eat my shit, fuckstick.
2 years, 5 months ago on Kirby Glitches
Congratulations, this is officially the first Munky Cheez video I could stand to watch sober. :)
Not bitchin' about the rest, just not my bag. There was something very amusing about this tune though to me.
Now, to test it out, time to get drunk then watch it again...
2 years, 5 months ago on Munky Cheez 4
@lunalicrichard Yes, the ability to think in a non-partisan manner. Enjoy your talking points, leave your ability to see consequences to actions at the door.
2 years, 5 months ago on AVGN Movie Fundraiser Ending
@lunalicrichard Typical. Who do you think really pays for "free"? You don't really care if your emotions feel good, do you?
@lunalicrichard Wow. You really believe that shit eh? *shrug*. One born every minute.
@lunalicrichard I'll give you two hints about your surmising: Republicans aren't the party in power in California for years, and Hollywood has big pockets for "campaign donations"...
I'm waiting for Citizen Kane the video game. Perhaps LJN would like to take a crack at it if THQ doesn't feel up to it.
2 years, 5 months ago on AVGN: Wayne's World
@Keith_C @nerdyguy64 There are many places in the U.S. to film as well that are a hell of a lot cheaper than CA. I agree with that other poster saying the prices there seem set up to be a barrier to indies.
Ahh, taxes. Yeah, you see now, he made more than 200k this year, so he's "rich" according to the OWS fucks.
Goddamn Uncle Sam, keep your mitts off the Nerd's money!
@Marvipe *nod* Shit.
2 years, 5 months ago on Shit Reel
@Mike/Cinemassacre@noctique Nooooooooooo!!!!! It was like the one thing to look forward to on Mondays, we need our fix, man. :)
@RhyanChapman Seriously? It's been like a month and you're starting this shit? Amazing.
@nowhere4321 See advice: "Bite me."
@Strazdas @vancouvered07 Ah, and how did the puke scene "satirize" anything more or less than how here they were making fun of poop humor.
Never mind, you're clearly a pain in the ass prig who thinks that Python NEVER went for any humor like that, despite that they did. Pointless arguing with a snotty prick like you.
2 years, 5 months ago on Board James: Doggie Doo
@SolidGoldCEO@Deadlyrazorwings Fuck that about haters. The Internet is complete proof that some ignorant twats absolutely have to hate things to make themselves feel better.
Listen, if someone doesn't like something and wants to post constructive criticism like kane117 did above, that's cool, and even useful. What ticks me off is when some ignorant fuck posts nothing useful like "this suks, u rnt funny NEmor". Is that useful in any fucking way? No, it isn't, and only serves to hurt.
People put their blood, sweat, and tears into the work they do. The least these miserable fuck droppings can do is be civil to the person who made the content or have something useful to put as criticism.
@Strazdas@vancouvered07 What, you mean like the part in The Meaning of Life where the fat guy barfs all over everything?
I think the Python folks would be the first to admit they are 100% highbrow humor either.
@Leongeeste8 I had posted a link but it kind of got buried in the pile of whiney bitch posts afterwards. Here is is: http://www.doggiedoogame.com/rules.html.
Basically, there a d6 with 1 pump, 2 pumps (X2), 3 pumps, lose a turn, or have to swap shovels. You roll, then pump. If the poo comes out you get it with your shovel. First person to three dogshits wins.
Personally, I think you win if you can get someone else to pick up dogshit, but maybe that's just me.
@kane117 See, now this I can dig. This guy made the good points and bad points for him about the video. It's called "constructive criticism" and is the opposite of the people here who are simply saying "you suck, you're not funny anymore" and other inane crap like that.
Bravo sir for actually having a point to make. FWIW, I found the video funny for the one shot joke it was, but you're right, they do need to explain the game a bit more in the series like they used to.
