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4 days, 11 hours ago on Really, Nicki Minaj? What Are You Trying to Prove?
Having been able to completely stay at home for different periods of time I have definitely seen that it is expected that I work. It was very annoying to be asked when I was going to get a job or that I needed to work. My ex (from El Salvador) was completely fine with me staying at home for as long as I wanted. The crazy thing is that at times I've had to wonder if I was lazy just because I wanted to be at home. The baby years pass by so fast...I'm lucky I was able to not miss them.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman?
So he was mad you couldn't work, but now he's found himself a "mail order bride" type? She most definitely will be a housewife... But I guess that's proving the point of this article. For a black woman that is not okay, but for a non-black woman that's fine. Smh.
Nice article. I actually used to be on this blog all the time, but in the past year I've only been on and commented a handful of times. I have definitely at times seen the things you've mentioned here. Honestly I think I was just tired of seeing posts turn into black men vs. white men debates - that shit got boring to me as I haven't dated any white men and I've only dated one black guy lol.
But I have also experienced the feeling of not belonging. I'm now 26 and not where I thought I would be in life. I'm not single, but not married, I now have two kids, and I still haven't finished school. I've agreed with many topics I've seen on the blog, but I can totally see how some people could feel like they don't belong here. While a lot of the things discussed here are about the betterment of black women I can't say it always comes without a judgmental tone. That could throw off newbies to the site, especially if the concept of them doing for themselves and bettering themselves is new to them.
Like I said, I've struggled with feeling out of place in my own life. Nobody expected me to not have a degree, have two kids before being married, and not have a good job - but that's where I am for now. I don't like that I can't do certain things my sister or some of my friends can, but I've accepted it. I had to learn how not to beat myself up for it either. So I can come to this site and read the opinions and judgments of others and I will be okay. Others might not be at that point, but hopefully they stick around and find something helpful.
2 months ago on Message to the Lurkers: Not All of Us Are Preaching to the Choir
I agree with Jeff on this issue. Nobody is saying that she needs to be BFF with his ex-wife, but why would you not want to meet the children, and by extension their mother, of your significant other? Just because they are adult children doesn't mean you will never have to interact with them. I personally would be insulted if the person I was with didn't want to meet my kids at all. Isn't it at least a good sign that her bf will be staying with her while his ex is in the house lol?
4 months, 1 week ago on QOTW: I’m black, but now I have “white people problems”…
That's amazing. I would be forever grateful to those boys. I just read today a sad story about a little 6 year old whose body was found stuffed in a trash can. This little girl could've ended up the same way had it not been for them.
7 months, 3 weeks ago on Good News You Can Use: Two Teens Chase Down Kidnapper--- Rescue 5 Year Old in PA
It's still the same approach for me. I don't do anything different. People will reach their own conclusions. But if people actually ask me or tell me their assumptions then I can confirm or correct them.
7 months, 4 weeks ago on Do You Feel The Need to Distance Yourself from Other Black Women?
Yes, some people feel the need to do all that. In my eyes that's trying too hard and a waste of energy. If you are not a certain way, your actions should be able to speak for you.
I don't feel the need to distance myself from black women who display qualities I don't like or behave in ways I don't agree with. I am in a position where I don't usually have to witness or be near the bs of individuals I don't know. I'm almost always at home with my kids, but I'm sure that will soon change as I'm looking to start working again. I have faith that the people that are actually in my life have enough brain cells to rub together to conclude that I am an individual. That I am a women that just happens to be black, and the actions of one or even many, don't reflect on me. As far as the people that would just lump us all together - they don't concern me.
LOVED this post. And yes Serita, it did get hot in here! I let my mind wonder into what could've happened had your friend not been a cock blocker lol. At least you got a kiss before you left.
8 months, 1 week ago on Aye Papi............One Woman's Love Affair With Latino Men
Well I knew Paula Deen would pop up lol. She said she's used "nigger" before, but a long time ago. I'm not gonna say it's a rule for all white Southerners of her age to use the word, but is it surprising that it's come out of her mouth in the past?? Uh, NO. And generally speaking, I wouldn't necessarily hold that against somebody...something they've said in the past. From seeing various stories about this and the actual deposition, I think people may have twisted her words and the entire situation.
8 months, 3 weeks ago on Recap of All the WTF News We Missed Last Week...
Technically yes, but "baby daddy" carries a negative connotation...
9 months, 3 weeks ago on Beware of Weight-Loss Haters! J-Hud's Fiancé Gripes that he Misses Her Being a Big'n.
I understand what is being said, but I don't think that we can be sure he is feeling insecure because of her weight loss. There are men that genuinely like "big girls", and not just because she should supposedly be insecure with her size or have less dating options. I worked with a guy once, and he truly just loved really big women lol. Everybody is attracted to something. IMO Jennifer Hudson looks like she's lost plenty of weight and shouldn't loose more, but that's not my choice. If the problem is her being obsessive about it, I can understand that being annoying.
