JannaAshley
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Ok, Star Jones. You want to see "black love" on tv? Well I'm watching yesterday's episode of Dr. Phil - a black couple and the dude has cheated on his wife with dozens of women. Apparently her cooking, cleaning, and literally putting the toothpaste on his damn toothbrush is just not enough, and his cheating is her fault. But at least they're both black, right? *rolls eyes*
Her loose screws definitely fell out lol. It was just weird for me to actually deal with a person that would stoop so low and do some crazy shit in order to trap a man. When I confronted her about the whole situation she basically just asked me to sweep it under the rug and keep being her friend. How the hell would that have gone? And then she couldn't understand why I told her ass she was crazy lol. Considering what she'd done I think I was nice about it, and I told her it was a shame that she threw away what could've been a really good friendship for us and our kids. I told her that trying to use a man to fill whatever empty void in her life would never work, and she should've thought about that had she really wanted to have a friendship with me. I just cut her out of my life and moved on, and she's doing the same old crap as before.
@onthewaydown @greengirl7 @Browncow
Yeah, luckily things still worked out for me. I'm still happy in my relationship and I see she's dragged yet another new man into her sons life. I immediately cut ties after finding out what she had been doing. So I definitely learned a lesson in dealing with a crazy chick :)
"Jealous women really scare me. It's unbelievable the things some women will do when they are jealous."
Omg, YES. A former friend (WW) of mine is one of them. She is a single mother who desperately needs to have a man in her life always. When we were hanging out she had a "friend with benefits" that did not want a real relationship with her, but she was full of denial. He and I became buddies and she got jealous. BTW I was already in my current relationship and had no romantic interest in this "friend" of hers. Anyways she went to the ultimate crazy in my opinion - she "accidentally" forgot to take her birth control pills a few times and ended up getting pregnant by this guy. She really thought she would force him to be with her that way, but he made it clear he still wouldn't be, and she had an abortion. She had done the same with her ex-bf, but in that case, she pretended to pregnant by showing her ex the old positive test she had from her son, and then went off the pill to get pregnant on purpose. But then she was so afraid to tell her parents she decided to abort the baby without even telling her bf.
But to the point, she was mad at me because the guy she wanted liked me more than her, and so did another "friend" she slept around with. One day my bf let me on his facebook and forgot about some messages she had sent him. Basically she had said, "Oh there are things you don't know about Janna, you should come over to my place so I can tell you....but don't tell Janna because I don't want to lose her as a friend..." This girl saw me crying over my bf wondering why he was suddenly suspicious of me, and lied straight to my face and tried to comfort me, then days later I saw those messages. So it turns out she had been telling my bf that she found her friend at my place, and we didn't come to the door for 10 min, and so on...
In her case I really believe she thought she was so irresistible because she's white - her son's father is black, and besides two others, all of the guys she's been with are Hispanic. She saw me as her competition even though I already had someone I was happy with. Many times I've seen and heard jokes about how non-WM will still take a WW no matter what she looks like or how she is just because she's white, so a lot of WW do have it in their head that EVERYBODY wants them.
I remember reading this letter in the past week or two. While he is concerned about his kids "fitting in", this point is not really valid to me. He knew his wife was Asian, therefore their offspring would be biracial. They did not know that his wife was going to have problems with infertility. So now that they can consider donors it just seems really insensitive and ignorant to say he would prefer to have white children. Obviously that is something to consider BEFORE you marry someone. And why do your kids need to look like their cousins, neighbors, classmates, etc? Does he assume their "homogeneously white area" will forever stay that way, or that they will never move to another home? The US population is so diverse and the number of non-white people will only continue to grow. That's just my feeling on this topic. But of course we don't know how his wife feels. As someone pointed out, a lot of times Asian will be viewed as "white" - at least in comparison to other minorities, and I've seen this myself. Many times I've seen Asian people that do hold white people up on a pedestal, and his wife could be one of them too.
It doesn't matter how you dress. There's been times I've looked a mess and some fool was still trying to talk to me. Guys know the majority of the time they will strike out, so they just hit on every-damn-body, in any situation, waiting for the one who will accept their crap. The thing is, if they knew how to be respectful in the first place they'd have better luck.
It is sad, because you really can't take the physical risk. Too many times I've seen freaking videos of women being attacked with unhelpful bystanders. There's always been a problem with bystanders not coming to anyone's defense, but these days people like to record all things horrible to share on the internet. Drives me crazy.
I enjoyed your last post, I 'm happy to see you have several more coming our way. I'm gonna have to get this book! Only in these past few months I came across MHP, and I love her.
It is unfortunate that people will assume this stereotype to be true of all black women, even when all evidence to the contrary is right in their faces. I've had that feeling before too, like someone thinks they can step up to me any old way, and talk to me however, as if they thought I would be fast and easy. In school I was usually quiet, the shy/nice girl, and focused on school - I had no interest in boys at all. It didn't happen to me in school, but receiving unwanted attention from creepy men just turned me off to them all completely. I was at a shoe store with my mom and nephew once and I was off somewhere by myself, trying things on, when some BM that was definitely too old for me came out of nowhere trying to talk to me and offered to buy my shoes. WTF? I just remember feeling so uncomfortable... I feel like a lot of black women have experienced something similar - a disrespectful approach by a man who thinks he can "buy" you like a prostitute.
IKR! Lol I have opinions on this issue, but I'm not gonna give myself the stress today of even jumping into debate. I guess I'll just say only focusing on raising taxes on the rich and cutting certain types of welfare does not really dig into the issues that is causing this growing inequality.