@DBZMagus @GIAGANTOR @Solobear Maybe some of us liked this, unlike you dickeaters and curmudgeons. Ooh, look what I did there. Just like you I combined mindless swearing and a big erudite word. I must be amazing to you, shitlips.
@MotherFucker Mike @rychh Never mind the assholes Mike. Some of us were smart enough to get what you guys were doing.
Keep up the awesome work.
@GIAGANTOR @Solobear That's beautiful, man! I'm adding that to my sarcasm repertoire.
In the meantime, while awaiting the refund, I recommend the haters here try a rousing game of "Hide-and-Go-Fuck-Yourself".
I was curious about how the hell this is a game. Found the rules: http://www.doggiedoogame.com/rules.html
Basically, you roll a dice to see how many pumps you make and hope to be the one to clean up the shit. Riveting.
Well, I guess we've found a game for those who DragonStrike is too complex for. :)
2 years, 6 months ago on Board James: Doggie Doo
@Rez Aching Sounds like they vastly underestimated what kind of crowd draw they had there.
Well, at least you got to meet him. Hopefully since the organizers apologized for the mess up they won't do that again.
2 years, 6 months ago on AVGN Panel
@Rez Aching Ok, that's true. They should have expected that more people would want to see James.
Was that the biggest room that was available?
@Korgull @supmandude @SetzyTB Based on just as many facts as you put in your shithead post before.
Note: If you're not secure enough in your manhood to watch a show with your daughters we won't likely have to worry about you breeding.
@Korgull @supmandude @SetzyTB Aww, you're just mad cuz the FBI shut down your favorite kiddy porn site. Don't worry, you won't miss it for long when they take you to Bubba to have your colon daily irrigated with his man juice.
@gamez @SetzyTB I have two daughters under 7, fucktard. And I did (and still will) watch G.I. Joe & Transformers, which are both on the same channel as the MLP show.
@SetzyTB It's a pretty decent kid show. Worth watching if you like Lauren Faust's work.
The fans can be aggravating though. There seem to be two kinds, those who find the show enjoyable (especially compared to other crap my daughter would watch), and then those who can't fucking stop talking about it.
@Rez Aching You learned a valuable life lesson there. If it's important, come early. Those bouncers were enforcing fire codes, you know.
@ReddiShadow @powergannon Dude, have you not met nerds before? Try having a group like that to discuss who the best Star Trek captain was or if Trek or Star Wars is better and watch it come to blows.
Some simply hate nerdom that isn't theirs and want to make fun of something else nerdy to make themselves feel better.
@DaveMcGrath@Firewall_Philip_Hanan I've said it before, I'll say it again. He's gonna be right by the goddamn dinosaurs from that and "The Wizard" - he totally needs to film a scene there.
...and get a date shake from the Wheel Inn still there. Seriously looks exactly like it did in Pee Wee's still.
@Strazdas@Jarnor Capitalization, it's not just a good idea, it's the law...
What were you saying about idiocy again? Oh, nothing, that's right, you were talking about idiocity. Is that in Illinois or Ohio, perhaps?
2 years, 6 months ago on Board James Battle Masters
@googlejustsucks What a fuckstick some of you ingrates are.
2 years, 6 months ago on Robo Vampire (1988)
@Nintendoman4581 That last line makes me want to find a way to make it go to Manic Monday by the Bangles... :)
My brothers' friends and I had a weekly tradition where we'd go to the video store and try to find the worst movie possible. We hit some amazing shit bombs that way. Of course, we also found Meet the Feebles that way too...
@OfficialJab You can't possibly NOT find things to call bullshit on in California. He'd never get the movie done if he had to count them all. :)
2 years, 6 months ago on Nerd up!
James, if you're shooting in So. Cal, you MUST include the Cabazon dinosaurs, they're maybe an hour out of L.A. towards Phoenix / desert shooting locations, so worth it.
If you couldn't find a joke with those between the Wizard and Large Marge, I'd be shocked.