Now I personally have seen the sabotage in action with a couple friends. There's been times in the past when I was trying to curb some cravings and lose some weight, then I'd have a friend encouraging me to do the opposite. My couple of close friends aren't skinny, but I guess you don't want to be left behind if you see other people around you making progress.
Ok, Star Jones. You want to see "black love" on tv? Well I'm watching yesterday's episode of Dr. Phil - a black couple and the dude has cheated on his wife with dozens of women. Apparently her cooking, cleaning, and literally putting the toothpaste on his damn toothbrush is just not enough, and his cheating is her fault. But at least they're both black, right? *rolls eyes*
1 year, 1 month ago on Why the Star Jones Twitter Fiasco Is the Death Knell of the NBAB Borg Collective
Her loose screws definitely fell out lol. It was just weird for me to actually deal with a person that would stoop so low and do some crazy shit in order to trap a man. When I confronted her about the whole situation she basically just asked me to sweep it under the rug and keep being her friend. How the hell would that have gone? And then she couldn't understand why I told her ass she was crazy lol. Considering what she'd done I think I was nice about it, and I told her it was a shame that she threw away what could've been a really good friendship for us and our kids. I told her that trying to use a man to fill whatever empty void in her life would never work, and she should've thought about that had she really wanted to have a friendship with me. I just cut her out of my life and moved on, and she's doing the same old crap as before.
1 year, 2 months ago on Hot Abercrombie Guy Tells of "Awkward" Interracial Dating Experience
@onthewaydown @greengirl7 @Browncow
Yeah, luckily things still worked out for me. I'm still happy in my relationship and I see she's dragged yet another new man into her sons life. I immediately cut ties after finding out what she had been doing. So I definitely learned a lesson in dealing with a crazy chick :)
"Jealous women really scare me. It's unbelievable the things some women will do when they are jealous."
Omg, YES. A former friend (WW) of mine is one of them. She is a single mother who desperately needs to have a man in her life always. When we were hanging out she had a "friend with benefits" that did not want a real relationship with her, but she was full of denial. He and I became buddies and she got jealous. BTW I was already in my current relationship and had no romantic interest in this "friend" of hers. Anyways she went to the ultimate crazy in my opinion - she "accidentally" forgot to take her birth control pills a few times and ended up getting pregnant by this guy. She really thought she would force him to be with her that way, but he made it clear he still wouldn't be, and she had an abortion. She had done the same with her ex-bf, but in that case, she pretended to pregnant by showing her ex the old positive test she had from her son, and then went off the pill to get pregnant on purpose. But then she was so afraid to tell her parents she decided to abort the baby without even telling her bf.
But to the point, she was mad at me because the guy she wanted liked me more than her, and so did another "friend" she slept around with. One day my bf let me on his facebook and forgot about some messages she had sent him. Basically she had said, "Oh there are things you don't know about Janna, you should come over to my place so I can tell you....but don't tell Janna because I don't want to lose her as a friend..." This girl saw me crying over my bf wondering why he was suddenly suspicious of me, and lied straight to my face and tried to comfort me, then days later I saw those messages. So it turns out she had been telling my bf that she found her friend at my place, and we didn't come to the door for 10 min, and so on...
In her case I really believe she thought she was so irresistible because she's white - her son's father is black, and besides two others, all of the guys she's been with are Hispanic. She saw me as her competition even though I already had someone I was happy with. Many times I've seen and heard jokes about how non-WM will still take a WW no matter what she looks like or how she is just because she's white, so a lot of WW do have it in their head that EVERYBODY wants them.
I remember reading this letter in the past week or two. While he is concerned about his kids "fitting in", this point is not really valid to me. He knew his wife was Asian, therefore their offspring would be biracial. They did not know that his wife was going to have problems with infertility. So now that they can consider donors it just seems really insensitive and ignorant to say he would prefer to have white children. Obviously that is something to consider BEFORE you marry someone. And why do your kids need to look like their cousins, neighbors, classmates, etc? Does he assume their "homogeneously white area" will forever stay that way, or that they will never move to another home? The US population is so diverse and the number of non-white people will only continue to grow. That's just my feeling on this topic. But of course we don't know how his wife feels. As someone pointed out, a lot of times Asian will be viewed as "white" - at least in comparison to other minorities, and I've seen this myself. Many times I've seen Asian people that do hold white people up on a pedestal, and his wife could be one of them too.
1 year, 2 months ago on Black, White, Other, DBR IS DBR IS DBR (Damaged Beyond Repair)
It doesn't matter how you dress. There's been times I've looked a mess and some fool was still trying to talk to me. Guys know the majority of the time they will strike out, so they just hit on every-damn-body, in any situation, waiting for the one who will accept their crap. The thing is, if they knew how to be respectful in the first place they'd have better luck.
1 year, 3 months ago on Fighting Back Against Street Harassment (part two)