Ann Coulter....UGH
Amen! It's so true that people are looking to hear some excuse about what BM lack, instead of what drew you to the individual person you're with. I'm with my bf because of who he is, not because of who he is not. Guess that's why so many BM get their feelings hurt seeing a BW with any other race of men lol.
OMG...I wish anyone in my family would try to talk me out of being with someone because of their race. That shit would be shut down quick. My family has been full of IRR (mostly black/white) so luckily that hasn't been an issue :)
But I did have a cousin telling me how hispanic people don't like black people...I was thinking "Are we in prison or something?" Lol it's not that serious. I've never seen big problems where we live so I don't know why she was that concerned. Even if that was true, I'm just with one person, not the whole group.
I HATE that disclaimer! Like, why do you need to proclaim your "love" of ANY man that is not your own? Happy I've never felt the need to explain my romantic choices to anyone.
Before seeing this, I didn't know anything about Eve dating anybody. If they're happy I hope they stay together and ignore the ignorance/hate.
I don't understand why they are suggesting to just give prescriptions for it just in case, but if it came down to the fact that my daughter ended up having sex and didn't use protection or it failed, I'd want her to take Plan B. I know I took it one time just because of paranoia - I don't remember if I suffered any bad side effects.
I definitely want to teach my kids to be safe and encourage waiting. I was not sexually active as a teen, not even really into boys...lucky for my parents because they sure as hell NEVER EVER said a single word to me about sex when I was growing up. Literally. Not one word about it. I know that can be due to how they were raised, but that's just inexcusable to me. I guess they were 100% sure I was not dealing with boys. They were right, but I will NOT be working with that assumption with my daughter. I know I won't be condoning that my kid has sex as a teen, but I'm realistic so she will definitely be educated. If it comes down to her needing Plan B, condoms, whatever - I want her to have it, because I cannot even think about having a pregnant teen or being a grandma before I even hit 40 lol.
And unfortunately I have to agree with Law's statement. As much as I hate that so many men want to be sperm donors and nothing else, there is nothing to keep them from running away. They have the luck of not having their bodies locked up to grow a child. So women can't rely on anybody else to protect them or their bodies.
@iHeartLove @Sunshine789 Yeah, I think people are making a stretch with those accusations. She's not dark-skinned to begin with, and after you factor in make-up, lighting, cameras, etc you can't really make an accurate judgment of that. But I definitely get why the author used Beyonce as an example.
Do what makes you happy! It can be hard, but ignore the negativity. EVERY TIME my grandma sees my hair so wants to ask me when I'm gonna straighten it. She doesn't like that I chop off several inches at a time. She told me I was gonna mess my hair up...frustrating! I don't know why some people feel the need to comment on someone's appearance in front of every damn body, with no regard to that person's feelings or possible embarrassment they may cause.
I have been relaxer-free since about April, and it is frustrating! My problem is that I have not devoted the time to figure out what my hair needs. My hair is pretty strong and always handled relaxers well, but I just wanted to discover my natural hair. My hair has always been thick, but with no help from a relaxer...sigh. I just wish my hair could do itself because as much as I would love to play around and style it up, I'm just lazy lol. I'm still trying to figure out which products I should use and what my routine should be.
Thanks for your response because reading the first post on this issue, I decided to not even bother with the comments. Nobody should ever be blamed for their SO's cheating. If your spouse is emotionally distant, or physically let themselves go, or whatever reason people cite for cheating, you still have no reason to cheat. You should be an adult and address your issues, and if they can't be resolved then you can end your relationship BEFORE starting another. I hate that people want to talk about this woman's looks and not be surprised he cheated. That is so insulting and unfair to her, and to any other person that's been cheated on.
And I hate when people talk about others' looks in general because beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, and my opinions about someone else don't matter.
Well damn. Now I see what Christelyn was talking about in her other post - people are being pretty judgmental to this couple. Obviously everybody has their opinions, but nobody was asking for a jury on whether or not they should be together. Even pointing out the difference in height and suggesting this girl is "settling." Come on. My bf is a short Mexican guy and I prefer to wear flat shoes so I don't feel like a giant with him...does that mean I love him any less or that I'm settling? When it comes to me choosing a guy 'height' is not on my list of standards, who he is comes before ALL things. And the number of years before meeting parents or family - that's their choice as a couple or that was her choice to put up with it. A language barrier can be a legit excuse (although that can't be used forever) - people can feel uncomfortable when they can't understand everything being said and some people don't like playing permanent translator. That is partially my case, and the other part is that my parents have never been included in my romantic relationships - serious or casual. Because of my relationship with my parents not being super close, their opinions of who I've dated never mattered, but others may feel a lot of pressure about who they date.
I think people are trying to dissect this entire relationship from these two small posts and that can't be done because we don't know these individuals. Trying to say this girl is settling just because she has an IRR is unfair. If you are in a serious relationship you are probably more willing to deal with the ups AND downs because you realize relationships are not perfect in every aspect. Point is we can't judge them based on a few pics and comments, we don't know them personally or how they function together.
Good post. I can only imagine the frustrations of teaching kids. I'm sure it would be easy to find plenty of black people that would be upset about what you said, but it's true. I've said before I've really only seen black kids harass other kids that actually want to learn. I used to get teased a bit in elementary school because I was a very good student, and only by black . Unfortunately there are black kids that grow up learning to shun education because they would be "acting white" if they didn't. So many kids are way too concerned with looking cool, but unfortunately that catches up with you - it's not so cool to be held back a grade or not graduate.