The MST3K version makes this SO worth watching.
2 years, 7 months ago on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
People who can't understand a game that is based around plot rather than twitch reflexes are the kind of mouth breathers I'd expect to like the LJN games in the first place, "panic".
I can see why mental challenges aren't much fun for the unarmed. Please pray tell what craptastic kind of gameplay you think would make Back to the Future games interesting. Obviously a detailed plot is not on your list.
2 years, 7 months ago on AJ LoCascio interview
Perhaps some of us who prefer Apple enjoy the capabilities of a *NIX based-OS rather. I guess the computer scientists, engineers, and programmers I know that use Apple machines just must not know anything about computers.
And, FWIW, I LOVE this board game and ones far more complex with much deeper strategy, and run an Apple myself (as well as a Windows box).
2 years, 7 months ago on Board James Battle Masters
@reaperfear Ahh, Talisman. The unholy illegitimate love child of a RPG (Warhammer FRP, in particular) and Monopoly.
That's one game that looks complex to the untrained eye but really isn't. So much of it falls down to getting screwed by luck... Makes it a perfect game to play while drinking to me! :)
@MotherFucker@J03_b @Nintendo_Frog Mike @matti90 I love reading instructions. How to build furnature, play complicated games, build nuclear weapons...
2 years, 8 months ago on Board James Battle Masters
@koopzilla Always cannonball the ogre.
@BrunoMazzolli Oh totally, I love thier celebrity D&D games podcasts. Mike would be the perfect asshole to play a rogue.
And, honestly you don't REALLY need to know anything to play D&D with a good Dungeon Master.
@lozfan1993 That's being saved for the Special Edition.
Unfortunately in that one Mike doesn't shoot first.
Man, we had this one. Had to take over the living room to play it. It was on the rotation for me, my brothers, and our friends.
Played the living fuck out of this, Dragon Strike, and HeroQuest. The more pieces the more likely we owned it.
Speaking of games that p0wn, anyone play Mutant Chronicles: Siege of the Citadel?
@DonSkiver Yeah, this and Dragon Strike were regular staples at our house of nerdlings until we got into full RPGs.
2 years, 8 months ago on Hero Quest
Oh, never freaking mind, you DID whole episodes of him as well as the Oz thing.
I find him more amusing as a guest commentator for the Nerd. Wouldn't mind a cameo there sometime.
That game reminds me a lot of The Legend of Kage. They also felt the need to use both buttons for weapons and thereby relegate jumping to up on the pad. Which was the same for climbing. Hilarity ensues.
Come to think of it, that game is a candidate for the Nerd to hit, IMHO.
2 years, 10 months ago on Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu
I'm completely smashed while watching this. What were you guys on and how much of it? :)
2 years, 10 months ago on Wizard of Oz 3: Dorothy Goes to Hell (2006)
I never watched this old one. I'd love to have Shitpickle show up in a cameo in the future. Found it funny as hell although you wouldn't want to do a whole episode with him in it.
I was happily blessed with friends and brothers who firmly believed that the more shit that comes in a game box the better the game will be.
Well, that and the fact I'd sit around and read the rulebooks of games for fun, planning ideas ahead in my mind. Made it so nobody else had to deal with the part that scares most people off.
2 years, 10 months ago on Hero Quest
My brothers and I played the living hell out of this game (also HeroQuest and a few others of its ilk). We were lucky to have friends who had the patience to get into this crazy shit.
I find your edits with the DragonMaster video funny as hell. Even as a kid I could tell that guy was overacting in a way that would make Shatner tell him to tone it down a notch.
I also used to torture players by making them watch the damn video while I set up the game too. We pretty much had that totally ridiculous video memorized. This game still remains one of the things I wish I'd kept over the years.
Any chance of doing any kind of advanced game like this where you actually play it? HeroQuest was a cock tease on that front. :P
2 years, 10 months ago on Board James 2: Dragonstrike